supermegashow - Planet of the Gapes | supermegashow - 124

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

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There's Ringo, Scott, John, and Paul, and they... What about DeMarcus? Wasn't he the drummer? No, I was Scott. What the fuck is DeMarcus? The Beatles? Yeah, there's no. The fifth beetle?

There's four beetles. Ringo, Scott, John. Oh, you know what? Paul DeMarcus. Was there even John? John Michael. John Michael, I think. Okay.

Doesn't matter? I think he still went by John. I think just John, yeah. Let me go look. I'm just going to go look it up. We can record the episode. Okay. Welcome, welcome one and all to another episode.

episode, fantabulous, fun-filled episode of the Super Mega Podcast. Well, Super Mega Show, the Super Mega Podcast. Dude, at this point, it's just the super mega podcast. It's the easiest, just, it encapsulates all of it from Super Mega Cast, Super Mega Show. It's all just the Super Mega Podcast. They're like a different seasons of the Super Mega Podcast. Right, right.

You know, you get Super Mega Cast, a Mega Show. Something like that. Yeah, it's all the same bullshit at the end of the day. stirred around in the same mixing pot, the same cauldron, bubbling with all of our silly little jokes and bits and stories and antics? I don't know, but yeah, I'm feeling just a little lower on the energy spectrum this episode, just because we got back from a long trip, went to go just shoot some stuff,

and also are on the way the pilot. he was drunk and we had to land a plane and we had to walk the rest of the way it was like a yeah we were going to kansas city yeah he made it somewhere in colorado but i will say it was impressive though the way you flipped it oh my god the plane around it's still fucking landed and he landed in that lake yeah i was like captain phillips shit well no captain

another tom hanks it was a miracle still captain phillips was a miracle a miracle on the on lake murray i'm drunk right now Dude, yeah, but we were gone the last eight, nine days. Long, long, long days of filming on set. Very excited for something that we were lucky enough to be a part of. Can't say too much right now, but you'll see soon enough. But I'm sore.

You're bruised. It's our first project on an X-rated website. I said, well, I'm not going to say too much. Also, there's no technical ratings because the NPAA doesn't. I just think that's shorthand for people. Sure, but I just don't want people to think it's actually a rated thing. No, it's not rated by like MPA or anything. Sorry, it's MPA now.

I forgot they got rid of the second A. For what we're doing, it's the MPA-ness. Right. Again, too much. You're saying too much. Luke, be careful with, we signed NDAs. Yeah. But we're back.

I'm leaving like literally in five days again. Yeah, it's July. July here at Super Mega. Actually, annually, July at Super Mega has always been the month where we're kind of in and out because that's when you always go home to take your annual family like trip or for family birthdays. And then usually I also will go, oh, you know, it's been six, seven months. I should go somewhere. I should go see my parents or, you know, this time I'm going to Iceland, going to climb some mountains. Okay.

I'm going to say Antarctica because that would have been a funnier bit. Iceland's just like a nice vacation spot. I mean, Iceland's pretty cool. I would love to actually go to Iceland. Tucker's probably hitchhiked around Iceland, I'm sure, at one point in his life. Tucker's probably been to Iceland, right? Yeah, he's... Where hasn't Tucker been?

He hasn't been to the Middle East? Well, we know why that is. I don't even think they'll let him in. But he hasn't been to the Middle East. Has he been to Africa? Hmm. Has he not been to Egypt? I don't think Tucker's been to Egypt.

That does seem like a Tucker play. though. Right? It's like, oh yeah, when I was in Egypt? It's like, when'd you go to Egypt? It's like, Josh to something. He was just riding a one wheel up the pyramid. Getting a sick-ass shot. I love the idea of like the pyramids being that smooth, but in real life, it's like 10 feet. 10 feet, these huge bricks. He's not a pogo stick. Yeah. Doing back flips up each fucking brick. And pogo stick on top of the one wheel, which impressive. Very impressive. There's someone out there that could easily do that, I'm sure. No, I'm actually. Think about this, though, because The one wheel accelerates when you tilt forward.

So when you land the pogo stick on it, it would do a sudden, you know? But you could, but, you know, like with anything, your body will, you'll learn how to adapt. Right. And those who train to do it will get really good at it. Why isn't, like, I want another, like, skate-type Tony Hawk game where, like, I remember Tony Hawk games that you could unlock characters where it was like a riding scooter. There was one guy in a wheelchair that you could play as. Wheelchair's sick. I want more video games to have fun like that

where like the extra characters are just like fun, goofy. Instead of Tony Hawk's pro skater. What about a wheelchair is fun and goofy? You get Stephen Hawking's pro skater and he's in a wheelchair and just doing flips and shit. Stephen Hawking? Oh, like Hawking up a blitz.

I thought you were making it like, I thought that was like agonal breathing because he's dead. My God. He's like what? Just so, just. Just in his wheelchair just dying. Dude, I forgot he died recently. I was thinking about Stephen Hawking,

I was like, oh, he died. He went to space. Yeah, he did. He went to Forever Space. Forever Space, huh? As Neil deGrasse Tyson calls it. There's space and then there's forever space. What do you mean by that, Neil?

Where you go after you die? Dude, Stephen Hawking's fucking sassy little ass when he did his little time traveler party, remember that? He goes, he goes, Well, if time travel's real, I'm going to host a time travel party, but he doesn't let anyone know until after it happened. So it was just him sitting alone at a party? Like with a fucking hat on and everything with a streamer in his mouth?

He said this. Looking depressed, like checking like the big like fucking grandfather clock. Because this is like, he's like, by my calculations. His whole life's work is just because I know that like he probably didn't actually sit there and have a party and then announce it afterwards. This was like him just being like, ooh, yeah. But if you're a time traveler, why are you going to go to Stephen Hawking's time traveler party? No, because you know what it was? At the time, we didn't know he was on Epstein's Island.

Time travelers now, like people in the future know that Stephen Hawking hung out on Epstein's Island. I want to hang out with that guy. I'm not going to hang out with him. I'm going to go fucking look at like dinosaurs or look what that whole tea party shit was about. And Steven's like, well, I guess time travelers aren't real. It's like, no, dude, they just didn't want to go fucking hang out with the dude has been hanging on Epstein's island. Yeah, I heard there's a major rager in Boston. Really?

They got a shit ton of tea there. I hear fireworks. I heard it's going crazy. What? You get there, like, ready to, like, have a fun time with the boys, like go out on the bar. It's like free tea for everyone or something,

but it was like... Would that not have been a fun time, though? I mean, yeah, throwing tea into the harbor. They're screaming. Dude, they're probably drunk off their fucking ass is just grabbing boxes going, oh! Throw in your middle finger.

Like, how punk rock was America back then? That was some punk rock shit. Dude, and let me tell you something, man. Think about how much fun. It would have been picking up one of those big, you and me, picking up one of those big crates of tea, chucking it off the ships are tall. You chucking it, you get to watch it, go, f-whom-puff. Our box, we're not looking. It's just like a fucking box of metals and gold.

They just like plundered that. No! Not expensive ore. There's like a very clear sign marking like the tea from like the valuables. It sits right to the bottom. Well, you guys are going to get that. And that's the tea, sis. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it is. Larry David has a little history show now. I know. It looks like, you know, he's commentating on stuff. I heard it wasn't very good. I haven't seen it. I just, when we were on set with people, I heard them talking about it. And they're like, oh, Larry David's new show.

Not good. Well, it seems like a one-note joke maybe type of thing. I don't know. Like, it would probably be like one of the better sketches on Saturday Night Live, like, these days type of thing. Yeah. But, like, since it's all, like, in a row. You know, probably, it probably needs something to break it up. That's why, that's why Seinfeld had the stand-up bits in his show to break it up a little.

Oh, I didn't even think about that. Hmm. They should have mixed it with, like, he should have done two shows, the history one, and then maybe I don't know, like Larry David's Claymation Hour or some shit, and then they could interspice them in each episode. Yeah. Claymation, like stop motion. Yeah, like Larry David, like made out of, like, Plato or Legos or something.

He does it all himself. Does it himself in his house. He does it with his iPhone So like the lighting is always like Between each shot he doesn't actually have like a lamp for consistent lighting He doesn't have a tripod for his iPhone So every picture is like slightly at a different angle Which is something there's something nice about you know that

The very like shotgun running gun early like Single digit age stop motion animation that you and I would do Oh man I mean I guess we were in the double digits also Because middle school and shit I had a uh My first camera was like the big old tape camera and I think you've mentioned you did the same thing but I made a show called um random bricks with a Z exclamation mark and it was a bunch of like action figures

and like Plato guys and Lego guys and I had a whole like cast of of characters loosely kind of loosely inspired by drawn together and I filled tapes up making episodes with these but this way I could do stop motion back then was literally I had the camera and I'd press record and then stop really fast so it'd be like Yeah, so you would get like Half a second of just footage And then I would move in animation It's typically done through pictures

You take a picture out of time, blah blah blah I don't do that But no, we had our video cameras to work with And I would go boop-bip move it But then when they needed to say something You know I'd be like I'd say the line and then stop it And there's nobody doing it

They'd have to be still for the line Or you'd have to like hand And I'd have to be off camera Kind of moving them I'd hold them up and Dude I remember there was I need to find I have the tape at home somewhere

But like I just remember there was one moment in one of those episodes I made that I thought was still to this day I remember it's like one of the hardest I've ever laughed and I don't even remember what it was and I wonder if I watched it now if I'd go huh it'd make Seth Green jealous with envy set green would go give me this guy's number they're making more robot chicken speak of the devil which is literally just a show of like dudes playing with dolls having a good time dude they're making like a robot chicken special one of the best intros of a show Oh so good

Like it's up there for me Not top three for me maybe But it's definitely up top ten When I was in like sixth grade Fifth or sixth grade I had to sixth or seventh grade Hey come on I actually some of you guys already might have put in the comments

Earlier I said six seven by accident On this episode And neither of us really caught it Full accident but I wasn't gonna stop and go back Dude I was at a checkout recently And my total came to six seven six seven Are you serious? Yeah.

Did you look at the cashier and went? Yeah, they didn't, they didn't respond. Some old Indian guy just like, okay. I'm just, I take, in my world, I don't, I'm making it so they didn't see me. I think it comes off as a little less embarrassing in that way. Yeah, they did glance up and take note and they did, you know, kind of, they further their brow slightly when I was doing it. But I'm just going to say they didn't see me because they didn't really give a good response. They would have responded if they did see it. So don't worry.

But I had this like obsession with robot chicken when I found out. And I was like obsessed with claymation and stop motion as a kid. I have a whole claymation YouTube channel back in the day that I actually don't think anyone's, that's one of the ones people have not found. Believe it or not, how they're going to go on a wild goose chase for trying to find it. Matt Watson's 3D stop motion animation time. Thanks man. Bleep that out, Luke. Jesus, dude. No, but it was, I made DVDs and everything and

like you went to CVS and got like the stack of CDs to burn it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was an idiot and I didn't know the difference between DVDs and CDs and I remember like saving up my allowance and I bought a fucking stack of blank CDs and I got home and I opened up I DVD on my dad's old Mac and I tried to burn it

and it was like, I was like what? So all I did was instead I just dragged the files and I put them on to a CD and I was at the DVD. It works. I think it was with Pinnacle Studio. I could make like menus for the DVDs I put stuff on. So like there's play movie and then.

Yep. Usually it was just play movie and scene selection. Dude, I DVD was such a sick program and I used to spend so much time even though I couldn't burn the DVDs at the time. I would just make all these menus and it was like inspired by how old DVDs would have the really creative interactive menus that would like be like looping videos with like like Shrek. Quotes from the movie.

He's talking at you. Yeah. Don't you want to play the movie? So I would do all that kind of stuff. And it was, I did end up making some DVDs and I wonder if they'd still, uh, they'd still work. I found them. I think the first DVD I made was like a 45 minute film. I was a young boy at the time, probably in elementary school, was about me and my cousin hunting Bigfoot.

That's awesome. And Bill Gates was in there. It was just my uncle who would film him while he was in the kitchen. like while he was like not paying attention you go back and watch it and like Bill Gates is really in it and since we wanted um Bill uh I think yeah his sister to be in it we just made it so Bill Gates had a son

who's actually his daughter but he doesn't pay attention to them enough to know the actual gender so it's just like that's my son but it's just his daughter that's far ahead of its time I know we we had some fun and we did well hey you want to know kicker and I feel like I can spoil it because there's no copy of this left in existence unfortunately. Really? We

find Bigfoot, the kicker is, we accidentally burn the forest down with Bigfoot along with it, so we have no proof. Wait, it's like, dum, dum, dum, and now there really is no proof because the DVD's gone. Yeah. It's lost media. It is. It's Ryan McGee lost media. There was only one made, and

it's gone forever unless it's... Are you certain? Imagine it's somewhere in an attic just in my dad's place. I mean, it's very possible. Yeah. Man, like, I have a bunch of old shit like that that I really want to get and it's at my dad's house I'm telling you he threw that shit away

he's going yeah you don't want you don't want any part of that shit Matthews don't be going through old memories no but so I had this bitching coin collection in high school and it's like a binder that's like this thick dude it was a heavy ass binder and you open it up and it's got all the little

sleeves I labeled all the coins with like the I put them in the like pockets with like the year and the country so cool and recently I'm like damn I should get back into coin collecting

just 30 year old things they got the Donald Trump coins coming they do that's why I was like I need the Trump coins that's what's burned but

I keep calling my dad and I'm like hey dad could you like I'll pay for it could you just ship me my coin collection why are you going through your money and he's always like

I mean I'll look for it son but I'm like I'm pretty sure it's in this closet it blah blah blah and uh last time i went home i was like he won't ship it i'm gonna try to find it and he was kind of like you know so you don't need to go up there but i could not find it anywhere do you think he pawned it i'm telling you right now knowing your dad and because not only this isn't just an inkling he's done this with your like shit before where like he's like you're like hey dad you know where's this stuff i'm like oh i threw it out no use for it i had to make room

to make an air b-and-be type rent a room it's like dad that those are like five years of my childhood drawings. Those could have gone in the attic. Eh, there's already so much stuff up there. All of my trophies from high school and ribbons. My baton swirling ribbons and my baton. My Unitar that I won baton swirling championship with. My ballet shoes.

My cup. How to wear that during ballet under the Unitar. Dude, I want that coin collection, though. Like, it was sick. He took it and sold it. Dude, I swear, he's like, because my dad's probably going to the attic and he's like, oh man, these got to be worth something. He probably went, I didn't know I had a coin collection.

That's probably what your dad thought to himself. Takes it to the pawn shop. I mean, son, I got $46 for the whole thing. That's a good, that's a steal. $46 for just like, what amounts to more in memories. I actually, I don't know how much it would be worth because I had some pretty cool stuff. I had like some, I had like some dollars from like Iraq that had like Saddam Hussein on it. I had a...

Okay. I had just a bunch of... Did you have been Latin bucks? I didn't have been Latin bucks. Okay. I mean... He wouldn't have sold that. But I didn't...

Hey, I mean, check this out, dude. Speaking of coin collecting. Did you find something cool? Yeah, I did, dude. Take a look at these. Hold on. It's just $2 bills. You ever seen one of these?

Here you go, Ryan. Try those on for size. Soviet rubles. Rubles? Rubles from the Soviet Union. Can you spend these here? No, you can't. What if you found like a Russian place?

Well, I mean, they're from the Soviet Union, so they're probably not even legal currency anymore. These are fucking cool. Give them a sniff. They smell like a storage box. They smell awful. There's like one of those rubles smells like absolute shit. You know what I say? How dirty money is.

One last thing before we go to commercial break? You ever see one of these? Yeah, go about you? Okay. Check that out. See? I told you I was online about this coin. selecting bullshit?

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Spider-Man, brand-new day in theaters Thursday. Welcome back, ladies and gentle bitches. Welcome back to the Super Mega Podcast Where we talk about the shit that other people don't talk about Like, what's up with Israel these days? Tel Aviv be like, Wampwam, wah, bhran. Okay, we're done with that segment.

We're trying our hand at, you know, topical commentary. That was our first step or a little foray, you know, a little... I feel like, you know, some people might say, oh well you know there's room for improvement there's always room for improvement i think that that was pretty yeah i feel actually right after ad reads yeah yeah like you guys can't no we're pulling our ads on this episode what you said about israel we didn't say anything about israel we made sound effects about israel what you thought of those sound effects that says a lot about your predisposition and your pre like your presumptions of israel more than anything about

us like that it says a lot more about you for for even your mind going there than it was just fun topical commentary like you would see on like e-n-n-nitcher like e-nitcher you would see on like e-nitcher news with Joan Rivers or a very topical of this hell or the soup with Joel macaille oh yeah dude Joel mcale fucking the dad and spy kids four fuck the dad and spy kids four no he was the dad and spy kids for had didn't even say sex I didn't say fuck you said fucking I said he was he was you said the fucking dad he said Joel mcale I didn't even dude like when I did to be careful because like When I've ever out family and stuff, oh, my God. I slip those little, like, connectors instead of, uh, you know, like, fucking, um, I'll go fucking, uh, you know, I'll, I'll just add that in there.

It's actually, you gotta be careful, dude, because sometimes I, I don't even notice it. No, I, I am so, uh, he was the, he was fucking, he was fucking, he was fucking the dad. You said he was fucking the dad and Spy Kids Four. He was fucking, the, I mean, you're like, I didn't even say sex. What are you? And I'm like, you said, you said, fuck it. No, because when I'm around, my mom, you know, she swears like a sailor. She does a lot of things like a sailor.

Yeah. You know, sucks like a sailor. She does. She does. And shucks like a sailor. Oh, absolutely. Give her a corn cop. She's going to do one of two things.

Hopefully they're shucking, but it's, uh. Three things. Oh, yeah. Sucking fucking and shucking. Two holes. Country girls make do. But, uh, I say, I say a little swear words. It's disgusting

That's so gross Coliente Sorry Anne I love you Make a jokes about me putting corn up my pussy Do you still listen in Ann? There's no way Prove it mom, text me

Right now say I listen to the new episode I know Cecile still listens Yeah she does Cecil will always listen She will always be listening When we have two listeners left One will be Luke One will be Cecile

Well, you can't count because my mom slows it down, watches that 0.5 speed to make it last longer. Luke watches at a double speed to make it go by faster. So maybe it equates to just one view. You're right. Fuck. 1.5 views. I can't do the math, but I'm sure that I'm sure there's some math.

Luke's a numbers guy. Luke can figure it out. Yeah, Luke, what's 6 plus 32? Without using a calculator. Yeah, yeah. times 11. What is it? Put whatever you think it.

But actually, divided by Y equals 163. There it is. Put it all there, Luke. Show your work. You can do it on paper and scan it, take a picture, whatever. I'm actually curious if you can do that

without a calculator. And the only way you can get by doing that is if you answer this riddle. 2 plus 2 equals X. Then what does the, what does the X stand for? Here's Luke's answer. Don't worry.

We're not going to hit you with these riddles three. Just one, just one riddle. Just one riddle. But back to the, back to the swears, man. I don't even clock it. It just, they just slip out. It really is like it becomes a connecting thing. Like, um, or.

And I actually wonder, it makes us look stupid. My dad always says, son, he listened to the podcast. And he goes, son, he's always said this since we started making videos. He goes, all I'm going to say is, It takes a lot more intelligence to be comical or witty without vulgarity. Did you tell him those stupid little pauses he added in there would have been better with the vulgarities? Son?

Those stupid little fucking comments. He would have gone a lot of lot smoother in there. Fucking son, I'll fucking tell you what. It takes a lot of more fucking intelligence to be goddamn funny if he's listening going, see, that's what I'm talking about. That's exactly what I'm talking about. But if we tried to stop professors here, doctors, lawyer, all that. That's the thing.

It's like, I'm not, I'm not trying to write a Bill and I, the science guy video. I'm, I'm here on a podcast with my best buddy talking about fucking sucking and in Israel. So it's like, those are not all related. Those are all. They can be. Yeah. I'm sure right this very second, there's some fucking sucking going on in Israel.

Clavicular's there. Oh, then definitely. Especially if he's there with Peter Thiel. Mm-hmm. They're on their little honeymoon, the West Bank. You know, clavicular. Yeah. But basically, I wonder if we actually, we should do it.

We should do it a week-long challenge where we do not. Did you hear that screaming? I did hear that. It was like, oh. Y'all, y'all can't hear it just because. Through the walls. It's through the walls, but it just heard like, oh! It sounded like someone's being chased and they're like putting a chair in between them,

figuring out which way they're going to go first. I like kind of just like, I heard it, but I kind of just like, I was like, Ryan probably didn't hear that. I'm not going to say anything. There's no banging you. anything so I'm guessing it's not really an emergency. Maybe someone's just screaming and hollering for some fun. Just, yeah, I mean, we all do it.

The spirits in the vent, in the pipes. But maybe it's good. What I was about to say is, what if you and I did a week-long challenge, we don't say any swear words. But then maybe that spirit was like, from the future knows that if we do that, it's the butterfly effect. We're going to both die. Well, our ad revenue would probably be better if we curse less.

We should try to not swear for a whole week. It actually probably really hard just because my brain, it's... Especially if we're playing a video game on stream, and we get pissed on. We get P-Oed, pissed, the F-off. See, I didn't... Oh, we both swore. Frick! He said pissed.

Does Frick count? No. So we can say words in replacement, kind of like how the one dude, I forget what the character's name, but Joe Pesci's character in Home Alone, whenever he has to curse. He's like, fuck a fucking make it. You slow it down, I'm sure you can find something in there. Maybe he said something. Fucking come. Whoa!

Joe! Joe! Come on. This is, you know, I'm Christopher Columbus. I don't know what kind of movies you think I'm making here, but this is a, you know, this is a very feel-good family movie. You can't be saying that stuff, okay, buddy? I'm Joe Pesci.

I know. Say what the fuck I want. You can. I mean, but we got to get the, just one take for me, and the rest, you can just say whatever you want. We just need one take for the editor so that he just ends up ADRing everything himself, just Columbus just. He slips on the floor and then there's this shitty Italian, like fake Italian accent. Just like, oh crap.

Different microphone. I slipped all over this hot sauce. Capish. Oh, man. I can't believe Joe Pesci's still alive. He is, isn't he? Dude, all those, there's got to be something about the Italians because all those old Italian actors like that play the mob dudes,

Pacino, Peshi, Stallone. I always think it's Stallone too before you said that. It's weird you said that. There's a Rocky movie coming out called I Am Rocky Balboa or I Want to Be Rocky or something like that where it's about the making of Rocky. Oh. Like the movie? Yeah. Because he wasn't an actor or anything.

He was like, I want to make this movie and I want a star in it. Well, he was. No, we got to get some actual. actors and stuff. I was like, no. I could, he's like, they're trying to like,

buy the script off of them because they want the movie, but they're coming out of a standstill because he's like, but I want to be in it. They're like, fuck. All right. So they kind of set them up to fail

where it's like, okay, if you go like one day behind schedule, it's ours type of shit. Damn. Well, I mean, he already, he had some experience on camera at that point.

Yeah, he did. Yeah. With Jackie Chan. Really? I mean, they both did separate porn. I think Jackie Chan did porn

early on. or some like... Really? Maybe not like... Because there's a difference between like... Jockey Chan? porn porn.

I think Salone did porn porn porn porn. And then there's like erotic movies where it's like, you know, they don't show anything, but it's still like... They might show like breasts or something, but it's still very like sensual. There's a scene where Jackie Chan's touching himself, but you only, you know, it's in like a candlelit room. So you only see the shadow on the wall really big. So you can see what's going on, but you're like, well, I don't really see it. You just both hands.

It's obviously like a... prosthetic. Start sucking himself off. Basically climbing up that thing. Yeah, Stallone did straight up like, I'm gonna fuck you. I'm then just flipping around. I mean, a lot of people in there, I mean, Cameron Diaz did like, did like topless music video shoots or model shoots and shit back in the day. A lot of celebrities, male and female, took one for the team. I don't even know who the team was.

Paycheck? Yeah Just to get started And you know Entertainment is like I gotta roll Wait What?

I'm sucking a dude's cock Oh Gotta make a living Somehow Dude Some did the reverse Where they were like In movies

And then they're like Yeah I'll do porn Like the Like the guy from Saved by the Bell Oh That too I was gonna say

A Christmas story Oh yeah Wait Not the main guy Yeah No Because he's still in stuff I think Flick

from Bugs Life? He went on and did like gay porn later on. No wait, who's Flick? Which one's Flick? Christmas story. Yeah, which one's... The Ginger Kid. Oh, okay.

I think. One of those guys went on to go do some porn. One of those fucking... They went and... Army Hammer. Did he do porn? No. Oh.

I mean... He could. See, it seems believable enough. Look at my cock. And now suck it. With like the CGMs. It's like the Winklevoss twins. Don't go.

eating my cock. I couldn't if I try. It's like both him. He's talking up and also down to himself. I couldn't if I tried. Don't go suck in my, don't go suck in my cock. I mean,

eating my cock. We're twins, but you could, you could suck this cock. All I'm saying is if I ate your cock, technically we're twins, our penis still, you know,

there's still a penis in existence. Oh, you mean like, eat it, eat it. Mm-hmm. Because he's a cannibal. that's

you know there's a there's that famous case that guy went on a forum it was like hey I really want to I want to

have my penis eaten was that what it was not his penis he wants to eat my own penis he's like I want to be eaten and this other guy was like I'll eat you

they met up cut off his penis they cooked it and shared it they had a great oh this is fan oh my god oh

Oh my goodness More champagne Yeah God the Oh I couldn't have another bite I'm stuffed All right well let's Should we should we get on

With the killing part now He just like slit his throat No I don't know how I did it He like shoot him in the head Like what the fuck He was like yeah let's go ahead and do it All right No last thoughts

Mom And we already ate my cock Let's go for him Consensual eating Cannibalism He went to the guy that That did it went to prison Oh yeah, it's fucked up still

You know Can't go doing that I know Even if it is your last wish and testament On this earth Come on, just Let's eat my cock And then just kill me

Come up, please, please come on Come on I mean, what's the worst that can happen Just say that I wanted it To be gonna happen Wait, I won't get in trouble No If I, like it's, I have free

Don't we have free will? God gave us free will, huh? So it's not like murder But picture this With a non-offensive Chinese accent because wasn't the dude Chinese? No, it's German. Never mind.

But now that I'm imagining. Who am I thinking of? There's some Chinese serial killer cannibal, right? There's a more recent one from Vietnam. Oh. That happened recently. But, uh, no, I'm thinking of like the dude that ended up like going to France and like essentially being free or some shit.

Oh, there's a Japanese dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Japanese. That killed and ate someone in France or something. But then because of like legal loopholes, he's like free. He's to walk around. Vice did an interview with him. I want. Before I die.

I want to eat someone again. No, yeah, and he wrote a book about it and everything. And he, like, he's very open about it. And he's just fully free. Pretty crazy. Crazy stuff. That is a, I'm sure, like, some kind of sexual psychologist or whatever could explain it. But, like, you know, I get, you know, people have fetishes and stuff.

But, like, like, yeah, will you kill me and eat me? I don't understand that. That is, like, one of the hardest ones for me to understand. I mean, you know, I guess different strokes for different folks. That's true. That's true. Now I can't stop imagining the whole situation

when they're eating the penis, but it's an offensive Chinese accent. From a German guy. Yeah. I thought the guy was Chinese. That's my bad. And the other guy's like... And I think it says more about me

and I need to go home and think about it more that I would just... I was thinking a Chinese man was doing that. And the other guys... Well, who was the other guy Chinese? Neither one. But the German guy... Are you sure about this?

Yeah. the German guy's doing the offensive Chinese accent and the other guy like puts his fork down he's like this is really here that come on come on I'm trying to enjoy a nice meal can we not do we have to bring the racial stuff into it it's a good it's a good accent okay I'll give you that but come on

what's the point what's the point you're just hurting like it's like I don't find it funny you find it like the only one person is really getting a positive interaction out of it and it's you and you're the one creating it for yourself you know I'm just sitting here and I have to like pretend I have to give you you know like a little smirk to make sure that it plays along But I'm sitting here trying to enjoy this dick and balls I'm trying to enjoy your cock and balls and

And here you are just doing this offensive Chinese which is amazing by the way It's great right but it's getting cold Yeah, just like just one little bite You think they like laid out like the fucking like nice table cloth and they they put the they set the table Oh I'm sure it was some psychotic Hannibal Lecter bullshit there's a fireplace running with like hyena's head mounted on the wall. You know, like super villain shit. Just weird, like, odd

psychopath shit. More shaft, darling? Like, there's the hyena with the giraffe, like, cock on one side and the elephant cock on the other. When these guys go big game hunting, they always want the tusks or the fucking head, you know. I feel like a lot

of these guys, the more primal example would be like, yeah, I got the elephant's cock mounted. The asshole of a hyena? It's just all the assholes of the animals. Dude, baboons. That would be. That one makes sense. If you're going out baboon hunting, it's like, yeah, look at that. Look at that little rainbow fucker. It's just his ass. It's like really like

perked up. I mean, dude, you see him at the zoo. Their asses, they're always popping that shit. It's never just normal. Like, they're like arching their back, tail up, fucking popping that shiny. Their assholes breathing and shit. Yeah, it's like, come on guys. It's like, I made a complaint to the zoo last time I went.

Its asshole is making faces at me. It winked to me. They put them down. They put the baboons down for that. Good. I mean, it's manners. Manners makeeth man or monkey. Last time I was at the South Carolina Zoo,

they had a brand new little baby baboon that had just been born. A brand new, brand new baby baboon. Brand new baby baboon. Brand new beautiful baby baboon. They had just birthed a brand new baby, beautiful. They had just birthed the brand new beautiful baby baboon.

Maybe beautiful comes. They have just birthed a beautiful, brand new baby baboon. baboon. And then is there a way to add one more B at the end of that? Something with an L.Y. Like it's describing. Yeah.

Boisterously. Boisterously. Okay. And that's the end. So gave birth to a beautiful baby babboot. Birth the brand new. Who, birth to brand new, beautiful baby baboon boisterously. And I think it was a babboon.

So baby boy baboon boisterously Boisterously Perfect Look at that Who says the juices aren't flowing still But yeah dude that little That little baby baboon He was up to no good

I was watching He was just running around Slaping the older adults And they're like It's got to be so much fun Dude I wish we had a little baby baboon in here Just to hang out with us The chief mandrel rips you in half

Or fucking with them If we just had If we just had the baby in here T trails flying Like monkeys are mean Dude They're like fight off each other's dicks if they catch wind of you telling jokes behind their back.

I brought this up on a semi-recent episode, but I suggest everyone go look up the the Gombay Chimp Wars on Wikipedia. Brutal shit. It was in the 70s, and it was like about some clans of chimps that got into like a four-year dispute over some territory. And the way that they would like, they'd like hide in the woods and like there'd be like an older chimp eating some leaves by himself and they would like surround him and then brutally attack him and like rip his cock and balls off.

It's, they're, they're really fucking brutal. It could be a really cool manga series. Oh, absolutely. You know? Or, uh, you know, they'd probably nowadays, they'd probably try to make some super high quality CG movie and it would suck ass. Planet of the Gaping Apes more like. Planet of the Gapes.

It's about bad boons. I bet there's a porn parody called Planet of the Gapes. It's just big, empty black hole of an asshole that's been fucking dilated to oblivion. Well, we're going to go to ad reads. And when we're back, I'll let you know if there's planning of the gapes. And the first frame you'll see will be one of our gaping assholes. Or will it? Stay tuned to find out.

Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, Peace contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge.

BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Now streaming on Disney Plus, the Hulu original series Furious follows FBI agent Alice Black, played by Emmy Rossum, on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer. Both walk their own paths toward justice, and as their lives start to intertwine, the line between, right and wrong begins to blur. New episodes week over week. Watch the Hulu original series Furious. Now streaming only on Hulu on Disney Plus. Hey, I'm Ike Barrenholz.

On my new show, Funny You Ask, trivia starts the conversation, and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn.

One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind-the-scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear confidence, misplace confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barrenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barrenholz on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Guess who's back? Back again. Guess who's beneath the planet of the Gapes? Yeah. Is that a little ball sack? It's a ball sack. And the butthole is censored by the... I don't even know.

Where's the penis, though? I think... Is this like AI? No, no, no. The rocket is just censoring the... I think the penis might be soft or it's hanging down and the rocket is... Or it's a small penis.

What's that fatty mass? Like, what's this? That's the belly. Do you see the view? Did you just save that by accident? No. You see where it's, look. Send to mom.

The pictures from this angle. Okay, okay, okay. And it's the, that you see the belly and then you see the balls. Got it, got it. It's a confusing angle for me. Yeah, I don't see that angle too much. I don't know. But it's, but the planet of the Gapes.

Yeah. It's real. Because, you know, earlier we were talking about, yeah, Planet of the Apes, but with gaping assholes. Yeah, it's a wonderful podcast we have here today. Do you, look what website this is on. Amazon.com. Why is, guys, hold on, go to Amazon.com.

Does it show the picture on on Amazon.com? It's on Amazon music. Beneath the Planet of the Gapes. Is it a music video? 39 songs, one hour and 31 minutes. It's a playlist? What the fuck is this, dude? It's a bunch of like, look at the names of these songs, man.

On pretending to, okay, uh, what? Christian Bale? There's one with Christian Bale in it. It's just called Christian Bail remix. Play the Christian Bail remix. You stupid, you're fucking with me! Yeah, that's, uh, it would be great if his remix was, or the remix included his freak out on set of Terminator salvation.

I mean, maybe it, there's one song that is unavailable called Neil deGrasse Tyson and the, and I can't read the rest. The Pussy Cat dolls. I bet that that album probably goes hard though. Beneath the Planet of the Gapes. Neil deGrasse Tyson and the pussycat dolls. Oh, they're the pussycat dolls. I love that.

That's not real. Anyways. He, uh, Bill Maher. He's such a, dude, Neil deGrasse Tyson and Bill Maher in one room. Has that happened? I'm sure. That'd be a meeting of intellectual minds. That's just beyond anything I could even comprehend.

Well, that's because Bill Mark can go, I don't believe in a God, so I'm smarter than people. Anyways, my life is miserable, and I hate my real life, and the only happiness I get is by being shmarmie on a television show that has my name on it. And when I leave, I'm a very sad old man who has no loved ones to cling to. It's a very unfortunate position to be, and I'd imagine.

being at the top of your game. Bill Maher, your name is in the lights and stars. It's like in a... Hollywood Walk of Fame level. I imagined, you know, in Boogie Nights

when he comes up with the name Dirk, Diggler, and it like shows the name with like made out of like neon lights. It's like, Bill Maher. Dude, when's he getting a star

on the Hollywood Star Walk? I don't know. Might be above him. He might actually just want to star himself. Yeah. We already got it. Neil, can you get me one of those? Can you, Neil, can you get me a star in real life?

No. That's the, those are scams, Bill. Huh. Oh, drink? He did, he's on his podcast. You want a cigar? He's just like, I saw, I watched the first, like, five minutes of the one he did with Kevin Spacey.

And Kevin Spacey's, like, just sitting there awkwardly by himself. Hopper from Bugs Life, dude? Yeah, Hopper from Bug's Life. And Bill Maher, like, stumbles out from the back. And he's like, there's Kevin Spacey really here? And he sits down and, like, pours himself. a drink and lights a cigar and he's like I'm

Kevin's space there's smoke there's fire Kevin and he's like oh well yeah uh yeah I guess it's just it's so uncomfortable just two great minds in one room dude when I went and saw a live

taping of real time with Bill Mar that's right it that was one of the most joyous nights in my life it was great dude it was really great stuff I got to sit right behind

the teleprompter booth where the guy was on the computer controlling things so I couldn't even see Bill Marr. It's literally like it blocks part of that doesn't sound like it was good. Well, just being in the same room as Bill Mar though, it was electric. His presence. Yeah, I could feel it. It was a present. His presence washed over you like a thousand men with giant fans making a tidal wave in the ocean on their surfboards.

Neodoragrass Tyson goes, that's impossible. That's going to be the, new military tactic. Just people like windboarding. They're not going to block the straight-of-horam moves too much longer. It's massive tidal wind barreling down the straight-of-hormoos. Decimates Iran. They're wearing like very skippy, like, you know, sport.

The sailor outfits with like the little hats. Like bicycle mat, those long bicycle helmets. Fuck, dude. But Bill Maher, man. I remember my favorite part of that whole experience was the guy sitting behind me was this like 50-year-old dude dressed like a teenager with all these... Did he love the shit out of it? Dude, he was chiming in every chance.

Like Bill Maher would say something about like, I don't know, he'd say one of his like smarmy comments. I mean, the guy behind me would be like, damn straight. It's the whole time. He's just like, and he go, genius. Senator. Yeah. Well, he showed that in his highlight real clip at the beginning.

Showed the inward clip. I was like, wow, he put that in the, of like the last 30 years of Bill Maher, of all the things for the highlight reel to get the crowd pumped before he came on stage. I just love like with the like, you know, if you want to call it freedom speech or whatever. I love how people's like first foray into being like protected speech, okay. And more. Just like, and then people just have to sit around and go. And then people have to sit around and go, okay, yeah, you're protected.

Okay, yeah. I mean. I mean, that's a thing. You can say. Yeah. Like you're not going to fucking get arrested for it. But like, feel it's just like,

well, Jesus. Okay. Like, I don't know. What other reaction? Like, I just,

we can't be persecuted. If we want to, if we just happen to want to say the N word on purpose, on, or on accident. Hey, if they really want to test the, but especially on purpose.

If they want to test the free speech thing, there's plenty of things they could say that could really test that theory about the president or about. And it has been tested. and the president has gone after those people, and those have been moments that are very clearly defining moments that are attacking free speech. Oh, yeah, because it's not about free speech. It's about their right to say the N-word and call black people the N-word.

Yeah. Which is a hill to die on for sure. It's in the Constitution, Ryan. If they, you know, imagine like, you know, you have one life to live and that's the hill you're dying on. You know, Chud, the logic's dying on that hill right now. He's in court. Well, he's in jail. He's in jail.

He's in court every now. then. Yes. Beautiful mustache and beautiful head of hair. God, what a Chad. What a fucking, what a Chad. I'm sure it was very much worth it, you know. Well, he's fighting for free speech.

It's like, no, he's fighting for his right to get in an altercation with someone after instigating a conflict and then shooting both the person and himself. So that's why he's in jail. Oh, man. It's not for saying the N word. It's comical to me. It's like just the little, the minor detail of like, like, Oh, he also, he shot himself, too, by accident.

Which is, like, I feel like kind of very difficult to do. Because, like, a gun, when you shoot it, usually you're pointing the gun, the complete opposite direction from yourself. Hey, you know, the best time to shoot a gun is in the middle of a struggle. When you're not sure where it's facing, if it's like spinning a wheel. Like a big prize wheel. Oh, damn it, my right arm. Yeah. Oh, man.

It's like the smallest one on there. Damn. I was hoping for like the fucking temple of my opponent. Oh, well. Well, let me spin it one more time. Stomach, all right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, here we go.

Yeah. And he spins it like three more times and it's just like side of courthouse building. I mean, one of my not favorite bits of the channel entirety, but one of my favorite bits in the peanut video we did is just the burnt peanut looking into the barrel of a gun and accidentally shooting it as he's inspecting it. And then everyone else, like, due to the loud bang, starts shooting. They start shooting each other, thinking they're like the lone hero. Just visually I picture that. Like, of course, I'm not picturing like the brain. Like, I'm picturing in like a very cartoon, like, looney tune scenario.

We're like, it's the chain reaction. It's a bunch of people like that are like so trigger happy, just waiting just for that moment to be the good guy with the gun. Dude, you know, when, when I was doing the audio on that part, I was trying to find a clip of, the burnt peanut to use as like audio. Dude, I watched like two full burn peanut streams. You found the perfect one. You had other options, but this was definitely the best one. He was like, you said, you said it's out of ammunition? And then I, that gets cut off by the, there were like eight options, but yeah, I watched a lot of a peanut stream for, for that. Oh yeah, with the montage of him dancing and stuff. The dancing was dope. Dude, I was, you and I both were just watching the burnt peanut for

like a solid like month straight of like finding clips and and just uh moments and also really diving into the peanut character yeah it's i wanted to i wanted to i really wanted to crack into that shell and see what's underneath i wanted to understand the mind of the burnt the they the chaotic the chaotic and brilliant they the chaotic racially motivated and sometimes brilliant Character that is the burnt peanut. I actually haven't seen the... Times. It's on the cover of Time magazine.

Person of the year. Peanut of the year. Is this fit? Dude, I got so infuriated. I know. I was rage-baiting myself here, but it's like watching like all those streams and realizing like how much money this guy's making.

And then, dude, half of every stream, it's just the game. And he's like this. With his mouth hanging. open, just saying nothing. I will say it gives them a bit of it because like, you know, when we had, when we were streaming years ago, like for the SMP,

there'd be moments where I'm like not paying attention and I'm just, and I'd look at like my webcam and I'm just like staring. I'm like, you know, maybe it's good to just have a little peanut character to have the embarrassed because like if it's just you doing that, it's very much like a caveman like, dude, sometimes that would happen and I'd

and I would have forgotten to change to the gameplay so it would just be full screen of me like playing a game just Just silently, just Just staring, just clicking. Dude, it would be like five, ten minutes. I'd look back and be like, oh, fuck. Shit.

That's really funny. That's really good. Oh. Dude, I'm sore as fuck right now. Same here. I got a good bit of bruises from the shoot. You're covered in bruises. Here's a picture.

I took a picture of all the bruises. because I've never had, you know, it's been a while since I've had, ever since the paintball video. Paintball video, yeah. And some of those look like the paintball video. I know. You got one of your leg. There's one that I don't have the picture of that I'll just show y'all here right now. Yeah, y'all see that?

Look at that. That looks like a paintball hit right here. It looks like you got shot with a paintball. It looks like there's a center mass, something when pop, right? That definitely is the type of bruise that you got popped by something. But like, what? I had no clue. You got one on that side of your leg, too.

Yeah, right here. I'm trying to think, like. Mostly here. Yeah. Here's what the picture is. You can't tell because it's just a large skin mass of just... Well, you were... You know, I don't have a shape to my body.

It's an oval. You were laying down on the makeup table and you had your arms up. And I was like, dude, what happened? And you're like, what do you mean? Look at this. I took a picture and it's just green. Green and purple. It looks beautiful, though.

I'm excited to see your penis. Gotcha. You thought I was going to say the footage? You're not excited to see my penis? I... No, I get... You're trying to get me because you're like,

oh, I was gonna... You thought I was gonna say something else, but I said your penis. But then that's also implying that you don't, you're not excited to see my penis. I've just seen it, you know, so much that it's like lost

a little bit of, uh... Yeah, I mean, I, of course appreciate every time I get to see, um, my brother's penis. Not, not my, you're not my brother. Like, we're not blood brother. So I'm not like saying,

I love to see my brother's penis, but I'm just saying, like, my brother and, in art you know arms art you know brother and art yeah exactly it's kind of like I think Drake or Josh

saw each other's penis definitely oh definitely first of no way they went through that shooting that whole show and didn't see each other's rods once see those are the real questions that people need to ask I was always like

when I was the funniest moment on set why isn't it on the today show with Drake and Josh did you guys like ever see each other's penises while you were filming that as kids I need fucking 60 minutes Diane Sawyer Asking like So did you ever see

Josh's penis on set? Who's pranking me? Is it live? This isn't taping. His agent's like, don't answer that. Just in his ear. Just any of the just, we're done, we're done. Thank you.

We're done. Dude, it's getting so old. How many times fucking the clavicular does that shit in an interview. No, if you're not, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, we're done here, we're done. I think he just, like, I think he just has...

He needs to get six flagged. See you. But there is a direct correlation between wealth and intelligence, so... You guys can pat yourself on the back. Good job. Very good job. And now we can finally get into the real humor that the real fans will be. good. Like, yes, yes!