supermegashow - The Great Gooning Disaster | supermegashow - 099

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. You guys know me. You know that I always struggle with sleep issues. Well, guess what? I don't struggle as much anymore. Why? Because of IndyCloud. That's right. Before bed, I pop one of those delicious little gummies and then I'm out like a light. To quote Drake, that's right. You know how stressful February can be. Luckily, with Indicloud, there's gummies for when your thoughts won't shut up. Like I said, I can pop one of those bad boys and be asleep like I've never slept before. So, if you're 21 or older, go to Indicloud.com. And use code for 35. percent off the entire month. That's indecloud.com. Code super mega, 35% off, ship discreetly to your door, and the only relationship this February that definitely won't break up with you.

So enjoy responsibly, and major thank you to Indicloud for supporting this show and keeping laughs within reach. Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your docks, your permits,

your moves, AI levels of your pitch, gets it in a groove. Use a template with your timeless cool. Drive design, deliver, make it sing. AI builds the deck so you can build that thing. Learn more at Adobe.com slash do that with Acrobat. Thanks for helping me do those stretches before the podcast. Of course, it's important to be limber.

It's important to have your body alert. I mean, you got me feeling nimble. You got me feeling quick. I got you feeling like you could gosh darn jump over a freaking candle stick. I don't know if I'd go that far. A candelabra? Yeah, I could jump over a candlelabra. Okay.

What is a candelabra? I just said it because it was... I'm guessing it's... I thought it was one of those, like, candle cup thing maybe's... Maybe it's not... I thought it was like a chandelier or something. Hold up.

Candelabra. It sounds like an enemy and like an MMO. That's a level 80 candelabra. Okay, so no, not one of those handle things. It's one of the, like, big, like a... Oh, okay. It's like an obra of candles. Exactly.

It's literally, it's an obra of candles. That's the best way I could put it. And now you know, thanks to this cold opening, what a candleabra. You probably already knew. We're just stupid. No, I don't know, dude. Actually, don't call it stupid.

That's a tricky one, I think. That aluminum can made quite the sound right there. We're going to have to restart the whole show now. No, no. We can just, this can just be the cold. No, I, that ruined it. Let's restart. He tripped on his way back from the restroom and he cracked his neck.

He cracked it wide open and blood just poured out. And you could see the bone that snapped through the muscle tissue. Oh, it was bad. I mean, he's still laying there. I just thought you guys should know. Can we get a picture of Matt on screen? The little black and white, you know, RIP, start to play some sad piano music. This one goes out to Matt Watson.

In the arms of the angels. It's okay if the piano doesn't match, Luke. If Matthew is a king, he really was alive, but now he's Dead and gone with Thanksgiving. I kind of went into another song there, but I think, you know, the heart shows what. Can you please show Matt's chair? Can you throw up that black and white picture of him again? Oh, good Lord.

Can you also maybe play one of his favorite sound effects? Oh, that's a good one, Luke. to everyone out there, Matt Watson, what's... What's up, dude? What's up? What's up, bro? How you doing? I know your white ass didn't start the show without him. No.

It was just an alternate cold open in case the... Because you didn't like the last one. I loved the last one. I thought it was perfect. You're the one that said we should restart it. And so I was just taking off of that. Maybe, you know, I'll do a second cold open or something. Didn't you just do a second cold open? Well, that's what I'm saying is like that would be the second cold open.

Oh, okay. That's fine. If we needed one, if we wanted to replace the first one. Whatever it was, just keep it. Well, you don't even replace the first one. You could just make it after the like, theme song. I was that, you know. We have a theme song? Yeah.

It goes, Ryan and Matt talking and having some fun and stuff like that, right? No, but that's not a bad idea. Imagine if we had like a core, like just a group of people. Think of like a full house opening type of song. But for our podcast. Okay. Family guy even. That's not a bad idea.

Because this is episode 99. Mm-hmm. I got 99 podcast episodes, but a guest ain't one. Yeah, you like that? But basically think about this, dude. We've had the same theme song since episode one of Super Mega Show. What better time to switch it up than episode like 100 or something? Yeah.

We could spend the next week solely focusing on just getting like gospel singers. Nothing else done. Well, that's going to happen regardless. Instead, we could just get this theme song made. We really should do a like a theme song for the podcast. That's like a full house fucking. And then we should, oh, it should be for like a special episode. Episode 127 maybe. You going to do that?

Huh? You're setting us up for failure here. I mean, that's a good bit away. Think about it. It'll come fast. Like you. Because you're like when we have to go to a movie or something and it's last minute and I call you, hey, SpongeBob's showing. I come fast. Yeah.

You get there pretty quickly. Especially when SpongeBob is on the line. Is on the line. I come fast. And it has Mark Hamill in it. Luke Skywalker, your favorite character? No shit. Yeah, he plays the Flying Dutchman.

Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, dude, I had no clue Mark Hamill played The Flying Duchman. Who's Ice Spice play? I think Patrick in this one. Okay. That makes sense. I see it.

Yeah, I haven't seen the new SpongeBob movie. Yeah. I also have not. What are you? Are you saying we should go see the new SpongeBob movie? Not what I was saying, but I mean, you seem really excited right then. No, it's fine. And if you want to, I would go see it with you.

We could, there's probably something better. You know, I haven't even seen Begonia yet. I haven't either, but it's streaming right now on HBO Max. It is streaming because when I turn on my television, my smart television, I see it right there on the homepage. Wait, I got a stand-up bit. Just popped it in my head. Yeah, so I, uh, anybody else have a smart TV?

Yeah, you know, with all the stuff they're putting on these, on the TV these days. With all the stuff they're putting on the on TV these days, hold on us. I, um, I'm going to go to a different joke. Dude, just like, I love the idea of a guy. Answering way. Way too late. Interrupting the, like, so he's got a smart TV. Just like 30 seconds later.

Yeah, I do. Because it would catch you off guard if you were like on stage because it would catch you off guard because you would try to be figuring out. It's he responding to? And you'd be like, oh, he's responding to that. And then you have to get back to your joke. So I'll try to get back to it and it's like, so I mean with all this,

I think with all this stuff they got on TV these days, it's more like a dumb TV. Why don't they call it a dumb TV? Yep. Who's got a smartphone? Anyone here? Me? All right.

Let's see one of you. One guy's got a smartphone. Oh, yeah. Just to look over to like breathe in like Because you know this guy's like It's like if he starts that from the first joke It's like it's gonna be a rough set But it's like that's enthusiastic

That's what you want right Out of a crowd You know interaction You know we want interaction on our videos Likes comments Subscribes Bell rings Bell rings definitely

Love those bell ringers Could you ring that bell? Is that still a bell? Is the bell still a thing? Bell ringer squad. Where are you at? I actually saw that that doesn't even really matter anymore. Because such a small percentage of views comes from people that have the bell on.

Bell ringers. Yeah. That it's like they don't even get updated anyway. Yeah. They'll turn it off randomly on some. And I'm honestly not convinced. In fact, I'm fully actually convinced that that is a fully fixable process. that YouTube has intentionally not fixed or it's intentionally designed that way algorithmically,

like where people will turn on notifications for a channel and then certain things just won't hit their subbox, just won't give them a notification. Because YouTube, I mean, it's owned by Google. It's like one of the biggest tech companies in the world. That's a really simple website mechanic for a company like Google to get right. And it's like all these years later, if it's still broken, I think there's like another reason. reason and it has to do with like algorithm stuff and what they're pushing what they want to push you know so propaganda that's not what i'm saying ryan i'm saying what it wants to push no i'm saying

there there is a active targeted campaign against let's players and uh unfortunately you and i fall into that camp we would have to release let's plays to be considered let's players Watch it Those two Leco episodes Ryan You're walking a thin fucking line There was something else Wasn't there

Hmm Oh I really hate that I do have to really think Besides holiday I'm not counting holiday episodes The Santa Claus game I said I'm not counting holiday episodes Hmm

Hey well they're gonna like What we got cooking now Oh there was this one series They were doing that I really liked It was oblivion They released like five six episodes Everyone Like every one

It's like the people came from everywhere around the channel again to be like, woohoo! Remember what I said about a fine line? You're like a tightrope walker right now. With a broken leg. On a unicycle. With a broken leg. And a flat tire.

But that just proves how talented I am at the balancing act. That's true. Or I just fall immediately upon trying to enter the rope just... There was a family called the Flying Willendas that were real famous. You've talked about them before. Have we? I think I remember. Because something clicked in my...

my brain was like the flying wellindas and there's no one else who I would have a conversation with where the flying willindas would come up that's true probably um I feel like you're not going to be talking to like your dad or or stepdad gym about the flying wellinda's it was like a family that was just tightrobed walkers and they did a whole routine where they'd get on each other's shoulders and yeah they fell pretty fucking hard and a lot of they die uh some of them did not all of them but uh and men that guess what they were out there next night more like the falling will Linda's. Jesus, dude.

I know people that died in that shit! 9-11 improv class video. Dude, that's such a classic video. It's, uh... Did you show that to me? Like, I can't remember if I showed it to you, but I, you and I had saw it, like, we knew about it around the same time, I feel. I feel like you showed it to me and, like, you found it or...

I mean, it's not even something Daniel should. I really don't, I can't really go back. Is it a well-known video? I think so. It's kind of like, I'm forgetting the specifics for some reason, but I remember there's like this video of some guy at a talent show in a courtyard of like a high school

that got, I can't remember what he was doing, unfortunately. Remember that video that was viral that I can't remember? Yes. The, I know people that died in that shit, reference for people that might not get that. It was an improv comedy class that was being filmed. And one of the guys makes a joke during an improv thing to another guy. Because he has a big beard and he refers to him as, what, 9-11 beard?

And the guy with the 9-11 beard, you know, he does not like, he knows people that died in that shit. Was it him? I thought it was someone else. I'm pretty sure he's the one that got upset. But he freaks out and it's very uncomfortable. It like cuts and then it continues into the hallway. Yeah, where it's like after class and he's like waiting outside and getting his friend to film because he's going to confront the teacher or something. Luke go ahead and put in just like a very quick cut up highlight reel from that video. Without further ado, I know people.

that died in that shit. You're gonna do? What are you gonna do? You're gonna associate me with a terrible... It's a joke. It's the joke. That's not funny. Yeah, that's...

That's fucking bullshit, dude. The fuck! I know people who fucking die in that shit! The fuck, you want me to go back in there now? Is that it? And just like... I think they're... They're good.

I think they said they're gonna be landing to anyway. Do some more jokes after that shit. Is this another clip show up? I got some clips I could show people. Do you want to show some clips? Yeah. What do you want to show? Here's one.

Cut out when he says he lied. Luke. You see Eric Manez is it's a big penis too. My voice cracked. Yeah. That was a very embarrassing focal. I don't. I don't.

Using like booby. And you got a real voice crack out of me there. Well, those, those trios of, not like that. Okay. We said different numbers. So I didn't have to start 2026. I know. My voice cracked again.

And you mind if I maybe. show. You already showed your clip. I was just trying to show my clip. If it's a clip show episode, you show more than one clip each dude. And also, by the way, the, I know people that died in that shit clip, that was for both of us. That wasn't a me clip. With Amex Platinum, you

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You know? That's right. You know how stressful February can be. Luckily, with Indicloud, there's gummies for when your thoughts are. won't shut up. Like I said, I can pop one of those bad boys and be asleep like, like I've never slept before. THC sodas for social plans you didn't fully commit to, premium pre-rolls for leaving the function early, or staying later, winky face. And $70 ounces, because peace of mind shouldn't cost more than your utilities. Everything's federally legal hemp THC, DEA certified lab tested, and shipped discreetly. I don't know how I'd make it through this frickin' February crazy month without IndyCloud. So, if you're 21 or older, go to IndyCliaclub,

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tams it was a great clip yeah you're picking up what i'm putting out i'm asking if you want to go to great clips after work and get haircuts i knew it i knew it from that from that twinkle in your eye you know the great clips twinkle we both need haircuts i don't think i do so thanks man i don't know It's, mine is pretty long. Yeah. It's always when it starts to get longer here. It's like, oh, that's when it's like, I need a shape up. It starts getting in my eyes.

Yeah. I try to tie it back sometimes, but. I haven't had like short hair in a long time. It's been years. I miss it. And part of me wants to like, like, remember, when is the last time I had short hair? Was it like 2019? No, okay.

Actually, yes, because we went on tour in late 2020. 2019, we shaved our heads on stage in Texas. Yes. In Austin or Houston? Yeah. So that was the last time I had short hair was shortly after that. So like early 2020. I feel like I've cut mine a few times.

I like once or twice after that too. You have cut it short since then because some of the, there's like thumbnail shots that we took. A year or two ago. Two years ago. Year and a half. Yeah, where you have short hair. My hair's been growing for a bit.

but it needs to be chopped off. I can feel, like... You don't like that main? It's nice every now and then, I guess, but it's just sometimes you feel it on your neck and then you can't get it out of the way when you're eating.

There just comes a point where it's like, I get hints of just wanted to... Just get it all off. Get it all off of me! But I'm too lazy for that shit. You're like Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite when he goes home and he gets, his head feels hot and he gets in the bath.

And he drinks some cold water and then he realizes it's his hair that's making him hot. So he just shaves it all off. Yeah. If you haven't seen the movie Napoleon Dynamite, the one that Matt just referenced, give it a watch. I don't even know if people have heard of, if a lot of people have heard of that movie. It's a pretty like indie, like underground hit. Yeah, kind of like Juno. Right.

And Captain America. a first Avenger. I thought you were going to say Captain Phillips. First Avenger. Well, that's still in the works, so. And I didn't spoil anything because it's not a real, it's not a real movie. I would fucking love if in like Marvel, yes, they have these like cameos from real life. Real life, but like this whole multiverse thing, like we get like Tom Hanks landing, like landing a plane on the Hudson, like Captain Sully.

Like I wish we got Captain Sully pulling up helping the Avengers. Like it was a multiverse, not just with Marvel stuff, but from all content and media and all that shit. I love that idea. Actually, it's like ready player one, but instead of video games, it's movies. Yes. And they just get the real actors, you know? Like Captain Sully comes in. Maybe Captain Phillips comes in.

That would be fun. There's got to be a trio. So the joke is like, there's three Tom Hanks. He has to play another captain. A shrimp and boat captain. Forrest Gump They could use that weird looking de-ageifying stuff Where it just looks like they blurred and soften their face

Which is really interesting to me that like In cinema like high production shit It looks so bad but you can go on an AI website And do it to a video in five seconds and it looks better than that It's like all those times where stuff will come out from Disney Or another big budget studio And the effect will they'll put out the episodes.

There was this like big effect scene or something where it's like de-aging, whatever it is. And it just misses. It's like there's something uncanny and like as a collective everyone watches. Like that fell off. And then all of a sudden, a fan will come up on YouTube in like less than a week

and be like, here's this but better. Yeah. And then I think there's the story. I think this, I don't know if this is like a move, but I think the Star Wars people ended up hiring one of those people to work on the show, on like one of, of their shows. Hey, I mean, we've, we've hired editors based on, like, stuff that people have made, like,

uh, super mega edit stuff that we've seen and we're like, oh, that's good. Um, so guys, never stop dreaming. Um, but honestly, when I saw Indiana Jones in the circle of whatever, uh, the doom. Circle of time. Circle of time, I think. Something of, dial of destiny. Dial of yes. When I saw that one, the circle one is the game. Okay. Circle dial. Circle, circle, dot, dot. Now I got my cootty shot. Hell yeah.

But the beginning of that movie is young Harrison Ford. Like, it's Harrison Ford from the old Indiana Jones movie where they de-aged him. And they actually did a really, really good job with that. I was, when I was watching it in theaters, I was sitting there next to Luke. And I just remember being like, whoa, that just looks really good. Like, I'm actually like, I was pleasantly surprised by that Indiana Jones movie. I haven't seen it. It wasn't bad.

The first time I noticed that type of technology being used, I think, was in, it was in Civil War, whatever that one was called, the Avengers Captain America Civil War. It was a Civil War movie where it starts with Tony Star. It's like they made Tony Stark look younger and then some other guy look younger. But it was just kind of like, it didn't look great at the time. But it was for me, one of those moments of like, oh, shit, we're doing this now. Like we're not using, maybe there's makeup involved, but you remember like that specific makeup whenever they try to make a really young person old? It's like you can still see the youth behind their eyes and even though they're acting. It's like, I think honestly a big part of it is that their skin is very, it's still very like taught.

Yeah. Because that's, I mean, that's why people get facelifts when they're older because your face starts to like loosen and sag. And then a facelift basically just like. stretches that back. And then with like all the makeup that they used to do, like old makeup, although there has been some where they do a really good job.

Like the Johnny Knoxville, like jackass old, old grandpa makeup, I think is really good. Well, those are full on prosthetics, I think, right? But like,

you know, like in movies, I don't want to try to be so unfair as to go back all the way to, um, something like back to the future or whatever. But you know there's that specific, Whenever you see an old person, like a young person in old makeup, you clock it right away.

It's like, oh, that's like, that's someone in makeup. Are you talking about like when like Crispin Glover or like the mom, when they have to play older versions, the actors have to play older versions of themselves in like modern day? And as I said, I think that might be a little cheap because that's a movie from decades and decades ago, right? So, yeah, well, it's not like a 30s or 40s movie, but it's from the 70s or 80s, sorry, which I don't. Back to the future, I think is like 87. Okay. 88. I think 87.

But I mean, it's also the same though when they try to like before deaging with computers when they would try to make people that were older look younger with makeup, which can work in certain things. But if they're trying to play a version, a younger version themselves that is well known, like a character and a franchise, that's always tricky because like people have an idea already of what that person. person looks like as this character when they were young. And when you try to like do, undo that with makeup, it's, it's pretty noticeable. I'm all still, I'm still all for just like casting a different actor to play old and young self and like having the audience be smart enough to be like, oh. And like, I don't know, just I don't, there's, in certain cases I can see it, like, it's fine. But when you get to the, there's some that have even been memed, like the Robert De Niro in the Irishman where it's like they deage him and make him young when he, he

can't physically play that young of a character. Like he's trying to play like a 40 year old or 30 something year old at one point. Do they even really change his voice for that? I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. I've just seen that scene where it's just right. You haven't seen it. Yikes.

I haven't, um, I only saw Irishman once and it was in theaters and. It's probably all, you think you're going to see the second time? Maybe later in life. I mean, like, it's one of those things where it's like if I was, like, if we were hanging out and it's like, I want to watch the Irishman. I wouldn't say no. Oh, I would never want to watch. I don't think I'd want, like, if we're hanging out,

I don't know if I'd want to just spend that time sitting for like three and a half hours. I'll be honest, dude, do people, and that's in the comfort of your own home. People don't want to go to the movies to watch a three-plus hour movie, unless they're going to bring, I've, I'm, I've, did you ever see Avatar? The new one, no. No. You still got to go see that. I do have to go see it.

I've heard it's, I've heard it's important. James Cameron needs you. He said he's going to spoil full. and five if he doesn't receive the funding necessary for them. Really? Yes. Okay, I'll go see it. But it's like, I've been a staunch supporter of this.

They got to bring intermissions back because they had intermissions back in the day. And also, that would increase concession sales. Like, give everyone a chance to fucking get up and go pee, dude. Like three, I think three hours is the mark where it's like an hour and a half, give us a, what, five minute, ten minute. what do you think 10? 10 minutes. Five is, you know how long women be taken to use the bathroom, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And they always go in there together. It's like, well, I don't know what they're doing in there. But then I guess you start to get into also the conversation of then will movies. No, because streaming is so big. I'm about to say, like, does that mean the structure of movies will inherently change?

You already have like, for example, I mean, this isn't really anything that's different. You see it in a lot of like schlop and action, whatever. But Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, I saw some headline recently. They're talking about like a movie they're in on Netflix where, like, Netflix apparently wants them to restate what's going on in the plot several times throughout the movie so that people on their phones are constantly updated on like, this is what's going on. I hate the attention span shortening. It's happening. I can tell it's happening to me. Me too.

I'm wanting to be like, okay, let's speed this guy up to 1.5. Or even like, I mean, sometimes like I'll be watching a fucking video on like Instagram Reels or Twitter. And it's a short video and it's still, I'm like, all right, let's let's let's get on with it. And I'm like, can I not just sit and watch a video? Which I don't like that. But we used to be. I used to just sit down and just watch a long ass video. Can you read like how do you think you would be sitting down and reading a magazine article?

Well, the thing is I've always. hated magazine articles. Like, I'd be much better if you just give me a little book. I am much better at reading when I'm on vacation than when I am here. That's true. If I'm on vacation, I'll get, the thing that sucks is this is what happens most of the time. I'll go on vacation. I'll get three-fourths through a book.

And then I get home and just like, don't finish it. Yeah, I get into the rhythm of being home again. And I have my game station again, you know, all that stuff. And I read on vacation too. And it feels good on vacation. I think the best, I think in my brain, it's because like when I, if I try to read at home in my like daily life, there's always in the back of my mind, it's like there's something more important I should be doing right now. But on vacation, it's like, eh. Let me read a little. Yeah. And at home, it's like, why do I need to be nourishing my mind, you know? But I mean, the last, I want to say like the last book I finished, finish, finish, because I've started a bunch. The King's Quest. But then haven't, it, it was a like, a year and a half ago. Is it the one that we had in the drawer in the Jesus video?

The Judas Sketch? No, that's from a series my buddy really likes, who the author did write the book that I did make all this tress of the Emerald Sea, I believe it's called, by Brandon Sanderson. That's right, Brandon Sanderson. Really good one-off, really fun little adventure, swashbuckling, good time. And I was, okay, you brought that book. to set that day.

And you were like, oh, we can just throw it in the... The way of kings. Way of kings. And you put in the drawers like an Easter egg. And I was genuinely surprised it, because I didn't know that book. The response, yeah. The comments. I was like, well, I didn't know how many of you guys were little bookworms.

Jeez. He's been described to me as just kind of like the next great in like fantasy writing. You know, you have like, depending on your opinions of people, right? you know, you hear, for the norms like us, like it's Tolkien, George R. Martin. J.J. Simmons. J.J. Simmons. But, like, this is, like, another, like, he not only writes well and writes very interesting stories, but he constantly, he's a book machine.

He's pumping them out. And it's not because he feels like he needs to. He just legitimately loves writing. So he's writing all the time. I will say, like, when we were working on the book, nothing felt better than, like, when we would get on a flow and we would, like, pump out, like, 40 pages. Like, that felt good. And now we have a grok to do it for us. Yes, we do.

That's a joke for everyone listening that can't read our facial expressions. Yeah, I could, we will not be using grok or anything to write. No, but I really do like the idea of, in the next book we write, having, like, a third guy. that, you know, he's a friend of ours. He's a very good writer. And he helps us with this book because we think he's funny. But he doesn't want people to know his last name or his face. And his name is Al.

Like, like, Al. So on the cover, it's like, written, like, fully with the help of Al. And it just looks like it says AI. Just so it looks like it says AI. Written full, written with the help of Al. Yeah. I think we should do that. Well, let's see how to, I could, honest.

I mean, the funny part. is, is like, if you get blowback, then it's like, oh, but like, the truth is, but there's some there's some instances where the blowback, they think we're doing a cover-ups. It goes so far over that the context never gets, you know, truly understood. I mean, it's like, aren't those the guys that wrote an AI book? Yeah, exactly. No, it was our friend Al. It was a joke.

It was a GI-Jane joke, you know? That would be us. I don't know what he, I don't know what he mouths at that. He yells and you can't really hear him at that part. And he goes, uh, what a fucking. Well, Will Smith at the time, I remember the footage. It's iconic. He's sitting there in the stands and you can barely tell what he's saying.

And then the camera cuts to him. I thought he was joking. And he's licking on a big, you know, one of those giant lollipops with the rainbow swirl. Yeah. Yeah. But it was a funny gag. But real quick, you were talking about books, reading, intermissions. I'm working my way backwards.

The Second Amendment. Were we talking about that? Because... Hold on. What were we talking about? Because I had a point. I'm talking about Tom Hanks, playing captains. Oh, that was way back.

I know. Well, he plays a captain in Green Mile, too. Just a different type of captain. So you're going back to, like, the Avengers, but with Captain Sully and Captain Phillips conversation. I mean, it would be cool if there was, like, if they started expanding on the Captain Phillips universe, and made a sequel.

I mean, I want to know what he's up to now. It's the most boring fucking sequel. It's like, it's just him like he's retired now. He's at home.

It's just him at home. About the first time of him watching Tom Hanks' Captain Phillips and then himself getting flashbacks to what really happened. But it just shows scenes from Captain Phillips again.

That would be like the idea of a sequel where it's the character like remembering what happened the first time and it's just that again, I love that. But speaking of remembering things, I remember now. We were talking about books. We were talking about books. And you were talking about the, you know, the next great fantasy writer. Well, I might be sitting next to one because episode 100, uh, oh yeah. Yeah, there's a little something we've been teasing.

The underwater pyramid. That's right. We're finally going to get to hear and see the underwater pyramid. And it does exist. I was at Ryan's house and I looked at your bookshelf and what did I see? It's sitting right there. It's right there. I'm going to bring it.

And I got to bring it in a very protective casing because it's history. Can I scan all the pages if you want? So we could like maybe put it on Patreon or? Ooh, I think even just like a read-along where like the page. where it shows it on like, that would be great. Yeah. What was, what was our plan for, uh,

illustrations if we wanted to do like illustrations of each chapter? Was it just me trying, just doing new art? What if, dude, what if we sold this? I thought of what a pyramid? For a thousand dollars.

With a signature two thousand. I, I'm speaking my language. Hey! I'm seeing green, brother. Money, money, money. Cha-ching. Ads.

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CBC News. Ladies and everyone else I specifically started with ladies Because of course Ladies might want to leave the room for this next part Lady Oh yeah This is uh

This is where things are about to get a little Juicy A little R rated We're about to talk about something That we brought up last episode Yeah it's a little something called The Goon Cube This was if you didn't see episode 98

Ryan, we'll do a quick recap, okay? Ryan organically was fed an ad on TikTok for a goon cube. And you showed this to me. And the second, well, I heard you like watching it. I was like, send that to me right now. Was I showing it to? No, no, it was a secret from Luke at first. Because we were getting it for him.

I think I laughed and you were hearing like, you were hearing, because it was. I heard it. You were instantly like, send that to me. Because I was sitting at my desk. There's so like life that sparked behind your eyes. Yeah, it's like the most life you've, like my dark circles went away immediately. Oh my God. I looked five years younger.

But basically it was the line of the hardest part I'll be choosing what to goon to. Like when I heard that, I was like, send me that right now. So you guys might be, you know, if you're a visual watcher, audio listeners, you unfortunately are going to have to go take a little looksy poo at the YouTube version of the podcast. because if you feast your eyes upon the screen, you can see that there's a Goon Cube on the center table. That's right. That we usually have fine decoration.

Each episode we try to decorate it in a different fashion. Right. And last episode, I had ordered the Goon Cube, and it hadn't arrived yet. But between recording 98 and 99, guess what, baby, the Goon Cube has landed. I had some time to mess around with it I spent some time with it

If you catch my drift And I got some words Okay The way I went into this you might be thinking Oh he's gonna sing Uh nothing but he's gonna sing praises Of the Goon Cube What's the first thing you notice about it Ryan?

Very tiny It's very small And when I received the package And I took the box out I went This can't be right I could have sworn That Goon Cube was gonna be like

Dude, I thought it was gonna be like this bit. I was gonna put it in my palm. Yeah, it was gonna be something like that. Because like, you know, if you're, if you're gonna goon, you know, what is, what is this? A goon cube for ants? Like, do I have to have those fucking glasses

that like, like I'm sitting right here? Woo! The fucking ones that like, they would have in like, I don't know, a movie like Atlanta. Or it's like, they just like, yeah. Yeah, honestly.

Like, I don't know how one is supposed to goon this. It's not, it's, it's, it's certainly not big enough for me to focus on any detail while I'm gooning. Right. And at that point, it's like, I might as well just be using my goon binders. I might as well just be looking at my own penis to goon, which normally, you know, is not very big, but compared to this thing, you know, it's, it's nearing the same size. Yeah, but basically, if you guys, if you look, Luke, can you zoom in on that, uh, Goon Cube? Also, when we introduce it. basically Also right now

But if you already had a zoomed in, zoom in more Get it Get it as close as you can With everyone could see The full cubes Luke that's obviously

A sarcastic zoom that's blurry You can't see anything Zoom out Like that, that's good That's a nice one That takes most of the screen up But You could see right now

There's no gooning material It's specifically It's the gif The Nana Nana Boo Boo Boo Which could be someone's depending on you know you know what's the what's rule 34 right if it exists there's point of it that's right i hate that you and i both know that like word for word i hate that we didn't even have a different way of saying it no because i mean too we grew up in like 2010's internet

we did we know what's up right yeah we do our penises yeah yeah gooning oh yeah i guess you don't have to have a hard penis you could do you could you could goon with a soft penis I guess If you want I'm sure I'm sure one day They're gonna write papers about this kind of stuff And this conversation We're gonna be in like

Some sort of doctorate study Right And paper Like someone will be literally like Getting their PhD writing their Their master's thesis on like Goonology Gounetics

And uh And uh And uh They'll like Gounetics They'll quote us as like a You know like a source of Theoretical Gounetics Theoretical Guneetics

Theoretical gunetics. Isn't that what Ninja Brian has it? I think so. I love gooning. I started it. I know. I do it all the time. You can be any age to go in.

Hey, check this out. Oh, dude, come on, man. We've had to see you in like two years. That's the first thing you do. Gooning so hard last night. Yeah, okay, I see. It's like him just butt-ass naked, like legs spread, ass spread.

Like, whoa! Like mouth just open and just... Fuck. Well, and he proved to us you can goon with a soft penis. Yeah. He wasn't hard than that one. I don't think he's able to do that. But basically the Goon Cube.

All right. Here's the thing. A, it's small. How many letters? So there's 26 letters. You use all 26 of them? I feel like with the amount of complaints we both have, you could reach 26. Probably.

I actually don't know how many letters of the alphabet I'm going to hit here. So I thought you were just asking how many letters exist. We got A. B, I thought it was going to be as simple as connecting this thing to my phone via an app or something. Or you thought it was going to be as simple as one, two, three. A, B, C. It wasn't as easy as that. No. Baby, you and me, do re me. It, uh, basically you turn it on and, uh, or I mean, it's supposed to turn you on. That's the, that's the whole point. But you know, you got to go to like your local router IP address, but it's not even yours.

It changes every time you turn it on. And it takes you to like this just HTML web page where you can upload GIFs. However, the problem is the gifts need to be a certain size. That makes sense. You know, it's like they have to be 240 by 240 and they need to be under a certain amount. And the amount of data, this little Goon Cube can hold. Which, first off, I just want to stop there because, hold on, Chief. Just this technology, I was lamenting to you outside earlier about this.

This technology is over a decade old of like, remember, like, they're still popular, but the picture frames where it's like put a USB stick or load pictures onto it and then by itself, it'll flip through them. Yeah. Why do you have to go to some HDC? TMO, why can't it just be something on here where it's like, load them in and then it just cycles through? Well, I mean, that's, that's actually going to lead to my next point as well. But the storage size.

Which is C, but I'm not, I'm not there. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not from C to shining C yet. I'm still on B. And B, I'll tell you something, dude. Gifts aren't normally like massive. You know, they're not huge files. Like you. I'm not huge.

True. Yeah. But that's besides the point. The storage size on this, on this little sucker is only 1.8 megabytes, which is... Or megabits for those confused. Yeah. And I'll tell you something. That's not a lot of gifts.

It's full right now with two gifts of you. Two gifts. What's the other one? Well, that's a surprise. Okay. but it's very frustrating that has such as and also like the server

like the storage is linked to like your your router or something and I'm like why can I not change the path and allow more more space to like a different designated whatever C is where it's about to be the most heinous okay because you might be like okay file size whatever size of the box

whatever the cube what was this advertiser as a goon cube. It says goon cube. Made by, gooners for gooning. That's right. In fact, I mean, the hardest part about this whole product in the first place was supposed to be choosing what to goon to. I mean, specifically, the hardest, it was set up so easy.

Not true. It was not an easy setup. So, lies. Lies on lies on lies. And a lie sandwich. It's a lie sandwich. It's a lie casserole. But the advertisement, uh, it came preloaded.

Remember? With the ultimate goon pack. Was, did it come preloaded with anything? No. It didn't come preloaded with anything. And I'm like, okay, well, maybe it's, uh, you know, maybe they, they just can't actually put it on the device. Uh, maybe they don't want to put it on the device because, you know, someone got this for their

grandson not realizing what gooning is and you know they don't want to sure uh but basically i spent quite a few minutes trying to find this uh this gooning material i had it plugged in i finally had it set up and i'm like where's the w faps i cannot find any of this guining material i go into the email nothing uh so then i go to their website and here's where it really pissed me off what do I see on the website do I see the word goon once no

isn't even called the goon cube no it's called a cube boobuks Q UB-O-O-O-X doesn't even make sense Q-B-B-B-UKUKs that's not GoonCube

so that was false advertising I go to the website it's got gifts of Pokemon and spirited away and I go that's not goon material I can't goon to that stuff well,

Pokemon, there are some things that I probably could but like what? Why? Literally there's no point going into that kind of thing right now.

You're derailing me. So I go and I I finally track down a part of the website that's like, if you bought this on TikTok, download your exclusive gift pack here.

Okay, okay. And I click it and I was like okay it opens a PDF and I was like a PDF yeah PDF

and uh that's not a GIF I know a PD and you and guess what you sure as hell can't put a PDF on there so what the hell is this PDF could you goon to a PDF absolutely

100% it just depends on what's what you know what is in the PDF but the PDF just had a download code just a very simple one how many steps

yeah so then I I had to go to a separate website now. I had to go to a GitHub repository, okay? Which that felt sketchy. And I was able to, it was password protected. I was able to enter the code. And then I see the repository of folders of GIFs. And I'm like, I couldn't see what they were yet.

I just see 240 by 240, you know, 80 by 80. I'm like oh shit And I and I can't You're going It's goon time I'm going yeah Fuck it It's gooning time

It's gooning hours It was about to be Gooning hours I made my girlfriend Leave the room I dimmed the lights I put on my Gwyneth Poucho candle

I put on a little A little music A little Bruno Mars Hmm It's good good good music Is you just want to be The comment on the Bruno Mars Yeah I just thought

That would impress you Oh okay I didn't know if you were going to continue if there was more. I will now. Um, and I download this, this, well, before I downloaded, I did, I did look at some of the file names. A lot of the file names were like, I mean, they're all dot, gift, but some of the file names are fully in Chinese. And I was like, I didn't even know you could have file names in Chinese. And it was, it felt a little sketchy. It felt a little sketchy. just all of it felt sketchy when when when do you get to see all this gooning material i download it

baby i download that zip hell yeah i unzip that shit and i start going one by one through the gifts huh what is this this is uh Pokemon this is neon cat this is uh you know uh Vincent Van Gogh Not like Pikachu wearing a thong. No. And not like Neoncat with its pussy out. Nope. Absolutely not. Just regular.

Because that's something that maybe we could goon to. 100%. But guess what? There's a lot of files. I keep going down. I keep going down. I keep going down. One by one.

I'm not seeing anything to goon to. There's like four or five folders, though. Don't worry. Don't worry. I keep going. I get to some anime stuff and I go, oh, hell yeah. Now we're entering the right territory.

Guess what? There is not a single thing after like 15 minutes of going through every single GIF in this fucking folder. There's not a single thing I can goon to. The closest thing is there's like an anime girl dancing, not scantily clad or anything. Just dancing. You don't even see your butt cheeks? You don't see your butt cheeks. You don't see your pussy hole. You see none of it, dude. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, there's no way. I must have downloaded the wrong gooning material. They're like, I rewatched the ad. I'm not, I sat there in my computer.

You sat there bewildered, sweating. I mean, you're on, in your fruit of the looms. You don't got to talk to the brand like that, dude. What? That's a nice brand. I'm trying to gate keep that brand, but I don't want it to blow up. Okay. But, yeah, I'm sitting there.

Where in your house flip-flops? They only made, they didn't make many of those, and the price of those is going to, they're going to go up now. It's a great movie. Are you talking? about the Japanese movie? I did. I turned it into that.

Originally it was just a pair of house slippers. I was thinking of Doctor House. Oh shit. Dude, Houseception right now. Yeah, that's houseception

because I'm wearing it's house within house within a house. Anyway, sorry. My girlfriend actually was still in the room. She was playing.

That's cheating. Well, it's not. Can't goon with your girlfriend in the room? I'm good of doing it quietly. She doesn't even know.

Well, usually I'm using my binder of goon material. So she thinks I'm like studying. She thinks I went back to school. With the page protecters and all that. Yep. You got to protect those pages. And the dividers. You got to organize them.

She doesn't, she actually doesn't know about Super Mega. She doesn't know about, I miss dividers, dude. I'm sorry. Off topic. Yeah, off topic real quick. Do you remember when kids had those like,

I love the colorful ones? Had the fancy colorful ones where you could put like a little slip into the see-through, like translucent pocket. And they had like red, yellow, green, blue, and then white. Sometimes you were just stuck there with the like the manila colored, just kind of like ones where you'd had they're just right just directly on them. Yeah. Some kids had some fancy-ass dividers.

Dude, some kids had fancy dividers that were like a step above the ones. Because the ones that you're talking about, the nicer ones, that's like the sheet would be like a manila sheet. But then the tab would be like a translucent. There's somewhere the whole thing is like a nice, Yes. That plastic foldery texture type thing. Yep.

Exactly. I don't even, I don't know what that is, but it's, it's something like that. A little off topic. A little off topic. But those are great for a goon binder.

I would suggest the ones that are fully plastic though, because you never know if things are going to get wet and wild. And you don't want to, I've messed up plenty of gooning binders that way. But, you know, I legitimately, I turned to my girlfriend.

I was like, there's nothing like I literally, I'm not kidding though. Like she watched me for like 20 minutes go like trying to find where this gooning stuff was. Matt, maybe the ad was correct. What do you mean? The hardest part will be finding what to goon to. Maybe it's not false advertising. Dude, they're, they probably have a genius thing. They're like, we want to sell this as like a gooning thing, but we don't want to like, you know, put actual like porn.

That's weird. Just be honest with them. Tell them the hardest thing about this product. The hardest part I'll be choosing what to goon to. It's like, yeah, because I can't find anything. And even if, even if you can't find, like, sexual things, like, you know, actual gooing material, it's still the hardest part if you're going through the material that came with it is choosing what to goon to because none of it's goonable. But, like, you put this up on a dresser or something.

Like, people aren't going to walk by and, like, be able to see it really. Like this this needs to be at least two to three times four times the size of what it is now for it to be some sort of like Decoration on someone's Mantle or Kitchen Island or some shit Yeah like I feel like Derek Zoolander right now when he when he when he finally sees the Derek Zoolander's center for kids who can read good What is this you said it earlier in the podcast? Center for Ants oh yeah First time I saw that part of the movie I died died laughing I died laughing but genuinely

I'm disappointed I'm disappointed at the size well I guess what goes around comes around I'm disappointed at the goon the lies the lies

I'm disappointed at the capacity to store gooning material you only put like two things on there right yeah and then I am into do something else I have to delete the other ones and guess what and upload something it does not upload a like 400 kilo-by file fast.

You got to watch that loaning bar go. It's just not it's not a goon cube. I wouldn't call it a goon cube. It is not even a good decorative cube. It's a cube of lies. It's, it is. We get sued.

Well, if we get sued, then in the discovery process, we're going to find out if when they said made by gooners, four guners is true. I mean, why don't access to his hard drives? I want to see what he's,

I want to see if he's, a gooner. What's he gooning to? Why don't we do what the American dream was set up for? We're disappointed in a product. Why don't we make it better and do it ourselves? We make a goon cube. We sell it to gooners everywhere. And it could be preloaded with gooning material. The first Gune Cube made by gooners for gooners because they this guy that made he can't claim it. Also I got to be honest, he didn't make the gun cube. You can find these on Alibaba for like eight bucks, which I found out after the fact. And I was like, how much did you

pay for it? I don't remember. I think it was a, I mean, it wasn't like 20 bucks or something. It was like 49, 50 maybe, like 50 bucks. Okay. But for me, that was a steal because it's the world's first cube made by gooners for gooners, preloaded with gooning material. I know it's not. It's not. So, but the hardest part will be finding what to goon to. So yeah, overall, I, I'm disappointed by the Goon Cube. And you actually, yesterday, you sent me another TikTok ad. And it infuriated me because basically not even a, not even a week after I received my Goon Cube. My first thought is I wish it was bigger.

You send me an ad. You want to go ahead and Luke? Should we roll a clip? If you make it bigger, we will buy it. All right. So we finally listened. Introducing the Q box 2.0. What the fuck is this?

Where am I supposed to put this thing? Nope. Nah. Bro, what am I doing? Okay, we get it. It's not exactly what you wanted. Yeah. So what was the point.

I actually don't understand what the point of that ad was. It's just advertising this piece of shit. By saying we have something in the works. But that other thing that was, the guy was, Complaint. By the way, that other GuneCube, if you noticed, had like a wooden kind of exterior. Also, who's going to complain about

that? It was big. It was a good. Like, that's exact. What they showed was the size of what a GuneCube should be. Why in the world, the guy in the ad was complaining going, where am I supposed to put this? And was legitimately putting it in places where you would put a GuneCube. Yeah, it

that guy pissed me off in that ad. Well, he did put it on his mouse pad for some reason. To straw man his point. And when he put what? He put it on top of his, like, his gaming PC. And I'm like, okay, dude, come on. But, uh, I got, I got excited at first that, yeah, oh, finally, you know, they listened. Our president has been answered, a bigger goon cube.

I was mad that they did this right after. I had, uh, bought this, but then they're like, uh, just kidding, no, we didn't make that. Don't feel, uh, don't feel as bad. I, yeah, I don't feel as bad. It's just, that is a, that's a goonable cube. and it pisses me off because this is I guess this is

this is a cool little trinket to put on your desk but gooning no it's not gooning hours with this thing so that's my final verdict and for those for those unfortunate

to be in our situation of not being able to goon but thankfully hopefully you didn't have to go through the turmoil of buying a goon cube and finding out for yourself you saw how long it took me to set it up before the podcast right

Here's some gooding material from the super mega fantasy factory Spank Bank. We're going to share that? Just two images. Okay, just two images. Yep. Only from Luke's folder, though. Is he cool with that? Well, we own the company, which means we own the Spank Bank.

If he could in the moment, I feel like the moment I mentioned his name, if he could, he could grab my head and just and it would smash and. absolutely if he if he I feel like well I feel like Luke has this type of specific rage inside him when we mentioned him on the podcast that he would one day all the sudden he's gonna get pissed at me for some Matt some Matt bullshit and uh my head's going to explode and he's gonna be like oh my god I did that with my mind or he's been yeah he's been that you know that that that that beast within has been tempered for so long you know it's he's He keeps it well hidden, but one day it just slips. And it's almost like if Cyclops from the X-Men were to, like, do this with his glasses.

But unintentionally so, Luke accidentally explodes your head in a fit of rage. I mean, that would honestly be horrifying. Not for me. Be like the scene in Fanforsick where Dr. Doom explodes everyone's heads. Show the clip, Luke.