supermegashow - Jesus Christ: EXPOSED | supermegashow - 082

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

That handstand on water showed off a little more than he'd have liked. Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Audible.com. Come. To another week where we talk. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. It's Super Mega Live! Right?

Yeah. We're not live. I mean, it's live for us. We're alive. We haven't done a Super Mega Live show and Shump. Is the computer not displaying what we want it to be displaying? It's up top left. I'll see it.

it is playing oh it was the sorry it was just yeah I'm stupid sorry we can restart that restart that no no no no you confess to being stupid let's talk about that no don't keep no let's restart don't keep that in

what do you think of the samurai I don't know dude I don't need what we is this thing they ask on an IQ test well and then afterwards what's two plus two because the real answer or what's two times one two or what's the thing that

terence howard is like you're talking about terence ology terence ology what is terence ology based on it's like i think it's one plus one too right one plus one one times one does not equal one it equals two is what i think he's saying because you know why here's the thing about mathematics right you have all these scientists and these mathematicians you know for for centuries, millennia, you know, telling us, oh, this is how math works. You know, are you just going to accept that? Even though fundamentally at the universal level of physics and everything else? This is like grade. This is elementary school stuff. You learn your multiplication tables. Probably you start early, probably first, second grade-ish. I would imagine like two times three,

like up to the tens maybe. That's an, I know it's an elementary school at some point. But so it's like, it's funny to me to be like, Terrence. what is one one time two no no no no no no okay so like i'm just not going to i you know wait are you just going to blindly believe everything you're told what is one two times two yeah okay so what is one one time two Oh, damn it, Terrence. Imagine, like, a whole bunch of, like, scientists standing around a table. He's, like, hooked up to all the little, like, electrodes and stuff, and they're studying his brain.

Well, I mean, he's been showing off, like, he's like, look at this tetrahedron molecule. I don't know. He's talking about some molecules or something. He has these, like, uh, these examples that he's built himself or that he's bought and just shows off. He's made out of Crayola model magic at his home with Popsicle Stick. It looks like a science fair project. I just, like, honestly, he's not. hurting anyone it seems he's just having fun with his own math he's having fun with his own

math stupidity is contagious to an extent yeah uh it's funny though because i understand i guess the sentiment of like you know don't blindly believe everything you're you're you're told but at the same time when it comes to something as fundamental as one times one that's the thing about like math is is math is not something with uh with opinions or or an agenda math is math it like anywhere in the universe math is not something where we discovered it and had the run test to make sure that like what is this stuff like math we created math to understand things exactly and like math is the same everywhere like we created the universal understanding of what it is it's not something we discovered like it didn't exist in some coal mine somewhere all of

and oh my god check this stuff out it's like it's like a fucking tablet with like long division on it what the hell what does it mean i know like math has been a part of like i mean early calculators where what are they called the things where they had little cert beads yeah the abacus and i'm pretty sure that's what they teach uh in china still uh and that's how like uh have you ever seen the videos of like the kids that are doing the like the crazy multiplication like super fast they're like the rubics cube kids exactly exactly except it's with math mathematics or have you seen the ones where they like they'll have a math problem on screen and they're just answering like fast it's like speed math because they do it in their head the have you seen when they're doing

the math problems and the kids doing like this on the table like have you seen that uh-uh uh because they learned through like an abacus and then they can do it in their head if you get the answer yeah and they're super fast at it uh and meanwhile i learned by memorizing flashcards of what this times this equals so i didn't actually understand why it equals that uh or like how to so then when i'm confronted with like what's 12 times eight i'm like uh okay eight times 10 is 80 two times eight is 16 96 well honestly like that's A lot of, unless you know it by like heart, that is probably like the faster way of someone in head and like doing the easier math of like, as you said, like eight times 10.

But I don't really do that. I don't really do that. Well, there's no, there's no, um, there's really not a lot in society that forces you to do such. Besides school. Do you remember in school? Or if you have a job that, of course, you went to school and like learned all this shit. If you're like a gay program or something. But do you remember in high school, they'd be like, you're not just going to have a calculator.

in your pocket everywhere. It's like, yeah, you are. Everyone has a fucking, also, what's crazy is I bet you they don't even allow it, but the iPhone has a scientific calculator setting. I bet you they don't allow that. They make you still buy the like $90 or whatever. It's a conspiracy, dude. The fucking Texas instruments? So stupid. Like, I remember they made a deal of some kind. Well, that, I mean, that's not even a conspiracy. In college courses, the textbooks, like the professors for certain courses do get, I'm pretty sure, a commission for certain textbooks. So that's why, like, they'll make it required that, like, yeah, for this course, you have to get this $300 textbook. And I remember when I was a freshman, I shared some of the same classes with my roommate.

And we didn't want to fucking each buy $300 textbooks that were the, you know, for the same class. So we were like, oh, we'll share. Teacher wouldn't let us. And I'm like, why? Can we not share? Like, counts as commission? We, you know, we have the same class. why can't we share the textbook and it wasn't allowed so stupid dude and then uh same with like

there's places where you could get textbooks for free and part of the grade was checking for the textbook in one of my classes and i had a PDF of it that i downloaded illegally online uh and they wouldn't count it so damn son where'd you find this to put the penis away yeah textbooks are expensive uh i remember going to the russell house at u s which is where like you would just they had a Starbucks in there it's it's the it's the campus that first floor library yeah yeah yeah oh yeah

or bookstore yeah and they're very expensive from my recollection the only time in my two years of college that I that I took the only time I ever used a textbook for anything was once and that was just because the problems were in the textbook and it was like the homework kind of shit

that the teacher wanted us to do but other than that like every textbook I bought for college just went to waste and we didn't use it. I don't remember using any textbook that I had except sometimes in class we would have to like go to a page but at the same time it's like okay

there's a projector like can't can't you just pull it pull it up on the projector? Gone are the days of grade school where you just opened up to page 86 and read for the entirety of class to page 106 I forgot about that shit dude where it's like all right everyone

just just sitting your desks and read from uh this page to this page not explaining it at all i mean that you know there's different types of teachers everywhere but i did have a teacher where they did run their class like that i'm sure a lot of people have that experience i had that all the time i had it where it's you know i have to sit down and it's completely silent and you just have to fucking read uh like 10 pages of the textbook sometimes we'd get a quiz on it right after uh but when you're trusting kids to just teach themselves that way it's not going to work because think about like kids with ADHD or kids that are just that doesn't exist it's all the Tylenol they've been taken same thing as autism

well I don't think studies just you know they've proved that Tylenol the brand drug is acetaminophen the leading cause of autism the drug itself acetaminopin and paracetamol Tylenol those don't actually cause it just the Tylenol brand does right once they put Tylenol branding on the package. I don't know what happens. Maybe it's some malevolent force from the great beyond. Like a spirit. Yeah.

Or like, you know, like aliens that are way, they're so intelligent that we can even comprehend that they're there. Yeah, it could be like some higher dimensional shit. Or maybe, uh, I wouldn't be surprised if, uh, the Clintons or the Obama's maybe did some kind of like blood ritual sacrifice to, uh,

basically, you know, put a hat. on all Tylenol to cause autism. Now, I have a question for you. For me? Yeah. A little old me?

Oh, yeah. There was a video that came out of an unidentified flying object or some shit, and it got hit with a Hellfire missile. And all of a sudden I saw Hank Green pop up on my feed talking about, I knew exactly what that was. It's a weather balloon. I sent you the video. What are Matt Watson's thoughts of Hank Green covering the truth

that a UFO is a weather balloon. Right. He's claiming that it's a weather balloon. And I did know, obviously, it's not moving as fast as it appears in the video because of the parallax effect, because the camera's moving, it's zoomed in, the ocean behind it. So it appears that it's moving a lot faster. I've seen a lot of analysis of this video, of this UAP video. And allegedly, the congressman, the leaker that gave it to him, allegedly he, he

vetted it out of a lot of things and used this one specifically because it could not be debunked. Now here's what I will say. He's going to be assassinated. He's going to be assassinated. He's going to disappear. I think that a... It seems so obvious to...

It's just a weather balloon. They fucking... They take Hank Green out. Fuck, man. I think that it's definitely plausible because when you're looking at it from that that frame of mind. you could see how it definitely could look like that now here's my next question to you matt and i want and we're going to look up the answer because i don't think you or i didn't truly know it um

how much money did the united states waste on firing a hellfile missile at a weather balloon that's what i was going to say that's i was going to bring that up next because but i just asked you a question oh how much do i think i mean missiles are like a couple hundred grand brand, right? I'm going to say the U.S. government spent, yeah, so anywhere, but I'm going to say anywhere, maybe I can't do that in between. You say 100,000, then I'm going to say 150,000. Okay, so I'm going to, yeah, let's see, hellfire missile price, and I'm not, I hope Google

doesn't think I'm trying to buy one, 50,000 to 200,000. Oh, so anywhere between the range of 50,000 to 200,000. $200,000, I'm guessing, depending on... So why would the government waste a missile that expensive on a weather bill? Waste essentially, not essentially, waste, way more than an average teacher salary, waste... Average teacher salary is like $50,000. Waste a good job salary, honestly, if it's up in that $200,000 range, even $100,000, $75,000? Like, that's, I don't know.

I've watched a breakdown, many breakdowns of this video, and I don't, I don't think it's a weather balloon, but I also am not ruling that out because it could be. And I know a lot of people are going to say this, so I'll say it too. You know, it does seem very liberal of us to call out the money spent on a missile where it pales in comparison to the money that the Biden family spent on hair care products. And here's the amount they spent, Luke. Just to show you were nonpartisan. Didn't do them too many favors, you know?

Him or Hunter. Absolutely not Hunter. I'll tell you that. It's a shame. But, you know, fair and balanced. That's what we are. I, oh, did my ring hurt you? Collect my blood or something?

No. Let's just go to ads Luke. No, seriously, that actually hurt. Can I, uh, can I keep it, uh, can I keep it one haunted with you? you know my father always taught me to keep it 110 but sure i can't keep it a hundred and ten but i can't keep it a hundred and ten but i can keep it 100 okay okay i think that uh do you think it's possible that maybe there are bad actors within the government that in an attempt to discredit the the release of of real uf phone material feed well besides Ronald Reagan I fail to feel like what what politician was an actor truly so yeah they're probably all very awful actors and when they give their speeches you can tell it's all fake emotion and stuff they really need to take acting classes if they want to make sure that

their constituents actually believe and feel that they care about what they're purporting to care about absolutely that's why Reagan has such such power to him because when you watched him speak you you're like he's not acting that's real I mean it was acting but he's good at it I mean, let alone, I mean, he did have to apologize to the American people for lying to them. But that's neither here nor there. Do you think that there could be people in the government that, you know, that are trying to keep this whole UFO thing secret? And they, through whistleblowers, you know, CIA operatives, they purposefully feed video. that can be debunked to congressmen so when they show it to they look like idiots yeah it's like

well that would just show a video of a weather balloon shit yeah you know i think i think it could be possible i mean what better way to discredit uh it's like that thing saul goodman did to that one guy with the park bench one of his last scams oh is the thing with a park bench oh that's right that's right yeah yeah i do remember i don't want to Spoil it. Yeah, exactly. But if you know, you know. That, I mean, that kind of thing, I'm sure happens all the freaking time.

It's crazy that there's people out there that are just doing conspiracies. Like, Whoopi Goldberg. I'll tell you, dude. She thinks the moon's made of cheese. Okay. Now, riddle me this, Ryan. Can you prove it's not? I cannot.

That's an expensive microphone. Okay? We can't, we can't, we can't, I, the warranty is passed on that microphone. So if you break it, it's, you know, we have to buy a brand new one at full, full price. Yeah. So, I'm not obviously, not going to break it. Ryan, it just came unplugged. Well, it was an accident, obviously, Matt.

Ryan's microphone is unplugged right now. It was an accident. Well, what, when you threw it on the floor, you didn't mean for it to come unplugged? No, round head, round hole. Yes. Am I coming in? Am I coming in good? Speak?

Hello? Hello? Give some dialogue? I'm giving some dialogue. Luke, take that shit off my voice, please. Thank you. It sounded more robotic than a chipmunk. You got to take the...

Never mind. I'm not going to teach you how to give me a chipmunk voice. Stop looking at my panties. Dude, I'll tell you something, Ryan. The underwear that you're wearing right now is you're, it's not like, are those are really long underwear you're wearing? They are. Because like they're going down to like close to your knee

and your shorts are showing them like 24-7. Are those even underwear? Is that like compression shorts? These are me undies. Those are me-undies? Oh yeah. Boxer briefs. I mean, boxer briefs typically,

I guess would go down to here. Yeah, but I think I got a large size, so they're kind of like little shorts. Mine don't, mine, dude, mine go to like just slightly below the, uh, the old peckerwood. Really? Okay, that's a, sorry, those are, then you're getting a different style than what I'm getting. Because I'm getting the ones that do look like little shorts. You're probably getting the ones that do cut up right here. I'm getting the movie short ones.

Yeah, exactly. You're getting the ones that say, uh, probably have the Lucky Charms logo on the, the ass or something like that. Guys, if you like me, undies, if you like wearing underwear... They don't do shit for us anymore. Yeah, they actually, they don't, they don't sponsor us. That means we're free.

I still wear them because they're comfortable as fuck. Same, I'll give them that free endorsement. I will. They're very comfortable. We're not lying about that. That wasn't a lie for a sponsorship. They are very comfortable underwear. Yes. In fact, I'm also wearing them. Look, here's the model I'm rocking.

You tell me. See? Oh yeah, they do. You do wear the short ones. Yeah, you wear the little short ones. Yeah. God, those are tiny. Whoa. Do you want to get that? No, it's fine.

It's fine. So I'm having a bad thing. It's fine. I actually, before the podcast started, Ryan, I was shaving my face. And I'm kind of embarrassed to bring this up. But if you have video watchers might notice, Luke, go to me. Go to the close. The razor died.

Closer, Luke. the razor died much closer there you go the razor died when I was exactly halfway through shaving my face so this side of my face the left side is is clean-shaven and I look like a boy but this side of my face if you see still has quite a bit of uh of scruff right like is it it's noticeable right yeah yeah you look like a like a like one of the guys the five Fox news hosts said needed to be euthanized, lethal injection. Involuntarily. Yes.

Just kill him. Lethal injection. Okay. Fully removing all politics from this conversation before people moan. No, like no politics involved a news anchor actually suggesting when it comes. An entertainment show anchor. They're not labeled as news. That's what they put in the lawsuit.

In court, they argue, it's just entertainment. A news anchor on the biggest news network in the world talking about homeless people saying, as a solution, or involuntary lethal injection, just kill him. No, he did apologize for his crass remarks of euthanizing. Well, he apologized. Unhoused, you know. It got called out. So people didn't even really catch it because it was Wednesday morning, I'm pretty sure.

And it was like Saturday when it really started gaining traction. And then he was like, so, yeah, I mean, maybe it should be voluntary lethal injection. You know, like they can choose. But yeah, like, so they're for assisted suicide. Exactly. They're for assisted homicide. Against their, against the people they don't like. You know, they should have the right to kill themselves because they're gross and I don't want them around.

So like if they don't want to be around, that's essentially what he said. That's very progressive of you to believe in assisted suicide. Well, no, just for homeless people. You know, and maybe we can extend that to minorities. But we'll leave it there. We'll cut it off there. Yeah, that's the propaganda machine at work, baby. I said no politics, Ryan.

Well, it is propaganda. Fox News is propaganda? Okay, dude. Yeah, and our podcast isn't funny. Well, that's opinion-based. like most of unlike Fox News that's not opinion based

it's fair and balanced that's their slogan is it yeah that's Fox News's slogan is fair and balanced In a world of blue-haired Mohawk fat chicks

Fox News is here dude I wish like between segments they would have like all these crazy graphics like a giant like no fat chicks I watched Idiocracy for the first time the other night all the way through Because I had seen part of it on Comedy Central when I was a wee lad I thought I loved it. It was very funny. I didn't know it was by Mike Judge Yeah, but at the same time did you clap at the end when the credits rolled?

Be honest As a white person, I'm kind of obligated to Whenever a movie ends in the movie theater, I always got to clap You know, it's like Because I know that. I know that's like because I know that that the people who poured their blood, sweat, and tears into that movie, they can, like, feel that from, like, almost, like, telepathically. It's like, another, another, another, another, another, another, another, another, just stood up and clapped at the end of my movie.

At the end of Marvel's, the end zone. I'm sure that's a Marvel movie that'll come out at some point. The end zone? I mean, is that actually one, or are you, yeah, I mean, it sounds totally real. End time now. Well, they had in-game, right? Yeah, that was just. you know some final movie will be like it's not done yet Marvel the Avengers it's not done yet that's the title it's a crossover with are we there yet with Ice Cube yes God bless Ice Cube I'm just saying I'm just I'm just saying that I'm prompted me when it's a

hot summer day my lemonade you're making a joke out of me giving a blessing over to one of the most beloved musical artists of all time some would say even more popular than Hannah Montana Well, no, what I'm saying is like, ludicrous, but I dare not say that. I don't want to get the luda heads on my ass. It's a good joke. It's like a hot summer day in my life. What are you, Mr. Garrison?

No, I sound more like Timmy. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. What a great audience. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You're kind of giving me some Timmy right now. What a great audience. You give me like a Timmy vibes. Okay. Dude, Timmy's my favorite. I mean, he was a stand-up comedian. He was an entrepreneur. He was a public speaker.

Guilty is charged. And he was a civil rights advocate. That's right. Timmy is undoubtedly the best character in all the South Park universe. But going back to Ice Cube, did you get my joke? You said God bless him. You said God bless Ice Cube. And I was saying like me. No, I got it. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to repeat it. From the standpoint of like, no, I get it. Oh, it's hot and I'm glad I have an ice keeping you're just talking for yourself now i told you i got it well maybe you don't have to explain it okay but i know you get it but maybe the audience the listeners might not i mean there's a few of probably i mean i you haven't even given me a chance to actually fully explain it because you cut me off every time well if it's a good joke you don't need to explain it that's not true eddie murphy's

famous quote in his hit uh stand-up i can't say it but well that wasn't the name of the special that was just the name of oh yeah what if that was the name of that's Oh, hold on. For those who want to, for those who want to look it up, Eddie Murphy. Let me just tell you the name of the special and then the track number to go to. Eddie Murphy, comedian. That's the name of it.

And actually, it's track number one. Is it? Well, this might, does that mean it's the most popular track or does that mean it's the first one on first up? Okay. That's what he came out the gates with. Actually, it is blank revisited. So this might be him touching up on his pre. You know what?

I'm wrong. Eddie Murphy, the self-titled comedy album, just Eddie Murphy. He has a flower in his hair. And it's track one. It's still track one. It's always track one. At the dippy top. That's right.

Because he walks out on stage in those cute little jeans and everyone's cheering. They are adorable. That's when he makes the comment. So track one on just Eddie Murphy's self-titled comedy. album we're shrek five i need more eddie murphy in my life you know i need i need donkey what's up with donkey these days i like uh when i when now what now when i relisten to track one i'm just gonna imagine it's donkey saying it because it's the same it is yeah it's just eddie murphy putting a little i mean he's just being a little eccentric it's just as he's not doing a voice

when he's doing like mooshu or donkey it's just eddie murphy kind of just excited yeah Yeah, playing it up. Just excited Eddie Murphy. However, when you talk about Neymour Donkey, Shrek 5 is coming out. It's confirmed. It is, but it's like not to like 26 or 7 even. It keeps getting delayed. Like, I feel like there was an article where it was supposed to come out probably in like 2020 at some point.

Yeah, I feel like it was like, Shrek 5 is coming out in 2021. And then it's still. Puss and Boots did so well, Matthew. Oh, you know. Shrek is coming around the mountain when he comes. I'm thinking I'm trying to remember actually I remember seeing a lot of marketing

for Puss and Boots was it a huge success It was right It was beloved I would say it was one of those movies That came out Now I don't know the exact numbers But it was one of those movies

That came out where a lot of people were like This is awesome The newer one Yes Not the one with Humpty Dumpty I'm thinking of like the old The first Puss and Boots movie The one with Humpty Dumpty

Is that is I never saw it I think he's the villain in that movie. Does he follow? Because Rumpel Stilskine is the, is the villain in four, or is that three? Does he fall off a wall? I don't want to get into spoilers. Okay.

Well, let's on a level of Breaking Bad, you know, I don't want to just spoil theatrical or kind of like. He gets shot by his brother-in-law? No, no, no, I'm saying like he, it is on the level of secrecy as, as Breaking Bad for the fans of it. Could we maybe go do a quick ad break and you could tell me in between? I don't want to ruin it for you. I'm too scared to see the movie. What do you think of this? That's a thumb penis. Put it away.

Let's go to ads. just like all the uh at the end it's very obvious that all the the king's horses and kingsmen just i don't know couldn't put them back together again so you're the one that wanted it but i i feel like it ruins the whole the whole the whole thing but it does it i'm not you you wanted it you asked for it i did not and not in the like uh very mean republican way of you know saying like someone deserves something bad happening to them you know she was asking for it yeah well um i was asking you were literally you literally asked for it i asked you to spoil the humpty dumpty thing and you did and uh i regret it i regret it i regret it and when i'm when i'm

but yolo when i make a mistake i i will own up to it okay and uh i shouldn't have i shouldn't have asked and i regret it and it's gonna honestly throw off the mood for the rest of the podcast but we should come back from ads now and just yeah welcome back everybody i'm so excited guess what's coming out guess what's coming out in just a few days i can't hide it that's why i'm declaring how excited i am ghost of joseph what the video game ghost of joseph it's yote i get those names confused of course i mean you're not a video game connoisseur i'm guessing between the two of us i am the more like i play i literally play video games games every day and like you come in for like big releases and then every now and then you'll get

into like a stint of like like binding of Isaac or whatever are you trying to tell me what I am or am not I don't I mean people could go look at the gameplay on the channel I pretty much decide that for themselves my skill not binding of Isaac no my skill my skill level when it comes to video games does not determine But you don't play them often You don't know what I do at home Yeah

Come on Guys trying to tell me Who I am If only you knew About my secret steam profile Oh yeah You're putting Thousand of hours

Into like Real-type strategy games George Lucas's Rainbow 6 Oh fuck yeah Uh huh No There's like two games I'm good at

And it's RuneScape and Bining of Isaac Like, cue the comments of people that are also play those games going, you're not good at those games. But I've seen you play. And you come in and step into, it's like Animal Crossing will come out or like a catamari. Like, isn't there a new catamari game that like just got announced recently? Yeah, there is as well.

I'm very excited. I tend to have like a roster of comfort games that every few years I'll kind of cycle through and revisit. The difference between us is as. I guess is that for me it's more like this obsessive compulsion and for you it is like a hobby that is like well you know what I mean and I prefer to spend my time reading literature transcribing music gardening um you know things of the such not wasting gardening you know what I mean I don't do that anymore especially without a condom oh I didn't know what about a what about a few female condom. Well, would I really need one of those? I mean, look at you. I can't do it with the fucking look.

God, you just look at me with those big, beautiful, bright blueberries, and I just fall to my knees. When you fall to your knees, for these, I get a disease, and it makes me sneeze. Because I feel like I have fleas. And I go, oh, honey, please. And I go, sheesh, slant rhyme. Well, you ruined it by saying slant rhyme. I could have added onto it. In a poem, someone does a slant rhyme, and then in parentheses, it's like,

I ruined it, slant rhyme. No, just, just slant rhyme. Yeah, just slant rhyme. That's like some shit out of our book. Just specified it's a slant rhyme. That's a good idea for the sequel. I have a note on my phone with ideas for the second book, and I... I eventually do want it to be a trilogy.

Like, that would be the best-case scenario is to get a collector set one day. Have a compendium. Yeah, look at them type away. Fuck. Smosh hasn't written a book? Yeah, they haven't. And, you know, most YouTubers, fun, fucking. In fact, I'll tell you right now, if you go to Barnes & Noble and you go to the section where they have the YouTuber books, guess how many of those YouTubers actually wrote those books or had anything to fucking do with the creation of those books other than their agency, ghost writing it, and their graphic design team, but they throw in some pictures of them in.

All of them. We are the only YouTubers who wrote their own book, start to finish. And you can tell. Self-published. You can definitely tell. Yeah. There's a lot of talent in there. A lot of creativity, whimsy, lust, adventure, schizophrenia, abandon.

Mystery. Clock. Just throwing out words. I want those in quotes on the back of our next book. Clock! By the author. I think that, uh, what am I? Dude, it's not clocking to you.

that we could be Stephen King's level of billionaires from these book sales. Stephen King, the white supremacist senator? Is there a white supremacist senator called Stephen King? Yeah. God loved the world. John Tron quoted him and gotten a lot of trouble. For God so loved the world that he sent his only son. Stephen King, in parentheses, white supremacist senator, not the author.

How come no one brings up the verse in the Bible where Jesus does a hand? handstand? Because on water, might I add? Nowadays, people are so enthusiastic to discredit the Messiah and to try to say, oh, he was just some guy with schizophrenia 2,000 years ago. There was nothing special about him. Part of me believes that it's maybe because when he did the handstand, his dress came down. Right. It came down and exposing his penis and balls to the disciples in the boat.

That he lost his balance and accidentally backflopped on the water, which was the ground for him. so he's and then he and then his then the breath was flung out of him so that's probably why but he still did a handstand on water which is a miracle because I challenge anyone else to try and even try and even attempt it fuck you can see him start to lose balance in his He goes, watch this, and he flips up on his fucking hands, and his robe goes, oh, and his little cock and balls goes, bing, and flips out, and he kicks his legs, loses balance, but bang. And if he falls on a wave, that's sharp for him, right? Now, imagine this hard cutting to you and I at the pearly gates, because you and I just died in a car accident reviewing this clip. He's sitting, he's sitting there watching it on like a little screen, just like.

I mean, there's a scene in comedy, there's a see in Christ, you know? You all have a lot in common. I really don't want to do this. Unfortunately, I can't let you in. There's rules. I'm sorry. I don't make the rules. My old man does.

I can't let you in. Can we go to limbo instead? Guys, I got to send you to hell. Does the Bible ever say what hell is? Yeah. any like what it looks like it did i i'm pretty certain it just describes hell it doesn't does it ever mention hell is hell ever mentioned in the bible yeah okay but but why do i remember something's like well actually hell is never mentioned in the bible i'm pretty sure that the

idea of hell being like a fiery inferno is more of like a metallica thing they created that um i think that uh i'm pretty sure what i remember hell being like when i was a kid uh was my old man would be drinking barn brim He would, uh... What is brimstone? Brimstone? Is it just like cobblestone? I don't know.

Some kind of stone. He'll look up. What does it look like? Because I want to have a good, accurate representation of... Because if it's fire and brimstone, we'll have a... Yeah. What I remember is, uh, or what I was taught, I wasn't taught hell was like a fiery inferno. I was taught that what the Bible says is, like, the absence of God.

So you're basically somewhere where, uh, it's almost like a black void where God is fully absent from. and that's hell. I think it's the DMV. Luke, that was way too many, that was way too less claps than I anticipated and you made me look like a jackass. There were only like two or three people in that.

I was going to say, Luke, you have to add some more claps to that. And I think only one distant woo. I was expecting for the bit to hit, like it would be like an audience applause or something. Because Luke, we'll rely on you because we don't have a real studio audience. So when, when, you know, our jokes landing,

ultimately the responsibility does fall on your shoulders. But technically you're the one telling the jokes in that case. So these are your jokes, Luke. Yeah, you're deciding what stays in and what doesn't. And I'll be honest, Luke, you do a pretty piss poor job as an editor, deciding what gets kept in and what gets cut out. Because honestly, there's a lot of really funny. The word of the week's going to be very boring, but fine.

I mean, I literally can just, it's a one-word definition. What is the word of the week, Ryan? Well, since we were talking about fire and brimstone earlier, this week's... Fire? No, this week's word of the week is brimstone, because I asked you, what the hell is that? What is brimstone? It's an old-fashioned word that just is, it's sulfur. It just means sulfur.

Oh. So the fire and sulfur. Yeah. Guys, brimstone means sulfur. That's the word of the week. You know, yellow stone. So it's got a fire in yellow stone that smells like dog shit. Well, smells like eggs.

Right? No. They're sulfur and dog shit. Okay. Believe me. Yeah. So guys, a lot of you have been saying, where's the word of the week? You guys keep forgetting to the word of the week.

We don't forget, guys. Luke just chooses to cut it out because he says, you can't say that word. I'm like, well, you're not getting the irony of it because we're not supposed to say that word. So we say that's what makes it funny. Right. And he keeps cutting. out the marketplace of ideas as I said if if if people can't hear this stuff being said how are they supposed to know that that it's bad disagree with then then then if if they don't hear it they won't

know it's bad and then you'll have people saying it exactly unlike right now like how am I truly supposed to know that that like um the sky I don't know I was going to go off it was probably get to go turn into some political rant that would have would have what have would have would have upset people because they go I roll politics again and I have to go I guess yes I guess it was about to turn into that and I have to formally apologize as as the co-host of this show for almost spearheading into another I'll be it comedic conversation but still a conversation nonetheless yeah mentioning or referencing politics you know and I I understand A lot of people tune into our show because they want an escape from the bullshit that surrounds them.

If I could escape, you could escape, create a place in my own world. Own world. I could be your favorite girl forever, perfectly together. Now tell me, boy, now wouldn't that be sweet, sweet, sweet. Ooh-hoo! We-hoo! You told me before the podcast, Well, here's Matt's fun fact of the year.

Guys, from Matt's Fun Fact of 2025, ready? In the song, Sweet Escape by Gwynne Stephanie, get this, the part that, you know, everyone knows where it goes, woo-hoo, stepanthony. Staphanthony? Yeah, I've been saying it wrong. By Gwen Staphanthony, it goes, hoo-hoo, you-hoo. You guys know that song. I always thought that was Gwen singing that part.

A-Con that's doing that. Can you believe that? I always thought it was Gwen. I want to make love in this club. Was that A-Con? Or was that Chris Brown? Was that C. Breezy? Or was that fit? I don't know. I want to make love in this club. Who do you think that was? Fuck. T-Pain? Damn it. It's kind of like an A-Con adjacent. It's Usher. Oh, okay. I should have guessed it. Yeah, a lot of those artists that used a lot of the, like, similar beats and, like, a lot of autotune from the early to mid-2000s, it's kind of hard for me to remember who's who. And actually, I was doing a New York Times crossword puzzle last night and the mini, because the big one's too scary.

Do you know who the New York Times is owned by? Frito Lay. Just thought you should know. Really? Mm-hmm. I read that somewhere on Twitter. on X, someone had this whole thread. Okay, I can't keep supporting them then.

I like the crossword puzzles and the Wordle, because they own Wordle as well. And they also... What, don't they own? They have a game called Connections. I play Connections at the Mini and Wordle every day. Really fantastic games. Play a little bit of this?

No, put the thumb penis away. Again, I'm not going to say it again. Come on, it's a recurring bit. Yeah, and for you, it definitely is a bit. Stop! I built this. I stop. There is, Ryan,

stop. There is actual sensitive technology in here. This is not factory made. I put this to put that fucking shit down. Put that fucking shit down. You know how expensive this was to make? How hard it was? How much artistic passion went into it?

Stop. Put it down. I'm sorry. I, I, I let the Hulk out and I'm and I'm and you know that I'm serious

and then you know that I'm sorry because we shook hands on it that I wouldn't bring up that fucking beast unless it was a serious moment you were red with rage I don't like seeing you that way man I don't I don't like I don't like when when you turn into

some monster I don't even recognize my hard work just complete you know I built this this thing for the set and and what it's just broken now it's just uh you know I guess it could be a metaphor almost right for the trust that I had in you as a co-host and as a as a partner a non-romantic partner as a partner as in business and friend look all I can say is I'm sorry and to prove it me and a coalition of people

are starting a I'm sorry tour across America and those who will be joining me on stage you can see their names right now with little emojis next to their names and you can already see some of the people that bought tickets to attend this this tour

is that what the ones in green are? Exactly those are the ones in green so tickets as you can see have been pretty good Um, but I, yeah, I'll reserve, uh, my apology for, uh, when I can see this show live. That's really gonna, that's really going to, I'm sorry, not apology, my forgiveness. I almost gaslit myself into apologizing. I meant to say forgiveness. And now I feel like a fool. Maybe I do deserve it. You know what? I'm stupid. Maybe I deserve it. I changed my mind. Everyone on the, everyone on the, everyone's name, including the emojis. It just means they

smell like poop they smell like feces they smell like dog shit just literally overnight our numbers on patreon ryan what happened you gotta apologize dude this this one in particular luke have a little arrow this one smells like come and shit um buy we we record a little bit of a smaller podcast after this that you can catch on that, uh, Patreon. Yeah, if you go to Patreon and you can become a podcast producer, get stickers in the mail every month, get a bunch of extra shows and videos like Uncle Sleepover, very fun series. Just came out with World War of the Worlds with Ice Cube. We watched War of the Worlds with Ice Cube. He sat between us. And then, uh, yeah, like Ryan said, an extra sloppy scoop of this podcast every single week. And you get it early and ad free.

So pretty cool. Anyway, you guys are the best. We love you. three kisses that's it don't blow more than three three is the key that's right three is the key that's why you're not going to do the you're not going to do the the thumb penis bit again because that would be four and i would ruin it don't that's it i just had to make sure see this is why you should ask questions and not just go basic because i don't know what you meant but i'm glad that i made sure i understood i saw rubber when i was in like eighth or seventh or eighth grade And your mom tasted rubber when I was in college. If you know myself and Ryan, you know that we just can't get enough Jack Skellington.

That's right. Jack freaking Skellington. Unfortunately, all the stores we go to don't have any awesome Jack Skellington merch. All the stores that is except Box Lunch. Box Lunch is a one-stop shop for apparel, home decor, and collectibles inspired by our favorite fandoms. If you're into anime, superheroes, sports, studio gibble, video games, whatever you can think of, this spot has got you covered. Ryan and I went to Box Lunch, and they had all sorts of Jack Skellington stuff, and I got so emotional,

and Ryan, I got an awesome hoodie, I got a little figurine, and I, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And listen to this. Not only can you get your favorite merch, you can make an impact too. For every $10 you spend, Box Lunch will help donate one meal through their partnership with Feeding America. Over 10 years of giving, 250 million meals have been donated to food. banks across the country. You can also score board games, trading cards, and blind boxes. So do what your favorite podcasters Matt and Ryan did. And go check out Box Lunch. Use Code Super 30 at checkout for 30% off your entire purchase at Boxlunch.com, not combinable

with any other offer. Follow Box Lunch for more fandom at Box Lunch Gifts on social media channels. And don't forget, that's Code Super30 at Boxlunch.com.