supermegashow - Matt's Sister Don't Watch This | supermegashow - 061

Episode Date: May 7, 2025

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Shopify.com slash super. Again, that's Shopify.com slash super. What it do, what it do? Do be doing, do be thingin'. How about you? It'd be swangin'. Ooh, okay, okay. Left to right.

How about y'all? And I'm talking to you, the audience. I think that's an appropriate enough time for an answer to be received. Thank you all for responding, or to those who did respond, those who thought you were too cool to respond. Yeah, let me tell you something. Ryan's 30, I'm 29, and something we've learned at this ripe old age is that the whole, oh, I'm too cool to partake, you know, like maybe at youth group when everyone's singing worship songs, you're the one guy that's just standing with his hands in his pockets. Like, you know, everyone's doing this songs you're the one guy that's just standing with his hands in his pockets guess what? Everyone's doing this while

you're probably like you just you know maybe swing a little bit you know yeah you're not cool you're a you're a fucking loser all right and you might think you're being the cool one in the room in that moment but you're gonna look back when you're 29 and you're gonna hate yourself. We're gonna give you one more shot to make it up to us by answering. So, what'd it do, audience? Okay, that's more like it. That's more like it.

Doing live show warmup with a pre-recorded podcast episode. Doing crowd work with them. Like trying to imp up an audience. Looking at a blank wall with a camera. I mean like, how's everyone doing tonight? Fuck, I need to fix the light. In all fair, well not in all fairness, just a fun little update. There's been really no progress in the guest set up besides the management being given to someone else.

I'm gonna text him. I'm gonna be like, so? D-management being given to someone else. I'm gonna text him. I'm gonna be like, so, what's the deal? Who's Mike? If I texted Tucker all angry, like who's Mike? He would be really confused. He would be. I mean, we started this podcast with a video screen,

thoughts of having a guest in the first 10 episodes at some point. We are 61 episodes as of this episode into the SuperMega show with still no guests and no fun screen to flip to to watch funny YouTube videos on. For those complaining that go, hey, what the fuck? 61 episodes and no guests guys or YouTube videos are Matt and Ryan not good enough for you like come on like are we not funny enough by ourselves it's our chemistry lacking for

you is you know I like to think that Ryan and myself have some of the greatest best friend chemistry on the internet. Like, name another pair of best friends on the internet who are actually best friends and have great chemistry. Rett and Link. They hate each other. That is true. That's a little behind the scenes.

They get spats. I've seen them get spats on camera. If no one's heard the leaked The leaked voicemail from when they were filming Good Mythical Morning It was not I guess a voicemail was just a recording someone was on set recording and Rhett was having a freak freak out I mean, it's public domain so Luke you can play it. Kick your fucking ass. I want you off the fucking set you prick No, don't just be sorry think for one fucking second that the fuck are you doing? Are you professional or not? All right. I'm sorry. I thought you were referencing the voicemails that

That read left his ex-wife No, yeah, so Those aren't public as far as I know. Alright we're never getting on Good Mythical Morning now. It's just not like I would love to I would love to go on Good Mythical. I don't think that was ever a trajectory for us. I do I think it totally was. Yeah you think we were on the you were we were on the come-up to be on Good Mythical Morning? Look at our views brother. They're gonna go whoa okay we gotta get these crazy crackers on and not Good Mythical Morning, maybe Good Mythical Kitchen or Mythical Kitchen, whatever it is.

Do they, we could, I guess. They just had Stav on and I mean, he was from Compton. Oh yeah, we were talking of people with equal audience and equal pull. I'm glad that you put us right next to- I'm not talking about audience or pull, I'm talking about if you're implying that we're too risque for Mr. R and L. That stands for Rhett and Link. The way you were talking made it sound like you were going to go further with that sentence. I felt like it cut off very abruptly.

No, no, no, that was the end of the sentence. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, so about that chemistry. Yeah, it's something else as you were saying. Yeah. Maybe Ian and Anthony? Yeah. Or like... I mean, their chemistry was so good that Anthony had to take a break from it because it was like flying too close to the sun. He was actually getting, he got such a high from spending time with Ian that he actually you know likened it to like a heroin addiction and he actually for his own health he had to quit. He looked at Ian and he said I just can't quit you and that's the problem so he had

to step away which was a very hard decision for him. He stepped away and then You know, what does a junkie do? They always go back Sorry, I'm just like stepping out and it's just like Ramblings of nonsense that we just go on that have no purpose or no reason and the joke is we're lying about content creator For like 10 minutes 5 minutes 10 minutes straight and it's just like Anthony had a hair on his ankle and that's why he had to leave Smosh fun fact well it's not a fun fact yeah it's actually very sad he he ponded his mom's fridge he ponded his mom basically everything in his mom's

pond his mom's legs off for some for some crack yeah and that's just one of the most fucked up things I've ever heard. You know, prosthetics are expensive. So to take both of those prosthetic legs and sell them, like who's even buying that? Like why would a pawn store go, yeah, yeah, I'll go ahead, I'll buy these legs. Someone who's trying to make like a robot,

like from iRobot, like the Will Smith movie, where the robot, I did not kill him! Except in this situation, I guess that robot is, is just a pair of legs so far. Yeah, dude, I'm working on a crazy, I'm building my own robot. Guys, come over and look at this. It's just too man, it's just too fucking manly.

Like prosthetic legs. Standing up and that's, it's still a work in progress. But you can see it's shaping up. This is, I call this the alpha. Oh. It's all the friends in like a quiet room. It's like, it's like, it's like ding! You press the garage door and it's like, drooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I mean I bet there are there are interesting characters that's okay. I know this is a jump but

Because in my life in my head. I'm like they're Interesting there's so billions and billions of people the wealth of experiences people have there are people that act like that Interesting people and I can't wait for Grand Theft Auto 6 Because of all the fucking it made made me think of people doing weird things and all the stranger side missions that happen. And stuff. All right, I see the connection now. I just, I read it, the reason it's on my brain

is because I read a, I read a, an article, a gaming article, and it was saying that people have theorized and they've done mathematical equations to try to deduce when this game Grand Theft Auto 6 is coming out and from what they've said sometime late October how did they come to that conclusion through mathematical equations and science and strength just maybe just theory so just like don't know string just theories like a chalkboard just filled with equations. Yeah

Okay, I think about it. You know just they're gonna want to release it in enough time for it to be considered for game of the Year, but also within enough time for it to be considered financially profitable for the end of the fiscal year So in doing that knowing that other games are releasing then are they really thinking about other games release schedules? No. Knowing that. They're gonna dominate, so. Yeah, so as you said, it's a chalkboard full of equations. Apparently they said late October, so we will see. In those equations, they actually did figure out

the equation that basically solves the whole dark matter question of the universe. That was important at the time. Yeah, and they actually ended up erasing it before taking a picture, which was a shame. But at least they figured out, late October is probably when GTA 6 is gonna come out. I think a direct quote from those scientists

was more like dark splatter. They weren't very serious. And that's frustrating because the science community has been decades, centuries. Just getting railed. Yeah, just trying to figure out Not in like a fun- Depends on the scientist

You know, Einstein was- oh, Freud Freud was railing bars of coke He was railing lines left and right Fuck yeah! Dude, he loved cocaine so much he would give it to people as gifts for their birthday and Christmas Just people that weren't into cocaine either Like a great aunt He'd be like, have some cocaine?

I like that, you know there's always that imagery of like when someone's stressed and they go up into like a top shelf of something, get like a little wooden box and it has like a lone cigarette or like the stress cigarette. I just wanna see like a movie where they do that and it's just, and it, cause usually when, in a movie where someone grabs coke, it's like in this it, cause usually when in a movie where someone grabs Coke,

it's like in this erratic, kind of like I just need a little more, whatever. I wanna see it where it's like, you know, he gets a little wooden box down from the top shelf. It's like a father who just got home from work, opens it up. There's like a little soft, kind of like angelic,

yellow spotlight glow on the Coke as he opens it. And just like a perfect little baggie of cocaine with like a one dollar bill next to it. And like just an old credit card. I wish that that was like an involuntary reaction that every human had upon like snorting cocaine. It just like fires the neurons so it's like. Are you doing coke in there?

No, it's like, hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Okay, you just hear It comes up, yeah, you're doing coke I stubbed my toe on the way out of the stall and I sneezed right afterwards some might say coincidence, but That's just what they would say mm-hmm, not the truth. And you just keep on walking. Yep. And then the unfortunate thing too is when you get the coke drip in the back of your throat it also triggers the scream. So afterwards you'll be out on the club floor kind of just getting your groove on feeling

good just, ah! I'm just imagining just like if this, if I just got to press a button and then everyone who is currently on Coke just like would randomly every five seconds, just, BOOP! Imagine going to a club, just BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP! It's like you're at a fucking like zoo with howler monkeys. Like on a Saturday night, go to like West Hollywood and- And press the big button.

Yeah, just go into like any club and just stand on the big button just go into like any club and just just stand on the sides and just go and it's literally gonna sound like you're like at the zoo when the howler monkeys have some kind of like group political meltdown where they're feuding and they're all hooting and hollering like kind of like in a 2001 a space Odyssey yes when they're like all like well actually I I actually I have a recommendation for you in your next whenever it comes out who knows in your

next musical venture I would love you to add some howler monkey noises see if you can put them in a song. Don't you have nostalgia for those for those sounds going to a zoo and hearing just hearing them from like the zoo entrance? At the Riverbank Zoo. Oh it always got me so excited because I would be like in line for those sounds going to a zoo and hearing just hearing them from like the zoo entrance at the riverbank zoo oh it always got me so excited because i would be like in line to get into the zoo and uh you'd be able to like and you're like dude do they have like sound effects you know those are real monkeys love it yeah um okay it also pairs well with uh safari music you know when you're That is actually my next album. It's mostly safari music You noticed I brought my guitar

Matt Watson's Jungle Cruise I brought my guitar to work today You did Because I'm planning on doing some stuff in the recording room afterwards And it's safari themed It was, I mean It's a, I would call it of a fiddle a violin it's not a guitars leave them leave the music stuff to the experts all right I'm excited to hear

whatever you got going with that okay can strum it that mini guitar maybe that's not a mini guitar it's definitely not the size of a normal guitar. It's my electric guitar. And that would be a, is it a uke? It's a guitar. Okay. The guy that sold it to me said something, he said something about fiddling with it.

And it's like, oh, you fiddle with the guitar. And I've been playing that ever since. It's how I learned guitar. But it's like, oh, you fiddle with the guitar. And I've been playing that ever since. It's how I learned guitar. But it's my guitar. So why don't you, like I said, leave the whole music thing to the ones who know what they're talking about. Real talk though, I think, there's like every now and then,

you see an instrument, you get an urge to play it. I've had that with a piano. I'm sure you've had the same thing where it's like, oh, that would be great if I just knew urge to play it. You know, I've had that with a piano. I'm sure you've had the same thing where it's like, oh, that would be great if I just knew how to play piano. I've had that with like a banjo recently where like, I wish I could just go out into like, just you know, my back patio where the gardeners are in the big, what is it, brass fountain?

I can't remember what material it is. It's not brass, dude. Okay, okay, well I was trying to be a little. Well it's a nicer alloy is what I'm saying. It's definitely not brass. Go out there and just play my banjo. Maybe get their work done faster if you know, provide some of that.

Honestly. The gardeners. For the gardeners and landscapers out, you know, trimming your rose bushes and stuff, if you went out there and started playing banjo, I'm sure like Based on the tempo which you're playing it might kind of pick up the pace Or I go the classic down and down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down, down, down, down, down. You're not too, you know, like you could, if you want them to work faster, there's many alternatives. Dude, imagine having a magical banjo where you would play it and depending on the tempo would like make time go slower, make it speed up.

That's a fucking movie right there. I feel like that has to be. Warner Brothers, don't. There's something where someone's playing and controlling time with an instrument, I'm sure. Not that I've ever, I mean... The Time Traveler's wife? He's playing the skin flute? You know? Right? Does he suck dick in that movie? I haven't seen it.

No, it's called The Time Traveler's Wife. Yeah, but that means there's a husband. So it's like, does he suck dick? Is there a scene where he sucks cock? Not to my knowledge, but Matthew, I have to be honest with you. I've never seen the movie, so I can't confidently say that in the movie, the time traveler's wife, he does not suck dick.

I can't confidently say that. I have not seen it. This is Schrodinger's cock right here. We don't know if he sucks dick or not, because we haven't seen it. I did see the movie The Vow, however, which has nothing to do with the time traveler's wife it's the vow by the same people that made like uh those other christian movies like the one about the firefighter do you remember that movie fireproof my dad was that a christian one oh dude i i don't have any memory of

fireproof but i know exactly the my dad dad to me see in theaters and looking back Because it's about divorce and like God and stuff and looking back I'm wondering if there were like some problems in the marriage and my dad's like son Let's go see this movie would your parents divorce a few years ago. Maybe be a bigger hint to there being problems in the marriage You really gotta bring that. Let's go to ads. This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Imagine waking up to find your bank account drained, bills for loans you never took out, a warrant for your arrest, all because someone committed a crime in your name.

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Take it from me and my friend, Matt Watson. It can be very intimidating. You don't know what steps you need to take first. There's so many different hats you have to start wearing. It can get confusing. Believe me, I know. It's like, don't you just wish there was some sort of tool or... or brand that could help me out here?

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You know, a marriage is a contract not just between a man and a woman but it's between a man and a woman and God. Yeah. You know, it's very sacred. So they broke a contract not just with themselves and their souls but with God, God himself. They broke it with God which is honestly both of our parents have failed that test. You know it's a test of strength. You know, and they're, both of our parents have shown

that they're nothing but weak. Yeah, for getting divorced. Yeah, tough it out, guys. You know, if you ever heard the Blink 182 song, Let's Stay Together for the Kids? Yeah, I wish that they had, you know. Have you watched a little bit of a brother Steven Crowder? God, I love brother Steven Crowder.

Championing and wishing that men could just go, nope! Yeah, you want to get divorced? Not on my watch. Why do women get to decide if they get divorced? It doesn't make sense. Are you quitting? It's my wife. It's the equivalent of just unplugging the console when you're losing. You're rage quitting. We need a gamer conservative. Oh, there are a lot of those, Matthew. Well, I mean we need a prominent gamer conservative voice.

Tim Poole. True. That's why I'm winning. Elon Musk. I saw Tim Poole was actually recently, he was the very first question in the White House press briefing. Yeah, and he's- They panned the camera over and he's sitting there and he's fucking beanie. Like, did you pay attention to the question he asked?

I didn't actually see the question, I just saw it. Oh, okay. What did he ask? He was essentially just kind of like, oh, did it have to do with the deportation stuff? I think maybe, he references that, but one of the things he says, I saw the clip where he was just kind of like so

So it's glad that you're introducing new voices, you know Because they're inviting podcasters and youtubers into the press briefings. He couldn't take the bean off in the White House No, we couldn't you know, but he was saying I think glued on I don't know It's like a childhood accident like an industrial glue factory. Maybe but what did he ask? I don't know. I got I kept trying to get on track and I Stopped so many times that my brain no no no what for God? it's glad that I'm glad he's like I'm glad that you invited podcasters and

Youtubers into the space Thank You Tim and YouTubers into the space. Thank you, Tim. It was like, what do you have to say about, what do you have to say to people who disagree with that or like legacy media who are coming and attacking those who you've invited. He was essentially like goading the press secretary to defend him and other conservative podcasters. That's what he used his time in the fucking White House to do. So instead of like asking about any pressing issue, it's not like he would get a straight answer anyway.

No. But you know, he goes, thank you for inviting us podcasters, and then Ryan and I in the back went, hell yeah. Well, the mics didn't, they didn't pick it up. We don't technically have a pass to get in there. Which, yeah, it's actually, we're very lucky that we probably shouldn't have even done that because that's bringing attention to ourselves.

We did get thrown out. And who knows who those two men were that got into the White House? You know, it's pretty easy. You can get in. Confessing to breaking into the White House on a podcast probably isn't the best. It's just a joke. We didn't break into the White House.

They said it on their podcast. They said they broke into the White House. They admitted it. I would be legitimately like jaw on the floor. Send them to El Salvador. I was on their Patreon and I was watching the episode early with no ads. I mean he said he was going to send homegrown criminals. And we're homegrown, baby.

We're homegrown. We were born here in America. We were. And grown. This was our home. Dude, I love it. And Donald Trump's always been correct about who is and isn't a criminal. Like with the Central Park Five. He was historically correct on that one.

Yep. Just maybe a little fun fact, Donald Trump was not correct. He also said that OJ was guilty. He was incorrect on that one as well. So Donald Trump probably not the best super to best Best example to line up next to the Central Park five Why I'm just trying to really truly five innocent People of color that that were harassed and degraded in the public eye and then you have, I guess, OJ Simpson.

Well, I wasn't comparing OJ to the Central Park Five. I was just saying it's just another time when he was wrong. Which is very rare for our president. Yeah, and at least he can admit it when he is, you know? Yeah, he just... Yeah, he just... It is painful, Matthew, that we are in this timeline. But hey, you can just do and just smile and continue on. All we can do is podcast about it, brother.

Keep calm and carry on. That's a British thing, man. I mean, if you if you check where you know The we kind of came from that area so we can kind of take it take it from them a little bit. Yeah Yeah, that's the one thing we can take from the British I would ride well I don't want to take anything else from them and that's not out of like respect like I don't want to take anything else It's like I don't want anything else from the British. That fucking beans and tuna, tuna on a fucking potato.

And you know, when we made that video, I saw a lot of you guys out there from Britain trying to, you know, pass the blame and be like, Oh, that, Oh, that's disgusting. Oh, I would, I'm British and I would never eat that. You made it wrong. Or they're like, Oh, that's from South England. Only losers get that yeah, even though I included a clips Well, I included a clip specifically of like an hour-long line of people

Excited and giddy waiting for their for their now who knows maybe you know They're not all getting the tuna and beans, but I bet you a bit of a mark Tell me something if they're saying only losers are getting that, you see that line. Do you think there's that many losers in England? Mr. Beast had some. What? From the same cart? Yeah, before, yeah.

So is that why it blew up? Was it the Beast touch? It was, no, it was, from what, I don't know what specifically made it blow up. I want to say, for a lot of people, it was the drama with Keith Lee. Cause he's a food reviewer and he tried it and didn't like it and it got a lot of people to go, what the, what the bloody hell?

You're not even eating it right. You have to chew 10 times then swallow. I don't know, you know. He only chewed nine and swallowed and if he had just, you know, pushed through and done that tenth chew, he would have gone, oh! It's releasing the flavor spores in the food. Dude, that was disgusting. I'm like, I'm going to be honest. I was not expecting me to have the worst reaction out of the two of us. I guess for me it was just a big bowl of slop. It wasn't like the most disgusting thing in the world. It wasn't like our past endeavors with Ryan's

soup or putting even cat food on a burger. It was, it was just, it was just confusing to my brain to try, you know, maybe it's because we're not intelligent enough. Right. Because of the American education system comparatively. I mean, it just kind of, to me it felt like just mixing food together that like maybe if you asked like a kindergartner

to come up with a brand new recipe based on things that they already have in the pantry and you gave them 10 minutes that's what they would come up with and for me looking back on it I think what pushed it over the top for me was the tram sauce I think I think it was the tram sauce mixed with the other flavors that made it taste a little bit like vomit to me it was the it was the sriracha that had that like kind of uh... It was the sriracha mayonnaise that like... Yeah.

I don't know why, I mean and maybe I'm wrong, but it was that like mayonnaise-y sriracha Well if someone were to vomit, if someone were to vomit this would be essentially like what someone would vomit like if they had a meal, like let's say they start their meal off. They're eating like a tuna salad sandwich. Then later on they have like a baked potato with like a side of beans and like some protein. A baked potato with beans and protein? Yeah. Does that sound... you said interesting meal like it was an odd meal. Well I mean like... Do you think that is that an odd meal? Like a protein, a baked potato and some beans?

Well I'm just saying like a... It sounds like a classic southern meal. No, a tuna salad sandwich, a baked potato, and some beans? It sounds like a classic Southern meal. No, a tuna salad sandwich, a baked potato, and a side of beans. It's not like your everyday typical meal, is what I'm saying. Well, not for us, because we have bowls of caviar, usually, just to keep us nice and thin.

Yeah, and uh... And smart, because of all the, I guess, the acids, the fishy acids. The fish oils. The fish oils. Like the omega-3s yeah and also but you something you have to think about is their fish eggs and you you know when you eat them the

intelligence that fish would have had albeit a small amount of intelligence does get absorbed into your brain I think that's what the fish oils are and when you dream you're experiencing fishes memories from a from a past life Dream last night. I had sex with my sister Wait this I did no I I

Did not have a dream right sex my sister at least not last night So you did you have a dream with your When did you have a dream where you had sex with your sister middle school If it wasn't last hypothetically if I did it would have been in middle school You come out with an album Siblings Man I was listening to the podcast no she wouldn't wouldn't even bring it up. I guess apparently my dad. She's too pussy. Yeah, she is.

She wouldn't confront me. She would never confront her baby brother. Who's a YouTuber, by the way? You know, maybe if her baby. Unless she forget. Yeah, if her baby brother had maybe carried on and was still working at Chick-fil-A to this day at 29, you know, she might go,

oh, I'm gonna confront his white ass. But the fact that her baby brother went on to not only be a white YouTuber, but a white podcaster, the race doesn't really matter. Successful white podcaster, successful handsome white podcaster, very rare by the way, successful white male podcaster and handsome and handsome. She won't confront me about it. Absolutely not. The ball's in your court, Samantha.

Yeah. me about it. Absolutely not. The ball's in your court, Samantha. Yeah, maybe you could send that little boy toy of yours to give me a phone call and maybe he can try to talk some sense into me. I'd like to see him try, okay? He's your age. He is, which means that she's kind of robbing the cradle. She is kind of robbing the cradle. She's like 50. Yeah You having a 50 year old sis I mean there are some people with siblings where like the age difference I mean my pretty prominent I have a brother in his 40s. It's true. You know, it's not just not with the same mom No, so it's your knowledge I'm pretty sure my mom didn't didn't birth my half. Well remember, you got those blueberries from your dad, not your mom.

He has blueberries too. Does your mom have blue eyes? Dude, this has been bothering me. Okay, because two episodes ago on the episode Matt's Parents Don't Watch This, I went in depth about my parents' divorce. Not sure why I put the accent on the D but I talked about how you know it's like I got my blue eyes from my mom and you know given the title I thought neither one of my parents would listen to it because as far as I

know my dad doesn't ever listen to it. You set a boundary within the title of the podcast. Right there and as far as I know my dad doesn't ever listen to the podcast. And my mom does listen to it. Maybe not every episode, but I just I got a text from my father that said you didn't get those blueberries from your mother's side. You got those from the Watsons. And I was like, OK, so he listened. He listened to the episode then. Great.

But your mom has blue eyes, right? I thought my dad had green eyes and my mom had blue eyes. Is that not the truth? I call my sister up. Okay. Because my sister has blue, green, they're bluish green. Okay.

It's like it's an in-between, you know? So I'm like, I have blueberries, she has just kind of like, like Charleston ocean water. Like mossy swamp water. Swamp water, yeah. She's got them swamp water. With mossy swamp water. Swamp water, yeah. She's got them swamp water. With some oil in it. Yes.

Like maybe a boat broke down at one point and the motor leaked. Yeah, yeah. So she's got those. While I've got these pristine, you can almost take a swim in them. Well I comment on them all the time. They're so beautiful.

Oh my God. He just flashed me his balls. His eyeballs. So I call my sister and she's like, I think Dad has blue eyes. And I was like, you're capping, you're capping Samantha, stop capping. And she said, no I think he does.

So I went on Dale's Facebook. And you looked at some pics. First thing I noticed was my dad's Facebook has been hacked and I don't know if he's noticed yet. Because he's posting, he's posted, can we just show it? What is he posting? Let me just pull it up.

I don't think my dad realizes. Are you sure, okay, are you sure this isn't something your dad would post? I'm positive this is not something my dad would post. I'm positive. I wanna see this shit. So here's my dad's Facebook. Scroll down and it's like, oh cool,

there's a new painting my dad's done. Yeah. Another painting my dad did. Of course. And then you have this picture of this dog and it says ADHD-er and the dog is trying to walk around a bunch of things, obstacles on the floor and he said, I can be all three in the same day dot dot dot dot okay comma mostly number three and it's a link to an Instagram.

My dad doesn't have ADHD and uh. He doesn't believe in that. No, he doesn't so. I, and I, so I think my dad's Facebook. But he's been on Facebook since that is someone just also. He just hasn't noticed. Is someone also just in his account being able to like post shit? Maybe I, okay, yeah this has no likes or comments so maybe I just need to bring attention to

it. Liking it? No, I'm just gonna say, good one dad. Okay, yeah, this has no likes or comments, so maybe maybe I just need to bring attention to it Liking it. I'm just gonna say good one dad Okay You he's gonna think you act as a count to post that or something. They call me and go son What's that shit you posted and I to post that or something. He's gonna call me and go son What's that shit you posted? I'm gonna like what my comment. He's like no that ADD shit You know, I don't believe in ADD or autism I Believe in crazy people, but no, I don't believe in autism and the devil, you know, so but wait, sorry

We got on a tangent. I went on my dad's Facebook to check and I want you to tell me something. Do these, oh, check out this, he did this recent painting, that's pretty good. That is good. But I want you to tell me if my dad has blueberries or? Or green berries.

Green berries. Okay. God, he paints too much yeah you paint too much hey you paint too much man what is this I don't know looks like a painting what is this not a good look not a good look not a good look but I had a I had a neighbor who had one of those flags and I was just kinda like, hmm, interesting. Confederate.

Okay, now I was about to say it's not the Confederate flag. The gay pride flag, of course. It's actually the non-binary flag. My dad posted it. My dad's non-binary. But Facebook's way too confusing now. Tagged photos, here we go. Okay, okay.

Okay, here we go. Are those blueberries or green berries? Oh, hold on. Those look like blueberries, right? Those look like blueberries. Yeah, and that's his sister. Oh, blueberries? Blueberries. Who's that creepy looking guy?

That's my gay cousin. Ha ha ha ha ha! Who's that creepy looking guy? That's my gay cousin. Who's lovely by the way. And not creepy. Who's the ugly one? That's his sister. I do agree with you on that one. Sorry, sorry, sorry. The joke is just me saying mean things about

people I don't know knowing that they're going to be someone that's close to you. No, she is. I like that. Um. Who's the creepy one? Yeah, look, blueberries, right? Yeah. Now, he's wearing a blue shirt, so it could be like. God, your dad should get like a very obvious black toupee. Wait.

It would look so good. I need to Photoshop that. It would look so handsome. I need to photoshop that. It would look so handsome. Luke, go ahead and show on screen what Dale would look like with a, like if he's like, I'm not, son, I grew my hair back. I come home, he just has this, and I'm like, Dad, what's that? Toupe?

What, are you speaking French, son? California's changed you. That was it to pay. Are you speaking French? California's changed you he would be such a cute little little bugger, dude Booger eyes, he'd be a cute little bugger. Okay. I'm just screenshotting this so I can photo It's a good picture to pay your dad's a very handsome man much like his son Not like his daughter. You're talking about the other son? Yeah. The daughter, yeah.

Let's just say the apple does fall far from the tree in that case. Oh yeah. And maybe hit a few branches on the way down. Woo! Let's just say the apple fell from the tree because it was rotten. Or if, you know, I don't know. I'm sure there's some RFK Jr. joke because of a worm in the nap, you know?

Because he had a... The 5G actually makes the apples fall from the tree sooner than they're supposed to. I read somewhere that he gave himself... Ate? No. He gave himself some sort of poisoning because he was just eating a bunch of like tuna sandwiches or some shit. He got obsessed with it.

He was like, I'm eating nothing but this. So that meal you were talking about earlier, that could have been RFK's late. That could have been RFK's late. RFK's. RFK's. It's Alicia Keys, bro. You know, he has like a tuna sandwich, some toast, whatever the fuck in the morning, and then for lunch he has his

Billabong potato What is a billabong? Yeah, is a billabong a thing? It's an animal. Yeah, it's an Australian. Is it it's an animal? Yeah, is it a bird? No, it's um If I'm not mistaken, I believe it's like a marsupial type creature or rodent. It's a mammal I think are you fucking with me because I'm looking up billabong. It's also a brand It's a it's a clothing brand if it's like for surfers I used to have a billabong shirt when I was a young lab Oh, yes, the billabong is an Australian term for a small lake often and

small lake sorry Often an oxbow lake crea... Wait, what? I thought it was an animal. Is a billabong not an animal? No, yeah, it's Billabong Zoo, Billabong Sanctuary. But I don't see any animal being referenced as a billabong. This is terribly embarrassing for me.

I know all of our Australian listeners right now are just going, yeah, all four of them. I don't know. We probably have an hour down to two. I would, would you say there's at least 10 Australians that watch the podcast? What are you talking about, dude? It's one of our biggest demographics. 50 Australians. 35. Oh, okay. I wouldn't be too generous, but you know, it's our second biggest demographic, so 35.

Australia is too far away. It is Inconveniently far away. It is in can like they need to move that shit Yeah, like they need to just go ahead and move it up off the coast of California Maybe get a bunch of freighters and start pushing it push that she's tugboats Slowly but surely they'll make their way up they might not make it sponge Bob when they're moving bikini bottom Yeah, like they might Knock New Zealand or like Papa New Guinea, you know off course on the way Maybe Tonga or something might get yeeted. But who cares is there an old Zealand?

That's a great fucking question is there an old Guinea new Zealand is there an old guinea new, New Zealand is there an old York Sounds like a candy shop from the 20s old York. Yeah Sounds like a for me. It's like a old dog book probably just cuz old yeller and York sounds like you like a Yorkshire Yorkshire, whatever it's called Yorkshire How do you pronounce American? We'll say Yorkshire your and they'll go Yorkshire Yorkshire, whatever it's called, Yorkshire. How do you pronounce that? You know, we're American, we'll say Yorkshire. And they'll go, Yorkshire, Yorkshire. Worsh-sh-sh-sh-sauce. Oh my god, I cannot wait to have another lovely potato with tuna and beans and worsh-sh-sh-sh-sauce.

Wash it down with melted lollipops later. I don't know, that's probably what they drink. Probably some gross shit like that. No, they just drain the juice from the can of beans and drink that they they put it in a flask And that's what that's what they're sipping on all they call it they and they call it some shit like bloody bloody Bloody bloody taint bloody taint. Yes, that's perfect. You got any bloody taint on you. Oh, yeah Shakes it a bit. Oh only got about half a flask left.

Oh go ahead. Go on then. Take a sip. You want to get some head? That's their term for having a sip of a drink. Oh Oh you want some head? I could use some head right now. That's just there I don't know why the British use that term for like like getting it. You know they're thirsty. It's like oh Could I get some head? Of course, mate. Hands him the flask. Get my jollies off me. Oh, good head. Good head mate.

This is the best head I've ever received. Oh my Lord. You're great at giving head. He has just really good bloody taint. The flask is just fantastic. It's one of those hydro flasks. So the drinking experience is fantastic. He's also sucking the other guy off.

And if you think that we're just making fun and lying on the name of the British people, then we invite a British person to prove us wrong. We probably won't see the video or the post but we still have the invitation because we'd like to be proven wrong actually, I Also would like to put an invitation out for our British audience It I know that some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make

From Shrek yeah but British people the same way that Ron and I have like redneck relatives you know you and I very civilized city folk but you know if you if you if you you know take a few steps back in the family tree like the picture I was showing you of my dad's sister you know it's like you like, you'll get some, hi Matthew, how you doin'? You know, that kind of thing. So I know that some of the British people, they have a similar thing where they've got the real,

it's like they just become more British. So you'll have like, they live out in the country and they have the really fucked up teeth, it's like, ah! Like the Cockney accent? Yes. Is Cockney like, Cockney scene is like, I think so. Okay, British people people we finally need your help on something

It's to answer a question Is like a cockney accent when you hear that is that supposed to be like posh like oh damn they live in a castle Or is it like damn they live like out in the country and they're fucking annoying Damn, they must live in a single family home because Because in the United States, even, I don't know, I've, you know, it's all dependent on one's opinion of it, but like in the United States, at least, I would say categorically, like a southern accent is like an archetype for stupid. Right. You know, so like what would that archetype be in British culture? Like which accent? I think it's like the really thick one with the fucked up teeth. Alright love. Yeah. I don't know. No. Like a dude named Nigel Thornberry. No, not

Nigel Thornberry dude. Don't fucking put some respect on his name please. Okay. Rest in peace. But what I was gonna ask is some of our British fans, I'm sure you have a family member that is like atrociously British. If you could just film a video of them. No. Just get like, just saying, like giving a shout out to Super Mega Show so we can use it as like a bumper. Like maybe they're wearing like one of them white wigs.

Yeah, and it's like, my name is Nigel, whatever, Crockett, and uh. And then just name is Nigel, whatever, Crocket, and uh... And then just tell them what their favorite food is. Yeah. Or their favorite movie. And why. And end it with, and you're watching Super Mega Show. I'm Nigel whatever, I love the movie...

Train Spotting. Train Spotting. A Spot of Train. And I love Super Mega. Yeah. We'd make it a transition for ads. Put it on Reddit, tweet it at us, send it on Instagram. Oh shit, speaking of ads.

Oh fuck. Yeah. Roll it. Your business doesn't move in a straight line. Make sure your team is taken care of through every twist and turn with Canada Life Savings, Retirement and Benefits plans. Whether you want to grow your team, support your employees at every stage, or build a workplace people want to be a part of,

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Okay, all right. When a core's life is cold enough, the mountains on the can turn blue So the next time you want a cold loggered cold filtered cold package Core's light just wait until those glorious mountains on the can turn blue. Oh It's easy to say that fast when you're freezing gold The new bemo vi porter mastercard is your ticket to more more perks more points The new BMO VI Porter MasterCard is your ticket to more. More perks. More points. More flights.

More of all the things you want in a travel rewards card. And then some. Get your ticket to more with the new BMO VI Porter MasterCard. And get up to $2,400 in value in your first 13 months. Terms and conditions apply. Visit bmo.com slash the iPorter to learn more. If I have to run from something, I'm fucked. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, that's right. It's me, Markiplier. Oh That's right, it's me markiplier psych if you were listening to the audio version I bet that really pranked you it's me Ryan They might have been like wait

Am I listening to to the the distractibles? And or the what's this the sports one where he talked nice about our boxing? Really mm-hmm. He was very kind and like a pity way well at least for mine You're yours was actually legitimately good boxing match yours was an edge-of-the-seat fucking boxing match from start of all it wasn't so much of boxing With form it was like thing it was just swinging slow. It was like two bears fight It was like thing it was just swinging slow. It was like two bears fight Like if you've ever seen a video like two bears in the woods Yeah, two bears in the woods having like a territorial dispute where they're both on their hind legs fucking going crazy that was what that boxing match was like and mine was more like

like just one of those videos were like a Leopard goes and attacks like a raccoon yours was like a that's so Raven vision It was short enough to be one too goes and attacks like a raccoon. Yours was like a that's so Raven vision. And it was short enough to be one too. It was short enough where like it could be a vision in that's so Raymond and you wouldn't be like, this is too long for a vision. And then it pulls back out and you're like, yeah, that was an accurate, you know, length vision.

Now, Matt, this is for the video listeners, but Luke, put in a sound effect so the sound people can, you know, the sound people. Can follow along. Do you think it was this punch, this punch, or this punch that really did you in? So,

what really did me in was not a face punch. Oh. Believe it or not. Was it the, wait, was it this punch? It was this punch. Ooh. So, the body shot. Yes.

That last face punch, so there's the face, okay, so what did me in was he got this fucking liver shot on me. And you can see it in the video in the slow motion. I That's the one where I go You like buckle. Yeah, and as I'm buckling forward, that's when he gets me with a fucking haymaker right in the face So that was that it's a wind up for that one, too. He does he winds it Yeah, that that one two combo right there. That was what did me in And I genuinely was shocked when they called the match. I know that sounds funny. I just genuinely was like I

Was I was good to keep going? They or or people watching the clip will go no no you weren't I stayed on my feet the whole time And then when I sat down in between you got in A fight with a ref they cut it you were like pushing them say fuck that fuck that and I beat his ass which unfortunately people People didn't get to see because it was like a redemption thing But you fucking like fucking spun them like those Olympic people spin and throw those things I don't know what they're called, but you spun them out of the ring Yeah, he broke through the ceiling through the ceiling

There's like a ding and it was was like literally shaped perfectly like him, the whole. But I think because it was for charity, they didn't want to. Yeah, they don't want to bring a bad vibe. But I feel like my fight just made everyone feel gross. I feel like, you know, we're here for charity. And yours was like, a little friend like, oh damn, I can't believe that happened.

And my fight was just like, is no one going to call this? I was surprised they didn't call. I like after I got knocked out dude they called mine real fast which looking back of course I see why they called it in the moment right so right right after the round ended and I sat down and my ref was talking to me and they have the medical person like shining a light in my eyes whatever they're asking me if I was good and I was was like, yeah, yeah, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good to go, because the adrenaline. Like, the adrenaline of being in the middle of a stadium.

You don't feel what's going on, really. Like, with that many people cheering and all those bright lights and getting the shit beat out of you, the adrenaline, you don't feel the, I felt the pain of the body shot, but the face ones, those didn't hurt because the adrenaline.

Hurt my brain later on for several months, but basically then they said they called it, I was like, what? Really? And then yours, they were just like, well. Keep going. Yeah, just, just. Go stand over there real quick. We gotta hit the runtime., well, keep going. Yeah, just, just go stand over there real quick. We gotta hit the runtime.

All right, keep going. I feel like you can obviously tell in my face, like I'm just like. Oh, you're done, dude. Like it's like, you essentially wrote, point me at him and I'll go. I wasn't like really thinking much. I remember several times where I'm pretty sure

in your head, you were like, that has to be it. And then they say like, that's when you learn there's gonna be more and you're just like, you just give this kind of like resigned. Like, okay. Well, after fucking going unconscious and then coming back up, I honestly thought, like, coming up off of the floor,

like, it was gonna be, they're gonna get me up and they're gonna be like, that was it, you know? They were gonna lift, they eventually did lift Alex's arms for the winner, like it was gonna be they're gonna get me up and they're gonna be like, that was it, you know, they were gonna lift, they eventually did lift Alex's arms for the winner, but like I thought they were going to do it right then and there. So when they were like, you see me go over there, kind of rest on the side of the ring. I was fucking, I was backstage watching on the TV

your fight as they, as the medics were examining me for like concussions. Well, it seems good to me. Yeah. Yeah. Go on, go get yourself a drink now. Yeah. But basically, I was watching yours

and I kept jumping up and they were like, you need to sit down, no, sit, sit, stay seated. And then I would jump up and they're like, we need to look at your pupils, Matthew. You were just getting so excited. Yeah, that's my best friend out there fucking fighting his ass off if they allowed us to tag team dad I got that would have been fun if we could fucking tag team his ass. Don't okay you go in now So that's a thing or both at the same time, okay?

Bit unfair I would say I don't think that's unfair for he uses anabolic steroids true true true and He does he did snort a line before your fight mm-hmm. I mean granted. We all did you know as like a camaraderie thing Yeah, Ian and Anissa lined us all up in the back room everyone come around you know I Think it was just to kind of get something on all of us Just in case. There were cameras, weren't there? I mean, well, the thing is, I tried to bring up, it's like, hey, you know,

because I went and got Burger King during the fight, and I was like, hey, I was wondering if you could pay for the Burger King since it was technically on a creator clash hours, and they were like, well, I don't know. I mean, remember how much fun you had with that Coke? And I was like, that doesn't answer the Burger King question. So then I started overthinking it.

And I don't think I'm overthinking it anymore. I think that they were, they're kind of hinting at it. Well, not me overthinking it, because I never thought of it as some sort of like, you know, it's what Russia does. It's called Compromat, where they purposely will set you up in a situation just to collect blackmail on a person to use against you. But everyone did coke back there we all did a line. Some of us did more than one line. I mean Mark was back there he was the one

that supplied it all and it was good. Just throw a yakuza. This is from a buddy from Nicaragua it It's really good Yeah, but God you should have seen someone like can some really good artist just draw a really detailed beautiful portrait of like Mark high on his like high out of his mind on coke with like coke like around his nose and stuff I would love like he's sweating you can see some of the sweat bleeding through the shirt He's wearing like so you can see his nipples. I would fucking love Like a beautiful oil paint. I'd hang that up. We'd hang that up in the office You mail it to us ready it like mark like we get so imagine the three of us Like like you and I like standing on opposite sides of mark. We're all sweaty

Pinpoint pupils mark is leaning down with the dollar bill, just dripping sweat, there's lines of coke. See, I almost just like it being a picture of just Mark. Just because it's kind of like this, it's like this historical figures painting, but it's a Mark. Like in the style of like an old, kind of almost like, just an oil painting portrait. Yeah. Yeah, like a Renaissance type thing guys artists

It's a good it's a I want the really good artists to to think about this one. Not the ones that use crayons Mmm, although you don't make some y'all do some good stuff. Did you ever get thunderclap as a kid? Oh, of course like Bah yeah for those who are unaware. I think they're called like Mickey Mouse or some shit. Yeah, it has different names, but I always knew it as a thunder clap. It's where you go up behind someone and you use both hands and you just, their ears. Yep. And it is one of the loudest, most deafening, deorienting, deorient? Disorienting things that can happen it can actually rupture your eardrums so don't do it but it is even even at a

light tap it's very painful so guys if there's ever someone on the street being racist and you're like I'm gonna be a hero and sucker punch them you you never know if the sucker punch is gonna do enough so if you thunderclap them they will be so disoriented they won't be able to retaliate and you'll know if the thunderclap works because you'll see the the the yellow bird spinning up above their head yeah that's that's a clear sign that it worked and it just in case you can follow it up with a bonk on the top of the head and if you do it hard enough, it'll create a giant kind of like, pink brew bump.

It'll rise up, so you'll know that it's, and really, you know, because this person is a racist and they deserve it, if you wanna go over the top, you can drop a piano from like a third or fourth floor window on top of their head, and you'll know that you did a good job with that one because they'll crash, you know, the piano will crash through them

and they'll be sitting upright through it and their teeth, instead of their teeth, the piano keys will be there. And then they'll fall out one by one making the sound. And as well, just to make sure that we're on the same page here, their eyes while this is going on will be going in circles around in head and it will sound like...

Out of sync with each other. Yeah, it'll sound like marbles rolling, I guess just rolling around a spherical bowl or something. Right. And ideally you want all three of these to be occurring simultaneously. Yes. You want the bump, the teeth, the birds, but... So that's the best way to handle racists from from our experience Nazis

racists bigots go go go go buck wild hog wild buck wild either or buck cherry crazy bitch but you fucked so good I'm on top this episode might have been this might be a record for most lies we've told about other people we know. I did have a dream, I remembered a dream I had last night. Okay. This might be a good way to wrap it up. I had a dream last night, because I was watching our clips guy that cuts clips. I was going through the Google Drive folder.

Just watching us. In your dream or in real life? No, no, this is real life. Before bed, I was watching through the clips, and there was one that I was like, oh yeah, we probably can't post that one, because it was Danny Slander. Of course.

So, in my dream, we did a podcast episode where we came up with some new Danny Slander and I don't remember what it was, but I just remember it was not okay and we aired it and I remember like after the fact of airing it being like, oh no, we're gonna get sued. Well, again, we would get sued again. Again, yeah.

And it's a good time to put out a disclaimer that Danny Sex Bang is in no way affiliated with the white supremacist organization, the Proud Boys. Just wanna make sure that is perfectly crystal clear. Yes. The wig stuff... That's up for interpretation. Yeah. Because who truly knows at the end of the day? I don't. But guys thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of SuperMegaShow. If you want to support us you can go check out our Patreon where we've got an extra chunk of this episode and you can get your name in the episode

as a producer or executive producer. They're on screen right now. Thank you to all of you. Yeah, Ryan tipped his hat to you. I did. I'll tip my beanie. I might have done it the wrong direction. I think it was fun.

I think Luke can still, yeah, he'll zoom in to make sure yeah, so yeah cool But but thank you guys so much for tuning in for real your support means the world it allows us to do Stuff like the Jesus sketch we released recently and allows us to afford several sailing lessons But see you guys. This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users' phone numbers, emails, and social security numbers, delivering real-time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to

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