supermegashow - The 3 Scariest Things In The World | supermegashow - 086

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

Matt and Ryan break down the 3 scariest things in the world, and you'll never guess who's boiling Ryan's dad. Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

That's annoying. What? You're a muffler. You don't hear it? Oh, I don't even notice it. I usually drown it out with the radio. How's this? Oh, yeah.

Way better. Save on insurance by switching to Bel Air Direct and use the money to fix your car. Bell Air Direct, insurance, simplified. Conditions apply. Now streaming on Paramount Plus. It's the epic return of Mayor of Kingstown. Warden?

You know who I am. Starring Academy Award nominee, Jeremy Runner. I have a sway in these walls. Emmy Award winner Edie Falco. You're an ex-con who ran this place for years. And now, now you can't do that. And BAFTA award winner Lenny James. You're about to have a plague of outsiders descend on your town.

Let me tell you this. It's got to be consequences. Mayor of Kingstown, new season now streaming on Paramount Plus. You know what's better than the one big thing? Two big things. Exactly. The new iPhone 17 Pro on TELUS's five-year rate plan price lock. Yep, it's the most powerful iPhone ever.

Plus, more peace of mind with your bill over five years. This is big. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro at tellus.com slash iPhone 17 Pro on select plans. Conditions and exclusions apply. Boo! What's up, ladies and gentlemen? Welcome to Spooky Mega Show.

It's Halloween season, which means that Ryan and I are doing matching costumes as a fun little silly episode. So can you guess who we are? Well, Ryan's not here at the moment. he's about to he's almost he's almost here for the podcast he's just getting a drink or something so oh speak of the we don't have any more milk where's ernie I uh I am I am Ernie something I thought you were doing George Lopez and Ernie classic like the classic duo no when I said

when I said when I said you're going to be Ernie I thought that that was pretty apparent what that meant Bert and Ernie That's the first Like when I say when I say Ernie for couples I mean a best friend's matching costume It's pretty obvious

That's Bert and Ernie Why would you why would the supporting Character? Did you say couples costume? No I said best like Why would Ernie from the supporting actor From the George Lopez show Be the first thing comes to your mind Because it's a classic comedic duo

Like like like Like the Three Stoges Well I Now I feel like an idiot. No, I think... This took four hours, so... Well, this, this took a while for me to get on. I'm not changing out of it, you know?

Well, I'm not changing either. So I guess we'll be Bert and... What's the rubber ducky for? Because Bert didn't have, didn't like the rubber ducky. That was the other one. You sure? It wasn't Bert with the rubber ducky? Yeah, it was the orange one.

Ernie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. that one well I may you can have it if you want sure um happy Halloween everyone we hope everyone's wearing their costumes too put at least some thought into it you know at least some thought went into the outfit is all I'm saying is you know you said Ernie and I did dress up

you know I didn't just are you doing this on purpose at this point what are you talking about Boo! Happy Han hallow... It's Halloween. Okay. Hanukkah is... They both dress up, right? They do.

Yeah, yeah. They both put on the, you know, different cloaks and hats and stuff for both. But Hanukkah is month after next. Okay. Unfortunately, I wish every day was Hanukkah. You know? Dres enough like that for Hanukkah. Yeah, I mean, honestly.

Did you catch you in the synagogue wearing that? Yeah, they did catch my white ass posted up in the synagogue dress like this. Yerushulam, mellow Hainu, but I forgot what the prayer is. You and I fucking killed it, though. We did it with the, was that the speed run? It was the Hanukkah speed run that you and I, we read that Torah like no other. And then we got to give another round of applause, make sure you throw it in Luke to Rocco, who was narrowed. for that project.

Yeah. You know, it's voice acting, which people don't, you know, tend to think that it's just, eh, it's a real,

it's a real, it's a real thing. No, it's, it's a real thing. I wouldn't call it a career, but it's definitely a real thing. And,

I really like how badly Rocco butchered a lot of the, Jewish words in that. Like, what does he said? Minishowitz. And, but he says it was such a confidence.

They're sipping the Minishowitz. But it's the confidence that sells it. People were pissed about the pronunciation of the words. And I said, you know what? I don't effing care. I think he did a fantastic job. Huh? What'd you say?

Can we go to an ad break? Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah, you thought we forgot about the jump scares. Yep. It's the Halloween episode. Yep. There's going to be all sorts of jump scares.

You guys are probably like, what makes this episode any different from a regular Super Mega Show episode. Well, we're dressed as Bert and Ernie. We are dressed as Bert and Ernie. And if you look at the set, you'll see the set is dressed as well. You know, the set is a character and of itself, right? Yeah, we, you know, there's something that could be set about, you know, the lighting could have changed, maybe get some purple and orange and maybe darker. Tucker set this set up.

You and I actually did spend about 30 minutes fiddling with the lights trying to figure out red, green, green. And it looked like shit. It's because we have so much competing light from the fill and all that. I don't know if we set the lights back quite the same, but it might be, I don't know. I think it looks pretty good. I'm looking at it. I think it looks great. We look very handsome in our costumes.

You look great in your costume, man. You look fantastic in your costume. You put a lot of work, effort, and definitely a lot of work into it. Thank you. As I said, it took four hours. Yeah. Four hours? Yeah.

I know. That's pretty quick, right, for a costume like this? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this Halloween episode is special because we're going to be talking about, guys, get ready for this, the three scariest things in the world. There's three segments of the podcast, each segment. We're going to be talking about another one of the scariest things going in order from least scary to most scary. But that doesn't mean that the least scary is not scary.

I mean, you have to remember this is a list of the top three scariest things in the world. They're all so scary. So they're all already so scary, but we thought because humans like it that way, we'll number it in a ranking list. Yeah. That'll take about an hour to get through because I'm sure each one will lead to lots of discussion. Lots of silly banter between friends. So without further ado, I think we should probably introduce number three. What do you say?

Do you want to introduce it or do you want me to introduce it? Okay. And it's... We had an actual drum roll in. So it's a... That would be sick. And it's... It's Bigfoot.

Bigfoot. Bigfoot is the number three on the scariest things of all time to ever exist during the creation, before the creation, and probably after the creation of human civilization. Absolutely. I mean humans will be long gone, but that doesn't mean Bigfoot will be. He'll probably be the cause. We could nuke ourselves into oblivion, and Bigfoot, with how much Bigfoot stays off the grid, Bigfoot could easily survive, you know, way past humans.

I mean, I couldn't think of anything more scary than going on a camping retreat when I was young with Venture Scouts, with my uncle, whoever, my youth pastor, whoever wanted to go camping that weekend and hearing some guttural sounds, probably some cougar or something, but in my head, in my kid's head, that could have definitely been a Bigfoot. oh dude there was real fear and terror as a kid as much there is today as an adult still but like definitely as a kid I there was legitimate like do you remember being a kid and actually getting scared just thinking about something yeah like all you did was think about vampires I still get scared thinking about things yeah but commitment doesn't not like I'm talking about like monsters and stuff okay yeah well that yeah I guess commitment is a different thing but I think that uh I do remember being a kid and my dad would take me camping and there is that like primal guttural fear deep within you when it's nighttime in the woods and it's dark all around you and you and the thought of a bigfoot pops into my head and I'm like it could be just watching us like from the from the edge of the woods yeah from like sleeping in my bed

at night you know to being on a roller coaster at the south carolina state fair I feel like bigfoot could be anywhere kind of like it the clown like if I went to the mirror room at the south Carolina state fair he might be waving in one of them and then I move then he's gone Then I'm like, no, I swear I just saw a Bigfoot. Or the time, remember when Bigfoot was on the wing of the airplane? You never saw him. I kept trying to get your attention and point to him out in the wing of the airplane. But you never saw him.

But you remember that. No, I mean, I kept looking. It wasn't for a lack of looking. Every time you made me look out the airplane window. He was just freaking out, dude, and they had to restrain you. He was just, I don't know what it was, but you have to believe me. There was a Bigfoot on the plane, on the plane wing. Yeah.

No, but do you remember, you remember they had to land the plane early because they had to restrain you and you had to go to the psychiatric ward that was in the Boston airport? It's a sacrifice. I was willing, look, if I had to, if I had to be on a no-fly list just to keep everyone else safe and land the plane. Well, there was that family that missed their father's funeral that was on the flight. Wasn't there also like some kid on a ventilator? On the plane, yeah. Yeah. And I didn't hear it at the end of the flight. well again next time you see you think you see a big foot they probably parachuted down

or something like that next time you think you see a big foot on a flight just just keep it to yourself but he is the the number three scariest thing of all time so why would you not want me to update you if if he was on the wing of an airplane actually i can't i can't argue with that logic you can't i see why you did it and we're going to move on because i don't want to embarrass you any further. And I'm going to do that for you as your friend. And I appreciate that. I really appreciate that. As your bestest friend? Bestest. Bestiest. Besties for resties. How about besties for the resties? Oh, did you just come up with that? Sure. That's genius. Bird and Ernie. Besties for the resties. That's us, baby. But I'm not going to lie. There is a part of me.

As stupid as this makes me look, I don't care. You know what? This might make me look stupid, but I'm just going to say it. Even now, when I go out into the woods at nighttime, there is deep down a part of me that feels that fear again, even though I'm like, Bigfoot doesn't exist, obviously. The adult part of my brain says, no, Bigfoot's not real, dumbass, but there's that like other part of me that's not as adult that gets scared and starts to like be like, but okay, but like, yeah, but what if? see it's like in in in my brain i've i've moved away from that and uh specters and spirits for some reason in my brain are more likely to pop up like in a forest than bigfoot because we haven't seen um well we haven't seen uh clear really accurate bigfoot footage until we recently got yeah at a bit of an exclusive here at super mega

That's right. This footage has been vetted by our editor, Luke, so we know that it is, or we're trusting him that it is 100% real. We haven't taken a look at it yet, but I'm sure we will. We trust our sources. I'm sure we will see it before it comes out. But Luke, go ahead and show everyone the footage. Horrifying stuff. Yeah, absolutely terrifying. There is that famous video of Bigfoot, walk-up.

through the woods the billy mitchell tapes is that what they're called no billy mitchell's the guy who um who got a high score one time and then never sued anyone afterwards that said otherwise oh yeah i know i know who you're talking about the guy from pixels right yeah the one yeah peter dinklage's character is based off of billy mitchell who was nothing to do with bigfoot well you know what does absolutely do with big foot well he's his score is as rare as bigfoot That's true. That's true. But Bigfoot's more real than his score. I've seen some...

Allegedly. Are you just going to flat out say it? Like, are you willing to say with the utmost confidence that Bigfoot does not exist? Here's the thing today. I would be close to that. But I can only go back and think about not my perspective, but early mans. like your early like apes where like there are a bunch of ape cousins going around and shit imagine being like back in the day a normal sized ape man you go out and venture into the

world into the woods and then a giant what it's known as a gigantus pithicus rolls up which is the the common bigfoot ancestor or bigfoot himself if he continued his lineage well yeah gigantopithecus aka giant ape as I have here on my research papers you got a list is an extinct genus of ape that lived in southern and central China and possibly nearby regions from about 2 million to 300,000 years ago so

So anywhere between that time He was gigantic But do you get this They've never found a full skeleton What? Yeah Do you know that? It's because he's so big I copied and pasted some Wikipedia facts

I actually haven't even looked at them yet For Gigantus Pivagus Yeah So they're blind facts Well, they're not facts about the blind. They're facts that aren't double-checked. Yes. And read aloud on a podcast.

I haven't verified these facts, but if you watch our show, you know that we very rarely spread any misinformation. And it is represented. Oh, we spread misinformation. I accidentally spread misinformation. I remember. Wait, did you spread some misinformation recently? Remember we said Steve Spurrier, people got mad at them because he went from USC to Florida. that's not true he went from florida to USC and then after USC quit coaching so he actually has a pretty good track record and most people were upset not because he moved to another university like we thought for some reason it was because he just quit coaching and then all of our good luck kind of ran out you know i see they thought he still had some fighting him but he said no and he's like i'm old and rich bitch those were his that those were his last words at a press conference they have a roll the clip luke i'm old and rich

Bitch. Luke, that was just, never mind. It's fine. Hey, and also, I guess you can't, you can't get everything accurate, but, yeah,

well, that's, you know, well, he tries his best. Luke's just probably going, I don't know what to put. It's called improv, Luke. You're an improvisational editor. If you have to, Luke,

for improvisational actors. Exactly. Comedians and businessmen. If you have to, Luke, dress up a Steve Spurrier, get in front of the green screen, put yourself at a, at a sports press conference and do the damn thing.

Okay? Dude, that would be a great Halloween costume for Luke. A Steve Spurrier? See, yeah. Now listen to the size and appearance of this thing, Ryan. Whose thing? Gigantopithecus. Oh, sorry.

Okay. Okay, I want to picture this. Okay. Tell me the average height of a gigantus pithicus. So based on its massive teeth and jaws, researchers estimate it might have weighed between 440 and 660 pounds. And for the Brits out there, that's 200 to 300 KG. Okay? I don't know what it is in stone. Though this is very speculative, and it's often depicted as a gorilla-sized or larger ape, but with the limited fossil evidence, the exact form is uncertain.

But what about average? They don't have any, like, average size? Like, what? No, they don't know the height because they don't have a full skeleton. I'm going to guess 10 feet tall. Probably close to that, yeah. David and Goliath, David was probably just like a cave man and Goliath was a gigantus pithicus. Dude, was Goliaths? Gigantopithecus, one word. Why do I say gigantus? Because it's a, the gigantus pithicus. It sounds like a thing. It's one word. Gigantopithecus. You know, you know, you know who's talked about a lot about gigantopithicus. Joe Rogan. Yeah, he has, hasn't he? Yeah. Does he, dude, does he believe in, okay, I guess we should make a quick

like clarification. Gigantopithecus is not Bigfoot. Bigfoot. It would be a relative of Bigfoot. Yes. And if Bigfoot does exist today, it would probably be

the closest thing to Gigantopithecus that exists. Yeah. For those confusing, you know, we say Bigfoot and you don't have an imagination and you can't picture anything

in your mind, I challenge you to go right now on Amazon or Hulu or Disney Plus wherever it is Brent, Harry and the Henderson's, and watch that. And that has a good depiction of what a Sasquatch would look like and the effects of having a Sasquatch in one's family as well.

Exactly. I was actually about to say that we haven't said Sasquatch yet. Sasquatch is the modern Bigfoot. Sounds like a racist. Sasquatch does sound like a racist term. Squatch! You know, there are people that go squash hunting. Yeah, if there's people that go squash hunting,

and there were just like three shows about it growing up. Do you remember? Like history channel. Probably called Squatch hunting. Squatch hunting, squatch watching. Squatch watch. Squatch watch. We're the Squatch Watchers.

The Sasquatch Files. I love those shows. Dude, I loved it like Discovery Channel and History Channel back in the, like, mid-2000s. You couldn't beat it. Do you remember Scare Tactics hosted by Tracy Morgan? No, I don't. Was it like punked? It was literally just the whole show was like,

okay, we're going to make these people think they're going to a doctor, and then the doctor's going to turn into a vampire. And then it's going to scare them. And then we're going to go, no, it's just a prank. Your doctor's not a vampire. This is all just a prank. Oh my God, I thought my doctor was a vampire. So was it like punked on normal people?

It's like punked, but Halloween edition. Okay. But throughout the entirety of the year in a season form format. People love All Hallows Eve. Now, Matt, I want you to look, I want you to find out real quick. Before you get on with this list, I have to find out if I'm racist or not. Ready? Yeah.

And I need you to do the research for me, and I need you to give me the news if I'm racist. Yeah, actually. You're going to need your phone. I also seem to remember for some reason maybe Kevin Hart hosting scared tactics at some point, maybe. I'm beginning to be worried that I'm just saying that because it's just another black male. Yeah, but Kevin Hart is very. different from Tracy Morgan. Of course. I mean, Kevin Hart's a small man. In the back of my head somewhere firing is like, Kevin Hart, I think also did that at one point. He'd be a great host of

it. But I can't. So do you think you could look that up for me and just tell me whether or not I'm racist or not? My phone is in the other room. Are you going to come in and tell me the news? Now, y'all in the comments, but I swear, I swear there's like, because they got comedians. You know, they needed comedians to make the show not, not cringe. Because they have episodes where they make people think that they're freaking, their freaking doctors, a gosh dang vampire or something. Or like maybe they think that they make them think that like, they go to like a, um, a hypnotist.

And the hypnotist like turns some lady's husband into a vampire. that would scare me yes mr mcgee all right so sorry i laugh when i'm nervous like the joker have you ever seen the hawking phoenix's the joker when he laughs uncontrolably i haven't um but we need to talk about we need to talk about uh scare tactics if that's all yes yeah yeah um so you had mentioned to me that you believed kevin hart was uh host of scare tactics at one point did like a did like a stint on it or something i'm sure you know well looking at the results of this it looks like uh he never was a host of scare tactics um he never was on an episode or anything like uh well you know he might have been on an episode

but uh i mean i could i could see if he was on an episode search this page kevin No. I'm sorry to inform you. So it was just Tracy Morgan. It was just straight. Well, actually, the full cast was there another host they had that I could have, that was not Tracy Morgan that I could have mistook for Kevin Art? Stephen Baldwin? Was he, wait, was Stephen Baldwin on Scare Tactics? Was he a host? Tell me yes or no real quick. I don't know if he was a host. It just says Scare Tactics, Lauren Ash, Tracy Morgan, Shannon Doherty, Travis draft Stephen Baldwin.

If it helps, if it makes anything feel better, he was the only black host of scare tactics. Stephen Baldwin? He's a white man. No, no, Tracy Morgan. Yeah. For some reason I could, I had, I had this memory of Kevin Hart coming in for a stint or something. And then Tracy Morgan had the takeover. I don't know. It was a false memory and I'm guessing I'm also a little racist. No, you might be thinking of another show where, you know, Kevin Hart was a host, you know?

And while you're looking that up, How about I give the audience some more Bigfoot facts? How's that sound? Yeah. Not just facts, guys. Feelings. Ready? Kevin Hart did a haunted house with Jimmy Fallon one time.

They made it? Or like they went into a haunted house together? Hold on one second. I bet that's a funny clip. Hold on. I bet that's funny as heck. I'm just fast. for you.

It looks like they just go through a haunted, they didn't make it themselves. It's not their haunted house, they just go through a haunted house. Okay, well that's quite disappointing considering that Jimmy Fallon, um,

yeah, it says they visit a haunted house. That was the title. They both have enough money to, to make probably the best haunted house in Southern California. And they don't. And they won't invite us to it.

They won't spend exactly two million dollars each on a haunted house that Matt and I have to go through for the 20, 26 Halloween episode of the Jimmy Fallon show tonight with Jimmy Fallon. You just get on with the Bigfoot facts. Well, I looked up the five craziest and most real Bigfoot sightings to try to lend some proof to this whole thing, all right? What are the tapes called? What's that one? The Sumpkin footage.

The Burt Kreischer tapes or whatever you said. The Wachowski footage. The Bluff Creek. Okay. The Patterson Gimlin film. 67, Bluff Creek, California. California. Yeah, show is still from that.

Yeah, that's the classic one right there. Yep. Roger Patterson. Scared me as a kid. That was so ominous. It is. And I remember watching a thing on like Discovery Channel about it where they broke, like, they got some like forensics, 3D scientists to like spend like 300,000 hours

reconstructing it in perfect 3D. It's just for them to be like, yeah, there's no way it's a man in a suit. it just does they don't that's not how it looks that's not how they move that's not how a man moves and they put a man in a suit and tried it uh roger and bob captured a no not roger ebert he would be he was a he was a well-known bigfoot hunter yeah and look how that turned out um captured a 16 millimeter film of a large hairy bipedal creature walking across a creek bed like a velociraptor no not those aren't hairy said bipedal creature.

Yeah, it said large, hairy bipeditary creature. Well, they had feathers. That's true. A velociraptors did have feathers. And I guess you could say feathers are hairy, right? Yeah. 59 second clip became the world's most famous Bigfoot footage. Some see natural movement and muscle structure.

Others call it a man in a suit. But it still has not been fully debunked or proven. But it hasn't been debunked. Then there's the ape canyon incident. 1924 Washington State. Ape Canyon? Yeah. Is that a coincidence or what?

Where was this? Washington State. It's always in, well, you know. Well, no, no, actually, this is, I've been very intrigued about this. This is something that is interesting. Luke, put on screen, this is a map of Bigfoot sightings nationwide by state, like the number per state. And here's a map of files near you. This is to the specific viewer.

But let's go back to the Bigfoot map real quick. If you look, you could see that. Which is good to know. It's... The profile thing? Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, you should... Everyone should probably know

if the fattles live next to them. And it's good to... But we're talking about Bigfoot. If someone owns a pair of nunchucks, odds are, they're probably one of them, too. Now, that's not true at all. I've never met a grown man who owns a pair of nunchucks that I don't question...

Yeah, that's true. One of our viewers is just like looking over... At the pair he has mounted on his wall. And he's like, those guys. But listen to this, dude. They're always Josh at us. In the summer of 1924,

a group of gold prospectors near Mount St. Helens claimed they were attacked. Men made of gold? Yep. I'm sorry. Wait, also, I didn't finish my point about the map. The concentration is all in Washington, Oregon, and like California.

It's like specifically like the West Coast is where all the big foot sidings have. Washington's big, big foot country. It's the biggest big foot country. A great big foot country. That's fine. Okay, they claim they were attacked by a group of ape men. The creatures supposedly threw boulders at their cabin after one of the men shot and wounded one.

Rangers later found footprints, but called them easily fakable. That is scary, though. Like, imagine being in a fucking cabin in the wilderness. Being attacked by people, and even if it's just like a monkey mask. Yeah, not terrifying. Or like a bunch of people in the SpongeBob Gorilla suit? Okay, wait, I really like this one. Remember the SpongeBob Gorilla suit?

Of course I remember it. Was Bigfoot ever in a SpongeBob episode? I don't know if Bigfoot was, but there was that gorilla suit. Listen to this. Albert Ostman abduction, 1924 British Columbia, which is right next to Washington. Logger, Albert Osman claimed... Bigfoot abductions. He was camping when a Sasquatch carried him off in his sleeping bag.

He said he was held captive by a Bigfoot family, father, mother, and two youngens. For nearly a week before escaping when the father got sick from eating Osman's chewing tobacco, He didn't tell you one until decades later Just in the middle of that story It's like a Sasquatch took him back To its layer He woke up thankfully and all the Sasquatch family was gone He saw three bowls of porridge

I'm in the very last one He took a sip of one bowl of porridge Oh too hot That didn't happen I'm just going to go ahead and say right now I don't want you because Ryan You're mixing you're mixing fact and fiction right now

and that's dangerous to our viewers we need to we need to make sure people know the difference between fact and fiction Luke throw up a nonfiction book now throw up a fiction book William that's the difference William Rowe swore an affidavit

describing a six foot broadshouldered hair-covered creature with human-like features and breasts sounds like your mom or your dad what he's been working out but then he gets fat again and he ends up developing male breasts I'm telling you those are

and his ariolas are their plants did he make his ariolas in the shape of hearts how did he do that they're like perfect hearts oh it's he had them tattooed to be larger than they really are and it was like the rest of it filled in

to be a heart that's a real thing by the way that people do I remember there was this guy who was self-conscious about his nipples being too small. And they were small nipples, to be fair. Like, I have a picture of it somewhere. And it's him with a tiny-ass nipples.

He got them tattooed so the ariolas are bigger, and it looks great. It looks great. I'm serious. His nipples look fantastic. Yeah, they do. But I guess before we, you know, wrap up number three, there is a South Carolina bigfoot adjacent creature, the skunk ape, I believe. That's right, yeah, I think that's in the, like, the upstate, yeah. That's terrifying, and that's where I used to go camping.

Skunk ape is like long-haired Sasquatch, if I remember correctly. It's like more woolly, scary-looking Sasquatch. Like a gilly suit that's come to life. Yeah, sharp teeth, glowing eyes, large cock. It's true. Sasquatch would you have, probably have a mask? People mistake it for a tail at first, but it's not. It's its peanut.

It's its penis and testicles. Sasquatch would have a huge cock. My thing is about... Well, and not to take anything away from a Sasquatch who had a small penis. Because those exist too. If Sasquatch does exist, there would happen to be the Sasquatch. And the Sasquatch can't do anything about the small penis thing. Right.

If it did have a... If it existed and had a small penis, the Sasquatch. Correct. Sorry, I'm having a little bit of acid reflux. Well, ladies and gentlemen, stick around because after the commercial break, we're going to be diving into number two, the second scariest thing. I don't have anything. Is it after the ad break?

Yeah, but I don't have anything printed. And the ads are going to be in black and white. All right. Like a scary, like a scary old movie? Let's do it. Ontario, the wait is over. The gold standard of online casinos has a. arrived. Golden Nugget Online Casino is live, bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class

gaming experience right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and simple. And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top-tier table games. Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn any mundane moment into a golden opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Take a spin on the slots. Challenge yourself at the tables or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino.

Gambling problem call Connects Ontario, 1866531-260, 19 and over, physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. Who out there's gosh darn tired of hair loss? Yeah. Show of hands. Don't worry, no one else can see you. It's fine. Hair loss isn't just about hair. It's about how you look at yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror while you're looking at yourself. And that's where Hymns comes in. Hymns can help you get yourself confidence back on track with a simple, personalized plan fit for your schedule and lifestyle. They offer a whole bunch of different treatments. You like chewing things? They got chewables. You like serums or sprays? Well, they have that too. Did you know doctors approve of hymns? They use clinically proven ingredients like finastricide and monoxidil,

and they can stop hair loss and regrow hair in little as three to six months. But you don't have to take it from me. Matt also says this stuff works great. In fact, he loves it. I don't want to speak for Matt too much, but apparently it's super fun. Like, get out of town type of fun. You know what I'm saying? I got a text from grandpappy.

Apparently he doesn't want me to forget that for simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss, and more. Visit hymns.com slash super mega. Well, Pappap's right. That's hymns.com slash super mega for your free online visit.

Hems.com slash super mega. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monoxidil and finastricide featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See a website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Hungry now. Now? Now? What about now? Whenever it hits you, wherever you are,

grab an O. Henry bar to satisfy your hunger. With its delicious combination of big, crunchy, salty peanuts covered in creamy caramel and chewy fudge with a chocolatey coating. Swing by a gas station and get an O'Henry today. Oh hungry, oh Henry. Oh, goodbye, Sasquatch. Yep, no more Squatch talk for the rest of the podcast. It's time for number two of Super Mega's top three scariest things to ever exist. Yep.

Are you ready to, should we do another? And this is the 2025 list because, you know, things change. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 2020. Not to say we're doing an exact list next year. I don't want to get people, you know. But next year, if the scary, if nothing scarier has appeared than these three things, then it will. Yeah, exactly. right but but now we're off to number two

and number two are you ready witches that's right witches the the the green ones the with the big noses with the white ones as well

there's a lot of white witches right there's other witches as well but I'm afraid that if I focus on their skin color after the Tracy Morgan Kevin Hart incident of the scare tactics incident it might be further yeah just try just leave there. Yeah, I mean, you only brought it up in the first place because there's green witches.

And white witches. And there's witches of all colors. So, let's... But green witches are notorious. The ones with the... They got bumps on their noses. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? There's Belfa from the Wicked Movies. Is that her name? I had no clue. I mean, I don't know. I haven't seen the wicked movies. Belzaba. Something like that. Elfaba? Is Elfaba the good witch or the bad witch? Ryan, I couldn't. I really couldn't tell you, buddy. Does this Elphabah sound green or does it sound pink? Elphabah sounds pink. Fuck. How about, I'm just going to call her the Wicked Witch of the West then. Yeah. That one.

It's perfect. Exactly. And she was green as well, the Wicked Witch of the West, the one from the Wizard of Oz. There are, now, this has to do with witches, but there are three dreams. I would say two dreams. that have existed, that have happened in my life that I remember to this day. One of them when I was, one dream I had when I was a kid, one in an adult, two separate dreams. One of them deals with trauma and shit. That one's boring.

Yeah. Let's go to the one when I was a kid. Now, I've told you this story before, and I remember this nightmare to this day because it scared me so much as a kid. Now, imagine this. I go to bed. It's just a typical night.

And then you wake up in a dream, although to me I didn't know I was in a dream. But I wake up in a dream. false awakening exactly okay so i'm i'm just going through high so no no i'm going through my middle school or something like that at the time and maybe like sixth grade or maybe it was elementary school it was it was it was early i can't remember but i had this uh had this dream i'm walking around probably the perimeter of the school grounds and all of a sudden i hear this cackle i knew it right away yeah they could only be the cackling of a witch yep because witches have

a distinct cackle. Can we play an audio clip of a witch's cackle real quick, Luke? Thank you. Chilling. Yeah, exactly. And then I turn a corner, and I don't see it, you know, in detail or anything in the dream, but all of a sudden, on the side of the building, like the brick building, the silhouette being cast by the action, it's witches boiling my father in a giant cauldron. Ah!

They're going. And I'm like, oh no! And I remember waking up, so scared and like so frightened. Like, because for a brief moment, my reality was finding out that my poor, my poor father McGee was boiling alive. To your brain that was real in that morning. Yeah. Oh no!

I got to send my dad from the witches. Just imagining like knowing your dad, imagining your dad being boiled by it. But it was like the silhouette of it, you know? Right, right, right. That's fantastic. So I have a deep fear of witches. They've been with me ever since I was young. Oh, absolutely.

I mean, I would be terrified, too. They've always got their cauldrons, you know. I mean, the Blair Witch Project is a scary movie as well. I actually just copped that. The newer one is weird. I just bought it on VHS. The newer one? No, no, the old, the first, the original.

The Blair Witch Project. The Blair Witch Project. Yeah, it's like Blair. That's the second one. Yeah. You got the Blair Witch Project. I got the Blair Witch Project Because I thought that it would be pretty fun to watch that

You don't even see the witch in it I know I know In the second one you do Yeah which is or the third one Wasn't there a shit Wasn't there a shitty sequel that came out And then afterwards they did the other one Dude I

All I know is the remake you and I saw the remake in theaters Yeah and the And there was a big long-legged witch in that one She was scary as fuck They shouldn't show the witch She was scary still Eyes was scared She was, but you know what scared the hell out of me?

Blair Witch Project. Well, first of all, I watched that movie when I was a kid at a friend's sleepover. Should not have done that because that movie scared the fuck out of me. That is, I don't really like horror stuff too much, but Blair Witch. I'm a big baby when it comes to scary movies, too. I tend to only watch it in a group or if it's known as good. You know, if something's good, it's like I'm forced to try to, you know, get my opinion on it. See, I don't really

There's not too many horror movies I like But Blair Witch Project is like Who'd be Halloween That's pretty good I don't know That's more of a comedy than a horror though There were some scary parts You had you hid your face from the screen

At that one part When he was coming out of the house Jerk it off I don't know, dude I don't know what happens in that movie Well I've So when we watch it together You don't remember anything

Like the part where he came out of the house Jerking off You don't remember that part You were just fake that you man you're good at improv for you to be able to guess what happened in the movie

exactly as it happened well he does come out of the movie but the house jerking off just something who's hubby who's hubby what is that movie

whoby hooby halloween is he like a pumpkin his name is hoobie is he a pumpkin no he's Adam Sandler that's a guy named hoobie

and it's Halloween time it's hubby so it's hoobie so it's hoobie and it's Halloween and there's a Killer Oh Well that's not good

And there's a twist And then The movie sucked I hated it And I can't really Remember much of it I just It's one of those movies

Where you watch And you're like Dude I don't Okay sorry My brain goes off On Little Spurs And I pick Why is it

When we are watching A bad movie at home I still do this I'll sit through it I won't go This is Like you have the full You're an adult

Yeah You have free will I can Turn it off And go do anything I want I can I'll do something else with my time, but no, it's some cost fallacy. Could be a witch's curse. Could be a witch's

curse as well. Like a witch curse me with obsession. Yeah. Like, or maybe some kind of spell where it's like, once you start a bad movie, you might not know it's bad when you start it, but once it started, you have to watch the whole thing. Otherwise, your parents will die. Otherwise, they'll boil your father in a cauldron outside the school. And they'll have a big spotlight shining on it onto a brick wall so when you round the corner you only see the silhouette at first but how is it that that dream

has stuck with me because I was about the ring I had three dreams originally there's the traumatic one that who gives a shit the peanut butter one yeah and then there was that one

and then there was a third dream that I decided not to tell because I think I remember it not really being a dream but it was a story that I'd you know it's real life it was um I was

I was, I was a young boy and I was scared at night and I ran to my dad's bedroom. And he was being boiled alive. No, no, this isn't the dream. This is in real life. I go to my dad's bedroom and I'm like, I had a bad dream. Can I, uh, I need to sleep. I need to sleep with you tonight. You know, when you're a kid, you're scared.

You got to go run to Mommy and Daddy's room. Oh, granted. Yeah. Of course. So I go do that and he's like, no, you're too old. And I think I try it. I tried it again, except this time with the excuse of I had a bad dream that I was being chased by a polar bear. So you got to let me sleep in your bed tonight because I'm too scared.

And I don't think that worked either. But you didn't actually have a bad dream about a polar bear? No. That's why I took it away. All right, you better pray that he doesn't watch this episode because he'll know that he, that might shatter that foundation of trust in your relationship with your father, right? Like he, this whole time. Well, he didn't let me sleep with him regardless. True, true.

His loss. Yeah, his loss. I'm very warm when I sleep. That's true. I've slept with you as in, and we've shared a bed. Exactly. I haven't slept with you in the way we're slept is like a humanism for having sex. It's not like, I know you.

We don't know each other. You know what I mean? Like Shakespearean know to know someone. Also, I'd like to, you know, like sex, like intercourse. We haven't had intercourse. Like, Luke, can you throw up a penis going into an anus? That's what we're talking about. This is what gay sex looks like.

And that is not what we have done. Luke show two men It's called say dog Seedog, Seedog, Luke And show two men sleeping together Non-sexually This is what we did But

I don't know I have dreams There's dreams that I had As like a little boy That I still remember And I don't know why There's some with your priest There's some that like

Were scary And then some that were just fully normal But for some reason I remember them still Like dude you remember Every fucking dream you have It's true

I know technically you don't Of course that's hyperbole But you remember So many of your fucking dreams I remember most of my dreams Every morning when I wake up Just because of my I guess sleep issues

Make me just always Horny baby No Oh But that is a good Austin Powers reference Who And Austin Powers is horny And you know who else is horny

Which is Yep I mean there's a lot of Which In the movie The Vivich and they fucking they chop up a little baby

and then they they cover their bodies in it slime or something What? They covered themselves in baby slime? Doesn't the witch like with all the babies

mushed up bits? That sounds like something that'd be in a horror movie But I have to see the I know at the end There's a bunch of naked witches Really? Yeah

I thought are they hot witches? Uh green or? No, they're white witches. All of them are just white witches. Now there's two types of white witches. There's like, there's white witches that are like the real scary ones with like the frasly hair. Like the ones from Bewitched. Yeah.

And then there's the white witches. Or Sabrina, the teenage witch. Exactly. But then there's the white witches that are like the. Or Halloween town. Sorry. Yes. Then there's like the college girl white witches with like maybe, maybe she's, you know.

The new Sabrina, the teenage witch. With the dreads and everything. Yeah. Yeah. The white girl with the dreads. Yes. Honestly, what do you think of the sea witch, the one in Pirates of the Caribbean? Jacksbury, who turns out to be the goddess of the sea?

Wait, oh, I love her. Yeah, she was really cool. She's fucking hot, isn't she? She was, I didn't want to be the first one to say it, but yeah. Could you imagine being in a room drinking some Sprite with her? Yeah, I'm liking what I'm, what it sucks for. She's licking her, uh, chopsy. I was about to say something that might have been misconstrued as I was saying,

she's licking her black lips, but she has black lipstick on. Yes. It has nothing to do with race. No. But because it bothered me as a kid because like it was, it was like chalky. Right. I don't know what it. It wasn't lipstick.

It was something, it was supposed to be something else. It's witch stick. Witch stick. It was witch stick. It was black witch stick. And witches, witches be real scary, I will say. Like, I always remember being terrified of, as a kid, Wizard of Oz. when the Wicked Witch of the West

would be flying around the tornado going Yeah then she gets fucking Well she doesn't get flattened Her sister gets flattened Wait The Wicked Witch of the West She gets water porn on her And she melts

Her sister gets flattened by a house At the beginning of the movie in Munchkin Town And they think that it's But they think it's her I don't remember it's been a while No they They know Because she's the Wicked West

The Wicked Witch of the East And it kills her and they're all happy. Oh, that's right. And then the Wicked Witch of the West goes, you fucking... Honestly, dude, the way that her, like, feet curled up

scared the shit out of me as a kid. That's what happens when witches die. When they go... It's almost like they're on a, like, a spinning... They have something like a reeling them back. Yeah, I don't like that. It was creepy, because in my head, I still imagine the skin and the bones

and all of that stuff just got flattened down and rolled it up or something. It's funny, actually... A human-frew roll-up, if you will. Very funny that there's a bit of a... parallel here because I remember as a kid seeing that movie and having the thought of my dad's feet coming out

from underneath the house and my dad being dead and it was like his tennis shoes and that really upset me Why are you thinking about your dead dad's feet? His tennis shoes. I'm making the connection how you had the thing with the witches with your dad that scared you and I also had something with the witches with my dad.

Your dad's feet? Yeah, because his feet were sticking out from one of the house because the house had flattened him like in the movie. and we're back ladies and gents we're back ladies and gents we're back and we're you're on thin ice we got a lot of flack Yeah, we do. But I don't think we deserve it because this is a wonderfully decorated set.

Look at it. We got some booze in the comment section, but hopefully those are just specters. And when you say booze, you're not talking alcohol. No. You're talking, our viewers typing the word boo. Yeah, but hopefully not in also the... They're not saying like boo-

Yeah, yeah, no, no. They're just, they're talking, they're pretending to be ghosts. If you see any booze, it's the, it's the Halloween episode, obviously. And if you see any booze in previous or future episodes, that's just... It's an extension of this. It's like Disney adults, except these are Halloween adults. The Halloween is all year round for them. It never is not Halloween for them.

It's cringe and it's more of a reflection of their character than it is on the quality of our content. Exactly. And before we get into the number one scariest thing to ever exist on the earth or outside of the earth in other dimensions even, like, you know, or parallel universes, everything, all of it, I think we should let our audience know. Word of the Week. That's right. It's ghost. That's right. Ghost. It's a noun. And you know what it means? It's on screen. It's a spirit or entity that exists after one's death. Yep. That haunts and floats around the place and can go through walls. Go through walls and floors. In fact, It can go right down to China if it wanted to. Through the earth.

Through the earth. It doesn't even have to get a board of flight. It can just go through the earth, through the center of the world to China and come out on the other side. Now, we in tandem memorize that whole definition. If we could have that typed out. Yeah, make sure that is there. Because that is the official Webster's definition of ghost. We worked hard to memorize that before this episode.

Mm-hmm. But anyway, guys... It's also a verb. It is a verb. Which, I mean, we can include that as well if you want. Yeah. Yeah, it means to scare somebody, you know, when you ghost somebody. Yeah.

You know, I hear a lot of, like, I hear a lot of you, like, oh, I got ghosted by someone. It's like, that means they got scare pranked. Yeah. They got prank, or prank scared prank scared? Scared tactics. Oh, so you just. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for going back to that.

Are you sure Kevin Hart wasn't even like a guest star? Listen, I looked it up. I looked up scare tactics, Kevin Hart. Well, Kevin Hart definitely was in Crodman, Dune. Well, yeah, but I would, did we debate that? Is anyone debating that? It's a show. It was a show on Comedy Central.

Kevin Hart was also in Gid Hard with Will Ferrell. And he was in Bringing On All or Nothing. And he's in a movie with Brian Cranston, right? Yeah, where Brian Cranston plays like a paraplegic. Yeah, if Kevin Hart plays like the guy that pushes him around and they fall in love or something. it's movies like that that get made and I understand the heart behind it and I'm sure I'd cry if I watched it myself it's movies like that that get made where I'm like how why who how did this get made why did this get made and who green lit it who read it and went I'm gonna put millions of dollars into this thing you know what I mean

tens of millions it doesn't make sense to me because to me I'm like this is a movie for no one and and also not just that but it's like how do how does Brian Cranston's agent convince him that this is the like Yeah, Brian, this is the role to take right now. And you might be wondering, what does this have to do with witches? Well, we have a theory, Matt and I, that Brian Cranston was cursed by a witch to not have any good roles post-breaking Bad. Besides Red Tales. Besides Red Tales. Yeah.

And the man that lives in his house that watches his wife. That movie, remember that one? The man who lives in another house parallel to his house and watches his wife? And Jerry and Mark... Is that the full title of the film? I think so. There's the Jerry and Marge go big one. That movie, too.

There's a, he was also, um, that journalist in the bathtub, or that guy in the bathtub with the mustache. Don't bother me when I'm riding. Trombo? Yeah. Or whatever, tombo? Yeah. Trumbo, gumbo? Dumbbo?

Like, what the fuck? Who cares? Louis C.K. was in that, right? That movie? Louis C.K., uh, I remember when I was younger, I used to be a big fan. Daniel and I used to watch a bunch of Louis C. I know, you guys got me on to him. And he came out with this movie that he only sold on his website.

With Chloe Grace Moretz? Yeah. Yeah. And it's fucking awful. Oh. At least I remember watching it. It was like a black and white movie. It was just like, I just remember watching me like, yeah, I guess this is what happens

when you give a guy some money and he makes a passion project. But that wouldn't happen if studios gave him. us money. No. That we'd make them at least a few million over budget. Right.

But you, maybe even a billion over budget. Yeah, probably. Especially if you give us, give us $10 million. Uh-huh. No,

give us the budget Chris Stuckman got. Multiply that by two because I like... Because there's two of us. Yeah, exactly. And then multiply that budget by 1.5

because you got to think of the 1.5 times explosion budget, because you always need more money for the explosions. Yep, that's a classic Hollywood rule. Sorry, to any producers watching, my friend has a condition where he starts laughing. Shut up, you yellow fuck.

Ryan. What? The producers watching are not going to like this. Or maybe they'll go, wow, his acting's really good. Maybe we should give them that money. Maybe Universal should give us our, our own maybe they should just let us talk on the rides first trust us with with with with their clientele like we can go on the tours and give them and show them that we're funny

and entertaining and can make all these schmucks that are miserable sitting on these uncomfortable seats on the tour bus happy honestly we can do that they can trust us with a show I have had that thought where I'm like man if super mega really fell apart we're gonna go work for water world yeah like like if I if I needed uh like if if this was not our job I'd probably probably end up being, like, at the Universal Studio Tour, the person that's, like, narrating and telling the jokes. Hey, I'm Matt. If you look to your left, you'll, I mean, they say some stupid joke. Yeah, that'd probably be me. So, well, actually, this is related to the number one scariest thing in the entire universe world. I'll let a, I'll let a cracker spill the tea.

Yeah. You're going to let this cracker spill some tea? Yeah, spill that tea, cracker juice, man. Should we do some? Don't call me that. Should we do some... I'm serious. Should we do some drum roll? Big drum roll though. With feet and everything. The scariest thing in the world is the absolutely crushing weight and responsibility of having a successful YouTube business.

And before anyone jumps in to go, that's bullshit, that's not enough. How is that scary? None of y'all know. None of y'all watching this, you know, unless there's any famous YouTubers watching this, which you're going to have to stop lurking and comment below to prove to us that you are famous and do make money off of this because y'all don't understand the, uh, the trials and tribulations and fear Matt and I have every day. You know, we, we have to, we have to face or, we have to, we have to face our mortality in the face. Yeah. And, you know, you guys out there with your little,

your little jobs your cute little jobs you might be going oh my god and we're trying to demean you when he says that I don't want you to think that we actually think your jobs are cute and meaningful yeah no absolutely we're talking down to you when you're when you get home and you go

oh I just had to work nine hours and my back hurts oh man and these fucking asshole YouTubers what they just get to sit and make dick jokes and dress up as burden earning play video games yeah it's harder than it looks okay

the expectations one of of being YouTubers people think that we're awesome all the time and not to say that we aren't awesome or anything like that it's just that we have to be awesome even in our private lives Right and people like we have to

We have to be bigger bigger characters than we already are on screen We have to be awesome sauce 24 7 You're not lying there buddy People don't understand the the toll that takes on Can we get a lightning strike for how spooky being a YouTuber is?

Thanks, Luke. Thank you, Luke. You need to do work on that screen. It was obvious that it wasn't lightning and you just turn the screen on. Maybe a little quicker, like a flash of, you know, I, never mind. Who am I to tell you how to edit? Well, I mean, you are. It just seemed more, it seemed more like a jump cut or like multiple jump cuts instead of like lightning flash.

You know what I mean? Technically, if anyone is to tell him how to edit, it would probably be you, but just because you are his employer. and he is his job is editor so and we did used to edit for the game and we know how to edit in markiplier and markiplier and um and kitty cat gaming and lord minions and only plays at one point and only plays yeah we we edited for and tobascus there was a short stint with toubuscus but we didn't put our names on that the well he wouldn't let us put our names on it but the one with written house that's some of my finest work so uh but it it's a lot of responsibility guys and I know it's very easy to

you know think that the grass is always greener it is it is greener on our side but it is still very scary and stressful like imagine imagine waking up and sorry imagine going to bed not knowing what time you'll have to go to work tomorrow like is it going to have to be 10 a.m? 11

like when I mean when I'm going to bed at 5 a.m. Ryan, and I'm not sure if I'm going to have to wake up at 1230 or 2.30 in the afternoon. The uncertainty bewilders you. It's awful. It feels horrible. It's a horrible feeling. You know? So I wish more people would cut us some slack. And it's scary because we have to share the platform with people like, you know, you can show the picture, Luke. I don't want to say it. It's for engagement. So people have to come and look at the picture. or you know having to show the platform with you know people in the comments will type who it is because they all know also for engagement yeah of course um but boo that's that's that's the

top three scariest things ever of all time and if the list changes we'll make sure to update you next Halloween you know what if it changes this might be the first like of of every spooky Halloween episode of our of our podcast shows we've done this might be the first one where we actually stayed on topic with the theme of the episode for the whole time which is a miracle which is which is they made me say that yeah what the fuck you know i just really quick um you know you could just put on another shirt and this could double as an ian hecox costume for you yeah i definitely could Damn, dude. But for real, next year we got to be Ian and Anthony. I'm talking like 2010 Ian and Anthony down to the tea. Do you know what's really scary? I just slimed my pants.

What? Smell that? Right? Yeah, no, I smell it. It's scary, right? I didn't know that's what that was. It's a good finale for the Halloween episode. Yeah, and if you want to see more of this episode,

there's another segment coming up on our Patreon, the after show. And you can go to our Patreon and, you can go to our Patreon. And you can also see all the names on screen. You can become a podcast producer or an executive producer and get stickers in the mail each month. Okay, guys, happy Halloween. We got to do a dipey check. Well, I don't know.

It's not even a check, just a full-on change at this point. Jesus, fuck. Are you not scared at all? Because that smells like shit. I'm trying to be strong right now. All right, guys. See you in the after show. Love you.

Happy Halloween. I'm going to be.