Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers W Greg And Mike Ep 293 121425

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

A Cinnabon worker is not so sweet, a cruise passenger is killed and put on ice, and FLA Man is abducted by aliens. The real kind. UNCOMMONGOODS.com/PAPERS ⁠⁠⁠for 15% off! Watch Greg’s latest special, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest” Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Find Mike on Venmo here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTime⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmons⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here, baby. Here we are. We're doing this at all. Gotta be in my, got to admit that to you. You're what? Got to admit. I'm surprised we're doing this at all. I'm in New York.

Yeah, I'm in San Francisco. When did you go there? I got here yesterday. I flew up. Whitney Cummings was on my flight. Oh, some post I saw this morning. I didn't listen to it, though. Yeah, she, um.

She announcing something? Yeah, that she was in first class and I was in coach. I think that's what she's announcing. That's the worst walk of shame is when you're talking to a friend. And then we're scanning our phones to get on the plane. And mine is like 38C and hers is 1A. You're like, all right. Have fun at your corporate date where you make 10 times as much as me doing five shows.

First class to San Francisco is a bit of a. You know, a little unnecessary. Unnecessary. Yes. So, yeah, so I'm here. I did a show last night. It was great. I got,

I got, what's her name opening for me? Am I forgetting her name? Who I love. Nicole Buchanan. Oh, she's so good. She's so funny. She does such an amazing job. Even though she's got a name I never remember.

Yeah, she's working with me here. And then in Sacramento, she just did La Jollaue with me. And she's good hang. She's so neurotic. She's so insecure. And it's like amazing because like she does great. She kills. And she is totally original material.

Oh, look at this guy. Oh, my God. Wow. How are you? How do you? There we go. Yeah, you got it. Do you ask him if that's his original hair

or if he's doing something to help out? Is that your real hair? Yeah, sadly. It's a good amount of hair. Sadly, this is real. This is real. I'm sorry, I would share. If I could take just about a half an inch from the back row,

I could fly off to Turkey and work a miracle. I can't hear you. Yeah. Yeah. You just want your pubic here. All right. Which is more of that. Yeah.

It's like this. But down low. All right. Nicole is, yeah. Sometimes she doesn't appear insecure. That's the thing about her because she's just mellow. Yeah. But I guess it's a circus going on inside.

Well, you know she's writing a movie with Frank Sebastiana right now. They just did a table read. You mentioned that. I did forget it, though. Yeah. So maybe that's something for. Anyway, great club. The punchline is maybe my favorite club in the country.

Top two for sure. There is. And yeah, it's fun. We had, I missed all the holiday parties. I literally just was not in the mood. I didn't go to one single holiday party. And some of them I would even take a shower and get dressed. and then just sit down and not go.

Wow. I just, you know what it is? I have a horrible memory. You get dressed for a party and then sit down and not go? Yes, because. That's a sad image. That is. Because the thing is, I have a horrible memory for names and faces,

and I go to these parties, and people come up to me, and then I feel awful if I don't remember them, and their feelings get hurt. Merry Christmas. Look what I got. you i got you a name tag with a sharply wouldn't that be nice shouldn't they do that at all parties yeah are you kidding me at jobs everywhere and not on the shirt on your nose so you don't lose eye contact with them uh that's where you want it uh i'm a little slow off the mark i i was i'm in new york

and uh up till four and you know if it doesn't feel like it here but uh and then now it's It's Friday morning, but went out. The city is packed. I met, it's funny. This is typical me. I fly in. I meet Sophie. Couldn't be more excited.

I'm here to see both girls. Olivia came down from Boston to join Sophie, who lives here. And I meet, I take the train. It's a bit of an odyssey. I go from like JFK to Brooklyn, drop off a bag, back on the trains, get off the train. She's not where she was working. She's somewhere. I have to get back on the train. Then it starts rain. Anyway, I'm pretty frustrated. And I guess I'm not mature enough to hide that and do a good job like just burying that. And so she can tell I'm rattled. And this is when we're first meeting and it's Christmas in New York. So she was nice enough about 20 minutes in. I'm like, do over. Like not that it was terrible, but it wasn't positive only. I'm like, do over.

Let's start again. And she's like, I love it. And we started again and it was great. Oh, look at you. But I love that. I get it out of my system. I had to list the complaints and everything because then it started raining. Then we could not get into a single place.

I mean like a dive bar. Anything that was near Midtown, the dormant would just be there like, don't even try. No shit. Really? Don't even try. So we'll stand in a crowded corner of your restaurant or a bar. Don't even try. Wow.

Yeah. Damn. And no reservations. You can't get reservations anywhere. So anyway, of course it's the best time of year here. But it's amazing. And then last night saw the usual suspects. You see them more often because you go on the road.

But Dan from Philly, Andrew here. And then Ted Fine from Connecticut was in. And we went to the Chelsea Hotel, which I wanted to show my girls. No way. Really? And brought the girls there. There's four bars. in the Chelsea Hotel.

Uh-huh. And it was great. Chelsea Hotel famously where Sid Vicious was killed by his wife. So many. It was Christopherson ran to Janice Joplin in an elevator, and then they had sex within the hour or something like that. And then based on that, I think she recorded me and Bobby McGee. So anyway, so I bring our friend in our friend in a house.

LA has the we talk about them often those great mushroom M&Ms. Yeah. We love them. Like three apparently is a microdose, but the best is like you take two and then you can't anyway maintain it. So that's, I bring that as a gift like for for Chris. I bring a couple of bags. So we go in the city and Dan's like, you got any? And like a fiend.

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I have some here. So I hand some out and everyone takes like one or two. which you won't feel. You just, you know, raises your energy a little bit. So anyway, my girls are there. And all of a sudden, Dan, that is not enough for Dan. So Dan goes over to the jackets and he's like, is this, is this Mike's jacket? Because he's now digging in for M&Ms, right?

Yeah. So then I'm told this story after. He's like, you wouldn't believe how historical this is. And Chris goes, your friend Dan is so sweet. So all of a sudden he catches Olivia looking at him with his hands in my pockets on my jacket that's hanging up on the wall. And Olivia's just looking. And then Dan gets caught like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. And he's like, is your dad's jacket?

She's like, it is. And Olivia's like a cool cucumber, you know? She's like, it is. He's like, yeah, yeah. I'm just looking for something. And she's like, what are you looking for? He's like, oh, I'll find it. And he's just trying to blow it off.

but Olivia just won't stop staring at him as he's digging through my pockets. And so he tries to delay it, Chris says, as long as possible. But she's still like, do you want me to help you or do you want me to ask him for whatever is you're looking for? He's like, no, no, no, no, I'll get it. And so now he's looking for something that's not. He has to find something that's not the mushrooms, right? Yeah.

So he's looking like so then he's like, oh, got him. and he takes out my eyeglasses. And Olivia's like, those are my dad's glasses. And he's like, I know, I know. And Dan, meanwhile, is wearing glasses. And Chris was like, it was just so unbelievably cute, how hard Dan was committing to this lie. And he's like, no, I know, but these are my.

reading glasses. He's like, these would be this. He's like, and Olivia's like, you have the same prescription as my dad. And he's like, exact. It's weird. The exact same. When we were roommates, we figured that out. And then he puts on my glasses and leaves them on for as long as Olivia keeps looking at him, which is like 15 or 20 minutes, like of checking in on him and dying to get back to the mushrooms in my coat. That's great. Yeah. That's amazing.

Meanwhile, Olivia would have been like, yeah, I wouldn't take three of those mushrooms. I would probably just take, she wouldn't have given a shit. I don't think she would have given a shit at all. In fact, she was just watching him sweat. This is Olivia or Sophie? Olivia. Olivia. Yeah.

Like, if it was Sophie, I would think that she was earnestly trying to help him. With Olivia, I think there's a chance that she was busting his balls. Exactly. That might be it. But it was a great hang. Oh, my God. We stayed so long. We then switched to a different bar once they kicked us out of the Mexican restaurant kind of there.

And it's great. It's such a legendary place. And New York is just a, so tonight I'm going in dinner, going to the Bryant Park, winter fair market, whatever it's called, behind the library and then eating there. And, yeah, I'm just so psyched to be here. but boy, it takes a lot out of you. Oh, yeah. Well, look, man.

You look like shit. So that's a good sign. You're having fun. And I'm in front of a window that like the shade doesn't, it's like the worst hangover window ever. I'm squinting this whole podcast. How late did, where did Dan stay? Dan was staying by the high line, I think, at the standard or something like that. And then I'm in Brooklyn at Chris's.

So then Chris and I get in a cab at like 3.30. and come back to Brooklyn. And the city's packed, still 3.30. How late did your girls hang out? Girls probably got out of there at one, maybe. Sophie had to work. Maybe 1230, something like that. Okay, good.

Yeah, I'm about to go through the same thing. I'm flying into New York on Wednesday. And I got tickets for a show. Oh, Mary? Have you heard of O'Mary? Oh, no, I have not. It's this huge Broadway play that's getting all the Everybody's been talking about it for the last six months.

So I got a couple tickets. Not cheap. Not cheap. Yeah. I've seen you've seen Corden. Corden is in art, which is on Broadway. No shit. I've seen art.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then we're going to, we might be drunk. I'm going on the podcast. I'm bringing him with me. So maybe they put, you know, Mark Norman. Yeah, of course.

And then we're going to head down. We're going to meet up with Tom O'Neill. down at, you know, his friend's bar down in Soho. Yes. The Irish guy's bar? Absolutely. Yeah, we get a lot. We got a lot going on.

You do have a lot going on. That's great. But it looks like rain all week in New York. Oh, yeah. It only rained that first day. Man, that was better. Oh, and then while we were sitting in the front window of the restaurant and the Chelsea Hotel, it started snowing outside.

It was so beautiful, but only for a little bit last night. Tomorrow I'm doing an old tradition going day drinking at McSorley's. Nice. And meeting a bunch of people. And Brickner is staying in town to go to that before he goes back to Philly. So he came up and got a hotel just to hang out with you. Nope. He's here for work.

It was a big convention at like the Jabbs Center. He's here. Oh, also his son is here. Family is here. So he has a lot going on. Amazing. I also, speaking of a podcast, Steve O asked me to do his podcast this past week. And I was like, great. So they go, all right. So we're going to come to you.

And I said, okay, how about Monday at 11? Great. Monday at 11 will come to you in your house. Great. Okay. 11 o'clock comes. 1115. Are you guys on your way? Yeah. We're parked. we're parked like a block from you. We couldn't find parking out front because it's a big van. So I walk out front. There's a ton of space. I go, there's plenty of space right out front. So the van finally pulls up.

I'm like, what the fuck? They pull up and they go, there's no Steve-O. He's not in the van. The idea is that I sit in this van with a camera that's got a little like set in it. And then he gets zoomed in from a hotel. he's in Houston. So I go, so you're not coming in my house.

They're like, no, no, that's why you're. Okay, so I get in the van, they close the door. It's about 107 degrees. And the connection to Steve-o is awful. Everything is on a lag. We're talking over each other. This goes on for 15 minutes. And then Steve-o goes, fuck, I forgot to hit record.

Oh, my God. And I was like, get the fuck. Let's just keep going. Let's just keep going. So we do another 15 minutes And then he just disappears Just gone And so he's got like a co-host

I keep talking to his co-host And then finally he goes Oh, Steveo just texted me He goes his Wi-Fi is shitty And his hotel So we're going to have to reschedule I was like And I go

This is no less than what I would have expected from a Steveo podcast This is exactly what I thought it would be And this is the cleaned up Steveo, right? Yes And so they said, can we redo it? I said, absolutely, my only demand is that we use a lot of the footage that we already shot. Right.

Of all the fuckups. I love that. Yeah. I told you my, it was a late night show on Fox and Steveau was our guest. So anyway, Steveau gets there. And the driver of the sedan, which is just a generic driver. He's like, can I talk to, you know, basically he was like, can I talk to, you know, basically was like, can I talk to the boss. So anyway, someone comes and gets me and they're like the driver. I'm like the

driver of the sedan like that doesn't work for us. It's basically like a taxi driver saying he wanted to talk to me. And he goes, hey, I just think you should know, uh, the whole ride here, uh, the gentleman you had me delivered to you was the whole ride was doing whippets. And I'm like, I go, what? And he goes, the whole, he has a bag. And he goes, you can hear it. he walks. I'm like, oh, okay. All right. All right. I go, all right. Well, thank you for so much, sir. Well, he's here and he's safe. So, but thank you for that. So now I go in to where we're doing a pre tape with him. And the second I walk in the room, I hear like the director was like, Steve, actually, we need you to move over here. He's like, okay. And then he picks up a Ralph's brown paper shopping bag. He picks that up to move. And when he picks it up, you just hear all the metal canisters clinking. Like there have to be 50 of them in there. And whenever he had a reposition, he picked up his bag and it was so clear you could hear all of them clanking. It was wild.

That's hilarious. Yeah. We got to thank Bob for this week's logo. You look. God damn, you look good, Mike. I am keeping it tight. Look at me. I feel like a purve there.

Yeah. The song this week. And, you know, there's been a lot of talk lately about. about whether or not things are AI. Chris Marr made this, and I got to tell you something, this is not AI. This is outstanding.

The lyrics are fucking great. The guitar playing. He's got a great voice. This is really, really an example of why we're grateful for you guys for giving us content every week. Chris, I apologize, and I have not heard it yet,

as Greg has not shared it with me. I beg of you guys, listen to the full song at the end of the episode because there's a nice little musical intro before he even starts talking that you'll enjoy. Corrections this week.

Tim Dilley, who's up here in San Francisco. I think he's coming to see me this week. He wanted to play golf, but I can't because we're doing Sunday papers right now. Oh, Tim. It feels silly to correct someone who turns on some girls as soon as they enter into a hotel room.

What does that mean? What's wrong with doing that? But how could you not know that the Stones recorded exile on Main Street in the south of France while escaping the UK taxman. Exile, get it. They were not escaping the tax man

while recording a muscle shoals while recording sticky fingers. Come on, man, you've got to know the basics. Your friend Tim Dillard. My brain is a... It's a tossed salad. There are facts. They're just not the right ones.

They were, in fact, you know, evading tax taxes when they did exile. Anyway, thank you, Tim. You're probably also blending it and conflating it a little. They were, they had to do some jockeying around drug charges in America also. That's what I'm thinking of.

Yes, there was a reason why, there was like a reason why they were kind of like off the grid for a little while while they were at Muscle Shoals. All right. Jeff in Ontario said not a correction exactly, but you and Mike seem to take turns hacking up a lung with your old man coughs. Hit the mute button on your screen for two seconds

while you cough. It's the little microphone icon, you goddamn savages. Love the show. Keep up the great work. We record on Zoom recorders. The Zoom call is just for us to see each other and communicate,

but we actually record on these recordings, which mine does not have a cough button on it. Mine does not. In fact, I think it was a cough sound effect if I saw a cough gun. Oh, that's right. But I don't recall, I mean, I am guilty of unconsciously, I guess, clearing my throat a lot because of my reflux.

But you might have had a cough last time, I'm not sure. I definitely did. Yes, I think it was me. And I've been sick for three weeks, but I only have the residual cough. And I'll be like, I'll set up a chance. joke and it'll take me a minute, maybe it's a complicated joke, and then I get to the punchline and I start hacking. And it's awful.

Right. Chris Elzinga says, I heard you somewhat smugly informed Phil Hanley. This is on my other podcast today that the 14th president was Lincoln, when in fact, even most fourth graders know he's the 16th, considering the certainty with which it was delivered a correction and Sunday Papers feels warranted. Chris, nice try. Lincoln was the 14th president. You're doubling down on that?

No, it was the 16th. But the key is, who cares? You know, I was on a roll. Okay. I'm also rolling into Cleveland. Oh, well, no, I'm rolling into bananas in out by the Meadowland. in New Jersey, December 26th and 27th.

Cleveland, hilarities, January 8th through the 10th, Atlanta punchline, January 15 through 17. Then I'll be at the Comedy Mothership, Sacramento, Philly, Lexington, Houston, Fort Worth. Get tickets now at fitsdog.com. Mike, do you have a crinkle for the show? Man, do I think so? Yes, yes. I'm going to tear a piece of paper.

It's fresh because there are many shows in this year, and I've got to use up my 2025 papers. Here we go. Listen to this, too. That sounds good, right? Look at this. Old school. And let's start it.

Okay. Front page, this is you, pal. After a Cineban worker sparked now. National outrage for her racist meltdown. Her own daughter spoke up and said her mother was being vile and disrespectful. Crystal Willsey, 43 lost her job over a viral video of her spewing hateful slurs at a Somali couple. Quote, I am racist. She was heard yelling at the customers in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

She sparked our outrage last week when her encounter with Faria Ahmed and her husband went viral. Quote, I am racist and you are a N-word. but she said it. I am racist and I'll say that to the whole entire world. After the video went viral, the fired, fired Cinebond worker appeared to defend herself saying, quote, her son was colored. The son was like colored. That's a lot nicer than what she calls me at home. All right.

A couple things. When you say I'm a racist and you are the N-word, there's a lot of redundancy there. Yeah. You can say, you can just say one of those phrases and you got it covered. You got it covered. Probably the second one. Probably leave it the second one. Wouldn't it be funny?

They leave out this detail. But wouldn't it be funny if it turns out she were black and she hates it, though. So she calls herself the N word also. And she claims she's a racist. And the furthest she can get to admitting it, though, is like she calls her son black. Yeah, yeah. Which by the way, I looked it up. Sons Mexican.

Really? Yes, he's not black. He's Latino. Does she file that under color, maybe? A person of color? Maybe, but I guess, I don't know, I guess all that pressure of making one single type of item for customers was too much for her to handle.

For customers that are smiling with anticipation, she's surrounded by joy, fat people, experiencing joy all day. I'd like to say all our hate might have really caused people to lose their appetite. But the people who are online at Sinebun, it's going to take a lot more than that for them to lose their appetite. No, they're all appetite. That's it. And you know it would have been more insulting for them to say to them, you eat SinaBuns.

I always think of the Louis C.K. Cinevon thing. And I kind of, it's one of those I can't explain why it's so funny. But he pointed out that he's so pathetic. and he's talking about how he eats cinnabonds. He's like, this is how pathetic I am. I, in the airport, I stop and I get one of the most disgusting things on earth. I get a sinabon.

And he's like, and this is how bad it is. I'm getting it in the airport. I land in. And I can't explain why that's more pathetic, but it is. You know what I mean? It's way worse. Yes. Yes.

It's not the one. He's arrived at to take off on. And I don't know why it's, but he knew it was funnier. It's so great. I'm going to see him today, by the way. We're both in San Francisco together. Oh, ask him his thoughts on why it's more pathetic and it kills me. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnik said Thursday that the U.S. should focus on bringing in immigrants that help grow the economy as the White House rolls out its long-awaited gold card visa.

quote, we're the only country that lets other people just come in without vetting them and deciding whether they're really going to help the economy of America. Is that true? Is that in fact true? Let's bring in the top of the best. Let's help them grow America and build America. Why should we take people who are below average? It just doesn't make any sense, Leibnick said. He said the average green card holder in the U.S. earns one third less than the average American. Does this dipshit not understand that's the point? Our nation's economy depends on saving a third of paying the hardest working people in the country.

It's what's floated us for 250 years. It's America. His comments came as President Donald Trump officially launched his gold visa card. The program, which had its price reduced from $5 million to $1 million, offers a path to citizenship that has garnered high interest from rich foreigners. Wow. Well, man, he's talking about we're the only country that doesn't vet. That's probably why Americans have such a hard time getting in other countries

because they're like, what's this American going to add to our country? Yes. I think we have a lot of people adding nothing. Yes. And, you know, it's true. We need the brightest. We don't need some woman from a shithole country in Eastern Europe who works illegally shooting pornographic videos.

meets a guy on a billionaire pedophiles plane, and then gold digs their way into the White House. Yeah. American Dream. Yeah. And then also it's like, oh, hey, congrats on your gold card visa. I don't know if you've read all the fine print, but you're going to not only have to clean your own home and wash your own car,

which a lot of people do anyway, but you're going to have to pick strawberries every other weekend. It's part of the community service. Yeah. We're going to add a lot to that list as well. Yeah, you can use the credit card to buy a taco at the food truck at the edge of the cauliflower field. You'll be working in for 12 hours. Here's a great story.

Royal Caribbean cruise staff. I can't believe this is true. Allegedly stuffed a pass. I know why was this not a bigger story? Allegedly stuffed a passenger's body in a refrigerator and continued the journey after the man died following a marathon drinking session. Michael Virgil, a 35-year-old father from California, was served 33 drinks at one of the ship's bars on the day he died. It was like me last night.

He was detained by cruise ship security during a drunken rage and died in custody. He had a blood alcohol level of 0.186 more than twice. The legal driving limit. Driving limit. Was this the captain of the ship? Joseph Hazleton had a way higher alcohol level. Do you remember him? Oh, Hazleton, of course.

His fiancé, Connie Aguilar, has alleged they injected him with the sedative after the rampage. You would think 33 drinks would be enough of a sedative, which killed him. I know, was he freaking out, I guess? Oh, no, he was attacking members of the crew. Okay. He was traveling with Aguilar and their 7-year-old autistic son. Yeah, let's explain this to him later. Then pleaded with officials to return to Port and Long Beach after the traumatizing ordeal.

But the cruise line refused. They would not do it. They put Michael in a refrigerator and continued the cruise for multiple days. Virgil had become belligerent after crew members allegedly served from nearly three dozen drinks during the ship's unlimited alcoholic beverage package. That's on them. crew members tackled Virgil, stood on his body with their full weight, administered an injection of the sedative Halloparadol, and sprayed Virgil with multiple cans of pepper spray.

Oh, Virgil. He's being held down by the weight staff. He should have said, hold the pepper. This is an amazing story, and it makes you think we got to bring back the love boat. We got a lot of new storylines. Gopher and Isaac digging their knees into a fat drunk while Doc blasts him with propofal. Exciting and new. What package did Virgil pay for?

I mean, it's like unlimited drinks, clearly unlimited pepper spray. Yeah. You get people walking on your back in the form of an intense massage. Free air conditioning. Oh, that's after you're dead, but. Oh, my, anything. They put them on ice. That's amazing.

I got to say, you see all these clips of these cruise ships, it's fucking nuts. People are going crazy. Virgil's the lucky one. Virgil's the lucky one. Virgil didn't get diarrhea. I just love when they show like, they'll show like an old white couple sitting at the pool and there's 6,000 black people all dancing together to the same song. Yeah.

That's perfect. All right. You've loaded all the stories. Look at this. Yeah. Why don't you read one just to fucking give me a break? Jesus Christ. Well, I read a lot last week as you were coughing.

The Supreme Court won't get involved in states regulation of vanity license plates, rejecting an appeal from a Tennessee woman challenging the rejection of her controversial 69 PWNDU. It's a personalized plate. You have a note here that it's a gaming reference, 1969 moon landing. plus poned you while the state revoked it due to a perceived sexual connotations, which is 69 pound you. Which, by the way, I don't want somebody pounding me during a 69, gently sucking and licking.

Are you pounding? That's not good. Yeah, you're gearing up for the pounding, right? Yes, yes. The court on December 8th declined to hear an appeal from her, who argued that the state's rules for what is and isn't allowed on personalized plates are often unclear and can amount to a dizzying array of censorship. She wanted the court to find that she is expressing her own views through a vanity plate, not the government's a decision that would have limited state's ability to control that message. The justices kind of went this far.

You don't need all this. All right. I threw on, I looked online for other great vanity plates. We'll put them on the YouTube feed But one of them is a white Ford Bronco And the license plate says not OJ It's pretty solid That's fucking great

Yeah And then there's a one It's a Kia Sportage And the license plate says sharts And I know how that got through And then do you see the last one Look at the first frame, not the second one Look at the top one, not the bottom one

Do you notice anything unusual about that? No, it's what's a The European plate, it looks like a foreign country, X32, then it's a space and then 22A. Okay, now look at the frame behind it, which is what you see in the mirror. What you see in the mirror is, I guess backwards, it says ass sex. That's fucking great. How would they have known at the DMV? They don't know.

So here was my, you know, and I've talked about this on the show. before there's my 66 Cadillac that I had for a while and I'll zoom in on the plate there is the New York plate and as you can say my New York plate says B-D-Y-N-T-R-N-K which is the abbreviation for body and no way that was really your license plate B-D-Y N-T-R-N-K right so I call and it's just like this woman's story how arbitrary is so I go I want the license plate to say those letters. And she's like, and she's like, wait, give them to me again. She writes them out.

She's like, uh, no, hon. And I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, that's body and trunk. And I'm like, what? Wait. Oh my God. No way. I go, no, no, no.

It's a bunch of us have bought this old Cadillac and those are our initials. Oh, she's like, really? She's like, what are the initials? What are your friends? And I'm like, oh, well, I mean, it's. Bill Dyer and it's, and I literally go, Yonic Noah for YN. Like, I'm just trying to make it up. And so I get through and the last one, I'm like, and it's like Ned Kelly.

And she's like, uh, so those are your just friends initials. I'm like, yeah, what I just read? He's like, well, why are they in this order? Why don't we do this? Why don't we put Bill Dyer second? I'm like, no, Bill paid the most. Bill paid the most. This is a very, this is a very.

specific order. If she had just said, tell me again who TR is, I would have been like, no, I wouldn't give her a completely new name. Yeah. That's all she had to do is say, tell me who TR is again. That's great. And so she did it.

She did it. And then she goes, ah, whatever. Okay, you got it. Oh, I love the DMV. People would pull up to me on the Long Island Expressway, the LIE, I, and they would just be honking, dying, laughing once they figured it out. Eric Lieberman, who's our friend from when we worked on the Ellen DeGeneres show, for April Fool's one year. And I didn't realize this until maybe April 11th.

I noticed I had a Volkswagen. I drove a Volkswagen. And he put a license plate frame on it that said, Ultimate PimpMobile. And I didn't notice it. And I saw it. And I am parked in the Ellen DeGeneres parking lot in a Volkswagen with Ultimate Pitmobile. I laughed so hard.

I said to him that day, I go, I will never take that off my car. And I had the car for another six years. I never took it off. And then we've told this story before, but quickly, Dave Mason was in Memphis and he got a license plate that said Elvis on it. And it was like in the airport, like a dumb gift. but it's a Memphis, you know, touristy license plate that says Elvis on it. So he gave it to me. So Massachusetts is a one-tag state so you don't have a front license plate.

So I put it on the front. Long story short, I can't find my car in New York City. I'm looking everywhere. I'm like thinking I'm losing it. I'm like, I know I part here. I look for so long. Finally I call. My car was towed.

So then I'm like, why was my car towed? They're like, oh, you owe a lot of money on license on parking fees. I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're like, you owe $32,000 in parking tickets. I'm like, what? I go, for what? I go, on the Massachusetts plate, they're like, no, on the Elvis Tennessee plate. They towed me because of that ticket.

And then I start to get into it with them. And an article should be written on this. And the guy goes, the only ticket. And by the way, it might have been more than $32,000. The only license plate that had as high or higher amount of parking fines levied against it was a Jesus plate. I'm like, you guys should have a meeting and talk about what's going on because these aren't real license plates. And once I could prove Massachusetts was a one plate state, I had to go pick up the car, but I got it for free. Oh, my God.

And they made me remove the plate. Do you think it was Elvis's original tickets from when he was all zonked out on drugs and just parking in front of fire hydrants in Memphis? Just shooting out the window with his revolver. Just shit-faced. Yeah. Shitting his pants. All right. Let's get to ethical questions.

Ethical questions. Here they are. All right. We're going to do a couple in a row here. They're not juicy. They're not as juicy as usual. Is it okay to break up? with a troubled friend.

Absolutely. Yes. I mean, look, I'm all about, I'm all about boundaries and especially now with my kids, when they have issues with friends. You break up with your kids. Yes. And I see the drama and the energy that goes into these relationships. And I just say, you have a right to say, I don't want this in my life.

You don't have to stay friends with somebody. And, uh, I mean, I've, broken up with a couple very close friends. And I think that you got to thin the herd at a certain point. Life, there's only so much time in life and energy in life. And just because somebody was your friend doesn't mean that later on they don't meet the criteria for what brings joy into your life. I'm not saying if someone's troubled, like I got friends that are drug addicts and alcoholics that I stay in touch with a lot and I try to support. But not if they just have become assholes.

Right. You are loyal. As you said, you're seeing Louis C.K. later today. Someone would consider that very loyal. All right, this is kind of related. What should I do about the bully in my social circle? It always takes one of you to stand up, you know, because bullies, everybody thinks well i don't know i don't want to hurt his feelings or we you know if you stand up to a bully

they back the fuck down 99% of the time and uh my daughter just went through this with somebody in her circle and she said something she was the only one that said something and the person uh the person showed up acknowledged it and it helped nice i think you could solve both of these It's like put the bully in touch with the troubled friend. There you go. Here's a great person to bully. This person's rattled with issues right now. They're troubled.

Yeah, you send out a group text of let's all meet at Jay's Pub. And then you separately text everybody else on the chain and say, don't go. Let's just let these two go. Yeah. And then trouble meets bully. Yep. I like it. Last one.

My father had an affair while my mother was dying. Should I tell my siblings? Absolutely not. I think it's completely appropriate at that time for a man to seek solace to need affection. His wife has let him down. I mean, not, you know, not emotionally, but on a physical level, she has let him down. And I think in my marriage vows, we took out in sickness and in health. It just says in health.

in health in robust tight fit health that's how it's going to endure I don't know I don't want to get a lawyer on this but I'm wondering what befell the wife's health

maybe the affair was killing her that's right maybe it started before she was healthy and then my dad's affair is killing my mom that's how it should be worth my dad's old school syphilis

she was hanging her around the docks. She got syphilis from some sailors. All right. So there's your ethical questions. All right. What are we doing? Entertainment? Let's do some entertainment. There we go. Hillary Swank, who's a friend of the show by one degree of separation because she did a TV show with a friend of ours. And she was delightful. Alaska Daily or something? Alaska Daily. Allegedly. Allegedly had a ten. encounter with the mother of two terminally ill children at LAX airport.

You never like that. Here's the thing. Nobody reads past the headlines on their news feed. So like if you just leave it at that, that's bad for her. If you're sick at an airport, if you're sick at an airport, aren't all of you terminally ill? Get it? There you go. Why do they call it a terminal?

All the words. Why a terminal? Jada Baffis, who was taking her son's Mason and Jack, 7 and 4. on a make-a-wish trip to Disneyland claim that Swank 51 snapped at her when she mistakenly thought Bafus was taking a picture of the actress's two-year-old twins,

A-Aia and Ome. Ohm. What the fuck? What is he? What is he going to be a meditation coach? At baggage claim, I was walking next to Hillary Swank, Baffish shared in a since deleted Instagram post,

and I did a double take on her because it's Hillary Swank and I'm a fan of her movies and stuff. And then I took my phone out because I got distracted and trying to find my make-a-wish kids and my husband. I was trying to call him and I think I just took out my phone and she thought I was taking a picture of her. She was having a bad day. Swank allegedly then told Baffus,

here's the incident. Quote, I hope you enjoy that picture and then stormed off a little bit. A little bit. Then she says it was just the wrong place, wrong time. It just hurt my feelings because I was starting my son's Make a Wish trip, which she wouldn't have known. But just one of those situations where it was one of my first encounters with a celebrity and I thought it was a little comical. Could this lady play my Make a Wish Kids card anymore?

At this point, the kids are like, Mom, I have a new wish that you shut the fuck up. Who cares about Disneyland? Stop embarrassing me. It is It reminds me that Sarah Silverman joke Which is they should make a wish Should really be called Make a Second Wish Hillary Swank made a wish that this bitch

Would take a spill into the luggage carousel Yeah I mean Hillary I mean she's baiting it seems Hillary as if like Hillary Oh my God I didn't know Hillary should send an envelope to the house Which the mom will clearly think Is a giant check or gift or something

thing and it should just say nice try yeah this is why i'm glad my career started stalled out in the middle so i don't have to deal with this kind of shit i basically didn't hear anything in this story after the words ayah and oh i mean that is distracting i guess it's good because this way uh she ensures that she's not going to ever yell at her kid because if the kid pisses her off She's going to have to say, oh, um. Ome. Oh, meanwhile, fast forward. Aya and Oam are going to be make-a-wish kids,

and they're going to wish for different names. After all the trauma, they might be really hurting. Close to killing themselves, so it's going to be a real make-a-wish. I wouldn't fuck with the lady who starred in a million-dollar baby. She'll beat the shit out of you. Yeah, man. She's a tough dude. Let's make America, Florida.

That's like America, Florida. All right, this is from Dave G who emailed it into us. Florida man allegedly crashes stolen BMW and he gives a bizarre explanation to the deputies. Okay. Florida man who allegedly crashed a stolen BMW at what was described as more than a hundred miles an hour told deputies he had, quote, teleported into the vehicle when they found him bloodied and dazed beside the wreck. Calvin Curtis Johnson, great name, 36, struggled in the video to explain

how he ended up behind the wheel of the stolen car. I don't know how I got in the car. I teleported or something. Deputies said Johnson stole the BMW from Bicentennial Park. A witness at the park told deputies he saw a confused-looking man get into the car. A bystander who saw the crash told deputies that BMW appeared to reach 130 miles an hour. Well, listen, teleporting is very rapid. It's very quick.

Oh, God. No, this is slow for teleporting. He was holding up traffic for all the years. There was BMWs going light speed, honking at him. 130 before crashing and the rescuers had to cut Johnson out of the wreckage. As the deputy handcuffed him to a patrol vehicle, Johnson exclaimed, You saved me from the aliens. How did the bystander say he saw him go 130?

Does he have a speed gun? Is he just walking down the street in Florida with a speed gun? He's the neighborhood Karen. I bet he does. Oh, my God. Well, I want to know what they said was the guy left his keys in the ashtray. And I guess this Johnson just tried, you know, like kind of maybe every car. But was he already thinking aliens were involved before all the head trauma?

That's what I'm wondering. Well, it's in the news a lot. You know, it's all Trump talks about is the aliens, and I think it's starting to get into people's heads. It's in the news today. There's all these, I don't know what the new release is, but there's all this stuff in the news today. No, I met the illegal aliens.

Oh, it's in the news every day. Yeah. All right, it is time to make America, Kentucky again. A Kentucky woman is now in custody. for spraying a substance onto DoorDash customers' food and causes them to become sick. On December 7th, one of the two victims contacted the sheriff's office. He reported that he and his wife ordered food through DoorDash shortly after midnight.

After eating the food, they both experienced a burning sensation in their mouth, nose, throat, and stomachs. Both also began vomiting. It sounds like a typical DoorDash after midnight, if you ask me. Well, I think it was from Cinebond. They reviewed their doorbell camera footage. and observe the door-dash or placed the food off-camera on the porch and take a picture. She then sprayed a substance in the direction of the food from a small aerosol can attached to her keychain and left. She was contacted and agreed to an in-person interview.

During the initial phone call, she told detectives she had been in Evansville visiting her dad and was working for DoorDash during her stay. She told him she used pepper spray, not on the food, but to spray a spider. she said she saw while making the delivery. She explained that she is terrified of spiders. I think she's also terrified of the truth. The overnight low was 35 degrees. At that temperature, outdoor spiders in Indiana are not active

and would not be capable of crawling on exposed surfaces. So they have a picture of her. Did you see the picture? Yes. That is someone, let's just talk about it. without describing her. That is someone who is resentful that she has to share food. That's what I'm going to say.

Yes, she's wearing jeans with no belts. And if you saw the picture, you'd realize no belt necessary. Plenty, plenty to hold up the pants. Black, she's like, God, black hair, which is three quarters purple. Yeah. And she does not. It's a leather jacket. Does not look scared of a spider right there.

I mean, uh, She could be cast in the musical hairspray right away. Jonathan, is it Waters? What's his name? He would love this woman. Yeah. Woman might have a question mark after it also. Yeah.

Well, I guess with this door dash, you make a door dash to your toilet after you eat the food. I mean, this is the frame where she has the spray can out spraying with the kind of most. disgust, like just angry face kind of on her. Yeah. You know what the face looks like? The face is someone who's spraying poison on your food. That's exactly emotionally where she looks like right there. Yeah.

Enjoy this. You know what this needs? A little pepper. Hold the pepper. All right. Here's sports coming up. Oh, do not go blue. Do not go blue.

Fired Michigan coach. Sharon Moore was suicidal after cops were called to his executive assistant's apartment. All right. There is a lot to unpack here. I don't even think I have all the details, but what an S show. Sharon Moore, the lauded head coach of the University of Michigan's storied football program, threw away his $30 million career when his affair with his assistant came to light, a scandal that was capped by his stunning arrest over allegations of assault.

The 39-year-old married dad of three's promising career quickly came to a crashing end Wednesday. He was booted as Michigan's head coach that afternoon, and within the same hour, he was busted on criminal charges for allegedly breaking into the home of his executive assistant, Paige Schiver, with a knife in hand. So here are the developments Thursday. He was reported to be suicidal and had a knife after he went to Shiver's apartment following his firing. He remained in jail Thursday with a first court appearance scheduled for Friday. What's this? He was given a 55. This is the New York Post.

This is all out of order. He was given a 50. Oh, Shiverr was given a 55% raise to $90,000 last year. Maybe that's when they started looking into it. Wait, he's the head coach of Michigan and he's only making $90,000 a year. No, that's what he gave his assistant a 55% raise. He's making $30 million. I don't know if it's a year, but he's making $30 million.

All right, I've got to pay attention. The university previously investigated claims of his inappropriate relationship with a staffer, but he denied it. He was fired when the staffer came forward with evidence of the affair after he axed her. That's A-X-E-D. Michigan Football on Sides. Wait a minute. He's black, so that could mean he asked her a question.

He might have asked her. Michigan Football Insiders reported that more had been acting strange, berating assistant coaches. It's unbelievable. And by the way, they're in a bowl game in like a week or two weeks. This is crazy. I mean, this is like I don't follow football, college football, and you do, especially Michigan. I mean, how big of a deal was this guy? Pretty big because, you know, he's following up now.

they didn't have the best seasons the last two seasons and Portnoy or whatever he's on there he's a Michigan guy and at Barstool and I mean famously anyway he went on a tire but he was like literally he couldn't even wait he got out of the shower and was screaming into his phone like he could not believe this news but he's a little bit like God bless like because you weren't getting it done yeah as the coach I just think this Poor coach took the Ohio State loss very seriously and spiraled.

Yes. Or maybe, you know, they can't fire him because he's got an ironclad contract. And so they're setting them up. Is that possible? I like your thinking. I think it's a guy who maybe was thrust into the limelight and maybe there's a disequilibrium. Like he didn't feel worthy. So he was sabotaging.

Yes. That's my guess. Okay. All right. Well, it'll go down in history this day, for sure. This day, here it comes. This day in history. All right.

It's not a great one. It's not a great one. How old do you think George Washington was when he died? Give or take four years. 44. Man, 67. Okay. That's old.

That's old for those days. He died in 1799, but I thought it was more fun to ask you how old he was. The British punk rock band, The Clash released my favorite album, London Calling, on this date in what year, give or take, two years? 1980. That is a very good guess, and I'm going to give it to you because I said two years. It was 1979. Now, some nerds are probably going to say it wasn't released in America

until a month from now, which made it in 1980. But it's technically that album was out in the world in 79. And one of the reasons everyone can remember this is when the 80s were over, Rolling Stone had a cover story, the greatest albums of the 1980s. And it was so, so intentional

and telling. London Collin was their number one album of the 80s. And they're basically were saying the music was so bad in the 80s that an album that was from 1979 is the best album of the 80s. All right. Albums from the 80s that didn't suck. There are a lot.

Yeah. There are a lot. History's been kind to many. I mean, come on. You got Elvis Costello was killing it during that time. R.E.M. was very good back then. Yeah. You had the chili peppers were around in the 80s.

Were they around in the 80s? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the first albums were in the late 80s. There's a ton. There's a ton. Especially out of Britain. Philadelphia, directed by Jonathan Demi and Tom Hanks,

um, had its world premiere. Give her take three years. When did Philadelphia premiere? All right. Well, AIDS came out in about 19. When did AIDS premiere? 1980.

I think AIDS began. Okay. And so... I would say the 50s that it was being passed around. I would say it probably would have taken seven or eight year. It didn't really become big until 84. That's when it really got popular. And then I would say the movie probably took another four years.

I'm going to say 89. And what did I say? Give or take what? I don't know. I think I said three years. I think he said four years. It's 1993. three.

So it's very important if I said three or four years. I think you said four years. Oh, all right, I'm going to give it to you. All right, listen, let's keep it light. We're going to go from AIDS to the worst school mass shooting. Okay. The mass shooting at Sandy Hook in Newtown, Connecticut. I don't even want to read the details.

What year was the Sandy Hook Elementary School disaster and shooting, give or take three years? I'm going to say 2015 Good for you, you got it 2012 Nice Yeah baby You always get so psyched about school shootings

Yeah Let's see if I have one more One more Mr. Frank Sinatra Who I'm hearing a lot in this town with his Christmas album. He was born. You know where he was born?

In Jersey, I would say in Bayonne, New Jersey. Oh, you're pathetic. Hoboken. Hoboken, right, I knew that. Give or take five years. One was Mr. Frank Sinatra, the chairman of the board, born. Well, I always track these things by my mother's. My mother was born in 42.

Sinatra was around a little while, so I'm going to say 35. Who boy, 1915. What? Yep. No. Final one. I'm going to give it to you, but I'm only giving you, give or take one year on this because that was so pathetic. It's also very Italian.

Saturday Night Fever starring John Travolta had its world premiere on this day. in what year, give or take one year? Disco was big in the 70s. I'm going to say this came out in 79. You missed it, pal, 77. Oh. You had a bad day. What are you talking about?

I got the first three right. We're going to the obituary. All right. Very sad week for the comedy community in Los Angeles. Jeff Garcia, just a great dude. great comedian. I guess he had a stroke. I used to work with him a lot at the Laugh Factory and very beloved.

I don't know a lot of the details. But enjoy his stuff. Oh, no, this guy. Yeah. Yeah, he was a staple. He was very talented. Jimmy Neutron star and he was 50. Oh, that's too bad.

Yeah, I know. So our love to him and his family. God bless, rest and peace. as Jimmy Massada would say, go make God laugh. Is that what he would say? He puts that on the marquee at the laugh factor every time a comedian dies. Go make God laugh.

I think we make God laugh a lot as we're alive. Also, I think he laughs when you think you're eventually going to meet him one day. I think that's what makes him laugh the most. Here come the funnies. All right. All right. The comedy captioned contest happens. Every week, I give you one frame of a comic.

You write a punchline for it. You send it in to Fitzdog Radio at gmail.com. You put your name directly underneath your punchline. We then collate. Colate? Curate. Folate. We curate some of the best.

We read them and then we select the winner. That person gets a coozy mail directly to their house. The mail is very slow the last couple years, but you will, in fact. Oh, two people came to the show. last night that had that had coosies. A woman said she got seven and she had only ordered two. So

Wait, she got seven coosies. She got seven coosies and she'd only ordered two. I don't think that's right. But all right. And I read up God, this one guy wants one for Christmas and maybe from a year or two. So anyway, I really do think I'm going to mail him out

this week. All right, great. Good to hear. I mean that. Now let's see if I follow through. All right. Last week's comic was Santa, and he is pinching Rudolph's red nose. Rudolph is smiling. And then the two reindeer in the back, I think it's dancer and prancer. Dancer is talking out of the side of his mouth to prancer.

You have no idea. Saying a little comment. It looks like a little snide comment. Mike Tersel from Silma, Oregon, said, Santa sure is excited now that every stop we make becomes a red light. district. Okay. Santa's a little perv.

Gary Ace said, yes, we did make the right call by changing it from Adolf. Oh, okay. Harold said, you think that's sick. I hear Mrs. Claus likes to watch. Why drag her into it? It seems like a stretch. Is this seeming sexual? Mm.

All right. Sean from Ontario said, Rudolph can go fuck himself. I hope we hit a chimney tonight. I don't know. I don't know if you'd want to wish that on yourself. Mike Nester says, interesting, Rudolph. Mrs. Claus has a similar blemish on her inner thigh. Blemish? Where's the blemish?

She's got a venereal disease from Rudolph. Okay, but similar blemish. Okay. Will from Texas says Santa's new ketamine treatment is working a little too well, if you ask me. Catane? K-E-T-A-I-N-E? Why did I put that in? Ketain? Okay, so he's happy? That's what the comment is, that Santa's very happy.

Kai said, I liked it more when we made fun of his birth defect. That's not bad. Brian Walker said, that freak can't get off unless Santa rubs his nose at the same time. Sexual, yes. Okay. Well, there's slim pickings, right? It was a tough, it was a tough comic Because I did say last week,

Leave out any brown-nose jokes, Which I think would have been the low-hanging fruit. And so instead we got people going for a lot of Mrs. Claus is a whore. Rudolph is getting off on this. Those seem to be the two big themes. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's Kai. Maybe with the I liked it more when we made fun of his birth defect.

Yes, I enjoy that. Congratulations, Kai. I liked it more when we made fun of his birth defect. There it is. Next week's cartoon is there are six football players and they are doing a pyramid on the fields. And there's three guys on the bottom, two in the middle and one on top. They all have their arms outstretched as if they're doing a cheerleader-type pyramid. but they are in fact football players.

All right. See what we get out of that. Okay, I got an onion. Let's see. I got a seasonal onion. And it is, there's a picture of my Cadillac. I got to get away from that. Here we go.

We got a cat, an adorable kitten. Look at it in the Christmas tree. I've seen this many times in real life. Cat clinging to side of Christmas. tree admits that was extent of plan. That was the what? The extent of the plan? That was the extent of the plan.

That's funny. Yeah, people love cat videos. Can't lose. I have video of a cat very deep inside of a tree. Yeah. Sounds dirty. It's not. It's very literal.

Let's go to the pros. Hager and, well, Lucky is at the, at a cocktail party. And he's talking to a woman. and she's very attractive. She's got black hair, kind of a headband on. And Lucky says, is it true? You've had eight husbands that have dropped dead. She goes, yes, but it wasn't my fault.

Nobody forced them to eat the food. And he goes, I feel you. And then Hagger goes, somebody found a soulmate. I think if she's killing husbands, there's a decent chance there was grape involved. I think it was trauma-induced. What is Hager thinking? I don't get this one. Is Hager thinking, oh, Lucky, that's good because Lucky hardly eats, so he found.

Is it her bad food or was she poisoning them? I think he's just making fun of Lucky's bad judgment that he'll actually fall for her. Yeah. I think you're looking way too hard at a not great. So maybe she's a bad cook. That's it? Yeah. So I feel you.

who's like somebody found a soulmate. So that's Hager's commentary on Lucky. I don't get it. Yeah. All right. Not a great one. But it does remind me of there is a really good series right now on Netflix with Elizabeth Olson from Wanda Vision. She's Mary Kay and Ashley's younger sister, who I fucking love her.

Yeah, she's great. And then the co-star is the guy who played the brother on Ozark, who had the manic episodes. Oh, yes. That guy is talented as shit. Anyway, it's, I can't remember the name of the series, but it's about an affair. It's in Texas in the 70s. A couple has an affair. and then the guy's wife ends up ax to death.

And it's a true story. And it's so goddamn good. Okay. But basically the defense was she was triggered into killing this woman. And the defense got away with portraying her as somebody that was having a flashback from childhood, which is why she lost it and axed this woman to death. Oh, wow. Yeah, the way to give away the ending, Greg.

Is it love and death? death? Yes. From 2023. Yes. I remember that. Loretta is in the menswear section. They're very religious and all that. Yeah. Yes. Well, the whole town is. I mean, it just makes you think, thank God I did not grow up in a religious town in Texas in the 70s. It was just. Yes. She's really cute in that. She's adorable. Yeah.

Loretta's in the menswear section of the store. She says to her friend. I don't know what to buy for Leroy. He already has a shirt. Okay. I don't know why I like that one so much. And then this one is just horrible wordplay, but I know you like wordplay sometimes. There's a couple getting married at the altar, and Loretta goes, please stop referring to her vows as a veiled threat.

There you go. Right? Right. That's not bad. And now we got Dopey, who's leaving for work. Dagwood Bumstead is outside. He takes a carpool to work, which just makes you think, like, what a fucking low level he is attained in America's workforce. That he shares a car ride.

So he's running after his carpool, and Blondie runs after him. She's dressed in a bathrobe, which is cut above the knee. It's like kind of a rose car. beautiful bathroom. The breasts look good. And he's screaming at the car. And she yells at him, Honey, hold up.

And then she holds a phone over their head, which has a mistletoe on it. And they kiss each other. And there's little heart signs above their heads. And then he gets in the car. And then somebody goes, your mistletoe app is getting annoying. And the woman goes, okay, we need to talk.

And Dagu goes, I love it. Okay. Since when? is this guy capable of sharing romance with his wife on any level he normally acts like an eight-year-old boy if you wanted to get him and stop and pay attention to you you would have to slap salami on your bare tits I think yeah the right one would be

she'd have the app and hold it up and he wouldn't get it and ignore it and not do it yes and then get in the car and make out with herb because he's a homosexual yes Yeah. Jesus. All right. Well, listen.

Happy holidays. I think we're having another one before the end of the year. So we've got to figure out an end of the year spectacular. We'll do, of course, our predictions for next year. We'll look at our predictions from last year. And I remember one of them was how long would Elon Musk last? And I think I nailed it at four months. Oh, wow.

We'll see. We'll go back and see. I want to remind you guys. I'll be coming out to bananas, December 26th and 27th, and then Cleveland at the end of the year. Fitzdog.com for tickets. Mike, anything you want to promote? I would guess the clash, London calling.

Sure. All right, that's a good guess. Yes, of course. Double album loaded a million different styles and influences on there. They started to, even before that, leave punk and become much more. of a more well-rounded kind of sound. Yeah. That's not the way to describe it.

But anyway, legendary album. All right, very good. All right. Enjoy yourselves, everybody. Good luck with your shopping and your planning. And we'll talk to you soon. Have fun in San Francisco. Take itish.

Tag itish. I thought he was auditioning for Fast and Furious. Sundown Edition.