Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 284 10/12/25

Episode Date: October 12, 2025

Sunday Papers is asked to record from Riyadh, Bad Bunny under fire, ICE agents shoot a priest, and a FLA Man keeps his threes in a very warm place. Visit RocketRX now and use code PAPERS30 for 30% off your first order -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://rebrand.ly/30a009⁠⁠⁠ Watch Greg’s latest special, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest” Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Find Mike on Venmo here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTime⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmons⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Here we go. We got some politics in this edition, but we got a lot of. lot of fun stuff fun let's keep it fun let's keep it fun let's keep it light you know who knows maybe people come to this podcast to get a little respite i hate people say respite i think you probably hate when you say respite right do i say it well who else does people from like the midwest oh boy yep all right so i got my shingle shot couple days ago all right i here's the thing some people are anti-vax i am a passionate pro vaxer give me every fucking shot you got i took the flu shot with my shingle shot and then i'm going back

for covid next week and then i'm getting the mrv whatever there's another one i'm getting i don't even know what that one is all of me which shingle shot was it there's two you know well you have to get two I got the first one. Oh, okay. First one, I didn't feel anything. In fact, I didn't even remember it. Yeah, I didn't feel anything. A year later, a year later at my checkup, I guess, he's like, oh, yeah, you do for your second.

I'm like, all right, whatever. And I think I probably got a flu shot at the same time. So didn't think anything about it. That night, shivering so hard in bed. And I was like, what is? I totally didn't put it together until the next day. I'm like, what the hell is going? on. I was so cold that I couldn't walk 10 feet to get a hoodie. Like I'm like, uh-uh.

Like I was just under, you know, where you pull the covers over and you're breathing to warm up your little cocoon. Yeah. That's what I was doing. So, uh, and I woke up and was fine within like an hour. It was like a 12 hour thing. Yeah, Aaron was lay sprawled out on the bathroom floor because of the cool tiles she was so heated up from it kind of like when she acts up and you have to put her in her place just bleeding a little well because you don't want it on the carpets you know and because it's easier for her to clean up when it's on the tiles yeah yeah um no it is funny that i'm like oh i'm pro vex and then we both describe how

fucking destroy how much it destroys your body but not like shingles my friend jeff his wife has shingles right now. He's supposed to be on that golf trip with Malloy right now. You know, they're in Utah. There's like 10 of them. No, I know. Yeah, yeah. I heard about this. Inner eye or something? Yeah, eye, mouth. And you can lose your vision. You can literally go blind

from shingles. And it's incredibly painful. They said it's, it makes childbirth seem like a one hour massage. I don't know how the hell Jeff can possibly stay there and pass. up a golf trip when she's in such pain.

I know. Jesus. I know a few people that have gotten shingles. It's really, I would say if there's one vaccination you want to get, it's shingles. But I think it's over the age of 50. This mic is not working out. So I got mine a little early. What do you mean you got yours a little early?

All right. All right. So maybe I didn't. Okay. Ran around last night. did four shows, did one of them at a early show at a country club, the fanciest country club in L.A. They had me come in and... Man of the people.

Well, here's the thing. You go do a show at a country club. When I do stand-up comedy, it's implicit that I am the alpha in the room while I have the microphone. And now you go and you tell jokes to a bunch of billionaires and they're sitting there in their golf you know they're expensive golf sweaters and they've got the the loafers with the tassels and and they just they're not seating in their country club they're not giving up the power for a no no of course not you're not even they could have you kicked out in any second and i walk in and i've got on my little cap and uh and then immediately like the matron d runs over he's like sir you have to take your hat off i said why do i have to take my hat

off. He's like, there's no hats in the clubhouse. Oh, God. And this is the guy, and I've played at these courses, they don't let you, you have to tuck your golf shirt in while you're playing. And then I was on my cell phone in the back. And the same guy comes over, he goes, sir, you cannot, you cannot have a cell phone. I go, you can't look at your cell phone in the entire clubhouse? Not a chance, not in Florida, not in my dad's clubs. And I just thought to myself, here's these guys. who are the titans of industry they had their entrepreneurial or they inherited a lot of money probably half and half and but here they are they're in a position where life is their oyster they can do whatever the fuck they want and then they go and they spend a hundred grand a year

to go to a place where they tell them not to do this and not to do that it's like it's like sadomasochism yeah no i know i think a lot of And they don't want to see the news, right? A lot of these period in the club, like, it's like, ah, it's a bad reminder that, oh, we're doing evil. Yeah. Well, these guys were, they were very nice guys. Everybody was very polite. And I bombed, but I made a tremendous amount of money.

And they kept cutting my time down because the guy who went on ahead of me was not doing well. And so I only had to do like 10 minutes. And they gave me an envelope stuffed with cash on the, the way out and I was and I got a nice steak look at you yeah it was good it's kind of like going it's it's a little similar to going to Saudi Arabia to do a show good for you Greg I was hanging out I was hanging out with spade last night at the at the at the store and we're talking about all the the comics I go did you get an offer to do Riyadh and um I can't I think he turned it down or And I was like, what about like Pete Davidson, whose father died in 9-11?

And he goes, he goes, well, you don't know. Maybe this was like a John Wick situation, you know, where he gets on stage. That's a good explanation. He's so goddamn funny. I mean, we're just staying in the back hallway. It was like me, him, and Dan Levy, I think you know, right? Did he write for you at one point? I'm trying to remember on the Globes, maybe.

I don't know. but like you know a bunch of really funny people Ian Edwards and I swear to you everybody talks about that group of guys you know Sandler and Norm and Nealyn and Schneider and what it must be like to hang out with them because they're all so funny and they really are like

they are like really fucking generationally funny I mean like hands like guys that riff I mean and I've always said Spade is the funniest one Spade is the fast I remember talking to Norm about that because he was in that group and it's like Spade is the fast he's just so fast yeah yeah he really is agile it's great right um what was I thinking uh yeah it seems like a bunch of the comics are in a way doubling down instead of maybe being open a little more to that it's uh not a slam dunk that it's a obviously is packed with divisive issues. So that's disappointing, I guess. Well, I don't know.

We went through this last week, and I do see, I do see that there is, I mean, I see it both ways. I really do. How do you see it? How do you see it as a positive? Well, I mean, if you take a society that's closed and closed off to any other ideas, And then you go, well, I'm not going to play there with my new different ideas. That doesn't further opening up a dialogue in that country. So I do think there's an argument that you're going in there and shaking it up a little bit.

Well, I mean, a lot of them are already, you know, multi, multi, multi millionaires and all that. It's like, well, then try to organize your own comedy festival over there. That's not run by the oppressor. No, that's true. The government paying for it makes it more suss. I mean, well, that's the whole thing. What do you, that's the issue. Yeah.

You know, this week, I remember thinking it's not a perfect analogy, but it's like early 60s Dylan. So what was Bill of Rights, like 63 or 4 or whatever? So like, let's say it's 62. It doesn't even matter the dates, but it's a year or two before it. Where the South still has forms of slavery going on and oppression. And they're like, hey, Bob Dylan with all your freedom songs. come on down here and play and Dylan's like oh what's it all about it's like well the plantation

the whites on the plantation who still are using the black labor and it often still free you can look it up no no no it's more than that and you can look it up that there was still forms of slavery into the very early 60s. Anyway, let's just make it a hypothetical then. But, yeah, the slave owners or the former slave owners and the plantation owners, yeah, they're putting it on. They're going to pay you. There's no world where Bob Dylan does that.

There's no world. And by the way, I'm not even putting limitations on them. Let's say they go, hey, you can talk about anything you want. There's no world. Now they say, oh, by the way, you can't. talk about us, and you kind of can't talk about the situation here, the most repressive situation, which in the Middle East is the religious, their religion. I don't know. As somebody that plays the Deep South and plays some very conservative Midwestern cities, I don't pull my punches.

Like, I go down there. I have jokes blasting Obama, and I do them. I don't, you know, and I get paid by a city that, I mean, I'm going to Lafayette, Louisiana. No, I know, but you know what I'm saying. I'm talking about when oppression is really, like, outrageous. Like I'm talking about 1961, Alabama. And I'm talking about the Middle East now. I don't know. To my mind, there's no defending it.

All right. Mike Gibbons is on record. It's indefensible. Yeah, it is. What else? How was golf yesterday? I couldn't play because we played paddle tennis the day before. and my knee, I'm getting surgery on my knee in a month

and I fucking blew it out. I literally am hobbling slowly. And I had to go around last night and do four shows, get in and out of my Mustang, which is three inches off the ground, eight times last night. Old man Mustang. Oh, no.

But how was golf? Golf is fine and all that. Wait, let's talk a minute about, so last week I talked about this weird sensation in my body where I felt hope and I hadn't felt it in so long and it was because of these two working class candidates one in Maine, Graham Platner, please look him up and then another guy in Kentucky and I didn't name the guy in Kentucky but I told you how moved I was and I described him that he was dirt poor living out with his mom they lived out of a van at one point his childhood. Somehow this guy puts himself through college and then law school and then

becomes secret service for two presidents, a Republican and a Democrat. Anyway, this guy, and I said I would talk about him, Logan Forsyth, is in Pennsylvania and all of a sudden you forward me this good afternoon, an email to you. Yeah. From him, not his campaign. Good afternoon. My name is Logan Forsyth, and I was briefly mentioned on Sunday Papers episode 283.

I'm the former Secret Service agent who was running as a Democrat from Mitch McConnell's Senate seat in Kentucky. I want to reach out and say thanks for the mention on the episode. A good friend of mine listens to every episode. You might want to drop that friend. That's not going to help you in the election. And he sent me the link to it as soon as he heard it. I've historically been a much more private person than I am now with my candidacy,

and all of this feels surreal, especially being talked about by established people in any industry. He called us established, Greg. Yeah. Shouldn't you be reading this with a thick redneck accent, by the way? No, man, Pennsylvania. I can't do that accent, nor do I want to. I thought he was Kentucky. He's running in Kentucky, yeah.

Sorry, dude, I'm messing it up. It's Kentucky. You know what? I conflated, some of the consultants from Pennsylvania that put, I forget the working class guy who's been a little disappointing from Pennsylvania. They're up in Maine helping him. Sorry, I can flit all. No, restart. Man, Logan Forsyth, Kentucky. So no, yeah, I should maybe do a southern accent. But he doesn't have a strong one. I've seen, I've seen, I've gone on his website and seen it. So anyway, I then write back and I'm like, listen.

and we're here if you want to run stuff by us. Greg and I have punched up speeches and all this. I then even mocked up a T-shirt that he should have with his silhouette of a Secret Service guy saying protecting Americans since 2005. I think that's pretty good. He wrote back, I won't say them out loud because they're not public yet, he wrote back that he has some funny ones in the work.

So he seems like he has a good sense of humor as well. Yeah, I wrote some jokes for Obama way back when. It was a writer's room that he formed with Judd Apatow and a few other people, and we wrote for a couple days. Wow. And it was fun. Yeah. I think my joke put him over the top, the one about two Jews walk into a bar, which doesn't sound like... Doesn't sound like Obama, but yeah.

No, but he fucking killed. It's just about killing. It's not about your point of view. It's about getting the laughs. That's what we can tell this guy. We're going to bring the house down. I have a plaque here from thanking me that when Obama did between two ferns, which I wrote on, that it was the single largest day of sign up for Obamacare was the following day after the...

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. And I literally have a plaque. It's over in the kitchen. But I wish I had written, and I think he got some help as well. but I wish I had written the joke, which now is way less funny. But, boy, was it funny then, which was when Zach goes to him, how does it feel to be the last black president?

Yeah. But Obama approved that joke. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. He took a look, and I don't think he cut a single one out. All right, our logo this week comes from... So anyway, support Logan Forsyth or at least go check them out. How about that?

Go check out Logan Forsyth. I think it will appeal to even the right-wing listeners of ours right now. Go just check it out and see if you're agreeing with a lot of the talking points. I think you might. Jeremy Thrushman did our logo this week. I just texted it to you, Mike because it didn't show up in the dock. Oh, I listen to the song

though. Oh, the song we didn't mention because we do the logo first, then we do the song. But the logo, do you see it? It's referencing my arrest in Alaska last weekend. Look at you. Drugs in a bag. Yep. And you're a little foolish. You wrote,

you labeled the bag drugs. Yeah. Looking back, I think that tipped them off. We got a letter from Rob who said, Greg, the logo in the lower corner of today's episode is a watermark showing that Google Gemini created this art. I had Gemini create similar art with zero effect,

just to demonstrate it has the same watermark in the corner. Maybe on the show you should ask people not to share AI art and music if you want real art and music from humans. I love the show, but as someone who has submitted songs, you've played them all, and who thinks about submitting art. discouraging when seemingly obvious AI art and music is used on the show, which leads us to today's song by Blake Levon,

which as much as it's great, I think it's got to be AI. And we have to, with all due respect and all appreciation to what you guys do, let's try to keep it organic. Why can't people use AI? Nah, because you're the one that always likes the song,

that are really from the heart, that is just like one guy in an acoustic guitar. I do, but maybe they can, all right, well, maybe they could use it as a helper, kind of like we do with writing sometimes. But, yeah, I don't know.

This one sounded like it was in a Wes and. It could have been in a Wes Anderson film. It was very precious. Yeah. And there was a lot of harmonies and there was a lot of orchestrations that seemed like they wouldn't happen in someone's garage.

Anyway, again, we appreciate everything you send us and please continue to, but we're going to try to lay off anything AI because I think it's a disservice to the people that spend a lot of their time pouring out their creativity into stuff and sending it in. All right, have you seen the AI explosion

with, what is it, SORA? Whatever the new video AI that's been released this week? Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, did you see JFK in Dallas saying, no, the bullet that shot me was from over there? Oh, really? Oh, yeah. And he's 10.

telling you where the bullet came from. Oh, my God. Oh, and then there's one where he's in the car, and you see him, and he's eating a burger. He's like, oh, man, I got ketchup on my shirt. Yeah. And then Tom O'Neill sends us his baby picture as a video. Did you watch that? No, what did it do?

I saw it. I didn't press play. Tom manages, Tom O'Neill manages to make everything creepy in his pictures and videos. Not to mention that he sends videos to our, there's 50 people in our group email and he'll send himself on a night out urinating, you know, from his perspective into different places. Not anymore. Have you heard that, well, we're letting the cat out of the bag here. He might be taking a form of a Zempic and it, he's, he's very disappointed that he can't drink as much. I know. He feels like he's letting himself. down you'll be out with him and be like I just he's like I can't do it

I can't drink anymore I just don't want to I knew something was up when I pulled into the parking lot behind where this podcast used to happen at the Santa Monica airport building is still up there's my mom's car my mom's

old Camry beat to shit and I knew it was Tom and the reason is because now he drinks he drinks so little, he is now driving. Oh, that's a bad sign. Yeah.

So, corrections this week. This comes from Jack Herman. Wrong to say Paul Simon was criticized for playing in Sun City. I think this is what you had in mind. This is when the PRs must have become worried for the question, gradually switched from all the flattering to the political. The album, which we're talking about, Grace Land was naturally well-received.

After all, it was a brave new departure by a best-selling singer's song. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's cut down. Anyway, South Africa was still a white run, apartheid state, and many other Western musicians were playing an active role in trying to bring the system to an end.

But Neil Simon, Woody Allen, yeah, anyway, the point is he made the album using South African musicians, and he recorded it somewhat in South Africa, but I don't think he played Sun City. Right. Queen did. He also said Neil Simon, not Woody Allen, did Brighton Beach memoirs.

Perhaps you were thinking of radio days, Jack Herman. Yes, that's exactly right, Jack. And I corrected. Someone brought that up on YouTube, and I mentioned I go, you were probably thinking of radio days. Yep, that's the fact, Jack, Herman. was in Brighton Beach. Yes, which is where my wife's father grew up.

As a matter of fact, my wife's father was friends with Woody Allen. He used to run around with Woody Allen, his whole childhood. Wow. In Brighton Beach. Which is still a very Ukrainian neighborhood if you go there. Speaking of movies, we'll just do it right here. I want to do it before we do the next correction. So we both saw one battle after another this week.

Yes. did and it's a it's a gut punch you know it's like you you read a lot about you know these immigrant detention camps but this showed one and it's chain link fences and you know it's like this isn't out of some writer's mind they clearly went and looked and i hadn't seen much footage i don't know that you can get much footage of these detention camps but you know it's just inhumane they look like if you saw dogs at a shelter housed like this you would be upset and these are children and and then you see this these fucking agro former varsity football players from high school that are now bouncers and now they've got guns and uniforms and masks on and it's all very

present because this movie is based on a book that was written by uh thomas pinchaun like 30 years ago, if not more. Well, did you enjoy the movie? Very much. You enjoyed the gut punch? Well, I felt like good art does that to you, you know? And I feel like Paul Thomas Anderson makes art. You know, he makes movies that are upsetting, that are uncomfortable.

But the execution is so good and the writing is so good. good that at the end of the movie it's like i think somebody on our text chain might have been you was like i need to take the rest of the night off and think about what i just saw no that wasn't me yeah uh i liked it i mean it could have been a little shorter all of his movies can uh but it's one of those uh like when i saw once upon a time in hollywood i knew i'd see it again you know and i wanted to it had so many scenes that you just so enjoy you're like oh i'm watching that again and i had none of those feelings with this movie i'm not saying it was bad at all it's it's incredible filmmaking sean pan is incredible

is incredible really everyone's incredible yeah i thought i thought leo oddly was sort of similar to his character in once upon a time in hollywood the the beating himself up seeing where he's alone, there's a lot of those. Now, I love Leo, but I don't think he's in the conversation when you talk about the greats that have, you know, dominated cinema over the last 15 years. You know, I think he's really great. I think he's prolific. But I don't think he has a ton of range.

I feel like I see, I'm starting to see his bag of tricks more and more. And I wasn't blown away by him in this movie. Well, I think he does have a lot of range, but, man, he, I'm surprised he didn't flag, like, okay, so just to be clear, I'm going to be alone beating myself up for drinking and becoming kind of lazy and forgetting lines. Yeah. That's, he was, he forgot this password and he's like, come on, man. Yeah, yeah. And, like, that is exactly his. solo alone tantrum in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

And of course you could point out like subtle differences and it is a different character. Don't get me wrong. But there's a lot of overlap there and it's like that's not helping like now I can understand why you're saying you're doubting his range. Yeah. I shouldn't say that he does have range. I guess it's more that like you said, I've seen I've seen certain bits played out before that he's done. His ultra-hysterics are too much sometimes.

And how about the SNL writer who's one of the, what's his name, Norm's writing pal on all the OJ jokes? Frank Sebastian. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. At SNL. I'm looking him up now. Anyway, he played one of the racists. Jim Downey. No, really? When I sat in the theater, Jesus Christ, that's Jim Downey. Yeah, who I chatted with in Norm's Memorial. Oh, my God, that's wild. He's one of the funniest human beings on the planet. He's the guy, well, we don't want to spoil anything,

but he walks, just so you know which one I'm talking about, he walks Sean Penn to his office at one point, yeah. All right, so we don't want to dwell too much. We're talking about this movie because it's an important movie to see, and I highly recommend it. Oh, definitely. go see it. And man, that highway scene was so, it really reminded me of Hitchcock. It really reminded me like a rear window effect of what you're watching. Oh, that was amazing. Yeah, great

cinematography. This comes from James Palmer in the UK. He says, you said Goldilocks instead of Rapunzel. I got this message from about 15 people when talking about that Harriton, which Megal Markle. You are a lovable tit biscuit. Well, thank you, James. What's Harriton? I I don't know. Ryan in Chicago said, you made the same mistake again. He said you wouldn't talk about the backstreet boys

because you're friends with one of them. You're actually not. Once again, Joey McIntyre is a member of New Kids on the Block who debuted a decade before Backstreet Boys. I got to get in touch with him. I need to reach out to him because I'm really,

I just, it's, I love him. think he's a really one of the most charming, interesting, great guys. I just don't, that's not my music. I didn't listen to it back then. I don't listen to it now. I'm not saying it's not good music. It's just, I was a classic rock guy. That's all I've ever listened to.

I don't think you have to apologize. I think he could be friends with you and not be interested at all and listening to this gibberish on our podcast. His brother, I think, does, though. So it's all getting back to him. Also, you. You and Mike use the term transvestite when talking about trans people or drag people. This term is considered outdated and offensive, as is transsexual.

Well, maybe that's because we're retarded. Dan says at the top of this week's show, Greg started by talking about how you're losing money on this show. And then in the same breath said, an Alaskan family of four, getting their $3,000 per person subsidy. would make $20,000 a year. I guess it's 12. Fitzmath. Okay. Speaking of me making money,

I'm going to be in Vegas this coming week at Brad Garrett's Club October at 13 through 19. Big Benefit Show in L.A. at the Comedy Store. I've done this every year for about 12 years. Best Buddies is a group that's close to my heart. It's for people with intellectual disabilities, Mike. and we'll be at the comedy store October 30th it's going to be Andrew Santino

it's going to be Craig Robinson it's going to be Annie Letterman Ron Funches Mike Gibbon's going to do a short set It's unbelievable All right And who's the audience man All right now I'm nervous

What do I have to start writing? It's always a very cool audience Everybody killed I'm not asking that Are any of the kids Are any of the people Are any of the buddies I always say kids. Who said they're kids? They're adults that have that have disabilities. Everybody always looks at them as children. Easy kid. But I changed it to buddies. Are any of the buddies in there?

One of the buddies is a guy that I've mentored for for a lot of years. And he does the show every year. And he is, he has autism. Oh, Santino? And he does a set on the show. And I'm telling you, you've seen it. right? I don't think so. He does great. He does great. It's very, it's very inspirational. But otherwise, everybody else is not disabled. Challenged. We're going to be at the Den Theater on November 8th in Chicago. This date just announced Appleton, Wisconsin one night at the skyline, November 9th, Lafayette on November 12th, New Orleans Skank Fest, November 14th through 19. Phoenix, this just

announced the Desert Ridge Improv November 28th through 30 San Francisco Punchline December 11 through 13 go to Fitzdog.com get some tickets come out and see some live comedy Mike do we have something to crinkle oh man I got paper right here let's go to the front page okay sometimes I feel like Joe Buck when I get a little too smooth with my broadcasting like that I wouldn't worry about it all right I wouldn't worry too much about being mistaken as like too professional. I wouldn't worry at all.

All right. This first story is about the halftime show, which involves Charlie Kirk. Before we start, though, I will say this week, you know I'm not a conspiracy theorist. No, not at all. I mean, I like entertaining. I like entertaining things. You know, I like when it's a good story. I like entertaining things.

But here, I think I speak for most of our listeners when I'm like, you know what, just shut everybody up with this Charlie Kirk thing and like find the bullet, I guess. And then and then connect some of the dots, will you? Because you even have me like so much of it doesn't add up. No bullet. You've renovated the crime scene. The Dairy Queen that had a timestamp of the alleged killer is gone now. There's no autopsy. There's no death report.

Now, I was talking to Tom O'Neill about it, who I consider an expert in these matters. And he was like, well, you don't understand. You know, the police sit on a lot of things. So they might be sitting on a lot of these things like an official autopsy. You know what I mean? You don't know. But, man, will you just, but they don't want to quiet it because. It's a tension that's not on the Epstein files, which the more I learn about the Epstein files, it's, it's, it, it really, the, the, the tiniest story is that in there, Trump will be with young women.

That'll be secondary or third or fourth down the rung of what could be learned by the Epstein files. Well, that's all sounds very opaque, Mike. I don't know what the fuck you're talking. Because I am not a, well, I mean that he's owned, that the President of the United States is owned. By who, who owns him if the Epstein, by the way, I'm looking at the, I'm looking at the, oh, we are, are we split on the video? Okay, good. Lately, we've been just single framed, like whoever's speaking is on the frame and people. You can't seem to change that because when I go in to look at the, you know, make a promo, it alternates whoever's talking.

I know, but right now, as I'm looking at it, it's a split screen. We're both on it, but then when it records, it's only one at a time. So I don't know how to fix it. If anybody knows how to do that, let me know. All right. Let's get to the halftime. Charlie Kirk's Turning Point USA sets All-American halftime show in protest of Bad Bunny's Super Bowl performance. The right-wing organization, which was founded by the late Charlie Kirk, posted about its all-American halftime show on social media, writing performers and events.

Event details coming soon. Why do they call somebody who died late? Does that mean that, like, they were, like, events that he was supposed to show up to after he died and he's late to all of them? I think he's just late to meeting his maker, you know? Oh, okay. The post links to a survey. It allows people to select which music genres they would like to be featured at the big game, including, you're ready? This is a category.

Anything in English. I mean, that's the joke I would have written. That's real. Then there's Americana. There's worship. It also lists hip hop, despite Kirk once advocating for people to, quote, stop listening to rap music and this degenerate hip hop stuff, end quote. It's unclear how and where turning points counter programming will be heard, but viewers would have to turn off. the Super Bowl broadcast and switch to the All-American halftime show, which will celebrate faith, family, and freedom according to the website.

So there have been a lot of comedians talking about, like, how black the Super Bowl halftime shows have gone. And, like, last year's was pretty, like, a lot of inside material and jokes between these warring hip-hop guys. and they're like, okay, time to throw us a Tom Petty-like a halftime show at this point. And they're like, nope. In fact, this one won't even be in English. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know.

And literally like some of the best halftime shows in history have been Latino, Gloria Estefan. Estefan? Estefan, I said. Jennifer Lopez, Shakira. Bruno Mars, Christina Aguilera. Maybe Charlie's people don't want Bad Bunny singing, I Will Survive.

Oh, is that what it is? I don't know. I've just tried to think about what they had a problem with. You know, Bad Bunny's already been on the Super Bowl halftime. That's right. He guesseded on it. You know what I think, you know what Turning Point should have? Adam Levine, take that waste of space.

Why don't you put him on? That was the worst Super Bowl halftime. of all time that truly was he he is so fucking overrated he is so milk toast and lame and boring and i mean he's sort of fading a bit i don't think you hear as much about him anymore but boy he had a minute over the last seven or eight years i think remember how uh then it was uh in la the super bowl and within seconds they basically built uh compton you know and and and and the city was there and then it was Eminem and Dre and everybody ice cube yeah yeah rapping uh in this city that was formed I think bad bunny should choreograph ice raids I think he should build

little neighborhoods and show while he's singing because I need to see something I'm not going to understand a word of his songs yeah I uh there was a there was a failed ice arrest that went kind of viral the other day. And this guy, he was a Latino guy, wasn't even in shape. Big belly, he's wearing flip-flops. And these two massive ice guys could not get him in the van. And the thing is like, and they talk about how people are attacking ice agents. There was a crowd of people.

They stood around. Not one of them touched an ice agent. Not one of them blocked anybody's path. They just stood there and cheered for the guy. And he wore the two of the. them to it went on for three minutes in the middle of traffic and cars are just driving by honking and eventually they just got they gave up and they got in the car and left i think people should so i mean i know the tow trucks are doing their part you know they're towing the ice when

the ice parks illegally which of course they're parking illegally everywhere when they do a raid usually illegally uh i think everyone should just surround them with cars and then pretend to lose their keys right right right like what is i what are they going to do Yeah. I mean, I think in the 60s people would do sit-ins. Like, in other words, they would just all come and lay down all around the raid. Tiananmen Square, man. Yeah.

And I, an Arizona family chowing down at the iconic Nathan's hot dog stand in Coney Island, New York, claims they have had a near tragic visit when they found a razor blade hidden in the condiments. In their condom? That's going to, that's going to make the condom not work. the viral video of the shocking snack shows a straight razor covered in onions and mustard and lying next to the nearly finished glizzy is that what they call the hot dog a glizzy yeah I'm quote I'm still in shock we found a blade inside the hot dog and they claimed it didn't come from them the women's the woman said no it couldn't have come from them because none of the employees have shaved in the last two years what's in the hot dogs. Is it the first rule of hot dogs?

Don't ask what's in a hot dog. You don't want to know how the sausages are made. Maybe there's a razor blade in there sometimes. I think maybe it's just knowing your customer. If you have somebody who's eating one of your hot dogs, there's a good chance they're suicidal. They don't care about their lives. You're just helping them along.

I'm waiting for the razor blade eating contest on Coney Island next year. Oh, yeah. There'll be people lined up to do it. A Chicago pastor is suing the Trump administration after ICE agent shot him in the head with pepper balls. Reverend David Black, the senior pastor at the First Presbyterian Church of Chicago, was shot right in the face with a pepper ball by an ice agent standing on a rooftop above him while he was protesting at the Broadview Ice Facility. Issa facility.

Black can be seen with his arm spread wide, praying at the masked armed agents above him before being shot in the head at least twice and falling to his age. Well, I can tell you, as growing up Catholic, there was many times I would have liked to shoot the guy that was praying in front of me in the church. Black said he could hear ICE laughing at what happened. Quote, I invited them to repentance.

I basically offered an altar call. I invited them to come and receive that salvation and be part of the kingdom that is coming. The lawsuit hinges on ice infringing upon protesters' First Amendment rights of freedom of speech and religion, as agents have displayed a pattern of extreme brutality aimed to silence the press and civilians. So there was another clergy member, Beth Johnson, that was fired on while singing We Shall Overcome. All right, I get that. I hate that song.

And then United Methodist pastor Hannah Cardin was also shot at with Pepper Ball's online MAGA has dismissed him as Antifa for his vocal support of equal rights in Chicago. I mean, my, listen, calling the clergy, calling the Catholic Church Antifa is pretty rich. I think they might be the most fascist organization ever. If you define fascism, which most people do, as a far-right political ideology marked by extreme nationalism, a dictator, and the violent suppression of opposition, you just described the Catholic Church. Right. Right. So, come on. They're on your side. First three commandments are all about opposition to you worshiping anybody else. Right, exactly. Come on now.

Also, I'm a little tired of these tough, rugged Republicans calling us snowflakes. They're scared of a dozen little, they're weak little Democrats standing on the corner with signs. They're getting fucking shot. And then they're calling this an insurrection. Cut the shit. This is called manufacturing a crisis. because when you do, you can put everybody's civil rights on hold and then do whatever the fuck you want. This is classic fucking fascism. So let's just stop. We have, did you just see a text that came in you? We sadly just got handed our obituary.

Yeah, Diane Keaton died. Was she sick? That's kind of hitting me hard right now. Yeah. Oh, wow. I don't know anything. I mean, she's 79. Oh.

She was older, of course, than I thought she was. But, oh, man. Yeah, that's a shame. The cause of death is unclear, but. What a legend. All right. We'll get to that later. All right.

So this is a weird one that you try to clarify. And I looked, I added some details. but a high school football team travels 500 miles, loses, and gets pepper sprayed by the cops. Mere minutes after a closely contested high school football game between the Washington Tigers and the Cardinal Ritter college prep lions. It ended in Missilian, Ohio. I'm sure I'm pronouncing that wrong. Several police officers rushed onto the field and sprayed pepper on the Cardinal Ritter players and coaching staff. They did not appear to spray any on the home team.

The police department, so then I looked up some things. The police department took drastic measures over high school players having a disagreement on the field following the game. There's video of this, and I don't think it was showing fighting. And then Cardinal Ritter College Prep, little factoid here, Cardinal Ritter College Prep is the only all-black Catholic high school in the United States. Wow. That might have something to do with it. I don't know. That is a bad optic.

That does not look good. They are a prep school, though. They're a college prep school, so this will prep them for when they're pepper sprayed at Columbia University for protesting against Israel. That's what it is? Yeah, that's why it's a prep. By the way, I guess this was the week to pepper spray Catholics.

Yeah. These players should be glad they weren't. shot in the head like the priest in Chicago with a pepper ball. Oh, and dude, this is videotaped by 50 different people. So there's not like there's going to be not going to be evidence in court. Yeah, they traveled 534 miles to Akron, Ohio. And I guess it was a much anticipated showdown.

Washington won the game 2814. That's that closely contested. But the police response was, they quickly overshadowed, outcome um yeah boy the players i mean those those police were into it well um you know i i wonder if they'll schedule the game for next year uh right and it's going to be in uh st louis that'll be interesting i bet they forfeit i would say this is this is how you launch a great uh rivalry you Babe Ruth leaves the Red Sox to go to the Yankees, and that becomes one of the great baseball rivalries of all time.

This way you pepper spray the minority other team, and things get a little heated up next time. I think I'm watching it next year. Who's not rooting for St. Louis next year? Come on. All right, give me a crinkle. We're going to the ethical question. Here we go.

All right, Mike. Okay. You live in Santa Monica. there are homeless people. We don't know their backgrounds. But in this case, you do know the background of a homeless guy in your neighborhood who is a child molester who has gotten out of jail twice on technicalities. He's creepy to kids in the neighborhood. And one day you come out in the alley behind your house and he is out there and he is suffering some kind of a seizure.

Do you pick up your phone and dial 911 Or do you continue walking down the dark alley Oh, it's dark Yeah I mean I know Do you give mouth to mouth? Do you give assistance? I don't give mouth to mouth

I think I don't know if I'd give mouth to mouth that's a good ethical question would I give mouth to mouth to a someone I have tremendous questions about and they're homeless and dirty and all of that say so you know ramp it up to make it a good ethical question ramp up all the barriers that I'd face all right well let's make that a separate ethical question and focus on whether you would get aid for this gentleman who is writhing in some sort of state. I think I would, I don't know CPR that well, but I think I read that one of the first steps

is you cut off their balls and then you do chest compressions. Yes, that's right, because the balls are, they're just. draining blood from the system. You just relieve the pressure. So I would call 911 first and they'd be like get here. This guy is in super rough shape and I believe about to bleed. And then I would cut off his balls and then I would do chest compressions and try my best to help the guy. Yeah, yeah.

I like it. All right. Yeah. you talked about how people have been shitting on Taylor Swift's new album. So I went ahead. I was on a flight. I downloaded it. I listened to it. And then I listened again. It's really good. Whoa. And I am not at all a Taylor Swift fan. But this album, I feel like it's got some cool little hooks. It's got some edgy lyrics. It's got some great tunes. I'm not saying it's up there with, you know, one of the great albums but um and then i looked up some of the reviews rolling stone magazine

fucking loved it um the uh what was the other one that billboard liked it uh i just read the new york she's going to have to add a lot of writing credits from what i'm hearing like yes there's there's really really similar uh chord structures one could say exact in some cases well all that music is that whole genre is so redundant and so generic. It's so boring. But also there's so many cringe phrases that, and by the way, it's her fans

calling it cringe. Yeah, yeah. Well, she brought in the producer that, you know, that's Swedish guy, he's like the biggest music producer in the last 20 years. She brought that guy in and apparently he wrote a lot of it. So, blame it on Sweden. Oh.

Should we do this one? No. Well, it's Well, Denise Richards, my thing was, I guess she was abused by, there's allegations of abuse from, I didn't even know she was in the Beverly Hills Housewives or whatever, but from her new husband. And my only take on that was just, I just saw her crying. And it was, it was a, it was a tender moment during the, have you seen the Charlie Sheen documentary? Yes. That guy, I don't know what quality is about him. He's the most charming guy, man.

Yes, he is. You're on his side. you're like, he's kind of telling you you shouldn't be on my side. And maybe that's, maybe that's the magic. But anyway, she was just crying during that because they were married. And I just want to say it's quite an achievement to marry a guy who would become and was dabbling at the time, but would become a crackhead. He was abusive to her.

Also a bisexual HIV sex addict. Yeah. So that's what he would become. You divorce him and you find someone. one worse. Yeah, well, I mean, that is, sadly, the condition for a lot of women. You know, they, they're fucking victims. And, you know, she said, and the excuse was that she bruises easily.

That's what he said. Oh, did you see, I went and looked at the, did you see the Shiner? Yes. That's not bruising easily. No, no. He said, they'd been together for seven years and that, you know, and that's that seven-year itch that people talk about. He was, you know, really itching to punch her in the eye.

Yeah, that's what it is. You know, I saw the headline that Denise Richards was with a black guy. I'm like, that doesn't, why is that a headline? I'm like, oh, black eye. You got to put an ice on a black guy. Yeah. Ice, ice will get him. Yeah.

All right, here we go. We're going to make an America, Florida. So it seemed like a benign headline of Florida. a man with a thermos was arrested. Okay. Glad I read more. Why is that a story? I mean, that's...

Police said the ordeal began with a complaint about a naked man at a park. All right, it's getting more Florida. When the deputy arrived, he said Walter Freymier, 51, had all of his clothes on, so the deputy escorted him out of the park. Frymire had 25 prior arrests and had been to state prison five times. The sheriff explained that all arrestees are put through a body scanner to make sure they aren't trying to bring guns and knives and drugs into the jail. Judd said Freemeyer was bringing a thermos into the jail up his ass.

Oh. That's right. This is a quote. That's right. He put it up the exit ramp. You know what I mean? The sheriff said with a knowing look in his eyes. We do, Sheriff.

Judd said the deputy likely saved his life, even though Frymire threatened to kill the deputy for arresting him. Quote, we had to take him to the hospital. They had to find a specialist. It was quite the ordeal, but he's thermoseless in the county jail today. How do you find an expert for that? I mean, is that yellow pages? Do you go thermos?

Do you go ass? I mean, do you go to Yeti customer service and you're like, listen, you probably get this all day. I'm sorry about this, but you're a 13-inch thermos. Yeah, that one. Yeah, that one. Last year's model, yeah, we have a situation. Hey, if I'm about to get put into a Florida state penitentiary, please have something blocking my asshole. Do not take that thermos out.

It's the cooler, man. It's going to cool that guy down. That's right. And you've got to think the therm is up the ass. That really keeps the coffee warm. Now you're doubling down. This guy did not read all the details of a coffee enema. He left out a couple of significant parts.

All right. Let's make America Texan. Here we go. I should shoot you. That's a quote. Texas man forces driver. who hit his dog to dig grave. The Texas man, we've been on a run, man.

They are so kind of like things are so Florida. These are really so Texas. One man in Texas was recovering from a traumatic experience after accidentally striking a dog in the road. It was dark and he didn't know what he had hit. So he pulled over to assess the damage. Then a silver Ford truck pulled up behind him. The suspect identified as Alberto Hernandez got out.

out of the pickup with a gun. He said, I should shoot you now for it. He yelled at the victim to find his dog, which was in a ditch. Then the victim was forced to carry the dog to Hernandez's property to dig a grave and bury it. While the victim was digging, Hernandez took his phone and keys inside his home. Then he came outside with an AR-style rifle with multiple attachments. Hernandez used the rifle to force the victim into the fort truck and drive to the bank where he made him withdraw $200. Now he has to grieve for his dog behind bars because Hernandez was charged with aggravated robbery, aggravated kidnapping, five counts of manufacture or delivery of a controlled substance. I didn't get that part. And then delivery of marijuana and possession

of a dangerous drug. Boy, Mr. Hernandez. I don't think this is just about the dog. No. No, this guy is I think when you're a Texas man You've sort of got a to-do list And this guy He bore the brunt of everything On his to-do list that day Yeah, man, he used the dog

As a good excuse to get a lot done Yeah, and The $200 is a very specific amount Do you think that's just the going rate For a headstone for a dog? It is specific It might not have to do with the drugs he had but that's also very Texas was it um was it the cohen brothers first movie uh where was he digging

yeah blood simple was he digging a grave for someone but that's been in a lot of stories yeah yeah where the person sometimes they're forced to dig their own grave yeah yeah which i always think that's got to be pretty pretty slow work site well you know alcatraz was built by the prisoners they took the prisoners that were going to go in and they shipped them over to the island and they lived in tents and they built the prison themselves and then they got inside of it and they locked the door. That's a true story. Don't fist fact. Don't fitz-fack me on that. That is a true story. It's going to be fits fact check. Do you know that? But you'd think once they were on tents on the island, they'd be like, you know, we could really save money. I think they got it. And this is

all they need here. They're on an island. Yeah. Well, yeah. All right, let's go international. Here we go, international. A gay thruple has adopted a three-year-old baby girl in Canada and is fighting for their regional government to recognize their parental rights of all three men. Eric, Jonathan, and Justin, who are in a polyamorous relationship, became parents to the three-year-old girl last Thursday. After more than two years of fostering the youngster. She's perfect, LeBlank told the outlet,

but she's curious, she's energetic, she loves to play, she loves to jump, she loves to dance. Yeah, she's going to be a little curious when she learns how to do math in a few years. I think this guy's describing themselves, too, the three guys. They're all curious. Yeah, and they love to dance and they're energetic and they love to play and jump. Yeah, where did she find, where did she learn how to do all these things? So we are the lucky ones to have her in our life. Though the unorthodox family is celebrating at home,

they're still hopeful a court involving the province of Quebec will end in their favor. Aren't all men in Quebec gay? That's what I mean, that's what they say on the billboard. Yeah. Beonvenu al-Homo. Three men and a baby. There you have it. Oh, right.

Okay. A little different. This one's a little different. All right. Let's get down to letters to the editor. All right, letters to the... Are we skipping this day in history is first? Okay.

It's not a great one. It's not a great one. Okay. Now it's going to have... Now it's going to have Diane Keaton on it. I know. God damn it. Chuck Yeager became the first person to break the sound barrier on this day in what year, give or take six years.

Is that a plane? Chuck Yeager? Yes. Supersonic Jet. let's see world war two we didn't have them uh we had them in uh i'd say 1968 uh 47 really i thought you were going to get it uh with the post world war two damn okay are you're going to get this one this one isn't really about the year so this is we're taking a time out for a second but just to go back for a second think about a car

that was built in 1947 that is no longer running that was a clunky heavy shitty piece of machinery and they got a motherfucking plane in 47 to break the sound barrier oh I know

it's amazing what when you look at the technology that they had during World War II it's astounding well it's like NASA you know all their R&D, you know, producing the calculator and, you know, all and endless amount of things. And that we, and I know it was sort of like a tin can, but I mean, we landed on the moon in the 60s. Well, and we also built a nuclear bomb with no computers. That was highly

effective. So get this, man. I did not know about this. This happened in, we're not, but we're taking a time out here. This happened in 1944. German field marshal Irwin Rommel. the desert fox, he ended his life by drinking poison following the discovery of his connection to a conspiracy to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Oh. Wait a minute. Like, was there shame in a conspiracy to assassinate Hitler? Maybe he just, you know, he was his guy.

Oh, sorry. Yes. No, the desert fox. Oh, I flipped it. I did not know Rommel conspired to assassinate Hitler. And yes, there would be tremendous shame. Sorry, I flipped it for a second. I literally thought of an American.

It was like Gerbils, Himler, and him. They were the guys. Wow. I want to know more about the Desert Fox turning on Hitler. Damn. A little late, 44, a little late to turn on him, I will say. It's kind of like Italy who's now like, oh, we're not on their side anymore. Right.

It's like saying the Patriots suck now. Okay. All right, Gregory, the Chicago Cubs beat the Detroit Tigers to win the team's second World Series championship. They did not claim their third title until 2016. When did the Cubs win their second World Series championship against the Tigers? It happened on this day in what year, give or take, 15 years. 1916. I gave you enough, 1908.

Yeah, I know. No, I think the socks were the teens. The other socks were in the teens, 1915 or 16 or something like that, I think. All right, man, a lot of World War II stuff. All right, the Boston Americans, later known as the Red Sox, defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates to win the first modern World Series.

I don't think you're going to get this. I don't think you're going to get it within 10 years. So why don't you just guess? 1900. Holy shit, you got it. 1903. Hey now. Wow.

Well, you just told me that they hadn't won in over 100 years, the Red Sox. I knew it was back in that area. Oh, you're right. I did do that. But I think you also knew that, too. Okay. A flight charted by a Uruguayan rugby team crashed in the Andes.

These the guys that ate each other? These are the guys who resorted to cannibalism. The rugby team in the mountains. What year, give or take, seven years did this rugby team start eating people? 1975. Look at you, man. 72. There we go. The classic film All About Eve, starting Betty Davis and Ann Baxter,

premiered in Paris and New York. It's amazing. It won six Academy Awards, including Best Picture. When did it premiere, give or take, eight years? Wait, who are the stars again? Betty Davis and Ann Baxter. All right, so Betty Davis, I think, transitioned from black and white to color, which was probably in the 40s.

So I'm going to say 1949. You know what? I mean, it's 1950, it's a black and white movie, so none of your logic made sense whatsoever. No way, it was a black and white movie. I said so it was a black and white movie. All right. Which changed in the 40s. Let's see, that might be, that might be all she wrote for TV.

I think I got every one of them. Oh, no, I missed one. Let's see if we can find one here. Winnie the Pooh. Oh, Jesus. E. Milney. A.A. Milney

Winnie the Pooh Is it going to say it was published or what the hell? Oh yes, published. So first published, the first published Winnie the Pooh book What year with Eeyore and Piglet? What year, give or take,

I'm going to make it tougher for you, give her take five years? 1957. 26. No. We're going out on that. Okay. Had to make me look like a loser.

All right, fine. One more. Keeping up with the Kardashians premiered on this day in what year, give or take three years. 2013. 2007. Remember, the writer's strike was, it blossomed during the writer's strike and continued. I think they've been around that long. Jesus.

Oh, good Lord. Letters to the editor. Here we go. Letters to the editor. This comes from Brian. I'm not sure if you'll talk about Portland and the National Guard this week. Well, you know, we've covered a lot of this ice stuff. Let's just say, let's just go down to Logan, who said, oh, this is Logan Forsyth.

We already talked about him. Fine. Let's go to obituaries. Oh, sorry. Yeah, God damn it. Here we go. Well, first obituary was more lighthearted. some ways, I looked up because I was like, I don't think I know of anyone that passed this week.

And then you know what I found? I found, remember the show, what's happening? Of course. It was gigantic for us. And Dee was the daughter. Oh, she was cute. She was cute, but she was cool, no matter how you sliced it, Dee was cool. I love Dee. and she passed away on August 11th after a battle with cancer. She was 60 because I remember she, you know, she wasn't much older than we were because we were kids watching a kid.

But listen to this. The untimely death is really hard to process. Okay, okay. She started 65 episodes of what's happening about three teenage boys growing up in South Los Angeles neighborhood of Watts. Spencer played D. Thomas, the boy's younger sister. And then she was in 16 episodes of what's happening now, which was the sequel. And in 77, she survived a fatal car crash that killed her stepfather and manager Tim Pelt.

After recovering from her injuries, she went her on to earn a doctorate degree in veterinary medicine in 1993. She moved from California to the Richmond, Virginia area. area at the time of her death she lived with her mom in an area outside of Richmond according to the story and she's survived by her younger brother the jazz musician Jeremy Pelt

but I'm like good what a nice life yep that's what you do as a child star you got to have a chapter 2 you got to act 2 you got to have something new to do and so that was

D I wanted to give a shout out to D because people of a certain age, a very specific certain age, will really remember her fondly. And that show, what's happening? You know, I didn't know about Watson. We didn't know about any of that stuff. I remember, like, how cool.

Was it rerun in that? It was JJ Walker and rerun? Of course, man. And then what's her name? Who was the big gal? Oh, yeah. Oh, not Jay. Is it a Jay?

Not Josie What was her name? Oh fuck All right I'll look it up But anyway Are you look it up I'm going to get to Diane Keaton

All right yeah She was in father of the bride First Wives Club She's eyes at 79 years old Obviously we remember her From the Godfather films Where she was such a fucking texture of that movie

She gave it She gave it the feel that it had She won an Oscar for best actress in Annie Hall in 77, one of the great movies of all time. She was, let's see,

born. Huh? Shirley, but do we have the wrong? Shirley Hempel? Yeah, how do you know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she was a comedian. We're on North Carolina also.

Okay. She was, I don't think she ever had kids. high school plays this is the people magazine article these are always fluffy she had bulimia and when she was doing uh allen's broadway show played against sam she received a tome tony nomination for the role but told she was told she was fat um and then uh let's see what else sorry we're reading this on the fly but it just happened she was in played against sam with Woody Allen. She was in sleeper, love and death.

She was in at least six Woody Allen movies. Yeah. Interiors, Manhattan, Manhattan murder mystery. And, of course, she is Annie Hall. Yeah. She defended Woody Allen in the sexual abuse allegations. Reds, don't forget about Reds. What about looking for Mr. Goodbar?

That was amazing. She had such range, but listen, I don't think my daughters are willing to watch a Woody Allen movie, believe it or not, at this stage. My kids love it. We've been watching a lot of them lately. But you have to understand, like, so the most talented men in the world were amazed by this woman and obviously the most talented people. but I'm just speaking specifically of like a people who just fell head over heels in love with her and wanted to put them her in all of their art and super super high art from Godfather to Reds to Annie Hall. She won the Academy Award for Annie Hall.

If you have not seen Annie Hall, you, it's one of those where you are just realizing you're seeing someone so, incredibly unique and they steal the show and I went to acting school in New York at the neighborhood playhouse and she was the well a lot of big people came out of the neighborhood playhouse but she was taught specifically by my teacher Richard Pinter and she came into class one day

and just watched us just hung out made a few comments watched us It was like the biggest thrill. I was there for two years. It was like the biggest thrill. Yeah. I mean, just for Annie Hall, Academy Award, BAFTA, New York film critics. I mean, National Society of Film Critics.

She won everything. And she deserved it. She did have two children. Okay, never got married, though. But she did have two children, but she adopted. But what a horrible thing to say. And I should say, and she adopted them. Not but as if they're not.

as important but she didn't go through childbirth so she had that going for her I never saw someone's got to give but she got her second golden globe for that

but anyway I'll just tell you I mean the laity da laida she's a style icon again it just points to this unique spirit like no one dressed like her ever before that before she just would appear in these outfits yeah um and you know my my feet obviously knows i i like her and these scenes come up from manhattan

and annie hall and all this and uh yeah cheese we lost we lost an incredible icon all right well rip rip diane keaton all right let's cheer up this is the time we really We really need to cheer up. Raise it a different way. All right, here we go. The comedy caption contest, we gave you one last week, which was a telescope. It's like a planetarium, but the telescope is faced down towards a little village. So the telescope is up on a hill.

The village is in the valley, and the lens is aimed at the village. Rich Butchko said, Losing it earlier that day, Carl Sagan refused to stop searching for his missing contact lens. Michael Jujinsky said, peering directly into the kitchens of immigrants, ICE and Space Force team up to form Spice Force. All right. Maas said, because no intelligent life was found in the universe or Earth, the telescope had lost its boner. I kind of like that.

Kevin Robinson said, I see uranus and your wife's anus. That I, that's great. There, right to Greg's sweet spot. Kelly Hatfield, zoom in on the second house on the left. Code newlywed. Anthony, Anthony Sexton. Oh, shit, that's Sydney Sweeney. All right.

Dan said Greg really got in, Greg really got into astronomy right around when the bumsteads moved to Venice. Okay. Tim Daniel said Before Halley's Comet There was Haley's restraining order I kind of like that That's good too But I think

I like the losing its boner Because it does look sad Yeah yeah yeah There is Of course it's menacing When such a big lens is You know so close to the houses But there is a sad quality to it also

And that's cool that that was picked up on Yeah it's got like a little double little double meeting there so we'll give it to you maz congratulations send us your address let's get those coosies out next week's comic for the caption is it looks like the serengeti there are zebras and three of them with regular stripes are looking at a fourth one who has polka dots instead so that's what we got all right I have some onion ones. Oh, let me just mention this. Somebody sent in because they know how much you love the far side.

And Jane Goodall just died. So this was one that he dug up that he remembered. And it's two baboons sitting in a tree. Was she baboons or was she orangutans? She did chimpanzees. She was famous for, most famous, I believe. But I think she did apes as well. These look like apes.

All right. Let's call these two guys apes. They're sitting up on a tree limb, and one of them is kind of grooming the other one as they do. And he says, well, well, another blonde hair conducting a little more research with that Jane Goodall Tramp. There you go. They did love each other. Here's one. Department of Justice removes all mentions of justice from website.

that's good there's so many horrible boogie boarding accident leaves man totally bummed below the neck that's good and then here's a this was a local story two-word headline it just says chicken killed Let's go to the pros Hagger the Horrible by Dick Brown First is a long one So I'll kind of skim through it The mother and the daughter And the kid are saying to Hager

Let's go to the fair And she The wife says I'll buy you a beer And then All of a sudden There's a There's a horse ride That you can rent

So the daughter goes Daddy that beautiful sweet ice landis horse deserves a better life and haggar goes you're right about that hon leave it to me so hagger hits the uh the what do you call that the hammer thing yeah with the bell sending it up the bell and then he comes over i don't know what that has to do with uh maybe he just scared the guy into giving him the pony so now the daughter who's smoking hot she's like uh she's like a neanderthal blondey and now they're driving home on a horse and carriage And the daughter has the horse in the back, and she's spooning him.

And she has her arm around him. And he goes, now we have a new plow horse. Yeah, he's going to be plowing your daughter. I mean, it's like, it's totally sexualized. Are you kidding? There's a heart sign above her head? Yeah, the horse looks satisfied. This is the 1100s.

This was a romance back then. Oh, golly. All right. Yeah. And then there was no lockhorns that I liked this week, which is very rare. Well, maybe because you read about five a week, we should slow down the pace. Blondie is now in the department store, and she has on a black velvet cocktail dress just above the name. And the saleswoman, who's a busty little thing in her own right, says every woman needs a little black dress.

And Blondie goes, I agree. And then the woman goes, there's nothing like a little black dress to make you feel a little extra pretty. And then Blondie's looking in the mirror and she goes, true. And then the woman goes, and the more you have, the prettier you feel. And now Blondie turns her head around and they're making eye contact. She's got her hands on her hips. And she goes, even more true. And then in the next frame, they have locked themselves inside the stall.

and they are furiously 69ing as saliva stains the velvet dress of blondie. We think it's saliva. I didn't get the whole, I didn't see that frame. Oh, you didn't get that frame? Oh, it must have cut off. Oh, I have premium membership. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you don't pay the extra. Yeah, you got to pay the extra. I think it's worth it. Good for you, yeah. Don't forget, folks, Las Vegas this week. Come out to Brad Garrets. Don't forget the Best Buddies benefit in L.A., October 30th.

Santino and Craig Robinson and a host of others. Yeah, wow. I got to think about what I'm going to do up there. I want to help the best buddies. Okay. Anything you want to promote? Yeah. I started watching Task.

Oh, yeah, I'm watching Task. So far, so good. No, no, don't say anything because I'm like barely in episode two. But boy, they get you at the not much. build episode one but at the like most like most shows you got to end with a uh leaving the people saying i got to watch episode two and that's what it did it did that very effectively well i will only talk about the first episode or two but they front load the fucking story on this series like you literally after the first one you go like all right how is there seven more episodes

of this yeah in terms of where they are on the plot um also I'm watching House of Guinness right now, which is made by the Peaky Blinders guy. Oh. It's all right. It's Peaky Blinder's light. None of the characters is really popping that hard like they did in Peaky Blinders.

And the guy is very into like steam and open fires in the alleys. That's a lot of peeky blinders too. Yeah. All right. Thanks for listening. Take care. Happy October, man. It's fall. It's officially fall.

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