supermegashow - EP 191 - Matt Buys A Star

Episode Date: May 6, 2020

We talk Doom, Orlando, and debate buying stars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. This NHL season, get more excitement out of every slap shot with FanDuel, North America's number one sportsbook. You can bet on everything from the money line to over-unders to which player will net the first goal. Make your picks and assemble a same game parlay with FanDuel Sportsbook, home of the SGP.

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broke early. Welcome back to the Super Megacast. It's episode 191. What is it, Matt? Well, I mean, that opening bit... No, as in, like, what is it? What is 191? Oh, it's a palindrome. Exactly. Anyways, what were you about to say? I was gonna say that opening bit, you were like a is it what is 191 oh it's a palindrome exactly anyways what were you about to say that opening bit you were like a like a fighter jet pilot the bit was the the plane and it started going down you just eject oh man dude can you imagine how like in a fighter

jet when you eject how what that feels like because you've seen the videos those dudes shoot out at like a million miles per hour. Yeah, all their skin flies off. Yeah, they got to go pick it up off the ground. They got to run around with no skin on to try to find the pieces to smack back on. How the fuck are you, my man? I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing great. That's great. I'm doing great as well. Because I just beat Doom Eternal last night.

Well, technically like two in the morning or whatever. But it's a good game. I recommend it. It's the sequel to the 2016 Doom that came out. Yeah. I don't even, did I speak about, I don't know. Dude, I wonder if I spoke about Doom 2016 in our podcast. Like way, way back?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I like that game as well but this one it was so much fun there was only one part that pissed me off where I was like this ruins the game and then I stopped being a little bitch boy and I learned how to deal with that specific enemy

and I beat him the first try throughout the rest of the campaign it's this enemy called the Marauder. He gets in your face and he has a hell dog that he can spawn from his shield that he blocks all of your bullets with. And if you get close to him,

he'll pull out a shotgun and shoot you. Dude, I defeated the fucking icon of sin, bro. Beat his ass, man. Yeah? I beat my kids last night, so kind of a similar feeling. Yeah. That was fucking sick, man. I've i've never played it i want to play the original doom i love i just love the the look of it like just that the gun is just a 2d sprite didn't we play one of them no we played

duke nukem oh yeah the christmas edition we should play the original doom i, because I do like Doom 2016 and Doom Eternal. I know there's what, Doom 1, Doom 2, Doom 64, and Doom 3 are like the games. Are you talking about the game that inspired the Columbine school shootings? Is that, are those what's That's why, well, back in the time, a lot of people blamed, because

those goofballs made a map of their high school before they did it on a Doom engine. So people thought that game inspired it. People thought South Park inspired it. A lot of people think Call of Duty inspires stuff, Halo inspires, you know. It's all that.

Which, if anything, I think Doom is picking up the mantle of Halo. Not in terms of Xbox's whatever, but in terms of sci-fi FPS's because Halo's been doodoo lately in my opinion I just think the story's been bad but Doom, it's a fun

FPS and it's all goofy and you're just like, my worst genre of game that's what I'm worst at you don't need to really be precise in aiming in Doom because it's all hipfire, you don't like there's this precise in aiming in Doom because it's all hipfire. You don't like, there's this one gun. You're just kind of spraying. Where he's a precision bolt.

But yeah, you're just spraying. There's so many different weapons you use. There's like rocket launchers. There's a chainsaw. Hey, it's Rupert. No, that guy's shorter than Rupert. Is that different? That's another guy.

Sorry, there's another. I didn't mean to interrupt you, Ryan. No, it's fine. Honestly, what I'm saying isn't intriguing or important because not that many people care. I just really enjoy the game and I'm so hyped about it. I'm going through the... getting all the

collectibles or I'm going to try to. And, yeah. But, you know. Okay, my man. It's a good... it's a really good game that came out the same day as Animal Crossing. If I had any any gaming skills I would definitely try it out my thing is I just play those and I just get so frustrated with myself not with the game

I don't get mad at the game I get frustrated at myself because I'm so bad I promise you you would be decent at this game I almost want to like have a little one off episode of Super Mega where it's like Matt play Doom it's fun the thing is do not be afraid of even playing on the lowest difficulty matt play doom it's fun and you can play the thing is do

not be afraid of even playing on the lowest difficulty because the game is supposed to make you feel like a fucking god i saw something on on uh the subreddit unpopular opinion recently that i i i it resonated with me come on give us your unpopular opinion it was something up till now that you've been to this stop it was this guy who was like I enjoy playing on the easiest difficulty of games because I'm not very good and I like just being able to blast through

things and accomplish things and I was like that's how I feel I like playing on the easiest difficulty but I always feel guilty for doing it Matt usually like I play everything on normal usually my first go around but if it's a game that i'm not too interested in that i got on game pass and i just kind of want to experience the story i will play on the easiest game mode and just kind of like blast through and experience it

but the thing is i i've also learned that a part of the part of the reason that keeps me playing is somewhat of a challenge like i can't just be like mowing through things easily or yeah you like a challenge there has to be some sort of challenge so that's why i think normal is always like I can't just be like mowing through things easily or else I'll be bored. There has to be some sort of challenge. So that's why I think normal is always good. But for me, even though I'm still pretty bad. But dude, if you want to get into games, I 100% support setting it to the lowest difficulty. Question.

Would you trust your life in my hands if Julian puts a gun to your head? Julian. Julian. Julian. Yeah, that Julian. Yeah. And puts a gun to your head

and says, Matt has to go. Why would I put a gun against his head? I put my cock against it. Is he Yoda? Yeah, he's Yoda now. I put my cock

against his head. Cock against his head I put. Smegma appears. Wipe on face I will. No, no. If I had to go 200 for an eighth I say. I go head to head with Ding Dong

in just a video game competition and if he wins then you get shot in the head would you trust me? I'm probably the worst gamer compared to that's one of those moments where like this is a really fucked up thing but I'm like I thought of this one night when I was high

I was like what if my dad like he was challenged to like beat a Call of Duty campaign on the hardest difficulty within a week's time. And I'm like, or else I'd be shot in the head. In that moment, I think I would just be like, I have to accept the fact that I'm dying. Have a little faith in him.

I know. Have a little faith in him. You know, your dad has faith in you, man. You got to have faith in him. You know? Your dad has faith in you, man. You gotta have faith in your dad. Or like go into Call of Duty multiplayer and within a 24-hour period be the top in the leaderboards in a multiplayer match. Tell me this, Ryan. Did he or did he not used to play the Rocket Power game? He did.

He did. So he's got some gaming experience. He did. He not only played that. He played Silphid, which is kind of like the space shooter game. Shooting, see? What did he do specifically in the Rocket Power games? There was a mini game he liked, right?

It was like where you shoot these balls out of a cannon at these targets. That's not that different from Call of Duty, is it? You're right. I mean, he could learn. I think him and we could do it. I don't know. I just feel like there's this thing's this things where there's this thing where like you grow up with a game.

And so you kind of learn the general mechanics of your generation. And like now, like, I don't know. That's why I feel like kids are so good at Fortnite and shit because they're growing up with it. And when I was a kid, I just spent so much time on like Halo, Call of Duty, whatever or just whatever game I was a kid, I just spent so much time on Halo, Call of Duty. These kids are too good. Or just whatever game I was, I would just play it over and over again until I could just do it with a blindfold on, essentially. But now, I definitely don't feel as good as I was,

but I don't know if that's also nostalgia ringing in my ear. And also, when I was a kid, I also didn't finish a lot of games. I just would play through a level a lot. Yeah, as I said, I never beat Donkey Kong 64 because I was too afraid to go kid i also didn't finish a lot of games i just would play through a level a lot like yeah and um yeah as i said i'd never beat donkey on 64 because i was too afraid to go because it was started the rain in that area and thunder and i got scared and i was like i can't do it he's if there's something big in there i think i'm gonna have nightmares i love it that's great i had a nightmare the other night because i watched about these big balls on your face get

them off oh jesus christ yeah baby stop it man just get those get that nutsack off my effing face the other night because I watched about these big balls on your face Jesus Christ stop it man just get those get that nutsack off my effing face I had a nightmare because I watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre and movies like don't ever give me nightmares I'm not interested as I was saying I'm kidding I'm kidding

back to my dad in Call of Duty it's a good fucking movie, man. I bet. I bet. Our friend Layton has a tattoo. Yeah. And guess what? I actually, I got pissed off.

Why? Because it's such a good tattoo? Because it's the final shot of the movie. Oh, so it's the final shot. It's spoiled. So halfway through, I realized that, I'm like, oh, Layton's tattoo is the final shot of this. And then it clicked. And I knew exactly what was going to happen. And I'm like, oh, Leighton's tattoo is the final shot of this. And then it clicked and I knew exactly what was going to happen. And I was like, well, you were scared.

You're like, oh, she could die. Yeah. And then I see Leighton's tattoo. I remember Leighton's tattoo. I'm like, oh, so I know I know how this movie ends now. And I was I was legitimately a little bit angry for a second. I was like, I understand wanting. It's a good tattoo.

I like it. But I'm like, does it have's a good tattoo. I like it, but I'm like, does it have to be the, the spoiler of the movie? So, well, it was, and,

uh, you, you were spoiled. It was a great movie though. Fantastic. It was very graphic. Uh, really, really,

really fucking good movie, dude. My, my movie watching endeavors haven't been as, uh, high class unfortunately trilogy hasn't it i i don't think i can watch the third one i saw it once in they go to bangkok no no the third one is just the one with john goodman and has nothing to do with them being

hung over it's just this weird kind of drug deal thing i don't know it's weird i just watched a john goodman movie i watched uh big lebowski ah that's a good movie i watched a hangover part well yeah part one and two part one's good i like part one and part two i don't know i'm entertained by it i think uh part one i have also like a like a connection to it with in terms of nostalgia because i remember driving down a specific highway in south car Carolina and being in the passenger seat. My dad's driving. We're trying to think of a movie. I see all the hangovers out.

I'm reading movies out. And I kind of skip the hangover. And I'm reading out movies because, you know, it's rated R. My dad's like, isn't that hangover movie out? And I was like, are you sure? It's rated R. He's like, I mean, I mean, I'm okay with it.

I mean, do you want to, is that something you want to see? And I'm like, okay. So it was like this, like one of the first R rated movies I got to experience with my dad, where it was like that thing where you're embarrassed because of how crude it is.

But also you're laughing together. And you're like, you're like, you're like, go watch jackass with your dad. You know, my dad's seen these gross things and laughing too. I know.

It's like, oh shit. Things that I would get in trouble for. I know. It's, it's, it's just a great, uh, it was just a great kind of movie going experience for me personally. Cause I was so young and it, it was just a fun, good time in the theater. And I still think it holds up as kind of like a fun comedy. And the second one is, it's Bangkok, right? It's a copy

of the first one. It's definitely darker and cruder in tone and I think it's a lot filthier and disturbing and just disgusting. All these adjectives, you know. Thailand's a disgusting filthy place. I know, dude. Bangkok has them now.

That's what they say throughout the movie. Ah, well, you got 24 hours and if you don't find them after that Bangkok has them. That's what they say throughout the movie. Ah, well, you got 24 hours and if you don't find him after that, Bangkok-asm. That's what Paul Giamatti says in it. He's in the movie. By the way, was he blue? No. I wish he just was blue.

Let's watch that soon. I want to watch that soon. When he played that role, they put the paint on him and it turns out it was permanent by accident. He was like, oh, I'm stuck blue even after the movie. So every other movie he's in after that, he was blue. Don't remember. They also put like orange or red in his hair dye.

So he looked even more goof. What if he just committed and that was his look? Like his personal look for the rest of his life. Everyone would be like, oh, like Paul, Paul the blue guy. Him and Lady in the water. Yeah. Just blue with the, he looks like the, the girl from fucking, what's it,

what is it? What? Fucking shit. Wait, what are you, what fucking shit? Fantastic Four, or whatever the superhero, she's blue and has,

what are you talking about? Orange eyebrows and orange hair. Oh, Jennifer Lawrence? Mystique and X-Men? Yes. Who's Mystique and X-Men? Well, that's just what he reminds me of.

He's like the male version of Mystique. Who's the male version of Mystique? Paul Giamatti, who's blue with what we were just talking about. Okay, okay. Sorry, it's just a weird connection. I get it now. He's like her stepdad or dad in the universe of where those species exist. Except it's not a

species. It's a mutant. It's a mutation. If I could pick one place to go back to right now in quarantine fuck japan dude i want to go to thailand really i've never been so i go to japan because i missed out on a trip i was supposed to go to japan with some friends and uh trip fell through so fuck me damn i was good you know reservations at uh was it osaka uh What is it Osaka Mmhmm Uh what is it called Is that what it is

I don't know What's what Your mama Dude Are you serious man Gotcha What the nice sushi place Yeah

Which one Omakase No what is it Yeah the nice sushi place The one we went to Yeah Kyubey Yeah there's Kyubey

But like what they call it Like the special Like it's, like it's chef prepared. Omakase? Omokaze or something like that. I don't know. It just means Osaka is a place. Osaka is a city in Japan.

Omakase is the dish stuff. I don't know. All I know is it's fucking delicious and I love it. Man, it's bothering me now. I ordered sushi recently and i'm like oh i miss it so much i've had sushi months but you know it's not like going out to a sushi bar people people really still label me as as stupid me too they yeah a lot of people do that uh people people label me as matt weeaboo watson but is it really that true anymore you know that's up for

the fans to decide. I guess so. I just, I don't. You don't get to decide your own image, Matt. See, other people do that for you. Here I am trying to control my public image, but I'm going to hire a PR firm just to get rid of the weeaboo image. Matt, you don't control what you're interested in. The fans do.

That's true. I have no. The fans have all. I have no say in my own personal likes or interests. Your personality is just a giant figment of the collective of every fan's imagination. I like that. You guys control my life.

I like it a lot. It feels good. Yeah. I also, fuck, what other movie did I watch that I wanted to talk to you about? I watched The Beach Bomb.

Yeah, you told me to watch it. So good. I didn't watch it. I'm sorry. I was hoping you would so we could talk about it on the podcast. I'm sorry.

Look at that. Now there's no conversation and I'm done talking for the rest of the podcast. No, you're not, Matt. It's a great movie. Really good. I loved it. I thought it was fantastic. I love Harmony Korine. Who? Harmony Korine. Korine?

Is that the director? Yeah. Okay. He directed, uh, Spring Breakers? Spring Breakers. I really want to see,

uh, Gummo, or Gummo, I don't know how you say it. Uh, that's like one of his first movies, and I watched the trailer, and I was like, this looks fucking awesome.

He also directed a whole movie that's like shot on like a shitty camcorder, like the whole thing. Ooh. But it looks really good. It's called, uh,

Julian Donkey Boy. I have it on Blu-ray, but I've never seen it but it's I really I really liked The Beach Ball Matthew McConaughey

did a really really fantastic job he's fucked up the whole movie had some really sad parts a lot of really good music in it a lot of good music montages

who's another famous star in it Jonah Hill okay there has to be there have to be three people I know Martin Lawrence

Martin Lawrence is in it okay then I'll see it there's more there have to be be three people I know in it. Martin Lawrence. Martin Lawrence is in it? Okay, then I'll see it. There's more. There have to be three famous people I know in a movie or else I'm not going to watch it. Isla Fisher? Yeah, I know her. She's a main character?

Yeah, she's married to Borat. Snoop Dogg is a main character. Also married to Borat. I did think that's weird how Sacha Baron Cohen did the three-way relationship with them. There's a lot of famous people in it. In Sacha Baron Cohen did the three relationship with them. There's a lot of famous people in it. Because it's harmony. In Sacha Baron Cohen's relationship?

No, in the beach bum. Yeah. Who else is in it? Fuck. Jimmy Buffett's in it. Is he? Yeah. What?

Snoop Dogg and Jimmy Buffett are both in it. Like Snoop Dogg's a main character. Whoa. As Snoop Dogg. Or just like. As an alter version of himself. It's literally. Is Dave Chappelle in it? No. He is Snoop Dogg. As an alter version of himself. It's literally... Is Dave Chappelle in it?

No. He is Snoop Dogg in the movie. Dave Chappelle was in Dallas. No, he wasn't. He was in the Bradley Cooper movie. The one where he's Lady Gaga. I never saw it. I know what you're talking about.

One where he sings a song and she sings a song on piano. And then Dave Chappelle's like, you're following your dreams, motherfucker. You straight bitch. And then he goes on stage really drunk and yells at the audience. Yeah. That was embarrassing. I saw that. Wait, was that a scene?

No. Dave Chappelle did a stand up tour where he was just like really, really fucked up. Yeah, but he also- And the audience was just booing him. He was like, ah, fuck you guys. And they like left. I think it's hilarious. It was just a bad look.

Do you know how like he's done like hours after, like consecutive hours of sets at like comedy bars? Rumor has it up to like 10 hour sets and shit really just going off wait dave chappelle has done like 10 hour sets yeah just like at small comedy clubs just standing up there going up and people just go you're at yeah that's insane i gotta i got that's props i mean the fact that you're able to stand there for 10 hours and come up with that much i love dave chappelle dude i think he's one of the best comedians of our time. He's super funny. What happened to him? He kind of dipped, I guess. He just won a big award. He won the Mark Twain Award or whatever.

You can watch it on a- Is that the one Eddie Murphy won too? I guess. I don't know. Eddie Murphy won some award and then gave the roast to Bill Cosby. Why was I looking? I was looking up Dave Chappelle for a specific reason. I'll let you remember.

No, you won't. Yeah, you will. No, you won't. You're going to forget. No, I said I'll let you remember. Yeah, but then you're going to forget by the time... I already forgot.

Did you know it when you gave me this? No, I know what it is. I know it in my head, actually, what you're supposed to be looking up. Dave Chappelle. It wasn't nudes. No, it wasn't, you fuck. It was Dave.

You wanted to look up what his net worth was. No, I didn fuck. You wanted to look up what his net worth was. No, I didn't. You wanted to look up about his 10-hour sets. Yes. When he's lifting weights. For 10 hours straight. Because he's so fucking jacked. He heads down to his Planet Fitness gym and lifts two-pound weights for 10 hours.

He really tones those muscles, man. It's so fucking sweet. The first came when Dave Chappelle appeared at 10.36pm for an unannounced set, the second shocker. Chappelle kept telling jokes until 4.43 the next morning. Sounds like he might have been on some cocaine.

It's a long time. Okay, that's like six hours. I'm sorry, I said 10. It's like five, six hours. It's the better half of Okay, that's like six hours. I'm sorry. I said 10. Damn, dude. It's like five, six hours. It's the better half of 10, though. So, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Why don't, you ever wonder what it would be like to do this, like, as a radio show? Scarier.

Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs, projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process.

Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions, and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish, or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hi, can I take your order, please? Can I get a Big Mac, McRab, McFlurry, and a McDouble?

Keep it real, I need a Happy Meal, McCrispy, and 10 McNuggets. Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice. Junior chicken will be fire and a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it? There's Julian. Or, uh, Rupert or whatever the spider is. or Rupert or whatever the spider is. There's a spider. It's going down the wall right there. What kind of spider is that?

You guys remember on the last podcast? Oh, that's not the same spider. You're right. That's a different spider. That's a bigger spider. No, that's a tinier one. The body's bigger though. The body is bigger, yes. The legs are smaller. Rupert.

Right? Rupert's the long one? Yeah, but I don't see him anywhere. No, he probably went down. He's probably just in the cobwebs down there but I don't see him anywhere no he he probably went he went down he's probably just in the cobwebs down there I don't know what he's doing what is dude that's that spider looks like that one that one could bite you maybe oh he's going dude he's going on the should I smush this look at him no it's maybe this one our enemy no it's bad luck to kill a spider he's catching but I mean we could put him there's an empty cup on the table have you seen spider nests, though?

How many spiders spawn from a spider nest? It must be fucking spider season right now. Because in my house, there are so many of that type of spider. And that type, just like, in my bathroom, there's two of them. I saw one in my room. There's spiders all over. And they're all over here. I think it must be spider fucking season. My thing is a cockroach every few months.

And whenever that moment is i'm like yes i saw the very first cockroach in my house ever when uh a couple weeks ago it was in jackson's bathroom you have to take care of it was it no no did you tell someone about it and they took care of it matt no jackson's girlfriend found it and uh started screaming and i came in and i saw it with my own two eyes and it's the first time I ever saw a cockroach in my house. Because this whole time I've been living in security of there are no cockroaches in my house. I can rest easy. Dude, there's so many cockroaches.

There's at least a cockroach in every house in America, I bet. Yeah. 100%. Well, what sucks is what they say. If you see one, that means there's a lot more. So when I saw it, I'm like, fuck. Didn't see any more after that. And the reason I think it might be there is because my landlord usually schedules the exterminator to come by like every month or something.

But I think because of quarantine, that hasn't happened. Oh, really? Someone else staying at my house a long time ago said they saw a mouse in our old den, which is now Jackson's room. No way. They said they saw a mouse one night but i have never once none of us have ever seen a mouse we've never seen droppings we've never heard anything i see rats not not in my place but like on the fences around like the alleyway i've seen that they look so you see the silhouette them running across the top of the fence i saw a coyote the other night just trotting down the street just like he looked so chipper. Mama possum again I saw last night.

Oh, you saw her? The mother of little David? Yep. Just went right back under her little mini shed house, whatever. It's hers now. Yeah, my... Could have been David. I'm kidding. He didn't grow that full. He's been lifting weights and drinking protein.

The kittens are doing great. They're all very alert now. Okay. Well, let's talk about something else then. He's been lifting weights and drinking protein. The kittens are doing great. They're all very alert now. Okay. Well, let's talk about something else then. No, because then the comments will be like, I wanted to hear about Matt's kid. Ryan was a dick this episode. They can't fully walk yet, but they're kind of crawling around and all their eyes are open.

And they're very alert. I moved them. They're all in a little closet now in my hallway. So if I open the door and look at them, I'll see them all just go, just look up. And they all started licking each other. Like they just learned how to lick.

And I think they do it just because their mom does it. They start holding them all the time so they get used to being in hands. Oh, I am. My favorite, I figured out. They'll just be like,

figured out which one's my favorite. It's the runt. It's the little white one because it's just so little. And she's always, it's a girl. She's the runt. It's the little white one because it's just so little and she's always, it's a girl. She's always sleepy and she doesn't ever like fuss. There's one that fusses.

Is it the one with the colored ears? No. There's one that's orange. I will say. Yeah. If you train them right, I'm looking at all possibilities right now. I don't know when I'd ever make a decision.

They're going to be socialized. They're going to be very social. But I'm, I don't know. I might, I don't know if I want to get Lego a buddy or something. I don't know when I'd ever make a decision. They're going to be socialized. They're going to be very social. But I'm, I don't know. I might, I don't know if I want to get Lego a buddy or something. I don't know. Remember Lego with Banana? Lego loved playing with them. I mean, fuck cats, but there are certain cats that are amazing.

Well, we're trying to raise these cats to be very friendly. And Lego would have a cat to stuff in his mouth all the time. Mm-hmm. He'd just stuff Banana's head in his mouth, like all the way. And then bananas head would be all wet. But basically the little run is a little white one.

That looks like an alien because it's little and its eyes are so big and like far apart. She learned how to, she started, they're starting to groom themselves. She was cleaning her paw. They're getting to know. I remember looking at the cameras with you and they were just kind of like,

they couldn't even move. They were just to know. I remember looking at the cameras with you and they were just kind of like they couldn't even move. They were just stagnant. It looked like they were just all had rigor mortis because they just didn't really move much. It looked like a bunch of dead hamsters. It looked like a bunch of shitty animatronics. I got them literally a day or two after they were born. She had just given birth. And I don't think that she's super feral because she's kind of like a nice nicer breed of cat and she's a

flame point siamese which apparently it's a more rare nicer breed so i i just don't know what a flame point siamese would be doing out on the streets of long beach yeah i feel like she had to belong to someone also she's not super mean she's very protective and she'll hiss at me but like she's not as mean as like you would think a feral cat would be with babies yeah so i wonder if she was someone's cat that got pregnant and then like escaped to have the babies because she wanted to go somewhere else to do it and someone out there is like i was so excited for my cat to give birth i loved her so much but now she's at a youtuber's house but she's safe rest assured she's getting great treatment got her a heating pad giving her treats everyday lots of food

treating her kittens all nice they haven't started shitting yet and it's gonna suck when they do it's gonna smell really bad that's right what do they they just usually just pee they don't have little diarrhea

or anything they don't pee or poop what nah for the first part of their life they don't really they take all the nutrients I think

damn and then they start shitting the mom has to teach them how to shit she massages their like stomach muscles really teach them to shit and then she eats the shit to get the nutrients back ew i didn't know that shit wait what she eats the shit to get the nutrients back pushes the shit out like toothpaste from her children's butts and eats it for the nutrients yeah come

on you tell me cecile never did that no i could promise you not we they cut that off after her mom's generation i think well their cats are still doing it and it's uh i'm excited for i'm not excited it's gonna smell bad but speaking of things that cut off in generations man i love it when like my dad have a poop mustache after eating no she's not gonna have a no you're have a... No. You're going to go, oh, shit, hey. You're going to do the motion to wipe her lips? She's going to go, oh, whoops. Cats don't have lips. Her nose.

Gotcha. Gotcha, bitch. Cats don't have lips, you fucking... You sound like a fucking idiot. Remember they used to like spank and paddle kids in school. My dad used to have to go get paddled at the front. Yeah, I bet he did. Yeah, he did.

He was a bad boy. He was a bad little boy. I smacked my hand on the microphone. That hurt. Damn, little Dale. You've been a bad boy today. Yes, I have. Just like his legs fidgeting and twisting,

and he's running his finger through his bald spot. Yes, I have. I have been. Has my dad been bald since he was a kid? Yeah. I've been a bad little boy. A bald little fat boy. My dad was never fat.

But he said that he'd smart off to the teachers and they'd send him to the front and they'd get the paddle. And the paddle had holes in it so it hurt extra bad. He'd smart off to the teachers. Then they'd J him to the front and they'd get the paddle and the paddle had holes in it so it hurt extra bad. He'd spart off to the teachers. Then they'd J off into his mouth. That's child's, that's abuse. Not when it's Dale. With Dale, it's hot. It's still pedophilia.

Nah, your dad's a man. Well, not back then. But he's a man now. Oh, I guess that's fine, yeah. So it's just funny and retro. I'm kidding. It was funny, no. Yeah, but Dale's doing, I haven't talked's just funny in retro. I'm kidding. It was funny. No. Yeah.

But Dale's still doing, I haven't talked to Dale in a while. I don't really, uh, care for the man that much. Cause he's a piece of shit. Yeah. God.

No, I'm kidding. I talked to my dad the other day. I love Dale. I love it. Yeah. We do have to every now and then be like, no,

we're kidding. Because a lot of people can be like, no, he really hates his dad. And then I imagined if my dad were to someone here, this now and then be like oh we're kidding because a lot of people are going to be like he really hates his dad and then I imagine if my dad were to see me hear this he'd be like what yeah we are I'll contradict a lot of what I say we're definitely not clear on when we're joking I love my father

and I talked to him the other night very hot very hot and heavy conversation that's damn was he touching himself yeah you know that Madonna song where she goes when I think about you I touch myself

was he circling his finger around his prostate teasing it going in a little bit as he heard your voice and heard the vibrations of your voice I'm so sorry you're so good at taking a bit and then stretching a little bit too far all right okay at first it's like oh my head horny with my dad. And then you go into graphic detail. My father fingering his anus to stimulate his prostate to the sound of my voice.

To the vibrations of your voice. Because you have such a deep voice. I'll tell you what he did. He has a little Bluetooth headpiece and he takes it off and sticks it up his ass. So then when I talk, I'm talking directly into his ass and he can feel the vibrations of his son's voice. You go, hey there, little prostate, the prostate.

Oh, just stop, stop, stop. There's only so much I can bear to think about sexually with my father. But Matthew, you wrote a damn song about it. Yeah, I did. And I'm stuck with that

for the rest of my life. I can't wait until I'm 40 and I'm just like, oh, fuck, I cannot let my kids hear this. You should play it at his funeral. That's not not i'll do a live version like next to his open casket and give him a kiss on the lips like oh i'm in love with my dad sucking my dad's toes and grabbing and actually do the actions that's going on like suck my dead dad's toes and casket

and and you can't get i don't think you can get hard when you have rigor mortis. You said his sack. Not his shaft. That's true. That's true. I could suck his shaft right there at the visitation. I mean his sack, not his shaft. Yeah.

Getting confused over here. Come on, get your lyrics together. I know them. I forget all my own lyrics. I feel like Britney Spears over here. I remember when I was a kid, I read about Spears as someone who had forgotten their own lyrics on stage and I was like what a fucking idiot but looking back I'm like

why would 100% forget my own lyrics on stage I've been to shows where the same thing happens they get kind of like in the moment they do it all the time so they're just living life when you're living that lifestyle you're touring a lot so

you're busy you're on the road so it kind of your everyday life seeps into when you're on stage so you could be drunk or maybe high you'll probably go on stage you'll be like shit fuck you know how many artists fuck up uh you can probably look it up on youtube and compilations and shit of like artists drunk on stage oh my god i've seen real life on stage i saw this band like blitzed just fucked i saw this one uh band called ice age i've seen them twice and the first time was the singer was so fucked up he uh it's it's sky sky ferrera's boyfriend and he was on stage and he was so fucked that there was one point where he was just there was just drool while he was singing come out of his mouth

and he was falling over and he was like kept falling on the mic was he on beat no he sang flawlessly didn't mess up a single word he was just fucked up well the type of music it's already like but he he was just so you could see it in his eyes like i don't even know if he was drunk he might have been like fucked up on multiple sentences. But then the second time I saw him, he was even more wasted. And this time was in LA and he fell off stage at one point. He just fell. Everyone like, they kept playing and he just gets back up and he's like,

and just kept singing. It was great. Really good performer. But it's like, I can't imagine going on tour and get that fucked up you and i get drunk on stage i think the most drunk i've ever gotten was our was the there was a drunk drawing we did that was a specific drunk drawing and i think it was the one in los angeles so the one with ross yes i think i was we all i think that's when you and ross smoked a blunt before.

Yeah. So you also were. We did. Not only did Ross drink an entire bottle of wine on stage, plus some more, he smoked a whole blunt right before. So that was the worst I've ever seen Ross. I guess I'll say the best. Because he was pretty drunk on tour at the. Oh, I don't know which show it was.

I think, yeah, the most fucked up I got was in Philly. That was the last show of our tour. That was a fun show. Yeah, I just remember not just being like, yeah, I'll just get wine drunk. But we got real, I got really drunk in that show. My favorite thing about that venue was that there's just two massive concrete pillars

in the middle of the crowd. So it's like, hey, everyone's sitting behind that. Fuck you, you're not gonna see anything. It was funny, like we would do large, like huge venues and then there would be some places where we were given kind of like the kitchen but they would just pack people in and i do i feel really you know what i mean like that there's this one place where where was it it was i i like the venue because of how small it was it was in pittsburgh pittsburgh and where

i was like really i know but then we it was. It was in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. And where I was like, really? I know. But then it was fucking awesome. It was because we were surprised because it was supposed to fit 200 people or something like that. More. Like, I think there were about 300. There was a bigger theater that they're like, we thought we could put y'all in here, but we decided to put you in the other one or something like that. It's like, yeah, I mean, there's 315 people or something coming to the show.

And I did feel bad for several shows because we don't know anything about the venues or what it's going to be like before we get there. So when people when I see that there's people that have to stand in the back and like don't actually have a seat. I hate that because that's not something we're aware of ahead of time. We're just told like, oh, a venue has like this is the capacity, like this is the amount of tickets we're going to sell. I'm like, OK, cool. And I'm assuming that's like, oh, everyone will get a seat. And then Pittsburgh,

there are people crammed in the back all standing. And I just felt, I feel bad because it's hot. And it's like, you thought you were going to get a seat. And then Nashville, we come out and everyone's just, everyone's standing. And I'm like, whoa, this isn't a concert. I think we definitely made a joke about it. Yeah, yeah.

We're like, you you guys supposed to bring your own chair but the thing is uh i gotta say nashville was one of my favorite shows nashville was really fun though it was like was it a first one or one of our first ones one of them on the southeast tour and uh nashville even though everyone was standing the energy was just so so much fun i i did like uh orlando orlando was fun i fun. I liked Orlando's venue. I don't like Orlando itself. I despise. Not despise.

I don't like Orlando as a place. I just have a weird fondness for it and I don't know why. I can't explain it. It's just. Send me there right now and I'd be like, fuck this place. Yeah, because like, I don't know. There's Disney World, which is fun. It's muggy.

There's Universal Studios Orlando, which is nice and fun. Good time with the family. I think Orlando just have like, there's just some wire in my brain that's like, just makes me think of that excitement you would get around May when the school year's ending and like summer's coming. That feeling makes me think of Orlando because I'm like, oh, we're going to go probably deep root with Disney World. you would get around may when the school year is ending and like summer's coming that feeling makes me think of orlando because i'm like oh we're gonna go probably deep-rooted with disney world orlando feels like a place where the like a movie with a plot where a whole area gets kind of brainwashed into acting kind of like creepy and just normal like everything's going all right in orlando you know what i mean it's just kind of like creepy and just normal. Like everything's going all right in Orlando.

You know what I mean? It's just kind of like everything's going fine in Orlando. Nothing to worry about over here. Then it's like, there's like a gator eating some kid who's like brainwashed. He's like, Oh, Orlando's fantastic.

I love it here. Got some good gator. Make a good movie about Orlando. Orlando. I love you orlando disney and sea world let's move to orlando no super mega to orlando no no yes no no well you you wouldn't move it to maui i said i said let's move super mega to hawaii you're like no i'm not moving to hawaii you won't do to Hawaii. You won't do Hawaii. You won't do Orlando.

You got to pick one, dude. Why can't we just, I mean, I'm not sure if I want to stay in LA forever. It's really expensive. And I, you know, there's other great cities one can live. Such as? I don't know. Seattle. No, I don't want to live in Seattle.

I want to live in San Fran. It's just expensive. I'd live, I would live in that area, but not San Francisco. Like the Bay Area? Yeah. The Bay Area, it would be really cool to go live there. But that's also expensive as shit, because you're talking about, that's a fucking Google Place, Valley, whatever it's called.

Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley. All those tech bros? Yeah. I saw all the tech bros when I was in San Fran. What does that sound? Yard work. The neighbors doing their yard work. Yes, it is. Also a leaf blower. Fantastic.

Do you notice that this shit doesn't happen except when we're recording the fucking podcast? Like, I'll be here all day and no one turns on a goddamn leaf blower why are you looking at me cross-eyed no one turns on a goddamn leaf blower but the second it's like let's record our podcast it's like I don't know cause maybe they love our podcast and they love listening

to themselves on it or it's a conspiracy against us one of our competitors like Game grumps or misfits sent them over here to turn it on while while while we're recording they're like they pay they pay these guys to walk around with leaf blowers and shit yeah i saw that uh game grumps i think is playing resident evil 3 a little too late after the game released stealing our thunder of playing games a little too late much yeah you know what we're gonna beat you we're gonna we're gonna wait a little longer yeah we're gonna release it later actually we're gonna release it i don't know within

about a week or so the hype is over for the game that's when we're gonna drop it yeah not not well the game grumps hype the hype for the game has already been done and dealt with because it released a good bit ago and it's a short game and people already played through it game grumps are late to the party now we have to be extra fucking late to the party just wait until we play uh sonic 06 you guys just fucking wait oh that leaf blower goddamn dude i know should i go tell him to suck my dick say listen man i know that we're in a pandemic and and you were working your ass off in the california heat when just to blow some assholes driveway and support your family but guess what instead of blowing his

lawn why don't you go blow his balls so I can get some peace and quiet for this podcast you bitch I'm gonna go inside and we're gonna hear oh dude I just wanna dude

I love the the fact that the mat the master I don't know why I called him the master the master of the house the owner of the

the master of the house no call him what he is the master the king of the house you've seen him before right uh the master yeah yeah he's the fucking master there's no denying that he's the short king man he's this fucking like super jacked like kind of young kind of middle-aged armenian dude who's bald with always wear sunglasses tight shirts he drives really nice car uh is renovating his house right now

to have a pool yeah and a balcony so it's like this dude also his last name we get his mail sometimes his last name is insane don't say it i can't first of all i couldn't even try oh it's it's it's a wild okay american i'm just saying it's an insane last name he's definitely the master he okay american what the hell is that, man? You're an American too. I don't think so. What are you, Palestinian? No.

Yes, you are. Somewhat, yeah. A little bit. A little bit. Well, I'm Israeli. A little tinkly. A little tinge. I like people that say that Game Grumps is Israel and Super Mega is it's more palestine you know that checks

there there was a wall between us i think uh thematically that checks brent is benjamin netanyahu with all the crimes he's committing all his corruption you know we can't get into this what what benjamin's benjamin netanyahu. Brent. Brentjaman Netanyahu. Dude, he gives us too much money for us to be talking about him like this. Yeah, you're right, man. In fact, he's been giving the money. I think that last check was so we would stop talking about him. But it looks like he might have another.

That was the biggest sum of money I've ever fucking seen, dude. I didn't know that my bank account could have that many zeros. Dude, I didn't know there were more than sextillion numbers in the numerical alphabet, dude. Dude, getting that check from Brent for seven sextillion dollars.

For nine nonadextillion. Dude, big numbers have the craziest names. Yeah, like... Okay, it's quadrillion, pentillion, hexillion, septillion. Pooptillion. That has to be a number. If there's an infinite amount of numbers, there is a pooptillion. No, there's not, because it starts following a format. And there's a infinite amount of numbers, there is a poop-dillion. No, there's not because it starts following a format.

And there's a fart-dillion. There's not. Yes, there is. No, there's not. If it's infinite, it can't just follow the same formula. Yes, it can. That means everything in existence is a number. Napkin is a number.

No, it's not. Yes, it is. What are you saying? We have to make room for the numbers. That makes no sense. It starts following a pattern where it'll just use a bunch of stems over and over again. There's not, it's not, not every word is going to be a number. It's going to be septu-tlut-gug-a-million.

Is that going to be a number? Is that what you're talking about? Quin-vig-in-til-ion. Poop-til-ion is a number. I promise you it's not. Sex-de-ca-lard is a number. That check I got from Sex-de-ca-lard. Dude, if Sex-de-ca-lard is a number. Sex-vig-in-til-ion. Poop-til-ion is definitely a number. T I got from sex decalard is a number

sex vigantillion treyvigantillion wait like treyvon treyvigantillion hey what's up it's treyvigantillion sounds like one of those football player names for a college football team that key and peel would do

sex decillion quindecillion undecillion duodecillion quadrillion damn dude aren't stars aren't there aren't there names like aren't there over a quadrillion stars that's a big fucking number do you think anyone will ever be a quadrillionaire i'll be a quadrillionaire? I'll be a poop-tillionaire. What's the... Okay, how many zeros is poop-tillion? What is... Three mega mega-Googleplex times...

Mega-Googleplex isn't a number. You're making up numbers. Ten trillion times 100,000 billion to the ninth degree. That's not a number. I can tell you what a number is called

if you give me a real one. Yeah, I know. It's called poop-tillion. It's a shit ton. I'm telling you, if you got like two poop-tillion, if you were two poop-tillionaire, you would be able to buy our universe

from who from gods can be like oh yeah that money just buy it people buy stars you can just buy stuff you don't buy stars they give their dumb asses and give money to some dude it's like yep you own it thanks for the money no if i buy a star matt it's my star i bought that giant fucking fireball my man and i named it no dirt like like no shade on anyone that's bought a star but i it's the funniest scam to me it's like dude give me money and that star's yours that that thing a billion light years away it's all yours it is yours dude it's your meanwhile you sold the same star to like 26 people you can go take a spaceship and visit your star you can live on your star if you want i'm gonna buy you a fucking star right i'm gonna buy our podcast you should buy me a dead star so i can

live on it i'm gonna buy i'm gonna buy super mega cast a star the only podcast with its own star. Make sure it's seven poop-tillion light years away. Can we buy a star and name it Poop? Someone's done that. Can we name it Big Farts? Can I name my child Poop? No, not legally. Poop McGee? Yeah. I hit my head on the wall.

I can definitely do that. No, you can't. I could. No, you legally cannot name your child an obscenity what you need about crotch rocket mcgee the government i think that's where the government has stepped one foot too far into our personal liberties if you can't name your child crotch rocket mcgee that's fucked up it's your child what about acorn can i name him you can name your kid acorn i think there's legitimate laws against profanities. How about Areola? Areola McGee.

Areola. You could do Ariel, make her middle name La, and then McGee. Areola McGee. How about Little Man 2.5? Guess what? Should I name him that, Matt? Little Man 2.5. What's the.5?

It's my kid. I can name him whatever I want. But why the.5?.5 it's my kid i get the name whatever i want but why the 0.5 maybe he's bigger than i thought he would be like big baby yeah i hate that baby i'm not i'm not even gonna be candid about i hate that baby i hate to see him on my timeline i don't want to ever see it again i think it's disgusting cut to mass figures holding the baby up in front of a video camera with a gun to its head. Matt Watson, we heard you cry. We are the clan of MW. Well, I certainly hope that people wouldn't kill a child because the funny YouTube man said he didn't like to see it on his timeline.

Too late, Matt. You already said what you said. And then they shoot the child in the head. How do you feel, Matt? Horribly. You killed Fat Baby. You had Fat Baby killed. Big Baby, not Fat Baby. I'm sorry. You know, apparently, he's actually like three.

They just shave him and put him in a diaper. Is he just a... Oh, he's not fat. He's just a big baby. He's big. Is fat not a thing anymore? No, fat's a thing. I'm looking at one right now. I'm looking at some fat right now. I know. I am fat.

Thanks. 20% off stars right now. A bit mean. 20% off stars. If I use code EIT. How much do you think Brad Pitt costs? Dude, I can buy a star for $24. Hey, how much is Elijah Wood?

You can't buy a person. You said I could buy a star. Come on. I get it. Come on. you can't buy a person you said I could buy a star come on wow you can buy the stars of the zodiac constellation how many fucking people have already done this and you get a money back guarantee I don't like my star I've been looking at it lately

binary star it's not as bright as I thought it was binary star Matt and Ryan from super mega they orbit each other and there's there's red and blue ones how much is a star matt how much how much does a star cost how much does a star go 24.90 24.90 yes that's that's that's the that is the traditional star gift pack by choosing the traditional I'm on Cosmonova.com. So you're telling me all these rich people be buying islands for like billions of dollars

when like they could go off, be conquering the universe and buying stars? Okay. You mind if I buy a star real quick? Don't buy a star. It's 24 bucks, dude. Don't buy a star. Don't 24 bucks, dude. Don't buy a star. Don't give that person money or that company money. We get a certificate in the mail that says we own a star.

If it goes to a reputable business or if it goes into research or science. Yeah, Cosmo Nova. What? Choose the brightness of the star. Okay, normal star can be seen in small villages minimal light for 15 dollars more i can choose a bright star we're in la we'd have to have a bright star we all have to get very bright or we could choose a custom star oh could we customize our star can we can we give it can we give it a can we give it a can we choose hairstyles no but i can look at a map and I can pick which star I want.

How come I can't custom create my star? They can't just go make a star for me? Alright, I chose a very bright star. Name of the star. We're not buying a star. It's not real. It's not our star. Yes, it is.

I'm going to have a fucking certificate that will say it's my star. Who cares? What about a marriage certificate? That says that you're married. Yeah will say it's my star. Who cares? What about a marriage certificate that says that you're married? Yeah, but that's legally binding. This is legally binding. No, it's not. Yes, it is. You can't fucking buy a star. Yes, I want them. What do you think I'm doing right now? You can't fucking decide. Like, that's

where you know humans are so fucking, like, stupid. We're going to go buy stars? No. We're not buying buying stars that's not anyone's star dude but for 20 go take the star for a walk for 20 for 20 bucks i can add a 0.75 inch thick black frame to my certificate oh come on i can get a physical copy of the star map too could you imagine like another alien out there? Like another alien species? Like buy a planet so technically we're just some

like douchebags planet. He technically owns us. Is that how that works? Yeah. No! I'd honor it. You know what Ryan? Yeah. I'm gonna name this star Ryan McGee. Alright. Alright.

How's that make you feel? I mean, that means you're gonna have a certificate that says a star is named Ryan McGee. I'm getting my own Ryan McGee star. Just so you know out there, you look up at the night sky, 40 years after I'm dead, you're gonna say, you know, up there in the heavens is Ryan McGee. That's not what happens when you buy a star.

You don't buy a star. Who owns the stars? I own the stars! Whose stars are they to sell, Matt? I own it now. Whose star are they to sell? Who owns the star first off, right? This is a transaction. You're buying the star. Who has the star?

Who has the star to start off with, Matt? Okay. God made the stars God made this website did he set up the website technically yes because God made everything so God technically made the website so you're buying a star from God

20-odd billion details and hold on dude this person didn't have to do anything imagine like there are people growing crops having to buy seeds put time into like nurturing it from the ground up maybe they should sell stars yep that's my star i'll sell it for 30 bucks come on no well i didn't spend 30 bucks ryan i got the certificate and i and i chose a brighter why can't you just say it's your star without like he said they're his

stars why can't you don't even have to buy it you can just go that's the Ryan McGee star I named that that's my star that's what he did it's not official it's not official that's what he fucking did no it's not those are my stars they don't have names yet I'm gonna sell them to people for 24

whatever the fuck it is don't buy a star, Matt. Proceed to PayPal. Stop! You're wasting money. I want to get the Ryan McGee star. I want to be able to own your star. I'm going to own your star too. What do you mean you're going to own my star? You don't own shit. You own a plaque.

You're just paying for the plaque. No, I'm paying for the fucking star. No, you're not! Please, Ant. Hold on, dude, no. PayPal, I'm getting my password real quick. Don't waste your money! That's why it's aggravating, I don't want you to waste your money! Dude, I'm wasting my money just to just to show you, just to teach you a lesson.

You could buy, like, a bunch of McDonald's with that. Oh yeah, that's not a waste of money? A bunch of McDonald's? You're feeding yourself at least, you're- With shit! Yeah, with shit, but at least it keeps you going. Hold on. Now I, instead of, oh, I could put a bunch of cancerous shit in my body.

Or I could look up at the night sky with my son two decades from now and say, see that? That's Ryan McGee. Dude, you're setting me up to die soon. You could already be dead. You're setting me up to die before you even get this plaque because the thing is I'm going to die then the plaque's going to come to remind you of my death. Well let's not. You're putting bad energy

in the universe. You're putting bad energy by saying that. I never even thought of that. No that's the way these things work. You make a move. What do you mean my order was cancelled? Oh why did it cancel my order? Oh sorry we uh we ran out of stars. We got to go collect more.

I'm going to get on that side. It would say our stock is low on stars. Hurry up. Low on stars. Can you buy? Can you buy stars on Amazon Prime now? It's like only two left. You can order.

We'll restock by May 15th. Well, I'm going to buy a star. Sorry. I don't want to enter all my details on the podcast. After the podcast, I'll do it though. And I'm going to own Ryan McGee. I'm going to own so I can be like, yeah, I own Ryan McGee. You can just own it now by going, that's Ryan McGee. That's my star.

Could they technically sell the sun on one of those websites? It's a star. It's premium. It's going to cost you more. Do you think the United States thinks it owns the sun? Or do you think any world leaders like they think like the world like Earth owns the sun or there's any ownership of the sun? Or do you think most leaders are OK with knowing that it's just kind of like this ball of fire that is in the sky? That's interesting.

Or do you think they're like, no, we own the moon because they people tried to own the fucking moon. Well, Trump actually signed an executive order just in the last few weeks, allowing the United States to claim the moon for mining. Mining for what? Rocks. For moon rocks to stay out of gift shops in Myrtle Beach. But there's going to definitely be a big fight over like who owns the moon at some point. Who owns the sun? But I wonder if that's going to happen. We're going to because we need to steal the helium for our balloons we're running low on

helium helium is one of the most uh uh fleeting resources on our planet we're gonna run out of helium one day james cameron is gonna james cameron is gonna want to hold a birthday party for like one of his children and he's gonna realize there's no more helium in balloons which leads him on to go on an expedition to create the world's first space shuttle that can survive the heat and intensity of the sun so he can go collect helium. He's going to go inside the sun

to get helium for his kid's birthday party. Yep. And he's going to make a movie about it and everything. No, it's an easy solution. If he doesn't want to get burned, he should just go at night. That's a little laugh would be nice. I'll throw in some laughs

there. Here, watch this. Now you laugh a little. Ha. Okay, I'll put all of those laughs in there. Thank you, man. And I'll also include us recording them.

Thank you, man. Yeah. That makes me feel really good. I guarantee that busted someone's side out there. I bet you it busted someone's nut as well. Yeah, it probably did. I'm sure there's people that are jerking off while they're listening, but not on purpose. They just left it on while they're.

Well, they're. You better finish. Come on. Surprise, Matt. What? A conversation that doesn't bleed well from the last one. How are you doing? I'm doing pretty good, man.

You asked me that already, though. So why don't you actually fucking think of something to talk about? Well, maybe you felt different and I was just asking. Well, I'm feeling pretty good knowing that by tonight I'm'm going to own my very own star named Brian McGee. Don't waste money, dude. Don't waste money. It's $98, dude. 98?

It's 98 fucking dollars. I thought it was 20 something. That's where they get you, dude. You're like, see, I want a brighter star. See, what this company did was smart. They bought stars for 20 cents per star. And now they're upcharging stars for like 100 bucks. I am sorry. Buying stars is so fucking stupid.

Even though I'm going to do it. Because you're realizing that it means nothing. You're not doing anything but giving your money away to someone. Can I use business money? Can I use some company money for that? No. You're giving your money away to someone if you buy a star unless it goes to like scientific

research or like a museum maybe that would be funny you know if some museums use it as a way to advertise like hey you know you can buy a star you can have fun with museums because we talked about it on the podcast so I think I should if the IRS if you're quote unquote buying a star

then you're using your own wallet yes I're quote unquote buying a star then you're using your own wallet yes I am quote unquote buying a star and I'm going to use the company money because it's named no you're not going to use the IRS comes knocking on the door and says what is this you purchased a star named Ryan McGee

yeah it's for the business and I'll show them the fucking certificate and they'll say oh yep you're right you're not spending a hundred dollars of company money on a on nothing on the air i want to buy a star and then i want to fucking i want to take my certificate to the courthouse and be and i just want to ask like what standing does this have and no standing i'm gonna go see those motherfuckers i'm gonna say so you're telling me i didn't actually buy a star are you what what do you mean i don't own it do you even know where the star is what do you mean i don't own four quadrillion cubic meters of of burning gas seven billion light years away what the fuck

oh it did go wait what please don't tell no it did go through it did go through did you buy it through please don't tell me your star is in the sky did you use company money no i used my own debit card look prove it your star is in the sky i don't know it said canceled i don't know why it went through matt your star is registered. Congratulations. Your star, now officially named Ryan McGee, shines in the sky. Now let us fulfill your products. In the next email, you'll receive your tracking number and confirmation that your package has been shipped, and you can find

your digital certificate in the attachments. Ryan, I would like you to, uh... I'd like you to take a little look at something for me, okay? This is ridiculous. Hey, do you need to put on your glasses? You bought nothing.

You literally just threw money into a furnace. Take a look at that. Take a look at that. Oh, my God. It's a certificate for a store. Read it. Read it. Read it out loud to me I can't wait to see the look on your face

the certificate proves that the star named Ryan McGee with coordinates RA 17 hours 49 minutes 51 seconds December negative the degrees whatever was registered in the database of star register constellation Scorpius registered degrees, whatever, was registered in the database of Star Register.

Constellation Scorpius. Registered. God. See? Congratulations, you own a star! You look like a real fucking jackass. Fuck. Here, I'm gonna I'm gonna read out the coordinates

for everybody so everyone knows exactly where in the sky so you can look up look up in the sky it's it's oh my god

it's in Scorpius uh okay ready RA17H 49M 51S December negative 37 degrees It's in Scorpius. Okay, ready? R-A-17-H-49-M-51-S December, negative 37 degrees, two feet, 35 inches. That's it. All right.

Well, that's the star. I don't understand how it said that I canceled my order and then like minutes later, it's like, thank you. Well, they can't be too picky about where the money comes from, right? Yeah. Well, in three to four business days,

I'll have an official framed certificate that I will be hanging up in our office. I hope it says you're the owner on the like. It does. It's the same one. It says my name and it says I am the owner of Ryan McGee, of the star named ryan mcgee so when you're driving home at night

just know whether the star out there with your name you have a whole star named after you man thanks man you're welcome i mean it'd be really cool if you could you know maybe show your friendship back by Like buying you a... Maybe buy me one even brighter. Just a thought. Yeah, maybe, my man, maybe. I'm gonna start buying everyone stars. No.

I feel bad because there's people out there that have bought stars for like significant others. And it's sweet. And it's... It's a sweet sentiment, you know? It's the sentiment. That's what sweet sentiment. It's the sentiment. That's what it is.

It's the sentiment. It makes it seem more grounded in reality when you have a certificate, you know? I, I think you're like, I bought a star. Yeah. And like,

like give it, this is mine. Cause there's someone's gonna be like, you know, Matt, I bought when my grandma was on her death, but I bought her a star in her honor. And I'm like,

that's very sweet. And I don't want to downplay that. I like to think that she's living on that star and looking down for me and I look up at that star and I go I miss you grandma and the star just goes no it's a very sweet sentiment

and if someone my mom's listening right now like she already bought me a star for next time I come home and she's like, oh, okay. I would feel very sad. You can sleep easy knowing there's a burning ball of hydrogen and helium out there. That you bought. With real money.

Who knew something that ginormous and amazing could just, would be sold for a mere $100? I'm in shock right now. It feels good. Well, I guess that's about all the time we got today. Yeah. But go look up those coordinates. Go see if you guys can. I'm curious if people can actually like send us pictures of you looking up in the night sky and you finding.

If any of you can actually find, like if you have a telescope with like a protractor tool, whatever tools you fucking nerds use to look into the sky. If you can find the star and take a picture, I would love to. I want to see Ryan McGee. I want to see it. I hope you don't die now. I hope I didn't just will something into existence I don't think so I mean I did cut my thumb open this morning

What does that have anything to do with I'm surprised I didn't mention it at all in this podcast actually Until now That's the big cliffhanger We're going to name the podcast like Something about waiting until the end Like Ryan's Ryan did what to himself

And everyone's like And he's like yeah I cut my finger this morning like Ryan's Ryan did what to himself? And everyone's like, oh! And he's like, yeah, I cut my finger this morning. Yeah, just opening the plastic wrap on the carton of pre-rolls. Oh, so that's what you get, you little junkie. See?

That's what happens when you use drugs. Cut yourself. It sucks, man. It's my game and thumb. I can't record games right now because... What? That's your gay man thumb? Bye, everybody. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs

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