Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 254 3/2/25

Episode Date: March 2, 2025

Who will win the Oscars? How did Gene Hackman die? How did the pope live? Also, a couple sits beside a corpse on a 4-hour flight.Watch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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It's the Oscars tonight and we're in Los Angeles. We have our fingers on the pulse of an industry that barely has a pulse. There's no pulse, man. I was just meeting with people and a friend of mine is shooting a commercial downtown. I was down there today and he has to do that because I mean, you know him, but anyway,

he worked a lot, does work, he's a director and it's bleak out there. It's bleak and not only that, not only on the inside of the business is it bleak, but like I'm looking at oh you just disappeared you back wow you just disappeared for a second yeah because I don't want to hear bleak dude oh and I don't know what my bad connection today my zoom went down check check check. That's good. Let me check my Wi-Fi Maybe I was hacked bro

Good good Wi-Fi. Okay good Nobody's seen any of the movies. I pulled up a list of the Oscar nominees. I have seen like Two or three of these movies, you know, and and now it used to be there was like five or three Oscar nominees. Now they do, I think, 10. Just so the studios must have like convinced them that, you know, more people want Oscar nominated movies. Oh, no, they've changed it a few times, and they change some of it back and all that stuff. I mean, let me ask you this, I'll list the best pictures you tell me yes or no, if you seen them. Well I see two before Sunday and all full disclosure today is Thursday. Thursday. Anora. Saw it really early on. The brutal. Undisciplined. Ridiculous. Alright we're not reviewing them. The acting is amazing. These are yes and no. Oh sorry. The Brutalist. Worst thing I've sorry yes. Complete Unknown. Yes. Conclave. Yes. Dune Part 2.

No. Amelia Perez. No. I'm Still Here. No. Nickel Boys. No. The Substance. Awful. Wicked. Will not. Will not. I have seen a Nora and a complete unknown and conclave. That's it. I mean, usually I've seen all of them by this time of the year. You do not have to see Amelia Perez from what I'm hearing. You do not have to see the brutalist and I'm telling you that directly. You definitely do not have to see the substance.

It's so French and you know how like we were constantly shocked the first half of our lives about what the French think are funny and their completely bizarre senses of humor. That's all also in drama. I will say this, I believe the same thing and I pretty much still do, but there was a sitcom, a French sitcom that came out a couple years ago called the I think it was called the Agency and it was about this talent agency in Paris and it was legitimately a very fun I've heard it's very good also wasn't man bites dog the documentary the faux documentaryumentary, if you will.

That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Yeah, so it is possible for the French to be funny. It's rare, it's unlikely. I haven't seen, there's one stand-up comic, actually Louis CK was dating this French stand-up comic who's apparently the biggest comic in France, but I have not seen her, so I can't judge. this French stand-up comic who's apparently the biggest comic in France. Yeah. But I have not seen her so I can't judge.

Okay, do you know the blood scene in Carrie? Of course. Okay. The prom. I'm trying to be absolutely accurate here. I would say there's a scene at the end where basically she looks like Elephant Man, but way, way, way, believe it or not, everything's over the top. So way more distorted and misshapen

and malformed than Elephant Man. And I would say it's. One thousand times as much blood as in Carrie, and I'm not even kidding you. I'm like betting the over under on that number. Like that, it was endless to where, I bet four editors were fired trying to tell this creator, this is too much blood. And then they got a fifth editor who was blind

and just said, just tell me when to press stop. Yeah, yeah. Now I like a good blood scene, but... No, no, the whole audience was sprayed. People sprayed in the 30th row, like in the eye forever and in their mouth, and then it sprays the next guy. I'll say this, speaking of that kind of thing, have you ever seen Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the series?

No. Oh no, yeah, I did, I did, I did. Have you ever seen Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the series? No. Oh no, yeah, I did, I did, I did. It's very watchable. It's very, well, obviously Donald Glover, I'll watch him do anything. And her. And she, first of all, it took me three episodes to go, oh, that's the girl from Penn 15.

I had no idea. I know, you're amazing at identifying Asians. That's right. I could tell what country she's from, what graduate school she went to, what her feet probably look like. But she's amazing. It's a very good, it's uneven,

but my point is that show also suffers from not knowing when to rein it in. The action scenes go on way too long. And there's a plausibility issue. Like if you're gonna do a shoot-em-up, make the physics work, make the logic work. Don't have somebody who's a trained assassin that you have seen in previous scenes

pick off a target from 500 yards? Don't have them miss somebody who's running through a living room Yeah, yeah, no, I know there was a lot of that. You know, Sarah Silverman called it The Marvel movies that her boyfriend who we know I don't know but I mean- Rory Albanese. Yeah, apparently a great guy. Great guy. I think he loves Marvel movies or something, but she called him like, oh, it's another dance sequence. And she was referring to the fight scenes

that you have to sit through, fully knowing the outcome. Yeah, yeah. And so I watched, I think I talked about it last week, The Gorge, it's horrible, but it was a very interesting beginning and it's on Apple TV and it's a movie. And after a while you're like, okay, and I said out loud like, okay, let's go two times speed or three times speed through this dance sequence. Okay, there's still a lot next dance sequence. Okay, they defeated the zombies again next

day. And I just the movie was half as long. And it was terrible. Right, right. All right. Well, let us go to the prediction. We'd make our predictions and see who wins or does nobody care? I don't think anybody cares. No, no, no. Let's go through the predictions. By the way, what I was gonna say you cut me off on a Nora. It's because it's related to what you were just saying. Nora is so I think I've talked about this so undisciplined. He was the writer, director, and editor. Anybody would tell you, good Lord, please cut 30 minutes out of this that you do not

need it. You get five minutes out of the top 15 minutes right off the bat. Wish it was longer. Wish it was longer. I loved it. I loved all the, and you probably would have to cut from the strip club scenes. And I would say as the 13 year old, it's still inside of me. I wouldn't lose a frame of that.

It was very realistic. I mean, not that I've been in a strip club, but. It is realistic, but it's like, did you just go to a strip club for the first time in your life? Also, we get the point after one or two sequences and then it's like, don't show us eight. Yeah, show me eight. Show me nine. Watch another one. I want to see the deleted scenes. All right. So best film you're going to pick. I'm going to guess who you're going to pick. film you're gonna pick I'm gonna guess who you're gonna pick you're going you're gonna pick a Nora conclave all right I'm gonna pick a Nora Nora is gonna win I want a root for conclave well that's your guess before Sunday I'm gonna watch

I'm still here I know I literally don't even know what it's about and Nickel Boys which I also don't know what it's about. I saw which was the one with Kierd Culkin in it. Yeah yeah yeah he was I can't believe he's winning all the awards he was so over the top. I don't think the movie was not well he is over the top though that's just who that's like saying Christopher Walken's over the top. You know? No, no, no. I mean also the character, Christopher Walken rings true. This character didn't ring true.

I told you, it could have been the best movie ever if in the end we learned that the grandmother abused the boys. Yes. And one's a shut-in and the most, I like that note. I like that note. That's good. Oh, it was such a good note because

what else could explain the hypermania that that guy was in? Also living in an airport, which you kind of learn in the first scene. Anyway, spoiler alert, he's not good. Spoiler alert. So the Brutalist. Now, what is the Brutalist? Is it a Holocaust movie? Um, no, it's about, uh, you'd like, are we going to lose the algorithm already? I'm not going to say it. But there is that word in this. Oh no, really? Yeah, and it's about, although I felt like I was violated watching this movie to the three hour and thirty 35 minute mark.

So you felt arred by the end of it. There's a 15 minute intermission and I walked out of my house. Yeah. I didn't even come back. I don't need to see a scene of that. That disturbs me. I can't handle those scenes. All right. Best director. Sean Baker is nominated for Enora. Amelia Perez is nominated. The Brutalist is nominated. The Substance and a Complete Unknown, James Mangold. Oh man, I don't even know what to think about. I guess it's, I mean, I guess it's Sean Baker. Sean Baker for Enora, I believe

that's what I'm going with as well. Actor, Adrian Brody for The Brutalist, Timothy Chamolais, Chalamet. How is the Conclave director not nominated? The thing was beautiful. It was so well paced. The cinematography was amazing. The acting was amazing.

Everything a director is supposed to do, check, check, check. Amazing. Where? Yeah, and kept it under three hours. Where are we going? For best actor, Adrian Brody, Timothy Chamolais, Coleman Domingo, Ralph Fiennes, and Sebastian Stan for The Apprentice. Man I saw Sing Sing and Coleman Domingo is

extraordinary in that. Have you seen Sing Sing? No. Is it about the prison Sing Sing? The one your mom used to touch herself to looking into the yard. Easy. No she her balcony overlooks the Sing Sing prison. the the the which McCall the rec area. Yeah. Oh yeah, where they're all yard the yard. They're lifting shirtless lifting shirtless and playing shirtless basketball games and I would sit with binoculars and watch the basketball games of killers against ourists. Shirts versus skinheads? I gotta go Ralph Fiennes.

So am I. And that's another one from the heart. Adrian Brody, I don't think, because there was that stuff that came out about AI and his voice or whatever. I also now have seen it and I don't think he's that good in it. And um... Chalamet... Chalamet deserves it as well. If he gets it I'll be fucking psyched. The guy worked on that role for like five years. He learned 40 Dylan songs and he really... I mean there was a 60 minutes piece on him. The kid's amazing. He's a really hard worker. No, he's amazing. You know, I give it up for him. He must be getting so much pussy.

I know, and he did the pussy hound move, which is he brought his mom to the SAG Awards. That's what you do. That's what you do. But you know who he's dating, right? Oh yeah, who is he dating? One of those horrible Kardashian women. Oh, right? Oh, yeah, who is he dating? One of those horrible Kardashian women. Oh, oh, right. No, of course. What am I saying?

They were at the Golden Globes. We talked to both of them from the stage. Yeah. Yeah. OK. And then we've got best actress. The woman from Wicked, the one with shallow, Amelia Perez, Mikey Madison from Enora, Demi Moore for The Substance, she's the favorite, and the Fernando Torres from I'm Still Here.

I would say Mikey Madison should win. I'm gonna put it on her. I am too. Okay. I can't, I can't, I saw the movie. Listen, Demi Moore's not bad in it. Which movie, you saw Substance? I did with the blood, but it's just so... I felt sorry. Maybe that's why I'll show in.

I felt sorry for Demi Moore being in the movie, but she owned it. Well, there comes a point in somebody's career where, especially Demi Moore, who was... She was a rat packer, a brat packer, and she she sort of like was seen as just you know objectified maybe a bit and then she now that she's older she's dealt with the gravitas of sitting by Bruce Willis's side so now Hollywood really wants to give her an award now we got supporting actor your Yura Borisov from Anura. Oh my god it was fucking great. How was Kiri Kulkin a supporting actor? He was literally the lead of the movie. You might win. Hey back to Demi Moore for one second. You know it's an interesting

philosophical question. Is it braver to expose yourself and be so vulnerable to show your whole body at that age if it were your natural body that's in its she's in her 50s right or maybe even close to 60 or is it even braver to show your body like Demi Moore did with all the fake parts that you've gotten over decades is it obvious she has fake breasts it always has been. I've always thought so. I always thought she went she went to. She has fake boobs.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no They're the loveliest two pieces of flesh I've ever seen in my life. Who? Kanye West's wife.

Oh yeah. Are they really look real? They're fake? They look so real. But no, they've admitted that they're fake. Yeah. They probably padded underneath them, right? Or something?

They did it right. I don't know how they did it, but I'm going to have them talk to my... Supporting actor. Supporting actor, we got the guy from Enora, Yura Borsleff who was incredible. Kira Culkin who will obviously win because he's really a lead actor. Ed Norton from A Complete Unknown was incredible and then the guy from The Brutalist and the guy from The Apprentice. Guy Pearce was better than Adrian Brody. Jeremy Strong I heard, I heard we both have to see The Apprentice.

I guess Jeremy Strong is so, some say appropriately over the top, like it's a spectacle. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Jesus. If I guess Culkin's gonna win, I don't know. It could be, it could be the Yura Borisov,

could be Ed Nort, or Ed Nort, obviously. I didn't know it could be it could be the Yura Boris F could be Ed nor Ed Norton obviously I didn't know it was him for the first 20 minutes of the movie he was so good who who Ed Norton and in complete unknown oh you didn't disappeared into the role he disappeared and I don't even know what he did that he could do that I know all right I'm gonna go Kiera Culkin just because he's fucking, he's dropping a weight class to win. And then we got, all right, last one, supporting actress.

Monica Barbaro from A Complete Unknown, she was good. Ariana Grande from Wicked, nobody's gonna vote for that. Felicity Jones in The Brutalists. Isabella Rossellini for Conclave. She only had about 11 lines, but she's such a big name and so respected. I think people will vote for her. And then Zoe Saldana from Amelia Perez.

I'm going Isabella. I'm going Zoe. Are you writing these down? No, we'll remember. All right, that's enough. Nobody cares. People are now listening to the Sklar Brothers podcast. What are they doing? They're doing predictions for the weekend sports? Well, they also do a thing called Dumb Town, which is a podcast about news, dumb people in the news. It's not dissimilar from ours so we have to keep up

our quality so we don't... why am I telling people about a competing podcast? I don't know is that an ad? Is that our ad this week? Yeah. Logo this week is from Bob, it's us winning Oscars, winning Oscars and the song is from Ray Manslaca. I sent you this did you listen? No. Oh my god it's so fucking good. It's real rock. It's ballsy. I love it. Great instrumentation. Thank you. Good lyrics. Corrections. Isabella Rossellini did one movie with Mastroianni Marcello Mastroianni in 1987 Dark Eyes which I guess that stood out in my mind because I what are you looking at? Will you look up at me? Dude I got text coming in.

I know but it's really. You needn't be I'm listening to every word yes it was one movie and I knew you would get Fitz-Fect checked like crazy on that conversation I remember that movie because I was at the New York Film Festival When it premiered and I was brought to the film by a girl. I was dating that summer I was 19 and she was 40 and she brought me to the film and Then we made love afterwards So really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And then it also says she did no movies with Italian director Roberto

Rossellini. He was her father married to her mother. Ingrid Bergman. No, it's a leaning was married to Ingrid Bergman. It's Yeah, her pedigree is crazy. Damn she's like the Sofia Coppola of Italy. Bigger than that. All right and then somebody else that was from Sharon and then Ryan in Chicago says I'm gonna continue making corrections I've already made because you continue to mistake the same things. You were discussing gas lighting and said the term didn't exist until a few years ago. Here, word for word, is the correction I sent you in 2023. Quote, the term gas lighting has had a resurgence

due to Me Too, but it's not a new term. The story Gibbons referred to about a man dimming the lights to make his wife feel like she's insane comes from Gaslight, a 1938 play. See? Made into a film in 1940. I'm beginning to see that correcting Fitzdogg is a Sisyphean task. All right, Ryan, we get it. Sisyphean. You're a big deal. You're smart. You're a big deal. Hey, look at you. Joe Blow said, Conclave review. Ralph Fiennes? Why, is that wrong? I think it's rave no it's not I'm not kidding third rock guy just saying I'm doing work third rock guy John Lithgow I guess it's let's go right let go let it go also that Italian bad guy what's his name oh yeah that

great Italian director that works with ill Isabella Rossellini you know who I mean right most Sunday papers movie review ever okay rave really yep so a guy named five after 4am said another killer who hosted SNL was William Shatner. I love that. Who'd Shatner kill? Well there's listen if we're speculating about Walken so this is fair because you know Walken is most people meaning no Shatner no but we had spec we had included Walken's name. Right, right. So for including Walken's name, also it's a drowning, Shatner famously, his wife was found at the bottom of their swimming pool, he called 911. Oh, right.

The detail, and she was an Olympic swimmer, I believe. And the detail I like to share is that he was bone dry when they got there and she was still at the bottom of the pool. Now I don't know what I'm talking about. It could have been suicide. There could have very easily been no reason to go. I don't know the details, but I like this suggestion.

Well maybe it wasn't a heated pool. I mean, jump in. Could have been January. I know and if the pool guy was just there, it still smells a little chloriney. Somebody else said you could have mentioned Trump as an SNL host who's been responsible for a few deaths here and there. Well, that's a that's not fair to say he's the president.

True. It's tens of thousands of deaths. Many have recorded the Rodney Crowell song even cowgirls get the blues but Lynn Anderson had the notable version not Loretta Lynn. Did you know that? I did not know that. How would you not know that? You were a huge Rodney Crowell fan. Big time I know and he it's on his greatest hits but he didn't record it for the longest time. I mean, it was like 1977 or something, was the first person to record it.

But anyway, I did not know about the Lynn Anderson thing. Yeah. Matt Reyers says, "'The Walendez were the tightrope walking family. "'I did like the Walenda Menendez combo of Wallendez that you said. Yeah. I like the positive tone of these corrections. Thank you. They killed their dad by just enabling him and just letting him walk on a tightrope into way too late in age. You must have been kidding, this is Max,

you must have been kidding. You said McDonald's fries had over 100 additives. Quick Google search. Multiple sources said their fries contain 19 ingredients. All right. It's about 15 too many. You know you think if you drop your pants and you drop a you drop you know take a dump and you you look at TikTok, you think you are a little smarter as you stand up. Sometimes you're not. No, no. Tour dates coming up. Atlanta at the punchline,

March 6th through 8th, Hollywood improv. Mike Gibbons does not know yet if he's performing on the St. Patrick's Day show, March 15th. I know I'm not. Really? I know, sorry, sorry. You're going to New York. I'm gonna go see my dad in New York.

All right, wish I could be there, but you know, Gubbins is asking to come on the show, but I don't know if that's happening this year. Tell him to prepare a bit. Well, that's just it, he doesn't prepare. Like the show has got Harlan Williams. I mean, not this year. I haven't booked it yet. But you know, Harlan Williams, Zach Alifanakis, Bill Burr, and then Gubbins goes up there. High, unprepared and halfway through the set,

he starts pacing and saying, What should I do? I can't have that. Well now it sounds great. Also, Hamilton, Ontario on March 26, Toronto, March 27, Pittsburgh at the Improv, March 28 through 30. Also coming to Boston, April 4 and 5, going in a day early to see the Red Sox opening day. Nice! With your buddy Jon Tobin who just asked about you. Oh my god, wait a minute. What so hold on that is a Huh?

What you gonna come? No, I'm trying to think when Olivia is when she gets out of school It has to be later. He's dying to see it. He's like when's Gibbons coming back to Boston? I know man this class I'm teaching a USC messed up the did Did you hear we won the Beanpot, BU? No! We beat BC who was everyone said was unbeatable. That's amazing. If people don't know, there's a tournament, a hockey tournament in Boston every year with the four big colleges, Harvard, BU, BC, and Northeastern play. It's at the Boston Gadden, the TD Gadden.

It's huge, it's a huge tournament. Oh, sold out. The whole city, even like people didn't go to those schools. Whole city gets in, it's a very cool local thing. Then I'm coming to Huntington, Escondido, Tampa, Austin, La Jolla, go to fitsdog.com, get some tickets. You can also pick up a Sunday Papers T-shirt

while you're there. One says take it each. One says Sunday Papers and one says something else but high quality good cotton shirts. Oh, love it. Are you ready to crankle something? Oh, do you have do you have something? Let me see I can get Do you have something? Let me see. I can get. Oh, hold on. Yeah, I got it. I got some. Oh, I have a big piece of plastic. There you go. Front page. All right. Was Jean Hackman tragedy a terrible accident or something else? So

we woke up this morning, Thursday, to this terrible news about Jean Hackman. And then police issued an update around midday. So all of you know probably what happened. But just imagine we're sitting here, we don't know what happened. So Greg, what is your best guess? You know, the daughter and a lot of people are guessing carbon monoxide poisoning. But from what I heard today, and this might be updated and corrected, I think she was found, they think the bodies were there for a while before they were discovered.

She was found in the bathroom and apparently there were pills all around her. He was found in the mud room and then their dog was also dead. Here's what I think. The guy was what, 93? He was old, maybe even older, but yeah, 90s. He was a man. He drank scotch. He ate red meat. He's 93. He farted, killed everybody. I think maybe, maybe the wife was trying to take some painkillers from the smell, but it was indeed a gas leak but it was from Gene Hackman's ass. This was

in Santa Fe here's my theory they had just learned the news that New Mexico is gonna be called New America and they off themselves. That's what I'm going with. I like it. It's topical that's our clip for this week. Epstein files. Epstein files. They were supposed to be released today. They were not. So again, Sunday, you might know, but apparently there's no no big bombs in there. They were delayed as Attorney General Pam Bondi revealed she still has not received the full set of documents from the Justice Department. A handful of right wing influencers received binders titled Epstein files on Thursday today, but they have admitted the contents included no smoking gun. The conservative conservative media influencers included Libs of TikTok's

sorry Libs of TikTok's Chaya Raychik said they were given copies of the files after a meeting with President Donald Trump in the White House. So just to review, influencers are getting court documents before the attorney general. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I mean, it's incredible. Did you see the picture of the kids that are working at the,

they went into the justice department to review the files and fire people? They were three kids who looked like they were beaten in high school a year before. They were three nerdy fucking 19 year olds with full access to records and literally sitting there going fired by two people that have committed 30

years to a civil service job trying to help the country. It's fucking crazy. And listen, you could say a cleaning house if you want to have that position is overdue, whatever. But this is based on bad research, incorrect data that's been pointed out to them. Like at least do an educated, like make the country better if that's what your objective is. Well, it's not about, it's not cleaning house.

It's moving everything out of the house and not having new furniture to put in. There's no plan. There's nothing to replace this complete just annihilation of whatever. Let's not get into it. But it's first of all, you said there's no smoking gun. There's a pile of guns on fire. There are photos of Epstein with his arm around at two presidents, uh, eight billionaires. No, but those are already out. Those are already out.

But I'm saying, what else are we gonna learn? I mean, these are the biggest names in the world. Prince Andrew, who are we gonna find out? We already know that fucking, who was the other billionaire that? Well, I mean, Stephen Hawking was down there. Stephen Hawking was there getting a hand job that lasted 61 hours. Well, he's Mr. Laptance.

That's what he can do. Yeah, right. Oh, my chair. Which would you want to see the most? P Diddy's videos, the Epstein files, the Kennedy investigation, or the Area 51 files? You're looking down again. No, I'm thinking.

I mean, it's between Kennedy and Area 51. I'd have to know like, okay, so if the assumption is the presumption can be both are very juicy then Kennedy. I'd say Kennedy also because if it's because if it is the CIA that changes the whole landscape of the country for people. I mean we all know because of Tom O'Neill that the CIA and the FBI are involved in a lot of shit that nobody would ever believe and this would just make people look at the country a different way. Yeah. Pope Francis if he's still alive today is Thursday who knows? He's getting better that's what the

report said. Well that's good. You know why he's getting better. That's what the report that's good. Well, that's good You know why he's getting better. Why because millions of people are praying for him. I Have a different theory. I think he switched from a Catholic doctor to a Jewish one. There you go smarts It's out of network for him. Yeah So anyway, he has had double pneumonia and he's resting and he's getting back to work. They say he's got mild kidney problems, respiratory distress, and right now he's gotten back to work

meeting with Vatican officials to sign documents linked to sainthood designations. Let me just say this, if I'm up for saint, you know, whatever, you can't campaign for it. I think you just get nominated. I don't want a guy with searing abdominal pain who's pissing blood deciding whether I get to be a saint. I want a guy on shrooms who's getting a foot rub in the sun. I want him deciding if I get to be a saint. I don't know, you might want someone

who's really losing their faculties. If it's you we're talking about, up for sainthood. I've said a lot on this podcast, yes. Yeah, and also they'd be like, what does it matter? What does anything matter? Sure. Yeah. Give the Greg, give that guy Greg.

The one we have all the meetings about, constantly doing damage control. Sure, make him a saint. Why not? Look who's fucking running the country. So we got entertainment coming up. There it is. This was perfect. Oh, I should check his Instagram now. Last night, Bob Dylan randomly posted a 2016 Machine Gun Kelly performance video on Instagram. The paper cuts, that's Machine Gun Kelly,

he said, we got to his Instagram, he did post a video, I'm like, just the originator, and then he goes, just the originator of doing everything opposite of what people wanted him to do, randomly posting a video of me back in the day rapping in a vinyl shop, I'm just like, what the F? And it's like, yeah, I guess he is doing the opposite of what everybody wants. Even now.

I think Dylan's trying to get Megan Fox's pants. Have you seen his girl? Have you seen Megan Fox? No, of course, of course, I know Megan Fox. She's like one of the hottest women who's ever existed. I gotta say though, this Machine Gun Kelly, I've always had a soft spot for this guy because he's got a history. The guy's got a story. I'm tired of these milk toast suburban white chicks

who took vocal classes and are being coached by CAA on how to appear and get all their music engineering. Like Machine Gun Kelly's kind of a renegade. He had an interesting life. He lived around the world growing up and got kicked out of his house. His mom died. He's got something to say.

And I respect the guy. We'll probably get a lot of mail for that. Why, you don't like him? I don't know enough about them, but I haven't really heard music of his that has impressed me. Well, it was rap, and then he started doing this kind of rock,

I guess you'd call it punk kind of feel. This is what I do want you to do. Maybe after we tape the podcast while you're uploading it and all that, go to Bob Dylan's Instagram account So machine gun Kelly is the latest post the post before machine gun Kelly is the last testament of Frank James who outlived his brother

Jesse James it is Fascinating the last testament. What does that mean? I It is fascinating. The last testament, what does that mean? I don't know, but he's reading it like it sounds like at the end of his life, he talks about being an old man. I guess it's his will, right, it must be his will. Yeah, it is so well written,

and he talked about one of the greatest gifts was he grew up with a very stern mother in Missouri and unlike Faulkner and he all through the house oh his dad left for the gold rush I believe and never came back but what he did leave was a house full of Shakespeare and all the great works and he read all of them. This is such an articulate piece of writing that you hear, it's fantastic. No, I read a biography of Jesse James, which is one of the best biographies I've ever written,

read in my life. It's just, I mean, yeah, it was a mom with a bunch of boys and this was like, that state was neutral during the Civil War, so each neighborhood, each town had a different affiliation, whether it was the the unions or the Confederates. And so they would just go to the next town and fucking torch it or just kill all the men. And and they were in the that they were just a marauding gang

that happened to be the best gang in the whole West. It was amazing. And he says, you'll hear it, he talks about why it's the best gang and it's because before he could really walk, he could ride a horse and he rode bareback everywhere and it was his horse riding that he attributes to him still being alive versus all his contemporaries who were in the same racket. They were the South, it was revenge, but yeah, brothers killed brothers. He talks about all this.

And then the reason they think, I read the comments, they think Bob Dylan posted it maybe is, it's a real shout out to Minnesota, which is the beginning of the end of the James brothers according to Frank. Interesting. That they are tough folk in Minnesota, and they had never faced something like that when they were trying to rob a bank.

Wow. Oh, it's fascinating. And then there's machine gun Kelly. They covered a lot of ground. That's what's fascinating is they went state to state. In the end, Jesse James was hiding in Atlanta when they finally found him. Oh wow. Yeah.

That'll be corrected, but I'm gonna stand by that. Let's get to make America Florida. Let's do it. Okay. Officers, I love this story. Officers with the Cape Coral Police Department responded to a condo complex around 3 a.m. after receiving the Apple Watch accident alert from the person wearing the Apple Watch. The officers saw a silver Kia crashed near the building when they arrived.

No one was inside the vehicle, but officers said they spoke to the vehicle's owner, Alex Wilson, 27, who was standing next to the passenger door. Wilson had struck a sign at the intersection of the Pelican, blah, blah, blah, before hitting a fire hydrant and bushes in front of the complex. Officers said they noticed a strong odor of alcohol on his breath and made bloodshot eyes and slurred speech. Wilson said he swerved. This is my favorite detail.

Wilson said he swerved to avoid something yellow in the road, which deputies said they determined to be a fire hydrant. Oh. He has, you know, in the road. At first, they thought it was Bobby Lee. He asked to be taken to the hospital for evaluation, and his blood alcohol level was twice over

twice the legal limit. And then he was medically cleared and arrested on one count of DUI and four counts of DUI property damage. So your Apple watch can tell when you've been in a trauma, I guess. And it called the police on him and he got busted because that's insane. Dude, I would. I bought an Apple Watch, I wore it for two days and I bought that shit back. You are literally, it's like George Orwell talked about

in 1984 that we, the government was going to be watching us, what he didn't predict was that we were gonna hand it over to them, that we were going to basically donate all our data, our whereabouts, not only that, but insurance companies, car insurance companies now are doing this thing where, I forget what that thing is in your car that gives you information, and it also tracks when you stop suddenly.

It also tracks when you swerve. It tracks when you are breaking the speed limit and all that data goes to your insurance company. The GM is the main culprit of this, their cars do it and GM made a deal with Geico and Allstate to sell the information to them and then they jack up your premiums. I don't think I've come to a complete stop at a stop sign maybe in my life. Yeah right. And if I do I

feel like I should be pulled over like it feels so wrong. I was you know my, I had it for a month and then I got t boned crushed the side of the car took seven weeks to fix. Bro, I just saw you in it. I took it. I got it back. Me and Aaron got in the car to drive three blocks up to that Italian restaurant on Lincoln. And we get to a we get to a four-way stop and I stopped, you know, a reasonable stop like you said, not zero, but it was my right

away and the guy to my right just rolled through it, but I was already going too far and this dude was not looking and I fucking, I couldn't stop, so I floored it. And the back wheels, I fishtailed out. And literally the back end of my car, that dude missed me by an inch. And I fishtailed, almost hit a parked car, and then fishtailed back again. And we ended up between two parked cars

with the front of my car against the curb. Didn't touch anything and my hands were shaking. It was fucking crazy. And I literally just got the car back. And in that split second, all I was thinking about is the car is gonna get wrecked again. That's all I could think about.

And I looked back at the next next day I went to the intersection, dark tire marks going semi circular in the in the intersection. You you're a Prius guy, man. You're a Prius guy. It's time to get back to the Prius. I know. I feel like that all the time. I just I enjoy driving it so much. But I always feel like I'm in danger Man that thing is cursed. Good luck with that. Maybe that's the name of my next memoir Prius guy and a Mustang Yeah

I can't believe it almost wrecked again. You're such an Audi guy No, I'm not. Oh What all I want to do is sell it now and go Asian because it uh I bring it in it has 38,000 miles on it it's a q7 thing it's an SUV I bring it in fine they're like hey it's all great this is my last maintenance thing that was free and Audi the dealership check check check oh you need you need your engine mount, your left driver's side engine mount needs to be, so I'm like, what are you talking?

I've never, I've had cars my whole life. I've never even heard of an engine mount issue. I have 38,000 miles. I'm like, how much is that? And they're like, I think they said like $2,200. I'm like, I go, what? I go, what are you talking about? And I then Google it, yeah, it's a thing.

They go on them, like on the Audi Forum, they can't believe it's not a recall. The engine mounts. No, shit. Dude, let me tell you something. My Subaru, my wife's Subaru had the engine kind of seized and it was because there was an oil leak we brought it into the dealership and they gave us a quote of like eight thousand dollars

or something to rebuild the entire engine so I'm like I go give me the they had taken the engine apart to find that I go put the engine back together give me the fucking car take it home I do some research and it says this is a very common thing with this year of Subaru. And like you said, it should be a recall. So anyway, I get a call from Subaru and they go, I should play you the voice message.

The guy going, hey, by the way, as a customer appreciation thing, we'll do all that work for $800. I'm like, what? So I call the guy and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was very weird. And I got the sense that, all right, so here's how it works.

The dealership gets paid from Subaru. So they're just trying to, if they're gonna get reimbursed for this, somehow, I guess, if I had presented it right, they would have paid for it. And this guy was basically going, well, I'm gonna do it for you because we're gonna get paid the $8,000.

All right. And they did it. They rebuilt the engine. Sounds like it should've been free. But okay. Well, fuck, 800 bucks, man. And how did this person know to call you? He was the manager of the Subaru dealership and I'd complained to him about the expense.

Got it. Let's make Georgia Florida. Let's do it. All right, a Georgia man was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison after pleading guilty to planting a bomb that severely damaged a woman's home. Officials said that on January 13, an explosion extensively damaged a home in Richmond Hill.

The explosion was so powerful it blew bricks off the residence and made a two by two foot crater in the concrete driveway. Two people were inside the residence at the time, a woman and a child, and luckily they were both uninjured. Stephen Glasser, 38, and a co-conspirator Caleb Kinsey, 34, were arrested about a month later. Glasser had met the woman who lived there through a dating app, and the two had a casual relationship that had ended. According to the DA, Glasser and Kinsey plotted to create a, quote, create a plan to kill, intimid kill intimidate harass or injure the victim

listen to their plan the pair planned to acquire and shoot arrows into the woman's front door and buy and release we'd hear this one and buy and release a large python into the victim's home that would eat the victim's daughter. They also planned to mail dog feces and dead rats to her home and and including the mailed feces and male dead rats they were also going to scalp her. Whoa this is why never hook up with Comanche's on dating apps. You'll get arrows, you'll get scalped. They're really going Native American on this. Yeah. And by the way, the the rats and feces and scalp and all these details were in their guilty plea. It's like, did you have to supply that many details? Yeah, right, right. But he found the woman's residence.

Listen to this, he found the woman's residence using the internet searches on his cell phone based on an image she sent him. And the two used the material to construct. They went to Target online. They bought explosive materials to construct the bomb. And afterward, they hired a cleaning crew to hide the traces of the bomb making materials at his residence.

I mean, you can you can get somebody's photo and social media profile and find out where they live. Like, how does how do like I had Joey McIntyre on my podcast from New Kids on the Block, and we talked about, we didn't talk about, but I sort of alluded to, it must've been pretty crazy to be a teenager playing stadiums and the women and what must've gone on backstage,

and that none of that could happen today because of cell phones and the internet. And then you take it to the next level where you can't even be safe from a fucking lunatic online anymore. There's no technology that has moved so much faster than regulation in this world. I wondered for a second how they caught the guy but they probably, she probably was like, I know who did it. He's like, here, here's my phone.

It's like, a few bitch, a few bitch, a few bitch. Like, it must have been a crazy diatribe on there. Yeah, yeah, and his friend. I love that the friend is involved. He's just like, it's like Beavis in Butthead. Oh, and wait, how long has he gone? He's 20 years in federal prison. Wow.

For attempted murder of a child and a woman? And wait, how long has he gone? He's 20 years in federal prison. Wow. Have fun. For attempted murder of a child and a woman? I think a python's gonna be released into his cell, if you know what I mean. Yeah, that's right. All right, let's go to International. You got it, pal. Well, it was supposed to be an ordinary flight

for a Melbourne couple turned into a horrifying nightmare. Nightmare. You did it right. After they were forced to sit next to the lifeless body of a passenger who passed away mid-flight. They spent four hours beside the passenger's corpse. I can't believe they told us to stay. Mitch said, his wife said it was a trot it was traumatic it began when the passenger a woman whose age and identity have not been revealed suddenly collapsed in the aisle close to Mitch and Jenny's seat flight attendants quickly rushed in to attempt resuscitation but despite their efforts blah blah blah the guy died so Mitch was asked to move from his seat so the body could be placed in the chair beside him.

The, according to protocol, according to the International Air Transportation Association, passengers who pass away mid-flight should be moved to an empty row if available or returned to their assigned seat with their body respectfully covered by a blanket. How about this? How about there's a fucking bathroom right there. Are you gonna make it smell worse? Right, it can't be. Oh my god. I mean there's so many

better. How about the overhead? Everybody, you mind putting a suitcase in your lap for the next couple hours, rather than having a corpse here? Let's grab our luggage from the overhead. How about the cockpit? Yeah. They're taking naps up there? Come on.

Right, right. Oh my God. Also, I think the floor is open. I think you can technically get them down into, with the luggage. Yep, I've seen that in some terror movies. Sure, there's snakes down there, but whatever, he's dead. Wow. Wow, that is crazy.

Yeah, and that was, I guess they were overseas. The flight was going from Melbourne to Doha on Qatar Airways so that must be over a lot of water so it's not like you can turn back or emergency land you got a you got to do the full four hours that's our hours I mean for fucking hours next to a corpse, and the thing shits its pants, that's what corpses do, especially when they're sitting upright. Right?

Yeah, you lose, what is it, 28 grams of fluid also? It's right. Whoa. Whoa. All right, let's get to your big story. Oh, not a crinkle. Not a crinkle, okay, yeah, it's international, man. Man caught trying to smuggle $10,000 worth of cocaine onto a plane. Wait for it. Under his wig, the 40-year-old suspect from Pereira, which is in Colombia, was attempting to board a flight to Amsterdam when he was stopped by security

and the anti-narcotics police. Police said that the amount of cocaine the man had allegedly been trying to smuggle through the airport had been valued at more than 10,000 euro. Officers confirmed the cocaine capsules had been camouflaged in a wig sharing footage of the moment the wig was cut open to reveal the drugs before the officers tested it. So did the officers test the wig too? Like they had to put it on, see what it was all about, have a little fun?

Yeah. Put this on, see if your head starts feeling numb. Yeah, that's a brain freeze. Totally. It sounds like somebody was afraid to stick something up their ass. Isn't that the old fashioned way? I know. Of your hair?

And also, yeah. I would say the cocaine would definitely, it would smell better as you're snorting it than the one, than the eight ball that was up a guy's ass for six hours. Yeah, maybe there's a premium on it. Like you're in Amsterdam and you're like, oh yeah, this is wig coke. It's like grass-fed, grass-fed, yeah, right. It's like grass-fed veal. Yeah.

Totally. But one thing occurred to me, isn't everyone on a flight from Colombia to Amsterdam searching for drugs? Yeah, right. Has to be. Look at those two locations. By the way, $10,000 worth of Coke is not a lot of Coke to go through all that effort.

Well, how much do you think you could fit under his toupee? $10,000, a gram of Coke is 100. Because I saw it, it was more like a toupee. It wasn't like an Afro or a big set of hair. It's 100 grams. All right. I could do that up the ass without even thinking about it. Oh boy.

No matter what, it's still better looking than all the men heads on the Turkish flights coming back from their hair transplants. Yeah, right. All right, let's get down to... This day? This day, it's get down to this day. It's this day, everybody.

Here we go. All right, we're gonna find one here. Here we go. Sound of Music, a film adaptation of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical play, premiered on this day in what year, give or take, four years? All right, so obviously it's a movie about the Holocaust.

It won an Oscar, so it's very topical. All right, so the Holocaust ended in... Best picture. 1945. Real life story of the Trapp family who wound up in Vermont. It was a color movie. I'm gonna go 1962.

Oh my God, what did I give you, three years? Four years. I thought three, but it doesn't matter, 65. Nice. All right, champ. American basketball. I know how long it takes. You know, the Holocaust is at 45, and it takes you about 17 years for a script to be in turnaround in Hollywood. The other way to look at it is Holocaust happens. It only takes Hollywood, I think Hollywood 20 years to have a jaunty musical about it. And F-Troop, F-Troop came out about 10 years after that,

the slapstick comedy about a death camp with American soldiers in it. Where's our 9-11 comedies and musicals? American basketball player Will Chamberlain scored a record 100 points in an NBA game on this date. In what year? Give or take four years. I remember this comic in Boston who's like, here's my impression of anybody else on the team when he scored the 100 points. Hey, Wilt, I'm open. Wilt.

Yeah. Let's see. That was in... When did he... Wilt Chamber Let's see, that was in... When did he, Wilt Chandler. Holocaust was in 40s. 40, 45, I'm gonna say 67. Oh, I love it, you missed it by one year, 1962. Oh, shit, all right. The landmark monster movie, King Kong,

had its world premiere on this date in what year, give or take eight years. It had pioneering special effects by Willis O'Brien, where remember the hair was always moving? Because it was stop animation. And so they would be, they'd have to handle it and move its arm and move its arm and so its its fur was always moving. Was it a talkie? And it was the first significant feature film to star an animated character. Oh all right so I'm thinking

I'm thinking, the Holocaust was 45. I'm gonna say 1940. What did I give you? 20 years? 20 years, 1933. Yeah, I think you gave me eight years. Oh boy, I should listen to how many years. I just didn't think you'd get it right. You give me a lot of information.

You're being generous this week. Dr. Seuss wrote and illustrated, you know, all the, how the Grinch stole Christmas green eggs and ham, all that stuff. He was born, Dr. Seuss, on this day, in what year, give or take 10 years. Oh, 10 years, Jesus Christ. It's Dr. Seuss.

All right, the Holocaust is 45. His name is Theodore Geisel. Dr. Seuss, I know he lived in San Diego because if you ever drive through San Diego or that area, you will be dumbstruck at the plants and the trees that you see that look like they're straight off the pages of a Dr. Seuss book. He basically, you know all those like skinny palm trees with exploding orange flowers on the top and all that? It's all from San Diego. It's amazing. So let me see. So he

was around, let's say his prime was in the 1950s so he must have been born in I'll say 1900 you bastard 1904 get out of here Jesus I'm on fire today here's a bonus how did he and his family pronounce their last name? Suez? Suez? Nope. Seuss. Were they German?

Seuss is how people pronounce it. Seuss is the pronunciation used by his family. He's an American author, so American. How did they pronounce soy sauce? Is it saying there? Get this. Geisel, which is his real last name, used the pen name Dr. Seuss for his entire career.

He added doctor in the late 20s because his father wanted him to study medicine. Well, I could do that too, huh? Well, so did Dr. J's father. Zeuss was his mother's maiden name. It's a well-known German bakery family. family. Top five doctors who were not doctors. Dr. J, Dr. Dre, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Phil, Dr. John. Dr. Death, Joseph Mangala. He was a doctor though. I think he was quite accomplished actually. Oh yeah, all about life and death. All right. You did well. I did very well this week, so we're gonna skip the obituaries because we've already dealt with I mean it's so sad because he was so old and he maybe did die gracefully I mean shit getting gassed is probably pretty quick and painless you know I wonder if they call it the mud room before he died that's terrible yeah Gene Hackman I mean

just see his movies. You know, we have a friend who is the first assistant director on almost on a lot of David Mamet's movies. She's always the first one he asks. And she said that Gene Hackman was the only actor she saw intimidate David Mamet. No kidding. Yep. Wow. And he was you know, he was roommates

with Dustin Hoffman in New York when they were both unemployed actors. And they made money moving furniture for a moving company. And I have a feeling that she had been carried about 75 percent of the sofas if he was paired up with Dustin Hoffman. Yeah, I think Dustin Hoffman was on the sofa when he was moving it. Right, Dustin, why don't you take the upstairs side of the sofa again? That's hilarious.

Yeah. All right, let's cheer up and go to the funnies. You got it all right last week as you know week after week we play the comic caption contest not spelled with K's by the way and you I give you one frame of a comic and you are listeners with all your endless talent give us punch lines many of which are fantastic some are a little odd we pick a handful we read them and then we pick a winner what is it what does the

winner get this week Mike I've got a koozie all right that will be sent to you if you want to buy one it's ten bucks all in with shipping otherwise you got to write a funny joke this week's gonna get a bunch out you got to send me the addresses. I don't think you sent me the address from last week. Oh, shit. No, they have to write in to me. I don't go to them.

If you hear that you want- Good, I haven't said a koozie in a month, so let's do it. Okay. Last week's comic was a young girl. I don't know if it's young. She's a girl. She's about 10.

11. Will you just say it's a Girl Scout stand right outside a pot dispensary in a long line coming out from the pot dispensary buying cookies? Jana Pouge says you got to be high to pay seven dollars per box of Girl Scout cookies? I think she said in a fun way because look at her face she's kind of smiling and I think she's high. I like that one a lot. Yeah that's very good. Phil McCracken. What? I have to shove both these bricks up my ass now? And then he adds the line being a mule is getting tougher every day. Here's the thing guys brevity is the soul of wit. Pick just you always look if you can trim something. You can't have a less funny joke after a funny joke. Yep.

Tanya Maltese says, ready to level up, cocaine and hookers. That's the offer to the Girl Scout? I don't know. All right. Mary Cone said, this little bitch is gonna give me diabetes. You don't need the dispensary for that joke.

Nope. Brian Walker says, Suzy's sweet smile belied the buckets of blood shed to earn this most coveted of corners. I like that. Yeah, it's a bit well written, sure. I don't know how funny it is. Zach from Yuma says, thanks for the $30 thin thin mints you filthy price gouging cunt well there it is I mean that's just that's that's like yeah it's just rude John Heilman said you all better stock up before RFK makes this shitty legal doesn't okay maybe it is the pot shop also. Is he anti pot do you think? I don't know he's a former drug addict. Oh right right. Hopefully former. Dave from Escondido

where I'll be performing soon said unconventional experiment suggests decimated libido in stoners decreases likelihood of diddling children." That's a real spacey one. It's a mouthful. Yeah, it's a lot. Brian Reed said, when a stoppable force meets a movable object. I don't know if I understand it.

I do not understand it. I only put it in because I thought maybe you could shed some light on what that means. Lane said, you're right I should chill the fuck out and have a cookie. Kind of like the attitude but I don't think anything beat Jana. Is that her name out of the gate? Jana Pouge. You got to be high to pay seven dollars per box of Girl Scout cookies? Very simple. I think the read is you ought to be high to pay $7 per box of Girl Scout cookies? Very simple. I think the read is, you gotta be high to pay $7 per box of Girl Scout cookies, like, and she's buying it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. Oh, Pouge, it sounds Canadian. I hope you're not in Canada, Jenna. Honorable mention to Brian Walker, because I do like the idea that she shed blood to get this corner. So next week's caption is they're in court. It says US justice. The judge has his

head leaning on his hand, elbow on the desk. He looks exhausted, bored, and now the deputy is swearing somebody in. I can't tell. Is that a man or a woman being sworn in? That looks like a dude. I mean, you're kind of right. It looks like a dude, androgynously hippie looking, long haired dude being sworn in. He's got his hand up. He's the one speaking to the deputy. Is he is he saying the oath of office and not the oath of is he saying the oath of office not the oath of eyes. He's saying the You know the oath Yeah, and his hands not on a Bible

No, yeah All right, let's Why don't you start this week with your new comic? It's very exciting Mike has finished 15 weeks of Dilbert, of which how many would you say were funny? Zero. So I looked up, by the way, what did I look up? Which comic strip is the absolute it's a it's I think it's a it's a reddit chain which comic strip is the absolute worst so People here I particularly hate Family Circus because one it isn't funny does no plot It isn't drawn well it features only recycled material drawn differently the same four themes over and over

Anyway, there's funny things in here then you're not gonna like this first one This guy goes which comic strip is the absolute worst. Here's the list peanuts Parentheses don't kick the football Charlie Brown. Oh Don't kick the football Charlie Brown. Oh, he missed it. How funny Garfield used to be funny back in 83 leave the table and eat your food Marmaduke the dog is big. The dog is big. Funny.

Kathy, Kathy, ah! I have to lose five pounds. Wait, was there supposed to be a punchline? Curtis, token minority strip with appallingly bad writing. Family circus. It goes C rant below. Beetle Bailey, look, incompetent people in the 50s,

US Army, how funny. Mallard Fillmore, right wing BS, where's the humor? Doonesbury, left wing BS, where's the humor? Rose is Rose, is boring, what the heck kind of name is Pasquale Gumbo? Heathcliff, the Garfield clone. Ziggy, like Charlie Brown, can't ever win gotcha so anyway I'm going with Doonesbury. I'll tell you right now I grew up reading Doonesbury in the newspaper

every day it was uh it I I have to I'm in protest a little bit about you reading this strip because it is I'm going into it I'm going into it open-minded all right but it's serial I don't know that they always stand alone they you know it was a it was daily and um it was very satirical it was very uh current I don't know if some of it's gonna gonna feel dated but I think Doonesbury is genius I got a true dough. I got from the same list as Dilbert. It's screen rant. I believe I just googled best Dilbert's ever. Okay. All right, so we're starting again We're starting with number 10, but that's the top of the article. So I am assuming this is a countdown So don't worry Greg. All right Greg they say this is in the top 10 but it's the

bottom of the top 10 in terms of funny there was also a super hot chick in it in Dunesbury yeah okay do you know any of the names of these people they'll come back to me yeah I'll remember so the one guy it's like a press conference and there's one guy at the podium and another guy sitting next to him at the dais Guy at the podium goes. Okay before we vote on the resolution are there questions? Yes, you and then a guy in the audience off screen goes. My question is to mr. Amen Sir, would you agree this whole conference is pointless? And the guy sitting at the dais is Mr. Amen and he goes, you bet, baby, this whole conference stinks of complacency and ineffectuality. There's nothing here, no substance, no fire. The conference is a

farce, an obscene joke. The third frame, the guy at the lectern is just staring at Mr. what is his amen. And it's silent. There's no words. And the fourth and final frame, the guy turns back to the microphone at the lectern and goes, okay, let's just move along now to the vote now. Just move along to the vote now. But we don't know who Mr. Amen is, that's my point. There's backstory here. It would be like

watching one joke in a sitcom you've never seen and the jokes in the middle of season four episode nine. I don't know what Screen Rant's doing though. I mean they put this in here. I mean, listen, it wasn't bad. This wasn't Dilbert bad. Yeah, yeah. At least the writing is good. There's some attitude. There's character development.

Okay. I like the look. I like the look. Yeah. All right. We'll keep an open mind. We'll keep exploring. And Hager, who is, lucky is his friend. and he's saying to himself lucky Eddie you look ready for a night of socializing oh no he's talking to himself you look ready for a night of socializing and drinking and then he says who am I

kidding I'm lousy at socializing now he's sitting at a bar with a woman a maiden and Hager the maiden says I was born 28 years ago in London. After graduating from school, I moved to Madrid. I think she was moved. Yes. I decided to switch colleges when I was bound and gagged in the back of a maniac's wagon. Five years after that, I took a job in Paris. Three years later, I relocated to Dublin, and now I live here. And then Lucky goes, where have you been all my life? And Hager goes, you'll get used to it, to the woman.

Now I think that is the joke. Like a woman back then, first of all, school. What school were you I hopefully was a martial arts school because that's what you need in the medieval times when you're a beautiful woman it was not school of self-defense I'll tell you that no she was captured on many raids and moved around the world right all right and now the lock horns Loretta's Loretta's looking at a bill and she says to Leroy, the IRS wants to see Y-O-U. Nice. And then there's another one where

he's got his arms around her. She's looking downtrodden and he says, don't feel bad Loretta I thought you could change me too all right it's not bad yeah all right now here it is I do like that one blondie and I you know there's not even a real reason to put this one in because it's visual if you could just see the first frame of blondie in bed with this guy and he's got the covers pulled over his crotch and it's flat. There's nothing and she goes admit it I was wrong you were wrong. She is wearing a blue gray negligee with frilly shoulder straps that are hanging over her arm, huge bosoms.

She's leaning towards him and she admitted I was wrong and I was right and you were wrong. He goes, I think you got that backwards. She goes, okay, you were wrong and I was right. And then he looks at the camera and I just think to myself, what are you arguing about? She says, I, you were wrong. Yeah, I was wrong, sweetie. Let's make up. Yeah. Let's have some makeup sex. Yeah, I think you've got that backwards. Let's do Yeah, turn, turn around. I think you're I was it you that said you think maybe he's just an eight year old boy trapped in a man's body. I think somebody wrote that in.

And look at his face in that final, is that a man or is that a child? Well, we know it's not a man. Yeah. And then she just- That's not a man, baby. She just rolls over with her back to him and just one tear comes out of the corner of her eye. Although she can roll over in any position,

it's not desirable. Yep. She's presenting. If that was me, I'd be like, Oh, she's presenting. Your favorite word. All right. The word that comes to your mind, the word that's used constantly in nature documentaries and for you blondie. Well, listen everybody, watch the Oscars tonight. Let us know how we did since we didn't write it down. And I hope you have a fun Oscar party. It's a big deal in LA. People really do have parties and they get into it and they have pools and they bet.

But you know, I don't know that people in Milwaukee or Charlotte, North Carolina get into the Oscars. I don't know, do they? No, of course they do, but not this year. Now. Trust me. I worked on the Golden Globes. And one thing we, I went back, I watched all the Golden Globes from the last like 10 years.

And there were some years where they were layups for the host because it was the Irishman and then there was Spielberg's movie and it was no country like I mean it was just also huge movies that everyone had seen. And Avatar like you know whatever and then there were years where it was the Pickens were a little slimmer and And what they did just instinctually is they would talk about the stars. A great example that I brought up to the room was

the movie Osage County, which had Meryl Streep, and I forget, but no one saw it. So what they did is they talked about Meryl Streep. They didn't talk about the movie. Right, right. it. So what they did is they talked about Meryl Streep. They didn't talk about the movie. And this year, we couldn't talk about any of the movies except Wicked. How do you feel about Conan as the host? I'll tell you what I think. I'm excited.

I think that the great hosts, Johnny Carson was apparently the best ever, Billy Crystal was a great host. I think they're the ones that respect the industry enough that they can poke fun at it without seeming like an outsider shitting on them. And I feel like Conan can only be Conan. I don't know that he's inside show business. I don't think he ever let himself be inside show business. I think he always portrayed himself as the outsider and I don't know that his jokes can't be about himself

on some level and get out of the way and be the kind of... Now this is not knocking Conan. I think Conan is amazing. Yeah, I think he's a once in a generation comedy mind. I just don't know that he's right for this job. I know about five or six of the writers, you know, some two. And but I've worked with at least six and it's a strong room. Yeah. Oh, I'm sure it is. He's got always Laurie Kilmartin writing on it?

I saw her last night. She's amazing. She was his- Oh, she's amazing. I don't even know if, I hope she's in there. Probably Brian Kiley. But I mean, just from Sweeney on down and O'Brien and- Yeah.

Anyway, there's real monsters in here. No, the material is gonna be A plus. I'm not disputing that. I'm just talking about whether he'll connect as a guy that brings the evening together and makes it a real show. Yeah, I think Conan leans into his self-deprecating and the kind of desperate and identifies,

as you just put it very well, as this outsider. Like, his podcast is literally called Conan Needs a Friend. And it's almost like, why aren't we friends? Like you go hiking, why don't I? And I don't know, like yeah, there has to be some semblance of owning the role a little bit. The people want to see that, they want to know they're in good hands.

There needs to be a little bit of sincerity and- Which he can do, by the way the way but yeah hopefully he does it. All right we'll see we'll update you next week. Thank you guys for watching, for listening. Don't forget to like the show on YouTube and Instagram, watch our clips, support the show, tell a friend, and thanks for hanging out with us. Take it ish! Take it ish Take it each. Bye-bye.

Read all about it. Read all about it. We need some songs. Punk rock. Hey now. Sunday papers. We need some songs. Punk rock.

Hey now. Sunday papers. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast.

I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. I picked a pretty large book from my nose during this podcast. Rocks, punk rock, pay now, Sunday papers. I picked a pretty large booger for my nose during this podcast. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, whatever, whatever. I mean, you know, yeah, whatever. So I'm like, yeah, whatever, I'll take it,

I'll take it, I don't care. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, whatever. Read all about it. Read all about it. Get in that ass, whatever. Read all about it. Read all about it. Get in that ass, backward. Get in that ass, because you know she cleans it every morning. She gets in there with soap. She gets a finger in the hole with the soap.

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