Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg & Mike Ep:3 3/21/20

Episode Date: April 17, 2020

All the news that Fitz to print! Plus we reveal a cure for Corona!

You can read it in the Sunday Papers. Read it in the Sunday Papers. Welcome to Sunday Papers. This is the edition that comes out on the 22nd of March. Is March 21st something? I think it's the first day of spring. That's what I think. Today.

Yeah. So everyone's feeling it. You can tell everyone's happy. They actually are. It's the vernal equinox i believe is spring um i when you think pandemic you think the streets are empty not on the west side of la it's like frisbee dog walking jogging biking it's like a fucking geritol commercial out there. Traffic is overstating it, but I hit traffic on the way over here. Yeah. And I told you,

Main Street, crowded in Santa Monica, and then Rose, which is a kind of popular, it used to be dumpy, and now it's a bit trendy a little. That was packed on the way over here.

Tons of bicyclists, tons of people on the sidewalk. We're not getting it. We're not getting it. We're not getting it. That's okay to be outside as long as you're not close to six feet. No, they're groups. Yeah, there's groupings. There's a lot of groupings. I played golf yesterday.

Yeah, I wouldn't brag about it. You were with me. And I'm not bragging about it. Why did you fucking say that? I forgot you were with me when I said it. No, it's the worst part about it. I don't why did you fucking say that and i don't know it's the worst part about it i don't i don't like golf yeah you were miserable out there no no i had fun because you guys were really fun but why am i out there yeah i understand they say golf's the best sport

to play because you're the only one that touches your ball yeah unlike tennis or whatever the sex of course basketball and volleyball right and um but And I guess, did you hear the policy that we weren't supposed to touch the flags? Yeah, you don't touch the flag. I didn't know that. Yeah. Usually in golf, you take the flag out when the guy's putting. In this case, you just leave it in. And there were no rakes?

No rakes, no ball washers. They took all the ball washers off the course, all the trash cans off the course and no high fiving. Even though you get, even though you're wearing a glove. All right, let's get to it. I hope, I hope our listeners are staying safe.

I hope you are taking this seriously. It is serious. Do you want to go with the lead? You want to tell them that Italy thing? Well, let me just say this. I had this. I was talking to my friend Tom.

We're sitting here. He's a twisted motherfucker. If I may. We're sitting here at 3.30 p.m. West Coast time, Saturday. By the time you're listening to this, who the hell knows what's going on? Things change so fast. Well, it's called geometric or exponential growth. It happens faster and faster.

Talking to my friend Tom, twisted dude. And I said, what if you got the coronavirus and you knew it was fatal. You knew you were going to die. Yeah. You don't want to infect anybody. So you stay away from everybody. But you want to get laid one more time. So you fuck your dog.

And then all of a sudden, you're cured. Now it's on you to tell the CDC that fucking dogs cures the disease. You have to. How would you not tell them? Someone tell Korea. They'll stop eating them. And then all of a sudden,

people would be, the dog pounds would be empty. It would be like the storm on toilet paper. You'd be walking your dog. People would be fucking tackling you, taking your dog. Oh, you'd be fucking on Craigslist looking for your neighbor's dog. The dog walkers. You'd be selling it on eBay. This one's a virgin Cocker Spaniel.

Would you even care about sloppy seconds with a dog i think you'd want it well you know he's a cure well you know that's what i told you so norm mcdonald who's like you know one of the smartest people i ever worked with and funniest for sure he he would always latch on if he found someone had a sensitive, you know, like he would go to that area where someone felt strongly about someone because he'd love to find if there was a flaw in their logic. Right. As a fast example, there was a guy, I won't name him, but a guy who was then became head of ABC and he was he was at Burlstein Gray for a while. But anyway, he and his wife never flew together, kind of like the royal family plan, because if the plane went down, they would lose, the kids would lose both parents. And he goes, please tell me those idiots never drive together. Yeah.

Because that is like- 10 times the odds. Immeasurable how much the odds are like that, right? So he just loves that. So this was, someone was animal rights and somehow bestiality came up and he was sensing what the person was saying he's like hey hold on uh you know uh all the bestiality laws uh are to protect the human right he's like we don't give a shit about the animal and the person started to get enraged and And he's like, no, no. Like, wait, you don't know that?

He's like, no, no. If there was no risk to humans, we'd be fucking them all day long. The animals like it. He's like, well, an animal's not going to like getting fucked or fucking. Right. They present. My dog, if I rub my dog's ass, she backs it up and raises her tail. She's fucking begging for it.

And I used to, I used to do a joke about that. Like, you know how, how they're always trying to, my dog is whenever I pet him, he tries to put his penis in my hand. And like,

if I, and I, and so you jerk them off and you realize like, well, who's the victim of this crime? Oh yeah. Right. I'm just being a good guy.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. I'm just being a good, he right yeah i'm just being a good he's looking at me we're watching i mean if he had if he had an opposable thumb he's good oh my you've seen the dogs who are humping and then they're pulled off and then you see like you literally see an evolutionary moment where there was some chihuahua was famous i think we put it on tosh and it's like he he figured out he takes his two arms and now he's right. And all of a sudden he's going crazy, jerking himself off. And you're like, that is a breakthrough. Tomorrow's going to be like, what did I do? Wait, wait, wait,

how did it go? How did it go? That's the best thing about chimpanzee cages at the zoo is young kids see early what their future is. Yeah. Oh, so then you throw it. Got it. Your, your mother's in your room the next day. i got to clear those cobwebs out of the corner spider manning it all over your house uh yeah so that's very funny hypothetical if you could fuck a dog yeah and then you do have a right yeah and you have an obligation you're right yeah tell everybody yeah they have an obligation, you're right, to tell everybody. They have to know. And you become a hero. Ish.

Maybe. Maybe. And then they're like, oh, that was a false negative. We're so sorry. Turns out your dog's anus is not the magic vortex that everyone has to fall into. It was that vitamin C we gave you. All right. Headlines.

Where are they? There's the paper. Extra! Extra! We all have bought it! Extra! Okay, front page. Mike, what do you got? Well, there's something trending today. It's called almost 800.

And it's because Italy's death count today was almost 800. It was 627 yesterday, 800 today. Per day. That's 824 hour period. Right. And so their total deaths are up by 5,000 54,000 cases most people are saying italy uh is the one we should be looking at in terms of this model and then france had a spike also uh in their in their deaths and so that's you know all these

italians are trying to warn us like We did not take this that seriously. They were kind of like us. That our president saying 10 people is fine is so ridiculous at this point. Yeah. So that's kind of sad to see that this almost 800 people. Well, and they've surpassed China. They officially have a higher death count than China. And China is a much bigger country.

Yeah. We're all wondering. We're all. Me and the scientists. Us. China's a much bigger country. Yeah, we're all wondering, we're all, me and the scientists, us, we're wondering why China, because as soon as you, the word they use is as soon as you relax the isolation or distancing or any policies in effect to slow it down by not letting people gather,

as soon as that's relaxed, the second wave starts. But that's built in. All the scientists know that. All the models show that. So Korea now is showing some second wave. China, though, they're keeping it tough, I think, but they have relaxed a little from what I've heard, so I don't know why we're not seeing it there.

Well, China may not be telling us the truth. Also, you got to always remember that with a communist country is they're controlling, you know, they're kicking out our journalists. Right. What's that all about? Why? Because we were printing the truth. I don't know exactly why.

I just saw that in all the headlines I go past. I didn't read that article. I do know this. The New York Times wrote about they talked to two scientists about best case and worst case scenarios. So this one guy who's considered the grandfather, I even, he's the best disease modeler. What a title. He's the best disease modeler in the world. This isn't, this is not fun to read. His worst case scenario for the United States is 2.2 million dead. His best case scenario for the United States is 1.1 million dead. The day after he wrote that, he got the disease in England. And he's on Twitter and he's doing what he can. I don't have the disease, but it just followed me on Twitter. Is that bad? It's spreading viral. It's going viral. So anyway, and then there's another scientist and his best case scenario was way better.

was way better um but that would be if we got aggressive now yeah trump keeps being asked do you want the country on lockdown no the governor of california is doing i think he's doing a good job governor new york's doing it he's doing a good job you know whatever now lockdown means supermarket pharmacy doctor period and now italy Italy has brought in the armed forces to enforce, to question people, where are you going and stuff. It's got to be a good feeling when you're in the armed forces. Oh, no. The front line on this, forget hospitals and all that, is going to be terrible.

Pharmacists. Yeah, I know. Also, the food chain. We've got to keep the people that are producing food for us. They've got to keep working. I can't read. No, I know. That's a real one.

And everyone's, you know, all the restaurants. But then they can fuck all the animals. What is this? I can't read my own handwriting. Same day, UK, five cases uh no five well the uk has been the most lax of everybody in europe yeah they were way behind meanwhile that was the one country trump was allowing uh to fly into our country oh i see no sorry the u.s oh i read this. The United States and South Korea reported the first COVID-19 cases on the same day. And we took very different approaches and South Korea's cases down 90 percent. Wow. So, again, it's all this Americans not taking it seriously.

You heard it from Mike. There's other factors, but that's the number one factor. And it's indisputable. Trump got very upset. And NBC. Here's another story. I love this. And an NBC reporter. And keep in mind, NBC had just lost.

Do you have a queued up? No, I have a queued up. Play it. NBC had just lost a I don't know if this guy was a researcher or he did something for NBC News and he died. And the day the next day, Peter Alexander, who's an NBC News reporter, threw a fucking lob. I don't have to explain it, but it was a question that was helping Trump have an FDR moment, have a moment where he could say the only thing to fear is fear itself. He was like a straight man yeah teeing him up here you go all right here is what you are being criticized one of them you know one of your biggest criticisms right now by the way do you hear trump just bragging about his early response

yeah and that other people followed him and that he was setting an example and he went against the grain yeah his early response. It's just like, it's what a door will call it. Play the clip. All right, here's the clip. Now I'm going to let it play after. I've never heard this guy on CNN this angry. So I'm playing you now the press conference.

It's going to pop back to this. You'll hear it's very obvious. Back to the CNN studio who just played this clip and you'll hear him talk about it. And it is not queued up. Here we go. What do you say to Americans who are scared, though? I guess nearly 200 dead, 14,000 who are sick, millions, as you witnessed, who are scared right now. What do you say to

Americans who are watching you right now who are scared? I say that you're a terrible reporter. That's what I say. I think it's a very nasty question and I think it's a very bad signal that you're putting out to the American people. The American people are looking for answers and they're looking for hope and you're doing sensationalism and the same with NBC and Comcast. I don't call it Comcast. I call it Comcast. Let me just ask for whom you work. Let me just say something. That's really bad reporting. And you want to get back to reporting instead of sensationalism. Let's see if it works. It might and it might not. I happen to feel good about it, but who knows? I've been right a lot. He's been right a lot. Let's see what happens.

Okay, now here's CNN talking about... ...room for just shy of 10 years. It was a perfectly. Let's see what happens. Okay, now here's CNN talking about......for just shy of 10 years. It was a perfectly valid question. And what the president did to Peter Alexander is reprehensible. The American people are looking for answers. They do want hope. They do want support, Mr. President. That was a very fair question.

Our Caitlin Collins is in the briefing room right now. She was there for that contentious briefing. Caitlin, this is a Trump trademark. This is a Trump trademark. It was striking that this came, this, forgive me, bullshit attack on fake news. Oh! There you have it. Whoa!

I was like, oh, man. You're not allowed to do that, are you? That's crazy. Yeah, so people have stepped up. People are very feeling good about Cuomo in New York who has locked New York down. I think it was the first city to get locked down. And, you know, he's, I think he's doing a great job.

Yeah, no, it is good. All right, what else do we got? We could go to later fare. We've got, let me see. Hold on. Hold on. Hooray for Hollywood. Kenny Rogers does not have the coronavirus.

And by the way, his chicken is fine. You can eat the chicken. He folded them, turns out. Did that chicken place close down? I don't know. He had a chain. Remember that? The Kenny Rogers chicken?

I do. You're right. I wonder. Maybe it was like his George Foreman grill type. Well, but that's the thing is every celebrity has too much money. And so their accountants tell them that they need to set up a car wash or something to launder the fucking money. And then once in a while, one of them actually works. The George Foreman grill or the Kenny Rogers chicken. And you're like, what the fuck?

Kenny Rogers. How many songs did he have? Obviously, you got to know. Yeah. What else did he have? He had a couple of ballads, like slow ones, you know, and then Dolly Parton gave a moving little tribute to him online today. And they did a duet together.

I'd say he's one of those sneaky guys where I'm wondering if... Like a Lionel Richie kind of guy where you suddenly go, wow, he's got fucking 10 songs? That I know the word, that I could kind of hum along to. I know them. I'm wondering

what the over-under is on Kenny Rogers songs that you have a recognition of. All right. I'm going to put it at eight. I'm going to put it on eight. Spotify gives you the songs in order of download. So obviously, number one.

Don't even recognize it. No, this is The Gambler. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay. I didn't know the beginning. Oh, here's one you definitely know. This is the duet with Dolly Parton. Oh, please, it's gigantic, yeah. Islands in the Stream.

It's every karaoke bar. Okay, now this one you definitely know. Wrong. This is a beautiful fucking song. What's it called? We've Got Tonight. Holy shit, yeah. I mean, are you kidding me? I can remember this shit. This's it called? We've Got Tonight. Holy shit. Yeah. I mean, are you kidding me?

I can remember this shit. This must have been in the late 70s. I remember on the school bus. AM radio, WPLJ. AM radio. That's how I started listening to Howard Stern. AM. WNBC.

That was FM, actually, yeah. No, AM. Oh, NBC was AM, yeah. Okay, here's another one. You Know This, Motherfucker 2. Through the years. Oh, okay. So what are we at? Four? Cut to this.

Oh, what a beautiful fucking song. Eh. No, no. It's got a nice build. It's got a nice build. There it is. You felt it. You felt it, didn't you? It's like

If Hallmark had a sound Hallmark greeting cards This is what it would sound like This is song number five I think there may be a drop off here I think this is a country song Is this No One to Fold Him? No this is Coward of the Country

Oh yeah I know this totally Do you? Yeah So what are we at six? Yeah of course I know this. Oh, you know this one. Uh oh. Sounds like we've got tonight.

Oh yeah. I'm cutting ahead. I do recognize this. God, this is a gorgeous fucking song. Yeah, he's Mr. Ballad. I'm telling you. It's weird he's known his country. Oh, here's one a gorgeous fucking song. Yeah, he's Mr. Ballad, I'm telling you. It's weird he's known his country. Oh, here's one you will fucking love.

I'm going to cut ahead. Not yet. Yeah. You decorated my life yeah alright here's the one you know this one come on we're over eight

you know this one grandma died what it's actually exactly oh wait I know this you know this What? It's actually exactly. Oh, wait. I know this. You know this.

This, I'm surprised, is the number one. Yeah. What is it? I totally know it. It's sad. Oh, Leave Me, Lucio? Yep. You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucio. This should have been way up.

Yeah. Four hungry children. We're approaching nine or way up. Yeah. Four hungry children. We're approaching nine or ten now. Yeah. Oh, here's one. I don't know why this isn't number one. Isn't it? Oh, yes.

Fuck yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? I literally have this in my head as a Lionel Richie song. So do I. Oh, maybe it's a cover. Oh, I think it's a cover. All right. All right.

All right. Maybe we just listen to eight covers. He's a cover guy. Like the. All right. So now we're into country. This is where he's a country guy. the uh all right so now we're into country this is this is where he's a country guy all right that's enough so there we go yeah kenny rogers you think more than you think yeah and i want to go back and listen to those if you god damn it you never you ever feel like you gotta you're tight and your throat hurts and you need to cry because you've just held on

to too much tension and you say well i'm gonna i'm gonna watch fucking color purple or i won't do it or uh or or listen to a uh i was gonna bobby collins album um you know ahead of time all those songs will make me cry to me it's normally like a sneak attack the other day olivia had uh friends over and they watched perks of being a wallflower oh dude dude and i was like it's one of those where oh i saw a funny meme where someone goes when you're rewinding the song because the part that slays you didn't slow you hard enough not heroes um yeah but that was an interesting like people do that yeah that was a really right right right but that was an interesting thing where it's like you're playing a song because you know that you know it gets you sad and if it didn't work the first time you're away they didn't give it another shot yeah but yeah of course but also no i cried so well done so hard that it went on for 10 minutes after the movie ended i kept fucking

crying to the point where i went was i molested by an older woman as a child i really did i was like i must be suppressing a memory because i can't stop fucking crying no you're so on the kid's side and he's any you know what it is you didn't believe in yourself a lot in life and this kid that ending speech is a because i'm gonna spoil i've decided people i've no i haven't really no details I've decided, no, no details. I've decided to believe in myself. And it's so cool. Right. And it took other friends to show him,

you know, to keep telling him how great he was and all that stuff and doctors and all that. It was very, you know, it's the new Holden Caulfield. It's also in that same vein

as a movie called Ghost World. Have you seen that? Oh, no, I haven't seen it. I know all about it. It's that also. Oh, wow. The kids that are on the sidelines kind of finding their own way.

Beautiful. What's-her-name is in it, too. God, I'm spacing everything today. But anyway. Are we staying in entertainment? Let's stay in entertainment. What else you got? god all right first of all all right so this wonder woman yeah good dog gail good dot whatever the fuck her name is decided it was a good idea she and some of her celebrity friends you know about this and imagine oh i saw that and it went super

vile oh my god it's cringeworthy it's so cringeworthy. It's so cringeworthy, but the best is, so I went on YouTube and I got the comments. I try to find the very honest comments on, um, on Instagram where she posted it, but there's like 30,000 comments and they're all front loaded with positive people like that brought me together. It gave to make me cry um here's what so here's comments on the youtube page where is gail gado singing a peace song when she publicly supported the invasion of gaza in 2014 peace for everyone except palestinians apparently i love the hypocrisy but by the way that's hilarious feral sar Silverman, a bunch of people sing it. It jumps from celebrity to celebrity singing.

Paul Rudd. Yep. These people really think they're important. My body heated up after watching this. I felt so embarrassed for them. I actually felt like I was sweating from nervousness. Imagine no possessions. I wonder if you can net worth of $800 million things.

I wonder if they realize how they sound to normal people. Well, Larry, the cable guy chimed in. You want to hear his tweet? No. He said, uh, here's a message from people with a lot of possessions that can take a year off from work and not flinch telling everyone out of work to imagine a world with no possessions while people are living in the street a half a mile from them. Exactly. Yeah.

I can't believe you just agree with Larry, the cable guy. Well, some, will someone please remind these people that they play pretend for a living? Imagine there's no intelligence in Hollywood. It's easy. If you watch easy to be calm when you know all your bills will be paid and

you don't have to worry about feeding your kids and losing your job. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you want to do a TV reviews? We can do it. Wait, let me see.

There's a couple of other, I'm trying to see, I'm just going blasting through to see if there's anyone, uh, else here. Yeah. That they're not doing anything. They're singing in their mansions.

Um, who's the girl that launched it? Cause she seems to be at the beginning and the end of it. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's Wonder Woman. Oh, that's Wonder Woman. Oh, she's very pretty.

Um, well yeah, that's her thing. Uh, and some people are just to the point. Imagine no possessions. I don't have to imagine it. I love when it's so dark, just plainly stating the truth. When you can plainly state the truth and it's dark, you got me. And I'll tell you what we've been leaving out is the Sunday comics,

which we're going to end with, as the people love at the end. There's comments on the page from people about the cartoons that we've been reading. Oh, really? Yes. Wait, comments? What do you mean?

Like people that read Nancy and Beetle Bailey. There's like discussion boards about the comic strip that day. Oh, you're going to love it. Oh my God, I can't wait. All right, so other entertainment. Let's see, Andy Cohen, you know, the useless guy on Bravo. What is with his eyes? Yeah, one eye's off.

I don't want to make fun of that in case, whatever. But it's the brain behind it that sucks. But he tested positive. For? The coronavirus. but he uh tested positive um for the the coronavirus but why the fuck did you get tested you fucking moron uh where is he where why should was he exposed is that why you're not supposed to get the new the new guidance is quote avoid testing unless the result would significantly change treatment that's the new motto in New York and in L.A., where testing is no longer the thing, of course, if there's kids, but kids are at a shortage also.

Seemingly, only the NBA and other celebrities can get tested and other people can't. But he's on his couch. Anyway, he's on his couch in his, I imagine, multimillion dollar home. And he's smiling like, don't worry, just lay low. I'm trying to find where. Meanwhile, it doesn't matter really because there's no cure. Is there even a treatment? No, no. And that's what I mean.

Unless it alters sort of what you would do and the treatment plan, there's no reason. Just stay at home. Why did he take another kit off the shelf it's ridiculous um in other words they should be for like medical workers because if they have it they need to get away from people yeah but if you're andy cohen and you're away from people already what's the point or an old person coming in sick and it's like well what are we going to do with you know like let's determine we have to is is this the flu that's hitting this guy i imagine that's a one also um anyway i don't have the thing but basically he was like all right just drink water you know my home jet like it was

it didn't it didn't change anything why did he have to know and he was already on self-quarantine because he wasn't feeling well by the way full disclosure and I always worry about this in broadcasting, and I try to be a responsible broadcaster. Don't fuck your dog. It does not cure. Because I don't know if Andy Cohen is listening to this. All right. Other. Okay, here.

Fun. His dog is listening, and he goes in the other room, hides under the bed. He can't get him out. Right. Exactly. He's desperately all day long. Fun news. There is something you won't want to get to TV reviews and TV.

There, a documentary dropped on Netflix yesterday, Friday called Tiger King, Murder, Mayhem, and Madness. It is about a guy who calls himself joe exotic and he's in oklahoma and he has over a hundred big cats on his compound like tigers oh yeah tigers mostly and it is a six-part documentary about what goes on with this tiger farm in Oklahoma. I'm only halfway through episode one, and I'm already so excited about tonight. So excited. Why?

First of all, when somebody says, hey, did you like my book? And they go, yeah, I only read the first half, but it's great. It doesn't say a lot about the book. Why did you stop watching halfway through the episode? Oh, I had this misguided podcast where i had to travel be within six feet of someone else who probably has it and do what i'm doing

this very second oh you were just watching it yes uh the documentary involves a murder for hire against the woman you'll see this is in the trailer and up top. Yeah. A murder for hire against the woman who runs a big cat rescue who tried to shut him down. Wow. But anyway, all I'm saying is you can have a cats themed weekend. Netflix is cornering the market on cats. They got don't fuck with cats.

They got this tiger King and then streaming now is cats. The movie don't fuck with cats is fucking good. Because I like documentaries where you don't know where it's going. And they didn't even necessarily know where it was going when they started. Right. And it just keeps striking gold after gold. It's fucking great. Yeah, it is great.

And apparently this one, one review of this documentary, Tiger King said, it's a bit messy and maybe a little all over the place, but there are so many twists and turns in these six episodes, you're going to love it. Other things to watch on TV,

there's Hulu. Hulu's got so much good shit in it because I like to go back and watch like old Mary Tyler Moore episodes. I know you're really into watching pilots of shows. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's just so like to go back and watch like old mary tyler moore episodes i know you're really into watching pilots of shows oh yeah it's so great to go back and see i want to see the first episode of cheers or taxi oh yeah i've seen them all it's amazing yeah yeah they're really great but there here's some shows you can check out if you haven't been watching it there's brooklyn 99 which is great baskets our friend zach alifanakis show i never stuck with

that i got to uh there's four seasons of it on there wow i'm probably halfway through two there's um atlanta's fucking good i love atlanta yeah um shrill which is their own series which is good um penis or pen 15 yeah that show is so unique and fantastic. I've talked about it on this podcast. Pen15 is great. Yeah. And you just can't believe those actresses aren't actually 15 years old.

And you know where the title comes from, right? What? It's like a middle school thing where you, I'm like, Greg, do you want to be in our, do you want to, you know, we have a club. Do you want to be in it? You're like, yeah, yeah, I want to be in it. And it's like, it's the Pen15 club. So you have to write the club name on your hand.

Write Pen15. So everyone's writing penis on their hand. Just like you fell for it even reading the title. Also, Twin Peaks. Don't forget about Twin Peaks, people. Game changer. Two seasons of that are on there. Anyway, that's

a bunch of... Oh, and Fargo. Fucking great. all of them three seasons of it Billy Bob Thornton that one was so good so check out those I haven't seen is it Goliath

where he's the lawyer who goes to Shay J's yes I haven't seen that I heard it's good yeah also

any other recommendations for people haven't started the wire yet oh Narcos on Netflix right both there's

two seasons of the Columbia version there's two seasons of the Mexico version both fantastic the Columbia one's better but they're both very much worth watching

alright psych by the way spread the word about this podcast because I think we're going to be switching from right now you find it by going to Fitz Dog Radio just because we've been too lazy to go get the actual, I don't know, the RSS.

You got to get an RSS feed for a podcast. So we're going to be switching to that next week. So you're going to have to start searching for Sunday Papers to find it. But tell your friends because we're having fun doing it. We'd love to get a lot of people listening. So spread the word. Let's do sports. Also known as Who Gives a Shit News.

This is my thinking on sports. People are so like I'm not really a sports guy, but like you're watching old hockey games you said last week. People just need to watch, honestly, anything. What happened to dog racing? There's no jockeys. That's true.

People will bet, you and I should film ourselves flipping coins or playing cards, and I think people would bet on who's going to win. You know, people just want to bet, especially, and watch contests. Well, I got a regular poker night, me and the boys in the neighborhood. Yep. So we are all— Nice distancing? No, we just got on PokerStars.net, where you go in and you each sign in under we call it

I'm not going to say what it's called. Okay. But and then you play each other and you can FaceTime through the app while you're playing the game and you can talk shit and play poker. Is there a way they don't look at your face? Let's say you have a horrible poker face. Oh good point.

Good point. You know and your tells Yeah. Yeah. poker face oh good point good point on your tells yeah yeah it would be a different tell when you're home when you're naked masturbating well the big news flush the that's the hand that gets you the flush i i guess i don't know um there's also the big trade obviously this week. We got to talk about Tom Brady going to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I mean, what? I heard New England's all angry at him.

What a week. Of course. What a week. Well, here's what New England fans do. They treat you like fucking shit, and then you leave, and they hate you even more. Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

All right. He's in Tampa Bay. Is Giselle really going to go to Tampa? She's psyched. What? She's a model. She wants to be in Florida. That's where the models all are. No one wants to be in Tampa. No one. I've spent a lot of time in Tampa in my life.

My grandmother was there. I used to go all the time. It's bad. It's ridiculous. Although, I started working in this new club called Wise Guys, and that part of Tampa, not as bad. There's little sections that are good, but I used to play a club in Ibor City, which is like a New Orleans.

It's like a dirtier. It's Ibor, yeah. It's Ibor, yeah, Ibor City. And it's like, it's fucking- It's a little New Orleans section. Yes, but it's white trash New Orleans. Oh, well, Florida. Yeah.

It's the collection of the big, I mean, if we have any listeners in Florida, usually they agree. That's the thing. There's a great Twitter handle called Florida Man. Yeah. And it always starts with Florida Man shoots self to get his own insurance money. Exactly. Right.

Kills self to get his own insurance. It's usually trying to get an alligator out of their garage. Yeah. All that shit. A lot of babysitters getting fucked. This Tiger King, and by the way, there's a lot of Florida already in Tiger King, of course. And wait till you see the people in this thing.

It's Mullet City. It's unbelievable. By the way, Chicago Blackhawks beat the San Jose Sharks from a game from two weeks ago. Get ahead and get the news. That's what I'm watching. My DVR is filled with all the hockey games. Why'd you ruin it? Spoiler alert.

Great. I'm saving them like a fucking starving man with crackers. I'm like, just every other day I watch one hockey game. I mean, if two fighters, what a big payday. This is what they should be doing right now. If there's a real match that people want to see, I don't know what it is, right? Whoever the best boxers are or the best cage fighters,

whatever they really want to see. Quarantine, fucking call the other guy and be like listen me you six weeks from now quarantine the fuck out of yourself because we're going to get tested you know at the weigh-in and it's good we have to both be healthy the ref's going to be healthy and no crowd or maybe a tested crowd no crowd, or maybe a tested crowd. No crowd. You're a corner man. You get your corner man, your cutter. You got to have a cutter.

I would pay-per-view that. Absolutely. Why wouldn't you? Right. No competition. There's no other shows that night, obviously. There's nothing. Here's what I can't believe. Maybe they have, but I haven't heard about it yet.

Zoom, which I bought stock in two weeks ago. It's amazing to me how many people use Zoom. What about, you can get 100 people on one Zoom call. What about I get two other comics together, we each do 10 minutes, and we do a 30-minute stand-up comedy show. And people, normally they tell you to mute yourself so that you're

yeah unmute yourself so we can actually hear laughter like an audience and do a stand-up comedy show get me joey diaz brian callen and like your regular shows people could still walk out or i'm muting you remember i used to mute you when we did the radio show oh yeah i remember that people don't remember i did a serious uh xm show for 10 years and mike was on it god how many years did you come on every week yeah it was a good amount i think at one point a good four years yeah every week and uh and i used to mute him if i didn't like what he was saying oh boy um here's We had fun. Here's a bet. So what about our bet?

Who's going to get the coronavirus first, me or you? Me. You're totally paranoid about it. I'm not paranoid. I'm not at home. Either are you now. I think it's our, but it's your kids are behaving better than my kids. My son is out with other kids that all just came back from their colleges and they're all getting into cars together.

So they're still going out your kids and seeing other kids. Yeah. Well, I was going to say, I might have you beat in. I mean, I might be worse than you where my kids remember I have them 50% of the time. So they're switching. There's a guaranteed move every week from another world. Yeah, but I'm sure your wife is even more stringent than you are. Yeah, I think she's being pretty good about it.

Yeah. So, all right. I bet the smart money is on you. Second bet. Whose temperature will be higher when we both have a fever? Well, if one of us gets it, the other guy's got it. Because we play god you borrowed we shared a set of golf clubs two days ago passed them back and forth for three hours i know it's

only because i don't own golf i proudly don't own golf clubs um yeah i don't know uh plus we both we have to that's our boat's why we're both so healthy. We have to take a photo of our temperature, and we'll see. I think, I don't know. I haven't had a temperature in, I don't even remember, over 10 years. Here's what I was going to, I played this game with my kids last night. Who is your dinner for five? You're quarantined.

You get to be with five people, any living person in the world, five people. Who are they? I don't know. For me, I got to take my three family members. I got to take my wife and two kids.

But then I add Bill Murray and I'm going to take Amy Sedaris. Huh. I don't know. I can't. There's too many ways to think about it. Off the top of your head, who are the five? Three family members is lame. That's not what the question's designed for.

All right, fuck the three of them. I'm going to take Amy Sedaris, Bill Murray, Stephen Colbert. Really? Yeah. Because he's got knowledge. And he's Catholic. I like Catholics. Ugh.

I don't know. You know, anyone I'd say, all my heroes are on the spectrum. So I'm going to have Bob Dylan, Woody Allen, Larry David, John Mattingly. Bob Dylan would be horrible. Horrible. That's what I mean. Same. Trust me. I've hung out with Larry David. It was the worst

minute, ten seconds of my life. Yeah. Now I've heard that about him. Yeah. So yeah. It's also an insult to all your good friends who go like, well, what about me? Yeah, of course. Like I would put Zach in there. Uh-huh.

He'll flake though. He won't show up. That's right. Imagine that. It's like, how's your dream dinner of 503 showed up? And then one had to leave early and then the other one was sick. Yeah. So those are always weird.

I don't know how to think about them. I mean, I'd love to ask real artists you know i'd love obviously to ask artists that have meant a lot to me questions you know what i mean no i'm talking about a long-term quarantine could be could be two months like who would you want to be with for two months oh so you want people that are proactive they're going to do activities with you yeah that are going they're going to do activities with you yeah that are going to be able to go deep into conversations watch out though for the people that are famous for good advice and all that like like oprah or oprah all she talked about is her

all she talked about for fucking 30 years is her weight gain and loss and gain and loss and then her favorite red bottom shoes and then in between really good stuff so it was a completely confusing message what's a red bottom shoe louboutins or wherever the fuck they are and uh i hate that you even know that no yeah well i was married well anyway no but it's also a pop culture thing and i might even have the wrong brand but whatever milano blonix whatever the fuck but what all i'm saying is she's so materialistic i don't know how that is in the same it's very confusing i think her message whatever oprah's great oprah's great who would be the one athlete bill bradley

well it's not Caitlyn Jenner I want Floyd Mayweather because I think he would just add some spice Pacquiao alright let's do some international that's a section yeah international

all I've talked about is italy that's true but you didn't talk about cambodia that's where a american couple in florida was on a cruise and uh it was their dream they saved up for a long time and i think it was kind of a high-end cruise but there were people from all over on it. And they tested positive for a few people on it. So Cambodia, who doesn't fuck around, immediately quarantined. Killed them. They killed them. They killed them.

Well, first of all, they sprayed them. They go, they literally sprayed us like insects with chlorine as they get off the vessel. And then they put them into a hotel, which they described as a dirty room with a leaking toilet, a barred window, and a door that doesn't lock with insects like a flying lizard.

And they don't know how long they'll be there. Nobody's telling them how long they'll be there. If you're feeling bad about being in your house because you don't have the right kind of Milanos that you wanted. First of all, I think you're already sick or the chlorine got to you. If you're describing a flying lizard as an insight, You're already so discombobulated. Yeah, they're fucking done. They're done. Maybe it's a flying reptile.

In Russia, a great-grandmother, 80 years old, started playing hockey. She was the captain of a senior league team. She just started playing when she was 79 there's a videotape of it and guess what she fucking sucks like she's out there there's video for skating with them and like uplifting stories it's supposed to be uplifting until you watch the video yeah and she just like she could barely move out there and they pass her the puck and she misses it yeah it's like you know it's it's just it's just a fucking news story it's one of those feel-good news stories they don't think you're gonna read past the headline

yeah exactly i would love to take a running fucking check at her yeah or it's almost like uh in a local high school football game the uh special needs kid is sweet. They gave him the ball. Creamed. Fucking leveled. The linebacker from the other side tore him in two for a loss of 12. He hit him so hard he went backwards. Luckily, he already had a helmet on. Both helmets flew off. Also, I got to figure, maybe that's when you go into hockey when you're a russian because you figure you don't have that much longer to live anyway so if you lose the game

and they shoot you i like that russia they don't know about these they're not they're not being very honest with their numbers imagine right. Right? They're saying there's like none. Yeah, and none of their athletes juice, and the Olympics was above board. But it's also, Russia shouldn't say that because there's so many conspiracy theorists that think that Russia launched the virus against other countries to sow chaos.

So. So, so, so. Should we get to, do we have any other sections to hit are we gonna go we did sports i think we did entertainment page we didn't you're giving me a little business gave you some tax days moved to july 15th no you didn't know that i didn't know i'll wait this is the business oh sorry i read ahead i saw Yeah. How'd you see it? It's, you know, I can read upside down and crumpled. Tax day moved to July 15th.

I have no jokes about it, but I did hear someone, I saw a post by someone from Costa Rica, maybe, saying their country, no rent, no taxes. Really? Yeah, yeah. They're like, it's a push. It's like a three-month push or something like that. Wow. What do you think is going to happen to rent here?

Well, you can't evict. You're not allowed to evict right now. Okay. And you're not allowed to charge. I think you don't have to pay your mortgage if you can show need. But does that mean it adds up and you got to pay it all later or just you get a free pass? I don't know anything about this. It's not as clean as like, all right, no one knows.

So your landlord doesn't know the bank. You don't know your landlord. But that never works out right. Some landlords don't know the bank. This is just their business model. No, I think the government gives money to the banks because that's where the buck stops, right? I mean, if nobody's paying mortgage. No, but that's what I mean. Like my landlord may not owe a bank. He might have, this might be his job is having these residential, you know, these rental properties. Yeah.

So when people stop paying him rent, he's not getting any relief from anywhere else. You know what's fucked up is because I'm an independent subcontractor as a comedian, I, so I'm incorporated. So I pay for the last, I've been incorporated for 20 years. Every month I pay unemployment tax. Which you can't collect. Cannot collect. Same here. I am now unemployed.

And for the first time in the 20 years I've been on this, I have no work. I have no money, no income. And I looked into it. I call my account. I go, hey, can I. And I looked into it. I call my account. I go, hey, can I get some unemployment? They're like, you're not qualified. Well, what the fuck am I paying it for? Right.

Now, why aren't you qualified? Because your independent subcontractors are not qualified for unemployment. So people do work it out, just FYI. Wow. Who's going to help me? Who's going to help me right now? Because one of the things, right, is you're on a board of a company. I'm the president. Yeah, so that's one of the things, right, is you're on a board of a company. I'm the president.

Yeah, so that's one of the problems. I told you that, right? So all of us, a lot of us out here, you're told to form like an S-corp and incorporate. So when you're writing, even it goes to like a business and all that. But one guy, so everyone has to bring in their paperwork at the start of a new job or a new tv show and the writers will bring it in and he created a company he's the only it's a sole proprietorship he's the only person and he listed himself as vice president i think it's really funny i won employee of the month for like three months i saw your killing it. I saw your picture up. Right.

Starbucks, closing for two weeks. No. Yes. Really? Oh, boy, there's the reaction. There's the American reaction. I know I went in there a couple weeks ago. No seats, right? Well, there was no cream.

They had to pour it for you. They didn't have it out. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. So I went in this week. Which I fucking hate. I got to pour my own cream. They didn't have it out. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. So I went in this week. Which I fucking hate. I got to pour my own cream because I take very little. And even when you say a little bit, they still overdo it.

So whatchamacallit, I went in two days ago and no seats or tables. Yeah. They had totally moved over to their to-go factory. And now it's beyond that. They're closing. Here's more business news. Boeing suspends dividend to save cash amid coronavirus. So their shareholders are not going to get dividends.

So if you think things are going bad for you. And the market, my shorts are still on fire, so to speak. Market's way down, keeps going down. My mom got out of the market entirely three weeks ago. I told her she was crazy and she has done exactly the right thing. Although I would tell people right now, Mike and I have different opinions on this. I would tell people right now, the market's down 30%. It's going to eventually come back. So if you're investing long term, don't pull out right now. And some might even say not right away, but be prepared to start putting money, if you have any, put some into the market.

Like say you took it all out. You want to put it back in because when it bounces back, it's going to happen fast. The rich man, they volatility. They love, they love it. So that guy, the Senator Richard Burr,

who sold 1.7 million. We didn't do that story. So like, for instance, these senators sold right now, it's, it's a little bit of a blurry area. Um,

he said he was trading on public information. Now, is he not allowed to do that? No, but it wasn't public information. Now, is he not allowed to do that? No, but it wasn't public information. He was briefed. No, no, he can prove it is. No, he was also briefed, but then he also didn't tell his constituents

that they should be preparing. And anyway, he sold 1.7, but my point is this. So he, let's say you're out there, right? And you have a 401k with whatever, hopefully if you do with your company or something. So let's say it goes to make the math easy. It goes from a hundred to 50, right? Well, you just lost 50%.

And now you're sitting around, you're hanging around year after year. Now you're hoping it gets back up to where it was. And meanwhile, you haven't made any money, obviously. And you're just, you're just trying to break even. People who get out, like Senator Richard Burr, and they sell $1.7 million, and they sell it near $100. And whose wife is the sister of the head of the stock exchange. She's worth $500 million. So this is what people didn't realize with 2008.

When the rich sell it and then it drops and then they buy back in, when it goes from 50 to 100, remember, went down 50%, just to get back to even, it goes up 100%. They make 100%, not 50, when it just gets back to normal, if they've pulled out up top. Interesting numbers, Mike Gibbons. Get some scratch paper when Mike talks, because God damn, it gets complicated.

Oh. All right, let's do some Sunday comics. All right. I know which one you want to get to. I'm going to wait. I'm going to save to get to. I'm going to wait. I'm going to save. I'm going to save Family Circus. I'm going to look it up.

You get too upset. I'm going to look it up before next week if his son is actually writing these now. They were always awful. He wrote them for a week, and he's back from vacation. I didn't include one of those because I know it'll drive you too crazy. He's back from vacation. I didn't include one of those because I know it'll drive you too crazy. But here is.

I don't know why we haven't been doing the Lockhart's because the Lockhart's. I know nothing. I never read the funny. You've seen these guys, right? The Lockhart's. No. What is that accounting firm? The premise is the guy is they're middle aged. And the guy Leroy is fucking hates his wife, Loretta.

And she hates him. It's like old school 50s fucking, like when people, when comedians shit on their wives during their acts the entire time. Okay. So Leroy who's bald and wears V-neck sweaters. So when do we think this one was created? In the 60s.

The one we're looking at. Probably in the 60s. And he makes fun of her cooking like he calls a smoke detector her kitchen timer and uh that's kind of funny no it's a really funny comic okay and so here's one where leroy's looking at loretta she's walking away and it's always him talking to one of his buddies while she's in the background and he's talking shit about her he goes loretta went on a of his buddies while she's in the background and he's talking shit about her. He goes, Loretta went on a crash diet and I got caught in the turbulence. I don't know.

It's an airline crash. I like it. All right. Let's get to, you know, Hager the Horrible. What's he doing? What's the rap's the rape? What's the rape, rapist up to? Hager said, uh, he's telling his buddy, they both got their Viking helmets on.

Hager's got his big orange beard. And he said, when I invade, ransack, and pillage a castle, I hear unkind words directed at me. That's when I put up an invisible wall to protect myself from being hurt by people who don't care about my feelings. Always know when to set boundaries. So he's a sensitive pillager. Well, pillage means rape. Doesn't it? I don't know.

Oh, no, it's rape and pillage. Yeah. Maybe it's redundant. He says invade, ransack, and pillage. I consider rape as under pillage. It's part of it. Imagine you're like England way back when Vikings would invade. And, you know, they pull up and they have their motto on the side.

And it's rape and pillage. Like, fuck. But then, like, the next harbor over, a boat pulls up and it just says, rape and rape. That's their motto. Oh my God, get me over to the rape and pillage port. That boat will lose a little time on the raping as they pillage. But these maniacs.

That cough didn't sound good. Yeah, uh-oh. What was that? Sorry about that. Jesus. We are three feet apart. It was a wet good. Yeah, uh-oh. What was that? Sorry about that. Jesus. We are three feet apart. It was a wet one. Don't worry about it.

You got to look for the dry one. Mm-hmm. All right. That was Hager. Let's get over to Family Circus, your favorite. All right. What do we got? I'm going to show it to you.

Meanwhile, I'm starting to get Family Circus. Can I tell you that? Because the only explanation I have, unless it's for kids, is that adults need to be unchallenged and comforted, and they're fucking terrified. These are the people who jump when a cat comes to eat in their kitchen or something. And I guess I'm becoming that with this lockdown and the death count maybe family circus is it circle or circus family circus will become my favorite

thing yeah as i'm like i just need it to help my breathing right oh good a piece of fucking useless shit that is not in any way making brain activity within my skull so uh this is good it's like it's like hugging your grandmother. You never get an erection, but it feels comforting somehow. Yeah, probably more comforting to the guys that get erections. Do you realize that at a certain age,

we're going to be fucking a woman in her 70s? We may be. You'll be 90 because you're single. I'll be in my 70s, and I'll be fucking a woman in her 70s i guess or even 80s right i mean now it goes well pill if all goes well yeah i mean picture a woman in her 70s now well they always say that they yeah right they say the you know the the homes there's a lot of action in retirement homes. A lot of venereal diseases flying around there.

Yeah. Money more. Family circus. It's the father who's the lamest guy. He's the guy that only shops at the Gap, and he's got sensible glasses and a haircut that he parts to the side. Does this bastard have a name? Mr. Family Circus.

All right. And he's saying to his two kids. Now, his kid is, there's two kids looking at him and one of them says, is it true that when you were a kid, people were smarter than their phones? Okay, so this is new.

Yeah, this is a new one. Let me, I can't see it. I haven't seen it. Let me see this piece of fucking shit. It's shrunken down. It's that little one over there is it true that when you were a kid people were smarter than their phones so how yeah how is it not thrown out how so it's just smartphones. You work backwards from a fucking name of a smartphone. Right.

Yeah. Oh, and by the way, like 20 years ago, was it dad? Remember when pagers pages were in books? Like what? What the fuck? And this guy has seven, seven days. He's got seven days in a week. He's got eight.

Picture he works a 40 hour week. Yeah. He's going to, he a week. He's got eight. Picture he works a 40-hour week. Yeah. He gets up, has some coffee. Yeah. Shaves, puts on a shirt, goes up to, he's got, I'm picturing he's got one of those attic rooms. Yeah. He's got windows on three sides. Right.

And a desk, like an architect desk. Yeah, yeah. That he's drawing on. And he does that for 40 hours a week. And he comes up with with is it true that when you were a kid people were smart on their phones check in the mail pays the mortgage dad when you were young were spiders the only web did they make the only web like fucking ship it fucking cape cod house fucking what and this is a business so there's a boss there's a buyer right yeah

adventure isn't the buyer like you're you're not giving me goods yeah what the fuck and this guy's name is i wish i could find it he better give so much money to charity jeff king yeah keen yeah i hope he gives the money to charity but what a tan this guy must have because he works on Monday from 9am till 10.15 am and then I guess he's got the rest of the time

to golf, garden imagine if you gave me blank family circuses and just be like what's going on there there's no relation to the picture. Yeah. Right. Even when there's a specific thing in the picture.

Yeah. Yeah. He could walk in with a dead cat and this fucker who drew the dead cat wouldn't even write dialogue about the dead cat. Let's get to Blondie. Oh, my little princess uh kind of a lime green sweater today just above the knees some pedal pushers and that blue dog they get this fucking weird blue dog and uh he's always like uh walking next to blondie like he I wonder if people jerk off to this other than you. Her breasts.

Like anime, right? Yeah. I mean, there's a huge- But I mean, anime is- Do you know how much animated porn there is? No. It's, all right. Does this, does your,

am I blocked from porn here in this office? I imagine not. Believe me not welcome back i'd shudder the place because i think i once you know i came up with the idea uh when we had the ben show on comedy central which no one watched look it's no it doesn't trust me that's not a brag it's not a brag although that was one of my favorite shows ever we thought let's advertise we will not tell comedy central let's advertise on porn hub let's call porn up so we call them they're in canada and they it's you porn porn hub i don't

know if red tube's under that but it's an umbrella it's a family of companies and their numbers are obviously insane the traffic is like six times CNN. One thing on the internet. It's unbelievable. Right. And so, um, when we got into that, I'm like, do they,

you know, are they, you know, so anyway, I looked into it and then I looked into how many views, like what's the most viewed on there. And I remember, I don't know what year it was.

I looked, I think like eight out of the top 10 most viewed that week or that day, most viewed porn videos were animated. Wow. No, I remember it vividly. Yes. It was really crazy. But the thing about Blondie is this was done in the 50s. This was done in like the 50s.

Yeah, pinup girls. I mean, I'm just telling you, you can't proportion a body like this. And then you get to her face. She's got the big lips, high cheekbones, the yellow, it's not even golden hair, it's like yellow with curls up high.

It's like her fucking, here's the thing that kills me about it. She spends so much goddamn time in the morning getting ready, preparing herself. Yeah. He comes home from work, she's got a different outfit on, she's got a cocktail waiting for him. So she comes in the room getting ready, preparing herself. He comes home from work, she's got a different outfit on,

she's got a cocktail waiting for him. So she comes in the room, Dagwood, this big footed cowlick piece of shit, is laying on the couch, not even facing towards her, faced inside, and she goes, "'Dear, dear, are you still napping?' He goes, "'Actually, I'm just lying here "'considering some interior design changes.'

She says, really? Which rooms do you have in mind? And he goes, well, that's not what she would sound like. Really? Which rooms do you have in mind? Well, the basement, for starters. Next frame. I think a sofa like this would be perfect for my workshop.

Doesn't even turn around doesn't he talks with his back to her he gets you huh oh that son of a bitch if i could just get in there put me in one one week just put me in for one week and you you draw the blondie character and i get to draw me doing whatever i want for the Blondie character. That's perfect. That would be the number one thing on SkinTube that week. Alright, listen. We've done it again. Hey, one follow-up to the stupid Imagine video that all these

Hollywood people sang. Here's the best part. Wait till they, the liberal Hollywood elite, find out that because they sang it and it went viral, they are putting money in Phil Spector's pocket. Phil Spector was producer of the song Imagine. Oh, really? Interesting.

If he's producer. He's in jail, isn't he? He is in jail for killing his girlfriend. Allegedly. I believe. Yeah. Well, if he's in jail, is it allegedly? Yep. Still allegedly as far as I'm concerned. You know, yeah. Well, if he's in jail, is it allegedly? Yep.

Still allegedly as far as I'm concerned. You know he got married and was married for 10 years while in jail and now is divorced and just won a little spousal support case. He won it? Yeah. She appealed to get more and he's like, no. But he's never been out of jail while they've been married. get more and he's like no but he's never been out of jail while they've been married he was in jail waiting to be sentenced when they either met or got definitely when they got married yeah maybe

the producer doesn't make money on it but wait till they hear they're singing a song that uh he produced because you know it's cancel culture forget it that song is going to be canceled well way to throw it back in their faces, Mike. Yup. I want to thank, of course, Andrea Gilletti, who's our producer, who does a fine job. And I spoke to her about, I don't know what happened, but it seems like Apple Podcasts has been like, the last minute of podcasts have been getting cut off. She's looking into it,

but it's happening to like a lot of the podcasts. So we apologize if the ends of our podcasts have been not there, but we did some funny fucking shit. We gave some money away to charity. It was a lot of stuff happened. Yeah.

It was missed. And we're going to be, again, look for it under family, under America. How about Sunday papers? Under Sunday papers. You're getting the virus first.

You got it. You already got the virus first. You got it. You already got it. Thank you guys for listening. 103.5 temperature. Don't forget, tell your friends. Also, listen to my other podcast, Fitz Dog Radio, as well as Childish, my podcast with Alison Rosen. I got tour dates.

We'll be rescheduled. I'm not your only one. Starting up in August again. We're going to take off the next March, April, May, June. Five months? Who? All my dates are canceled for like five months. Oh, your dates.

Phew. I thought your podcasts were canceled. No. God, no. All right. Thank you, Mike Gibbons. All right, everyone. Be safe.

Take it seriously. And God, especially grandparents. Everyone take care of their grandparents and parents. And leave your dog alone. Oh, what's our sign-off? Yeah. See in the papers. Read all about it.

See in the papers. We keep saying we're going to come up with a list. Next week, we're going to have one. I got it. I love it. Alright, print it. Ship it. Read it in the sign-off papers. All right, print it, ship it.