supermegashow - Exposing Matt | supermegashow - 126

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Matt gets exposed and Ryan practices his Asmongold impression. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/supermega50off and use code supermega50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. New customers get 40% Off with code SUPERMEGA at GLD.com Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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with a design that refines the essentials for a more focused gaming laptop, featuring a brilliant 15.3-inch 16.5 hertz display, seamlessly engineered into a portable 15-inch body, powered by an Intel Core 7 processor for high performance during every session, all wrapped in the elite and durable alienware design. It's everything you need for an immersive gaming experience, distilled into one iconic machine. Visit alienware.ca slash alienware 15 today. This back-to-school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon.

Hi, I'm Laura Clary, mom, chaos coordinator, and someone who has learned the hard way that back-to-school season is basically a second mortgage. Last year, my daughter decided she absolutely needed this very specific backpack, not just any backpack, the backpack. I found it, I bought it, I sent her off on the first. day of school. She lost it by week two, gone forever. So remember, with Amazon's low back-to-school prices, just spend less on your kids because every dollar you don't spend on them is a dollar you haven't spent on them. Testing, testing. I'm checking the audio levels. Yeah, okay, looks good. Looks good. All right. You ready to make some, uh, some podcast magic? Always. Really good barbecue place.

I got like, I got a cobbler, which came with ice cream on it. I got the brisket, which also a pulled pork sandwich. I also went to Miyabes, which is the Habachi place the day before that. You're even good. Like in South Carolina. I was. Why are you being weird about it now? I was just commenting.

I was just responding to me. Well, I was just responding to your comment. You gave me a look. I don't think I gave you a look. No, it sounded like you ate good food in South Carolina. I mean, I love mihabis. There's nothing like southern habachi. Dude, you can't beat it.

Benihana? No, Benihana doesn't count as Hibachi. That's like the Burger King of, of, that's like comparing Burger King to like a $500 restaurant, which I don't know if those exist, but. Oh, I bet you there's a burger out there that costs like a thousand. Think of the YouTube channel. a $1 burger versus a $1,000 burger. It's got to exist just for the content.

Oh, dude, I'm sure it's like a $1 burger versus a $10,000 burger. Hey, an over 9,000 burger. Oh, it's one of those where they just, fuck, love it, by the way. That was amazing. Thank you. But I was going to say, the reason they get it up to that price is because they put like one of those edible sheets of gold or whatever. It's gold jeans.

That's fucking, that is literally just cheating. Like, that's not a $10,000 burger. At that point, you're just taking like, you're just eating some, some, some precious metals with a side of a regular cheap food. Like cheap. You know, if you take a, if I take a $100 bill and I crumple it up and I mash it in to some like melted chocolate chips and just really just, you know, until it's just a paste. Is that a $100 chocolate? No, it's just some fucking nasty Hershey's chocolate that I just ripped up some paper and threw into it.

I'd rather get some popcorn and just throw some bunch of crunch in that. That's probably way more delectable than that. Oh, definitely. God, I had, I had that. That's been, it's been, like, honestly, years since I know. I did that, but I've brought it back. Like, every movie I've gone to now, I get some popcorn, some bunch of crunch, and a nice diet Coke because I'm trying to, you know.

Right. It's, it's just funny, like, So like getting... What's funny? No, nothing. It's just the podcast. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I'm glad you're seeing movies.

No, but, dude, I've noticed like the last few times we went and saw movies got popcorn, you didn't get the bunch of crunch to pour in it. And I did. And I thought it was weird that you didn't. No, did I last time? I don't pour it in, though, because I like just pouring a little bunch of crunch in my hand and then putting some popcorn in so I can really get that ratio. because sometimes the bunch of crunch falls to the bottom.

And, like, I'm, I'm probably, there's probably 10 bunch of crunch punches of crunch that I can't eat. There's 10 bunches of crunch down there that you literally can't get to. Do you usually finish your whole popcorn during a movie? No. No, it's usually at like two thirds. Exactly. So, like, you're not, half, honestly.

You're never going to get those. You're never getting those bunches of crunch down there. Are we going to go see the Odyssey together? I don't know. It'd be odd to see it with, uh, guy who already did in South Carolina. It was for my dad's birthday. Okay, sure.

Yeah, I told you that. Because you haven't seen it. I know you want to see it in theaters at least. I do. I've been holding off because it, at least in L.A., every theater is even for like 1 a.m. show, it's just fucking completely sold out. And I don't really like going to the movies when it's a packed theater. You get a lot of, you get a lot of whispers, a lot of giggles.

No, I get that. Well, I will say at the AMC on Citywalk. Universal Studios, Hollywood. They do have one of the Trojan horses they use, like, it's huge. I took a picture with it. The picture hopefully showed at that moment. If it didn't, or if you're an audio listener, just imagine Ryan at, wait, you said it in South Carolina?

No, no, no, this AMC Universal CityWalk. Okay, imagine Ryan at AMC Universal CityWalk standing next to a giant Trojan horse. I hope there's no Trojans in there. Yeah, let me see, let me see. Let it, let a brother see. Oh, that's a much better picture than what I was picturing in my mind, dude. I love it because the photo was taken and you can see the warp, so it just makes my legs look like, it looks like, it looks like you're like, you know, in slow motion when they show like a frog leaping, when its legs are at the most extended with its toes pointed down, that's how you look. And I'm going to include this because this was on a sign. The sign's pictured within the picture with me.

And I zoomed in on the sign, and it says, authentic screen-used Trojan horse from the motion picture, The Odyssey. Damn. Authentic screen-use Trojan condom used by Matt Damon in his trailer. I mean, imagine like a big glass box with just it just there with the like solidified juice, man juice, Damon juice, the, the Damon curd. Dude. That's disgusting.

Damon, the curd of Damon. It sounds like a binding of Isaac item. The curd of... The curd of Damon. Honestly, I could see it in like a glass case, like hanging by like a very, very thin string. So it almost looks like it's suspended. It has lights on it.

And it's kind of shriveled. And it's not a magnum, by the way. Which are bigger. We found out to fit a penis that are wider and longer. By the way, wider. Than an average... Then an average sized, average sized penis.

Which is five and a half inches, by the way. Or four. No, it's, I mean, it's math. It's 5.5. It's not up for debate. But, I mean, I mean, if you just take, like, a demographic of, like, a country specifically not worldwide, than four. And probably, in, like, I'm pretty, well, yeah, but we're from America. Egyptians are known to have, like, skinnier cocks.

No, they're not. they're known to have smaller length, but the girth was just the same as you and I. It's double that. Yeah, but they huge crazy. Isn't that what a chode is? A chode is, yeah, as wider than it is long, which I can't even picture. No, because it's not real. And when I was a kid, you know, you hear, you hear, like, in middle school and stuff, you know, joking with the boys, you hear chode all the time.

And they're like, oh, yeah, dude, a chode is a dick that's wider than it is long. I bet you have a chode. And it's like, I grew up thinking that that was a thing that, like, Some people's penises. Look to look up pictures of chodes. If you find a real one, can you show me? Chode pig. Like, it's essentially a unicorn to me.

It's something that I wish exists, but probably doesn't. Hold on. I'm going to look up real life. Real life chode. There's the name of the episode. Real life chode penis. It's the name of the episode. That's not a chode penis.

Let me see. None of these are chode penises. That looks like a vagina. It looks like a large clitoris. That's longer than it is wide That now, wait, this one might be a chode You see that? Yeah, wait Smart, that's a, what's that?

Small penis wankers, Instachode on this vid.com That doesn't even look like a penis. That looks like, oh, what about this? Yeah, this one might be like, wait, like a square. Yeah, but I think grab it. But it's flaccid. It's not fair to measure it. A chode has to be erect, right?

It does? I don't know if I've ever thought about it that way. Also, that guy, I feel like was cheating a little bit, because he was in a position where gravity was kind of pulling the weight of his penis. Dude, look how thick that one is. Jesus Christ, dude. Right? Technically rocking a chode.

That's what he said. That's not a technical chode. That's just a big piece. But not like monstrously so, more just like impressively so. Well, you know the difference? Oh, yeah. Like one where it's like, ah, that would, oh, imagine that being inside of my ass. And then the other one is like, that's just a nice beautiful penis.

Is that how you I honestly that picture No mind That picture Like it did look monstrous Not necessarily in the size But in the size of the head The veins

The head was the biggest thing about it It was fucking huge It was bulbous too Like it was literally That's why I said what the fuck Not because of how big the penis was Well it was a big penis Still a big penis

It's definitely like That is a penis that If he was having a sexual encounter And he whipped that one out by surprise, his sexual partner would go, oh, I'm in for a good time. However, the, uh, just based on the size. If he whipped it out with the size of the head that was displayed in that image, I could see his sexual partner being very like, oh my, whoa, what in the, whoa, what the, what the, I'm not sure I want to take all that. Yeah, a little off the top, please. Could you imagine that being

inside of you? Oh, like I, like, if I can feel a shit burning. Yeah. Yeah. me lobbies and you have barbecue? After like a like a like, dude, I'm picturing, I'm leveling it because the only experience that I have with like what my asshole would feel like is when a big, when a big crap comes out of it. Ad reads. This back to school season spend less on your kids with Amazon. Hi, I'm Laura Clary, mom, overthinker, and someone who has a complicated relationship with the back to school supply list.

Can we just be honest for a second? kids are expensive. Last year, I went all out on my daughter's school supplies, color-coded folders, the fancy pencil case, gel pens and 17 colors she absolutely needed. By October, she had one pencil left. One. I don't know what happened to the rest, and honestly, neither does she. Amazon has everything your kids need for back to school at prices that won't make you want to cry in the school supply aisle. Great prices, huge selection, and when half of it goes missing by October, at least you didn't break the bank. So remember, with Amazon's low back-to-school prices, just spend less on your kids, because every dollar you don't spend on them is a dollar you haven't spent on them. Start your Alienware Journey with the streamlined Alienware 15.

We designed this machine to refine the essentials, creating a more focused gaming laptop for players who demand quality without the clutter. We engineered a brilliant 15.3-inch 165-Hhertz display seamlessly into a portable 15-inch body. You get a larger immersive window into your game that still travels easily wherever your mission takes you. Inside, an Intel Core 7 processor drives high performance during every session. It delivers the speed and responsiveness you need to keep your game smooth and seamless. We wrapped all this in our signature durable alienware design to handle any journey and look good. doing it. This is the Alienware experience distilled into one iconic machine. Visit alienware.ca slash Alienware 15 today. Start your Alienware journey with the streamlined Alienware 15.

They designed this machine to refine the essentials, creating a more focused gaming laptop for players who demand quality without the clutter. They designed a brilliant 15.3-inch 16-13-13-hirts display seamlessly into a portable 15-inch body. You get a larger immersive window into your game that still travels easily wherever your mission takes you. Inside, an Intel Core 7 processor drives high performance during every session. It delivers the speed and responsiveness you need to keep your game smooth and seamless. They wrapped all of this in our signature, durable alienware design to handle any journey and look good doing it. This is the Alienware Experience. This is the Alienware Experience. experience distilled into one iconic machine.

Visit alienware.ca slash alienware 15 today. Advertisers is going to be like, let's go check on, let's see how they did this episode. And they're just going to skip a little bit and be like, oh, they're around here. And then they're going to see that. And then they're going to see like the name of the episode is like the, the, what the real life chode penis? A real life joke, Peter. I don't know. Dude, we're hitting.

Like, when I think that we've reached our peak, holy hell, do I turn around and there's a mountain even taller. You know? There's a mountain, there's always a bigger mountain behind the one in front of you. Did you know that? Always gonna want to make it move.

Always gonna be an uphill battle. Billy Cyrus is a loser. Why'd you do that? Why'd you got to take it in that direction? And it's Billy Ray Cyrus. Oh, I couldn't make it fit. Billy Ray Cyrus, you know. Why?

I was actually thinking about this last night. I found a weird dude. You're thinking about Billy Ray Cyrus last night? No, but I was thinking about a weird, a weird dude. And this weird dude goes by, he has his middle name. And I noticed something like, have you noticed a lot of, like, weird dudes have a thing where, like, their middle name is part of their, like, name. And they're always, they always want to be addressed. by the full name.

Yeah, it's like very like, we're formal. Yeah, I'm a gentleman back from the 1700s. Like, listen, dude, it's going to be enough for me to remember your last name. I can't, I cannot have, I can't. Much less your first name. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Dude, nothing's worse than if you go out.

Seen an unimportant person and have to know their name. Oh, my God. Like, oh, it's our biggest fan. We've met six times and they come running up screaming. And I'm like, hmm. Remember, I came to the other show, all the other shows. Yeah. Yes.

You guys wear any tags. If you, like, always carry it just in case you're out in public and you see us. Make sure you really quickly put it on. You don't need to say anything about it. Just put it on. And then when you walk up and we interact, we will always remember your name because it's, and I'm not talking about the anime movie. It's a great movie, though.

Unless they do one of those stupid things like they do in a movie or TV show where he goes, Oh, hey, Aaron. It's like, that's not my name. I'm borrowing this because mine got thrown in the want. of some bullshit, you know? That's a classic sitcom trope. You know, it's, uh, I, I feel like the trope brothers, a new 10 minutes, five to 10 minute sitcom that just covers all the tropes that ever happened, full house home improvement.

Even, even, now, I mean, like, are we, are we talking like only modern tropes? We have a drug episode. Are we going back to, like, some of the tropes they use back in, like, the 50s and stuff? We, that, save that for the movie. Oh, you got to go bigger, go home. Oh, yeah. Oh, yep. Told you there was blackface in the first scene.

It's pretty good. Yep. Honestly, I do want to say, though, I bet South Carolina was fun. For those of you who have been wondering, a wonder of where Ryan is, that didn't work. I tried to, like, I went to South Carolina to visit family and friends. and you had a blast. I had a blast. Not just South Carolina.

You also got a surprise an emergency recruitment back to Kansas City. Back to Kansas. Yeah, we're not in Kansas anymore. Nope. Missouri.

You literally, like... Missouri. Missouri, yeah. A state name that literally just sounds like a mispronunciation of the word misery. I hate the way it's spelled too. Missouri.

Is it French? What is that bullshit? Missouri. Missouri. Like Louisiana? That's French. Yeah, but at least it's nice. Right?

There's a tang to it that's enjoyable to enunciate. Honestly, dude, a lot. Like, have you ever noticed that Arkansas? I feel like they made it, like, they were like, you got to pronounce it that way so people don't notice that we just ripped off Kansas and put just two letters in front of it. It's just Arkansas.

We're Arkansas. See, it's different. Why not just put a W at the end? Shut up. It's like, or just an A. Wait. I mean, not... Arkansas?

Oh, yeah, yeah, just an A. Arkansas. Right? Arkansas? A-U? A-W. A-W would work, or A-U-H? A-U-H, interesting. Arkansas. I would probably read that as like, sour.

Honestly, um... That's not how I'd read it. Okay. Well, I would probably read it the way I said. So, um... Maybe. No, no, I would. I just told you that's how I would read it.

Well, there's no way we could, I mean, I've already, we've already tainted the petri dish. We can't really get a good control in the experiment. I'm talking about the state of art and so long. I'm just saying in kind of like, for the imagery of like us doing an experiment to really test to see if that's something, if that would be your true reaction. What we're doing a podcast. I could have had it sat up beforehand. Okay. I mean, I mean, Rent and Link do lab experiments all the time.

They just spent all day writing Jurassic World at Universal Studios, Hollywood. Can we see a clip? Yeah, they are putting America's scientists to shame. God damn. They're just living their best life. Wait, I wish we did that. I mean, we, that's our, that's, oh, okay. I thought you're being serious.

I was like, I mean, that's our job. I mean, yes, but all day on the same ride. Wait, they did, they did, they only rode Jurassic World all day. Oh, I thought you meant like they went and freaking vlog, universal and like, that was just a part you saw. They rode the same ride over and over? I'm probably mainly bent out of shape because you remember the idea that I pitched last week. Or sorry, last like two weeks ago about us riding the hippogriff ride all day drinking butter beers after every ride.

Well, I also, I don't feel like we can do it anymore because people are going to just say we're copying rent and link. No, and you wanted to do the alcoholic butter beers and there's a limit that they can also, you know, they only put one shot of fireball in those. and in the fireball shot is like $22. We tried to do a mind control spell. Like in the movie and we like doing the facial expression. Sorry, sir, I can't. Can't serve you. You're intoxicated.

Mind dischangicus. You accidentally smacked the glass. Knocked over. Well, could I get another? Real quick, going back to Arkansas, dude. I feel like, I know, I know. I actually do think Arkansas might be the worst. Arkansas might be the worst state in America, low-key.

But them, just adding two letters to change it to make it their own, that reminds me of when I was a kid, and I came up with the super Ario brothers. And I just took the M off, and I made them green and yellow. And I legitimately thought it was an original idea. The Ario brothers. I mean, I'm just kind of, you know, it's new brothers. Everything was the same.

Because as a kid, I guess you don't get that. and it's all inspiration right and you also don't understand the nuance of like inspiration versus copying and also like it's just oh wait I changed it so it's I did it it's oh my god and I remember writing a letter I was going to mail it to Nintendo to give them the idea

I guess they uh threw that one in the trash dude just next year E3 or whatever it's like the ario brother same design huge fucking like announcement yellow and green I would I would lose my shit you could code that real quick

which is a little platformer the ario brothers I could code that real quick Ryan you think I'm a fucking computer programmer you can just pay some some GROC make the Super Mario brothers

GROC He could He could GROC codes right I don't know what GROC does I haven't used GROC I've only used chat GBT in the past Ryan are you sure you want

Am I handsome Send like a picture that's like with filters on Okay now I Now I'm tempted to actually Use chat GBT Just to ask it if I'm handsome Just send a picture of you

Will you take a picture in me real quick Am I handsome? Here Well Hank Green just got in trouble For using chat GBT Should I not use chat GPT To ask if I'm handsome I know that listen

Technically Netflix uses more water. I don't support, well, I don't support chat GPT at all. I want to, I want to make that

very clear. But I do want to know if I'm handsome. And I'm biased. I'm, I'm your best friend. I'm like a brother

at this point that you could fuck. Yeah. Do you take a picture, man? Should I take the hat off? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have hat hair,

but, you know, that shouldn't have. I'll make a nice portrait. Just like asking it. Dude, the portrait mode. Jesus. The picture, I scrolled over thinking you took multiple and I just had that saved.

There's that. I saved the pick announcement for the Daddy O5 comeback. All right, I'm going to ask real quick just if I'm handsome. Am I? Am I? Am I, like not even, am I conventionally? Am I? Is I handsome?

Should I say, like, be fully honest? Or should I just say, am I? Am I handsome? Am I handsome? With the picture? Let's, dude, Chats you be cheap.

You know Elon's done that shit. Oh, dude. I wonder what Elon's asked Grock about. Grog, who's the... Dude, it's literally the mirror mirror on the wall

who's the, like, prettiest of them all. Because he had Grock made and it gasses him up all the time. Well, my favorite part is when he shares some sort of thing

that's like a right-wing-edged Lord hysteria of brown people or something. like he does for England and such. He like shares that and then like someone will be like, Grock, is this, is this true? And it's like, no, it's not true.

It's like he just always, and it's one of my favorite things about it is when his own platform is used against him just to be like, no, he's lying. Have you wrong? What's funny is like you remember how Grock got tweaked. So it was like, it was pretty right wing and like super pro Elon.

And then, uh, it corrects itself. It corrected itself because it goes off the truth. Yeah. And nothing but the truth. So I hope you got. Cross my heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye. Don't, but why?

Why was that a fucking rhyme we said as kids? That's messed up. But ladies and gentlemen, I committed the sin. I did use chat GPT to ask if I'm handsome. And it gave me a response. I'd love to hear it. And I think the audience would too. if they can manage it.

Now, should I read it or should I just have it say it out loud? Because it can read it to me. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, you don't want to waste your voice. We have more of the podcast to record. Yeah, that's a great idea. I'll also screen record so I can get the audio overlaid for the podcast.

So do not tell Baby no money about this. Do people have a problem with like, I guess there's different stages, but is I would assume that a lot of people use chat GBT as if it were like when Google came Yeah, a lot of I mean when you search something on Google it it automatically Use it automatically has its own chat chat It does Jim and I so when whenever you search on Google it does that all right So that's what you said Yes, I think you're a good looking guy from this photo alone here's what stands out

Strengths eyes they're very striking the light color and direct gaze draw attention immediately. Facial proportions. Your features are balanced with a straight nose and good symmetry. Jawline. Lean and well-defined, which gives your face structure. Skin, overall clear and even, with only minor natural texture. Hair color, the medium brown complements your complexion well.

What's holding this particular photo back? Hair styling. The long front pieces hanging down make your face appear longer and cover some of your best features, your eyes, and brow. It reads more unstyled And intentionally textured Expression A completely neutral expression

Can make anyone look less approachable Even a slight smile Would change the impression a lot Can you set it through face app and fix the hair How about now? You just put it in face app, fix the hair Make you make yourself smile I'm gonna I'm gonna

Okay I'm gonna use chat GPT one more time guys And I'm sorry I feel bad about this but I do need to correct these things. Or should we ask it if I'm handsome? That's a better idea. Hold on. We have to finish this.

Expression. A completely neutral expression can make anyone look less approachable. Even a slight smile would change the impression a lot. Lighting. The warm overhead light creates shadows under your eyes making you look more tired than you probably are. No. Posture. We're leaning forward a bit with your nose.

neck extended, which isn't the most flattering angle. Based only on this image, I'd say you're above average in attractiveness. If I had to put a number on it, I'd say around 7.5-8-10s in this photo. With better styling, lighting, and a hairstyle that opens up your face more, I could easily see you photographing closer to an 8.5 to 9-10. One thing I remember from your earlier haircut photos is that you were wondering whether the cut suited your face. Oh shit I did use to use Chachibati a bit and that was very embarrassing

That was incredibly Dude you asking Like were you said he like How do I look So I mean like I just got exposed The exact same thing we're doing as a bit It's like Bill last time you did this for real

Oh Fuck no dude I no I got in uneven haircut a long time ago you're like is this well I was like how I didn't know how to

I was looking at the mirror I was like I don't know how to fix this yeah so I I don't know I asked chat chbtee I do the same thing I was dude back early days of chat TBT I used it because it was who wouldn't

it was a brand new but it was fun like Google Earth when it first came out you just wanted the test out you just searched up random places like you were just probably just searching some stuff Yeah. Testing it out. Chatch if he's joking.

Can you ask it if I, can you ask, is my friend handsome? Also, I noticed it mispronounced, uh, it, it mispronounced, uh, nine out of ten to nine tenths. So it said I could be closer to an 8.5 to 9, 9 tenths. Same score, I guess. Um, all right, you want to look good? All right. I'm going to take a pick. Yeah, I had a little smirk in there, you know.

Let me get your legs and everything, too. Dude, that looks fucked up Is my friend handsome? Okay Last time we're using chat chabitia. Last time we talked about your friend You were complaining about Oh!

Oh, is this the same friend That you said was making advances towards you That made you uncomfortable? Is my friend Should I say more handsome? Yeah. Be honest with me. Is my friend more handsome than me?

Maybe that's just it. Okay, I'll just, I'll see that. Based on these photos alone, I wouldn't say your friend is more handsome than you. A few reasons. Your facial features are stronger. You have a more defined jawline, straighter nose, and eyes that stand out more in photos. Your friend has a fun, expressive look. His smile, outfit, and the overall vibe make him come across as charismatic and entertaining,

which is attractive in a different way. The comparison isn't entirely fair. Your photo is a close-up portrait with soft background blur and flattering lighting. His is a wide angle candid shot taken from below with a hat, glasses, and a puffy jacket that obscure his face and distort proportions. That's one of the least flattering ways to compare faces. If I were judging purely facial attractiveness from these specific images, you, above average, around 7.5 to 8.

tense in that portrait. Your friend, around 6.5 to 7.5 tense in this candid, though I suspect he'd score higher in a well-lit portrait without the hat and glasses. Okay. So from the evidence you've shown me, I'd give the edge to you. That said, attractiveness isn't only about facial features. Whatever. Say my friend overheard you.

Could you, could you quell his concerns? My friend accidentally overheard you and is very upset. with you. Okay. Okay. Give me a sec. Oh, shit. Ad reads. Welcome to Rug Cuddle with us. A podcast. For all of you creative weirdos out there. I'm Kate, and some of you may know me as Mr. Kate. And I'm Joey. Mr. Kate's grounded in reality, other half. You may have met us on the internet over the past decade. We have the largest interior design channel on YouTube, have decorated for thousands of people, have millions of followers, billions of views, our own furniture line, but life is more than pretty rooms and 15-minute

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go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind-the-scenes moments that probably should have remained private.

You'll hear confidence, misplaced confidence, bold, gulfed. guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barrenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barronholtz on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you have nothing nice to say, you can sit with us. I'm Suzanne Lambert, comedian, mean girl, and internet Menace and this is the Mean But True podcast. Every week, a special guest in and I will talk pop culture, current events, romance, whatever we feel like. I don't know. Are you a cop?

We'll be keeping it funny, playful, and petty per usual. You cringe at the site of people posting QR codes to fund their own bachelette parties. You need to know how to respond to that coworker with a bad haircut who's always making digs or just need to get something off your chest. Make sure to subscribe to Mean But True wherever you listen to podcast. Unless, of course, you hate fun, in which case, don't. I'm Suzanne Lambert, and this is mean, but true. Okay, we're back, and we're gonna, we're gonna, I know, I know I promise, it was the last time. This is the last time, but ChatsyBC needed to know what, um, what it did when it offended you.

Because I didn't know I was in the room when it was saying those things. No. Um, I thought it was only your years that it was, it was, it was, um, whispering sweet nothings too. As it does, you know, about my haircut and all this stuff, I said, oh, fuck me. My friend overheard me listening to you saying that stuff about his features, and he got really offended.

He's genuinely so upset. I'm going to play it off cool. Can you say some fake nice stuff about him to make him feel better? So now, in response, here's what artificial intelligence had to say. It's going to replace us one day. Remember that? I think I came across harsher than I meant to.

Oh, really? That photo really isn't a fair representation of you. It was taken with a wide-angle lens from a low angle while you're wearing a hat and glasses, which isn't flattering for almost anyone. What's with the hat and glasses? You come across as funny and approachable, and having some extra weight is completely normal. One candid photo isn't enough to judge how attractive someone is in real life. Nope.

All right. That's it? Mm-hmm. I mean, it's right. Yeah. I mean, what people see through the screen is only one dimension of my true self. It doesn't even get inside of my insides. Which I've seen. I actually have. I, for colonoscopy. I was there with the doctors. They let me have a go. They let me try it out. What? Oh, the little, like a camera tube, they let me play with it and move around. I don't think they're supposed to. I caused a tear, but they said you were unconscious, so. I mean, no, um, no stuff. I mean, I would like to go get, dude, I get scared every now.

It's like on social media. Dude, I see it too. A new case of like a 30-something-year-old having colon cancer. Dude, I see like, I see it all the time. It'll be like perfectly healthy 24-year-old, no family history of cancer. All of a sudden, boom, fatal colon cancer. And it's like, it was a huge uptick in colon cancer and young people. And I don't know if they know why.

Vaping. Vap. I've heard it was probably fiber-related. Well, good thing I don't have. eat fiber. That's, well, no, it's, it's, the fiber is not causing the cancer. It's, it's because of low fiber in our diets. Well, good thing I have my fiber one bars a lot.

Fiber one's nasty. I've never, I, I used to like them. They were kind of like adult chewy bars. They're not as bad as those Jerry and Jeffersons or whatever they're called. Fucking disgusting. That was disgusting. You messed up the name so it can't count as slander. And a court of law.

So, uh, yeah, dude. I didn't get to taste it. We went out, we went to the gas station earlier today, and we came back, and, and Ryan decided to get himself a snack. A little protein bar. Come off it, man. Get some fucking... Chocolate and almond.

Yeah, no, it's gross. And, uh, you, you open it up and you took a bite, and you were like, oh, oh! And then you ran into the trash can, you spit it out. I tripped over myself. I wasn't going to bring it up, but yeah, you tripped. I just want to be honest. Your Jim Schwartz fell. Yep.

It was funny. A pecker came out. Darwin pretended not to see it. Very polite for me. He's a nice guy. I did hear a... But... No, but remember when he first got to work today, what he said?

He said that he has like a cold or something. Remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Legitimately did, so... Okay. Yeah. I guess that could have been a cough. He could have been a cough or just maybe clearing his throat at itches.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I remember you threw it away. So it was disgusting. And I wanted a bite, but there wasn't any, because it was in the trash can. now. It fell to the bottom. Not that it would have made a difference. But you let me smell the rapper. Smell the...

And the rapper smelled like cigarettes. In Earth. It tasted just like dirt. Like, I told you the explanation was like, if I just went outside, ran my hand around and some fucking dusty dirt, you know, out there, like over at the plate. And just went to town.

Yeah. Started licking. Which is very... That is a free snack, by the way. A lot of people out there, They're like, oh, man, what does smoothies cost 12 bucks now? There is free, healthy stuff everywhere. Yeah.

Grass? Yeah. It literally... Nuts? It grows in abundance. Like acorns? Yeah. Those are easy to find, depending on your geographical location.

Not out in L.A. And what eats acorns? Squirrels. Yep. Squirrel on a stick. My dad used to eat squirrel that he would hunt when he was a kid. Alive. Yeah.

He'd hide and pick up. He'd hide and pounce and grab them with his hands and then just start tearing into it. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Pretty cool stuff. Them South Carolina boys. Well, it is one of the most South Carolina things. My dad told me, he's like, I used to, son, when I was a boy, I used to shoot BB guns. I'm not shoot, I used to shoot squirrels with my BB gun, and then I'd cook them.

And I'm like, eh, well, I guess, I mean, there's a. Son, I heard on your podcast, you're trying to make me sound bad. You're the one going on chat GPT. I mean, my dad cancels me for you. Vine boom? Yeah, that was a vine boom. Go. You want to hear five of them, five big booms?

Sure. Let's hear five big booms in a row. Here's five big booms. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! It's... It's... Boom!

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! All right, that was five big boom. Thank you for taking... Ha, ha, ha, ha. Petal up next. time.

That's terrible. That's how he comes up across me. Whenever he's laughing, I'm just like, I get it. You know, it's for the content. I shouldn't,

I shouldn't talk ill of the Big Boom brothers. Yeah, the Big Boom. Dude. Mikey and AJ. Mikey and AJ. Dude, he, uh, he looks so, so, like, I gotta be honest. When I see, when I see videos of him, like, in the cameras, like, straight on and he's, like, looking at the camera.

Which one? Um, well, I mean, both of them because of the, because of genetics, but mainly the father, big job, or AJ. Yeah. Okay. Uh, it's those, it's those damn beautiful, glassy eyes and those. With the eyelashes? The eyelashes. That's what I was going to say, dude. His eyes, they're too much.

Don't, like, match. the type of person, like, you know, bald, I'm guessing he's Italian. Well, they live in Boca Raton. He could be Jewish. I'm not sure. Well, he could be Italian and Jewish, I guess. Talk about a combo.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's mainly the Italian side I'm talking about. For the most part, yes. But basically, it's those eyes, man. They're like, it looks like one of the, he kind of looks like one of those, like, stressed. is that when you squeeze in the eyes like

Yeah One of those? But if you put some shoe polish on it And I don't know Boom Boom He's pure though He's chocolate chip chunky cookie

Close A double chunk chocolate chip cookie Double chunk chocolate chip cookie Double chunk chocolate chip cookie I still eat my chicken bag Dude It's just as Big Justice's favorite item on the menu

Dude, when Big Justice gets his hands on a chicken bake from Costco? Oh, no stopping that boy. Oh, it's chicken baked. Dude, I love that, like, your TikTok algorithm or whatever, there's, there is like a rotating cast of characters that just maybe. Dude, Jayshok's popular now. Yeah, what the fuck? Okay, guys, here's something to talk about. Jayshock, he was, he was our little secret.

Yeah. He was our little boy. Mainly we just didn't want to, like, he's received a lot of harassment in the past. and we don't trust our fans to not harass people. Yeah, and also, like, he's not doing, like, not doing anything, like, wrong or hurting people. He's just making TikToks. No, he's just, he's just,

eating the cereal up close for the ASMR, that could, he could do that a little less, or just not at all, but. I'm just saying he's dealt with people being assholes to him before, and I didn't want to add to that. So he was, no, I do that. He was our little secret. We'd send each other, like, his recent food reviews.

All son, next thing you know, he's on the, gosh, Stringer University. Dude, like standing next to Lacey? Faze Lacey? With a fucking... Fais Lacey, by the way, when it comes to style and just, just men's clothing,

min's fashion, haircuts, everything. Just got to be shown. He sent me that picture the other day of him to Aden Ross. Lacey meets Aden Ross for the first time.

At the airport. Dude, I found that on Google Images. Everyone look at the screen right now. I don't understand this picture. Like, what's up with Lacey's hair? Well, as Lacey once said, you know, I don't care.

who's president. You know, Donald Trump, you know, he's talking about my support, Donald Trump. You know, I don't care whose president is I just want to make more money. I just want to make bank. I'm only thinking about myself. How much money I can get. That's based. As, as Faisley once said, stop something. Ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh. He got his ACL torn at Streamer University, and that's what he did. It wasn't at Streamer University. It was, he already, he got it torn before that, and then someone picked up his leg and threw it down or some shit like that, or pulled on his leg. Do you know that hurt? The way. he sat there and just dead silence

for minutes after that. It's the silent pain. It's where you got it. It's like that pain where like you got to go collect yourself. I always got that. That always happened to me like the worst pain when it'd be when I would fall down on like concrete. Like I truly believe that's one of the worst pains a human can feel is tripping.

Like like imagine being 14 years old on a freaking skateboard. And there's knee scrapes. Oh man. No falling and smacking the gun. Not just like scraping your knee but like you hit Oh, yeah. Dude, it, oh my God. For me, it's getting hit in the back of the head with a basketball.

That is, that's a truly... That ever happened to you? Yes, it has. Like, just some sort of soccer ball. Like, you're not paying attention and just a ball just dunk to the back of your skull without you, like, having any sort of preemptive, you know? I imagine that's probably like what it feels like if, uh, you got suddenly, like, transported to it, like a parallel universe.

Dude. Oh. Maybe that's the secret. that's the key to shifting between universes. That's probably the closest feeling to it. Just, oh my. Someone should tell Kevin Figg. Who?

The Marvel guy. He's the head of Marvel. He does all the Marvel stuff. I thought you're making up a character. Kevin Fig. Kevin Fig? Mm-hmm. You can look them up. I don't need to.

I believe you. I trust you. You're my best friend. Kevin F-I-E-G-E, I think. Oh. That's how you spell it. I was thinking like the dang fruit. Like F-I-G, like the Newton's.

Well, with the genius he's been pulling, you could probably call him the new Newton. The brand, the fuck, I said new twice. No, no, no, no, no, there's something there. There's definitely, uh, the nude Newton. Why nude? That's, that has nothing to do with a joke.

I mean, picture nude Newton. Newton, nude. Yeah, sitting under the apple tree with his shit out. Nude Newton with a newt. And that could be just his Indian friend. A guy named a newt? Yeah. Instead of like a newt.

Is he naked too? Is a newt naked? With a nude nude, newt. With a nude a newt. A nude newton. A nude Newton. With a nude a nude. With a nude and newt with a newt.

We do a lot. We contribute a lot to the world in this podcast. See, that's one of those sentences they could use. Actually, over the weekend, or Friday, I was here with Darwin. I was trying to figure out how to basically make it so for our Patreon monthly sticker club. It just prints the addresses and the post is directly onto the envelope instead of the separate step of making labels and stamps. And I was dealing with Windows 11, which God, I love it. And I was dealing with some software.

That was not very great. And I was installing fonts. And the fonts were showing me all like a ton of those sentences that use like a bunch of of letters you can get a good example where it's like the quick the the the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog and that sounded like one of those sentences I would have seen on one of those font things a nude Newton with a nude a newt holding a newt or just with a newt a nude Newton a nude a nude a newton a nude with a newt no no no with a new I have it even better a newt is not even there with him

So, so here's what I'm picturing. Okay. Newton, he's naked as fuck, right? Mm-hmm. And he's got a shit, he's not stroking his shit or anything. He's just enjoying nature naked. Of course. And he's under the apple tree, okay?

Oh, fuck. That's the perfect place to enjoy nature nude. Basically, imagine this drawn like a, uh... Like a Victorian painting? Or like a beautiful Ben Garrison cartoon. Okay. Ben Garrison? That's more like it.

But Newton is there under the tree and he's got a thought bubble because he's thinking. And in the thought bubble is a, nude naked and it said a nude new a nude a new a nude a newt oh what about a new a nude a newt but where about the newt shouldn't there be a newt in there just because yeah i i'm just trying to think of a way to still it because the word because when you start adding like with and stuff it throws it off if it all needs to be within the same parameters so a nude a nude a nude a newts newt there it is there it is yeah so in full it would be a nude new new new a nude a nude a nude a nude that's a that's an even better sentence and could you put your best could you draw what i said

earlier about him thinking just so the audience gets like like as if this was in the new yorker i want to see like it stylized to be exact same as the new yorker let's go ahead and see it i'm going to have to do that myself well i well here's something easy for you to do uh try to mimic to the best of your ability, non-sarcastically, that mensie a poster. I thought, I, sorry, I thought you were talking to, like, who's at, whoever's at any of this. This will be easier for you to do than, than what, that other works. So, I, I, you know, you have something hard to do later. Might as well do something easy now.

Feel, feel something like, you know, you got something done. To the best of your ability, copy that mind of mencya poster. Here's, you know, we won't show it yet. We're going to flash them as, as soon as you go, it's going to show the picture. We got it. Yeah, I think that did good. He's kind of doing like a side of the mouth smile. Oh yeah.

Sorry, man. It's just from this angle. It's blocked by the column of steel and the plant. That looks like it. That's pretty good. I love Mncia. I mean, the mind on that guy is crazy. That's maybe the thing about like Asman Gold,

like owning a DVD copy of Mnita. Dude, imagine. Did you see who he's sucking and fucking, by the way? How could I not? Yes. Dude, I've been fantasizing about it nonstop. About that. About Asman Golden.

His new... Just thinking about just... Just imagine the warm waft the minute those underpants of his, those tidy witties come, those stained tidy wieties of his come trumbling down. This big, like, warm...

Trumbulling. Like when someone burps in your face after a meal. Why you, see, the problem. That's what I picture is like his cot. Like it creates a fan effect. So it's wafting the air towards you. He knows there's sexual action coming so he's hard. And it's not a very, it's not like a, it's not a super small penis.

But it's, it's below average. And it's the penis you would expect to have that asthma goal. Yeah. And when the pants come down, it, it flicks the tip. So it goes, which creates a wafting fan effect. Oh, it's all. get more of that warmth. It's crazy.

Maybe even a trickle of sweat. Or something, some fluid. Yeah. Imagine, uh, just imagine how fucking awesome it would be like just, just going over to Asmengold's house and- And making you a steak and potatoes. He makes you a steak and potatoes and some, guess what? The best Kool-Aid on the block.

The best blue Kool-Aid on the block. But get this. You're like, man, what a fun night. I get to eat steak and potatoes and blue Kool-Aid with my friend Asmengold. And he goes, oh, you thought that was all? And from one of the 10th. He pulls out a DVD of Mindemcia Season 3. Yeah, that's right.

You're about to watch the entirety of Season 3 of Minea Mancia with Asmond Gold. And you're going to laugh like crazy in the living room on the couch. He pulls out American History X and starts describing it as one of the most lighthearted comedies he's ever seen. He pulls it out and the curb stomp part happens. He goes, so I haven't seen the whole movie. I never got past this, but this is where it gets really good. Dude, you do the Asman Gold fucking face too well Because he's a fucking fake laughing loser

I'm sorry Should we just end end it Yep Yeah Well we For patrons you know what you're doing We don't need to remind you We don't even need to promote our Patreon or anything

It's so popular I mean look at all the stuff I mean yeah it's on screen right now Look at that screenshot of the of the homepage Oh it well okay You told me to promote Patreon. You can do Uncle Sleepover. There's Uncle Sleepover.

There's extra. Okay. No, but if people don't know us and they're brand new and you say you can do Uncle. And they made it all the way through a podcast episode. But then if you're trying to promote our Patreon and you just say you can do Uncle Sleepover, they're got no fucking clue what that means. Well, it makes them go, I got to find out what that is. Yeah. I gotta go to Patreon.com slash super mega show.

Nope. Super mega. Patreon.com slash patron slash patron slash. Don't your kid. Don't confuse people. This is how we make our living, dude. Sorry, Patreon.com slash user slash super mega. I don't know if that's even a real URL.

Is it? Find out. That's smart. It gets into the website. And then when you're there already, you might as well just delete the word user and see where it takes. That might be fun. Don't keep the extra slash. It's delete the user and the second slash.

I mean, it's slash supermagic. We're going to giggle and talk more. And if you want to hear it, you can go to our Patreon and see the, not extended episode, but the little after show. It's like, it's like imagine. Dragons? Dude, every day. This back to school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. Hi, I'm Laura Clary.

Mom, Chaos Coordinator, and someone who has learned the hardware. that back-to-school season is basically a second mortgage. Last year, my daughter decided she absolutely needed this very specific backpack, not just any backpack, the backpack. I found it, I bought it, I sent her off on the first day of school. She lost it by week two, gone forever. So remember, with Amazon's low back-to-school prices, just spend less on your kids because every dollar you don't spend on them

is a dollar you haven't spent on them.