Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 44 1/3/21

Episode Date: January 3, 2021

The Annual predictions are made and we see how Greg & Mike did with last year’s picks. Did country star Tyler Rich kill a man while jogging? Or was it Wheeler Walker Jr?     Follow Mike Gibbons on Twitter @GibbonsTime

Sunday Papers, Sunday Papers, Sunday Papers, Sunday Papers. Read all about it. Happy New Year. Pick up a paper. Find out what's happening. All right. Hear ye, hear here ye he's still going welcome to sunday papers mike welcome to 2021 a little crazy yeah uh i don't know is it the irish in us that like the the most i could do new year's's friend texted him like, he lives a happy new year. And all I could respond was, I really hope the second half of 2021 isn't terrible.

Yeah. That's the most joy I could like muster. We're already writing off the first half of 2021. I mean, they're predicting 150,000 deaths in a month. Are they? Something crazy like that. Don't quote me. The corrections have already begun for next week. No, but there's an alarming number that they say are going to come out. And that's without fully understanding this mutation that's happening. We're living in a Marvel movie. There's a mutation coming. Are there three mutations or something crazy? I don't know. I got something on my asshole.

I don't know what it is. Meanwhile, we're going to hopefully keep this short today. I know we always say that. I decided, and I feel a little embarrassed about it. Technically, have I violated the stay-at-home order? I guess I have. Well, you're out of state. I know you're still in state. You're in Palm Springs. Is that it?

Went out to the desert. Just, yeah, safe, not leaving. But I think that's the kind of mentality that gets us in trouble. If everybody had that, luckily, I was raised to think that not all rules apply to me. Well, speaking of which,'ll be uh performing this weekend in uh indy indianapolis that has not been

canceled january 7th through 9th still happening one of my favorite clubs also phoenix coming up january 21st to the 24th. Where else? Give me Kansas. Kansas City, January 28th through the 30th. Perfect. Perfect. Portland, helium, February 18th through 20th. And then also some dates in Sacramento and Raleigh and San Francisco.

All safe, all masked, half capacity. So great. You tell me how those emergency rooms are. Wow. half capacity so great you tell me how those emergency rooms are oh wow it's what i do it's what i do well it's hopefully what you do this year yeah hopefully for all comedians my god tomorrow and musicians and everybody yeah yeah do you think skiing is safe? Well, here's the funny thing I didn't think about.

But, you know, when I visited Jack, our buddy in Wyoming, you know, all people who really know ski, if you think about it more than 10 seconds, you realize, oh, my God, the problem is the lodges. Yeah. All right. So like in Jackson, where I've skied when it was 20 below. So let's say it's an average. Let's say it's five degrees. It's five degrees and you can't go indoors. Yeah. So what does that look like? All right. It's five degrees. And let's say that your family, the feet are freezing. five degrees and let's say that your family, the feet are freezing and you're a bus ride away, you know, to wherever you're staying, like, or a long car ride. Where do you eat? Yeah. So I don't know how they're doing. I know there was lots of talk of setting up big tents,

outdoor tents. Yeah. With space heaters. Right. Space heaters don't work at five degrees. No, no. Now, I think what you got to do is just, you got to bring your, eat right before you leave, ski, and then get the fuck out of there. Don't deal with the lodges. To answer your question, though,

if you're just doing a chairlift and the lift lines are distanced, I think it's safe. And also, everyone's wearing a crazy amount of gear on their face, masks and stuff like that. All right, Mike, let's cut to the chase. It's 2021. What we do every year, usually we do it on FitzDog Radio, but now that we have our own podcast, we'll do it on here. You want to save this to the end? No.

Oh, okay, good. All right, no. Let's let them get out of here quick. Oh, you want to tease it? You want to build to it? I don't know. It seems like a teasable thing. Do we have anything at the end of the show?

Well, we got the Sunday comics. We sure do. I always forget that. All right, yeah, because I push it out of my mind when i think of family circus all right let's do it what did we do we do predictions every year we've done it for i gotta say at least 10 years we've done it every year and we we predict and then we check in and see how we did so uh this year let's take a look at 2020. Now, if we had a real show, we would have some kind of like swell of music or something. It would be weep, weep, womp.

Yours would be. For 2020? Mine would be ba-ba-ba-na-na-na-na-na-na. Total denial. Oh, I just got a note from my producer that we will have that music. All right. Nice. Clear of all hope. I hope my producer that we will have that music. All right. Nice. Clearable, I hope.

I hope it's the... All right, predictions. Let's start with sports. The Super Bowl. You predicted, Mike, of course, because you had season tickets. You said the Rams would win. I, in fact, said the rams would win i in fact said the kansas city chief now remember this is before the playoffs began when there were still you know a dozen

teams in the running i picked the kansas city chiefs in fact the kansas city chiefs won the super bowl patrick my home brought it home for me Mahomes or Mahomes? I don't care Alright How far did the Rams make it? They were in the Super Bowl They were in the Super Bowl, yeah Sorry, what am I saying?

I can't read, what do you have here? You then have Baltimore, KC I think that was the year before in the Super Bowl. Yeah. Sorry. What am I saying? Yeah. I can't read. What do you have here? You then have Baltimore, Casey. What's that? That was the year before. Oh, I see. This is organized. OK, I got you. And then we get I just cut and pasted last year's predictions and they had the predictions paying off the year before. All right. So this this year's schedule is but we're behind schedule i assume um what are you saying are we behind schedule on the nfl like is this is it a later no everything's right on track wow yeah i think you're in a lot of denial which you predicted earlier on would absolutely you you predicted the super bowl will not happen on whatever it is february 6th that it's supposed to happen on i absolutely all right let's make that one all right it's supposed

to be the 7th february 7th so let's make a prediction right now prediction right now and whether or not i don't know the chiefs beat the 49ers in the Super Bowl this past year. Yeah, I was very bummed about that. All right. But I'm going to pick the Chiefs again. All right. You're going to pick the Chiefs. All right. Mike?

I didn't pick them last time. I'm picking them for the first time this time. Greg is picking. Who am I going to pick? Pittsburgh's starting to suck the place up. They were looking good. I mean, if I was a soldier, I'd pick Tampa Bay. But that's a long shot. Pittsburgh's starting to suck the place up. They were looking good. I mean, if I was a soldier, I'd pick Tampa Bay.

But that's a long shot. But that's been my team. February 7th, how are they going to get this shit together? Wait, do the playoffs start this weekend? This is how much I'm not following sports. Also, it's a weird year. No, it's the final week of the regular season. I don't know how they're doing it. Is there no longer a down week

in between? Yeah, there's a down week. There's, what, three weeks of playoffs or two weeks of playoffs? And then the Super Bowl. Has to be more than two weeks. I guess it's three weeks, right?

The weekend's going to be the halftime talent. I'm sorry. I'm out. He better do a lot of covers. The weekend? Yeah. Is that true? Yeah.

I've never even heard of The Weeknd. You know a lot of his songs. Really? Yeah. High-pitched voice. Yeah, you know a lot of his songs really yeah high-pitched voice yeah you know him um but boy he got pissed at the grammy nominations because i don't think he got any all right so you're picking the chiefs i'll go with green bay is not i think kansas City's got to be favored, but I will go with Green Bay. Sports talk.

All right. Okay, Greg picked Green Bay. Okay, now we get to the Oscar for last year. The weekend will be better than goddamn Maroon 5, at least that. Thank God. Go ahead. All right, and I'm also making a note. Mike said we'll be delayed

there's no way and then the the oscar i picked star is born you picked parasite in fact parasite one yes it's one to one right now. I think I win every year because I pick the movie that has most diversity. Smart. Because the Academy is terrified of seeming like they're not inclusive. I don't know. Last year, it was extremely uninclusive. A lot of black people got knocked out. It was a pretty white Oscars last year.

What are you talking about? Parasite won two best movie awards. Maybe I'm thinking of the year before. No, it was the after school special that's known as the Green Book. Yeah. Which is, look, blacks and whites, there's no problem if you just, you know, have two hours. Yeah. Yeah. If it's if it involves it all works out.

Huh. If it involves the Holocaust in any way, put all your money on that movie for the Oscars. Yes. A mentally challenged Holocaust. Yes. Trans woman. That's I already started the screenplay. You should, as a joke, write that screenplay. That would be fucking hilarious.

But how could you have. All right. We're going to start the year off on a completely on PC. Is there any such thing as I mean, this is the wall. God, I shouldn't think out loud. All right. Just excuse me, but I am just vetting. All right. All right. If you're if there was a mentally challenged person and you thought they were let's say they were your child and they were starting to identify as not the gender that they were born as do you do you allow that they're remember they're they're very mentally handicapped do you allow that by the way all these phrases i don't think i've used a single proper phrase it's intellectually disabled yes assigned gender is how you're born and would you do do, do you let it then go? Like, or is it, you know, maybe they don't really

are feeling that way, you know, because as I already said, they're retarded. Hey, hey, come on. Sorry. All right. I did that on purpose. All right. So anyway, we can leave this subject

as soon as quickly as we came into it. I think you got to let him be, man. Let him be. If they want to switch over, let him switch over. Listen, I just want to make sure my screenplay holds water. I mean, if I want to spend all this time on a mentally handicapped trans person, I got to make sure it makes sense. Right. You got to have every trope in there, though.

There's got to be a mother who loves him, but a father who's an alcoholic and kind of disappears on him a little bit. Well, also, there's nuances in my screenplay because while they're mentally challenged and they're trans, they're mentally challenged and they're trans. They're not sexually active because, of course, the wheelchair. It's also why they're having a hard time escaping the concentration camp.

Hopefully those trains are handicapped, accessible. Pretty nice of the Germans. I do want that. And they're also to allow the wheelchair. Normally you'd be like, just pile that person over there in the bunk. Okay. Let's get to our next category. All right. Which was stock market. Will it be up? Will it be down? I, of course, said it was down. You said it would be up. You are, in fact, very correct. It it's way up i'm shocked at both those priests but meanwhile i really bet against it so that shouldn't even count all i've been doing i held one stock and it's a disaster now but my my stocks i put them all super conservative and i missed out on

a huge swing i think the market's up what 20, 20% this year? It's so disconnected. But what they're saying is it actually, now that we're financially, we're very much, we're more than even a socialist country. I would say with all the buybacks and all the, and you know, and the Fed just running up the debt, it's just, it's a, there's a new, everyone's saying, and it began, I'm trying to remember where it began. Oh, it began, I think, Bush-Cheney, where there's just now less of a focus at all on the national debt,

and with these 0% interest rates or close to it, they can just keep doing this. Let's see. I think stock market is up 30% in the last eight months. I don't know. I think it's got to be 15 to 20%. I'm going to say it's down. I think Biden.

Who knows? Listen, what happens in Georgia Tuesday is going to determine everything. So I'm saying up. I'm saying down. Wow. Up from here, huh? All right. Oh, we got to pick the Oscar for this year.

How many movies were there? There's not a lot. I can talk about it now. I saw what I think is one of the most, they've all been delayed. You know that, right? Oh, I didn't know that. Yes, the Oscar window did not end, you know, for honoring movies of 2020, did not end on the 31st. They've extended it, I think, two months or something.

Yeah. So all the movies that they normally roll out, the big hitters in December, have not rolled out yet. Okay. But I got a screener of one of the most anticipated, Nomadadland with Francis McDormand. Francis McDormand. And I watched it. Yeah. How was it?

It was interesting. I don't think it would definitely not be. Remember, I really liked Moonlight. But do you remember how Moonlight was just like, I don't know the right word, almost like meditative. You were just watching. Yeah. You felt very much like an observer.

The movie wasn't trying to manipulate you and pull you. I don't know. There was something very, I wish I had the right language as a critic, but there was almost like a passive experience with it. Like it was a meditation you were watching. And that's what I felt with this one. Right.

How's her acting? She'll win the Oscar, right? I'll tell you what, man. Her acting is always pretty amazing. Yeah. I will tell you what, though. They, so these people are real. They live in a van or an RV.

And they're nomads and they exist. They shot this movie among real nomads and let them act. Oh, my God. Like that was the most amazing thing. When you're watching this, you're like there is no way this person is an actor. And then you were right. No shit. Yup. And speeches like about why they've chosen that lifestyle.

I, it was actually, I'm going to change it back. I think it was amazing movie there. Well, I think that's like a Cohen. I mean, were the Cohen brothers involved? Because a lot of times I'll watch a Cohen brothers movie and I won't dig it that much the first time through,

but then I start to realize how great it is later. That happened to me a little bit with Moonlight, but I kind of caught on about halfway through that. I'm watching something really special, but I would say, no, this is a woman who I probably shouldn't know, but it was a book, and she wrote the movie, and she directed it. Okay. Wow. And it is, I mean, it has to be one of the cheapest movies shot. Maybe, but it's in these nomad camps, and it, and it's like it's it's it's it's good.

It's very interesting no matter what. All right. I'm going to let's wait. We'll make our picks then in, say, March. Yeah, we can't. We don't even know. Yeah, we don't even know. All right. We said Bitcoin. You said we both said down. In fact, it went from ready for this. You said we both said down. In fact, it went from, ready for this? It was 7,000 at the beginning of the year. I think it then went down, by the way.

Guess what it's at right now. I know the last couple of weeks has been lunacy. Guess. I mean, I know it's over 20,000. 33,000. Wow. What's your prediction for next year? I don't think we're going to be using currency anymore.

I think we're going to go back to a barter system. So what are goats going to be worth in 2022? Exactly. So here's the one year. Yeah, it dipped. All right. Technically, January 2nd, it was at 6946 and then it went down to low fives yeah in march right i think that's its low point like 5165 or something so, it went down in March. And then in, let's pick, it was at 10,000 in October. That's when my chiropractor told me to buy it. And so I called my broker and he goes,

that's fucking crazy. Don't touch it. I would have tripled my money since October. It was still in November at 13 and a half. Yeah. And now it's at 33. All right. Up or down for next year? Down, down, down. All right. I'm saying up.

We guessed on whether it would be an earthquake. You are an earthquake fetishist. You've predicted it about New York for the last 25 years. You say 14th Street is a fault line. Where did you say? Didn't you say 14th Street is a fault line? I just want to make sure you got it right. It is.

That is a fault line. And now you've been saying there's going to be an earthquake out here this year. We had some serious rumbles, but nothing that would be considered like a memorable earthquake. I'm going to give you that. We definitely didn't. There was a big one not far away that everyone in L.A. felt, but that's not what I predicted. No. I'm predicting fallen structures in Los Angeles.

For next year. Okay. Yes, I am. Yes, of course. I'm going to say no. You, of course, are going to say yes. We are overdue. You're the same guy that you short

the stock market, you rent instead of buying a place because you're afraid. No, I've owned two homes in Los Angeles, so it's not like I'm immune to it, but yes. How can you buy when the earthquake knocks down the front of your house and all the homeless pile in your living room? Sorry, yeah, I'm a weirdo that I'm sitting on the sideline.

So are you technically, if you're sitting in the ruins of your home but living in a tent, are you technically homeless at that point? Right. I think a lot of homeless would like to trade with you, put it that way. Yeah. All right. We guessed on impeachment, whether or not there would be impeachment proceedings against Donald Trump. I said yes. You said no. In fact, he was impeached this year. Yeah. People often don't understand that being impeached doesn't mean you were convicted of a crime it means that was proceeding against you it's sort of like hiv and aids we'll get to that though that's coming up we're gonna now we have to guess will trump peacefully leave the White House on January 20th.

What's your guess? I guess yes. Okay. I'm going to guess no. Really? Yeah. And then a follow-up. What?

That's crazy. And then a follow-up question is, will he be charged in the coming year? In the coming year. Will he be charged? Well, he'll be charged. Will he be convicted? I mean, he's definitely going to be charged. You think coming year. Will he be charged? Well, he'll be charged. Will he be convicted? I mean, he's definitely going to be charged. You think New York's going to charge him?

No, there's a lot of chatter of just putting it behind. Yeah, no, I've heard that. All right, so you're going to say no. I'm going to say yes. All right. Wait, what just happened? I think he is going to be charged oh you think he is oh sorry okay yeah um we also guess will mike be in a relationship uh i said yes you said no in fact

it is no i i stayed out of relationships just to win that one uh next question was will oh for next year let's guess for next year uh i'm gonna say yes yes in a covet year huh okay interesting you just don't get it this is you're even selling your relationships you married people don't get it next question was will louis ck be back uh i said yes you said don't know uh for the for the three months that comedians were touring he was touring heavily so i was right on that one i would i yeah that one i think we have to when we talked about this before the podcast briefly, I think you came up with the right answer, which is it doesn't count this year because everybody, all standups are out. Yeah. I mean, some are out.

You know, the Crystalia, some are out more than others, but I don't think this is the year to judge Louis because I think you would have been right because he also was featured, you know, in that that documentary on Showtime about the comedy store. Oh, right. Right. So. No, but I mean, he was actively on the road continuously for the first few months of 2020. And then when I did some dates in the fall, I did two dates in the fall, and he was playing the same clubs as I was a little bit after May. Wait, was that hour he released, which I liked a lot? Was that this year? He released it in, like, February or something.

Yeah, I think you win that one then. All right. it in like uh february or something yeah i think you win that one then all right uh so the next one is will melania still be in the white house we both said yes she is in fact decorating the white house and celebrating christmas this year uh will dylan be alive i said said yes. You said no. You're wrong. He is alive in the White House. I really said no? Yep. Wow. All right.

Not only, I mean, look how wrong I am. His album is on many critics' top ten list of the year. It's great. It's such a meandering, comforting thing. Yeah. And then finally we guessed who was going to die. I don't have who predicted. I think collectively we guessed.

We said Kirk Douglas, Bill Cosby, and RBG. So we got two out of three. I don't know if that's something to celebrate. I don't feel good about it. I don't want to go back and dig it up, but I think I also predicted 300,000 would die of a cold. A seasonal cold.

That was launched by a Chinese laboratory. Yeah. The Bill Cosby, man. Yeah, I would have lost money on that. I thought for sure the stress. But I guess if you're a full-blown maniac, you don't feel that stress and shame. Yeah, right. Yeah. All right, so next year we'll check in.

We'll see how we did. I would say I came out ahead this year without a doubt. I guess there's a doubt. But all right, did we make predictions i guess yeah we made them as we went we can make more next week i'm gonna i'm gonna pick some more questions for next week and we can put them down we have to think about who's gonna die we have to think about emmys there's a lot of things we didn't cover all right sounds good like well like well hey here's a prediction because we can't predict some things like a Democratic nominee and stuff like that.

Right. But Georgia— Oh, we got to predict the Georgia election? Yeah. So what's the latest? All right, Georgia election. I'm scared to read it. I think—well, the polls, I know that there was a lot of fundraising from the Democrats that stopped because they didn't believe they could win and they didn't want to waste the money.

But then one of the Republicans was exposed to COVID from a family member and so had to pull out of the last week of campaigning. So the question is, will Democrats... I don't know. Then I read some headlines or maybe the first few sentences where, you know, they shattered the record for early voting turnout. It's like 3 million or whatever. And then the last runoff like this, I think it was 2 point,

the highest before this was 2.1 million. So are you going to guess, will the Democrats take the Senate? I don't know. They pulled the shadiest shit in that state, as we know already. So in terms of making— They have to win both races. What?

They have to win both races. What do you mean? Oh, no, I know, but they create obstacles to vote. That's what the shady shit I'm referring to. So I don't know. I they create obstacles to vote. That's what the shady shit I'm referring to. So, I don't know. I haven't read about it. I mean, I'd like to say, yes, they take both seats, the Democrats, but I don't know. All right, I'm going to put yes.

A lot of Republicans are voting in person Tuesday is the prediction. Yeah. If they're not at the White House protesting the last election being false. It seems. If I if I was put in charge of each right in two scenarios, I think I'd bet on I would do better getting the Republicans, you know, at least one seat, because the picture you could paint of if the Democrats and Biden and Kamala Harris get total control, you could just fearmonger like what this crazy socialist trigger happy, meaning constantly triggered like Los Angeles administration would look like. Yeah. All right. So you're going to say no. And in Georgia, I think even the progressives are not like New York or California progressive.

You know what I mean? Right. Some are, but generally they're not. So I think I think you'd be able to scare people and all right, that's a bit much. So I think you'd be able to scare people and, all right, that's a bit much. They got the presidency. They got the vice presidency. But let's keep a tab on them by not giving them the Senate. Yeah. Okay.

And they got the House. Democrats have the House. Yeah. Without a super majority. And obviously the Republicans have the Supreme Court. We want to thank, shout out for our song this week from Josh Pryor. I wouldn't say it was necessarily the song we would want to start the year with. It's a little sad.

But we did. But we did start it with a sad song, but it's a good sad song. We are actively seeking out songs for 2021. Send them in. Love to play them. We want to thank Eric Chirilanzio for the logo of us with the Rat Pack, which I fucking love. Yeah. Our heads are slightly larger than Sammy Frank and Dean.

You know, Frank's looks a little fake, too, but anyway. Yeah. And then let's hit some corrections. This comes from Michael by the Sea. Magic never had AIDS. He was HIV positive. Why is he talking about him in the past tense? He is HIV positive.

What does he think here? All right. Yeah. Which develops into AIDS. You got to water it. But being magic, he was treated by the best doctors in medicine, and it was held in check. If it had progressed to AIDS, he would have died because no one survived AIDS. Again, in the past tense, like AIDS is gone. survived AIDS.

Again, in the past tense, like AIDS is gone. So I guess, did we really say AIDS? Did we really said magic had AIDS? Probably, but... No, but I do remember I did say... I guess we were talking about AIDS and you're like, you can die. And I think I clarified that it's manageable. You live with it and you manage it. Yeah. That was the difference we had. Yeah. But I think in a weird way, we're both like, I think you were referring to AIDS and I guess I

was referring to, you know, magic and HIV. Is it the same thing with COVID and coronavirus? Does one precede the other one, or are they two names for the same thing? That's interesting. I think they're the same thing. COVID is just one. They're feeling a little fancier. Yeah. Well, COVID is technically, right? Isn't it COVID-19 or whatever the fuck it is?

But coronavirus is a much more general category. Oh, right. So COVID is a coronavirus. I don't even think we should talk anymore about this. Will the new strain be called Corona 20? Corona light? Corona light? Yeah, just as much alcohol but uh less calories uh the next one comes from sydney australia from lp uh love the podcast but ever since episode one listening to the two of you try to recall music facts is akin to having wisdom

teeth removed without anesthetics. Landau produced the U2. Remember we were talking about who produced the U2 album. It was Lan-Wa. He has to be correcting you. Danielle, I know Lan-Wa backwards and forwards. I think he's correcting you. Either way, it's two letters. Hold on.

Lan-Wa, by the way was you two both albums but especially uh octung baby was amazing and i mean uh sorry the uh joshua tree and then he did go on octung baby he was a producer on one but i know him especially because of uh he's great with dylan he did Oh Mercy down in New Orleans where he set up his studio. And of course, also an album I know you love, Peter Gabriel's So. Huh. No, it's big, big stuff. All right, go ahead. Landau was Bruce Springsteen, among others.

Landau was, I think, a critic who then turned he was very much loved uh springsteen so then he produced them um and then he said the bgs made first ever tape loops in popular music he says i could go on well why don't you go on why don't you tell us the correct answer i could i could go on really could? You could continue typing, not answers? And LP, first of all, I hate to criticize LP, which is interesting if he's Mr. Music that his name is LP. Yeah. Because he then goes on to compliment me at the end of this little note.

I had a feeling you'd mention that. Well, I don't know what GOAT stands for, but that's what he called me. Keep up the great work. Lay off the masturbation. Mike is the GOAT. Are you serious, I don't know what GOAT stands for, but that's what he called me. Keep up the great work. Lay off the masturbation. Mike is the GOAT. Are you serious? You don't know what GOAT is? No, I do.

I was just fishing. So, but he better not come back at us with like fucking Frank Zappa or something. Yeah. We safely kind of said the first ever loop, or we might have even said one of the first. Anyway, in popular music i'd like to know yeah i'd like to know who it is we might be wrong but it's definitely one of the first for sure and frank zappa by the way and no no disrespect because moon unit is a friend of mine and i love her uh i cannot listen to more than six seconds of frank zappa yeah i had

the guy in high school who would be in like a you know one of those movies almost like fast times a character like that he couldn't stop talking about frank's app yeah i know he knew i liked dylan so he was really trying to push zap on me and he's probably right there's probably i just never uh went into it um down that hole i should there's obviously something there i'd like all right this one comes from harold pitaway sometimes your knowledge of history scares me the gulag was the government agency in charge of the soviet network of forced labor camps set up by order of Vladimir Lenin. Thank you for your podcast. I kind of corrected you on the fly there, I think, last week.

Okay, I think I said it was Jewish. Was it Jewish? Was the gulag specifically for Jewish people? Are you just trying to open this up to more letters now? All right. Jim Hamilton. Also, the first tape loop in a gulag, I think, is. Go ahead. Good, good, good, good, good guess.

Jim Hamilton said, could you tighten the faucet a little? The one spewing uninformed world news from your mouths into the ears of the nation's youth. China does not hold 100 percent of our debt, and they don't hold $7 trillion of it. That was all you, Fitzsimmons. He's saying that they hold about $1 to $2 trillion, while Japan holds $2 to $3 trillion. And he's also saying that the national debt is now at $15,000, not $7. How much, is this even the right way to ask the question? How much of our debt does the U.S. government now hold?

Is that even the way to ask the question? How much of our debt does the U.S. government now hold? Is that even the way to ask that question? Do we owe money to ourselves? Yeah. In other words, did we print money that we can't back up? Now, I think people who really follow money are dying laughing right now because that's all we've been doing is printing money to make this throw at this problem. Right. And we're about to print more. But I'll tell you what, though.

I was very surprised to hear that Japan holds more than China. That's really interesting. Yeah. Especially because Japan went through such hard times over the last 20 years. Anyway. You know, Canada should loan us some money. I mean, we literally, it makes no sense that we don't own canada they should take that in hold hold hold on one second keep going no you keep talking about whatever it is i feel

like i love canada but they are they we could just make them an extension of minnesota michigan make them an extension of Minnesota, Michigan, Washington, we could absorb them. So they should lend us money. I think they have a lot. If they would stop with the socialized medicine, they could lend us some money. Did you just come up with that line once I got back or have you been talking the whole time? I've been talking the whole time. You should have said something really flagrant to end with. Okay. All right, listen, let's get to the news,

because we've got to keep this short. We've got to hit some front page, and then get out of here. All right, let's just, yeah, let's move it along. Extra! Extra! We all love it! Extra! A New York state man filed a class action lawsuit against the makers of King's Hawaiian sweet rolls, alleging the company misled him into believing the California manufactured sweet rolls are made in Hawaii. Robert Galinsky of Yonkers. Well, there's the problem. What does Yonkers well there's the problem what does yonkers have a fucking racetrack that uses dogs and uh and a state fair that has guidos punching fucking you know those bags you you they're like

the punching bags and you try to see how strong you are yeah it's all just guys in joey buttafuoco pants and mullets trying to impress their girlfriends and it eventually turns into a fist fight. That's Yonkers. Yeah, Yonkers. It's in the name. So he sued them. He sued them because he said it prominently features high-low Hawaii on the front

but the back reveals they're made in Torrance, California. Well, sorry. Sorry Robert Galinsky. Here's the other thing. He was getting a Cleveland Steamer in Yonkers. And he said, wait a minute. I'm going to sue this chick because you can't shit on my chest in Yonkers and call this a Cleveland Steamer.

Wait. Are you saying Pepper is not actually a doctor? I'm going to sue the book. It says Dr. Pepper right on the can. Right. My wife gave me a pair of red socks for Christmas. Not from Boston. Says on the back they're from China.

That's a lawsuit. So I didn't see this story until kind of right now, but there's probably a million. He should just go after all these places that put a location in their name, which there are millions. There's tons that just put Hawaii in it. I'm going to sue JetBlue because there's wings. They're not from Buffalo.

It says right on the wings. I got on the tarmac and I looked underneath. Made in Toronto. Wait, what? I'm not following the JetBlue? Buffalo wings. There's wings on the plane. Okay.

Can we stretch this? I had to exhaust all possibilities so quickly. Can we stretch this premise any thinner? No, but I'm just spacing out, though. There's millions of products with the location name in it. I mean, Fiji Water, I guess, is technically from Fiji. It is from Fiji, as a matter of fact. You have a bit about it.

Yep. And then what else? Cleveland Steamer was a good one. Yeah, I think we go out on that. Here's another great story. Oh, all right. A family of 12 siblings earned a Guinness World Record when their combined ages add up to more than 1,042 years.

The D'Cruz family ranges in age from 75 to 97 years old. Genia Carter, 75 of London, Ontario, is the youngest in the family. But she said even her oldest siblings still are in good health. They grew up in Pakistan and the family remains close knit. And they have a day ready for this. They have a daily video call at 11 a.m every day to keep in touch first of all i want to see them setting up this call wait hold on which do i hit the red icon what's this thing that looks like an arrow that moves around

but it's one of these records, also the Guinness Book, and they beat the previous record, which was nothing because no one, this is a new category. Yeah. No one ever thought

to add up and see which family. Where does the family end? It has to be the immediate family? I think it has to be siblings. It's just siblings. I think it's a family i think it has to be siblings it's just siblings i think it's a fucking great category and i think if it's a new one they set the bar pretty high i can't imagine this record ever being touched you know what mine is 157 theirs is 1042

huh what you got me beat. You got me way beat. You're barely over 100 between you and your sister. Right. What are they catching up on every day, by the way? Everybody's fucking 90 years old. Hey, so what's been going on since yesterday's call? I think the 12 of them have their scheduled call and they get on. They're like, oh, only 11 boxes.

Oh, boy. And then they have to figure it out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sally. All right. Let's get to Trump's party. New Year's Eve.

Trump has an annual party at Mar-a-Lago. Yep. Guests paid $1,000 for tickets, but they were left to party with his personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, his two adult sons, and various figures from conservative media, none of whom wore masks, after the president made a last-minute decision to ditch the event and return to

Washington. Giuliani had the virus, right? Yes. Man. So he's these rich guys, these powerful guys that were getting really great treatment, I guess. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But I think but there's a lot of people that haven't had it, and nobody wore masks, apparently. But I think it's like a status symbol now of who you got the coronavirus from. If you got it from fucking Eric Trump, that's kind of embarrassing. But if you got it from Ivanka, that's bragging rights on the internet. I'd like to get it from Vanilla Ice. I'm hoping he comes down with it oh yeah that's who performed that that was the fucking show ready for this vanilla ice and berlin the band berlin

i want to see who they went out to or those were the two that were those are the only two that were requested and they got them they were available they were available berlin uh they they had to shuttle them in real quick because they had a gig back in february 2011. but who did what did berlin do what songs did they have was berlin take my breath away uh i'm not great at that let's see berlin berlin band well this is the podcast where everybody just listens to us google they were a Sex, I'm the Metro. Oh, riding on the Metro. Remember that? No. Oh, and the Take My Breath Away from the film Top Gun.

There you go. You take my breath away. You don't have to do that. We're good. No more words. I don't know. I think they had one song. No, it sounds like they had three. Oh, okay.

But, you know, you think about Obama. They had fucking Aretha Franklin, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young. They had Berlin. Also, they're singing Take My breath away at essentially a covid party what kind of surreal world is in mar-a-lago with a president who had it giuliani who had it uh family members who still have it and they have a band playing take my breath away yeah and and night fever they covered night fever. They covered night fever. Yeah.

And a couple songs from Blood, Sweat, and Tears. Yeah. And then they have Vanilla Ice, who's really only known for singing a song by a guy who died of AIDS. So it all comes together. He's really popular, too. He's virus adjacent. Hey, Mike, you got any Florida man for us? Yes, I do.

Well, no. First, we're going international. Oh, yeah. Let's do international. And the segue is no problem about parties parties are cool and safe so don't hate on trump and mar-a-lago for having a party with no masks because a nursing home in northern in the northern belgium city of mole mol had organized the December 4th St. Nick party. So I think the technical date is the 7th or something, but these St. Nick days or whatever they're called are just as big or bigger than Christmas in Belgium from what I read briefly. Anyway, they had a troupe who were playing the beloved saint and they visited the home spreading mirth and presence.

And it turns out they might have spread more than that because at last count, this home in Belgium had 88 infections among residents, which was 42 of them were among the staff and 27 coronavirus deaths so far. Merry Christmas. St. Nick. Oh, my God. More like St. Dick. So anyway, it's awful over there. And the government's saying if we had known they were having this party, we would have shut it down.

They didn't register it. Yeah. And yeah. But geez, I mean, it's pretty late in this to think you're gonna throw a party in a nursing home yeah i mean this isn't march of last you know of spring this is december 4th yep i mean and also like you speak flemish that's that's that doesn't sound healthy. And Berlin was the band that they hired.

Who's almost a local band over there. I don't even know where Berlin's from. All right. Give me some Florida man, Mike. All right. Florida man. You like how I'm moving this along? I love it.

Florida man. I've never seen this story. 23, who posed as a doctor as a teen. All right, this is my second screenplay I'm working on. His charge was stealing $10,000 from an employer who hired him after his release from prison. Okay, the guy's name is Maliki Love Robinson. Maliki Love Robinson, 23. He was booked into Palm Beach County Jail on Thursday on charges of grand theft and fraud. He's accused

of stealing the 10,000 from his employer, United States of Freight. All of this sounds suspect. The company hired Love Robinson shortly after his release from prison in September. Love Robinson had served more than three years behind bars for posing as a doctor and practicing medicine without a license. He also stole $35,000 from an elderly patient he pretended to treat to purchase a Jaguar. Sounds like every doctor. Exactly. The fake doctor incident made worldwide headlines because Love Robinson was just 18 years old at the time. Exactly. The fake doctor incident made worldwide headlines because Love Robinson was just 18 years old at the time. Wow. Yep. Is he one of the doctors that Trump quotes all the time

regarding the virus? Yes, he is. And he's going to be appointed to the head of the Health and Human Services. But imagine that. If your doctor has acne, you may want to look a little bit further. Who is fucking stupid? There's certain crimes where you go like there's victims and there's people that are just waiting to be ripped off. I can't send an 18-year-old to jail if he got away with taking $35,000 from somebody when he's 18. He earned it. Well, when you're sitting there and this guy comes in the room, you're like, all right, you're either a complete fraud or maybe you're one of the most genius people who just rocketed through med school.

He's Doogie Howser. Yeah. But there's no in between. Yeah. He's the black Doogie Howser. Yeah. Like you're not an average 18-year-old doctor. Yeah.

There's no such thing. Right. Yeah. All right. Entertainment. Oh, I like this story. Entertainment. Oh, I like this story.

I like this story. Country star Tyler Rich found a dead body while he was out on New Year's Eve jogging. Tyler was jogging when he came upon a body of a man. The body was in a heavily wooded area. And at first, Rich thought it was a young homeless man who was asleep. Tyler kept running, but became concerned and circled back to make sure the guy was okay. He explained what happened next. Quote, I realize he isn't breathing, and as I get around to the front of him, all I see is a lifeless face covered in blood.

Everywhere. Look like maybe shot or blunt force. At this moment, I freak out and sprint up the hill to try to find someone with a phone to call police. He then stumbled upon a couple walking on the main path and use their phone to call authorities. After they arrived, Rich gave his statement to law enforcement officials and the FBI. And then when they did look, they did find a gun in the guy's hands, which Rich had placed there before calling 911. Allegedly, there is no way this guy did not commit this crime. It's, you know, do you really go back and check? That was the weird part.

Yeah, yeah. Aren't we all completely, like, just calloused, horrible humans at this point who see a homeless person and just keep moving forward? It depends on what they're wearing. You know, if you see somebody well-dressed, face down, you stop. And if their clothing is not nice, you keep going. So, like, don't go with that Hesh look that the kids are wearing now. Like, my daughter literally dresses like a homeless person. If she got shot and was laying on the street, nobody would stop.

Have you seen JoJo's outfits lately? No, but is she all like thrift store? It's just thrift store stuff. Yeah, that's what everyone's saying, my kids. Yeah. Okay, so this headline is, Country star Tyler Rich found a dead body on his New Year's Eve jog. I removed where it happened.

Where do you think this story happened? Ah, Atlanta. Okay, what are some other guesses? Obviously Nashville. He found him in a heavily wooded area on his jog. North Carolina. Massachusetts. A country singer from Massachusetts?

He was visiting family for the holidays. Wow. Yeah. I definitely did not put this in Massachusetts. Will he write a song about this? Yeah. I definitely did not put this in Massachusetts. Will he write a song about this? Yeah. You know? Can't come up with anything.

I'm trying. I got some James Taylor in my head. I was going to try to do something with that one on the turnpike from Boston to Stockbridge. Yeah. And then, of course, the Bee Gees song, Massachusetts. He'll write the song, but only if his wife leaves him after his father dies of whiskey. Maybe he gets really drunk and writes a song, but falls asleep. And then his family finds the half written song and like the working title

is killed a man on my jog like the drug man the drug man's mind is telling the truth is he's trying to write down these things before he passes out all right guilty um speak speaking of entertainment i watched last night i watched this documentary i would guess it'll win the oscar it's called crip camp i've been told to watch it it is it's pretty long it's like two hours but it's about this camp in upstate new york in the adirondacks or no the catskills and it took a bunch of um what's the what's the proper word for handicapped people now disabled yeah uh disabled kids teenagers and brought them up to this camp and i swear to god for the first 10 minutes you are so uncomfortable watching these. Some are severely handicapped.

Some have. They actually talked about there's a hierarchy among the disabled where people with. Is it differently abled? That was around for a while. Yeah. Anyway, go ahead. But the people with polio are at the top of the chain. But the people with polio are at the top of the chain. And then at the bottom are people with, what do you call it? A sore elbow?

Sore elbow, yeah, tennis elbow. Those are the guys that are really taking advantage of the camp. And they're winning all the medals. You know, at the end of the summer, they have the races. He's a fucking champion at the camp. the races he's a fucking champion at the camp and uh uh what what is the low what are the one we're like if they use forceps on your head and then you become crippled what wait what just happened what's the uh i think stallone by the, I think that happened to Stallone. You know that?

Really? His speech thing, I believe, happened during birth. For the forceps or whatever? Yeah. I could be wrong. I look forward to corrections next week. I think cerebral palsy is the one where you get injured in the womb. I could be wrong.

Really? Yeah. Chris, our producer, Chris, who is taking a break from organizing his rally against the election, just wrote, that is true.

Oh, really? Hold your letters. We have confirmation from St. Louis that what I said was true. We should give him things to Google that will draw attention, like Google red-yellow wires homemade bomb. Chris, and tell us which one hooks up to which terminal. Yeah. Will you look up sexy and the number 11?

All right. Oh, boy. Here we go. He wrote it. Complications suffered by Stallone's mother during labor forced her obstetricians to use two pairs of forceps during his birth. Misuse of these forceps accidentally severed a nerve and caused paralysis in parts of Stallone's face.

Did they also hit the nerve that controls acting? Also, those forceps created the strongest Brooklyn accent in Philadelphia. That's right. No word on what happened to Frank. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they used the vacuum cleaner to get him out. It's like he had an out. Frank didn't have the out.

You know what I mean? Frank is like, you could have far exceeded this guy who literally is putting his face on camera. He's putting the handicapped, not handicapped, whatever it is. All right. I also watched something called The Bureau. People with disabilities. That's it.

Yeah, and you don't want to say disabled person. You say person with disabilities. You're a person with a disability, yes. person you say person with disabilities you're a person with a disability yes it's the same thing with uh people that are they they have uh intellectual disabilities but they're not intellectually disabled people i also watched a show it's a french drama spy drama called the bureau that's fucking great i heard the bureau's's great. It's so good. And there's five seasons. We just watched the first one. And it's a little annoying that there's

subtitles, but believe it or not, I speak French. And so I can follow most of it. But it is so well acted. And yeah, I highly recommend it. But the problem is it's on Sundance Channel.

And so they give you the first season free. And then you got to sign up for fucking eight bucks a month for the Sundance Channel. Huh. Do you do that when you have to sign up for a new channel to get a show? Because I feel like I have like 11 subscriptions. I did show channels I don't watch anymore. Well, when I got rid of cable and I went YouTube TV, which I love. Oh, yeah. Tell me about that. We're thinking about making the change. Is it good?

It's the easiest thing in the world. Really? Yeah. I hated Spectrum. And I was hardly watching any TV. But YouTube TV, I just love. Now, watching any TV, but YouTube TV, I just love. Now, Hulu, I guess, is the nearest competitor, but YouTube TV is amazing. And you watch it wherever, on your phone, wherever you want. And it has everything and all the local channels. It has your local LA channels, CBS, NBC, all that. But where they really get you is because they package your cell phone and your internet and your food delivery service like did it break up your packaging no i didn't have anything i just and i wanted to get rid of my their shitty wi-fi anyway so i switched wi-fi you get that for generally 40

or 50 bucks a month yeah and then you add youtube tv which is $50 a month. Yeah. And then you add YouTube TV, which is generally $50 a month. I think it's $65. Oh, is it now? Okay. Then you got to add in your Hulu, your Netflix, your Amazon Prime. So that's another $50. Yep. But it's still less than you'd pay.

Jesus, the cable is ridiculous. But it's still less than you'd pay. Uh, Jesus, the cable is ridiculous, but it's also so easy. It's obviously the world's biggest TiVo or DVR. Like, you know, it just has anything on demand. Isn't really a thing because it has everything you're like, Oh, I don't know. Watch last week's Saturday night live. Well, there it is. I love it. I'm going to do it this week. What'd you watch? So I watched, first of all, I was flipping through and we've been talking about perfect movies. And of course, someone could ding it as not perfect. But to me, it kind of is bad news bears. Perfect movie. I just couldn't stop watching it. Yeah. And don't think because it's a movie about kids playing baseball that you watch it with your kids uh no so we've talked about this uh on your uh you know years ago on

your podcast but never sunday papers but so my kids found out when they were young that bad news bears was one of my favorite movies and they wanted to watch it and i said there's absolutely no way because i knew about the especially the rough language And I said, there's absolutely no way because I knew about the, especially the rough language. So I'm like, there's just no way. And they're like, please, please, please. And so anyway, to shorten the story, they begged me like forever and all this. Finally, we struck an arrangement. They'll be pleased. Like, just let us watch the trailer. We want to see what you like so much about the movie. And I'm like, fine. If I let you watch the trailer, then, then you'll drop this. And we're not watching the movie after you see the trailer.

And they're like, they agreed, play the trailer in the, which is still on YouTube in the bad news bears trailer, which played in every theater across the country, obviously, um, in the bad news bears, uh, trailer is this line line uh walter mathau brings up tatum o'neill and introduces her to the team and he goes i think her name was amanda and he goes um uh amanda uh i want you to meet the boys boys this is our new pitcher amanda and tanner goes And Tanner goes, great. Juice spicked and now a girl. Jesus. Really? So I'm playing the trailer.

Tanner delivers that line. My girl's jaws drop. So does mine. After like a 10, like probably a five second pause, realistically, I'm like, so you guys want to watch a movie? Wow. And then they watched the movie. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. And I, and I think they, I think they say, he says faggot at one point in the movie. It's yeah. It's the N word makes two, the N word makes two appearances. Oh, now you say N word. You say, you say the word before. Oh, well, because it's not in quotes. Yeah.

And, yeah. Don't accuse me of fagging out on this. I just want to be technically correct. No, but also, like, there was some other line. I forget the fat kid's name, the catcher. It had a great name. It starts with an Al Luger. Yeah.

No, though, Lupus is one of the weak kids also. Yeah. But anyway, it's a great name for his character, and I'm just forgetting what it is. Walter Matthau, though, like that and The Odd Couple are the two performances of his life. Yeah, and so they try to quit at one point. Oh, it's so good.

They try to quit at one point. Meanwhile's so so good they try to quit at one point meanwhile he's drinking and driving right out of the gate yeah right right cans of beer in the car i think like even with the kid in the car but uh he throws the equipment at the fat kid's head and he goes he goes shut she's like i say what goes on and get your fat ass out on that field it's so crazy yeah yeah and of course none of it intentional it's not like bad santa or whatever the hell that is like it's not like oh this is a an un-pc person this was not heightened like that this that's what happened you could you would call a fat kid fat even if you were an adult he was an inappropriate coach but like that's kind of it he also was oh man such a heartbreaking

scene between you know tatum o'neill and him and he throws beer in her face yeah yeah right but all grounded that's my point yeah it was very. Um, you got in something here about, uh, Oh, okay. So then I watched this quick one. Have you ever seen the movie that's entertainment? No. Okay. So I think it was like 74 or something like that. And it was really interesting. So I'm flipping around and I see it and I'm flipping around and I see Gene Kelly going berserk in some dance in some dance number. And it's like that guy is the craziest athlete. I'm just like, oh, my God. And I'm like, what's this?

I'll stick around and watch this. And then the next scene was like Cagney doing it. And then the next scene was like it was just it was unbelievable. So it's called That's Entertainment. So in 74, MGM Grand was going down. They had just been bought by Kerkorian, I think, and this millionaire, and they were being liquidated and it was the end and the back lot. So they decided to do their last movie shot on the back lot and it was Sinatra and they

would interview them. And basically it was like a best of MGM. And they felt that with the Vietnam war and then the recession, there was made, there was a little bet on nostalgia. And then maybe people would want to see these incredibly escapist musicals. Right. And they were right. It was such a huge hit that then they came out with that center, two more parts. And one was called like, let's dance. So there was three parts, but I can't recommend this enough. And it's exactly what happened to me. I'm like, look, and especially working in the business, I was like, oh my God, like I've worked on,

you know, on stages like that. And it's almost like I didn't know you could do that. It was just it's like high art. Yeah. Incredible dance. Yeah. Incredible sets like artists, artists, artists. Yeah. And the nostalgia thing is working for the same reasons, which I found so interesting. Well, it's kind of like, you know, look at Moonlight. What a big hit that was. People, maybe people want some more of that now. Moonlight. You mean La La Land? La La Land, I mean. Yeah. The one that beat Moonlight for a second? That's what I was thinking. And so anyway, I'll just read this. That's entertainment. It opens, the opening titles, type comes up on screen.

It goes, over the years, under the leadership of Louis B. Mayer and others. Metro Goldwyn Mayer has produced a series of musical films whose success and artistic merit remain unsurpassed in motion picture history. There were literally thousands of people, artists, craftsmen and technicians who poured their talents into the creation of the great MGM musicals. This film is dedicated to them. Wow. I love it. By the way, it is worth it. The one scene that came very close after the Gene Kelly I saw was, oh man, it's such a disservice that I'm forgetting his name, but he played the scarecrow in, which is MGM. He played the Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz. And they showed a cut scene from the Wizard of Oz and his dance number.

Folger maybe is his name. And it's amazing. And you're like, what an embarrassment of riches that movie is if they could cut that scene. Ray Bolger. Ray Bolger? Yes. thank you for the assist you just type that in now my producer did i was looking it up at the same time yeah ray bulger is apparently and the funny thing is that's why he was cast in that role they knew they were working backwards from um you know we need an actor who can dance

the shit out of this thing yeah right and then that's then that's cut and we grow up thinking he's just a goofy scarecrow yeah i mean think about it how many leading actors in hollywood now can really dance like what was the one uh what was jesus what was the one, what was, oh, Jesus. What was the one set in Philly with Robert De Niro as the dad, where they're dancing with... Deer Hunter was in Pittsburgh. I don't think that's what you're talking about. No. I mean, John Travolta, that motherfucker can dance.

Oh, Silver Linings Playbook? Silver Linings Playbook, yeah. They were terrible terrible dancers i don't even oh that yeah no no listen i've said enough go find that's entertainment and sit back and just be amazed look at me there's like and you'll find yourself doing the least i do this but maybe you will too like okay no edits, no edits. There's no edits. They have not cut off this camera. That's just, hey, hey, I have an idea. Which never happens now, by the way, in Hollywood.

I have an idea. Aim the cameras at that crazy fucking talent and just roll. Just big wide shots. Light the fuck out of it. He's going to hit every mark. He's going to hit marks on spins. Oh, and there's a Salvador Dali-esque dream sequence with a ballet dancer in it with Gene Kelly. Just roll.

Yeah, right. With the fan, the timing. It's amazing. Yeah. Well, this is your third screenplay today, Mike. Write another one. Okay, so she gets up out of the wheelchair. See how respectful I'm saying she to the trans woman in the Holocaust camp and starts dancing at the end.

I have my end. But she trips on her dick. And so that's the ending. That's by the way, as far as endings in concentration camp go, that's one of the better ones. I know that's what you just said. I didn't say that. All right, let's get to some sports. Oh, Tampa Bay, you are fucking making me some money this year.

Oh, jeez. 47-7 against the Lions last week. I picked up another 50. You are down $100 for the season. Okay. And we're going into the final game of the season against Atlanta. I'm giving Atlanta six and a half points. We'll see.

You are. It changes. The line moves. They better catch on. I can't believe the spread didn't cover a 47-7 loss. I know. Jesus. The thing is, Tom Brady gets hot and cold. The week before that, he threw

three interceptions and fucking got sacked a million times. Then he was so good in this game, they actually pulled him in the third quarter because they didn't need him anymore. Yeah. Reduce his risk to the virus because all the sacks, who knows who has it. I don't even know how they're doing it.

By the way, my pool that I'm in, that I've been in since the beginning of the season, we started out with about 200 people. It is now down to five. I am one of those five. it is now down to five i am one of those five so uh tennessee you have to pick since it's the last game of the season there's five of us they're making us pick two teams each for the last game of the season which is tough because once you pick a team you can't pick them again you pick one team a week and uh i've down i got tennessee which is a seven point favorite. And I have Washington, which is a three and a half point favorite. So if I get those two right, I could win the $4,000.

We'll see. Great story. I hope you do it. It's the biggest thing in my life right now. It is literally the thing I think about more than anything else. Can I please go back to talking about dancing with incredible intensity? If anyone has made it through the podcast this far, first of all, our predictions, which was so uninteresting. Oh,

and I can't even remember. Did I mention I have this head cold? Oh, my God. But then you have to ask yourself, how did I get ahead? How did I catch a cold? Right. I haven't been around anybody. I know. All right. Let's get to let's should we get to the comics? I think we should. So what are we skipping here? Science. Don't worry, kids. There's no science. There's no Dear Amy. And you know what?

It turns out this day in history, that is actually interesting, that nothing ever happened. So let's go on. Nothing ever happened on this day. It was just an off day. Everyone broke their resolutions. That's all that's ever happened, which you actually have a story about. But what it says is in the science section. And that if you want to increase the likelihood of successful resolution, there's a thing called temptation bundling.

One of the things is make a donation to a charity you hate every time you slip up. And there's an online tool called Stick K that enables you to put real money on the line. In other words, like for Chris Denman, our producer, every time he ate bread, which he's trying to get off of, he would have to donate money to Doctors Without Borders or the NAACP. Or Cancer Kids. Or Cancer Kids. Yeah. Or, you know, QAnon.

No, no, no. He wants to give money to QAnon. No, no, no. He wants to give money to QAnon. Yeah. So what would be your charity, Mike? Do you have a resolution, first of all? I don't think I do yet. When were they due? When were they due?

They were due a couple of days ago? I'm off of bread and sugar are you serious i went off of it back in um september and i lasted about six weeks with no bread and sugar trying it again i'm going to try to last three months huh yeah all right i'll come up with some that's my resolution all right if you if you a resolution, what is the charity that you basically what would be the charity that you least want to give money to that would be your penalty? Just very simple politics, obviously giving money to a candidate who I really disagree. There's no shortage of them, you know. Yeah. Pick pick a candidate who's maybe has a reelection in the middle midterm elections. Right. Right. And I would hate to give money to that person? Yeah. Probably that.

I think, you know, the NRA. I'm not totally anti-gun, but I'm anti all the extreme gun stuff for sure, which is the NRA's agenda. Right. So maybe that? Yeah, I think QAnon. There's got to be a group for QAnon right now. Yeah. I think that, do you realize what percentage of the country, there was just an NPR poll that was really frightening.

And it said that like 30% of the population does not dismiss the QAnon conspiracy theories. They didn't say that they necessarily all signed on to it, but that they don't dismiss them. Huh. Yeah. Well, you have the president not dismissing a lot of them, you know, as kind of the lead. Yeah. So. All right, let's get to one letter, one quick letter. Carl Youngblood said, honestly, a little disappointed. Mike didn't recommend his co-worker Ben Hoffman's Wheeler Walker Jr. for country music.

Remember I said I don't like any country music. Wait, I didn't say that. You did. I did. I said I don't like. Yeah. And I was telling you about the Stones and stuff. No, absolutely. Are you kidding me? I was there when he he wrote them. He wrote he even wrote some for the Ben show. Well, used used in the Ben show, too. So, yeah, no, Wheeler Walker Jr. I mean, by the way, the producer of that album,

oh, is it Chris Cobb? I'm forgetting. But anyway, won the Grammy for- Dave Cobb. Dave Cobb won the Grammy for Al album of the year that year that he produced Wheeler Walker's. And, you know, what Ben Hoffman did is he went down there. No one would back. He tried to get backing in Hollywood, like, you know, agents, all that managers, nothing, put up his own money, rented a studio, somehow got Cobb, who's like crazy

celebrated and kind of the producer of the new smart country I guess in a way whatever it's called and uh and there's a name for it and uh and then he goes hey listen I can get you the best studio session you know musicians but you know a lot of them are family men they may not want their name on the album oh my god that's right but when it first came out apparently like his his steel or slide guitar guy is kind of known as the best and you know when people were trying to guess who willard walker jr was they were like wait a minute but that's like i'm making up the name like that's carl on the slot like like people knew that sound yeah yeah like so it was a lot of intrigue like who is this guy that could get you know that musician yeah now the music look there's a lot of uh the country music that

i respect i think it's good i just don't i don't there's a woman that somebody recommended named sarah jeroz who's incredible i started listening But that's more like roots music. It's almost like bluegrass. It's not pure country. Pure country, I just don't relate. I don't get it. It doesn't move me. But there's so many different kinds, though. Yeah, and please, nobody fucking email me

to listen to Jason Isbell. I don't like it. I've tried again and again because so many people say itbell. I don't like it. I've tried again and again because so many people say it's good. Don't get it. Okay. Fine. Alright. Let's get to the funnies. Wait. Before I let it go,

you've listened to Lucinda Williams? Oh, no. I love Lucinda Williams. Okay. Thank you. All right. Okay. Love Lucinda Williams.

That's an exception. Let's get to Andy Capp. Andy and his wife, Flo, are walking out of the pub. She says, well, let's hope next year is better than the last. Next frame, they're walking home. She says, I expect we still won't be rich, but we've got the most important thing. And now you're expecting in the last frame for him to turn around and go, shut the fuck up and punch her in the face.

And instead, she says, each other. And it's a shot of them from behind walking down the street what the fuck is that that's like that's like me turning on my internet queuing up some porn she what he walks in the door he says hey stepmom she's got on a negligee. And then all of a sudden they cook some pasta. What the fuck is that? That's not how this ends. Yeah. Goldsmith and Garnett, you're getting soft. Hold on now.

Is that's but I guess she answered her own question. Is that is that the joke? It's all her the whole time. There's no joke. It's no joke. It's just a sweet end-of-the-year strip. I don't know. I think it's kind of funny.

She teed him up for we got the most important thing, and he just hasn't said anything. Yeah. I don't know. I kind of like it. All right. Now a real cartoon couple that gives you the kind of lines you're looking for. Leroy from the Lockhorns standing at the fridge.

Loretta is at the stove, as most women in cartoons are, and she is stirring a pot. She looks very upset. He's looking at some leftovers, and he he goes can bad food go bad i like it the next one he's sitting in a chair she's sitting across from him and he goes i am listening loretta but not to all the words yeah they have two chairs facing each other in a very focused conversation and finally another lockhorns i've given you three each week they're sitting at the dinner table and he looks at her and he goes you just relax loretta i'll pile up the dishes in the sink

sink that's what my kids say to me that is such a fucking husband move to act like you did something by scraping the plates and stacking them yeah yeah all right here's family circus no need to spend time on this really the little kid is by the tree his name is billy the is by the tree. His name is Billy. The kid's by the tree, which is still up. The toys are all over the ground. He's holding a candy cane. He's looking out the window, which conveniently has a window in it. And out the window in the door, you see the mail person. Looks like a woman. This has been updated.

So it looks like the mail person is delivering. And the little snotty kid goes, here comes some mail from a year ago. There you go. So the joke is it's a new year. Yeah, and the kid put that together. Yeah. Billy's getting old.

I guess his name, yeah, I guess that's it. But it does remind me, remember Letterman every year? The first show back in the new year would say, or no, sorry. It was every time it was the Chinese New Year. And he would say, well, this year it's the year of the monkey. And happy new year to everyone in China. He's like, you know, I'm still signing my checks year of the dog. Oh, that's right.

He did that every year. Every year. So this guy who wrote this, who knows, but like real jokes like that were in the ether. Real jokes like that were out there. And then like you're going to send in this piece of shit speaking of pieces of shit here's blondie they're laying in bed and they are blondie and dagwood are back to back in bed that's how he sleeps with this fucking goddess and his alarm clock goes off beep Beep, beep, beep. There's Z's in the air because he's sleeping.

Light comes on. They sit up. They've got on party hats suddenly. And he's got on fucking pajamas with donuts on them. This is a grown man. Dagwood's got to be 50, 45. He's got donuts on. And they turn and they kiss each other.

A couple hearts pop up in the air. They say, Happy New Year. And they then turn the lights off, back to back again asleep. Meanwhile, did I mention she's wearing a violet top off the shoulder? Yep. Boobs are surging. Hair is a little bit must in that sexy kind of way from sleeping on the pillow and dagwood fails to throw a move and she's grabbing his hand she's grabbing his hand yeah

yeah she's guiding him she's presenting as they would say on a nature show i think she's tugging on his hand and he's pulling it back yeah yeah right, yeah, right. I believe Dagwood's a homosexual. I don't think I've explored that possibility yet. But for you to lay in a bed next to that woman and not throw a fucking move after a kiss on New Year's, and not judging homosexuality, just pointing out that he may be a member of that camp. Maybe that's the symbolism of the donuts.

That's an asshole? Yeah, he's the receiver, I guess. I don't know. He's a donut? I think he went right through it. He went right to it. Yeah, that was the symbolism. He cut through it. Jesus. Very lasered. Yeah, that was the symbolism. You cut through it.

Jesus. Very lasered. All right, listen, Mike, you're on vacation, so we're keeping this a little short today. Hour and a half. Hour and a half used to be standard. I wouldn't call it a vacation. I got out of town for a few days, which I feel mixed about.

Oh, will you stop? I'm about to travel. Just seeing enough people to catch a head cold, that's all. Yeah. Well, enjoy the rest of your trip. We'll see you when you get back. When would you leave for Indiana? Thursday.

Man, okay. All right, I'll believe that when I see it. I guess it's going to happen. I think it's going to happen. I think it's going to happen. The next podcast we do will be me in a hotel room in. And where am I going? Indianapolis. Yeah. And by the way, not to not to belabor this country music point, but maybe you check out our buddy Tyler Rich, who killed a man in Massachusetts. That could be some real country. Yeah, that's the first line of the song.

Yeah. Yeah. Sounds very Johnny Cash-ish. That's my delayed callback to an earlier news story. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Mike. Happy New Year, everybody.

Happy New Year, everybody. Thanks for sticking with us. We got a big year ahead. Maybe we're going to do a couple. Be safe, everyone. As soon as things get safe, we we're gonna do a couple live podcasts perhaps one from sacramento and uh and we're also going to maybe bring another guest on the show we've also got to do the voting on the songs and the logos although we're not sure we're doing that 100 but the website should have those in the next week did you get the songs i sent you yes okay no i didn't no you didn't send them all right thanks to uh midcoast media our producers and editors that do a fine job every week uh over there and

we want to wish them a happy new year and mike we'll see you next week. Take it easy. Happy New Year, my man. Sunday Papers. Sunday Papers. Sunday Papers. Sunday Papers. Sunday Papers. Sunday Papers. Sunday neighbors, Sunday neighbors Sunday neighbors, Sunday neighbors Sunday neighbors, Sunday neighbors Sunday papers

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