supermegashow - ONLY Jokes, NO Stories | supermegashow - 095

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

Let's just say, the boys are gigglin'. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/ SUPERMEGA Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary. Based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride.  Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When hair starts to thin, confidence can too. That's why hymns makes it simple to feel like yourself again, with access to simple, personalized care that fits your life and your hair goals. You guys might not know it, but that was actually me, Matt Watson, doing that voice. And what you might not also know is that I, it was getting real scared that my hair was starting to thin a couple years ago, you know? I'm reaching that age in the late 20s. But luckily I found hymns. For simple online access to personalize and affordable care for health.

hair loss, erectile dysfunction, weight loss, and more, visit hymns.com slash supermega. That's hymns.com slash supermega for your free online visit. Again, that's HIMS.com slash super mega. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary, based on studies at topical and oral monoxide and fanasteride. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy. please sit and stretch steep flip or that and enjoy via rail love the way and heavenly father you know

be with both matthew and i as we as we try to make a funny podcast and and please if you could um you know send a few brand deals our way not to say that money is important because it's it's it's um it's not it's not your important but it's the root of all evil yeah but you know never hurts yeah you know we're no you know we're just playing but like um for real a little money never hurt a brother exactly like but for real god if you could um if you could like uh make this one go viral this podcast episode that would be pretty epic and i would uh i would love you i mean not that i don't love you. Fuck.

Shit. Oh, God. Amen. I had to back out. I had to leave like a man. Like that's your way of like, oh shit. Hanging up. Yeah.

Yeah. I like saying amen is hanging up on God. He can't hear anything after that. He's like, it just ends the prayer. Amen. He can't hear anything that you say after that. It's like, fuck I fucked up. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Dude, pray back. Pray back, dude. Did you get some monster in your eye? Does that ever happen to you? I took a sip of my freaking monster energy drink. And it spilled up into your eye? And it splashed straight up into my eyeball. Did it burn?

There's no sugar in there, you know? Yeah, you know, it's, you know, we're being healthy because this monster zero sugar and then you if you look at the ingredients it's like 50 chemicals you've never heard of that are in place of the sugar but there's no sugar yeah dude cyanide what um asbestos yeah it's just a little asbestos and actually they did a study that in small uh small doses asbestos can be good for you it's like uh rat poop yep or bugs Well, actually, bugs are good for you. I mean, we've talked about this.

They're the most abundant source of protein. You know, when all the animals die out because of the environmental issues, we'll still have bugs to eat. We'll have two things. We'll have people and bugs. We'll have bugs to eat and we'll have just the smug satisfaction knowing Al Gore was correct. Yep. Man bear pig from South Park. And then they had to do the apology kind of episode.

episode where man bear pig was real what i i know i don't think i ever saw the man bear pig south park episodes and i don't know what that's about is it like making fun of um an inconvenient truth it's so al gore is big on like environment you know like global warming right man bear pig is in place of global warming so he's warning the town of south park about man bear pig but then i think in that episode you find out that it's just him dressed up as man bear pig to scare people And that's kind of, that was their take on the situation at the time. Later they made an episode where it turns out Al Gore was right. And they're like, yeah, we were wrong.

And it turns out Al Gore was right. And man bear pig is real. And he's like fucking brutally maiming people around South Park. Okay. That makes sense now. I've always wondered what man bear pig was. It's actually pretty, I think it's a, it's an interesting arc that evolved with truth over time. You know what's, it evolved with an inconvenient truth.

over time. Hey, come on, put her there. You do a separate noise for the mic bump. Yeah, the mic bump, Luke, make sure that was like a... It's not a fist bump. Maybe that was like a champagne glass clink, you know? I like that. Yeah.

Very satisfying. But it's funny because whenever I go home, actually I brought it out to California. I brought a whole bunch of like old drawings that I did in elementary school and middle school back out and I have a bin full of them and I was going through them and it's really funny how many of them I tried to do like political satire but I didn't understand anything about politics at the time I just like would see it on TV and and hear it on the radio because my dad would always listen to like talk radio so I'd be like would

be right leaning no no no there wouldn't yeah there there there's a couple I found that like like like I didn't understand what I was drawing but I was you know it's like I hear my dad talking about it and then I would like make a funny drawing making fun of uh some democratic senator I've never even like I don't remember sounds like when I got in trouble and got sent to the principal's office for drawing George Bush as a monkey with my buddy such a great story and then threatened by the principal that we could be we could go to jail for this could you tell it again dad no it's such a good story I mean that's pretty much what did the what did the principal say to you like I mean we both went to the principal's office

because the teacher I guess I can't remember specifics all I remember is we ended up in the principal's office with the drawing right there and it's like it's like something to the extent of is like do you think this is funny well yeah dude of course it's fine

do you know that you know if you know you could be thrown in jail for this because it's something something to a present it's like not good for a person This was sixth grade.

Okay, I'm just imagining, like, the headlines, like, just like, this was 2006. The perp walk of two sixth graders being, like, walked in handcuffs by, like, federal marshals. Like, did, just going into federal prison for, for their drawing of George Bush as a monkey. And keep in mind, I'm no artist. So, like, the thing is, I didn't really add much to the, I didn't do much to the drawing. It was mainly the other kid, but I still haven't drawn for it. Throw him under the bus, Ryan.

I will say, oh, no. I have to, because from my recollection, it was a decent, a decent picture is actually pretty good and funny. Don't sell yourself sure, man. You're pretty good at drawing. Not like this kid. This kid was an artiste in the best, in the most respectful of ways. Kind of like Michelangelo. Right. Or Picasso. Well, Picasso. Or Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, the movie. Right. What?

A work of art. Yeah. It's up there. Michelangelo The works of Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy Do you have you ever seen that movie? No, I saw the trailer

for it back when it was doing its run in theaters Nice, I haven't seen it We should watch it for Uncle's Sleepover. I have no interest in watching We should see what all the Hipes about

I don't think there was any hype for that movie Everyone loved it, dude Was there any hype for that movie? Dude, I just remember everyone everyone for a stint of time just like for a month straight talking about Tinker Taylor's Soldier Spies Yeah, they were going to

the midnight premiere. Are you excited for part two because it was a part one part two situation. They split it in half. They didn't. I hate when they do that. What was that movie about espionage, maybe? I'm guessing it was, uh, is it a rom-com? I know it has to do with like spirey.

Yeah, I think, I don't know, I don't think it's a, it's definitely like an espionage because tinker, like someone who tinkers, Taylor, I don't know why they need some guy who makes clothes. Or a guy named Taylor. But then there's a soldier and a spy, which 50% of that title is also, is war based. Oh, and war, yeah. Well, spies in war go hand in hand. Because, I mean, without war, what is a spy actually? You know, what does a spy to do? We don't want any wars, but I will change a department's name to reflect war.

Dude, you just... Perfect. That's like in master of disguise. The guy just like, he toots after... Every time he laughs. We got to watch that front. Well, the last time I saw it, I remember was in South Carolina. I went over to Daniel's house.

and I had forgotten, like I hadn't seen it since in theaters at that point, so it's been, it had been a bit. And I forgot all about the running gag of the guy that, like, laughs and then farts. And when it happened, I was laughing my ass off. I was like, I remember dying as a kid. I don't remember at all. I don't remember this habit. It's the best bit in the movie. Unfortunately, I thought, I start to be like, man, this is boring. It's boring? Like two-thirds of the way in. I don't even think it's a long run time. No, I remember that, and I remember the, dramatic like get that underwear off your head and then i remember the turtle turtle thing and i remember the end scene with george bush at the pool party oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i thought it was

george bush when i was a kid what about when he does quint from jaws quint quint that's a the guy who is like man there's a shark and he's man i'm gonna kill him i don't remember that because i i had no clue what that would have been referencing as a kid see i i i I was introduced to Jaws at a very early age. I would say elementary school. I watched Jaws, too. I mean, think about it. Like, I was definitely obsessed with sharks in terms of, you know, how you find little obsessions as a kid?

Like, one week you're obsessed with sharks. Another week, it's dinosaurs. Dude, I still do that as an adult. Well, I mean, well, we're on the, we really want to be YouTube stars. We're 10 years into it. Some people want to be astronauts. You know, we want to be YouTube stars. Not only are we 10 years into that,

we're 10 minutes into recording without realizing the cameras are not recording. No, no, no, the cameras have been on it. The lights have been off this whole time, unfortunately. Oh, let me turn the lights on. Yeah, turn the lights on. Hold on. Shit. There we go.

Okay. I couldn't tell. the light, you know, I was where, I was, I could, you know, it looked normal, looked fine to me. Well, when we were praying at the beginning, I had my eyes shut and I'd just kept them shut this whole time. Yeah. I didn't realize. Sorry everyone. Yeah. Man, crazy how you just miss the lights being off sometimes. So it happens to the best of us, man. And we're getting old, you know, with cataracts and everything. You know, cataracts make everything seem dark. Exactly. Man, my underwear's peeking out. Yeah, I see that, dude. My underwear could never peek out of these bad boys. If I was wearing long johns maybe

Long John Silver No the restaurant Absolutely not What the best restaurant in the world Long John Silver Do what are the odds Immediately after this podcast You and I have to go to Long John Silver's

Are they in L.A? I don't think I've ever seen a Long John Silver's In California Are they still even a restaurant Are they like a southeast thing? So I'm pretty sure that Long John Silver's is owned by the same company the same, like, chain that owns, like, TGI Fridays,

um, Applebee's. I feel like all of those restaurants are owned by the same. Red Lobster. Well, there's a bunch, there's hybrid ones. There's one 37 minutes away. That's a Long John Silver's and a KFC. Dude, long, hush puppies, fish sticks. Dude, this is disgusting.

Wait, I'm sorry. Long John Silver's hybrid KFC. Isn't Long John Silver's like a sit-down restaurant? long john silvers is like fast food seafood so like fish sticks coleslaw hush puppies yeah i i always thought it was like a sit like a red lobster type like sit down like that's where you order from what dude i didn't know it was like fast food so that's 37 minutes away though yeah but that's at 122 we wouldn't be out of here until high high traffic time which at another 37 minutes to that maybe, if not more.

But how good would that Long John Silver's taste, my man? Man, some hush puppies and fish sticks with some coleslaw and dry fries. I'm not going to lie, dude. I'm really hungry right now, and that does sound good. Yeah, it sounds good, but not from Long John Silver's. We should go to Red Lobster. It was a meme for a bit, too. And we could get some unlimited lobster.

Isn't that their thing? It's not their thing that instead of... What are the most expensive dishes? Instead of bottomless breadsticks, it's unlimited lobster. Lobster at Lobster House? Yeah. Sorry, red lobster, not lobster house. Is there a place called Lobster House?

That's a great name. It's a great name. We should steal it up. We should change the name of the podcast. Lobster. Or like the name of the mini on Patreon. You know, lobsters live forever. Exactly, because lobsters are like masculine, right?

They're like dominant alphas. And they can live forever. Welcome back to Lobster House. Bitch. Okay, there's a lot. There's a red lobster in Englewood. To quote Bruno Mars, Englewood's finest shoes. More like shingle wood.

Because I have shingles. It's healing, man. It's healing. It's because they have nice houses and the shingles are, if you look at the roofs, they decorate. They decorate well over there. They do. And now I've made myself, I snapped and I'm sorry. Or more like Englewood.

Nice. They'll think. More like angled wood. Huh? Me, when I have a protractor in my erection, and I'm going, yeah, 12 degrees. Ah, man. Wait, what would 12 degrees? No, that's not a very, well, if I'm laying down, that's not a big erection,

but if I'm standing up and it's 12 degrees, that's a pretty big erection, right? It's like, that's like a straight out penis. Wait, wait, if you're standing up, it's a big erection, but when you're sitting down, it's not. What are you talking about? No, no, like 12 degrees, the angle of my erection, if I'm laying down 12 degrees, that's pretty, That's like my, you see, it's like flat. But if I'm standing up, that same 12 degrees is now.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd prefer it at a good 45, please. 45 is good laying down or standing up. Yep. Now, 180 range starts to get a little dicey, laying down and standing up. It's just back inside. Wait, dude, I'm pretty sure there's like a condition called penis panic or something where, like, your dick goes inside your body.

Sounds like something you have every weekend, penis panic, because you're panicking for some penis. That's a real medical condition, man. People suffer. Yeah. When they don't get any penis like you on the weekends, when you have your penis panic. So. At read. When hair starts. to thin, confidence can too. That's why hymns makes it simple to feel like yourself again, with access to simple, personalized care that fits your life and your hair goals.

You guys might not know it, but that was actually me, Matt Watson doing that voice. And what you might not also know is that I, it was getting real scared that my hair was starting to thin a couple years ago, you know? I'm reaching that age in the late 20s and, you know, this hair, just ain't looking as thick as it used to. And that's no good for a handsome YouTube star like me, okay? I can't be V-sauce up in here. I can't be Fantano. I have a weird-shaped head. It just wouldn't work.

But luckily, I found hymns. They offer convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including chews, oral medication serums, and sprays. They got doctor-trusted ingredients like finasteride and monoxidil, which, guys, I take both. Those can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. Think of Hymns is your digital front door that gets you back to your old self. For simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss, erectile dysfunction, weight loss, and more, visit Hems.com slash super mega.

That's Hems.com slash super mega for your free online visit. Again, that's HIMS.com slash super mega. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary. Based on studies at topical and oral monoxide and fanastroid. Hi, I'm Jessica Clemens from new rock stars.

Eric Voss and I are hosting a new podcast called Rumor Run Down. For years ahead of their releases, all of the big Marvel, DC and Star Wars projects have ton of casting, plot, and other rumors are swirling around them, but you can't believe everything you read. The two of us supply our years of experience on film sets and professional entertainment newsrooms and our own network of sources in the entertainment industry to tell you what scoop you can actually trust. Every week, the Rumor Undown will sniff out, is this rumor even remotely possible? Is it from a reliable source? would it mean if it were true? If you're somebody who loves nerdy gossip but needs experts to keep

things honest, you'll love rumor rundown. You can get it for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. When news breaks about Marvel, DC, Star Wars, or anything else you're obsessed with, the break room is where the conversation is happening. I'm John Costa. And I'm Zach Huddleston. Together with our co-host, Eric Voss, Jessica Clemens, Brandon Barrack and Gina Epilito, we help you digest the headlines around your favorite fandoms. Casting, plot leaks, interviews, actors crashing out on social media. We get into all. All of it. Plus, we do weekly after shows and Q&As for the breakroom's favorite shows and movies.

We got you covered, and we'll give you the context you need to have a deeper understanding of the things you love. With new shows three times a week, you'll be up to speed in no time. Listen to the break room for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, there's a red lobster in Inglewood, but there's also one in Canoga Park, which is where Brian Cranston's from, Walter Hartwell White, 908, Negro Royale Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico. The people who have that house don't like people visiting. Oh, she told Speed off.

Did Speed not warn her? That's the thing. I thought that, like, she, I thought clips of her good with it. Yeah. And then after the fact. She started complaining. I mean, I've seen that lady before in real life. I've been to the house, too.

Did she come out and yell at you? I know. And you even yelled at by her? But she was, she was, she was, she was sternly watching from afar. But she knew why you were there. Yeah. I wasn't the only person there, by the way. Oh, okay.

There's, there's, yeah, have you, have you been to the Breaking Bad House? Mm-mm. Okay. I've been. To the Malcolm House, to the Breaking Bad House. Yeah, the Malcolm House makes me sad. Because it's not there anymore and it's like a modern home, right? Have you seen the Malcolm house?

No. because well part of me is like it's a modern home shit you know it is the street the street is cool though okay like being on the street because what about smosh street have you been to smosh street no that's up in sacramento right luke has Luke you want my my one of my favorite stories is when luke was in high school uh because luke's from sacramento he he hung out with uh Ian from smosh with some of his friends because it was just like because Ian like knew something someone or Ian had like a foreign exchange student that was staying with him that Luke knew and it and then it was like come hang out with Ian day so like years ago come hang out with

Ian like like Luke has seen the uh the old car oh shit the blue one so I mean that's that's crazy piece of a YouTube lore dude I'd be freaking out if I were if I were in Luke's shoes at that point in time dude oh my God yeah absolutely an internet icon and personal hero Ian Hickox yeah and Anthony Padilla Padilla Remember the video Anthony's Mexican? Yes

Dude honestly dude You and I should We should hang out We should have a sleepover We should smoke up And we should just watch All the old Smosh videos All the old food battles

Yeah I mean Of course Watch it like we're sitting there And we're just like I didn't know they used the N word This much I don't remember that Okay but for real

Red Lobster and Inglewood, Canoga Park, or Lakewood. I've only been a Lakewood. Okay, Englewood is the closest, with Lakewood being the second. Long John Silver's? Red Lobster. Oh, Red Lobster. That's the closest one? Is Inglewood, yeah.

So that's down by LAX. Why don't we just go get some oysters? There's plenty of oyster bars around. Or places that. give you oysters that will make you feel like dog shit the next day but there are a lot of places you can tell when you just put it in your mouth like like you could tell if it's if it's an oyster that's oh yeah when you got oysters and hooters wait were they were they out of the i think they were yeah that's the thing they were out of the oysters that probably that surprised us

because we're like what are they that popular who's ordering the fucking like that means they had a shit ton of oysters and someone fucking cleaned them out dude someone came in and they they had like seconds they had thirds you know it's some disgusting like stepdad uncle type figure just kind of like eyeing girls as he's doing it red in the face fucking like just kind of like you know uh oysters kind of looked like a little something it's like it's like does it you know these are in uh an aprodisiac an aporetizia as he's like making eye contact to and like part of like the meat like falls on his lips like one of the times he's slurping like the juice goes to the bag of his throat and he's like part of the oyster like onto the table shell slips out of his hand and like loudly falls on the floor he uh he's the type of guy that chew the oyster shell and spit it into the bucket

You're going to eat those shelves? Like sunflower seeds. You know, you can eat them. No one says I can't. You're right, sir. No one, no one, I mean. Would they kick you out for eating oyster shells? Your teeth would break, dude.

Maybe not. What are those even made out of? Oyster shells, shells? What is it? A brittle shell-type texture. Like, how does an oyster... Does the oyster make that? Or does the shell already exist in the...

No. It's not like snails. It's a... Or clams. Wait, do they just, like, do they grow the shell with them when they're, like, when they're born? Or, like, are they the shell? Like, I mean, a turtle has a shell. Yeah, and it's born with it.

It doesn't find it. The brain of an oyster. Dude, the anatomy of an oyster, now that I'm thinking about it. Because every living thing has a brain for the... Jellyfish don't. Okay. But that's because they're aliens. They are, and they've been around since they were like before anything, basically.

Cockroaches? Cockroaches have survived a lot. They used to be bigger. They would survive a fucking nuclear holocaust. Like, if we nuked everything and we all died, they would still... They weren't that big, Ryan. Don't put that, don't put that in my head. They're running around.

Oh, dude, antennas included? Yeah, they were this big. Everything used to be bigger. Imagine, dude. I love how, like, in movies, like, King Kong did it. Like, in, like, prehistoric, it's like the centipedes are three stories tall and shit like that. It's like, all right, they weren't that big. I mean, they were probably massive.

I mean, they were. These days, they're still fucking thick-ass, scary-looking millipede centipede type shit. I got, fucking bit by a centipede in the woods once. You mean, little bastards. Dude, it bit me, I didn't even, I didn't even see it. I found out about it because it fucking bit my ankle and it hurt like shit. And I was like, why would you do that?

You see this creepy little. And then I started freaking out because I was like, is that thing poisonous? It just bit me. And it hurt really bad. Well, you see they're pincers. That means it dug into you and pints. It might have been.

And it's trying to take a chunk out of you. Might have been a millipede. Like, it was big. Did you count the legs? I didn't have time to count the legs. There's that classic family guy joke where like, I think it's a bunch of centipedes, chilling and I'll send a millipede walks up

and it's like hey guys he goes hold on one second one two three four five six seven he does that for an extended period of time that you're not a centipede or some shit like that that's funny that's a funny bit great joke it might have been I remember it had orange on it or hand it was in the it was in the

the forest the national forest that they shot the hunger games in in North Carolina oh did they also shoot in Georgia though They did. This was the first one? Yeah, so this was North Carolina. I'm trying to remember where in North Carolina, but it's a big old national forest, beautiful. But that's where the centipede creature bit me.

You know, they're making another Hunger Games movie is coming out with a bunch of big stars in it. Not Will Poulter, what's his name? Jesse Plemons is going to be in it. Okay, that's pretty good casting. He seems good for that world. Playing the... It's actually really good casting because I never, like, pictured it, but now that I look at it, it's the guy, I can't remember the character's name, the actors passed away. He was in, Philip Seymour Hoffman? Yeah, Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's playing a younger version of him.

Oh, that's great casting. I never, I never thought of that. They kind of have the same, um, expression on their face. I'm still waiting for a movie, and this is a good idea, and you guys need to capitalize on it. were Rain Wilson and, oh shit, I'm forgetting his name, the guy who plays Barry and is on SNL and writing. Bill Hader should play brothers. They have brother energy. Bill Hader is like the younger brother. Yeah, they do have brother energy. Rain Wilson is the older, more collected brother, or they can switch roles if you don't want to play more of a, you know, a Dwight, you know, You don't always have to Yeah, he could

He could be the more collected brother They're great, that would be great Did you know that the guy who played Lex Luther As a teenager in Smallville Has his own podcast? Is this an ad read I was unaware of? No, no, I'm just, did you know? I didn't.

It popped up and I'm like, Wait a second, that's that, because like, Smallville was a, I never watched it. That's an uncle. My uncle would watch it and so I'd always like see it Whenever I was at like

hanging out with my uncle That's an uncle's show That he would also have like a box set Of one random season of it Like just on the shelf But I mean uncles love Superman and Batman and shit Oh yeah they do This is Superman's origin story

My uncle loves why nationalism A little different but You know we all have You know heroes come in all different Shapes and sizes And colors and stuff You know yeah Superman

Super bad I watched Heroes The one with Hayden Panetteer I don't know I still don't know how to say her last name Pantier Panetier She unfortunately needed to

Hollywoodify her name Should have been like Hayden Palmer I don't know I was about to say something so stupid I was about being Hayden Sunshot I mean that's a lot more If you say Hayden Sunshine

Everyone will remember who you're talking about Hated Sunshine Do we all I mean We should just use the power of the internet And try to change the world No Hey

I knew a girl I went to school with a girl Just one? Come on man I knew three Okay Her middle name was Sunshine Because her parents were hippies

But not like a Not like a word in another language Did that mean sunshine? No, it was literally just sunshine. That was for legal middle name. There was a time where a lot of hippies... Well, those were like nicknames where it's like, I'm... Banjo.

Not banjo. I'm... Lillipad Breeze. You know? That's a wonderful hippie name. Lillipad Breeze? I'm going to have to steal it. Well, you don't have to steal it and you came up with it.

Change it in the description. It's no longer Ryan McGee. Luke, we need you to go back through all 2,000-something videos on the channel. Lily Pad Breeze. Yep, there's that many, by the way. Over 2000. It's over 2000. Vigida?

I actually don't know if that is. I think it is. I think it is. I don't know anything about Dragon Ball. No, I didn't like it as a kid. You and I were not interested in Dragon Ball or Power Rangers as kids. I didn't have access to, like, I don't know how I would have watched Dragon Ball as a kid. Like.

At a friend's place? I get, yeah. And I didn't have any friends that were into that. They were all into Naruto. Yeah. And they were all busy collecting their 401K, too. Yeah. So that was kind of the group I rolled with.

The joke is that Matt as a child was hanging around with a bunch of adults. That's why I'm so mature for my age. That's what they always told me. I said, you know, you're pretty mature for your age. And I said, I know. I know. Damn. You know, we'd get together eat oysters.

And they go, you know, they don't, you know, young adult, you know, you're not a kid. anymore son you know you can read those hunger game novels they're in the young adult and they gifted you like the three hunger game novels right yeah I don't know what are you coming up with you hanging out with adults we can get and it into oblivion well that's what I about right now we have they gave me they gave me well they gave me three we have little child Matthew hanging out with a bunch of adults that are that are telling him he's mature for his age and gifting him hunger games books so that's

where we're at and let's and and the thing is I'm not old enough to be reading young adult novels, but I am mature for my age, so I am able to read these young adult novels. They are on my, I am reading at that reading level. And then, and then they slit your throat and kill, and then, what happens next? They slit my throat and kiss me. End scene. Dude, we got to perform that at the end stage. I was going to say kill you. Why did you say kiss you what the fuck I like at an improv show

like the whole awkwardness of like always taking the bit like too far or whatever like kind of like doing something violent where it's like oh I did that at my fucking improv show at UCB yeah I made some joke about like like dude I hated that shit

like I didn't know any of these people I'm doing live improv with on stage and I we were improvving being in like an Uber on the way to an orphanage and I made a joke about blowing up the orphanage or something and I remember it was just like like oh damn too far man it had that vibe and I was like uh-oh yeah you heard in the audience

you heard it ooh yikes dude the worst thing in the world as a stand-up comedian would be hearing an audible yikes yikes it just didn't think crap dude let's start going to the laugh factory just seeing like random comedians and just throwing a yikes out there when like just just just to kind of after the laughter quiet's down and they're about to tell their next I mean, you know what? Everyone would start laughing when you say that. And then you would be the big guy in the room, not the guy on stage. He's like, oh, you want attention?

I go, yep. What do you do for a living? Your mom. Dude, no one has ever said that. I've never seen someone like, they're always like, they always were toured with like engineer. Oh, your mom joke. Well, she doesn't think it's a joke. Dude, why are you not out there?

Just trolling stand-up comedians. We should become like professional hecklers. I opened up, I was scratching something and it turned out to be a scabber. I see there's blood on your hand. Now I'm bleeding. But we don't, I can... We'll talk more about professional heckling

once we're back from the emergency room. Let's go. Come on. No! Hi, I'm Eric Voss from New Rockstars. And if you want to know what's coming up next from the MCU, you should listen to The Sneak Peak, hosted by myself and Jessica Clemens. Sneak peek is your one-stop shop for keeping up with Kevin Feigy and his brain trust of nerd producers.

It's a weekly roundup of all the most important Marvel news so that you can start getting excited about the MCU's next big movie or series before there's even a trailer out. What should we expect? Not just from this phase or saga, but the next one too. Part of the fun of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is being excited about the next chapter. And that excitement is exactly why we make Snake Peak. Listen for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. I checked Uber Eats while you were at them attending to yourself. There's no red lobster.

There's no. Deliver anything? No. There's no red lobster. There's no long John Silvers. I'm really craven it, man. Some hush puppies and fish sticks? So I looked up.

Fries and coleslaw? There's KFC. There's Popeyes. Yeah, but that's that, that, they don't give fish sticks and hush puppies. No. There's soul food There's a soul food restaurant That is like in Glendale we could go to

I have been there It's pretty good Dude as a as a kid Hush Puppies was one of the most amazing Like I was like A breadball Dude when you Sweet breadball

Dude Being being Being Southerners like us When I get a hush puppy Especially on California That's not sweet You know it's just like The flavor is

There's no sweetness I'm like What the fuck is this? Well I mean you know southern the South likes their shit sweet oh yeah but then I think a lot of the times you know I don't have the problem where it's not sweet enough

a lot of times I find that other people try to take Southern sweetness and they always crank it up to 10 like hush puppies like sometimes they're like too sweet think of like the tea like sweet tea that's made here where they just put like a shit ton of McDonald's sweet tea is what I think of chick fillet gets the sweet tea right out here I will say tea at like honestly a chick-fil-a in the south or like a it's different too yeah or like a

McDonald's in the south it is so different because even here like the chick-fil-a sweet tea is made with la tap water yeah which the thing about like L.A. tap water is like it's disgusting you could still taste it through like the soda you're drinking at a restaurant because it's made with tap water so it's like we're used to it but like when you go somewhere else in the country and And then have, like, a soda or a sweet tea. You're like, oh, my God. Especially with somewhere where, I think, we've mentioned this before. I can't remember where I heard this from.

This guys go to 7-Eleven. Which one? And the very, in the first, in the guys go to a 7-Eleven vlog, I think you mentioned it. Oh, just how Columbia? About Columbia's clean water? I think it does. I don't know. You said it was the cleanest in the country, I think.

I don't know if it's cleanest in the country. Someone told me that it's clean as, hold up. I'm going to look up, Columbia. To see if there's any truth to this, because I trusted a friend. There was a whole scandal in my hometown, a while back about the drinking water and about someone lying about something, and there being some poisonous shit in it, I don't know, something. Good thing I don't live there anymore, so I'm not getting poison. Speaking of hometown, shout out to the fan that came up to me at Starbucks recently and said that she went to my middle school and my high school

and grew up in the same neighborhood that I grew up in. That's crazy. Bro, I'm just getting infographics. Infographics. Yeah. City of Columbia 2021 water quality report. Okay. Check that out.

Dude, I got one of those in the mail for where I live. It was like a full water quality report. And I was like, does everyone check it out? I did. I read through it. How was it? It was fine. It was just fine.

I mean, it wasn't like, it wasn't like perfect, but it was, it was like it was it was it was to the quality of like I would feel comfortable drinking it but the thing about LA tap water just has that taste dude yeah it's like it's calcium I don't know if it's calcium I don't know if it's fucking to me it always tastes like it's been sitting in like an aluminum can that's a great way to put it yeah like it just canned water it always feels like someone's pouring it out of some sort of can or something it tastes like bathtub water or like pool water yeah you know it's like water that is more bathtub water because that is tap water yeah oh yeah but it just it just has that flavor that's like you shouldn't it feels like water okay when

you're at the swimming pool like you and you accidentally swallow a mouthful of water without the chlorine taste yeah that's how it that's how it feels when you drink it it's like I shouldn't be drinking this this is water that maybe I could swim it oh god sorry I just had memories of it because you'd swallow pool water from time to time big old gulfs yeah it's a bad feeling I remember the first time on a fucking cruise ship. I didn't I was a kid and I didn't know that they use salt water in the pools

of the cruise ship. They used ocean water or whatever, you know, filtered or whatnot. But so I go down the slide and I'm just like you know, excited. You know, sometimes you get a little at a water park, you get a little water up. You're ready for the chlorine. It doesn't matter. I was ready. It stung like a motherfucker. I just go in like mouth open, just super excited. Just

nothing but salt water. Shot my nose and down my throat and I'm just it was awful dude salt water hurts especially when you're not expecting it dude dude if you have you ever been smashed by a giant wave yes and you know like the type of wave that picks you up and just

who it's like it doesn't like carry you with it it just slaps your back really hard yeah or it really just slams you down and you hit the bottom of the seafloor yeah and like all the water shoots up your nose and down your throat that shit burns and then you have the slime coming out because

of all the mucous and stuff. It's no fun. The most embarrassing thing is having a boogie running down your nose when you're swimming and you don't notice. Oh my God. Someone has to go, been there, done that.

And you can never tell because you're all wet. You know, I'm really pissed that we have not evolved to like, you know, be able to self-recognize that and differentiate it from water. I'm just going to have one of those

pitching things from now on when I swim, just go, that looks miserable wearing one of those. I don't think I have ever seen someone actually wearing one of those. what? Swimmers, maybe? Like the, I mean...

Old people? I've seen the caps and the goggles, but I haven't seen the... Well, I mean, think about how awesome a swimming cap is. You go swimming, you're all wet, your hair's fine. It's never really fine because it's... Oh, it's like hat hair times 10. Yeah. Like, oh my God, dude.

When I have to take off a bald cap from... Maybe, let's just say, a little sketch that we did a three-day... shoot for where maybe I had a prosthetic bald cap on dude when I would take that off at the end of the day my hair holy fuck because you have to put you have to take like three different like not three showers but you had to diff was it three times you had to clean up because you had makeup applied right yeah I once that sketches out I we should do a like react video and I'll tell the story we mean we got to do the behind the giggles yeah absolutely that's and I can I can talk about that process of the makeup but it was whenever I would I would

peel that fucking thing off at the end of the day it sucked because you have to put gel in your hair to slick it down first to get it really flat and then put the thing on. So like all day it's just been fucking jailed. Have you tried lard? I didn't try lard and next time we shoot I absolutely will. Cover it, dude. Imagine just like Criscoe. Yeah. God, dude.

People used to put, didn't people actually put Crisco in their hair? I mean, if you want to look like a schnazzy gentleman, you know, with slick back hair, you know, look how I think you and I should become greasers. Ooh, with toothpicks and sunglasses and leather jackets and shit. We'll be like the tunnel snakes in Fallout 3. Exactly, dude.

And you and I, we can, like, stand up against brick walls, like, you know, just like this. I can maybe even have a chain come out on my pocket. I'm swinging around. Someone's walking by, I stick my foot out. It fills all their textbooks. Watch where you walk in there, bucko. I like that. What would your greaser name be?

Stinky Stephen. Dude, showing up at a greaser meeting. Do they have those? I mean, like, yeah, where they all, like, start to go, and they start singing at someone that they don't like, you know? Yeah, the meetings are always in, like, a dark alleyway. They pick someone walking and learn on that, and all of a sudden they just hear a collective.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a, you meet under the fire escape and the dark alley. Like the first Spider-Man movie, when he kissed Mary Jane upside down. Or did she kiss him? I don't remember. They kissed. Well, she asked for permission and then they kissed.

Can I kiss those lips? Still very interesting choice. Like, was it the director's choice? To be like, can you just not wear a bra for this scene? I know it's a kid's comic book movie, but... She didn't? No. It's like a big meme about like that whole scene, essentially,

where it's just like, what was that about? I mean, she's just... I don't remember that. It's raining. She's drenched. No, bro. Oh, she's wet. Yes.

I just remember, like, as a kid, just be like... Like, it was almost like... Because you're watching it with your parents, but... Yeah, exactly. It's almost like there's like a, like, even though it wasn't a nude scene, it's the same kind of like, oh my God, as like a nude scene. Oh, yeah, because it's like, it's, you know, it's like nudity. It's one step removed from nudity.

And they're both wet and kissing and shit. Yeah. Get that off my screen, please. So I don't remember that about that scene, but I also don't remember the last time I've seen that movie. I was about to be like, dude, look at it. But I don't want to be a podcast of two dudes. Dude, look at this brawless actress and Spider-Man.

She's wet, dude, it's been under the rain machine. You could see her tits. But, like, in my head, I'm like, you know, if a movie doesn't get put out. Like, decisions were made. Like, that was a decision. The director or the costume department's like, oh, take the bra off. Yeah, like, someone said, something. And that's all that's, that's all I'll say about that. It's just interesting that that was

done in Toby McGuire's Spider-Man won, you know, where Spider-Man fights the green goblin. Yeah. And, you know, it sucks for him. He probably couldn't even see those nipples through that, that, that, in that mask. Yeah, it was a stunt double, unfortunately. Toby McGuire almost quit and wasn't going to be in Spider-Man 2. And then, you know, well, actually, there was a, there was actual drama at one point where, with Mr. McGuire? With Mr. McGuire? With Mr. McGuire, and I think that Jake Gyllenhaal was set to potentially take his place. That's not a bad, uh... What, Jake Gyllenha then came in with the new Spider-Man as Mysterio.

And... So, you know, came full circle-ish, I guess, I don't know. If I'm not mistaken, that probably would have been awkward, and they wouldn't have starred together in the movie Brothers. Oh, which was phenomenal. I've only seen the scene where he freaks out. I watched that with my parents at home It's just a

It seems depressing It's a depressing movie It's just like not a movie that I'm like It's not winning any awards It's just kind of like A movie if you feel like watching like A sadish movie But at the same time it's

There's a I don't know It's one of those You know those weird movies Where you see a lot of respectable actors That like they're getting good roles And all of a sudden something out of the blue Will come in It's like a lifetime movie

It's like what are they doing in this like Lifetime type of thing And that's how I felt about that one, because it's, it's Natalie Portman, Jake Gyllenhall. Yeah, it's got like an all-star cast. I think J.K. Simmons might even be in it as like a dad figure. Well, don't, don't quote me on that. Well, I at least know the first three years. That's interesting, actually, yeah, because there are those movies sometimes that have like a crazy star-studded cast, but like they're just not, they're not like anything special.

And you don't really see a lot of promotion for them. that's always interesting to me. Do you remember those movies that they're like that but taken up to 10 where it was like Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve? It was these movies that were just all about a holiday where the main purpose was an amalgamation of different characters' stories, kind of like a love actually, but just always existing on a different day. They did it for like, as I said, Valentine's Day. Yes. Mother's Day. Or just any small holiday, there was a stint where just people were.

people were making these movies and the reason that they made so much money was because they just got a shit ton of big actors to be in like a 20 minutes of the movie here and there and they put that in the trailer and everything Yeah I do I do remember that

St. Patrick's Day Arbor Day Groundhog Day Well that is a very famous movie It is a very famous movie Do you remember those though? No I do I 100% know what you're talking about 2010 film the one I remember the most is Valentine's Day because like let me let me I want to go to

the IMDB and just list off the cast so Valentine's Day the movie has Julia Roberts Anne Hathaway Jessica Beale Bradley Cooper Jamie Fox Jennifer Gardner Jessica Alba Emma Roberts and like Taylor Lautner Ashton Coucher Taylor Swift uh Kathy Bates Patrick Dempsey what tofer grace Queen Latifah George Lopez Dude this is this is a dream cast But like every single one of these movies Would just get like 20 different celebrities

And that that would be the point of the movie It was just like let's spot the celebrity And it's like a celebrity script too Oh yeah it's it's Pokemon snap for celebrities Essentially for the people that enjoy it Yeah I mean I can't I don't want to say That movie specifically has a shitty script I'm just saying like those movies are always like

And also like those movies don't have a lot of rewatchability because no one wants to watch a movie about Valentine's Day in July. And then if you if you'd let me, I absolutely will. Okay, hold on. Because then another one, and I was right, I was like, did they do it? New Year's Eve is another one of those movies. It came out in 2011. The other one came out in 2010. As I said, this was a very short state. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember. And listen to the cast of this. You got Michelle Pfeiffer, Zach Efron, Robert De Niro, Hillary Swank, Catherine High Abigail Breslin

Jessica Beal Ashton Coucher again Josh Dumal which you would recognize him from like he was kind of like a small actiony guy he was in like Transformers and shit for a little bit

Sarah Jessica Parker Hallie Berry John Bon Jovi Ludacris Sophia Vergara Vigara Vigara

From modern family Yep Seth Myers Ryan Seekrest Yeah, it's just like Oh my, Nat Wolf was in it Sarah Paulson was in it I love Sarah Paulson Jake T Austin

I don't know who that is Him I don't know what that is Come on dude Jake T. Austin Dude if he's a fan and he's watching him right now I'm gonna feel really bad He plays the

Doesn't he play the younger brother from Wizards of Waverly Place? I never watched Wizards of Waverly Place Did you not? No shit You missed out dude One of the greatest shows of all time. Disney Channel was a 32-year-old man.

31. 31-year-old man. I will say yesterday, I did have the thought of, am I 31 or 32? Like, I was, like, thinking about, because my birthday's coming up in six months anyways, kind of like another half year, right? Because we're in December.

Or seven months. It's because Tucker just turned 32. It is. Is Luke 32? Did you tell Tucker, Happy birthday? It was on Black Friday. No.

But I'm bad at, I'm bad at birthday. I need to put everyone's birthday on a calendar. Oh, I only remembered because I... I used to be updated by, like... My phone just tells me... Instagram and the birthday. Dude, Facebook used to be the...

But I don't go on those. I don't, I don't check, like, fucking Facebook anymore. Dude, there was a period in time in the, like, in the 2010s where, like... You know, I don't think, I don't think friends will ever, there will, I don't think there will ever again be that much consistent happy birthdays because you had Facebook and Facebook would remind you it was someone's birthday and it'd be so easy just to go, happy birthday on their wall. Or like, Twitter might still do this, but remember you used to go to their page and balloons

would fly. Yeah, exactly. Where Facebook would just, you log in and it's like, oh, Blank's birthday. Facebook was the best for that shit. I always, you always felt like such a good friend. I know. And now, because no one really. uses Facebook. Well, that's not true. That's a time when social media was the best, but we were still all on the internet, but it was kind of collected to, like, little communities,

essentially. Facebook pages. Like, maybe, I know Facebook is still used, but I do kind of miss the days of seeing people I knew in real life and, like, just saying stuff and getting likes from only people they knew, and it's not ever going outside of the circle of

friends that you've gotten from school, work, or just, family you know what I mean yeah yeah it's a very close knit now I mean we work in the industry where that's you know that's the that's the opposite of yeah what our personas are we don't unless we have like a private account you know we don't have privacy to that level um in terms of being able to just I'm talking more so yes we can still have private Facebooks like Facebooks and no one can get in I mean more so we don't really have that ability to just say

shit whenever whatever it doesn't matter it's like it's always it's almost like there's always this realm of a lot of people are going to see this so i have to make sure it's like okay i have to you know i can't just uh i don't want to give updates on like my personal life because these people aren't my real friends they don't know me yeah uh yeah so it's just i mean of course it's different i mean it's social media to a mass group of strangers yeah exactly a close knit kind of MySpacey vibe. Dude. Oh, the MySpace was a good, uh, I never had it. I didn't have it either

my sister did that. I had some girl make me one. Some girl. It was some some some girl who was hanging out with me to make her ex jealous. Ooh. And I didn't find out until later. Oh, that feels bad. Yeah. I was like spicy and then I realized

like that, that just, that I would feel very bad about that if I were like, I'd be like, oh, so you didn't really want to hang out with me? I thought we were just, you know, I thought we were chilling we went to the movies dude i remember we went to the movies what'd you see i can't remember the movie all i remember is that her ex then showed up and just sat behind us at the movie theater what yeah and i was just like i was just like whoa and like we weren't we weren't like me and this girl like had never no romantic like thing like there was nothing there we were like strictly just

friends holy shit but like he he was not playing around dude that that's that's that's scary it's the same kid who it's the same guy who introduced me to smosh by the way no fucking way yeah yeah yeah so i mean you you owe him something i don't know if i owe him anything i mean dude he was he was kind of a he was kind of a little he was i would categorize him you know the when you're a kid there's always like these little categories he was just a little angry person a little angry he was just a little angry kid he was always like read about something yeah i know I remember those kids. Dude, that's...

Well, maybe you could also take it as a compliment because she chose you to make him jealous. It was with a group, by the way, at the movies. It wasn't just me and her. Oh, okay. Me, her, one of her friends, and then, like, maybe one other person. Okay, I thought it was just the two of you

and then he showed up behind you. And I'm like, that's some ex-husband stalker... But he still showed up and, like, sat in the row, two rows behind us and just... With his, like, hook... For the audio listeners that were not able to see the visual joke,

When Ryan screamed, it's because he accidentally hit his hat off, and then it revealed a balding head of hair. Or lack thereof.