Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers with Greg and Mike 9/6/2026 | Greg Fitzsimmons

Episode Date: September 6, 2026

Subscribe to Greg Fitzsimmons: https://bit.ly/subGregFitz Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/PAPERS #sponsored Go to https://surfshark.com/sunday or use code SUNDAY at checkout to get 4 extra months of Surfshark! Greg and Mike are coming in from opposite coasts this week, with questionable Wi-Fi but no shortage of stories. Mike recaps a trip through the Berkshires and Tanglewood before the guys get into robots fighting back, the White House's bizarre new online games, Florida men behaving exactly as expected, and an ethical question involving workplace blackmail. Plus, a round of Give or Take featuring Beyoncé, Joan Rivers and Steve Irwin, Mike remembers an unforgettable encounter with Gloria Steinem and RuPaul at the Emmys, and the guys pay tribute to Steinem while working their way through this week's cartoons, headlines and assorted nonsense. Support the show by supporting our sponsors: Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/PAPERS Surfshark: https://surfshark.com/sunday — use code SUNDAY to get 4 extra months of Surfshark. This show is produced by Gotham Production Studios and part of the Gotham Network. https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/studios/ Follow Greg Fitzsimmons: Facebook: https://facebook.com/FitzdogRadio Instagram: https://instagram.com/gregfitzsimmons Twitter: https://twitter.com/gregfitzshow Official Website: http://gregfitzsimmons.com Tour Dates: https://bit.ly/GregFitzTour Merch: https://bit.ly/GregFitzMerch “Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons” Book: https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82 “Life on Stage” Comedy Special: https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial Listen to Greg Fitzsimmons: Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio Sunday Papers: http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod Childish: http://childishpod.com Watch more Greg Fitzsimmons: Latest Uploads: https://bit.ly/latestGregFitz Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/radioGregFitz Sunday Papers: https://bit.ly/sundayGregFitz Stand Up Comedy: https://bit.ly/comedyGregFitz Popular Videos: https://bit.ly/popGregFitz About Greg Fitzsimmons: Mixing an incisive wit with scathing sarcasm, Greg Fitzsimmons is an accomplished stand-up, an Emmy Award winning writer, and a host on TV, radio and his own podcasts. Greg is host of the popular “FitzDog Radio” podcast (https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio), as well as “Sunday Papers” with co-host Mike Gibbons (http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod) and “Childish” with co-host Alison Rosen (http://childishpod.com). A regular with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, Greg also frequents “The Joe Rogan Experience,” “Lights Out with David Spade,” and has made more than 50 visits to “The Howard Stern Show.” Howard gave Greg his own show on Sirius/XM which lasted more than 10 years. Greg’s one-hour standup special, “Life On Stage,” was named a Top 10 Comedy Release by LA Weekly. The special premiered on Comedy Central and is now available on Amazon Prime, as a DVD, or a download (https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial). Greg’s 2011 book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons (https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82), climbed the best-seller charts and garnered outstanding reviews from NPR and Vanity Fair. Greg appeared in the Netflix series “Santa Clarita Diet,” the Emmy-winning FX series “Louie,” spent five years as a panelist on VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” was a reoccurring panelist on “Chelsea Lately,” and starred in two half-hour stand-up specials on Comedy Central. Greg wrote and appeared on the Judd Apatow HBO series “Crashing.” Writing credits include HBO’s “Lucky Louie,” “Cedric the Entertainer Presents,” “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,” “The Man Show” and many others. On his mantle beside the four Daytime Emmys he won as a writer and producer on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” sit “The Jury Award for Best Comedian” from The HBO Comedy Arts Festival and a Cable Ace Award for hosting the MTV game show "Idiot Savants." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad?

I get it. I'm Siaia and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.

Wayfair's Labor Day clearance is on. Now. Right now at Wayfair, you can get up to 70% off everything home. Shop Wayfair's Labor Day clearance now through September 7th at Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. You're hearing this because they need a song. Sunday papers and the facts are often wrong. You're only hearing this because they need a song. Welcome, read all about it. You know the drill. Go out to your doorstep. Sniff around for the fresh ink. Let your dog pick it up. You know what?

Just let your dog pick it up. Sit in your lazy boy with your coffee and your bathrobe and let that motherfucker drop that thing in your lap. Are our names usually on the windows? Yes. Really? Okay. Yeah.

So when they do a promo, what, they zoom in past that? I don't know. It might just be there for us to see right now. I don't know if it shows up in the actual... I love all your technical explanation. It's just the confidence instead of saying, I don't know. When I try to say I don't know, as I hit don't, my mind spins that I'm going to look dumb in front of my father at dinner. Oh, man, there's no one doing that.

I'll tell you that right now. Nope. Yeah, all right. Let's do this. We're going to keep it tight, I think, today. I'm a little spent. I just drove through three states to get here to this. podcast. Which states?

woke up in the gorgeous Berkshires in Stockbridge, was in the got a coffee at the Red Lion in this morning. It was great. I was visiting my, I'd say my oldest friend probably, Joe Tenetti. We went to this elitist snobby high school that your sister and brother went to. Your brother and I didn't make it through. Your sister did. So did mine. Hackley and Tarrytown. And I felt the kids were pretty snobby there. In fact, they were way less snobby in boarding school where I went after that. But anyway, I was still pretty working class and rough around the edges. I mean, I lived in subsidized housing with my mom in a tiny apartment with my sister. And, you know, these kids were all and Brooks Brothers and L.L. Bean. And there was another kid, and you could see him across the

cafeteria with his Timberlands, his belly, his, his like polyester blend shirts and pants. And I'm like, that's my people. And it was Joe Tenetti. He shops at Marshalls too. Meanwhile, he came from a good situation. I think he just was keeping it very real. That's the, that's the thing he was doing. And he, then they, kicked out my two best friends at the end of eighth grade. Joe was one of them. He doesn't like to say kicked out. He says not invited back because they told him early summer that you're no longer welcome here. Anyway, Joe's an artist.

Did the art thing a long time. You know him well. Did the art thing in Brooklyn. Then moved up with his lovely wife, Sarah. And now they have two boys in Stockbridge. We go swim at this room. That's like James Taylor country up there. Oh, no, no.

He literally said. What's James? Did James Taylor has some song like walking on the side of a road or something like that? No, it's, and so was the snowfall from Stockbridge to Boston. Yeah, about the mass pike. But anyway, he has another one about walking on a road. Anyway, Joe goes, yeah, he goes, yeah, he goes, I saw him walking on a road. He's like, you know, right out here they show me the school that James Taylor's kids went to and all that stuff.

But also one time, we go to this very waspy lake situation there. And so I'm swimming with him. And then I just make a dumb joke. I'm like, check out Yo-Yo Ma coming in the water here, right? Because there was this older Asian guy coming in. But Joe goes, how did you know? And was dead serious. And I'm like, what are you talking about?

He goes, that's Yo-Yo-Mah. hilarious. He lives there because of Tanglewood. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I was there. We went to Tanglewood and saw Tadeschi trucks with Luke Nelson warming up. Oh, no way.

How was that? It was awesome. Are they still doing the, uh, the, um, uh, Lye and the Family Stone Medley at the end? They didn't do sly. They didn't hope, now we'll talk, we'll sound like complete deadheads talking about what they played and what they didn't play. But it was great. And I love they're playing, uh, Dali Parton's Wildflowers, which is amazing.

Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah. So that's really great. They played Ohio again, which I know they played in the bowl. And anyway, it was great. And some high school friends also came in. And then, like, all of a sudden I get a tap on the shoulder. A teacher from my high school who recognized me.

Who's still alive? Yeah, yeah. No, not only that, he's like just one biking all over around Lake Placid. And was, like, telling us about his whole, yeah, I mean, I guess he was like, 10 years older than we were maybe. Yeah. Maybe 12. It's weird, though.

You know, like, he's still, like, I can just call him Mr. Kinney. You know, like, I don't even know if I know his first name. Do your nieces call you Uncle Mike? Yes. Yeah. My niece and nephew call me Uncle Mike. I kind of like it. I like it.

It feels earned. Uncle Mike is a very, yeah. It's a step up for you. It's a good title. Yeah. Well, Uncle Greg. Oh, all right. I thought it was Uncle Mike.

Oh, all right. That's kind of pedestrian. So anyway, I drove down today, stopped at my old high school, which the Appalachian Trail goes through. It's like crazy. And came down that southwestern corner of Massachusetts. You jump into Lakeville, Connecticut. It's just crazy, beautiful. And I noticed one thing.

It's one of the few places now, maybe the only place, where when I see an American flagout, I don't get, like, concerned. Like, it's usually on a barn or a tractor, but it means something different. It's more like John Cougar Mellencamp than Kid Rock. Yeah, I mean, keep in mind, it's on a farm in the most educated state in the union, I believe. and maybe the smartest state. I don't know how they measure those things, but Massachusetts. So it has a different,

different than when like whether it was Nashville or Orange County or other places like that. Well, I'm glad you're having a happy little trip. Good for you. In New England in the summer, driving around your rent-a-car, listening to old Dylan bootlegs and seeing your old high school preppy friends.

It sounds so idyllic. I am standing knee-deep and mud in my backyard. All right. Because we had a little... What? You told me this before, and I asked what caused it? And you said, save it for the pod.

Save it for the podcast. I was... We had a little gas smell in the TV room, which I normally just assume it's me and I forgot that I farted. You ever do that? I feel like to fart all the time. I realized it was not that kind of fart.

And so eventually we called the gas company. And they came over and said, yes, you have a leak. So they shut off the gas. And we had to call a plumber. And six plumbers were busy. Couldn't get a plumber. Oh.

And then finally we get this one company. And they come over and they take a look at it. We've got like, you know, the original pipes from when the house was built in 1946 and there's rust going into the fucking ground where the pipes are and so they say they look at it and they go yeah we can fix it but we just we just put a new patio down in the back with bricked it's basically bricks on the back yes i saw it had to tear it up tear it up yeah and what timing you live there how long have you lived there uh 25 years and in the summer

in your 25th year when you decide to put in a hardscape, it gets torn up right away. Yep. And then, and they quote us $8,900. Okay. And I talked him down to $7,800. And then they hit a water line as they were digging the trench for the gas line. And that was pouring water into our backyard, mud pit back.

there. And yeah, so then the city had to come and shut off the water. So now there's no gas. There's no water. I just took a dump and I flushed it, which means nobody else can take another dump. What? I'm missing something. You can't flush.

There's no water. Oh. Oh, oh, oh. You know, I had the water in the tank. You get one free flush. My, all right, I don't know what line was broken, but it's taking a dump. dump the most prudent thing to do when all this is happening? Can you're...

No, it's not a sewer. It's not a sewer. It's incoming water. Oh. But that being said, I should have maybe filled up a couple of buckets with water before having the city shut off the water. It's been a little complicated. It's been a very busy couple days.

Man, it's great. It sounds like it almost sounds like you got hit by a hurry. But meanwhile, when you told me, that, I was like, I'm very out of the news cycle, which will be evident as we do this podcast. But I do know there's three hurricanes in the eastern Pacific. Really? Yeah. So I didn't know if like you guys got hit with like a lot of rain or something.

Not a drop. It's been beautiful out. Wow. Originally they said it was going to rain this weekend and then they pushed that off. So we should be okay. I have to go to Vancouver tomorrow to do a show. and I just went to book my hotel because I waited to the last minute

and hotels are all $900 because it's Labor Day weekend. So if anybody lives in Vancouver, oh, it's too late, they won't get this until Sunday. I need a place to stay. Do we know anybody in Vancouver? But you can find a guest room on Airbnb or something. Yeah, I'll have to do that.

Which is like undesired, like families can't do it or whatever. So just stragglers. Yeah, also, The Pacific hit 80 degrees of San Diego. No. Yep. So. I know.

I've been in the water a lot the last weekend. It's been at 75. Enjoy it because, yeah, it's going to be incredibly disruptive, the weather patterns and all that, they say, to put it mildly. Yeah. The next six months is going to be very wet. Got some good podcast coming up. I just had your buddy Dave Kekner on.

Keckner is a national treasure. He is absolutely one of the best. I said, God damn it, I wish you didn't live in North Hollywood. You know, we could watch football games with him on Sunday. He's just like an old school Irish guy. He's got manners. He's dark. He's funny.

He's got a good heart. He's had his struggles, but he's doing really good. He made a great talk that Well, you're burying the lead Like he's genuinely Considered one of the greatest Improvers of all time Yes

And lightning fast So when you do a podcast with him It's just it's so you feel so connected We went for like an hour and 20 minutes Which I hate doing to my guest I try to keep it to an hour So I'm respecting their time But I didn't realize it had been an hour

20 minutes He's just he's the best Yeah He's great We got together years ago, we just, well, first of all, we're going, we're going to do a psilocybin tour together. Oh. And about, I don't know, seven years ago, he and I went to Transcendental Meditation Training for a week together. Oh, yeah, I did that.

And we're in Beverly Hills? Yeah. At David Lynch's place? I don't know if it's David Lynch's place. Listen to how Hollywood we are. Go ahead. What's that? Oh my God.

Wait, I froze for a second. Oh. I open the door to get better Wi-Fi. I'm in a little nook in the woods. There we go. Look at this situation. I'm in the woods here. Oh, wow.

It looks like the album cover for Led Zeppelin 3. Not this way with the pull-out sofa, but a nice fireplace behind it. No. What a podcast. in a friend's house or a hotel? No, I'm up at Jenny who said a big hello. I went out. They just got back. They just got up here from New York City. So big hello from my steps. Oh, you're in Carmel. I'm in Carmel. Oh, nice. Okay. All right. So let's get to it. We want to thank Bob for the great logo this week. Very adorable. That might be something that we could sell. I don't know. Bob, let me know how

you made this. If you actually made these figurines, we might need to mass produce them and sell them on the show. You look like the woman who does the podcast with Galloway. Why forget her name? That's what you look like. Oh, yeah. The song, did you listen to the song I sent you this week? In my car didn't have any speakers. Oh, Jesus Christ. But Moses, man, thank you. Excellent song. You know what I said to him? I go, This sounds like Jason Isbell. It sounds like Jason Isbell, so you'll really like it. Who is playing tonight?

It kind of made me sad for a little while. Oh, all right. No. Yeah. Jason Isbell is in Tanglewood tonight. I mean, they're getting some cool acts there in addition to Yo-Yo Ma. Just when your life could not get any whiter. All right.

Corrections? We got corrections. We got John. Park says not the Jones Town flood. As you said, it's the Johnstown flood. Sure is. I should know because I've listened to that audio book like four times. And Springsteen song and many songs. Am I? Yep. I haven't seen you freeze. I don't have the strongest Wi-Fi here in the woods. Is it me? Well, my house is flooded and without gas. So who knows if the Wi-Fi is next.

This is production value, folks. This is production value. All right. And then we got, now we got Hugh, who says, hilarious, so entitled to ask your fans to pay in your currency instead of the currency in their own country, L.O.L. I was talking about going to Vancouver. I think maybe it was on my other podcast. Going to Vancouver.

And here's the deal I get from the theater. I can sell my pins, which I sell for $10. They cost me four And then the venue takes 20% So that's two So now I'm down to making $4 And then I have to hire Somebody to handle the merch

My pins The club takes a slice of the pins It's a theater Yeah, sometimes theaters do this And so also the rule with the theater is you have to hire somebody on their staff and give them $200 to handle the merchandise. And then whatever you got left over, when you get to the border, you have to pay a 25% tariff on the money.

So I'm not seeing the upside here. That's crazy. I love his little hack here with the start. Starbucks gift card. Read that. Yeah. So he says, when your fans buy your pins in Canadian currency. Oh, that was the other thing,

is I'd be getting paid $10 Canadian currency, which is only worth 85 cents in American currency. And then I would have to pay a fee to transfer the money to American currency. So he says, take it all to Starbucks

buy a Starbucks gift card, and then it'll work in the U.S., handy way to change the currency. Very, very smart. I mean, I think, I mean, that's not a movie of two dumb guys loading up on thousands of Starbucks cards for some scam that won't work,

and then they lose them or whatever. I like that. You mean it's, what, 85 cents on the Canadian dollar? Yes. I mean, I'm guessing. I know the U.S. dollar is always a little bit stronger. Oh, so it's the other way around. So.

All right. Jackie Coogan wasn't in the Little Rascals? So I think it would... Go ahead. Or our gang, as Mike mentioned, he might be thinking of Jackie Cooper instead. I don't even remember that conversation. Yep.

No, you brought up the laws that protect child actors from their like parents taking all their money. So, and he's right. So it was, it was Jackie Coogan. and who I mistakenly said was in The Little Rascals. So, yeah. All right. One other thing Hugh mentioned is that the Gaboris sisters hailed from Budapest, Hungary, not Romania.

Oh, okay. Okay. Mark M says, thanks for the honorable mention on the show. I guess Mike asked some questions. I get checked. Oh, this is the guy who had the cancer removed from his first. face. Oh.

He had squamous cell carcinoma, not basil, and he cut it just once, healed up very nicely. He said, however, I can't quite pick my nose up the right nostril as I could previously because it's smaller. I get that. Use your pinky. He said, I would like to get your, yeah. So I'm happy that he, that the scars. not too bad. Paul says, hey man, okay, we asked where okay comes from. I don't know if these

letters, these actually should have gone to letters to the editor instead of corrections, but I think he was correcting us maybe. The phrase okay comes from a telegram where one idiot wrote, all correct, O-L-L-K-O-R-E-C-T. And the guy receiving the message was his friend and the whole friend group made fun of the idiot for the rest of his life. So this was like the original text chain. I think this is a made-up story, but anyway. Well, somebody else said, this is Blake B. You asked the meaning of okay. What I've been told is it's an abbreviation from old German immigrants saying, alas clare, alas clare, a L-L-L-E-S-K-L-L-A-R, which is all is good. And with them trying to speak English people in the Northeast interpreted as all correct,

which started to be abbreviated as okay. Ah, ales clare. Hey. That's from Blake B. Are those trains filled with Jewish people from the city? Allis Clare. Allis Clare. Don't worry about it.

Allis Clare. Yeah. And then they make the little German heart shape with their hands of. hands in front of their chest. Now, do you think OK Corral? Was that for Oklahoma? Oh, interesting. Probably. I don't know. You keep reading. I'm going to look that one up. The other thing Blakeby said to me, and he had actually DM me on a text that he wrote, or a DM on Instagram that he wrote, that he wrote this joke, Trump to rename the San Andreas fault to Biden's fault.

Wait, that's an original? Well, that's what I said. I go, I wasn't aware that you had written this because it was kind of a meme I'd seen a lot online. So I've never seen that. I mean, I think that's pretty clever. It's very clever. And I'm not taking anything away from Blake B. I'm just hoping it was him that wrote it because it's a great joke.

Okay, Corral derives from the old. Old Kindersley Corral, a 19th century livery and horse stable in Tombstone, Arizona. So it would be quite strange if it was named after Oklahoma. All right. Yeah. Tour dates coming up. I'll be in La Jolla at the Comedy Store, September 18 through 20. Fairbanks, Alaska, and three or four different venues, September 30th through October 3rd.

Batavia, Illinois, at the Comedy Vault, October. 15 through 17. Then I'm coming to Toronto and Phoenix. All tickets at fits dog.com. Also want to shout out the great Gotham production studios for putting this show from our mouths to your ears, basically. And also one of our sponsors this week is Zock Doc. You want to talk about Zock, Mike? We've talked about Zock, Doc.

It's like, you know, listen, putting off a doctor's appointment, it's incredibly easy, especially when making the appointment means sitting on the phone, getting transferred around, or waiting for someone to call you back. It's not easy at all. In fact, I'm in the middle of that right now. I'm supposed to do this follow-up, but I extended my stay here on the East Coast. Oh boy, when you try to move an appointment, that's when it gets really interesting. So that's why we're sponsored by Zoc Doc. Zococ, lets you search and compare local in-network doctors. The website is reviews from real patients and detailed doctor profiles so you can look through your options and choose the doctor who feels right for you. You can also see actual appointment openings.

Oh, that's the best. And click to instantly book a visit without the phone anxiety or the endless game of phone tag. Your health matters and take care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with Zokdoc. head to Zocdoc.com slash papers to get started and check that appointment off your to do list. That's ZOC, doc, dot com slash papers. Yeah, here's the one I got the other day while on the phone with my health insurance provider.

I'm on hold and then the lady goes, press one, if you'd like me to call you back. It's like, what are you, my cousin? now we're like exchanging numbers and I'll get I'll call you hey let me call you back no pick up the phone is this how it goes with your cousin oh I got a whole story about that uh surf shark uh think about how much of your life is exposed online there's this great show about this by the way that zach is in right now on Netflix yeah and uh every time you go to a website every time he use public Wi-Fi, you're leaving a digital trail. For instance, I was recently at the airport, and I logged on, and I was looking up when Bruce

Springsteen is touring again, and then I put on my Spotify radio, and it started playing Bruce Springsteen. So, was that a coincidence? I don't think so. They are mining. Here's a new thing they want to do, too, is they want to do. is they want to use your car's brain, what do you call it, the electronics in your car to record if you're speeding,

if you're slamming on the brakes, and it will send that information to your insurance company who will then raise your rates based on your driving. I mean, is this George Orwell here? Are you kidding me? They'll also try to get out of pain. Surf Sharks and all-in-one cybersecurity suite that helps protect your connection, personal information, and devices. At its core, it encrypts your connection, making your online activity harder to track.

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It's completely risk-free with their 30-day money-back guarantee. Go to surfshark.com slash Sunday or use code Sunday at checkout to get four extra months of Surfshark. Again, that's surfshark.com slash Sunday. S-U-N-D-A-Y. They literally write that out for me to say in case people don't know how to smell Sunday or use code Sunday at checkout. You can also find the link

at the top of today's episode description. Do you have paper to crinkle Mike Gibbons? Oh, boy. Let's see. I probably could get a piece of paper out of my backpack. Do you have one sitting? Hold on. Maybe like a bill from a plumber or an electrician?

I'll give you. Yeah, right? Here. I got it. All right, good, good, good. Hold on. I got my notebook that I'm writing jokes in this week. I decided to crack a fresh notebook and fill it with three pages a day. You can deal with one less page in your joke.

All right, here's a crinkle. That's a good one. Front page. Front page. From page. Humanoid robot fights back after man pushes it in store. footage from an electronics store recorded a humanoid robot fighting back after a man tried to push it. It's probably the first time we've seen a robot attempt to defend itself. Did you see this, by the way?

Did you see the video? I sent you the link. Oh, my God. It's crazy. It breaks into full karate pose and it's going to kicks and punches. Yeah. The man in the gray polo, it says as you can see in this footage, if you Google humanoid robot, fights back, you'll find it.

It was introduced, the guy in the Great Pole is introduced to the robot by an apparent employee of the store. The man attempts to shake the robot's hand, which is not reciprocated. After his hand is rejected, the man pushes the bot's shoulder. I would not have done that.

The black-shirted employee appears to touch the back of the robot, and either the android organically responds to this touch, or the worker presses a button, that puts the pot into fight mode. After this, the robot enters a fighting stance and attempts several kicks in the direction of the guy who pushed him.

The black-shirted employee is aided by a third man who runs and blocks the robot until they can stop it. It is, thankfully, kind of awkward footage. It looked like you and I dance. It's very, very stiff still. But this is at like kind of, I imagine, a Radio Shack type store. So this is the last time we're going to like chuckle at how a robot fights, I think. Exactly.

Yes. And I don't know where the robot was manufactured, but with that kind of temper, I'm guessing Italy. It had tattoos. But then maybe. But yeah. But then also. like with the karate moves, maybe it was built in Japan. I don't know.

I think it drives a car that you have. You don't see a lot of Italians in Japan. Yes. It drives your muscle car. I would bet on that. Yeah. Smokes. Definitely smokes.

Very jealous of its robot girlfriend. Who has a little robot mustache and gets super jealous of that guy at the radio shack. Yeah, exactly. All right. Oh, Dickie sent us this story. Oh, a New Mexico man is accused of fatally shooting his cousin after the two men argued about whose green chili enchiladas were spicier. Irvin Joaquin Gutierrez 22 was arrested and charged with one count of open murder. I've never heard of what's open murder mean? I don't know. It's better than closet.

Gutierrez is accused of shooting Gutierrez is accused of shooting Nathaniel Cavazzo Cavazos, 25. Gutierrez had come to cook dinner with Cavazzo's. An argument broke out when Gutierrez began antagonizing him,

claiming that the chili and his enchiladas was too hot. Police said the men had been drinking at the apartment and Caravis Kazavaros, allegedly bloodied Gutierrez with a punch. And then Gutierrez drew a handgun and confronted his cousin shouting, we're family, we're family.

How could you do this to me? Gutierrez allegedly shot him several times. So. Look what she made me do. Ah, come on, we're family. Right in the left tit. Oh, my God. Look at us.

Look what we think of takes his right arm. What are we doing? This is not how family acts. Boom, right in the thigh. Yeah. It's like a couple of cousins down in Kentucky going at it in the shed behind the house going, look what we're family. Look what you made me do with them big old titties. And I got to say the only thing worse than a night in jail is a night in jail when you have diarrhea from your cousin's ancelotas.

That was a long one. That's not good for anyone. Maybe you'll even be left alone. Maybe that's like maybe that is a strategy. Oh, that's the key. Just have the dirtiest a-hole in the whole clank, you know? Yeah, I would just start on the way to, on the way to the jail, I'd start scarfing down some of that iceberg lettuce from Ralph's.

Yeah, the cilantro. This does sound like a closeted murder, not an open murder. These two guys having dinner together. Yeah, right. Yeah. My cousin just texted me yesterday, and it was so great because I'm not in touch with him that much, and we're this exact same age, grew up together, and it's a super great guy, and we just texted back and forth yesterday for a while.

And, you know, I got to say my cousins, I'm still really close to almost all of them. I got super lucky with, and I have a lot of them. I have like 19 or 20 cousins. They're all on your mom's side. Isn't that true? Oh, you're freezing. Oh, man. Every single one of them.

I don't have, I've never met a Fitzs. The only Fitzsimmons I ever met in my life was my father's brother who died childless. So Owen owns the family name at this point. He's the only Fitzsimmons left that can pass on the name. All right. Yeah, I know your mom. There's tons of them. White House website.

now has a computer game. I really thought this was a joke, and I was really hoping it was a joke, and I believe it's not a joke. The White House website now has computer games where users arrest immigrants. The White House official website has launched a portal of politically themed games in which players can detain and shut out migrants. A series of five games have been uploaded onto a new arcade in the the Trump administration's latest chilling method to trivialize and popularize the president's political priorities. Players can keep immigrants out in Build the Wall, a knockoff version of the game Tetris,

in which the objective is to sort falling pieces into a pile. The new Trump version features green and orange alien-like characters, which approach the grid in a zombie border siege, that's in quotes, renamed. the southern border in a bid to penetrate it. Okay, there's another game, Rio Run, where gamers are tasked with arresting migrants in a snake-style game in which asylum seekers attempting to cross at the Rio Grande

must be stopped from escaping. When a player catches a migrant, they throw them around in an orange jumpsuit in a growing line. Another bizarre game entitled Supply. fly line, this is nuts, involves players sorting between healthy and unhealthy school lunches on the continuous conveyor belt to make America healthy again. There's also a mini game entitled Flappy Bill, in which players attempt to fly a bald eagle

down the national mall while avoiding obstacles. Those games sound fine. A White House official told CNN the arcade was about contrasting the culture of fun and winning and the dark socialist vision Democrats have for America. There you have it. It is dark. How about this? How about a game? How about like a Pac-Man game where an orange blob chases crypto coin and swaps them out with digital pardons?

I like that one. How about an island where you save children from politicians and billionaires? I like a game with an island where you where, yeah, you really are a hero saving children from predators. And you get a list. And then you can go hunt down the names on the list. That would be a good game. Right. But it's very hard to hunt them down because the game redacts the actual names and it only lists the victim's names.

How about a game where you defend national parks from billionaires buying big parts of it? So you set up walls. That's good. Yeah, you get a lot of arms and you fight back. That's a good one. All right. We could do this all day. We sure could.

A candidate for the Missouri State House is accused of trying to plant cocaine and Adderallel. on a political rival. First of all, do you have to plant Adderall on anybody at this point? I mean, isn't Adderall just like a cup of coffee for America? I know. Thomas Christopher Ross is charged

with one count of conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance after the person who authorities say he asked to plant the drugs contacted authorities. He tried to plant them on his opponent. Louise Secker last month. The former campaign manager gave local police a black nylon glove that Ross is alleged to have provided in June.

The glove contained a small bag of cocaine and Adderall. Joplin reached out to the FBI, told authorities that he wanted them planted in Sucker's car or purse while she was on vacation in South Carolina. and a series of texts alleged to have been sent to the campaign manager while he offered the campaign manager luck getting the substance of the matter sorted this week and later said, any luck with the substance of matter, I won't be gone much longer.

I just love how clever he is. Like substance of the matter. Jurors will never connect that to controlled substance. No. Like, did you put the code? Coca-Cola on the other candy, candy dates? Getting this substance of the matter snorted this week. That's what he meant to light.

I think it's a typo. Oh, my God. Well, why would she go on vacation without her cocaine? It makes no sense. The timing is horrible. Yeah, I don't know what politicians are getting up to these days, but I miss the old days where Gary Hart would get an eight ball and Donna. What was her name?

Who is the girl he had on his boat? Donna. No. What was it? Donna. I forget. But wait, do you know, do you know that was like a, I think someone told me that was all planned? Like he didn't even want to take a photo.

There was something like that. I'm not saying the guy was totally clean, but that that picture was orchestrated, I think. I think. Yeah, because the girl, wait, Gary Hart, Donna. She ended up becoming really big on the Howard Stern show. Yeah, Donna Rice.

You're right. Yeah, I was right. She ended up coming on Howard Stern show a lot, and she kind of blew up. Oh, wow. All right. Yeah.

All right, let's get to the ethical question. Let's do it. It's your turn. It's my, well, it's your turn, really. It's my turn to ask questions, but you're in the hot seat, my friend. Let's see what kind of morality you have in your beautiful New England atmosphere. So here's one. You got a boss.

Let's say you've got a boss. I don't like it already. You're the head writer on a network sitcom. You're making a lot of money. And then there's a studio boss who's a dude. and he is sexually harassing you. He closed the door in your office. He puts his hand on your leg.

He gives you back rubs, tries to kiss you. And then you, is it ethical for you to then blackmail him into keeping your job and maybe, not even getting a raise, just keeping your job, and not giving you notes on episodes that you don't want to take.

So this is fascinating. I imagine you made this up. Yeah. So Greg's ethical question is, is blackmail ethical? Well, if he's committing a crime in the first place, aren't you just answering with another crime? And that's ethical. Well, that's the question put to you, Mike Gibbons.

So wait a minute, he's not getting what are you. I assume I'm not blowing the guy. Can I assume that? Have I said no? No, but you're you're very uncomfortable with the advances that he's making and he's not taking no for an answer. And it seems to be increasing. So I have proof, obviously. I somehow recorded him or I'm able to prove these advances.

happened. Yes. Yes. You have audio recordings. Yeah. So, no, listen, of course it's not ethical. They answer the question. But it does, I guess, get interesting. I mean, now I'm as, you know, I'm down in the mud with this guy, though, ethically and morally. But I would hope. And physically. I would hope that I would ask for more. if I have the goods on them and I'm going to go that way, right? I'm at, would you? No, what I'm saying is, as long as I'm going to do this, I'm just, what, preserving my job,

which really seems like it would only be really jeopardized. I mean, if I'm doing a good job and everything, it would only be jeopardized because now I've brushed back as advances. This has happened to women a bazillion times. And now, though, it's uncomfortable to have me around. And I've also rejected him. So there's some retaliatory nature to it. So he would let me go.

So I'm protecting against that. So it seems like I've gained nothing. All I'm doing is saying, hey, you can't retaliate against me for turning you down. No, look, the head of the studio is always going to give you notes that are bad. It's your show. And their notes are hurting the show. and you start to say you don't give me notes anymore

and I don't let people know that you've been sexually harassing me. That would be a great story, imagine that. You know, I heard a story this week that Twin Peaks, people really criticize season two and then I guess there was a third kind of one which was a different type of show.

But anyway, and it turned out that the network forced David Lynch and I should know the other name and I'm sorry I don't. David Lynch and the other creator of it they forced them to reveal who killed Laura Palmer and it undid

everything they wanted to do everything they wanted to plan David Lynch David Lynch distanced himself from the production was way more and so did the other guy the other guy even like created another show I heard that and I never knew that

Damn. Yeah. Wow. Imagine that executive or executives. They're still walking around out there, knowing what they know now, that they are the, they're the example of what, like, what is wrong with Hollywood TV. Yeah. Yep. Someone should write a book about all those instances.

So anyway, yeah, I go to the guy. Here's the second one I'll give you. All right. You are, so you're a girl. You grew up in Long Island. You have a big nose. And it's your sweet 16. And as a lot of girls from Long Island get on their sweet 16, she gets a nose job.

She goes through her life. She meets a very nice guy. She's 30 now. They settle down. He proposes. At any point, does she have an obligation to tell him that she has. had a nose job. I think when they're about to procreate, maybe.

I mean, not really. Obligation's a strong word. Yes. But I think when it's like, where did that come from? I mean, I think she should own up to it, I think. Is she, do you think maybe she, this is how she should do it. This is how she should do it. She should deliver it while she tells the guy.

She also had three abortions. in Ron Concoma. Yeah. Not only do we get rid of the bridge of my nose. We got rid of the fruit of my loin. Yeah. We lost a few noses along the way. So I think Kylie Jenner has a long talk coming up with Timothy Chamoulet.

I love when you say Shamillay. All right. Entertainment, pal. All right. Let's skip that and get right down to. to make America, Florida. All right, Florida man arrested for indecent exposure says he was filming only fans' content.

We're in St. Pete. Florida man was arrested after a witness said he exposed himself in a park. The man later claimed he was filming content for only fans. An arrest affidavit shows the incident happened Saturday afternoon. Witness saw the suspect. You left out the name of the town. It was in Pinellas County Sheriff's Office, which is an anagram for penis, Pinellas.

I didn't see that. Got it. Penelis. It's like Lou Pinnas, Lou Pinnela. Yeah. A witness reported seeing the suspect who's 40 at a pavilion masturbating with his penis outside of his pants. When approached by the witness, he reportedly apologized and waited for law enforcement to arrive. He admitted to having his generals exposed and said he was only, he was making content for only fans. So this reminded me, I don't know if it was Regal.

Is that the comedian's name in New York? Greg Rogel. Rogel. I don't want to give him credit. But sadly, I can't remember the comedian. But some comedian had a bit, which is pornography is legal, including making pornography. Let's say you're in the San Fernando Valley in California. prostitution, however, is illegal.

So if the police ever come in and you're with a prostitute, you just have to yell, cut, and then have a camera on a tripod in the room and then yell at the police for blowing your expensive shot. That sounds Rogelish. I like that. It's kind of, it is a clever way, like, and this guy is kind of doing that. Well, I don't think you can shoot porn at a pavilion in a park. I agree.

But I think he, yeah. But it is only fans and it is Florida. So this guy, I'm guessing he had on flip-flops. He could have easily just videotaped his feet. I don't need, I don't think the penis had to be out. I think Florida should change his name just only Florida. Yeah. Yeah, was he apologizing to his penis or to the girl who saw it?

I think to all his fans. A witness. It doesn't say. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. All right. We're going to make America.

Let's do Florida again. Yeah, there we go. We're working through our little audio delay here. Florida man arrested for smashing up Arby's weeks after leaving prison for hunting swans for food. A deranged Florida man was busted for smashing up in Arby's. with a metal pipe, less than a month after getting out of prison for killing a helpless swan. By the way, swans are not helpless because he was hungry.

This 34-year-old guy was released last month after serving just under a year. What? In Florida, he served almost a year for killing a swan. Anyway, then he went to the, he went to the Arbys in Orlando. That must be a real treat. And he had told a horrified witness who confronted him. that he killed the bird for my food. He then said as he was being cuffed by cops,

I was hungry, so I hunted. Anyway, at the Arby's, he was arrested this time for smashing the window, terrifying a female employee before he marched next door to bash a Dunkin' Donuts sign. This guy, I think if he can't get his game naturally, he resents chains. That's what's going on.

here that sell food. Yeah, well, you know, look, after Arby's, you want to go get a cup of coffee. You know, this is, this is a, you know, a day in Florida. But I think, I think this guy, how is it that in our society, we have gone from being hunter-gatherers to not being allowed to hunt? The guy is hungry. The bird is game. You're in Florida. How is that a crime? And they like on a serious level. How is it that a homeless person can't kill food for himself? The bird is game. You make it sound like the bird's into it.

Yeah, the bird's game. The bird was game, Your Honor. It's, you know. Look it up. Maybe it's because it was a swan and it used to be an ugly duckling and it had come so far. Yeah, yeah. So are we doing sports? All right, let's, no, let's get down to this day in history.

Oh, man, you're putting me on the spot. Okay, it's a good one, I think. I glanced at it. Well, you said, you said you wanted a short, you said you wanted a short show today, and our audio is so fucked up. There's, there's so much freezing going on. I apologize to the listeners. It might be me, because normally I see you freeze.

So, I don't know. but we apologize to everybody. But here we go. You're ready, Greg? Give or take 50 years. When was Los Angeles founded? Spanish settlers laid claim to what became Los Angeles. Now the second most populous U.S. city, what year, give or take 50 years?

Well, I know California became a state in the 1800s, mid-1800s because there was the gold rush. And the Spanish were already here, so it was before that. I'm going to go back. I'm going to go way back. I'm going to go 1525. 1781. Oh, I should have stuck with my original logic. Yeah, something happened along the way.

I gave you 50 years. Beyonce, give her take four years. She was born on this day in what year? I would guess Beyonce is younger than me. She's got kids that are now like 20. So she probably had them when she was 35. So she's probably 55. I'm going to say she was born in 1976.

Nope, you didn't get it even with the four years. You think Beyonce's 55? Well, she's got like 20-year-old kids, right? Did she have them that young? She was born in 1981. How many years did you give me? Four years. Oh, all right, that was five.

All right. I'll give myself that. Give her take three years. When did Joan Rivers die? When did she die? I did an episode of her TV show in bed with Joan where I actually got into bed with Joan and she interviewed me. And that would have been going back a good 12.

years. So I'm going to say she died in 2017. How many years did I give you? I think I gave you three. I think I gave you three years. If so, you're right, 2014. I might have given you two years. Anyway, I'm giving you that one.

Oh, I heard this guy's cameraman interviewed, and he went step by step, what happened with the stingray? But give her take five years. When did Steve Irwin die from a venomous bull stingray? Well, Norm McDonald famously made the joke on the Daily Show about it soon after it happened. John Stewart was the host. So I would say that was a good... 12 years ago.

So let's say 2014. Nope. 2006. No. Yeah. Wow. You know, the cameraman kind of, I mean,

seemed to me to implicate himself. He kind of talked about him. they interacted with the stingray. Then the stingray settled on the ground. Did you ever hear this interview? No. Or details.

Okay, so the stingray then settled, which is like it goes on the surface, it goes on the sand, and it kind of like semi-buries itself, right? And it's just very placid then. So he had said to Steve, okay, what we'll do is now we'll get the first shot. And everything we just shot will be, you know, come after.

So the first shot, why don't you come up behind the stingray, just like float in and come in like over it? Already that sounds so troublesome to me, but that's what they did. So Steve then gets behind the stingray. The cameraman's in front and they're down like and Steve's few feet above the stingray. And Steve swims and then comes to a stop and hovers above the stingray. probably with his stupid childish grin, right? And his big eyes, regardless, he stops there. The stingray, according to the guy, must have thought he was a tiger shark and freaked.

And immediately violently, the tail went up and it started jabbing like crazy. And there was like the camera couldn't see anything. There was sand everywhere. commotion and then he was bleeding like crazy and they got him in the boat and he he talked to him and he actually told the cameraman he's like I'm dying and they were like rushed for help and all this stuff yeah oh god so did you get stung by a stingray huh have you ever been stung by a stingray it happened out on the beach I think you guys have I think Owen definitely has in the guy just said to me oh and definitely has he's like do you live close

because all the lifeguards have hot water that they bring around. And I go, yeah, I live right over there. And he goes, if you can make it back there, and I did, I just hobbled. He goes, the key is using hotter water than we have. You want to put your foot, wherever the, wherever the sting is, in the hottest water you can tolerate, which will break up the enzymes or whatever it is of the poison and hopefully expel it also out of the,

wound. So that's what I did and it kind of worked. Yeah, Owens got infected and he, he hobbled around for like 10 days and then he finally went in and they had to, they had to remove, a doctor had to cut them open and remove the stinger, was in there. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah. So I really want to go in the ocean right now because it's like, you know, 75, 80 degrees, but that's when the stingrays come in and they they come in shallow. So here's advice. First of all, of course, you know all about the shuffle, the stingray shuffle. Not as good as the Chicago Bear shuffle, but the stingray shuffle.

But the other thing I do, a little cheat code, go to where all the kids are. You do that anyway at the beach because they're in bathing suits. But go to where the sand's already been kicked up like crazy and they've been annoyed out of the area. Oh, I like that. That's good. It is good. That's like always walk down the street in a bad neighborhood near old ladies because they're, they're fodder. They're going first.

They can't run as fast as you. I get that. That's very smart. I like it. All righty, paly. Let's get to the obituaries. Oh, yeah. All right.

Well, we'll get to Gloria Steinem in one sec, but I saw a headline today, Cassandra Wilson. She was a Grammy-winning jazz vocalist, and she died at 70s. So that was a weird one for me because I went to Jazz Fest. I used to go there a lot. I probably went to five of them or something. And I remember once you're walking around, you're on drugs, there's two main stages. It's out of a horse track. There's two main stages at either ends of the horse track.

And then in between there's a New Orleans Jazz Festival. Yeah, New Orleans Jazz Festival. And so Jazz and Heritage Festival, I think. So anyway, and then there's a lot of tents and states. in between and food in the infield and it's a very, very big, big infield. So there's a gospel tent, all that. So I remember once just on drugs walking alone, I like got separated from my, maybe they were watching like Dave Matthews or something very popular was on one end.

So I'm like, I'm not going to watch Dave Matthews here. So I walk alone into the jazz tent and I had to do one of those things where it's like, is this because I'm on drugs or is she this good? And I basically then turned to a guy really enjoying it next to me. I'm like, she's something else, huh? He's like, oh, do you not know about her? And she was really new. And boy, the New York Times fucking adored her.

And it was Cassandra Wilson. So this felt so weird to me. And I knew she couldn't have been that old. She was older, you know, she's older than us by 10 years. years, but it's like, oh, man, what happened? You know, that bummed me out. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, good response. Anyway, moving on to Gloria Steinem at the ripe old age of 92, trailblazing journalists and activists, starting in the 60s at a time when women were largely limited to domestic roles. Steinem changed gender stereotypes and championed feminist ideals like equality, sisterhood, and especially, I would say, reproductive freedom. In doing so, she inspired generation. of women to do the same. Today, she's a household name that is synonymous with the women's rights

movement. I think I told you guys on a text chain, my experience, we were not supposed to win an Emmy for Carpo karaoke. The year we were nominated, it was a primetime special. It's a prime time Emmy. We were up against Beyonce's Lemonade, like, music film. And so anyway, so we just, just get drunk. And we're there at the Emmys to have a good time. No one's prepared a speech. No one's done anything. We are losing. We win. And the presenters who announced that we won were RuPaul and Gloria Steinem. And so we all are shocked. We stumble. We don't even have good seats. We get out. We walk down the aisle. We get up on stage. And all of like, you know, my coworkers go to the microphone, I walk straight up to Gloria Steinem while the applause is still going on and music is playing. And I just

tell her, I grew up in an apartment with a single mom in the 70s and her magazine was everywhere and that she just meant the world to my mom. And I also grew up so influenced by that and by feminism in the 70s. And I just really, despite this setting, I just really needed to tell you that. And she thanked me graciously. And then it became awkward. Not only did the music stop and the speeches behind me were about to start, but I realize I'm in a huddle with she and RuPaul. And RuPaul's just staring at me. So I just tap RuPaul on the shoulder. I go, and you're great too. And then walk over to where we're. Yeah, that's hilarious.

Yeah. He's like, thank you. Well, I mean, the thing that was amazing about her was that she was not what you'd picture as your typical feminist icon. You know, she was gorgeous. She was brawless. She was outspoken. She was eloquent. She didn't back down from fights with men. You know, whether it was Bobby Riggs or any of these like day, these talk shows she'd go on at night.

She was great. She always won. She was, you know what it was? You could just tell how goddamn smart she was. She just also had a very, I mean, you went to sexy and brawless. She also just had an incredibly intelligent face. And then you would see her debate or you'd see her articulate her points, which it's shocking to think how. foreign they were at the time. I mean, obviously, there were a lot of women writing about it and doing

it at the same time, but it was new generally, a new way of thinking. And she was really good at it. And she started her career. Do you know how she started her career? She couldn't get, women did not get good stories. And she was a writer, you know, a journalist. So she went undercover at the Playboy Club as a bunny. And she was. wrote about all of the, you know, because Hugh Hafferner would always claim that it was an empowering place for women. And then she went and talked about how ripped off they got and how disgusting the men treated them. And she won a big award for it. And it kind of, it gave her such a big name that she was able to start her own magazine. The pictures didn't hurt either.

Hey now. Hey now. All right. Let's get, let's cheer up. Let's cheer up right now. Want to do a crinkle, Greg? Let's go to the funnies. All right, so every week we play the captions, the comedy captions captions captions contest. Jesus, come on, Greg. Get it together. The flood will fix itself in your yard.

So last week's contest is there's a little kid robot. He walks into the bedroom of his parents who are laying there in the dark. And the kid says, uh, what? You gave us some punchlines. We picked the best ones. We read them now. The winner will get a prize.

to be determined later. Right now it's for the love of the sport. So Sean's submission is, Mom, Dad, can I please stay up and watch batteries not included? Okay. Yeah. Matt says, Mom, why are you asking Dad to ram you? Capital R-A-M?

Yeah, a little computer terminology, sure. Big Stu said, Mom, Dad, am I refurbished? No, it says refurnished. Is that a typo? Oh, I think he meant refurbished. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt because I think that's a good one. Kenny Engel said, sorry, but I used the last of the WD 40. And who's saying that to whom?

That would help. Sorry, son, maybe? That was my problem with that joke. Yeah. It's flawed. And then Cameron said, honey, can't you see your father sleeping? He had a long day at the data center taking jobs away from humans. Nice.

A little jab, nice. You lefty, Cameron, you fucking lefty. And then finally, Phil McCrack and says, hey, mom, where is the robot repair man? Ah! Good read. A lot. That's what it says. in all caps.

I don't think the sun would ever be looking for the repair man is my thing with that. I like refurbished even though we had to spell it correctly from Big Stu. Big Stu, congratulations. You're the winner of this week's comedy caption contest. Pat on the back. All right, let's get to the. Oh, next week's is an egg sitting in therapy with a female therapist. He's a giant egg.

They're both sitting in armchairs facing each other. he's speaking. An egg in therapy. Go. How about this, everybody? Skip the he's cracking up. Let's get to the pros. HaG.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's take that off the table. Yeah. And don't say anything about making a yoke about this cartoon. And then we've got Hager and Lucky. They're sitting at the

Blue Spot Club at a table with a couple of drinks. And off camera or off frame, you hear, you can say my voice is awful or my songs are too risque. And Hager goes, wow, I've never seen or heard a singer like her. And the next frame we see that it's, is that Betty Boop? Is that who that cartoon character is? Yeah, it's Betty Boop.

And she goes, oh, but don't take my boop. Oop-Doop away. And then Lucky goes, she's ahead of her time with little hearts coming across his head. And, Crossover. I mean, as a woman in medieval days, wearing a micro-short dress,

do you want to be doing risque songs? Isn't just being in the room with these animals risque enough? Yeah. Betty Boops, like, couldn't you have sent me to the future? Right. Yeah.

All right, the lock horns. We've got Leroy is leaning against the bar at a party. He's speaking to a guy. He's pontificating. His finger is in the air. And Loretta says to her friend, Leroy thinks he's deep, but he's actually wide.

Eh, not their best. I really like the drawing, though. Not their best. Yeah, good drawing. You want some onions? And then you got an onion? Yeah. Oh, man, man, do I got some onions.

Oh, boy, where'd they go? Oh, I like them. So hold on. Let me find them that way. Here we go. Here we go. We got Gloria Steinem, a picture of her at a microphone. And it's her obituary headline in The Onion.

Gloria Steinem, researcher who discovered existence of women dead at 92. It's kind of funny. That's good. And then kind of another, kind of another, not really, tell them we're not really with this delay and everything. but here we go. We're finishing up. Another feminist-related, or about women anyway. A onion headline, you see a female camper on the trail with a down jacket and a backpack,

and it says women's, woman's solo hiking trip, shockingly, doesn't have to do with inner journey or anything. I like that one. I was thinking about that with women, about how, I mean, I mean, not to be one of those comics that goes men and women are different, but I really do think women need there to be heart. They need there to be a journey. They need to have a job that, you know, has heart to it. And men just grind.

They just need to get it done and they can get shitty things done. I'm seeing my, I agree with you. I'm seeing my connection. Can you hear me? Yeah. This is bad. Yes, just barely. Let's wrap this out.

It's my wife. It's one of our worst podcast ever. If you made it this far, folks, we award you a coozy. All right, let's get to Blondie and Dagwoodie sitting on a chair. She is, she's got on a white tank top and a mauve skirt. And she says, you always seem to eat more when you watch cooking shows. And he goes, I can't help it. Watching cooking shows always makes me hungry.

It's the power of suggestion. And she goes, really? And then she goes, maybe you should watch more home improvement shows, dear. Oh, no. No, I think we need, I think we know what he needs to be watching. Only fans. Yeah. The Florida guy in the gazebo.

Yeah. Right. All right, let's wrap it out. Thank you guys for listening, watching, whatever it is that you do. Don't forget to support our sponsors Zok, Doc, and Surf Shark. Links to all that stuff is in the bio. And I guess we'll talk to you guys later.

Yeah, I mean, our internet took it each. So everybody, you take it ish. Happy Labor Day. Happy Labor Day. Take itish. All right, bye-bye. You're only hearing this because they need a song. Sunday papers and the facts are often wrong.

You're only hearing this because they need a song. We're only hearing this because they need a song. Greg and Mike are pals who always get along. You're only hearing this because they need a song. You're only hearing this because they need a song. Mike's got the cooosies and he's had them all along. You're only hearing this because they need a song.

You're only hearing this because they need a song. The world's completely fucked but they're having fun. You're only hearing this because they need a song This because they need a song Take it each And now they both are gone You're only hearing this because they need a song