supermegashow - British Possession | supermegashow - 117

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

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And so Mama Justice is like, can you pick up like a greeting card or like some thank you card, grab dinner, pick up the kids from school and it cuts to Big AJ. Just AJ. Okay, AJ, the bald one. It cuts to him and he's listening over the phone and there's text and it goes, what dad is hearing. And it's her voice, but instead of saying, you know, pick up the card, pick up the kids from school. and grab dinner and stuff. It's her voice going. It's her voice saying,

grab some steak and then grab some steak and then grab a chocolate chip chunk cookie and then grab some steak. So like the only thing that he's hearing is like grab some steak in cookies but she is telling him like to do chores but he's not hearing it. And I just think that it's, it's,

It's funny. And I also, oh, it reminds me, I have this, Elon told a joke on Joe Rogan, like, a few months back or something that was pretty good that I also got to show you. Or I could just tell you the joke. Okay, so like, there's this economist. I was like, are you going to do, all right, like, how much of the economist joke you're going to do? Sure.

Does the economist not eat poop? No, he doesn't eat poop. He, listen, listen. So there's, there's an economist. There's two economists and he's walking and he sees a pile of shit. And then he eats it. No, he doesn't eat it. He goes there.

He sees a pile of shit and he goes, he goes, how much, how much money would, what have he eat that pile of shit? And I probably just told it better than he did. Are you sure no one eats the poop? Positive, no one eats the poop. No, he's going to pay him. And where's the punchline then if no one eats the poop? I'm telling you, like, I'll play it for you after the podcast.

It's pretty good. I mean, I probably got it wrong. I mean, we can listen to it right now and see. I'd rather not. Real Ryan came out. Real Ryan came out and said, I don't want to sit through two minutes of Elon stumbling through trying to tell a joke that makes no sense. Like when someone's possessed and the, like, the true essence of them gets to speak for a little bit, you know, the demons, like, acting as you. Right, right.

But then you get to come out like, don't believe in them. And then the demons like, sorry. I don't know. I think I had a dream and I don't know what's going on. That was weird. And then you're just kind of like, hmm. But that sounded like the real you for a moment. No, no.

Exactly. Dude, do you think with like possessions there's ever any cases like that where because demons, whenever they possess people, they always got to put on that scary voice where it's like, but why not like, why not just some fuck? You're telling me there there's no demon out there that just has some normal fucking down to earth. Like, guys, come on. Don't worry. Like a British dude

How's it going, love? That actually is scarier than the... You gotta make it reverb because it's coming down the hallway. Oh, looks like someone's left some crisps for me. Fuck. What the fuck is going on? I fucked it up, didn't I?

Oh, I saw this then. Oh, I fucked it up. I was trying to be scary. Are you still scared? I mean, I'm a voice, and you don't know where I'm coming from? No, that would still scare the fuck out of me. Like, if I was a priest called into an exorcism, and I hear that down the hall,

and it was that whole little exchange where it's like, oh, well, I'm still scary, oh? I'm very scary. Oh, look, I can make my voice come close. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. You see, now I'm far from you, and now I can get closer. Watch, now I can get closer to you like this.

It's like, oh, oh, yeah, love? You like that? It would scare the shit out of me. That'd be scary. Because, like, if I was a priest going to do an exorcism, I've done this a thousand. thousand times. It's like, I'm going to walk into the room. There's going to be a little girl in the bed. You can do it with your eyes closed. Yeah, and it's like, let me guess. It's going to be a scary voice.

You're going to walk on the ceiling. You're going to, you're going to vomit some sort of bile or split pea soup. Yeah, exactly. You know, you're going to, what, you're going to turn your head 360 degrees and then go, eh. No, I've seen it all before. You're going to divorce Dale. Just, that's what a demon would do. And it is what a demon did in 2018. A good southern boy. A good old boy like Dale. Dude, how's he thriving with without that ass anymore?

I'm kidding. I don't know, man. I should ask him. Like, Dad, how you doing these days without that fucking fat ass of moms? You miss it? You miss looking at me every day because she has your eyes. Well, you have her eyes technically. Yeah.

I have those blueberries, which my dad tries to claim I got from him. I did not get those blueberries from him. I got those blueberries from Ann. You certainly didn't get his penis. No, got my mom's penis. Well, actually, I mean, so you know how like with genetics there's all this.

I don't know if your mom had big dick energy and you didn't get like a big dick gene from like your mom. I'm wondering because certain things like, you know, always come from the father, certain things always come from the mother just with genetics. but I wonder if there's like the penis-sized gene, if that comes from... Well, sons get more genes from their mom, than they do from their dad. Is that true?

And daughters get more genes or... You know how a lot of sons end up looking more like their moms, and then a lot of daughters end up looking like their dad, so to speak? My sister is like way more my dad, and I'm way more my mom. I don't even look like my father. Funny. Who even knows? Who knows?

Yeah. I mean, my real dad could, I mean, Dale's my real dad, but I mean, who knows? You kind of look like Paul Walker, the rest of soul. I do look a lot. And your mom was a big Paul Walker fan back in the day. Back when she was 16, yeah. I don't even think. You're Bob's older than Paul Walker, I think.

Well, now she is. Well, yeah. R-IP. No, how old was Paul Walker? He was like 30-something when he passed. Yeah, so Ryan, my mom's death. My mom wasn't 30-something when he died. No, she was like 40-something, 50-something even, maybe even 70-something.

60-something. You know, she's not going to like that. So she could have been like an older fan of his work. I've been like, he's the hot cop from Fast and Furious movies. He's the guy that's hot. And he goes, hold up Matt. He says this line where he goes, forget about it, c. I've been thinking of saying that more.

I said, Dylan, don't worry about him, mom. You don't have to do that. I was like at the drive-thru. they forget something i'll just be like forget about it my mom started saying cah and she she didn't even know what it meant but she started saying it and around the same time my dad started saying another thing he learned from a different movie um i think birth of a nation was the movie well it's a favorite of his big favorite i haven't seen it i don't know what it's about but well you don't remember you used to he used to plop you down when yeah but again when

you're a kid like i don't remember the details of kid shows really that much especially at the time when I was like in pre-K. So those memories, not there. Dude, do you remember Zoom? Come on and Zoom. Come on and Zoom. Come on and Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Zoom, Zoom.

Zoom, Zoom. Are they saying Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. I think they're saying Zoom, but they're throwing an extra syllable in there just for good measure. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, ma, zoom. Because it makes it all fun and jive. Jive's not the word.

Out of the box, t, out of the box. I never watched that. What's the one? I don't think it's out of the box What's the one where they They go into a car Is it is out of the box The one where they go into like a cardboard box

And it's like a fun little playery inside And it's like a big old place Probably I didn't I never watched it though That show was pretty cool just for that aspect But then SpongeBob stole the idea When SpongeBob gets a box And then those noises start I will say as a kid

I was very frustrated that I didn't get to see The imagination going on But I know that was the point It was like it was Squidward's POV I get that, but as a kid, I was like, I felt, well, because it was from Squidward's POV, it made me feel like Squidward of being like, I'm missing out on all this fun. I only see what Squidward sees, which is just a box. And for anyone who doesn't know, there's this SpongeBob SquarePants episode that aired back in the early 2000s. Spongebob gets a new TV or something like that. Someone gets a new TV. I think Squidward might get a new TV or Patrick. Someone gets a new TV. Someone gets a new television, yeah. And they throw the TV. A new TV. I think Squidward might get a new TV or Patrick. Someone gets a new television. And they throw the TV. TV in the trash and take the box because the box is truly what they wanted. And so, stay with me here. You start, they start going inside the box and Squidber starts getting jealous going, why are they, sure? I get to enjoy this TV and they only have that stupid box. They're dumb. Why'd they let me have this TV and keep the box?

Well, lo and behold, he's hearing all these goofy sound effects, trains, cars, gunshots, other people coming from that box. Yeah, and when he opens inside. when he opens it, it's just SpongeBob and Patrick and no, like, tools. No? No, no, no cellular devices playing TikTok boom sound effects. Nope. No power tools, no crowd of people. Squidward's flummoxed.

He doesn't know, he doesn't know what's happening. Yeah. He's angry because he doesn't understand it. But eventually he gets some, that's the imagination episode, right? Imagination, the rainbow. There's a meme about it. Luke, throw up the meme. Dude.

But basically, out of the box, I didn't freaking watch it. You watch Zabumafu, though. Oh, I did, yeah. Of course. I killed him, too. I've told that story. Yeah. How back in 2014, I think, or whenever Zabumafu died, it was the day he died,

this is before the news broke, and I had never, I hadn't thought of Zubimafu in years. And I was like, man, whatever happened to Zabumafu? Is he still alive? You think he's still alive? And then later that day, the news broke that he died. And I was like... You cast some sort of carmic spell on him. I did.

If I hadn't questioned that, he'd probably still be alive today. Talking and singing and dancing and... They just teach you about nature, right? It wasn't like... How to spell! It wasn't that dumbed down. It was like... It was like for middle schoolers.

No, it was for elementary schoolers. Yeah, it was for kids. But I remember... Okay. there was a real lemur. There was a real Zabumafoo, but then, like, for the bulk of the episode, it was like a puppet, right? That would talk. Right.

And then, like, they'd maybe bring out the real one at the end. You're forgetting the two dudes. No, I remember the two dudes. Dude one and dude two. They were the same guys that were in the Sonic commercials back in the day. Probably like Thomas and Aaron, you know, some sort of just white names. Yeah, yeah, totally. Lewis and Clark.

Lewis and Clark. Heroes of yours. Those are two white boy names. They don't really do anymore. You have their picture. well, you have a painting of them. I do. Right above my bed.

It's an interesting painting. Everyone has, everyone under their clothes is naked, Ryan. I don't know why it's... It just... I don't know why it's so weird to you. The art style is more akin to kind of like Newgrounds Rule 34 than an oil... I mean, it's still oil painted, but it's... Yeah, who says that every painting has to be an oil painting, like a beautiful fucking...

There are so many different art styles. You're right. You're right. I mean, take a look at a... goofy circus. You know, that's different than a lot of the stuff coming out. Well, now I'm imagining

how great an oil painting would be in the style of Goofy Circus. But it's the name of the show. It's Lewis and Clark as the great... What is the name of that show? The great amazing digital circus? The amazing digital circus?

Or just digital... I guess people short-handed to digital circus? It's the amazing. Okay. It's like one episode a year, some shit like that? Or it feels like that

to the family. I mean, it's a glitch show. I mean, look at, look at Ross O'Donovan. Game Averse episode two. When's that coming out? 2029. I know. Pilot episode. Why no co-pilot episode? Thank you. Microsoft co-pilot? AI? Paperclip? No, I wish. I wish they, honest, dude, I could so see them doing this. Couldn't you see them trying to like capitalize on nostalgia? But, you know, the youth nowadays, they're not, they're not really viving with Microsoft's whole AI. initiative so I could see them being like, we're bringing back Clippy. But this time it's, it's an AI assistant. Dude, I do love Clippy. Clippy was like a profile picture reward. I can't remember what it was like, there was like a Collie Duty Gears of War Halo, one of those games on Xbox where like you did something and you were able to get like Clippy as a little profile picture. Really? And I wanted it. And I think I got it. People always forget about, um, because Clippy was like the face of, of their little helper suite.

Yeah, but I never, did anyone ever actually use Clippy? I did. I did. Well, I did at school because I thought he was fun. Oh. But I don't know if, I mean, he didn't offer that much help. He'd just be like, looks like you're trying to write a letter. And you'd be like, yeah, I know how to write deer, whatever.

Clippy showed me porn for the first time. What? Just imagine. Looks like you're horny. Looks like you're trying to jack off. No, I'm just looking at, I'm just doing biology homework. Mm, Ryan. I was, what?

What? Big boobs is technically biology, but let me show you something you might like a little more than that. It's National Geographic. Hmm. Shows you gay porn for the first time. Did you know two men can I have sex? What? What?

What? There's a thought cloud and it shows like a socket and then a plug. And then a big poof and then two plugs going together and going, then it goes, and I'm like, Pat doesn't compute. That sounds like it. I mean, that could be a kid's show episode about like... About gay porn. Yeah, gay porn exists.

Did you know that? People can be gay and there's also gay porn. Yeah. It's not only people can be gay and it's okay theme. It's a also gay porn exists theme for some reason. Actually, it pays a lot more money than regular porn. I was about to say it's, it's, uh, there's a lot more money in the gay for pay realm. Even though I'm sure some people aren't even in the gay for pay.

just gay and they get paid. How about gay and pay, not gay for pay? Uh, it's funny you bring this up. Um, we don't need to talk about. No, not that. Not that. Um, on, on Saturday night, um, you and I, uh, and Tucker, I guess, we, we, we, he showed up in the line, like, doesn't really count. No, no, no, no, no. He showed up, uh, at the last minute, drove me home and we got Tommy's chili burgers. Did you? Yeah. Are they good? No. They make the, like, I think about it and I look at it. Dude, it's not good. Because I pass one on the way home and it's just

looks so gross. I don't understand why it's a Los Angeles staple where it's like, Tommy's is so fucking respected and you go there and it's just like here's a subpar burger that we have put probably three cups of chili on of flavorless hot chili.

And it's like a family that used to make meals for coal miners have continued this business and the way they make food up into like modern day. Back in the day, You come out of the coal mines after 12 hours. I'm sure it was delicious.

Oh, yeah, dude. A big old burger filled with chili? Oh, dude. You got black siddal over your face. You know, you're tired. That's good. When did the American hamburger, or I guess, like, when did the hamburgers, like, German? Hamburg, I'm guessing.

I never in my life connected the two. I'm guessing it has to be. So, like, I wonder when like the hamburger, where it's like buns, cheese, ketchup, when that was popular. popularized. Would that have been, you think, like, with McDonald's and... No, because, like, McDonald's used that to kind of propel themselves up. Probably, probably, like, mid-1900s, early 1900s? I'm almost like 1950s, because it seems like a white picket fence, you know... I don't see them in World War II eating cheeseburgers.

The dad's working, the moms at home and looking after the ten children type of... Right, and that's an easy meal to make. Of course. Burgers? Ten burgers for Papa? Don't get into that, man. And it was 12. It was Papa made 12 burgers for all six grandchildren. I was the only one that showed. But you and I, we went to a bar and we got some, we got some bevvies with Meat Canyon.

And before you got there, I was sitting outside talking to one of, one of Meekan's friends that I had just met. You know, we don't really know each other. We're just talking. Very nice guy, though. And this guy walks up and inserts himself into our conversation. This guy that was not part of our group or whatever. Guy had a bandana around his head. And he was like, hey, what's up guys? And I was like, hey, man, how's it going? And I don't even remember why he brought this up. There actually might not have even been a reason, but within the first minute of talking to us, he's like, yeah, you know, I used to do gay porn, you know, like kind of whispered it. And we were like, oh, all, cool. And he's like, yeah, gay for pay, you know.

Are you guys gay? And I was like, no, no, I'm straight. And he, he's like, oh, I don't know, you look gay. And I was like, thanks. Well, no, it's, I mean, to be fair, to be fair, you do look pretty gay. look pretty gay yeah he's like you look you know you have soft features and i was like and you're beautiful blues i know i know and he was like he was like he was like i'm straight but you know you you you both so good looking and i was like thanks man thanks and uh for about five minutes he he

went on about how he's not gay but he did do porn he did gay porn and we were really good looking and um you know i know a producer still if you're interested in making some extra money on the side wasn't it an ego raptor What? When I see Aaron around the corner like this, like, like, huck's behind the corner. Aaron! Always trying to get me to do gay porn.

Yeah, I mean, at first it was just homemade, you know, kind of like... That's still gay porn. Nobody would see. It would only be seen by, like, members. People who, like, pay the big dollars would be people who see that stuff to do. No one you know. Yeah, like, unless they're going to pay $200 a month for the premium package. I didn't know it was a GameGrum's Patreon thing.

So, yeah, everyone knew me. Aaron. Just go to ads. We'll be right back. Start your Alienware journey with the streamlined Alienware 15. They designed this machine to refine the essentials, creating a more focused gaming laptop for players who demand quality without the clutter. They designed a brilliant 15.3-inch 16.5 hertz display seamlessly into a portable 15-inch body.

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Thank you, Luke, for putting in those ads, although I will say you've never thanked us for reading them. That's true. Has he ever a single episode? He's been editing since Super Megacast episode 300. Has he ever after the ads paused everything, hopped on screen as himself and gone, Matt and Ryan, thank you for reading that. Not even impersonally.

No. I did the ads. I'll be like, cool. Yeah. You know? No thank you. He begs us all day.

He's like, you guys got to go record those ad reads. I have to email them off today. He's sitting there playing Magic the Gathering online. He's watching game grumps. He's watching the Tim Heidecker show and trying to show us clips consistently from it. I'll be editing a video. He'll walk up with his phone and go, hey, you got to see.

Have you seen this? Check this out. And I'll just hold it. up like this close. I'm like, no, I saw this. It was on TikTok, yeah. I followed Tim Hidecker as well.

I saw this last night. But that doesn't stop him. He still just holds it right there. But we're adding, I'm adding rotten apples to the bunch. What I'm mainly getting at is there's no thank you. So, Luke, if you could at least write a small thank you, more than one sentence, less than four.

Yeah, like an opening paragraph. Yeah, to an essay, three sentences. Yeah, three sentences. Thank you, nice. because without these ads, Luke, you'd have nothing to edit. Mm-hmm. And then what would you do? You'd sit at home, you'd play video games.

That probably sounds pretty nice. Yeah. You'd have nothing to do but to just sit at home and play video. Yeah, I quit. Actually, I don't have to do this. That's crazy. Go and watch Tim Hidecker clips. Play video games all day.

Don't. We need you, Luke. Yeah. We need you to edit the podcast and to edit the ads. but you can also thank us at the same time. It's a symbiotic relationship, you know? I have a feeling he was mean in that three sentences. I have a feeling he was as well.

But maybe I'm, maybe I'm judging. Let me guess. Was it facetious? I don't know. And the comments, guys, you know? And Luke probably already typed it, so now he's getting into this part. He's like, well, I'm not going to go retype it now. Even though it would be easy to, you know, it's easy to be mean, but it's hard to be nice. That's true.

It's easy to be nice, and it's hard to be... No, it's easy to be mean. It's hard to be nice. Okay. Yeah. Look, prove it. Say three nice things about Luke right now. He's handsome.

He's cute. Too close. Come on. He's adorable. Nope. See, it's hard. It's hard. You want me to list three?

Okay. See, it's hard, though. No, but that's proving my point. It's hard. Luke's the smartest one in the office. You don't know. We have not had our IQ's tested Ryan, so let's slow our role on that one.

He's very intelligent and thoughtful. Again, that's the same thing. I was adding on to that. I still only have my thumb up. Okay, sorry, sorry. And then now I can use, he's adorable and sweet. Yes. And he's got some wicked fingers.

He's got those fucking sausages. It's like it goes between tight and soft grip, and I don't even know where the one grip starts and the other begins. I mean, the way he can... When we're playing racquetball, he's really fucking good. He's fantastic at it. And badminton. The way he hits that shuttlecock?

That's what it's called, by the way. You wanted to say shuttlecock, is why you brought it up. I was hoping you would bring up some sort of, some sort of sport that uses a racket, just so I could bring up the shuttle cock. It brings me back to middle school when they were talking about, there was a badminton section because I guess... We had that in P.E. They wanted to, and it was always like, now I'm going to name. I'm going to say the name of this, but you know, no laughing.

It's called a shuttle cock. There was no point the teacher even saying that. The teacher, like, teach us how to play badminton, you know, but if the teacher really wanted to, didn't need to, could have just set the ball. We could have just played tennis, but they chose badminton. Because they wanted to say cock in front of children. Fucking sick, disgusting, twisted pieces of shit. But that's our American justice.

That's our American education system. Well, they like to view it as justice. justice system, forcing subtle cocks down our kids' throats? Why are our kids being force-fed this science shit? I'd rather than be force-fed the Bible.

This non-science shit. Which is fine to do at home. You know what's crazy. But to entrust a school to instill religious ideologies into your kids is a bit whack nowadays, I would say. Unless you're paying for them

to go to Catholic school. That makes more sense. Well, that's lame. Don't send your kids to Catholic school. No one wants, okay, do you think anyone, any adult that went to Catholic school, is there a single adult ever? Have you ever heard a positive story about like, oh, I loved Catholic school. I heard people at Catholic school are more crazy than those at public school because they're so repressed. Yeah, they are.

Because they're all like, we have to be good. We have to be good little Christian people. They're getting drunk. They're smoking cigarettes. Oh, Christ. They're fornicating. I mean, they did that our high school. There was actually multiple...

There were multiple times high schoolers got caught in the stair while having sex. I remember one teacher saw it, and I knew this teacher kind of, you know, I had them for a class, and I also saw them around the school on occasion because they worked close with our media arts teacher, and I was in silver screen, so I was just over in that part of school. and her reaction to like having seen it was like having seen someone get their head blown off in the street well she just genuinely didn't know what it was she was she was just i remember she was oh my she like sat down and she was like because i can imagine like you're you're a fucking you're you're an adult you're not expecting no to see that when you're at your your job as a teacher yeah it's like also like

what the fuck are you doing having sex in a school stairwell like go like go like go go go go into utilities closet at least go go to the parking lot or something i don't know the stairwell's like very risky i guess they chose the stairwell because there's doors you know the the the the push like where you hear the yeah but what are those things called yeah no no that what are those things i actually have no clue that you know the the push to open doors well usually that sets off a loud noise so it's like you know when someone's entering the stairwell but it's enough time to to withdraw and in, well, those kids found out it wasn't. See?

Horrible idea. Horrible idea. You and I were talking recently last week, Darwin was here, and Darwin is, he's younger than us, he's 13, and he grew up in California. We grew up in South Carolina. And, you know, his name is Darwin. And what does that remind you of? Charles Darwin, the guy who fucked lizards on the Galapagos Island.

Exactly. Weirdest parents named him after that. But whatever. But this was something that I thought was universal, but apparently he was like, what? Where when you and I were back in South Carolina's education system, back in 2012, 2013-ish. Are you doing the 90 to 100 thing? No, no, no, no, no. Something even crazier than that.

When I was in 10th grade, so this would have been 2012, in biology class. Okay, I see where It was It was time to learn about evolution But they won't just teach it They had to send out permission slips To all of us take home to our parents Where it was basically like

Soon we'll be teaching The theory of evolution at school And if you don't want your child to learn about this They don't have to So you can opt out Yeah, that's what the That's from my recollection It wasn't like a waiver

to sign to be taught evolution. There was like, it was like this pamphlet where they were updating, we're going to be teaching this. So if you want to opt out, this is your chance. It was weird that there's like, there's a subject. It's weird that there's a subject

that you can opt out of. I know. Like, that's, I wish I could do that. Like, imagine doing that in calculus. It's actually you would have loved that shit. Like, you're getting through it. Like, all of a sudden, like, three quarters of the way,

they whip out something, difficult for you and you're just like, hmm, how about, hey parents, how about I opt out of this because God didn't like numbers. Nope. He hated it. He didn't like it when there were too many numbers. That's why he killed all those thousands of hundreds of thousands of people in the flood. It's because he couldn't keep up count anymore. You know, when he made

three humans, four humans, it's fine. But when it got to like 10,000, 11,000, he's like, oh, this is too many. Fuck. Like, picture babysitting 10,000 people. Impossible. No, he got a little too too excited and made too many people. But yeah, I remember we had to sign it and bring it back, our parents. You had to sign your parents and bring them to class? Yeah, that's weird.

My dad's sitting there, my signature on his forehead. That's my boy right there. Well, you're teaching them, what? But yeah, evolution. I remember there were like three or four kids that opted out. They still had to learn some shit, though. They had a different course they had to take. That was like unrelated.

Most of them opted out. just because they thought it would be the equivalent of like taking drama or like it would be the equivalent of like oh I just get to have a study block essentially study block well the the only ones that opted out that I knew were like hard losers hardcore hardcore Christians and their their parents did not want cocked Christians I'm sure I mean Christians are probably able to get hard just the same as the rest of us I don't know maybe not I mean Will Farrell got hard with Kevin Hart in that movie. Yeah.

You know, the only time I ever saw that movie was years ago in South Carolina. There's a penis in the movie. There is. I can't remember it's like three quarters

of the way through the movie. I can't remember why there's a penis in the movie. Just because. It's called Get Hard. No, but I saw it in the best of settings. It was years ago and a friend wanted me to

to meet him at a, I thought it was like a cafe. It was a Kratum bar. So sitting at a Kratem bar watching Get Hard on the TV. And there were about, dude, I'm not kidding. There were like seven grown men all standing up because I guess they were so excited. Like it was a football game? No, they were all like standing up, looking up at the TV, just going, ah ha ha ha.

Like they're at Hooters are like a football game, man. Yeah, it was fantastic. It was a great memory of mine. Kratem bar is one of the coolest spots to hang out, I will say. It's just the vibes. You feel cool when you're sitting at that counter. Oh yeah? Drinking a disgusting, bitter drink.

Yeah, I had Kratom once and I threw up and got sick and I have said, no more for me. Yeah, same. No, I'm just kidding. I was addicted to Kratom for a while. Nasty, nasty substance. Filthy, disgusting mud, blood. I mean, drinking it is like drinking mud. Blood. Hey.

Don't do Kratom though, guys. That's bad news. It's not good. It's not good for you. Make your hair fall out. You get addicted to it and it tastes gross. I mean, that's three good reasons not to do it. You stand up and like the little bottles start pouring out of your pocket. Like in your hat falls off and more come out of it.

It's like, just they keep pouring out. Just like they're like in my hair. All of a sudden like the room's half filled and we're just like essentially swimming in it. Dude, I probably. What the hell? Like when I think back to how many of the little kratum extract bottles I consumed, if I had to, if I had to quantify that number, it would be too many. Not enough to fill the room, but it would be a.

enough where I would go. I would, I mean, I would have to say the same thing about cigarettes. If you had all the cigarettes I had ever smoked in a container, it would be pretty big. Because I remember there was one point, like a while back I noticed where, like, I was smoking, putting them in the ashtray, blah, blah, blah, blah, where I, like, went outside and I looked at the ashtrays and I had let it pile up for a bit. And I had, like, cleaned, like, a week prior, like a two weeks prior, week and a half. But I was like only a week and a half of some of that, that many.

And I'm like, each one of those, I came out here and smoked and inhaled. And it's crazy. Having those moments of clarity when you're in addiction of like, holy fuck, this is a problem. But then just your brain has a way of going, whoop, anyways, I'm going to enjoy another one. This will be my near last one, I guess. That's how it works, dude. That's how it works because I remember I remember I when I would when I would drink those those gross little cratum extracts I had there was a period where I would just they're like this big I would I would down it in my car usually and I go ah and then I would just throw the the bottle into like my center console and I remember once I went and I was cleaning my car and I went to go clean out the center console and I opened it up and I remember like handful after handful of just empty bottles and I put in I was like oh. my God. And I remember actually I stopped. I pulled them back out of the trash and I got a separate

bag and I was like I'm going to see how many this is. And I put them all into one bag. And this was just from like I don't know, maybe like one month, maybe a couple weeks of using those. And I had been a pretty consistent user of those for maybe like a year. And I remember just looking at it. And it was like, and it was like that many. Like if I really like held it all and they're tiny little bottles. And And that was, I remember just being like, oh my God, dude, this is, thankfully they're taking Kratem out of a lot of stores and stuff. Yeah. There's a lot of advertisements.

Because like, you pointed one out to me. Yeah. Because they'll, they, a lot of the times, uh, even on like Reddit, there's like certain Reddit's like certain Reddit's dedicated to like people that are addicted or have been addicted to Kratum and stuff. And they will say like they, a lot of people get into it not knowing what they're getting into. That's what happened to mean. You, you, even like, well, like, you had also just bad influences.

You had people pushing on you saying that it, like, it's actually, like, healthy, good for you. It's like what a supplement. It's an herbal supplement. It's like what loser weed people say when they're trying to get other people to smoke and, like, calm it down. Like, they're like, it's better for you than alcohol to you. Oh, come on, dude. You know, all that shit. Which, I mean, I guess is true.

The Kratum thing is not true. No. Where it's healthy. So, like. It mimics, like, your opiate. receptors or whatever. So for those who don't know, it's a, it's like a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a plant. And, uh, it's always these damn plants.

It's these damn plants, dude. But, you know, they extract it into like a little bottle and this brown liquid that they sell at smoke shops. And in my, my head, you know, I had been told it's not addictive. And, uh, it just boosts your mood. But they start wrapping it up in like these very fun poppy tea drink type stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I pointed it out to you. Crave or whatever the phone. Feel free, or not Feel Free, feel free is one, the little blue bottle that is also the official sponsor of a, uh, uh, USC's football team. Dude, some of these cans look like they're akin to like Celsius or like Yerb,

you know, or Yerba. New brew, I think was the name of the tea that's, that has it. It just looks like, you look at it. And it's market.

It doesn't say anything of like, uh, yeah. It's, it just looks like, like the marketing's super nice. And it's like, you know, Get your thoughts going. You know, shit like that.

It's like a mood lifting herbal tea. And then you drink it and then you get addicted to it. But yeah, dude. But basically the way it works is it like in your brain you have opioid receptors. And it's not like a full opioid, but it like the best way I saw it described is like you have like Lego bricks. You can have like a Lego brick that has like four pegs. and you can fit really any other Lego piece onto that as long as it has like the four circles underneath it or even two circles where like Cratum is like not a full opioid but it's a it's a piece that'll still click on so it like partially fires up those receptors and by the time I realized oh it is addictive I was already addicted to it and any I'm sure listeners that have been addicted to it or opioids know how hard that is to stop using that was no fun um because like you stop using it and you just feel like absolute dog shit so you want to use it again

and I used it for on and off like multiple years I would I would have like long periods without it but then I'd get back on it for you know like nine months whatever and luckily I finally kicked it because then they they busted out on the market this new 7-0-H stuff which if there's if there is one thing I I can strongly say never to even try would be that because they sell it at smoke shops, gas stations. And they don't do any. Like there's no, the way they market it, you would not ever know it's what it is because they, it's flown under like the radar, the FDA and stuff. But that is like a super concentrated version.

That is pretty much like a full opioid. I got addicted to that. And that shit was like life ruining. That will actually ruin your life. It totally sucks. I've been off it now for over a year and it feels good. But I cold turkeyed it and that was no fun. Cold turkey did it in South Korea, which kind of forced me to fully cold turkey it,

but probably the worst four or five days of my life. I don't remember asking. More ads. Go into like a narcotics anonymous meeting. Some guy opens up. But he's like, a leader the guy with glasses. And he's like tears in his eyes like and yeah and just been like, wow, I, um, I don't remember asking. Anyway, we'll be right back after these ads. We're back.

If you went, I asked you this, but like, if you went to like a narcotics anonymous meeting and like sat down in the circle and like, I'm addicted to cigarettes. I'm addicted to chocolate. Oh, man, I'm just like with alcohol. You're like eating at Hershey's bar. Sorry, I got to have a square right now. you understand would they stop you with it probably put it away the prop would they kick you out would they see it as the equivalent of like bringing in like a little flask and you like you know probably not because they won't take you seriously even though that chocolate addiction dude people get serious diabetes or something i'm sure from no chocolate chocolate addiction chocolate chocolate has chemicals in it that are addictive coffee that's caffeine caffeine is addictive caffeine

Yeah, the amount of caffeine and chocolate I mean, going to an in a meeting and just like, you know, go around the circle, everyone's crying, being a big baby, and then you bust out the tears and you're like, my name is Matt.

I'm sorry. My name is Jeff. I guess an icebreaker. Like, no one says anything. They're like, hi, Jeff. And you're like, no, guys. And then someone else starts talking. So then your name's just like,

you don't you never get it in short enough to like be able to like comfortably be in no no it's Matt it's just like you want to use it as an icebreaker though but because everyone moves on you're just you don't have the courage to like rescind it you're trying to find a way to bud in quickly though you're like oh no guys but seriously no no we'll give you we'll get we're all gonna go around in the second it's like oh don't worry jeff we'll get to you like you're you're a year into meetings and it's like jeff you want to speak it's like yeah oh oh yeah yeah But go and just cry and say, my name is Jeff and I'm a chocaholic. Hell yeah, dude.

They might just be like, I'm a sineholic. As in not the streamer, Sina, there's a place called Sinaholic, which gives. It's a great cinnamon rolls. And it's like they, they bake the cinnamon rolls a third of what they're probably supposed to. That's why they're good. In my opinion, they're really soft. Exactly. They're very doughy and soft.

There's no Chris. Smothered in fucking smothered in that delicious sugar cream. You know what's crazy, by the way? They're vegan. Vegan. Those cinnamon rolls are vegan. Vegan. Sorry, vegan.

There's an enye above the E? Yeah. Ennees are only used over ends. Oops. You can't prove it. It's on camera. So? You just did that on camera.

So I was just leaning forward because my back hurt. That was your back popping. Mm-hmm. What popping sound? Probably, I mean, the mic probably didn't pick that up. Mm-mm. Yeah, but I'm actually very curious for those who maybe have been to an N.A. meeting. If I went and said I was a chocaholic, how would they react?

Would they be like, all right, wise guy, get out of here? And I'd be like, really, you're going to turn someone down with an addiction? Really? Wow. So supportive. Say, I'm addicted to a good time. Well, we all are, I guess. No, but it's all right. You can open up.

What's your drug of choice? A good time. And there's like, what's your drug of choice? Euphoria. Have you seen that show with Zendaya? Yes. And, you know. It's pretty crazy.

Drugs tend to give euphoria. So what, let's, you know, you don't have to be joking. What, what drug do you use that brings you for? Happiness is a warm gun. Bang, bang, shoo. At what point would they kick you out? Probably. In that interaction.

You'd probably be gone right then. I mean, they probably dealt with... Because they probably think you're high. Oh, true. We don't allow people, look, we welcome those who want to get better, but you have to actually want to get better. There's people around here that, you know, they each have their vices and we can't have you. Chocolate.

And then the camera zooms out and you don't have pants on your penises out. And I go, that's a camera. That's a camera. The one place where, like, you cannot absolutely have cameras. Well, not the one place, but... There's no law. they're probably i mean yeah i'm sure they have not put into law that you it's like you can't go into an a a or an in a meeting with cameras well i'm sure i guess it would be a private function so but like

at what point is private property or like a private space seen as probably like you can't just be like yeah we're meeting in this building we we've we've signed up to use the community room 2a or whatever you know like yeah is it because then that overall place can... It's whatever their rules are. Like, right? I feel like for AA or whatever, it's,

it's really going off of like more of a respect system where it's like, it's in the name. Like Japan. Huh? Like Japan. They're all about the respect in Japan. Talk about alcoholics.

He's doing better. He is. And I shouldn't bring up his alcohol use. I'm sorry. You know, I'm sorry, Logan. Oh, fuck. You know, not. only is he the YouTube God, but he makes it so that people can look and go, hey, you can be a

piece of shit time and time and time again. You can steal money, make money off of the dead back of a suicide victim in another country. And you'll still be a millionaire and beloved. you'll still be successful and all those bad things you did you'll be a WWE superstar that's right all those bad things will just be essential marketing

for your current like I'm changed and more mature now persona you know the you know the crypto shit was like a year or two years ago whatever I mean we all make mistakes

yeah is a man incapable of growth I will say he does need to get a haircut though God it looks just horrendously stupid I need a haircut as well

I'm not going to sit here and be the hair police But It's more of the style He's still going for the like 18 year old Logan Paul swoop Or maybe it's changed Because he got it shorter, I don't know It's like a

It's like a bowl cut I don't know It's a very middle school haircut It's like what you expect The football player's haircut to be When he's not a football player 10 to 20 years down the road Yes

Which I mean I guess it fits then But you remember even back in the day, like this is over 10 years ago, when there would be frames every now and then where the wind would blow. You could see that hair line. And it bothered him. And I think that's why he still has that haircut. You think that he's rich enough to go get that transplant shit, but I guess he doesn't have enough time to hide it because he's always making money moves. He can go fucking make a vlog about it.

He's like, yeah, guys, I'm going bald, so I'm going to get a new head of hair. No one's going to fuck. Like, who cares? Yeah, it's just like the colorblindness thing. And that was incredible. Was it Mr. Beast and Logan Paul? Was Mr. Beast part of that? Who was? Was it just Logan?

It might have just been Logan where he goes to the observatory and he puts on the glasses. I don't know why I thought Mr. Beast was a part of it. It seems like it. Because Mr. Beasts made the glasses. That's what I'm thinking. Because didn't he do like a colorblind? Yeah, well, Logan Paul was like. He donated eyes to people who were blind.

He did do that. You're right. So that's probably where the confusion's coming. He healed 100 blind people. He's like the modern day Jesus Christ Unfortunately the 101st person in line He went up Oh That's the quota

I mean we have enough in the back But the video's done and like What am I going to waste like time And people's mind like I'm not going to pay the crew again Just to start the cameras rolling But you understand Yeah so good luck though Right

No but Logan Paul put those glasses on That replace the cones and rods in your eyes That let him finally see color And it was beautiful He cried he went Well so many games now do offer not just like one colorblind mode. There's like so many different.

Which interesting. I'll see it every now and then there's like a game I'm playing. And every now and then like someone will post a screenshot like I'm playing the game and like something will be different color coded wise. Like an item. And I'll just be like, that's supposed to be a purple rarity item. Why does it look orange? And I get pissed. And I go, are you hacking?

and then I get embarrassed because they go, no. And then I feel bad and I feel ablest when they say that they're colorblind. And then I call them a liar because I dig my heel into the ground. It's natural, though. I make TikToks about, you know, I use the person's username and try to get my audience to try to go hound them into embarrassment. That affects both of us. It's just, I got a safe face somehow, and I can't be wrong. I can be wrong in my personal life privately, but like to be wrong public.

He's embarrassing. Yeah. You got to stop doing that. I mean, I thought we learned our lesson when I had the whole fight with the guy in the wheelchair. I said, oh, you're so lucky you get to just roll everywhere. Oh, you think you can take that spot?

Yeah. What happens if I move you over here? And then you... Oh, he's crawling on the ground. You wrestled him to the ground, stole his keys out of his cargo pants, took his car, parked it in the back of the lot. Why?

That was my cargo pants. I don't know. I think it's just their style. Yeah. Anyways, in a lot of pockets. I think that with the different colorblind modes, I didn't know that there was like different types of colorblindness for a long time. Because I thought that when I was younger, I thought colorblind meant that like everything's black and white. Yeah. Because my uncle's colorblind.

And he was always cracking wise about it. I cracked wise about it once and he did not like that. What? It's kind of like, you know, I can- Did he grab you by the wrist very firm? and go, don't you ever. He said, you don't know what it's like. And then his eyes started the well with tears.

And I said, well, technically, you don't know what it's like because you can't see color. So, so what are you even crying about? You don't even know what you're missing. And then he slapped you and then covered his mouth like her. Matthew, I'm sorry. And then he couldn't even see how red my face was from that slap. Joke was on him. Yeah, but he did see how red your ass was later.

He couldn't. He couldn't. No, he couldn't. You couldn't. I could, though. My dad could. My dad was pissed. He said that ass is mine, not yours. Anyway, great, great bits. But basically, Luke, you know, in the spirit of accessibility. And Halloween. And Halloween, why don't you go ahead, and for the rest of this episode, why don't you go ahead and adjust the colors so our colorblind viewers are able to enjoy the podcast as well? How a normal person sees life. Thanks, Luke.

Yeah So let's go back to the beginning of the episode We're talking about kids shows Do you remember that show Oh man, I don't remember what it was called But it took place in a big tree Like a really big tree Do you know what I'm talking about?

No The main character was some weird beast Some animal creature It's not Maggie and the Ferocious Beast I would have said ferocious beast And I hate the look of that beast I've said it before and I'll say it again It looks stupid I didn't like it

It's the human face It has Why not give it like a dog head? Right? Don't get like it like a beast that size is already terrifying to give it a human face with with polka dots and shit It's not a beast. It's a monster exactly exactly Like what is that show I'm thinking of? It took place in a big tree Y'all know what I'm talking about. Oh, I'm gonna look it up kid show that takes place in big tree and the the main character was this like almost like Alf-esque Like creature

He He was fuzzy Fuzzy was it Not Bear in the Big Blue House No That would have said Bear in the Big Blue Tree Okay ready

Yeah If you're looking for a kid show That takes place in a big tree It is most likely One of these three Popular animated It was animated It was puppets

Tree Fu Tom Nope It's a big big world Yes that's it That's it The PBS series Follows a friendly Slow moving sloth named Snuck

Yes Let me see Bro yes Let me see It's a big big world It's not animated though. Is it like puppets?

Yeah, it's puppets. Which puppets are animated. It's a big, big house. Lots and lots of... Oh my God, dude. You remember this? Yes. Because, like, I always viewed the sloth

or, like, the show for some reason as kind of like Bear in the Big Blue House at home. Because it was the same type of puppetry as Bear, the sloth was. He doesn't look like a sloth from what I remember, though. He looks like a bear. Yeah, exactly.

The sloths are bear-like? I guess. Are they... They're like tree bears. No, bears going to be. are sloths? Like, what are their,

what is their, their class? What are they similar to who? Yeah. What's the, genus? Yeah. Um, I'm gonna look up.

What is a sloth? Bro, it's probably some shit you've never even heard of. I'm looking it up. What is a, sloths are medium-sized tree-dwelling, yes,

native to the tropical fruit. Yeah, yeah, what is their, what is their family, though? Are they, oh, dude, also bears,

I, you know, bears really remind me of dogs. Are bears canines? Horses also give me a little, dog dog they people describe them as big dog sometimes modern slots belong to the suborder full full of aura and are divided into two distinct living families i knew it's going to be some bullshit there's three toad sloths and two toad slots slots two it's four species characterized by three digits on their four limbs and a slower okay includes two species characterized

with two yeah uh at a broader level slots belong to the order of pelosa polosi nancy And the super order. I don't even know what it. Oh, which also includes armadillos. I kind of see it. Yeah, I see it, but that's also, again, you know, I wouldn't be able to tell you what armadillo belongs to. That's another breed of bullshit.

Sub genre of animal that, you know, I can't place what it belongs to. I just wanted to know if sloths were tiny bears, bear cousins or something, like us to chimps or like to chimps to us. Is there a... Is there a definitive, like, animal kingdom tree that has everything, like, splitting off into its own thing in one gigantic tree? There has to be. I'm sure online someone's made it. Like, right?

Like, there has to, I mean, granted, there are, like, billions of species, but, like, you have to be able to break everything up into one giant tree. Yeah. I mean, that's why they, that's why they are, they categorize them so they could see what branches off of what. And they tried to help Charles Darwin with his fucking theory. Remember, theory. Yeah, guys. Not law. Nope.

Theory. Not the law of evolution. No. Not the fact of evolution. Right. The law of therodynamics. Thermodynamics, something like that. Thermo.

Thermo. But also, we don't know shit about physics. There could be something called therodynamics that's just not discovered yet. By Theranos. Elizabeth Holmes. Holmes company? Oh yeah. The fraudster. Best friends with Nathan Fielder. Apparently has been visiting her in prison. No one knows why. Conjugal visits maybe. You know? Dude, imagine like he set out to like one-up her and like make her look like a fool, but then he ends up falling in love and getting conjugal visits with the Elizabeth Holmes. Does that not seem like the next season in the rehearsal though? Like that seems like I have to sleep with her for her. It could take that term where it's like he starts getting feelings for her. He's that sex with her.

Does he have like any sort of Like Does he have a History of No I mean he's his His stuff is always for his show Stuff like this I don't think that

He's celebrity friends with Elizabeth Holmes No this is Him visiting Elizabeth Holmes in prison Is definitely Starts visiting Galane Maxwell See that one would be I'd be like all right You see a picture of him jogging with her

The next season of the rehearsal is about to be crazy That seems up his alley. Sleeping with Elizabeth Holmes? Like he's some sort of 007 spy? Or Jelaine. Or Jalane. I mean, you've seen Jolene in a bikini, Ryan, right? No, really, have you? Are there pictures of Jolaine Maxwell in a bikini?

Yes. Okay. I mean, you've... Wait, have you... Have you seen what she's working with? I'm not doing a bit right now. I have not seen. what she's working with. I'll tell you something, Ryan.

You're going to want to see this. Okay. After the podcast, we can go in the bathroom, rub one out together. I mean, you just start talking about it. The members are on screen. They've been scrolling. Yeah. And you can go to Patreon if you want.

Yeah, yeah. Members only after. Yeah. Yes. One 10 on each screen.