Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers W Greg And Mike Ep 291 113025

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Thanksgiving roundup and Mamdani makes some wild picks for his transition team. Campbells soup knows they suck and a 95 yr-old Texas man still drives the bus. UNCOMMONGOODS.com/PAPERS ⁠for 15% off! Watch Greg’s latest special, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest” Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Find Mike on Venmo here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTime⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmons⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every day the news is insane. White knuckle what you can and make it the Sunday. Greg and Mike will sum of the week and help you laugh it off so the world looks less bleak. Sunday papers podcast is a rich. Three, two, one. Read all about it. Read all about it. Sunday papers fresh off the presses.

You can almost smell the ink. Happy Thanksgiving weekend, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving weekend. We hope that you guys enjoyed it as much as we did. We're still enjoying it. We are, and we spent it together. We had dessert together, which was fun. Sounds totally straight and heterosexual.

Who is? Apparently, we're not. By the way, you described us spending dessert together. Well, we were with the straightest gay man in America, Tom O'Neill. Was very true. What a good hang. My mom fucking loved. My mom loves you guys.

And when it's just us sitting around with Aaron and especially with the kids there for a little while, it's just, you know, it's just she loves good Irish storytelling. And that's what we do for two hours. And then on the way out, your mom's like, you know, her nephew is it? is Denny McCarthy? Yes. Arguably the best golf putter in the world. There are lots of arguments to be made for that. So she pulled them aside, leaving a church, I guess some christening or family wedding,

and literally grabbed them and just goes, I got to ask, like grabs his arm and goes, I got to ask you something. I hope it wasn't a funeral, by the way. I got to ask you something. When you're putting, is it mostly your left arm or your right arm? And so she grabs me like she's grabbing. him and I get this intense whisper from your mom. And then your mom backs up into putting stance and then tells me the advice. So the advice was from the best putter in the world.

He's like, no, it's mostly left arm. I use the right just to stabilize it. And then what I do is I pick two points. I pick two points, not one, on the way to the hole. And that reminded me of this, anyway, this ski racing instructor who like yelled at the team because he was like, you need two points to make a turn. The first point, the first gate that you're turning around means nothing unless you know where the next gate is. And it kind of reminds me of that. So anyway, it reminds me of sacks. There's two points before the hole, the tits. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. It's a little more complicated. There's two holes. Cheat, cheat, cheat, yeah.

Well, three. So I get out, I played golf Friday morning, which like all of a sudden, Mikey's like, hey, I got my usual spot, and I didn't know we had it. So we went out there. It was just Dickie me and Mikey. And so I tell them that. And Mikey, who is like kind of not a good putter, starts draining them. No.

I'm not exaggerating when I say, I think it was his best putting day. I've ever seen. So that tip cost you money? We were not playing. It was very enjoyable. Dennis was up north. I'm not saying that's why it was enjoyable. It was just a different tone out there.

And we actually kind of almost forgot to gamble. And it was just the three of us. Beautiful. It's really, it was beautiful weather. And then three instead of five is such a joy. Yeah. Oh,

they didn't give you two other people. It was just the three of you. Exactly. Oh, that's nice. Very nice. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah.

So Thanksgiving, we had a smaller one than usual. And I do think, I thought of a joke about Thanksgiving, which is like, there's so much, usually this, like, we have the most peaceful, enjoyable Thanksgiving. Like, our family really does get along. But you think about most families, there's a reason why God put triptophan in the turkey. So everybody will shut the fuck up after the meal. I put codeine in the gravy. I went I did mine at my sisters and so Grandma Carmen is over there and it's George's mom who's lovely and but she's experienced she's in dementia and but is so sweet and I've told you about it

before it's like my it's really surprised my sister how you know normally it's like oh an in-law who really needs a lot of it she can't do anything so a lot of attention you would think that would be a very stressful and instead it's just inspiring because she's just so positive. So two things. One is I made the best mashed potatoes I've ever made in my life. And part of it was lucky. Anyway, I bring them over.

I bring sides over about stuffing mashed potatoes. George is cooking hens, which is our Thanksgiving tradition over there. And the recipe is Grandma Carman's hen recipe. So he loves that he's able to like, you know, feed her on Thanksgiving, her recipe. So anyway, long story short, he comes back in with a big frown on his face. He's like, well, Grandma Carmen's finished. Potatoes are gone. Hens are untouched.

So that was a huge win for me. Didn't even eat. Did not even eat her own hens. Did not even. In your face, George. And then the other quick Grandma Carvin story is Laura goes, no, it's unbelievable with the sweetness. She's like, so the other day I was helping get her dressed. And I'm like, and she's like, Grandma Carmen, you have the most adorable, cute, like tiny feet.

they're like size five or something like that. And she's like, no, no, no, no, they're terrible. They're terrible. And she's like, no, you really do. Like, they're so sweet. Look at them. Look how, look how petite they are. And she's like, no.

And she puts her foot out and he goes, no, look, look how big and disgusting or whatever else. And Laura's like, you think that's big. And Laura has like a size nine foot. Laura puts hers out and goes, no, I mean, look at this. And grandma Carmen was like, oh. Like, that's the other thing about dementia. there's just no hiding and honest reaction. And this is the sweetest.

She finds something to compliment. Like Laura comes down to stairs and more, she's like, look how lovely you look. And she'll maybe say that to her two or three times in the same morning because each time is new for her. But this one, Laura put out her foot and she was like, oh, wow.

And then didn't say anything, like tried to move on. I know, dementia is funny because you hear about some people get all. Alzheimer's and they get like that. They get super sweet, very thankful. And then other people get really rageful and impatience. And so I mean, who knows? I know. I'm, it's where it's going to go. I think I'm going to be the, and it's mostly women who are guys, I think, get more frustrated, especially from what I've heard. Well, kind of like us, not remembering a name at all. But when it's starting and they're conscious of it.

I've heard it can be very frustrating. I'm sure a lot of our listeners have experience with that with their, with their folks. And then a lot of guys will start to talk about their affairs. Yikes. Yeah, they forget that they're not supposed to talk about them anymore. So now you've got a woman who's your full-time caretaker and your life is in her hands and now she knows you were a philanderer your whole life.

Yeah, because you're not forgetting those. Those are going to be the last things you forget. Hold on of those. Those trists. I think I might be the grumpy one. But I also have a give up valve. And if I hit that, I think I'll just be like this whole thing's absurd. And like, I guess maybe let everything go.

Yeah. And then you can just rewatch the same movies you love over and over again. I've already started that. I already started that. My mother flew out. She does not have dementia. But she is not very technologically. capable. So she flew out and she's like, she's like, yeah, I couldn't really get the movie thing to

work that well. And so I ended up, I did find a movie. It was Chinese. So I watched that. It was in Chinese. What? I guess like, you know, they offered Chinese movies for Chinese flyers, you know, and that's, that's what it landed on. So that's what she watched. It's a little wordy, a little too. Oh, and this to this. All right, so tonight, if you listen to this today, I'm in Phoenix at the Desert Something improv, if you want to come down. So I'm on stage last night, and there's a woman from Thailand,

and I said, are you lady boy or lady? Because I see a lot of videos of that in Thailand. Like, that's what they say to the women on the street. So she says, I'm lady, and she goes, oh and this is my mom this is my this is my adopted mom

who was a white woman and I said oh and are you still with her father it's the father's tie and I go are you still with the father she goes no we got divorced I go oh so you're untied nice and I got nothing from the crowd

and I stopped the show and I turned to them and I said I can't continue doing a show where a joke like that does not get. Good for you. If not an applause break, a good solid chuckle. You should have asked Arizona to vote on it. That always goes smoothly.

That's right. The logo this week is from Bob. It is Marjorie Teller Green, who's like the comeback kid. All of a sudden, everybody's like, oh, hey, you know, she's okay, actually. She's great. No, she's an anti-Semite election denier. She's awful. Let's not, please let's not cleanse her.

It's Stockholm syndrome. It's like she's come in the room for a few years and has absolutely beaten us over the heads. And now she's bringing in treats. The song this week, by the way, more and more, people talk about that. And all she's saying is what we've been saying all along. I mean, so how are we giving her credit?

Jewish lasers. You know, I always talk about that. Yeah. On and on. People talk about that that Thor song from last week should be the permanent song. On the hard act to follow. But boy, I like this one this week. Emmett Hall.

Put one in that is offbeat. I don't know. What genre would you call that? I don't know. It was just aggressive lyrics. It was a sprint. I loved it. I think it's a whole new genre of music.

Corrections. This one comes in. This is a long one. I'm going to have to skim through this a little bit. Oh, it's about me. Don't skim. In episode 290, Mike said you do not have to describe. the cartoons. I've never watched the podcast because I listen when I'm driving. I don't know how people

find the time to watch. I agree. I've sent a joke in once or twice. I used to talk text while driving. It just didn't come out well. The idea that most listeners are actually, viewers seems unlikely. You should check the analytics. I did. We have about 70 or 80 percent listeners and about 10 to 20 percent. viewers. Yeah. Yeah. And then we got... Oh, I thought he was going to comment. So is he saying he would send in jokes based on your verbal description? Yes, and they were not good. Yeah, he goes, you still read it and called it terrible, which was fair. I like how fair he is about that. And how fair I am about his comics. Yeah. The next one from Rames-Lanka says, I'm afraid you may be confusing who you accused of submitting AI songs and who actually is submitting them.

It turns out it was Blake Levan who submitted the killer song that I said must be AI. And then the next episode, I talked about how he did a video of him re-recording it, but it was actually Thor. Anyway. Oh, FitzFact Palooza. Yeah. So I think it was actually, my apologies. Is it Blake LeVon? let us know

because I got to make sure this Thor song is real. If we're going to make it our permanent song, it's got to be real. All right. And then we got tour dates coming up. San Francisco Punchline, December 11th to 13th. Those shows sell out. Get your tickets now.

Then I'll be at Bananas somewhere in New Jersey, December 26th and 27th. Cleveland hilarity is January 8th through 10th. Atlanta. Austin, Sacramento, Philly, Lexington, Houston, Fort Worth. Get tickets at

Fitzdog.com. You know what else you want to get, Mike? You're busy. Yeah, man. Listen, it is officially shopping season. And don't do the usual. Don't do the impersonal. Don't do the corporate. Go to Uncommon Goods.

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Get 15% off your next gift. Go to uncommongoods.com slash papers. That's uncommongoods.com slash papers for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary. There you go. All right.

Let's get a crinkle. Here's the crinkle. Oh man, so right now, wait, one thing is this Michigan, Ohio State Games on, I got to tell Dickie, no spoilers. Hold on, no spoilers, although that was a spoiler that I just read, doing podcast. All right. Yeah, exciting, though, man, this Michigan game, which is paused in my living room, it's halftime, but snowing over 100,000. and Tom Brady, Michigan guy, did the pregame, and he's there with his kids at the game, I guess.

But, you know, my daughter wore her Michigan gear on the way to work today, but she was there. I think she is going to realize the sweet spot. I guess it's looking that way today, too, because 10 years before she went there, they lost to Ohio State all 10 years. She's there for four years. They beat Ohio State four of her four years

and win a national title. Like it was the craziest thing. And it looks like the fifth year now, they're up against it and they're supposed to lose. And they are losing right now. Yeah, that was like the first year I got Owen into football, you know, we're Giants fans and they won the Super Bowl. And he's like, that was great.

I'm out. Yeah. That's what you do. No, same. I got out of baseball after the, and when I was a Mets fan my whole life, they won the 86 World Series. I don't think I ever watched another regular season game of baseball.

after that. I was like, this is never going to get better. Well, I've told you, I always wondered that about Red Sox Nation and the Patriots too. I, you know, even from afar, I really liked the Cubbies. You know, they weren't my team, but I just love

that underdog and stuff, you know, lovable losers. And the, the Rangers, as you know, were the lovable losers kind of in hockey. And it was 1940. That was the chant in every arena. and then when they won it in the 90s, 94, I think 94, when they won it, it really changed the identity for me a little bit. Like I wasn't, there was something a little like, oh, my team, of course I was thrilled and I was rooting for them like really strongly.

But, and that's, I wanted nothing more. But once it happened, I was like, oh, like my identity as a Ranger fan has changed because he's, identity of the Rangers have changed. Yes. And it was weird. Like I wasn't as, I wasn't as bloodthirsty. Right. And the exact opposite happened to everybody in New England.

Like they be, it just ramped up like, fuck you were the bad. And like with the Patriots, with the Red Sox, it was like more, more, more. Like, we're due. We're overdue. And I'm sure some Ranger fans were that way. But I wasn't. It was interesting. I think the Cowboys were like that when they were great back in the 70s and they're still going.

Still going strong. Yeah, I know. So George, we went over there for Thanksgiving and, you know, he's a giant Dallas fan. He grew up in Oklahoma, sorry, in Tulsa. And he is so superstitious also, but he's so heartbroken by the Cowboys. He doesn't allow his family put the game on. he won't watch it yeah i mean he's cooking in a kitchen which is open to the living room on thanksgiving like if this this was made for him the problem is he's a cowboys fan and he feels

traumatized by them so he can't even watch them wow and they won yep i know i'm shepherd all right speaking of thanksgiving here we go we got from i think i crinkled you crinkled a college freshman trying to what we are right we're post crinkle yes a college freshman trying to fly from Boston to Texas to surprise her family for Thanksgiving was instead deported to Honduras in violation of a court order. So there was still a very big surprise. That's the good news. Amy Lucia Lopez Belosa, well, if all those words are on the passport, they're going to ask some questions. She's 19, had already passed through security at Boston Logan International Airport when she was told there was an issue with her boarding pass. The Babson College student was then detained by

immigration officials and within two days sent to Texas and then Honduras, the country she left at age seven. The day after she was arrested, a federal judge issued an emergency order prohibiting the government from moving her out of Massachusetts or the U.S. for at least 72 hours. ICE did not respond to an email from the Associated Press asking them why they violate them. Why they violated that order. Babson College also did not respond to email. Anyway, she is staying with her grandparents in Honduras, said she's been looking forward to telling her parents and younger sisters about her first semester studying business. Yeah, a lot of business going on in Honduras these days. You better learn to trade. I'll tell you, it's, it, some people will do

anything to avoid seeing their family during the holidays. I had this similar thought, which was this is when it happens. I don't know if it still does, but famously for us. You go away your freshman year, very often, especially in liberal arts, you have to take a history class of some sort, or maybe it's humanities, whatever, or even philosophy. But you are exposed to a professor like you've never seen in high school. And what happens is Thanksgiving break is the first time you tell your parents what an awful country America is. Like that's when all the kids go home like,

Do you know the Constitution says a black man is three-fifths of a white man and all this stuff? And it's like, boy, does she have something to say about America after her first semester at college? Well, now there's, I don't know, I only read headlines in my news feed. So I don't know whole stories. But there was something about how the judges challenged ICE's ability to deport people without due process and giving them a hearing. and that that might be changing. They might have to actually house people here before they deport them to give them a trial,

which is basically what was going on prior to this whole ICE campaign. Well, the Republicans are nothing if they're not like a self-surviving driven machine. And they are seeing the Latino vote, which they just saw in the elections that happened, is leaving them. Like they're like even what I'll call misguided Latino voters who are voting against their own interest, even though they're still agree with Mag on a lot of things or they think they do, they are like too far. Too many moms and you're showing up that that is not what you said you would do. And so it's a bridge too far for them. Well, I think it's not only Latinos.

I think they're losing a lot of their base. A lot of their base said they were told that ICE was going to arrest criminals and deport them, not go to Home Depot and get a bunch of hardworking guys that have been here for 15 years and send them out of the country. So, you know, I think in general it's a bad look. I don't think people like the military in their cities. I think there's a lot of aggressiveness that's not going to pay off for them in the next election. Right. So in May of this year, North Texas law enforcement officials utilized thousands of license plate surveillance cameras in an attempt to find a prosecutor woman who had recently had an abortion, despite repeated claims that the query had merely been a welfare check.

Authorities in Johnson County initiated the death investigation of a non-viable fetus. Wow, a death investigation of a non-viable fetus. After being called to the home where they were told the woman had taken oral abortion medications, officers were then shown evidence of what the man thought was a fetus. Within hours, they utilized 83,000 license-plate cameras made by the to find the woman. They found several hits in Dallas, where she was later found. The reason why for the search listed in the flock database by local authorities, was, quote, had an abortion, search for female.

And actuality, the woman had taken the medication two weeks prior. All right. Well, listen, the problem, I mean, they're using the cars and everything in the scanning. She's got to think better about this. The giveaway was on the way there. She took the carpool lane because she counted the fetus as a passenger. And then on the way home, she knew she couldn't go in the carpool lane. She was in the single lane.

She had to take the no baby on board sign off on the ride home. Yeah, exactly. They found, that was the evidence. They found a torn up baby on board side. They also checked her closet when they got to her house and counted the hangers. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Mom Dami's historic victory in New York made him the city's first Muslim mayor.

Yeah. And the youngest since 1890. He appointed 400 people to 17 transition committees to help him build his government. Among these is trans rabbi Abby Stein. Of course, right-winger immediately expressed outrage at Stein's appointment with one online commentator scathingly labeling her as a transgender and anti-Zionist and a member of Jewish voice for peace Gaza. iconic activist Matt Bernstein, who is also Jewish, however, responded, quote,

so in other words, an absolute queen. All righty, Matt. Well, who is better suited to being on a transition team than a woman who started as a man? They should call the whole team trans. Everyone's trans at this point in his administration. It's what they do. It's at their core. They take one thing and they turn it into another one.

Then she'll be put in transportation. That's what she's going to head up next. There you go. He's very savvy. He's like, all right, listen, like closed door and meeting. He's like, all right, I'm going to assign. I'm going to put a Jewish person in charge. Oh, wow, that'll be great.

That'll get a lot of heat off you for being anti-Semitic. He's like, hold on, hear me out. Not only is she. It's like, why are you making quotes, sir? Hold on, hear me out. Not only is she an anti-Zionist, but she used to be a he. Yeah. It's like that pisses off everybody.

No one, I can't imagine, I mean, other than the trans community, they're the only ones happy with this. The Jews aren't happy. The Muslims aren't happy. General New Yorkers probably aren't happy. Trump is. He loves him. Loves everything he does. Big fan.

Trump loves the guy. Campbell's company said on Wednesday, it has fired in a. executive who was recorded making racist comments and mocking the company's products and customers. Martin Bally, a vice president, during a meeting, allegedly described Campbell as, quote, highly processed food and said it was for poor people. Check. Bally said racist remarks about Indian workers whom he called idiots. He also said that he often went to work high after consuming marijuana edibles.

Oh, yeah. Many nights in college. I was high eating grilled cheese sandwiches dunked in Campbell's tomato soup. Sometimes not even heated up. You are fancy. Craft wrapped cheese, wonder bread, highly processed soup. Yes. It's funny you say that because I now am remembering this is how either wasted or high or at maybe at best lazy we were.

I don't remember heating up one can of Chef Boyardy in college. Yeah. And never used a bowl. I probably threw out the fork instead of washing it after I ate Chef Boyardy, R.D. Ravioli with a fork out of the can. I would boil macaroni and then I would take the tomato sauce out of the jar and pour it onto it. I never heated the sauce separately. Right.

Yeah. Port Campbell, it seems like they're firing the guy who knows the company best. Like, when you're a company, you got to watch out for those staff members with institutional knowledge. And that's what this guy seemed to have. He's speaking truth to power, but he is the power. That's the problem. He is the power. All right.

We're moving on to ethical questions. All right. It's your turn. Yeah, I got him. I got him. We're just going to go right in a row. Okay, can I use my parents address to get our kids into a better school? Well, we kind of did that, but not really.

We lived in Venice, and my kids went to a Santa Monica public school. It's a better school system. But the reason they got in is they have a Spanish immersion program, and they needed non-Spanish speakers in the school. It was mostly Latinos, a lot of kids from undocumented families, And so we went because we wanted our kids to be in kind of a diverse community and to learn Spanish. So we were out of district, but a lot of the kids that went to other Santa Monica schools used addresses. But I think it's wrong because then you're asking your kids to lie.

Your kids are going to have to lie about where they live because they do enforce it. If they find out you don't live there, they will throw you out. Santa Monica is really hard about that. That's why I live where I live. Yeah. I had to get the zip code. You moved to Santa Monica so you could go to their schools. Yeah.

My ex, Liz, wanted to move out of Santa Monica, but so if you want to go to Santa Monica high school, which we love the idea. Yeah, we love the idea that, yeah, so how did you do it? Once they start at Edison, the elementary school, the Spanish immersion, once you're in it, the Spanish immersion. all the way through high school. So they were still taking two Spanish classes a day all the way through high school. And then Rabi's kids, get this, it's a good policy.

You know, Santa Monica is incredibly liberal. I mean, they're terribly run and misguided, in my very personal opinion. But they begin with very liberal outlook. And so one thing they have is if you work in Santa Monica, because what they're thinking of a lot of times is the single parent. and the drop off. Who might work. So Rebe does work.

His office is in Santa Monica. And so that's how his kids are in there. Yeah. Or also if like you, if there's a massage parlor near the school, not within 100 yards. Okay. And you frequent it.

Next ethical question. Do we have to spend the holidays with my parents? The sub sentences. Time with the extended family isn't particularly. restful or enjoyable for us. Yes, you do. I'm a big believer in family. We all have dysfunctional families,

but you don't get new families. You make it work. It's a life lesson in acceptance and love unconditionally. I think within reason, if there's not abuse, you show up and you do it. It's more complicated than that, though.

And of course, my life growing up, you know, with divorced parents. But let's say even the parents are together. So based on that, let's talk about like our parents. So both of your parents, when you were in like, you know, whatever, 10th grade, they each have a set of parents. So now are you splitting up your parents because they're going with their parents? I literally have never met a member of my father's family.

His parents died when they're in their 40s. Oh, no. And he had a brother. Oh, so you got very lucky. His brother was a Skid Row alcoholic who lived, he was a Bowery bum. He lived in the Bowery. Oh, no. Tom and I talked about it the other night because of Scorsesey's footage, the documentary

has footage and refers to a famous movie about the Bowery. Oh, is that right? Have you seen, you saw Scorsese, I thought. Well, not Mean Streets. No, no, the documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but which movie you're talking about? So go, if you go in the beginning of the documentary and he talks about it, talks about seeing the guys on the Bowery and that some of them then had jobs like during the day or the week, like at produce and like loading boxes into like, you know, delis.

So anyway, it would be worth it for you to check that out because there's apparently like beautiful images of the destitution. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was really down and out. Oh, famously. My uncle was a, he was a cook and he was always out of work. And he stayed at our house maybe three times in my life. And so anyway, so I didn't have to split time. It was all about my mother's side of the family, the McCarthy's. Right.

Okay. So what I'm saying, though, is it doesn't work. Yeah. To say you always have to spend it with your parents, it doesn't work because, you know, there's four, there's two sets of parents above your parents. Yeah. And luckily, Aaron's family is in New York City. so we can go and visit my family and her family on the same trip

when we go back east for the holidays. I also had a thing, and this is another issue with my dad, he was, you know, family means everything. So he would be very strong about spending like whatever holiday. And, you know, he was fair about spending, you know, splitting time with my mom who we divorced when we were tiny. But it wasn't that. It was kind of like, all right, now I have my own family.

And that complicated. things because, you know, then there's, there's the in-laws and all that. But it's like, I had a remind him, I'm like, hey, like, you weren't, like, I'm in my 50s now. And I don't think he would realize that. And I'm like, when you were in your 50s, think about your parents. Like, it was very different. You know what I mean? Like, he was a- change generally. Generationalally, it really has changed. I think the family unit has gotten stronger in some ways. Maybe it's because transportation is easier.

People are more mobile. But I feel like families spend more time together now than they used to, multi-generationalally. Well, I don't know. Some people would argue that especially the old immigrant community, whether it's Italians, Jews, Irish. Yeah, you still live there. I mean, yeah.

But what did happen, though, is, after the greatest generation, the laziest generation, but who had, who loved money, the, they, like my dad, they would take their parents now to their house. Like it wasn't going, you know what I mean? Like, they were the, and it's proving that, I think they are the richest generation and maybe ever.

So that changed things. The greatest generation. They were the greatest generation because they fought World War II. Like, I wonder if, If we invade Venezuela in the next week, which looks very likely, if we send our kids, but we send it, we go, bad news, you got to go to Venezuela. Good news. You're the new greatest generation. If you go, if you go, you're going to be so great. Yeah, yeah.

All right. Last one. Do kink encounters have to count as cheating? That's weird wording, have to count. And then the subline here is, my desires won't go away, but my partner's not interested. Is there an ethical way to explore them? I think as long as your partner is aware of it, you don't want her to see you getting out of the shower with fucking whip marks on your back and be surprised by it. But if she gives you her blessing or if he gives her the blessing, absolutely. Yeah. What's it called ethical monogamy, non-monogamy? I know some people, if they're by, will even let their partner step out and have a like, I know very well, this one couple, where she steps out and has a lesbian relationship.

But it's never a relationship. It's just sex. And their marriage has been fine for 10 years. I don't think it counts, though, if like a man tells, like, a man tells, like, his woman. Listen, it's a kink. I'm into strange and new vaginas. It's a kink. You don't want anal sex. So this other girl, I don't touch her vagina. It's 100% anal. Yeah. And it's $200 a pop. All right, here we go. We're going to go make America, Florida.

Florida. Oh, entertainment. wait, hold on, before we get there, that was a crinkle for entertainment. I have to be very careful how I recommend this movie, and you're going to find the same, you're going to find the task to be the same. It's going to be challenging. I saw the movie that has stayed with me the most. Frankenstein sucked.

I'm not talking about that. Olivia was here, and we watched Train Dreams, which I believe is on Netflix. And it is literally extraordinary. I think. Really? Now it's going to end and a lot of people will go what WTF was that and they'll look at each other because it's one of those very artful independent feeling movies that is very, it's almost like more of a meditation. And it's not going to be your, you know, sort of act one, act two, act three where act three ties up everything. And there's been growth and like, and, you know, it's a happy ending or an unhappy ending.

It's not, it's none of those. And but this is what I'll say. From the very first image, Olivia goes, oh, this is, this is the vibe. And I was like, you are right. And there's a movie and I told her to look it up and I haven't done it yet. But I mean, every review should be referencing Days of Heaven, Terence Malick's movie, which was almost exclusively shot between like either at sunrise or sunset

in the magic hours. Is that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman? Huh? Was that Nicole Kidman? No, no, no. It was like one of Richard Gears' first movies. It's a legendary movie and it's a legendary for like

so many of the shots. You're like, you look, I can't even tell you how many times we said watching it. That looks like a painting. Yeah. And that's all I'll say. You don't need to know anything about it,

but like do what you can to make it as much of a movie theater experience. Like turn off the lights and just, and again, you're not going to be blown away by story at all. It's just beautiful. Okay. Yeah. I just watched a... Train Dreams. I just watched a series about Alaska plane crash.

Hold on. I'm looking up the title, Prisoners movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the frontier. Something about Frontier. The last frontier. So, you know, sometimes you watch, like, you watch a lot of heavy series. Like, we watched Jesus, that Murdoch series. You haven't seen it yet.

It's amazing. All right, I'll see it, I guess. But it's heavy as shit. And then we, like, we'll watch two or three of those, and then we find the worship. on TV and we watch that. And the irony is the lead actor and Murdoch is

also the lead actor in this piece of shit. And the premise is a plane full of prisoners crash lands in Alaska in the winter. And what happens? Which is a

great premise. There's so many fun possibilities with that. And then the thing took itself so seriously but, you know, every hack need cliched line and some really poor performances, but fun for the first episode. I'm trying to remember,

did you guys watch the show? Oh, God, I'm now spacing out on the names. I think it's on Netflix. Is it called The Beast? No. I'm watching a bunch of things. Only we can give reviews of shows and not name the titles.

Yeah, so, but it's, hold on a minute. Oh, Jesus Christ. We're going to give it up. I'm watching, no, this is the thing. I'm watching a bunch of, I think, intensely forgettable shows. All her fault, my, Olivia was so excited for me to watch that. And then I loved pissing her off. Like, by episode two, I was like, oh, so this is a blame the guy series?

All the guys are getting blamed in this. Right, right. And then, of course, the title is all her fault. And I don't know. It just was not doing it for me. And people are telling me to stick with it. The other one is with who's from the Americans? Yes, he's from the Americans.

Yeah, right. No, I heard it's rough. Reese or whatever. Yeah. But, and I'm spacing, we're terrible. Anyway, we should actually cut all this out. I can't remember her name. Yeah.

What the hell's her name? Her overacting is so unbelievable. Oh, no, there's memes online about her overacting. Oh, it's like, it's one of those things where you're like, we like to watch intense things. No one else is aware that this is the most intense thing ever put on film because that's what she's acting like. Yeah. All right. Let's get to Florida.

This is just a dead part of the show. Claire Daines. No, no, these are good. Who I love in Homeland, but yeah. Yeah, exactly. All right, here we're going to make America Florida. No, I think we did our service and warning people to lower your expectations with those two shows. Yes.

Florida man walking buck naked in 36 degree weather claims he was doing a TikTok challenge. A man was driving to work earlier this month on Broken Arrow Trail, Broken Arrow, when he spotted a man walking down the road naked despite the 36 degree outside temperature, which is impressive. This is Tampa, I think. The man was captured. This is the best one. The man was captured on the driver's Tesla cameras.

Okay. So now the video has been disseminated around the internet and government websites and China if it was taped through Tesla. I wonder if there's a Tesla setting. Like can you blur genitals if we see them? Like in the Florida like dealerships, do they have that option? Yeah. We asked them, are you cold? Not a bit.

What are you doing? Well, it's a TikTok challenge. The cops are like, you don't even have your. phone. You're really naked. You don't have your cell phone. And he didn't even have shoes. The sheriff added that when the deputy has asked him for his name, the man gave a false name and wrong address. He went to jail. And after all, he went there without any clothes on. That's how he arrived at Bookin. We said, here comes buck naked. Yeah, you want to cuff that guy in the front, not the hands behind the back. Give him a break.

Most embarrassed mugshots ever. Well, you definitely, if it's 36 degrees out, I don't think you want videotape of yourself naked. I know. He wants that Tesla destroyed. Yeah. I'm surprised that didn't happen to him. I'm like trying to destroy the evidence, like just lighting a Tesla on fire. Here we go. We're making America, Texas again.

There we go. Texas man, 95 sets record as oldest bus driver. I've always liked to drive. I still do. Raymond Hager said at a recent ceremony, who were officials in his hometown of Wichita Falls, honored him for his record-setting career in bus transportation. Quote, and hopefully I stay safe and drive as long as his boss and physician each allow him. I get more tired at home than I do driving.

So this is, this was the disturbing quote. I get more tired at home than I do driving, he said. You know, if I get four or five hours of sleep at night, man, I'm ready to go. I okay the bus had to be empty the next day after that quote got out oh yeah no it's Texas but now it's it's not only the black people crowding into the back of the bus yeah everybody's back there yeah he's like it's not such a hard job you know I'm glad we still don't have to pick up black people and uh so there's not many stops something tells me this Texas man is going to be back in the headlines at some point in the near future well

This week, sadly, we do have an obituary, but we're holding space, as they say. We're holding space for this guy. All right. Here we go into sports. It's a very brief sports story. It's really just to say, did you see the Detroit halftime show on Thursday? I watched the whole game, and then my whole family crowded around for the halftime show is a big hit. Well, there are articles now that, like, how can the Super Bowl not get it as right as

these guys got it. Yeah. It was really, listen, it's Jack White is exciting. You know he's in the moment. It's the furthest thing from like an overproduced,

it's just like his S&L appearances. They're amazing. He's electric and he came out and he whaled on guitar and you were totally, and that wasn't even a popular song. I'd never heard that for a song before. Right.

No, I know. And yeah, they played three songs. And we were talking to Dickie Dickie, some, it was something, oh, he told his story about Jack White. Like someone was like, why are we watching this guy? Who's this guy? It's like, well, he's about to play Seven Nation Army and you'll realize exactly who and why he's playing.

Right. And then Eminem pops up on stage. Oh. And just, it was genre bending. They took rap and rock and they put it together in a way that I got to go back to Aerosmith and run DMC, walk this way. It just worked. unbelievable. Yeah, it was really, really good. And it's just so authentic. I thought maybe they'd bring up

Bob Seeger, man, another Detroit native. Thank God. They left that snore fest off the show. I love Bob. What is he so excited about? Just take those old record. No, that's a horrible one. No, no, no, no. Relax, Bob. Night moves, baby. Night moves. They could have brought it home. Night moves is one of my favorite songs of all time. It's the only song of his I don't immediately change on the radio. I don't know. They could have had a come in just for the night moves and the whole place, including Eminem and Jack White, bringing home night moves to end it for Detroit. Yeah.

Too bad they had no second half moves. They lost the game. Well, thank God they didn't bring Kid Rock out there. Oh, shit. I forgot about that guy. Yeah, you know what? He's more Nashville and Florida than anything now. Yep.

Detroit should officially disown them. Okay. Where do you want to go from here? Let's do a quick international story. All right, here we go. I haven't seen this one. A Miss Universe executive singled out and criticized one contestant at an event in Thailand, causing a walkout by contestants and an international controversy after it went viral at the 74th Miss Universe pageants.

While speaking to the Miss Universe, contestants, this guy, Noot, Intagrosse, singled out Miss Bosch for not participating. She's the Thai woman for not participating in promotional activities and said, I didn't give you opportunity to talk. Please keep polite. I still talking. Listen. And then they all walked out.

But I think she wanted to show that women are strong, especially ones from Thailand because they were born as men. So, yeah. So are they going to untie? Are you going to work that? They're going to untie from the festival. There you go. Yes.

Yeah, this is, I like to see these beauty pageant contestants taking a stand. I think my favorite internet video of all time is the beauty contestant from South Carolina. and what's his name is interviewing her at a beauty pageant. Mario Lopez is interviewing her. Oh, no, of course. Yeah, we had her on Tosh Point O to redo her speech. Oh, my God. Yeah.

I mean, you felt for her, like you didn't think what an asshole. You just thought, oh, my God, what has this woman done in her life except put on mascara? Yeah, she was cool when we had her on, though. But that was the delicate first season with web redemptions when we'd have to be like, we're on your side. And then we wouldn't do anything. We'd let them hang themselves if that happened, but we kind of were on their side.

Yeah. Because they were such good sports about it. Shout out to Daniel Tosh. You got it, man. He has a podcast now, I guess. And then he plays Vegas. Ted Danson has a fucking podcast now. You got it, Pat.

Enough. Enough. This day in history, here we go. All right. I feel sharp. I'm on Adderall today, so I feel good. It wasn't a big pickings day. I got to tell you.

So here we go. We're going to do some American singer, Britney Spears, was born on this day. In what year, Greg, give her take. I'm going to say give her take four years. I think I'm being generous. I'd peg her in her mid-40s now. So that would put her.

At 79. Good enough. 81. Nice. Nicely done, Fitsy. Yes. Okay. This was a good one. I'm going to make it very short range for you.

Wait, there was the video, but where's the album? Thriller. Hold on. I have to find where, here it is. Thriller came out. Wow. then the music video came out like two days later. Thriller came out on this day in what year?

Wait a minute. Yes, it came out. It also said it won the most Grammy Awards. It set a record won eight of them. Wow. What year did Thriller come out? Give or take two years. 81.

Geez, 82. Nice. I know because I bought tickets to the Thriller tour when I was in high school. So that would have been my sophomore year of high school. Yay. Okay. Give or take one year, pink Floyd's The Wall was released. All right.

So dark side of the moon was before the wall. That would have been in early, I'm going to say 73. So it's 79. Dude, I immediately think of what grade I was. in. Yeah. So we did a, we did, I was in Iona grammar school where they beat the shit out of me. And we did a trip to old colonial Williamsburg, right?

And on that bus, seventh grade bus, I believe it was on that bus, um, three boomboxes. For one, like, part of the ride, they let us play our music. Three boomboxes were in the bus in different sections of the bus, all of them playing the wall. Yeah, yeah. Yep. It was unbelievable. 79, did you say? Yeah.

Okay. American motorcycle dare devil. Evil Knievel died at the age of 69 in one year, give or take five years. Okay. So he was huge in the mid-70s. So let's assume he was 30 in the mid-70s. So I would say, He died at what age?

65. 69. So 35 years after 70, 2003. 2007. Nice. I like it. Mark Twain was born. A hero of the comedy community.

Mark Twain was born, also a hero of those people who liked thrown around the N-word. Mark Twain was born on this day in what? year, give or take 10 years. I'm going to guess, I think his books came out in the late 1880s. So he had to have been born in 1841. 1835. Nice. I don't know if I would have gotten that.

And I have his gigantic biography on my shelf. It's probably the thickest book on that bookshelf. Well, just look at that Colonel Sanders outfit. That's, that's 1800s. I should know this, but like, what was he saying during the Civil War? Interesting question. Right? Like, obviously he has one of the greatest lines in literature in Huck Finn,

when Huck realizes basically, racism, the idea racism dawns on him. And I wish I could recite it, but I can't even remember who's in homeland. But it was basically, then I don't want to, if that's the way, like, then I don't want to be that. Like, he's my friend, Jim. And then I don't want to be that way. And it's like a legendary. So that's why I'm very interested in what, like, because he was also basically the first stand-up comedian going around doing lectures.

Yeah, he was, you know, look, he was from Missouri, which was not neutral in the war, but split. It was, you know, Confederate and Union people in the States. So he probably heard it from both sides. But yeah, you think about like Walt Whitman was like very outspoken about the war. And, you know, sometimes people stay silent if they're in the other, if they're in the arts. but like us we're artists Mike and we speak out against the war in Venezuela and we'll continue to I'm speaking, how didn't even start it and I'm speaking out against it. Moving on to letters to the editor.

Did you hear me? That's me. Yeah. Okay. This one comes from Andy and San Diego. Can't thank you enough for entertainment. Love the show. Oh, wow.

This is why this show can never, ever, ever, ever, ever needs another, quote, guest. If we are going to have the wacky Sunday morning zoo radio, please throw in a honk, honk, and add a girl laughing at every word you two say on a third mic. Not once has a guest worked on this show. Seriously, you two are the best. I wish you all a great turkey day. I'm thankful you all have made me laugh after a tough year when I lost my cousin. Oh, no.

It was like my second brother. I can always trust you every week. I hope this have this show to make me happy. Thank you for the kind words. I love hearing getting notes like this from people because we don't, you know, I'm used to perform in front of a crowd. So these letters are our crowd feedback. And it's really nice to hear. But it's the same amount of silence to your jokes, right?

Well, when I do tie jokes, absolutely. Yeah. I'm on a dead streak with those. Thank you, Andy. And I guess we get the assist in your denial of your grief and repression. so we're happy to be riding right alongside you on that one. But on a serious note, sorry about your loss. Geez, and the holidays are going to be rough, Andy.

Sorry about that. I know, and the obituaries are coming up, and now I feel really bad that we do not have your cousin in. But we don't know now. I think you're making a giant assumption that Andy's cousin is not Jimmy Cliff. It's time for the obituary. Oh, let's do it. Andy's cousin was quite an accomplished music legend.

and star of Seminole Jamaican film, The Harder They Come. He died at 81 last week. He's known for his joyful take on reggae music, popularizing it outside of the Caribbean through songs such as Wonderful World, Beautiful People, and you can get it if you really want. On screen, he was known for his lead role, as we said,

and The Harder They Come, which was in 1972. So that morning, Olivia was here back from Boston, and I saw that he died and like I put him on and man it changes a room. Yeah. I mean, when you put the harder they come or you can get it if you really want it. Like it's just, it's a more joyful room all of a sudden with that in the air. Yeah. And Olivia recognized the songs.

Yeah. You know, and I have to say like Jimmy Cliffs' version of I can see clearly now. Yeah. Look, I'm not knocking Johnny Nash. did an unbelievable version of it, but I went into a depression when my father died that was fucking deep. And I remember driving my car back from Boston,

and it was like, I think it had been like a year since my dad died, and I just had this incredible weekend in Boston where I felt really alive. I saw good friends. And that's, so Jimmy Cliff, I can see clearly now, came on the radio,

and I was sobbing, because I felt like I was coming out of it for the first time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's going on with me with my mom a little bit, to be honest. The holidays, that's why my heart goes out to Andy. Holidays are rough and a real reminder.

And, yeah, you were, man, you were so alone. Like none of us had the experience of a parent dying. And at that age, good Lord. Yeah, I mean, obviously it's tough any time. But I feel like, I think the thing that hit me then, stays with me is that my father, you and your father have a very similar relationship. They are smart, street smart, logical guys that always see the angle that you don't originally see. And I felt when he died that I was going to miss out on that wisdom.

Like I got it for the first half of my life, but I was going to miss out on the later wisdom, the graduate school. Right. Well, because he would have put you on a graduate school that you had no idea about. like he did your undergrad. That's right. All right. We're going to go to funnies now

to cheer things up. It's cheer up. We need it. Every week we do a thing called a comedy captioned contest spelled with all Ks, which is so wrong. Oh.

We give you one little cat. We give you one little picture. We describe it because most of you are listening. So we try to give a vivid description. You write down your punchlines. You send them into Fitzdog Radio. Gmail.com.

We put together some of the good ones. We miss some of the good ones, and I apologize. And then the winner gets a coosie, sent to their house immediately. It's been a while, like a year since the coosies went out. I got to find some, and then they're going to go out, man. Unbelievable. All right. We may have to come up with another prize for this.

Oh, I have tons of imaginary coosies. Should we just start shipping those? Wait, do you, how many coosies do you have left? I don't know. There's a bag. There's a shopping bag and there's a hand. Because there were quite a bit of returns. I also had that mailbox place. Do you remember that crazy guy who like they took his baby away from him in South America? Anyway, he shockingly did not keep the business. And then so new people came in. They fired up my account. I don't really check my credit card bill statements. And I see it on there. And then I search. I've been charged for a year, so I'm dealing with that. That was a return of dress for the coosies, but they gave me a big bag. Last week's frame was it's an old western town. There's a saloon in the background, and there is a gunfighter dressed as a cowboy,

walking down the street, roped and tied to his back is a little person who looks like he might be Mexican. and he's got two guns out pointing behind the guy. So they're faced in opposite directions. He's walking. Jake Meckling from Denver said, it was a bad tattoo, but Twitchy Jim's fantasy was finally coming true. Okay, Twitchy.

Miguel Fernandez says every cowboy tall tail has a little murderous backstory. That's impressive. I like that too. Kurt Gebe said the townspeople weren't sure if it was a genius tactic or just a really awkward custody arrangement. Yeah, yeah. I like the setup. I don't know where it went to custody.

Yeah, fell apart at the end. Kink, maybe kink. Sean said, Santiago, when we get to pace nine, you shoot. Okay, right. John Favreau said, not bad, Chester, but what will we do if they attack from the side? Okay, John, not bad. You're not getting another coozy from me, John.

He's up in Maine. Flesh tree, he doesn't eat anything to cool his drinks down in Maine. Flesh tree said, Kimmel is back, baby. All right. Callie Kahn said, say hello to my little friends. I like that one, too. Will Hanson said, Rearview had a whole different meaning in 1875.

Okay. Lainey Lanoitt said, Django undipered. All right, you put two things together there. Harold says, hold me close, my tiny beaner. All right, yeah, yeah, there you go. He wanted me to sing it. I don't sing punch one.

Is that why you said he looked Mexican? Because none of these have tapped in. You're doing it because the guy has a dark mustache? It seems like it. And he's petite? He's petite and he's clearly farting. And he has guns. That's your view of Mexicans.

Okay. Clint Hurl said, little Bill now regretting his promise to have big Jim's back when he came to town. That's nice. I think it's very nice. Yeah. I'd call it very nice. Yeah.

Willie said Paco was thrilled to test out the new line of Bandito Bjorn baby slings. Okay. Kevin Robinson said the double barrel strap on. All right. Kevin went for that. All right. A lot of good ones this week. Thank you, people.

You fucking hit it out of the park. I mean, I think in my mind, we have two winners. Yes, there was. Murderous backstory and little friend. Yeah, Cali. Miguel and Callie. All right. Callie Khan, two more Ks to add to our Kays.

Callie Khan is a prolific submitter to this segment. So let's go ahead and reward her. Callie Khan, congratulations. Oh, sorry, Miguel. The Cali Khan Coosie coming your way. Miguel, who sounds Mexican himself. Oh, yeah. And he took it away from him.

I do like his a lot, though. Well, listen, there's enough imaginary coosies to go around. All right, you both win. You both win. Send us your addresses. We'll get them right out to you. I'm going to stay on top of Mike. This is egregious.

I'm going to get these sent out and before the holidays. How about next week I will read the list of, first names of who the coosies are going out to. You'll see them. I'll have the envelopes in my hand. I'm coming to your house and we're going to spend an hour. Then I'm not doing it together. Then it's off. Jesus. Next week's comic is a restaurant. There is a bar in the background, a gentleman having a drink and a bartender, other diners. And we're seeing in the foreground a table with four people, but they're all skeletons. The only ones in the whole place.

The only skeletons. The other people are looking at them. They got cocktails in their hands, and one of them is talking to the other ones. Yes. So there you go. All right. All right.

Now to the pros, Hager the Horrible. Jesus, he really is horrible when you think about it. He can be. Yeah, yeah. He has that ability. Yes. So he is talking to Helga. And he goes, I know that luck.

You think you're so perfect. And she goes, he goes, and then he goes, when was the last time you apologized for anything? And she goes last night. I apologize to everyone at Olson's party for your behavior. Oh, Jesus. Oh. Oh, what did he do? Yeah.

What did he do to Mrs. Olson? I think he, I think there were some morning after pills involved in the apology. Yes. Ye old morning after pill. The old morning after pill. Just don't do it in Texas. No. You can do it in Scandinavia.

So now Leroy and Loretta from the Lockhorns are walking out of the doctor's office. She says, well, that's the first, giving the doctor high blood pressure. I like that. That's good. And then we got, I pulled this one for you. Leroy's on the couch. She's talking to her friend. Leroy's drinking game is to take a shot every time the Jets score a touchdown.

He's been sober for three weeks. How very dare they? How dare they? We missed your... I'll put the onion in now. American Express launches a small sweatshop Saturday. And, you know, there's Cyber Monday. There's small sweatshop Saturday.

That's good. Finally, we have our old friends, Dagwood Bumstead, and impossibly his wife, Blondie. She stands there and an olive looks like a kind of a cashmere sweater. It is clinging to her bosoms as if it is drowning in the ocean and she's a lifeguard. She has on a plaid skirt, a buttocks is protruding. He's got on a pilgrim's hat. He goes, are you ready to take Thanksgiving to another level? She goes, what could you possibly do to top yourself?

Second frame, he dips her and kisses her under a drumstick, which is tied above the doorway, a la a garland. Do you ever they call it at Christmas? No, what do you mean? It says it in the thing. She goes, you could only dream up a drumstick mistletoe, and he goes, I'm trying to stay humble. No, she goes, only you could dream up a drumstick mistletoe. Right. Big kiss with hearts, love the symbol of love flying off of their faces.

Yeah. And he goes, I'm trying to stay humble. There should be a third frame where she wakes up because she dreamt this because it only exists nowhere. That's right. She was deeply tired on tryptophan, fell asleep on the couch and dreamt that her husband had a penis that functioned and a male sex drive. And he was creative and he was on his feet and his hand worn in his pockets. Yep.

We started the podcast. You said you wanted to keep it tight. I texted you, let's do one hour and 12 minutes. I said too long. And we are at one hour and 10 minutes. Perfect. So we'll take two minutes here to say, don't forget. Sanford,

Disco Punchline coming up, get your tickets, also bananas in New Jersey. I want to thank you guys. I think we did already last week. But again, thank you for your listenership, your viewership, your mail, all of that. Yes. Thank you for everything Greg just said. Anything you want to promote? Well, I really like train dreams a lot.

And I'm waiting to see what other movies move me. And maybe one day I'll remember. the shitty shows I'm watching. I'll be able to talk about them more. I'm going to write them down. Because I am disappointed left and right now with the Exceptus Scorsese doc, which we need to talk about more, which is really great.

It's such a New York documentary. Yes, it's amazing. All right, we're at one hour and 11 minutes. We owe you guys a minute. We'll tag that on next week. You know what? Take the minute and do something nice with your families. How about that?

Yes. On us. That's our minute we're giving you. tear yourself from the screen and go kiss your wife under a drumstick. Mike, we'll see you this week. Take itish. Take itish. Every day, the news is insane.

White knuckle what you can and make it the Sunday. Greg and Mike will sum up the week and help you laugh it off so the world looks less bleak. Sunday Papers podcast is a really funny show.