Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers W Greg And Mike Ep 290 112325

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Skanfest review, a reporter is a piggy, the 10 Commandments are in every TX school and Quentin Tarantino calls in to the show! UNCOMMONGOODS.com/PAPERS for 15% off! Watch Greg’s latest special, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest” Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Find Mike on Venmo here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTime⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmons⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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coffee's brewing truth's stewing Greg and Mike they got their headlines with a side of attitude Three two Okay

Read all about it Read all about it Come ye He can't yell He can't yell He cannot yell I can't yell I am getting over my skankfest

sickness Which look Makes sense. That tracks, if you ask me. It's not the worst thing I could have brought home from Skankfest. That's for sure. Every night, every night, every night there was, we talked, did we talk about it last week at all or I wasn't there yet? I don't think you were there yet. All right. So I did Skank Fest this week and it is the most, it's, it was so far beyond what I imagine Skank Fest would be. I do tell. You have to come next year.

Okay. Tom O'Neill came with Dimples Liz. Yep. And we just had so many adventures. There is, they have roast battle, but everybody's naked. I see smoke behind you. Yeah, I have a humidifier going because of my chest cold. Okay, okay.

So there's that. Then there's the after party every night at the Larry Flint barely legal club, which Louis C.K. has a, a bit about the magazine barely legal. That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. He's like, you can buy this magazine at the airport. So you're sitting on a plane and the message of the magazine is, okay, these girls are legal. They're legal.

Okay. But, don't worry. Barely. Like, just. And he goes on for like five minutes about it. It's so fucking funny. That's like a very Norm MacDonald. No sarcasm, the absolute truth.

Just looking at the title and saying it is so pointing out how funny it is. Right. And then there was fights. There was like a boxing ring and comedians would get in the ring and beat the shit out of each other. And Jason Ellis annihilated this guy. Who would step in with Jason Ellis? This guy DJ something. He must be some big podcaster.

I've heard enough. I heard enough. It starts with DJ. During the naked roast, the guy who hosts it. A naked roast? Yeah. Women and men completely naked standing on stage, roasting each other. Okay. And the host is this guy who weighs, I would not be exaggerating if I said he weighs 350 pounds.

And he's painted in green. He's like Shrek. And then after judging it, after getting so fucked up that the Shep. show went on forever and completely lost its place. But then he brought it all back because at the end he stands on stage and people line up with a staple gun and they staple dollar bills to his body. Okay. Belly, legs, arms, forehead, taint strip.

Okay. So he's standing there at the end covered in dollar bills. and painted green. Meanwhile, he's probably doing better than you are now after Skangfest. Exactly. That's the, that's the craziest part. And then there was, me and Tom left one night, and it's like 3 a.m. And we're walking home.

And there's just people, I've got to tell you, I've never felt more famous in my life because there's 9,000 people and 8,000 of them have listened to my podcast. A lot of shoutouts to you, by the way. Oh, Lord. Like couldn't walk five steps without being stopped for a selfie or like, hey man, loved you on this and you were great. It was such a fucking ego boost. It was amazing. Can I staple?

Can I staple the dollar bill on you? Yes. Yeah. And so we're walking home and then we get stopped by this couple, four people. And a woman who is on so much LSD that her jaw is locked to the left. Her right eyebrow is, she looks like a Picasso painting. And she says to Tom, I love. I love your book.

I love your book. And he goes, thank you so much. And she goes, and you're cute. And she starts putting her hand on him. And he goes, I'm gay.

And she goes, I don't believe that. He goes, I'm gay. Join the club. Yeah. And she's like, you don't seem gay.

And I go, he's gay. And then she reaches down and grabs his cock and starts massaging it, like kneading it like it's dough. And, I mean,

it goes on. and it goes on for like a minute. And Tom's just got his arms out to his side. Are you seeing? Are you seeing? Is it a hand above the pants? Is it down his? It's above his pants.

Okay. He's got his hands out to his side. And then her husband says to me, she going to get him. Oh, no. Yeah. And she did. It sounds like he should, it sounds like he should have tried to get him. He said that at the end, he goes, he goes, there was a little bit of movement at the end.

She got him. It was his straightest experience. his life. It's Tom doing whip bits or whatever at that time. Yeah. Poppers. Yeah.

Poppers. And then I was. That's what she's going to get them. And then I was in Starbucks with Joe List. You know Joe List? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. So we're hanging out.

And then these two, this couple comes in. And outside the Starbucks, there's a huge crowd of people. And they're standing around like real Midwestern, overweight, badly dressed. and I said to the couple, what are you guys waiting for? And they go, oh, we're going on a cruise. I said, oh, that's cool.

What countries are you going to? She's like, we're going to Panama, Honduras, and I go, oh. And she goes, what? I go, you didn't hear? She's like, hear what? I go, there's a civil war. It just started yesterday in Honduras.

It's like machetes, people on the streets with like swords. Yeah. And they're like, no way. And Joe's like, yeah, it's really bad. Like the president had to leave. and then they go, you know, our bus is late. Do you think that's where our bus is late?

And we were like, oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. And then we see them walk out front and we can see them through the window, like talking to the other people and everybody were like waving their arms around. Wait, wait, you didn't, you didn't come clean? No. Oh, no. No. Nice, nice fun prank.

Oh, my God. Excuse me. So, so, uh, we walked. into the first party, the opening party, and Duncan Trustle is there, who's just the greatest human being alive. He's so sweet and so smart and philosophical. And he's one of those guys that's so in the moment, he just talks to anybody. So he starts talking to Tom, and they're just shooting the shit about stuff for like half an hour. There's like four of us talking together. And then I mentioned Tom wrote chaos, and he lose, Duncan,

loses his shit. Oh, he didn't already know. He didn't already know. No, he didn't know. No. Oh, wow. So, he immediately asked him to do his podcast, which is a huge podcast. He's doing it live. It's one of the final events of the festival. So me and Tom went on Duncan's podcast on the final night. Hysteric. I saw pictures of that. That was great. So many people at that festival have read his book. There was a huge crowd. That tracks. Yeah. So, Tom was loving that. And it was just great. It was amazing.

Everybody had LSD and mushrooms and, um, I saw Mark Norman there. He's a hometown boy, right? That's right. Yep. I did a podcast with him too. I did him and, uh, Joe List have a podcast together. I did that. Oh, nice.

So it was fun. It was a lot of fun. How did Tom? Tom hadn't been in New Orleans, right? No, that's why. he came he'd never been before so like we took a bus tour one day like a two and a half hour bus tour of uh of new orleans and so so we're we're driving and the lady who's running it is a riot she's like knows the shit like she's got her she's facing us so her back is to the driver and she's

explaining and on your left you'll see the red house has blah blah blah and then and she goes and now that steeple on my right never turns around just has the city so memorized right and her battery is so tight and then this guy is talking on his phone like really loud and then she goes sir you're going to have to hang up the phone and he keeps talking and she goes sir there's no talking during the tour and she's a hard ass and so finally she tells the driver to pull over and the guy on the phone says uh i don't know who but he said somebody died like a family member just died Huh. And she threw them off the bus.

Oh my God. Yes. So they were up towards the front. So they get thrown off the bus. It was so fucking awkward. It was so sad. Why wouldn't they get off the goddamn bus if someone died? All right.

Go ahead. And then Tom immediately, we're in the back. Tom immediately moves up and sits in their seats and is waving us up. And me and Liz are like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And now Mary Fitzgerald was supposed to go. She didn't go? No, she's got a leg. She's got the same.

thing as me. Sayat a torn meniscus. Oh, Lord. Yep. Well, I'm glad Tom experienced that, man, you know, I try to give him advice. I think he stayed in the warehouse district. I told him to do that. I think so, yeah.

Which has gotten so nice. It's incredible. And then they went on tours every day. They did. There's a tour of the swamps where you see alligators. Hopefully the World War II Museum. It was too big. That's like two days.

You need two full days to see that. Really? I've never been. I just know it's amazing. Oh, no. It's like two blocks long. It's crazy. Wow.

Yeah. But why didn't you come by the way? Huh? Why didn't you come? I'm trying to remember. Was I maybe still going to be in Florida when it was being planned, I think? I don't know. When was it?

Last weekend? It was last Thursday to 6th. Sunday. I think I was in Florida. So what am I saying? Well, you could have come from Florida, Louisiana. That's a good point. That's a good point. So anyway, I'm back. I'm sick. And it was fun. What's going on with you? What else is going on? What I miss? Well, wow. You see this news story. I want to ask your opinion on this. Border Patrol is a headline. Border Patrol is left Charlotte.

and plans to mobilize in New Orleans next. No. Yep. Ice is descending on New Orleans. Well, they got a lot of different types of foreigners there. I mean, it is such a hodgepodge of different nationalities. It's like a lot of Africans, a lot of Haitians, a lot of North Africans. Like, I was speaking French to all my Uber drivers.

I swear to God, they all spoke French. Poor people. I know. You know, how many times can you ask somebody where the bathroom is while sitting in an Uber? And then you ask what else I've been doing? Well, you know, L.A. had all this range. So I caught up on a lot of things, including the chair company. I don't know if you probably didn't get around watching.

I watched the first episode. That's the best one so far. I don't know if like it's a prank being played on me. but I mean I love him so there's a guilty pleasure but anyway we'll talk about it we'll talk about it once you catch up on episodes I saw a lot of crap Frankenstein as you know is one of my is my favorite I think it's my favorite book of all time it's the original sci-fi book Mary Shelley I mean it is Blade Runner Blade Runner is literally Frankenstein and I watched it over Dennis had a bunch of us over with Mikey and And we watched it there and it is horrible. Oh, what year was it made? This year, no.

It was supposed to be a giant Oscar contender. Oh, no shit. Yeah. It's what's his name? The Mexican amazing director. But I think he's just good with making things look cool. Robert Rodriguez? No, not him.

Pan's Labyrinth guy and all that stuff. I'll look him up now. Oh, yeah. I hated a lot of things. Because of the Scorsese documentary, which if people haven't seen that, St. D'Amo del Toro, yes. Oh, yeah, stop.

Go to your TV, turn it on, and watch it. What? The Scorsese documentary. Oh, I know. I know. So I watched it, and I got so inspired that I've been sick for three days, so I've had a Scorsese festival. I watched Raging Bowl.

I watched Taxi Driver, and I watched the Jerry Lewis one. Oh yeah. King of Comedy? King of comedy. Which, you know what? A lot of funny elements, but I felt like this every time I've seen it, it's not a cohesive movie.

Oh, really? Yeah. His character is amazing. Fucking Sandra Bernhardt hits it out of the park. Oh, she's so good. You know, there's a lot of good elements. I just feel like in the end, I don't know, there's something hollow about it. Did you ever see New York, New York?

I've never seen that. I've never seen Last Temptation of the Christ. I haven't seen that. Maybe we need a Scorsese, some parties. Yeah. I've heard Last Temptation of Christ is great. Well, that's the one he was wanting to make his whole career. I guess so.

I saw a documentary. I started the Scorsese and I knew I'd love it, but it was late at night. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to just fall asleep soon. So I stopped. But I did on another occasion watch the John Candy documentary. Huh? And yeah, he, boy, you learn what's behind those incredibly vulnerable eyes, you know? Wow.

And I think he was going to be one of those comic actors and comedians. and comedians who was going to do unbelievable, and he already started doing unbelievably great dramatic roles. I mean, if you look, comedians are dominating. And of course, there was Robin Williams. But like even the year where the two nominees for Best Dramatic Actor are from Better Call Saul. You know, I mean, that's Bob Odenkirk.

And then, you know, what's his name? Lenny. So sorry, I'm spacing on his name. you know, from spinal tap. McKeon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Michael McKeon. Michael McKeon.

Like those are, those guys were full on comedy people. Yeah. Like absurd comedy people. Right. And here they are. And it's happening. By the way, the list is very long. I know.

Sandler. Yeah. Jim Carrey. You know, and I was talking to a comedian recently. It's a really good comedian. I can't remember who it is. but he was in a big movie, and he was talking to another comedian who was in the movie.

Oh, it might have been Kevin Pollock. And he said to the guy, when they finished a heavy scene, he looked at the other guy and he goes, this is fucking easy, isn't it? The guy's like, yeah, this is a piece of cake. Oh, I got news for dramatic actors. You're not even on the,

you're not even in the same ballpark of sadness than someone in comedy. Yeah, right, right. That's, that's the news flash. Yeah. The logo this week is from Thor. It is the Jive Turkeys and a head nod to Thanksgiving. I don't know if that's a movie poster.

Was there a Jive Turkeys? I don't know. I'll look it up. I don't know if they were white actors on the poster. No, I don't think they were. But the art is really nice. I love it. Beautiful poster.

Thank you, Thor. and I used Thor's art because Thor's song is this week. Now, Thor, if you remember, is an artist who gave us a song about three or four weeks ago, and I said very offhandedly that this is so good it must be AI. Well, Thor got a thorn in his side and made a video. He re-made the song in his studio, and he videotaped the process of him laying down different tracks, different layers, sent it into us. All right, so this is another Thor song.

And this one is, I'd be hard-pressed to think. I thought his last one was great. This might be, we literally might have to stop taking song submissions and use this. I mean, can it be put on Spotify? Oh, my God. Well, he gave me his link. I listed his link last time, and so people can't check him out. So the whole song is going to be played at the end of this podcast.

podcast, listen to the whole song. Wow. Yeah. It's a wow. You know, you send me songs, and I usually listen, and I'm, and I'm, you send it to me very last minute right before we do this. And I'm still like looking at the stories and finding, finding Florida man and all that stuff.

And, uh, and so I listen, I get a flavor and then I can kind of tell you, oh, that was really good. It was in the genre of this. I stopped and listened to the whole song. Yeah. It's that good. And his voice is good. The lyrics are good.

Yeah. It's funk. It's definitely AI. Should I not say that? Should I not say that? Corrections. Red Fireshot Kennedy pointed out South Park series.

The season 27, episode two, Got a Nut. Parity of Charlie Kirk was not pulled from the website still streaming on Paramount Plus the planned rerun after September 10th was pulled, that's all that happened. Also, the five episodes depicting

Muhammad are pulled from the website for obvious reasons. They are available on DVDs. All right. Chris said, got a correction. Banana's comedy club is no longer in Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey. Oh, no. They moved to Rutherford a few years ago. Lucky Rutherford.

The old one was perfect for comedy, dark, small, cramped, low ceilings. The new one is basically a wedding ballroom inside the Renaissance hotel with a way too high ceiling. See you there. Oh, no. Perfect. So this brings me to my tour dates, Phoenix, Arizona. I will be at the Desert Ridge Improv November 28th through 30th, the weekend of Thanksgiving, abandoning my mother on a trip to visit me.

You should go to the desert. You should go to, I think it's called the Boulders. There's a golf course. I told you I played there. Oh, really? And it's literally boulders, gigantic, as bigger than the, like, the cabins, boulders that this golf course weaves around. Damn, okay. And then I'll be in San Francisco at the punchline, December 11 through 13.

Then I will be in apparently Rutherford, New Jersey, out by the giant stadium. at bananas, December 26th and 27th. That bananas is in the same location. And I'm coming to Cleveland, Atlanta, Austin, Sacramento, Philly, go to fitsdog.com, get some tickets. Let's talk a little bit about the holidays that are coming up. We all want to impress people with the gift that shows that we thought about it, that we cared. Already started buying. Already started buying on it.

You're on it. Uncommon goods. Uncommon goods. You can support artists. Small artists. They give a dollar back. I got some stocking stuffers. There were a little like needle point things.

And they have a little map for you. And I just thought fun thing, especially for my little Waldorf morons to do. They're master knitters. So this will be fun for them. I got my brother-in-law, a Jets book where it's like the history of the Jets in photos with his name engraved on it.

I got my daughter, these boots. History of the New York Jets? Yes. Oh, all right. Well, it can't be that. The Super Bowl chapter is not that long. Yeah. Right. It's a slim volume. What was it? 1969 they won the Super Bowl. No digital photos. They have no, the, the Jets might be the only team not to have any digital photos of them at the Super Bowl. Yeah. It's Ken Burns really made the book. Yeah. So anyway, find stuff, foodies, mixologists, gardeners, whatever you want. You can buy a gift that really shows that you care about them. And then a dollar of every purchase is donated to a charity of your choice that they list.

So don't wait. Make this holiday of the year to give something truly unforgettable to get 15% off your next gift. Go to Uncommonogoods.com slash papers. That's Uncommongoods.com slash papers for 15%. percent off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary.

Is it Jets book? I mean, does that, I think it qualifies as a gag gift, no? I mean, yeah. It's close. I mean, here's you in the preseason. This is the year. And here's you by October. Fuck.

Not me. I literally, I don't think you've ever heard from me. This is the year. I was very excited about the drama of Rodgers. Yeah. And I went. Remember that? No, you thought you thought you really did think that was going to be the year.

Oh, yeah. You know what? I did because of the documentary, the HBO, whatever it is documentary. Yeah, Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks. The Hard Knocks, man, did a number on me. It just showed a real team and that he was such a leader and like really woven into the team. And the receivers, I can't even as I'm saying, it's a saddest thing.

The receivers were so inspired. They can't believe one of the greatest, you know, most accurate arms in the NFL was going to be throwing to the everything look great. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's so funny. It's perfect. It's actually perfect.

All right, what I have is a, look at this, a knee sleeve. But boy, it sounds good. That's the closest I have to paper. Okay, a knee sleeve. Do you know what a knee sleeve? You know, you put it over there. Yeah, I got one of those. You might have to do, although you're not supposed to strengthen your knee.

This will not do that. What time is it? Is he early? Oh, look at this. Now I just told him to sign on. Oh. So hide non-video participants. There we go.

Are you there, Marty? Oh, it's Quinn Tarantino. All right, listen, we got to read this story real quick to set up our call that we have right now. Wait, so we're going down, we're going down. Actor Kevin Spacey said he's living out of a suitcase and biding time in hope of someday overcoming a sex scandal that has sideline him from Hollywood. Hollywood's big stage for nearly a decade. Spacey 66 stopped just short of calling himself homeless and said his financial situation is not great. I'm living in hotels.

I'm going where the work is. A two-time Oscar winner. I'm going where the boys are. I mean, the work is. He spoke to British Broadsheet while singing standards at a nightclub in Cyprus. I'll go see that. He's been out of Tinseltown since actor. Anthony Rap told BuzzFeed in 2017 that he made a sexual advance on him in 86.

At the time, Spacey would have been 26. Rap 14. Oh, no. Spacey admitted to being too handsy. So he said just one VIP phone call could Lance Spacey back in the limelight, he said. So my feeling is if Martin Scorsese or Quentin Tarantino call, it will all be over. I would be incredibly honored and delighted when that level of talent picks up the phone, and I believe it's going to happen.

Well, here we have it. On line one, we've got Quentin Tarantino, and on line two, we've got Kevin Spacey. Quentin, you want to say hello to Kevin? Yeah, yeah, sure. Hey, Kev, good to see you. I mean, here's the thing about Kevin Spacey, you've got to understand. He's a great actor. He's a great actor, and he just has been given a rough to you.

here. And so we're bringing you back, Kev. That's what he does. He brings actors back. Yeah. I did it with John Travolta. I could do it with Kevin Spacey. I did it with that other guy's name of him. I'm forgetting right now. You know the one. Yeah. And I'm still not forgiving you for bringing back Travolta. He's gone away again, though, so we're fine. Okay, good, good, good, good. I wonder what his feet look like. It's great to hear now. Quentin, I do, I do

I do appreciate you calling and is this Kevin Spacey? Is that you, Mr. Spacey? Yes, yes, it is. Oh, okay. You sound kind of kind of fancy, Spacey. You know what I'm here's the thing. I got good news for you. Pick up that energy of yours.

We're going to do a movie. It's inspired by Ken Burns' The American Revolution that's on right now. It's amazing. We're going to do a biopic. Paul Revere. And how old would you say the other members of the mail cast would be.

Well, they're going to be all ages, but the thing is you're playing Paul Revere. You're playing the star. You're the lead. You're the big guy. That sounds amazing. This is the call I've been waiting for. What's the name of the project?

It's called One If I C. One If I C, okay. Well, it seems to me that a lot of the messengers might be younger fellas, don't you think? Oh, yeah, there's going to be a whole cast of characters here. We got people, we got the Minutemen. Those guys are amazing. They got them.

We got the young kids who bring up the rear. And we got everybody coming. You're going to have a great time. The young British are coming. I think I'm going to be coming too. I think I just need about a minute. I tell you what, it's probably going to take it longer than that. But these minute men are quick.

Jesus. Oh, my God. We got to get, I don't think this is helping you, Kevin's. I just hung up on Kevin Spacey. I don't think that's helping him at all. What do you? What do you? What do you?

What are you, what are you crazy? What are you? This is Q. This is Q. Quentin Kerritito. Quinn, let me ask you something. You said you were only going to do 10 movies, and I think you've done nine. What, is this the final one, the Civil War movie?

Yeah, if you can do the math, it is pretty clear that the American Revolution. It's not the Civil War. That's already been done. The revolution. Picture it. young Kevin Spacey, we used some AI generated stuff, riding his horse through town. But then what happens? What happens 15 years later?

What happens 20 years later? Where's Paul now? What's Paul Revere doing now? That's when we jump in and tell the story. And his wife has beautiful feet. Oh, my God, the feet on her. Yeah. Feet are going to be very prominent in this one, very prominent.

Because here's the thing back in the day, they didn't have a lot of socks. They didn't have a lot of like foot care. So we're going to have to show that. We're going to have to see what they did. Yes. Well, thank you so much, Quentin. You might have saved somebody's career today. Certainly not mine.

Certainly not mine. Thank you. Take care, Quinn. See you later, Quinn. Yeah, anyway, Marty's calling. Marty's calling. Marty's calling. As Marty and Quentin never been in a conversation,

can you imagine not only the cocaine budget, but can you imagine? imagine how fast they would talk in that? Oh, my God. That would be something to why. I bet they've talked. I would imagine that happened. Oh, yeah, they have.

Yeah, yeah. All right, let's double back to the front page. That was the entertainment section, but we really have to do the front page. Here we go. We're going back to the front page. Here we go. All right. White House press secretary, Caroline Levitt,

offered a truly pathetic defense Thursday for President Donald Trump, calling a female reporter Piggy. During a press briefing, I mean, this is the thing with Trump. You're never going to be like, that has to be AI, because AI could not come up with what he does, Trump.

And we have two stories in a row on it. So anyway, during the press briefing, she was asked to explain what the president meant when he said, quiet piggy to Bloomberg reporter, Catherine Lucy earlier this week. Lucy had asked him question about Jeffrey Epstein while on Air Force One.

By the way, it took me about 30 seconds to Google what this woman looked like. If she had been overweight, this thing would have gotten a lot more traction. Well, you know, that was Billy Bush's take. And I had an issue with that. Like, does, first of all, it doesn't matter. I don't think. But maybe it does. All right.

Anyway, presenting her own wild spin, she claimed Trump's crude and sexist comment was him being, quote, frank and open with the press and an example of behavior that was a lot more respectful than that of the previous administration. Wow. Yeah. Quote, Biden wasn't, uh, all right, go ahead. Quote, so I think the president being frank and open and honest to your faces, rather than hiding behind your backs, is frankly a lot more respectful than what you saw in the last administration when you had a president that lied to your face and hit upstairs and didn't take your questions.

Biden wasn't hiding. He was looking for his keys. By the way, I was thinking about this. Do you think a president even carries keys or a wallet? That's a good question. Yeah. So I don't think so. Well, Obama, right, had like Blackberry.

He was addicted to his Blackberry. Yeah. Right. And then maybe had a Blackberry and an iPhone. I'm not sure. But I mean, how few people are there in life that have no wallet and no keys? Yeah. What's their little mantra when they leave the house?

No wallet, no keys, no phone. Got it. Okay, I can go now. Right, right. I'd be great at it. I'd be great at it. Yeah. But I love her thing, which is it's kind of like that joke.

There used to be a joke that when you, some comedian had it, that you hear the, mosquito buzzing around, don't worry that much because only like the females, and I'm going to get this wrong, but like the females are the ones whose wings make the buzzing sound that you hear and they're not going to bite you. It's the males.

So if you're ever lying in bed and hear nothing, that's when you need to worry. It's almost like which is more respectful? The president who didn't call someone piggy or the one who did. Yeah, right. If you never heard it, that's worse. That's what she's saying.

You know, if this were a man, he would have never said piggy. He would have said the man's wife was a piggy. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. The Billy Bush take was like you. All right. Have you seen Billy Bush?

I guess he, I don't know who he thinks he's talking to, why people want his opinion. He can't. It comes across my. feed for some reason, because I can't stop watching because it's so hateable, but like, he'll be in his car. He literally, while at a red light, he needs to address his audience like, okay, he called a piggy. And the way he talks, I hate it. And it reminds me of that story I heard. This was inside baseball a little. But a producer we know was at one of the last Johnny Carson's, because they were with Jay Leno who was taking over. Anyway, giant red carpet and Don Rickles is coming down

the carpet and Billy Bush was like, Mr. Rickles, Mr. Rickles, Mr. Rickles. He's screaming at him so much that Rickles comes over. He's like, Mr. Rickles, Mr. Rickles is like, Billy Bush. And he goes, why do I care? And Rickles just goes, why do I care? And then just kept walking. And that's exactly what I feel like every time I see Billy Bush. But this story, this is. This piggy story was all anyone could talk about for a day because Trump fixed that quick when he said it is punishable by death what Democrats have done who urge soldiers to disobey illegal orders. Trump called it seditious behavior at the highest level. Each one of these traitors to our country should be arrested and put on trial. Their words cannot be allowed to stand. We won't have a country

anymore. An example must be set. This is really bad and dangerous to our country. Their words cannot be allowed to stand seditious behavior from traders. Lock them up, all caps, President DJT. Don't you think the guy that said lock her up for two years about Hillary and then was president for four and did not lock her up? Don't you think he dropped that slogan? Like maybe, maybe that one's got some stink on it. Who taught Donnie the big word sedacious? Seditious, I mean, sorry, sedent. I don't know it.

That's a huge word for Donnie. Three syllables. The only other three syllable word he knows, I think, is bankruptcy. Oh, shit. He's practiced that word many times. Use it a lot. I mean, I guess you shouldn't worry if he arrested you for seditious behavior because based on the January 6 rioters, you'll just get, you'll get pardoned anyway.

Yeah, right. But boy, he wants a set. I bet he's already like put like, maybe it's an execution or a hanging in a U.S. UCF, is it? UFC cage and he'll call his buddies at the UFC and it'll be a pay-per-view event. Yeah. That's how it should be done. Or maybe leave them in the prison cell that Epstein was in and they just mysteriously get hung.

Yeah. And a lot of speculation is. Donald will arrange it himself. All right. The U.S. Coast Guard will no longer classify swastikas and nooses as hate symbols. The Coast Guard will classify the Nazi era insignia as, quote, potentially divisive under its new guidelines. The policy is set to take effect December 15th just in time for the holidays. And it similarly downgrades the classification of nooses and the policies.

and the Confederate flag. So this might get confusing, by the way, if the Coast Card ever pulls over like a German Ubo with a swastika on it, if that day ever comes, because the symbols of our enemies are at worst, potentially divisive. Yeah, right, right.

Potentially devise. I remember when Sal is just tattooed mom or an anchor on their arms. Remember those days? Yeah. Mom is potential. divisive, it depends. Yeah, yeah.

This is kind of, why even do this? Why even, it's all distraction. It's all distraction. Yeah. Should we skip this next one? I kind of love that guy. All right, let's save it.

Let's save it. You want to do Ten Commandments? When it became clear to Texas High School theater teacher Gigi Servantes that she wouldn't, that she couldn't ignore a new state law requiring the Ten Commandments be posted in her Dallas-Fort Worth

classroom. She felt she had no choice. She resigned from the job she loved. The state undertakes the nation's largest attempt to hang the Ten Commandments in public schools. Quote, I just was not going to be a part of forcing or imposing religious doctrine onto my students. Wow.

Federal courts have ordered more than two dozen of the state's roughly 1,200 schools to not hang the posters. So the judge, mandated that it violates First Amendment language guaranteeing religious liberty and forbidding government establishment

of religion. That is so Texas to hang that on the wall. I heard now California is going to be hanging the coexist banner and in Florida they're going to hang up the instructions on giving CPR and Narcam to a

one-legged student who's a school shooter being attacked by an alligator. That's a lot of info. Well, it's a pamphlet, but it folds out. There's a lot of fold out pages on it. I mean, she's a theater teacher. Can't they act like it's not on the wall or pretend that they don't see it? Yes.

I mean, that's a good lesson. You know, the Ten Commandments are the basis. I looked it up for the Jewish moral code and all that. And then I saw that in the Jewish tradition. There are 613 commandments in the Torah. I think she and her students should start working on the 613 commandments, putting them up in her classroom. Yes. And see how Texas takes that.

Right. Or put up the what's in the Muslim Bible? What, the Quran? The Koran, because if those Texas boys find out you get virgins, they're fucking, they're doing whatever that book tells them to do. man uh all right quick test what are the ten commandments i'm guessing i will give you ten dollars if you can name eight of the commandments i don't know them uh i mean just from i can say what kind of everyone knows okay all right so there's you know you don't steal you don't covet thy neighbor's wife put your penis in a man's butt?

No. That's not stated. That's not number one. No, it was the 11th commandment, but it got shot down in an appeals court up in heaven. Somewhere else, it does say you don't lie or lay with a man. But, because it only spoke to men. Let's be real. So you don't steal, you don't kill, you don't covet thy neighbor's wife, you don't covet their stuff.

Right. Is that the same as wife? His wife considered stuff. No, it's two different ones. Stuff and wife are two different things. Do you not use the Lord's name in vain? Well, it's... No false idols?

It's technically... Yeah, false idols is number one. Oh, that's one? And now shall not make unto the any graven image. So I'll give you that the Lord's name in vain. Oh, all right. And then you... Oh, no, Lord's name in vain is separate.

Okay, go ahead. Oh, it is? So what am I at six? and then there's like seven I think and it's kind of like chick-fil-a you can't work on Sundays that is correct

now it's going to get I don't want to waste everyone's time with me thinking out loud I probably could get one more but I'd be I'd need time okay it's the Bible what do you do you do one to others

as you would have them doing that's the golden rule you you You. All right, you got. Oh, only one God. You can only have one God.

Yeah, you already did that one. Oh. All right, God, what? All right, so one God. He's petty. It's going to be the petty ones that I've blocked out. You miss thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. Yeah, what is that?

So don't worship anything like cars, clothes. Just worship him. He's a vain God. People complain that he. complain that he's a vain God. You forgot you got the Sabbath Day Holy. You forgot honor thy father and mother. Oh.

Oh. Okay. You got that shot like killed. I'm surprised he made room for them in honoring him alone. You got adultery. You got steal. You got lie. Did you say covet?

You said covet. I think you got eight or nine. I eat ten bucks. Well, here's the thing. They've been around thousands of years before the Bible. So it's such a. joke that this is the origin of our moral code. It's such a joke. All right. We're going down to ethical questions. I mean, think about it. We literally work on Sundays. We're the Sunday papers.

We break one commandment right out of the gate every week. And I covet Aaron. I don't tell you that. Oh, Jesus. Here we go. All right. All right. Ethical question. Okay. I'm not looking. Oh yeah, you told me not to look. I haven't seen a single one. Now, these are, we did a speed round last week. People said they liked it, so I'm going to do a speed round with you. Very fast answers. Okay. Can you ever justify war? Yes. Give an example. I mean, in the purest form, and I know it wasn't this, but stopping, going in and stopping the concentration camps. Okay. I can justify it, but I mean, yeah. Is it ethical to use genome editing to enhance children's physical or cognitive abilities? I think generally to enhance no.

I think sometimes you might say there's going to be a time where may, potentially you can change the course of what would be very sick child and that's a different question. So you can't make your kid taller if he's like, he's going to be five foot or two? No, taller. You should. There we should. What is more important, the right to free speech or the necessity to prevent cyber bullying? Oh, the right to free speech.

Okay. It's a much bigger issue. Is torture ever acceptable? Wow. You know, I would say no and then the, and then my ideas could also be called torture. Like you're just going to wait them out. Yeah.

Well, what does wait them out mean? Well, they're going to be a little hungry and they're not going to have much sleep. Right. I mean, putting somebody in a cell can be considered torture. So it's really just shades of how badly, how inhumane you treat somebody. but like I consider solitary confinement for a long period of time. That's torture. Yeah, because it's easy to be like,

yeah, I don't want to put a glass rod up their penis and then snap it. Oh. Or maybe I do. It sounds like, well, now I do. It sounds like someone might talk. Damn. Okay, finally. Is it ethical to pay children for good grades?

Who's paying them? A lot of parents pay their kids to get A's. Um, ethical? Uh, I don't know. You incentivize it. Yeah. It's like in the real world, you're going to probably make more money if you hit some goals and you're incentivized. Well, I don't know if it's ethical, but people say that if you actually want your kids to be high achievers, it's better to reward the process than the results.

Oh, right. Well, yeah. So you're just, how do you give them money? But you're into giving them money. Yep. Okay. All right. Very good. I think you passed. Unbelievable, Mike. I think people feel like you're a much better person now than they did two minutes ago. Came right. You know why? Because we just did the Ten Commandments. Ah, yes. So I really had my bearings. I knew what was what. All right. Let's get a re-crinkle for entertainment. Let's go down. Here it is. I like this story. You want to read this? On an episode of the Kardashians,

Kim surprised her sister with their dad, Robert Kardashian-Signor's Bible, which he gifted to his friend and client, O.J. Simpson. That prompted Kim to reference the long-speculated theory that Simpson is Chloe's real father. Oh, shit.

And that Chris Jenner 70 had an affair with her ex-husband. Robin's client. Quote, well, it's questionable between which one between O.J. and dad, she quipped. Quote, I know, Chloe agreed, as she said that either one counts as her father. Chloe's comment then made Kim say that her sister deserves the Bible even more because it was shared between both Simpson and Robert. Both of my dads, give it to me, Chloe agreed. Admitz the conversation, Jenner, who was seated with her daughters at the table, remained silent. She didn't contribute at all, but could be seen scrolling on her phone in certain shots.

Huh. I think that in that Bible, Robert redacted the part about thou shalt not kill. It was just nine commandments in the Bible that he gave O.J. Get the glove, man. Chloe should try on the glove if the glove fits, Chloe's illegitutes. Nice wheeze. It's hilarious. Jesus.

I know I'm trying not to laugh. You know, maybe they should be more focused on the conversation about the fact that six of them were fathered by a person who now wears size 13 blonics and poodle skirts. I mean, those are the ones they should be really wondering who the father is. I mean, I've told you about that family.

So they used to go to Cabo. these families for Christmas every year. It was Robert and Chris Kardashian, the Jenner's and the Simpsons. Those were the six adults. I put the word adult in quotes. And now listen what the kids witnessed over time. They witnessed Uncle Juice,

allegedly slaughtering Aunt, Nicole. And then possibly Chris, mom, sleeping with Uncle Juice, according to this story. They then see their dad defend Juice, the murderer.

Meanwhile, Uncle Bruce, Uncle Bruce divorces his wife and marries mom after her divorce. Has two kids with her. Has two kids with her and then becomes a she. Do you know that that show...

Think about those six adults that I just went through. Yeah, that show has had... I heard this on an interview yesterday. 25 seasons. That show has been on the air. There's enough material there. I mean, writers. Writers would never come up with the scenario you just described.

They couldn't. And the show barely touched on that because then they all had their little dramas with the choices in men and also disfiguring themselves. So they're unrecognizable. And they slapped the shit out of each other sometimes. I love it. It's great TV. All right.

Let's make America, Florida. I'm going to make America, Florida, right about now. Florida man opens, okay, Florida man opens fire during argument on how many eggs a chicken. can lay. A late night chat about chickens took a bizarre turn in Florida after a man known as Farmer Pete allegedly opened fire outside a bar during an argument over egg production. Police say no one was injured, but several arrests followed. I need to know more about this story, and it wasn't in this article I found. Well, I think Farmer Pete is more interested in how many dudes a chicken can lay. That thing has got a lot of hands on it. That thing gets held a lot of

lot. I mean, it's almost like the age old. I'm surprised they weren't arguing over crossing the road. Like, why did the chicken cross the road? But how many? Those are the ethical questions that they get into in Florida. This is why everyone should have guns because you're in an argument like this. And in most states, you're like, well, what do we do now? Because we can't agree on the amount of eggs. Florida has figured that out. So is Texas. Yes. There's a logical ending. Yes, totally. Speaking of it. A Texas, here we go. You know, sometimes I have to look up a Texas man and then I come up empty-handed or they're all

unbelievably tragic, terrible dark stories. So then I'll look up Texas wo man. And that's what I did here. A Texas woman pleads guilty after 78 pounds of cocaine was found during a Texas traffic stop. Authorities stopped the one while she was driving, a white BMW SUV, for a speed violation. Okay, if I had 78 pounds of cocaine in my car, here's two things you could absolutely count on.

I would set cruise control below the speed limit by a few miles per hour. I would also, unlike me, come to complete stops at every stop sign. Yes. That's just a given. And I would not be in a brand new BMW SUV. I would be in a Volkswagen Bissot. It says there was 78 pounds. Something tells me there were 79 pounds when she started the trip.

Well, that's why the BMW was white. It was not white when it started in Mexico. So a K-9 alerted law enforcement to the vehicle and investigators subsequently discovered an aftermarket compartment in the rear hatch containing 78 pounds of cocaine. She admitted she had picked up the cocaine in Mexico, brought it across the border through a port of entry. She also stated she planned to deliver the large drug shipment to North Carolina for 10 grand. And she said she had made previous trips involving similar large quantities of cocaine. Poor North Carolina. Jesus, she really sang like a canary.

Chatty Kathy. And then I did this. And then I did that. Oh, you think this is something. This is my 11th delivery. How dare you? Further proves that she did a pound of that. cocaine. She couldn't shut the fuck up.

All right, we're going to sports. Here we go, sports. Simone Biles recently confirmed she got breast implants. Too late. And now she's sharing more details about the surgery admitting in a Q&A with fans. It was painful as hell. The Olympic legend answered some questions from her 5.5 million followers on TikTok telling fan she opted to go through with 310 cc of high profile extra filled silicon. Uh, y'all lied, Biles said, this shit hurts so bad. Your girl could not move by herself. So I did take the full two weeks and I'm glad I did because my recovery was rough.

She said her husband, Chicago Bears safety, Jonathan Owens, had to help her throughout her recovery. Oh, that's nice of her during, did she do it during the same? season, especially in the days after surgery when he literally had to help her get up so she could use the bathroom. I thought she was tough. Yeah, I wonder how he picked her up. Well, like many gymnasts, she might, yeah, like many gymnasts, she might have to get ovary implants after bashing her ovaries on those uneven bars her whole life. Yeah, when you're landing a front flip into a split, you might have shaken. talking about arguing about where eggs come from.

I wonder if there is statistics on how many of them are not childbearing or whatever they're fertile, I guess, after their careers. Well, usually when they train that hard, they say they stop having their periods. Right. Oh, I do know that. Well, listen, maybe she'll come back. Is there a trampoline competition in the summer games with her new rack? Everyone will see that.

I think she's going to try to throw a double back and throw like a one and a half back with the extra weight. She's not used to carrying. Do we want to do this disgusting international story? No, we don't have to do that. All right. Here's the short version. Kid put a, what are it in here? We are going to do it.

No, no, never mind. We're not going to do it. Okay, here we go. We're going down. You're losing your voice. Are we going down to this day in history? Let's talk about this day in history. People like to know what happened on this exact date in previous years.

All right. It was a little slow, but I got some. I got some. Here we go. We're going to start with, yes, the horror classic Frankenstein, based on a stage adaptation of Mary Shelley's 1818. novel, which we discussed earlier in the podcast, was released in the United States, and it helped make the hulking monster who was portrayed by Boris Karloff, one of the most recognizable characters

in film history. So, this is the film. Oh, no, sorry, the stage adaptation. Oh, the stage adaptation. Boris Karloff was in the stage adaptation. Okay. What year was the stage? Is that right? Okay. Anyway, that's, we're going to, that's, I read every word. Uh, give or take, uh, give or take 15 years. All right. I'm going to go 19, 16.

What did I say? 15 years. And you said what? 1916. That's unbelievable. It's 1931. I nailed it. That's ridiculous.

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. I cannot implore the listeners enough to not see the new Frankenstein. What a waste of time. All right. The Verrazano Narrows Bridge spanning New York Harbor from Brooklyn to Staten Island, which is the start of every New York City Marathon, was opened to traffic on this day in what year,

give or take, 15 years. All right. The bridge was designed or not designed, but it was funded and done by Robert Moses. He was in office from the 1930s until the 1970s. I would guess this bridge was done about halfway through that tenure. So I'm going to say 1950. Good Lord. What I say 15?

Yeah 1964 No fucking way You shouldn't be that happy I'm giving you a 30 year window A win is a win It's a W Oh my God

All right Let's see here I thought I had another one here I do I do Russian author Leo Tolstoy Suffering from pneumonia Died of a heart failure

At the Railroad's of Estapovo, estopavo. I don't know how you pronounce that. What year did Leo Tolstoy die on this day? Give or take, let's go with 15 years again. All right.

I know that he was friends with Stalin. He was part of that whole Russian aristocracy scene. I'm going to say, so that was in the early 40s, I'm going to say he died then. in 51. 1951. Yeah.

1910. What? I know. Well, the revolution, revolution was 1917, right? Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Okay. Yeah. Right.

Right. Okay. You might know this because I think you've, and I know I have to watch the crown. I have not. I'm very bad at the aristocracy over there. The future royalty. The future queen Elizabeth Vitt second married Philip Mountbatten, a word we covered a few weeks ago, at Westminster Abbey.

When did QE2, although she wasn't that yet, marry Prince, he became Prince Philip? Yeah. Not King. Give or take, five years. All right, I watched the crown and I watched the wedding. And then they toured, they went to Australia on a plane. So commercial flight was going on at the time. Wow, look at you.

I think it was pretty new. So I'm going to say that would have been in the 1940s, 1938. You missed it. 1947. Shit. I said 40s to start with and then I changed it. God damn it. Wasn't her, when did her father die, right?

then and maybe was the war I don't know it was right after that it was right after that so I think that's what so you knew the war was going on I guess all right that's that's gonna do it you did like you think you did well I started strong you were generous with the time span but I took advantage of it there was no real I mean again with all due respect no major obituary and and we've been on a run of that. It's nice for the holidays. I know this is going to be hard. Some of you are coming from the funerals of loved ones. Perhaps your mother died and you felt strongly about her. You loved her. We did not. We just don't care. And we're being literal. Please treat us like AI. We're just being

literal here. Yes. We literally don't care that your mother died this week. It didn't even cross our minds. No, we're glad you're listening to the show, but only so that we can sell more of these products that are ads, whatever that company's called. And we're being, like calling you Piggy to your face, we're being honest and transparent and open and kinder than everybody else who pretends to care or doesn't say anything. Okay, we are then going to the funnies. Here we go. Are there no letters this week? There were no letters, although, you know, you can always draw from the, uh, Oh, I forgot to do that.

If you want. I forgot to do that, although we touched base on someone did write to us about doing a rapid fire ethical questions. So we got to, okay, we are going to the funniest. Here we go. Oh, man, do I have a funny one to kick it off from the onion? It's fantastic. They are so consistently great.

This one is. it's a picture of crying j d vance and it says jd vans cries in bathroom after trump uses piggy nickname on someone else it's perfect it's good it's great uh the comedy caption contest happens every week that i remember to do it we give you one frame of a comic you then write us some punch lines we read the ones we like the most and then pick the best. That person gets a coozy from Sunday papers mailed right to their house in the next 18 months and the glory of being read on the air.

Please send them into Fitzdog Radio at gmail.com. Do me a favor. Put your name right underneath your comedy joke of material. Last week's caption is a mime, and he's being held against a wall by a police officer who is cuffing him. and that's all you need to know. Yeah.

Matt from Peoria said, you have the right to remain. Dot, dot, dot, never mind. That is very, you know, it's very professional. Maybe we saw it coming, you know, and all that, but I could also see that in a magazine. We got about seven of those, that premise.

I guess that's what I met. One that was similar, Flesh Tree wrote. You have the right to remain French, though we will use it against you. At least they were bored with the silent. Anthony said the my minority experience in America. I like that a lot. I'm not laughing, but I'm impressed.

Well, wordplay is always acceptable as long as it's at a very high level. You know who doesn't do wordplay? Who? Mimes. That's right. Matt Peters said mime and punishment. I don't mind that either. Ron said if a mom gets raped in prison, does he make a sound?

Ron jumped ahead to assuming this guy's guilty. Yep. Okay. Don Porter said, I heard what you thought, asshole. Interesting. Okay. Brian Rischel said to improve their public image, ICE agents began targeting the French. I like it.

Michael Dean said, hey, pal, if he can't do the time, don't do the mime. All right. I mean, that is just wordplay for the sake. of fun. Kenny Engel said you have the right to continue to remain silent. You do she hack. Oh, Kenny got almost like impatient with his premise and then like lit it on fire. Yes.

Okay. Kenny's edgy. We've learned that about Kenny over the years. No one talked about his cell being glass. Like no one, you know when mimes do that? Right. or the joke, you know, once I cuff you, you not only will have the right to remain silent, you'll have the inability to communicate.

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. All right. All right, let's pick a winner. It sounds like if we want to go safe, you have the right to remind, never mind. It was very good. You did like the pun, the mine minority experience in America and mime and punishment. I did like those.

I have to see if I have two coosies left, but we're on back order. We have been for about a year. What do you think? Let's go with, because it was the first one of the premise, you have the right to remain, never mind. We're giving it to Matt in Peoria, Illinois. Congratulations, Matt. Who wrote crime and punishment? Dostoevsky?

Not told story, but we're covering a bunch of great Russian authors today. Yep. Yeah. Let's get down to the pros. We've got Hagger and Lucky. You're standing underneath a tower. There's a new caption contest in there. You don't have to describe it. I think people will see it. It's with cowboys in the old wild west. There's a cowboy walking on the street. He's clearly a gun slinger. I don't think you have to describe it. I don't know. I thought about that. I don't know what purpose that serves. Well, because some people listen to the podcast. They don't all watch it. So you think those people are going to write a caption based on your description and send it in? 100%.

Okay, go ahead. Sorry. So the gunslingers walking down the street. There's a saloon in the background. They're on the street. And then he's got a little person on his back. A little cowboy. Yes, a little cowboy.

He's got a rope holding him to his back. His feet are off the ground. and the little person has two guns out and he's pointing them behind him. Right. Very specific one. I'll be curious to see what people come up. I'll be curious to see what people come up with for this one.

Okay. All right. All right. Hagger and Lucky are beneath the tower. There is a beautiful golden-haired damsel in distress. This is a series on Rapunzel. Okay. Lucky says,

Ruponzel, let down your hair. And she goes, no, I'm waiting for a prince. and then Lucky says to Hager, she won't let down her expectations. No, I think she just doesn't want to be molested today. Yeah. I don't even get that let down. Okay.

All right. The Lockhorns were on fire this week. I'm not going to lie to you. Loretta's looking at a bill, and she says to Leroy, they don't have to go too far to be above your pay grade, do they? Ah. Looking at his check. Yeah.

And then we got Leroy and Loretta are having coffee and there's a haughty. She's taking a selfie of herself. And Leroy goes, influencers. Did we used to call that peer pressure? Eh. All right, this one will save it. I mean, it's smart. Loretta walks in the door.

We know she's a bad driver. She's got the steering wheel in her hand. of the car and she goes, I had a flat tire. They haven't found the other three yet. I mean, she's shots fired at herself. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. And then finally, they're walking down. She's walking with a friend in a mall. And she goes, I tried to get Leroy to go mall walking, but I think he prefers pub crawling. Okay. I mean, AI, I think is writing a bunch of these now. All right, all right.

All right. Our friend, our lover in our minds, Blondie, sits at a table with the family. I don't know why the kids are still there. They've got to be in their early 50s at this point, but they don't age. And dopey says, well, kids, since mom had to work late tonight, I was in charge of dinner. What do you think? The daughter goes, this is Lou's meatloaf and potatoes from the diner, isn't it, Daddy? And he goes, your mom's got her tricks.

I've got mine. Well, you know what? He did something. He did something. And he didn't eat all the food. He actually left enough for the family to dine on. Yeah. Which is a huge step.

But what disrespect to Blondie who worked late? She worked late. She put in overtime. And not only that, she did her hair. Her hair is quaffed. She has on a beautiful blue chemise. And he could be getting some action after dinner. The way to a woman's heart is three.

her stomach, dopy. Oh, boy. He's never been in her stomach. Let's face it. No, no, no. We want to thank the people at Skank Fest for an unbelievable week this year. That sounded incredible. Is that the new home of Skangfest? Do you think? Yeah, oh, for sure. They, this venue was, they put up two giant tents. What was the venue? Showrooms. There was one, two, three, four, maybe five different actual performance spaces plus a boxing ring outside plus, you know, food stations. And there was so much going on. Napoleon, no laws. To Dave and Jay.

What was the venue? Do you know? Yeah, it was called Mardi Gras World. Oh, wow. And it's right. How close to the French quarter? 15 minutes. And were there any musical acts?

There was one. opening night there was a heavy metal band so i didn't even go inside they were super heavy metal uh and then the final show of the whole event they do the comedians all play instruments and they do a concert where different comics get on stage and perform and there's a thousand people in the audience and they go crazy nice it sounded like it was pretty organized and everything it was incredibly organized shout out to christine who's jay's wife and uh she pulled it all together and rebecca very nice very cool That's it. All right.

I mean, I think that's, oh, it's happy Thanksgiving, everyone, isn't it? Oh, happy Thanksgiving. Well, yeah, it'll be this Thursday by the time you hear this. It's coming Thursday. So much to be thankful for. Thank you guys for listening to the show. Thanks for contributing the songs, the art, the jokes for the captions, the mail that we get all the time. It means so much to us.

So a heartfelt thank you. Especially to all those people who write a caption for a cartoon they've never seen, just based on Greg's description. Please let me know when you write in your joke whether or not you saw it and did not see it. I'd be curious. Yeah, I am too. All right. All right, everybody. Take itish.

Take itish. All right. Yeah. Sunday morning, baby. Coffee's brewing. Truth's stew. Greg and Mike They got the headlines with a side of attitude

They slide and smooth With a pen in each hand Telling tales of the we From this crazy land Got jokes so sharp They'll cut through the spin When the world gets weird That's when they did

We got la