supermegashow - The Jorts Episode | supermegashow - 076

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

 Ryan has a wonderful gift for Matthew. Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/1y1gs9ys #CashAppPod. As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.  Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/super Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's a pair of jorts. I know how much you've been complaining about how much, like how ridiculous it is that you don't have any pants that you like to wear. And you wanted to be a little more fashionable. Pants, not a shirt. Are these gonna look good on me? Which way is the camera?

Uh, to the left. Are these gonna look good on me? Should I put them on now? If you want. Watch, I'm gonna put them on and we'll be right back. Welcome back, everyone. It's like, it's just like before except Matthew was wearing the gift. I had so graciously pre-planned to give him just in case in the event I needed to apologize to him for something.

And I will say that the jorts do feel fantastic. I can let my legs breathe for a change. I mean, how many times on this show have you seen me wear shorts? Luke, go back through every episode and count the times I've worn shorts. I'm just kidding. You don't have to do that. I guess. Whatever. I guess what I was like, I guess it, you know, it wouldn't be so hard just to click on 300, well, only 70-something episodes. Yeah, 75 episodes. This is 76, so. It would probably take a smart man all of 10 minutes. Maybe a dumb man.

Maybe just like putting it on Luke, giving it like unrealistic expectations. to go through every single one, be like, no shorts there. Nope, he's wearing his long pants. Oh, those damn sweatpants again. Those damn gray sweatpants I just can't stop wearing. But they look good. Thanks. You know?

I wore them back home when I went to visit recently. And I don't know if I still want to keep wearing them just because the comments I got from family were like comments I wish I received in Los Angeles from like beautiful women on the street. But I received them from family instead. and that was something that kind of like, it struck my ego a bit. A compliment's a compliment at the end of the day. Like regardless, I mean, I mean, you want to look good not just for the people, you know,

that are strangers to you, but for the people that you hold dear and close, maybe their opinion is the one that matters most, Matthew. And you should be thinking about them, like these compliments, how, however, raunchy, I guess, is that an accurate description? Yeah, in the right direction. raunchy they may be, they're coming from a good place. They're coming from a place of love

and adoration. You know, they say a helping hand is a helping hand. Is that your dad saying? It's actually my stepmom came up with that one. But, you know, I think it works here. The help, the help from the helping hand is the compliment for my, my well-being mentally, my ego. And, uh, fuck it. I'm going to keep wearing those gray sweatpants. What? So, let's, let me guess after we it can't be now it's too soon now but when we take an ad break you're just going to be back in some sweatpants no no no no no no I don't mean this episode I mean in general okay you know you scared me no I'm gonna go I'm gonna wear the jorts don't worry because this is the jorts episode this is the episode where Matt wears jorts and and for the

audio listeners we're just going to mention jorts a lot so it's still the jorts you'll still hear the word jorts and more more than you've heard it in past episodes of the podcast I can promise you that. Jorts, Jords, Jords, Jords, Jorts, Jords, really just sealing the deal on that one, just in case anyone wanted to be a smart ass. They didn't talk about Jorts one more time. Well, we just want to make sure that the Jorts word count is up in the highest in this video, because it would be a shame if we got in a conversation previously about Jorts in a podcast, and somehow that exceeded the, this word limit. So I'm just Jorts, Jords, Jords, just making sure. Because nowadays, you know, people can go and, you know, the little AI

transcripts and word count how many times we say a word in a video and you know they might go back to some old ones Luke actually go back through every single episode including super mega cast and see if there's any other episodes where we said jorts more than the number that's in this episode so once you finish this one do that and then come back to this point in the podcast and put that number in can you create like a hand drawn yet 3D looking effect uh that's a counter for every time George's happened. There's like a fun little, like make it look like kind of like into the Spiderverse or something. Oh, yeah. And you're not allowed to just do zero through nine and then pair the numbers together when it hits like 10, 11, 12 and you need to actually do all

the numbers. So like however many times George, George, George it is, you need to draw that many 3D numbers. The funny thing is, I mean, it's not going to happen just because one, that that actually would just make it so the episode wouldn't come out on time. Well, maybe if you're a bad artist, True. You know, maybe if drawing... Or a bad friend. I was going to say bad sport. I like that a lot more.

It just puts the pressure on Luke. If you're a bad friend, maybe, you know, wanting your friend's show to fail. Maybe if you were a good friend, you'd want us to succeed. And that means that maybe sometimes doing the impossible. Like, we see a lot of people doing sports movies. Like The Invincible with Mark Wall

where he joins a football team as a nobody, Bronx type of guy. Yeah. You could have just made that up, and I would have, I wouldn't know. I think that's the right one. It sounds like a real movie, though. I got to play football? What? Or the rookie.

That's a baseball one. Okay. I forget. That's an old one that I only saw as a kid, but I can't even remember much about it. There's an older guy. Okay. And maybe he is, if I were to guess, because I don't remember much about it. He is either training a rookie or he himself as an older ex-baseball player is coming back into a new season or something as a rookie, but he's old or something.

That's like the plot of Eastbound and Down. Have you ever seen The Slugger? No. It's a baseball movie. Kicking and Screaming? I have seen kicking and screaming. That's a baseball movie. Wait, radio?

No, no, kicking and screaming is the soccer movie. I know. I fooled you. Fool you once. The one with Napoleon Bonaparte. No, Napoleon Dynamite guy. Josh Heater? Close.

Really close. Heather? No, no, no. You got the last name right. Josh. John. Yes. Hey.

It was a Jay. It was a Jay. You were very close. He's in it. He is in it. Is he? Are you thinking of bench warmers? Yeah.

That's a baseball movie. I thought you were talking about kicking and screaming. No, no, no. I went, because I went, I was trying to think of a baseball movie that's like the equivalent comedy realm. And I would, I would say bench warmers is there. I would love to watch bench warmers again with you for Uncle Sleepover. Do you, you know, I believe your movie is next.

Oh, you're right. There's so, there, I actually have a little, a little, a listy poo over, uh, on my, uh, phone device. Really? And, uh, oh yeah. And, uh, there's like a lot where it's like, there's the top. There's like some, like, throwways where it's just, just like, eh, maybe if, you know, we get through all the big ones, but there's some ones

where it's like, I don't know which one to go with first, because I think that they're all, like, great for it. Unfortunately, I couldn't get one to work. I'm, I'm going to slowly try to figure out a way to get it to work was Crodman Dune. I kind of have most of the episodes, but I want to make sure that, like, it's, it's, it's, because I have the, like, we have the extended cut. we don't have the how it was released on TV and I want to see how it was released on TV. You don't want any of that extended hocus pocus bullshit.

No, I want it to be a time capsule of what I watched myself when I was a wee lad. Probably shouldn't have been watching it at that young age. Oh, yeah, absolutely not. With the biclops, the bisexual cyclops. Hey, that's hilarious. Does he have one eye still? Yes. And they go, why are you called the biclops?

And he's like, I'm bisexual. Exactly. Really? Yep. Okay, I'm going to like this. He has a hot tub and he's, from what I remember. remember he's just he's a horn dog for men and women oh yeah my favorite mention of bisexuality in media is in uh the good guys or the other guys with mark walberg and uh will feral yes and there's

that one like guy that works at the CIA and every person he meets you know he's like I'm doing good my son's bisexual and he randomly brings it up and you know when you explain apart from a movie that made you laugh really hard but then when you explain it is just not funny no but I but also you were referencing that it was your favorite moment that someone was being recognized in a in a movie as bisexual not only because that like that's cool to be rec like that's cool for bisexuals to be recognized but it's also cool because a dad was so proud in some way maybe I can't maybe he was saying it like he yeah I don't think he was actually I think he was I haven't seen the movie so he was like my son's fucking bisexual like it was

it like that no it was more like he uh he's really trying to come to terms with it but he's not but he hasn't come to terms with it I think so. He's not like happy or proud or... To be honest, I saw the movie when I was in high school. You haven't seen it since? I haven't seen it since. I think it's...

The beginning's funny, though. I saw it once in theaters, and then I did see it like a few years afterwards. And when I saw it a few years afterwards, it did hold up. So I'd like to wonder if, like, I saw it now. Because, you know, your taste and shit changes, like, sometimes every couple of years, I feel. So maybe I wouldn't find it funny anymore. It is always a bit of a bummer to me. me when we watch a movie on Uncle Sleepover that I loved as a as a young lad like a little man and

yep exactly and then I go back and watch it and it just doesn't hit the same it's just kind of like boring yeah like it's not like all the I guess like when you're a kid like all the goofy faces that the Wayne's brother like the YouTube faces that kind of holds you through like you're like oh did he just do that to me yeah exactly that's crazy I mean we weren't babies when we watched this at the same time. We were, we were probably like middle school.

I never saw it, dude. Did you never see it? No, I thought you were doing a bit about watching that when we were little kids. I saw it. My parents would never let me watch little man. You know, those Wayans brothers, they are absolutely evil. Whoa, dude.

Because of their crass comedy. What about the, the scary movies, one in one and two? I couldn't watch those either. With the, how about What's a The Wayans show I couldn't watch the Wayans brothers

Is that what it was called? It was too crass And hey mama look at me now Let's go to ads Real quick Yeah we'll talk about this Go to ads Dude

Like serious favorite game fully locked in. That's where Prime comes in. Whether you're grinding through new releases or checking out game trailers, Prime has it covered because whatever you're into, it's on Prime. Amazon Prime has more than just fast delivery, although getting new gaming gear delivered in a day or two is pretty sweet. With Prime Video and Amazon Music, it's possible to stream all the favorite gameplay, dive into exclusive gaming content, or just vibe to an epic playlist during a session. So whether you're gearing up for a new launch, catching the latest gaming docs or getting new accessories delivered fast,

Prime makes sure everything needed is right there to stay ahead of the game. Whatever you're into, from streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to get more out of whatever you're into. Amazon.com slash Prime. seen any new movies or TV shows lately Matthew I just finished Ozark yeah that was my reaction what was that smacking sound for the audio listeners

that was you making like a poggers face but better than better than the poggers face that was like a Ryan McGee it's okay on our channel there's a video titled milk.m p.4 if you watch that it's the same face that's like a two-second video it's a great video yeah it's a great video

I liked the ending quite a bit I didn't see it coming but like overall you know I remember before you had seen the finale I asked you like what had what it was because I'm hoping that you didn't get the ending spoiled for you

before you saw it but you knew just being within the fan base that generally that people liked it and that it was at least a decent ending and it wasn't like crap or like went off the deep end somehow. So now that you've actually seen it as an ending, how does it hold up to like other endings?

Like I haven't seen it, but like good shows like The Sopranos, a classic, one that I have seen Breaking Bad, like how does it hold up even though there's some recency bias there? Like what is your general opinion overall and then how does it hold up to the other ones? Well, first, you guys can go ahead and check the Breaking Bad thing off the bingo board for episode 76. second, I really Do you bring it up every episode? That's what people accuse us of. They say that we bring up Breaking Bad

every single episode. I'm sorry it's an iconic television show. Sorry, triggered much. I'm sorry that Walter White upsets you, but basically I thought I liked the ending. I wouldn't rank it up there with like

best endings to a TV show and I could see why some people in the Ozark fan base did not like it. There's some haters out there. When I looked it up, I saw some haters on Reddit. There's always haters. Always haters on Reddit. And, you know, I liked it for a specific reason, but I can't really say because of spoilers,

even vaguely because of spoilers. But I think they did something different with it that was not what I expected, how it would end. And I remember, much like Sopranos, It ended, and I was like... Oh, that's it? That's that, like, when the credits appear. Oh, shit. I will say, like, that aspect I have found in movies

when a movie ends like that, a lot of the times it's cheap, but there's a lot of movies or TV shows that I can't speak, because that's the ending. That end like that, that I actually, like, I'll come out of it thinking better of the movie because it ends on like a hot, like a, oh my goodness, what? but then upon like looking back I'm like I don't know

do you feel like it was like mainly like a like with Sopranos there's that grand debate do you think there's a grand debate with this ending in the same way Not in the same way I mean I'd have to I'd have to look it up and also spoil it

Sopranos I'm not going to spoil but I love the way Sopranos ended and a lot of people obviously didn't, but I think Sopranos is a... He was all a dream. He goes, sits up in bed. He's wearing like a sleeping

cap. Yo, Carmella. Wake up. I sit the craziest dream. And a sleeping gown. Tone. Get back to bed, tone. I wish, dude. That would have been fantastic. He works at like a food mart or something. Oh, fuck. He's a manager.

I like, well, there's the, you know, they kind of do that in the last Twilight movie, to a degree. But I will say that sequence is, while I was watching it in theaters and maybe you had the same reaction. I remember just being like, oh, me too. They're like ripping people's heads off and shit. Oh my God, that character died and that one? And then all of a sudden it's just like, no, it was all, it just it. It was, they were imagining it. Now the real thing happens.

And I was like, okay. Oh, so they didn't actually commit. to any of that crazy shit that just happened. Okay. Well, it made it exciting. Yeah, for a brief moment. Sorry for the Breaking Dawn Part 2 spoilers, guys.

I know that that's... I know there's people that exist that haven't seen it. And there's going... Oh, fuck. Really, guys? Really? Oh, so you won't spoil the end of Sopranos, but you'll spoil the end of Breaking Dawn Part 2?

I see how it is. And if you don't watch it, if you start complaining more, we'll spoil the end of Harry, Potter. Yeah. Ron Wiesley's Voldemort. Legitimately, I don't think we can keep that in. People are going to get too upset.

True. Here, I'll get a point for us to come back in. Sopranos, you know, made a lot of people mad. I really liked the way it ended because it reflected something from a prior episode in the season. And you should give it a watch. I think may need to rewatch it. But if my good buddy rewatched it, it would give me something to talk about with my good buddy.

How many seasons is Sopranos? Six. And how many episodes is it like a 12-ish or like, it does it go up to like 20? No, 20s is like animated. Okay, I know that there's like 80-something episodes of Sopranos. Okay. So, and the final season is split into two halves and it's like longer. But yeah, it's, it's dope.

I didn't really like the ending too much of I don't want to say I didn't like it because I did like it But it's just Ozark or Sopranos. Better call Saul I It fell it felt it Without spoiling anything

Yeah it fell short of I guess my expectations And maybe that's my fault for It's just with How the show had been And how you know the writers have have done things in the past i was expecting something a little more uh of the ilk i think it i agree because i guess my interpretation or like my way of like putting it would be kind of like uh it it it like it oddly felt too complete thematically like it was

too like oh of course this happens and you know it just felt too like i i don't know how to say like not not um it's hard to talk about it without spoiling it but the regard i guess generally it felt like things not worked out perfectly but in the sense of the themes it felt like for the sake of the theme of the show things worked out to be very movie like yeah and I feel like it was almost like, without spoiling it, I know what I said made probably no sense, but I'm trying also to be wary. It kind of felt like you have a delicious, delicious dinner, and they bring dessert out. And, you know, it's, it's just like some vanilla ice cream.

You know, it's not bad, but it's just not really, you know, it completes the meal. It felt too clean of an ending for the type of show it was. And that was another show, honestly, where when it cut to the credits, I also was like, oh. I was like, okay, I'm, like, satisfied. Let me digest it. With, like, everything that went on and everything that was set up and how things wrapped up. I, like, it does kind of, it has, like, the, the story wraps up. And it does have its, its main point comes across.

It just, as you've discussed and I discuss, it just, as I say, it's not like things work. out perfectly and it's a good ending. It's just that things work out too, it's too clean of an ending. Saul and Gus get married. It's, it's, uh, yeah, I agree. It's almost, it's almost like they played it so safe. Yeah, that's, yeah, exactly. That's the, that's the best way to do it. I mean, that's the best way to explain it. Not the best way to do a show. Uh, still great. Yeah, I, yeah, I still enjoy it. Um, and on a second watch, I think I liked it a little more. Uh, But this one's going to ruffle some feathers. I thought the ending to Lost was fucking awesome.

I haven't seen Lost. I loved the ending to Lost. And I watched it live the night it aired on television. So maybe it's biased from the pure emotion I felt. I cried when I watched it on the TV. When the polar bear dies. It eats the smoke monster. And, yeah.

I liked the ending quite a lot. a bit. It's bad shit crazy though and it's kind of hard to follow. Well I mean the whole show Did you follow it like do you feel like maybe I did it now did you like uh as you were watching it follow along and would you say that maybe that were you like I guess first off were you invested in the community at the time like were you going on Reddit as the show was airing and stuff? No I was too young at the time but I was uh I did like I did like we had all the DVDs I didn't admittedly watch most of the fun. final season up to the finale. I just kind of watched the finale. Dude, it was a big

fucking deal. ABC was like, the final episode of Lost this Sunday. So they made sure that people were watching. It was like the Super Bowl. Yeah, and I had to watch it. And it was a, it divided the fan base really, really hard. I know. I liked it. I guess I could say it, I liked it a lot at the time because it had very heavy like Christianity themes to it. Because I think that J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindeloff are like big Christians. And at the time, I was in youth group and I was like, yeah, representation. And now that's not why I like it. I like it because it's kind of crazy.

But the Christianity stuff's cool too, I guess. You got to watch Lost. I suggest, I saw a comment where I suggested Lost and a fan watched it the whole thing. And they said they were so glad I suggested it. You guys should start listening to me more. Just saying. It'll blow their minds when they watch Kyle X, Y. That's a...

Wait, does he have a belly button? Wait, there's another one? How did they do that? Wait, there's another Kyle X, Y? There's a, there's a female Kyle X, Y. I don't think I watched far enough. Wait, is it a separate show? No, it's like the second season.

I think there was only two seasons. Dude, honestly, you might be the only other person I've ever met that knows what Kyle XY is. Y'all have to know, come on. Kyle X, Y? I thought it was dope. Luke, show some of Kyle X, Y on the screen, and also for the audio listeners, throw up a clip about them mentioning something about his belly button. One more thing you should see. No belly button.

Thank you. He doesn't have a belly button. He doesn't. Why? Where's his belly button? You know, something from an ad. There has to be something where you type it in, and he's like, why do you have no belly button? belly button.

Guys, you might want to see this. Is he an alien? Is he a robot? What is he? I actually don't remember. I don't... We can talk about Kyle X Y spoilers, I think. Well, we should do it, Uncle.

What if we just... The whole first season? The thing is, we'd be so bored. It's almost like... I don't know about that. I liked it. From what I remember. I was in, like, seventh grade, but I thought it was cool.

Because it's a melodrama at the end of the day. Like, it had this interesting sci-fi backing to it, but like, it was still... like wait you're in love with who you're pregnant yeah like shit like that where it's like who's dying in the hospital while i'm while i'm receiving an award you know like one of those shows it was uh but i don't know you're right like i that was uh what replaced uh american idol nights for my family for a time because we'd usually like watch american idol uh but when that wasn't on kyle x y came out to play. When American Idol's at bay,

Kyle X-Y comes out to play. You know what? My family got really into? Who wants to be a millionaire? No. It's a good show, dude. I don't doubt it. Okay, deadliest catch?

Nope. Absolutely not. Jeff Corwin. You know, my dad's allergic to shellfish, so no. Yeah, that's not funny a joke about. Heroes. Foster's... Heroes.

Yeah. Remember heroes? That's the one. I never watched it, but it has Hayden Penitier. Come on. Come on. Come on. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm really sorry. Penitier. I don't know how to pronounce the name correctly. Pantheir? Penitier. I have no clue. Penitieri.

But her. Yeah. I haven't seen her in much recently. I think she just like models now, I think. Last time I saw her was in a shampoo commercial. Ooh. Okay. Where she's like,

you know the ones where like the hair is just like all all plump and beautiful was this like recent or was this no this wasn't recently i mean this was like years ago i'm i'm sure she's doing fine yeah and she probably has kids now and you know she she made she got that bag when she was younger and now i mean she's still young but she could still be actively doing things and it's and she's going to watch this and go or like maybe her kid is a fan and like mom look what they said about you and she's going to go oh well that makes me feel really bad about myself I'm sorry. I mean, and she has bigger connects than we do.

She doesn't know Markiplier. So if you press her buttons, that's true. She doesn't know market plier. So if she presses our buttons, yeah, just going to leave that one there, Hayden. You know, that's, uh, balls in your court now. Not Hayden Christensen, just in case he only sees that clip and sees you just say Hayden. True. True. Absolutely true.

Because, you know, it's not a sexist thing. Just he's a cooler Hayden. And it's not because we're dudes. It's not because he's handsome. And I think that, like, if he were to be, if there were to be a third member of Super Mega, then he would be the, like, perfect encapsulation of what that third member would and could be. Hold on.

This is not something we've talked about. You and I, I thought, were pretty clear on the same page. It's Bill Maher. I was only kind of telling you that so I could get a foot in the door with this What the Are you fucking kidding me, dude? Do you not like Bill Maher as much as I do?

Bill Maher's an asshole And I think he's... Oh, fuck off, dude I think he's abhorrent. I know you defend him all the time And you love watching him, but... You're fucking with me right now. I mean, you went to go see him live.

I know. With a group. Here's a picture. You took a party bus. It's more a... clock baby yeah i took the the bill mar uh party bus you took a hummer limousine bill was was on there he was getting wasted with me and a bunch of other high school he was out of the he was out of the sunroof yeah he was going oh like it's Vegas but it was Hollywood so it was really dark

yeah oh bill just silent alley just echoing oh oh get sir get in the get back in the vehicle the driver has to pull over to reprimand him bill if you ever need uh two panelists for real time with bill mar you know where to find us ian and anthony from smosh they get contacted like yeah uh yeah is this is this ian yeah we heard that you and anthony wanted to be panelists on bill marr you think they'd say yes no but that's like anthony's whole thing he does like bill mar style content just not for not for like neoliberal 50 year olds he does still do the interview i guess he does well bill what does bill mar do i guess he is a late night talk show that comedian like a political

don't get it twisted comedian i i i mean he is i mean i can't i can't just you know call him not a comedian just because i don't particularly like his flavor of comedy I just, I think I, I did, there was a time where I, like, and there's, of course, always, like, that rare moment where, you know, you find it funny, but just legitimately, like, punching down is kind of a, which is what Bill Maher loves to do. Yeah. I mean, it's your favorite thing about him. Listen, if you're going to sign that says so. If you're going to punch down, at least make it funny. See, he doesn't, he fails to do that.

and it's just... But it's like the punching down... It's not only that it's just punching down. It's punching down with malice to an already, like, group that... Like with bitter malice. Yes. You know?

It's like... It's like he's tasted some sour grapes in his day. It's not like, I'm taking the shit out of everyone for fun! It's like, I'm taking the shit out of people that I have a fucking gripe with, and I'm using my voice to make sure they know that they're stupid and I hate them, and everyone should think that

that they're stupid and that people should hate them as well. Type a type beat. Bilmar type beat. That's definitely a Bill Mar type beat. Man, I would love a Bill Mar type beat to wrap over. Producers out there, when you search, you know, you can search Kendrick type beat, Drake type beat, get a bazillion fucking results. I don't see any Bill Ma type beats out there.

I will say random side note, I remember one of the, a time I laughed really, really hard was I can't remember who came up with the idea. but uh like it was uh daniel at some point and i can't remember if you were there or i just remember that it was like what if political commentators or political figures were like Pokemon characters and like they only said like their last names and there was there was one with mar that he did specifically that i can't recreate because it was it's it's a it was solely dangerous it's a hard voice to do yeah but uh it was a it made me it made me laugh Made you chortle with laughter. Oh, yeah.

Very harsh. Mar! And then he'd, like, crook his head back very sharply. You nailed it, honestly. It was classic. That wasn't bad. Then he, you know, there was also the Pelosi, Pelosi, you know, every, every political person was a, was a Pokemon. That sounds like, this sounds like it would be like a great South Park bit.

Well, they'd have to get my permission. Yeah, you guys hear that? Matt and Paramount, and Paramount as well. They'd have to give you $1.5 billion for that idea. And not only Paramount, but the president of the United States. He'd have to approve it? Yeah. Well, as in like, not like I'd have to go to him for approval.

He'd have to come to me. Ryan, you got to give him this idea. Come on, please. They need it. South Park, they're doing. horrible in numbers. They called it a, what, a fourth rate show. Someone in his, was it someone on his team?

I saw that headline. I, who knows what? He said they were washed up. Washed up. I thought someone was like a fourth rate, like from the White House, there was like a statement. And I thought it said like fourth rate. Probably did.

Which is funny to say a day after they got $1.5 billion for 50 episodes. Careful, dude. I was just making sure that I was setting it down with confidence. You know, if you would spill that, it could have splashed over here onto my drawers. I wouldn't want to do that. Absolutely. That was a nice gift given to you in a time of apologetic kneeling, figurative kneeling, begging. Sure.

Yeah. Well, it's the Jorz episode. If you know me, you know I have a massive funco pop collection. I can't get enough of the guys. Recently, I really wanted to add some funcos to my collection. And my good friend and podcast co-host Ryan said, Matthew, they've got those at Box Lunch. I said, what?

Are you for real, Ryan? What is Box Lunch? Then Ryan goes, box lunch is a one-stop shop for apparel, home decor, and collectibles inspired by our favorite fandoms. If you're into anime, superheroes, sports, studio jibbley, video games, whatever you could think of, this spot has you covered. I got so excited, I started jumping for joy and screaming, yippee!

Then Ryan said, not only can you get your favorite merch, you can make an impact too. For every $10 you spend, box lunch will help donate one meal through their partnership with Feeding America. Over 10 years of giving, 250 million meals have been donated to food banks across the country. Oh yeah, they also have board games, trading cards, blind boxes, you know, et cetera, et cetera. I said, wow, Ryan, that's pretty crazy. But is there some kind of discount code that I could use? And he goes, yep, Matt. Use code super 30 at checkout for 30% off your entire purchase at boxlunch.com.

Not combinable with any other offer. Don't forget, that's code super 30 at boxlunch.com. Thanks, Ryan. These are jorts, those are jorts. These are my jorts. And then like we hire some like lighting people, get some like pyrotechnics involved. We can even like do it outside. Make sure it's in a desert so like nothing like burns or whatever.

And I feel like it could draw a crowd. Well, I'm saying that, yeah, but you understand the budget for that is, is, is exuberantly high like what you're describing. You have to hire, you have to get licenses, you have to hire professionals. You have to pay for the pyrotechnics,

which are not cheap. We'll be like a movie theater. We'll make it all back selling like burgers and sodas and stuff. We're not going to make that cost back. Okay, some French fries and maybe like a chili dog. Hot dog, actually.

Chili's a hell. Chili would be more expensive. That's sure. It's more ingredients. A lot of. more ingredients we'll sell plain hot dogs nothing on them no ketchup no mustard if you want it you can bring it from home just in one of those like styrofoam check like red and white checkered well no but no but this isn't happening because the cost of licensing take on me and then

you know getting like a live band to play it make it all back through hamburgers sodas french fries maybe we can cut back on the hot dogs actually yeah i think the hamburger pay extra for ketchup On the way there, we could stop at, like, McDonald's, get a bunch of ketchup and mustard packets. And people have to pay for salt and ketchup as well. Mm-hmm. Or they could do the ketchup and salt combo. Ooh. Can I get some ketchup and salt on my burger?

Imagine, like, YouTubers running a burger place, and they start charging, like, 50 cents for salt, 50 cents for ketchup, or 75 cents to add salt and ketchup. That's not a bad deal, though. You know, you're getting 50% off one of the items. Drew, Drew, in the grand scheme of things. See, if it was like 90 cents and you get both, it's like, okay, well, I'm getting 10% off. Would you, if your friend took you to a burger place that was set up like that, do you think you yourself, do you think just out of like, I guess I'm already in line and they have my order up, I'll move it along, would you just be like, would you just be like, would you just be like, would you? Would you pay for the ketchup and salt? Yes.

Unfortunately, I would because I love ketchup and I love salt. And, you know, I can't eat a damn. That's right. I can't eat a damn handburger without it. So if they put the gun to my head right there at the checkout and they're like, would you like ketchup? And I'm like, yes, please. And then I see them add it to my check. I'm going to be like, fucking shit.

I'm the guy that always gets fucking talked into the protection plan or the fucking upgrade. I went to Guitar Center over the weekend And I always say no Matthew No dude I went to Guitar Center over the weekend And I was buying an amp Because I got I got electric drums And I was buying an amp for them

And the guys like could I interest you in the You know in the protection There's there's 12 months or 24 And I was like no thanks I don't think I need the protection He's like no but just look here actually And he talked me into it And I did not want it

And I was like oh sure We'll go with it And it was expensive as fuck So I didn't mean to get so loud about that Oh, you're emotional. You're emotional. I feel like I got taken advantage of, and I'm mad, that I'm not man enough to fucking stand up and just say,

no, actually, I don't want the protection plan. I told you the first fucking time. So just fucking ring me up for the amp, and that's it. If you maybe went with the water drums, like a water bed, but water drums, instead of going with the high-priced electric drums, I sent you the link on Facebook Marketplace. drums filled with water

I told you those aren't for playing those are that collects rainwater seriously dude this is cheaper dude can you know how you know those like the big blue drums

that people use to collect rainwater we should that Walter White and Jesse Pinkman used to yeah the same like good good good

sorry I just got scared dude honestly we should fill them with rainwater and sell them on Facebook marketplace like rainwater for sale You don't get the drums with it

You just get the rainwater You can come and you got to bring something To get the rainwater Because we're not going to let you take the drums Who are we marketing this to People who want rainwater Yeah there's people in L.A. Tucker would be all over that shit

You know you would Oh free rain No Tucker not free No listen I'm thinking With company money Listen this could be good This could be good This is free rain

Tucker it says It says 50 cents per liter right there Looks like Tucker's about to have some free rain over this free rain, huh? As he already has the card in his hand. And then we have to give him a high five, you know, because that was good. I have to commend him on his, on his, on his

good little bit. Yeah, it's like, give my high five. Meanwhile, I know he just slipped the card out of my pocket, but because I'm too pussy to even say no to the protection plan, and he knows that. I'm not going to say anything to him taking the card out of my pocket, and I'm like, he's going to go get the rainwater. So was it just like you said no, and then

the guy went, now, sir. He went, sir. He went, sir. it really like it's not much added and it makes sure that you're not wasting your money in case you take it home and it's not working or something like that okay here's what I will say it was used it was an open box purchase it had some wear and tear on it okay it was a used amp I'm not making the kind of money Ryan to buy a brand new one so I got the used one and he suggested it because of that and he you know he's like you know this covers you for three years if uh you know if it blows or any Anything like that. We really recommend it for amps. How long is this, how long does, is it lifetime? No, it's three years. And also he, I will say, see, he did this bullshit where he struck up a repertoire with me

leading up to this where like, like the 10 minutes leading up to the checkout. He was so nice to me, dude. You thought you were making a new friend probably. I thought I was making a new friend. You're about to invite him over to your place. And then he pulls the fucking hypothetical gun, the metaphysical, metaphorical gun out of his But he didn't have a gun in these. No, no, no, he didn't.

The gun was when he turned the monitor to show me the price. And by the time he had turned the monitor, I was like, um, and he didn't tell me that I didn't actually look at the price. I was so nervous. I just went, okay, sure, yeah. And then I saw the price. And at that point, it was too late. I couldn't back out of it. You should have just reacted in the exact opposite.

Instead of like, like, just like shying away from it and not like, like acknowledging it, you should have, like, over-acknowledged it. I mean, like, do you think I'm a fucking dumbass? Huh? You're trying to swindle me? Trying to rip me off? Hey, this guy, pull out your phone, start filming him. This guy's trying to rip me off.

I'm on TikTok live. I thought we were friends. Come on, man. I wasn't just trying to upsell you. I was really, I thought I was making a friend. He flips it on me. Honestly, uh, another tactic could be, you know, I could try to negotiate the price of the protection plan,

which obviously he can't change and just keep bargaining, keep negotiating. Don't let my finger off the fucking trigger. Okay, I mean, it seems worth $40? Well, I can't adjust the price. I mean, this is corporate. I can't adjust the price of the protection plans. Okay, okay. why don't you just take it off the amp then to make up for it well i can't i can't do that either oh come

how about uh you uh i know that you can give some of those discounts to friends and family we talk we talk we're friends we're friends and certainly we might be as close as family at this point right flash the pistol that's in my uh in my belt in my belt loop just like the barrel sticking through the belt loop yep his first reaction he pulls one out of his pants and shoots me Yeah, a YouTuber slain and guitar center Hey, just remember You might come across a good guy with a gun one day

Yeah You do loo You know I wish that there was like a jingle for that And they'd play it on the news Every time a good guy with a gun Slays a bad guy with a gun Hey guys, it happened again

I got one Yep Good guy with a gun I mean I was running a stop sign And he was running from the police But I didn't know what he was running Why he was running from the police

So I shot him dead It was a hard shot too I was in a moving vehicle And I was outside of the vehicle Well okay Let me be honest I did have to stand up And go through the sunroof

To get Then I Then I Then I Got him right in the back of the head Head exploded like a watermelon Turns out he had You know

Turns out he actually wasn't out running from the police He was just jogging Camera pans out you're in all orange You're painted all orange No, you're in an orange jumpsuit But he He thought he was still a good guy with a gun You know

It's what it says on his jumpsuit Mm-hmm Look I Sir, we're going to need to get you another jumpsuit. You know it's against prison policy to write on your jumpsuit. No, come on. I'm getting put in solitary now. There's no guns in here.

Yeah, for now. What? Nope. I think they should give every prisoner one gun. I think that should be the rule in prison. I think everyone should get one gun. But they have to make their own bullets. Yes.

It has to be able to fire, too. Because, like, you know, you could probably craft a pretty good bullet, but I feel like, getting it to actually fire that's another thing they have to they have to make one of those guns that only can shoot once and then it's done that's how it should be though every like everyone in prison gets a gun and you only can shoot it you get just once and then I think that like at the same time randomly they should also open up all the gates in certain prisons mm randomly I like that so I don't know Look, all I'm going to say is if we don't start getting some kind of like a lot more burglaries, a lot more thugs, and I'm talking like people in pinstripes, people in like ski masks.

Skiers? I just think that's our best bet if we're going to have any sort of proof of superheroes. They're out there. They're still popular to this day. Shit, dude, you're absolutely right. If we let everyone in jail free, that's when we're... And give them a gun. That's when the superheroes are going to come out.

Maybe give them big bags of gold and jingling things that are, I don't know, like paintings and like an expensive voss made of diamond. And maybe a rare cat burglar's diamond in the shape of an eyeball. We're still trying to understand President Trump's decision to release all prisoners and give them a firearm. Handing them bags of gold. running a muck listen to superheroes we're going to get them out

one way or another we have to ID them they can't be flying around running a muck on my soil honestly as he's pissing my soil he would never do that

no we wouldn't yeah he would no we wouldn't you absolutely would not there's footage of it there's footage of it no there's not helicopter footage

it's AI of him whipping out his penis on it at a golf course and pissing That's what that was? Dude, that would be so fucking awesome, though. Drone footage of him just waking up. Whipping out his Willie and pissing on, like,

in probably one of the holes. Watching fucking, like, Lester Holt have to report on that? He's pissing in the hole because a guy he hates just putt it, and then he has to go grab it out of the hole. Oh! Mr. President! Oops. He cheats apparently.

Yeah, that's so they say. I've played golf with him, and I never saw. I mean, he always did this, he always did this thing, I will say, when I would play with him, that he would tap me on a shoulder, and I'd look away. And then there was another time where he went, look, hot dogs. And I looked up, because I was hungry at this point. I looked over, and there was like nothing. Like, there was a, there was a kind of a golf cart coming up.

And I thought, oh, maybe it's a food cart. But no, that was nothing. And by the time I looked, hole in one, apparently. Yeah, that actually, that same thing. You should have seen that swing. Very similar things have happened to me. Evick's got me rethinking things now. We should probably call up the Nelk boys and tell them.

Because they're not going to be happy. They golf with him every Sunday. Yeah, and you know what? Stiney out there on the fucking golf course. Fucking swinging some beautiful strokes. God. God love the Nelk boys. That's the new national anthem.

That's the name of it. Is Nelk like their last name? I don't know what that means. Are they like the Nelk brothers? I don't know what it stands for. I don't know what it means. I just know Ted Navision is apparently joining them. Oh, really?

That's what I heard, yeah. I heard he saw the Netton Yahoo interview, and it made an impact on him. So he wanted to join as a crew member, and they said, yeah. Do you want to spice things up? Yeah. Seems like a good addition, I guess. He knows where I live, actually. I don't want to carry this bit on anymore.

Ted Navision? He could kick my door down in the middle of the night He probably would And he has the, have you seen those thighs, dude? Fucking muscular, it's like Hulk shit Well, he shows him off Yeah, speaking of jorts Looks like we got a little copycat out here fashion-wise

And he cuts him real, real tight And then he, I mean, to be fair, He looks good in some jorts Oh, he looks fantastic There's absolutely no denying that But he could kick my door down So I don't want to continue with that You could, you could

purchase a firearm. It's funny you say that. I was practicing for the firearm safety certificate this weekend. And you could like nag him on into like a, you know, be like come to my house and see what happens, pussy. And I'm sitting right there by the door

just sitting right there with like a rifle in like a beach chair wearing like a big like plaid hunter's hat. I built my own like hunting stand out of pillows. It's a dark. gun

Thank you for the For changing it to a dark gun So you're not blowing Ted to vision's brains out Matthew You talked about shooting me in the head On your podcast This animosity Where's it coming from brother

That's what he sounds like right It's the jorts Ted It's the jorts Okay If he would just stop wearing jorts Would this animosity subside? Yeah totally Dissipate completely

sure yeah for the most part yeah even after the thanks the Thanksgiving hmm yeah probably for the best anyway let's uh I'll I'll bring it back so naked gun we haven't seen it what do you think we're going to think about it I think about it I think there's going to be some really funny parts and then a bunch of parts that I'm probably like eh, all right. But I think I'll come out of it being like,

hey, you know what, for a modern comedy, ain't too shabby. And knowing at the end of the day that not only is it, are we going to probably have a decent time watching it, albeit, you know, some probably unfunnier cringe bits, to know that at the end of the day, there was true love that was not only sparked but nurtured throughout the filming process,

between Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson. Now, that's not confirmed. What a cute couple. No, I agree. You know, cute as a button, but it's not confirmed that they're dating. It's not confirmed, but it's not not confirmed. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I see what you mean. True TMZ talk. Honestly, I'm excited to see it. We should see it this week. I'm down. I'm up. I'm up for it. I'm down in Chinatown.

Do you want to go to the theater in China, It's more expensive. No, yeah. Dude, have you ever been that gas station in Chinatown that's like $2 more expensive than every gas station in L.A.? No. You know what I'm talking about? No. It's the one that has like the Chinese roof over the pumps.

Well, I've never been. It's genuinely like you go there and gas is like $7.90 for some reason. Well, you're paying for the privilege of getting gas at such a beautiful establishment. Hey, you've seen this roof up here? Exactly. Wow. Is that real Chinese? Yeah, so.

I have never been. blown away. Well, there are two gas stations, actually, in my lifetime that have blown me away. One, the Obama gas station in South Carolina. Same. Crazy that it's in South Carolina. Columbia versus like two or two. Actually, I do want to say the person, the owner of crimes committed. Yeah, the owner of the Obama gas stations, I believe, was like indicted on fraud or something. I don't know the specifics. They set them up. They probably did. And then, uh, you won't be setting up any Obama gas stations anymore. And then the other one is, um,

Bentley's, Buckees. Bintleys? Yeah. A Buckees is crazy. Just because the first time you drive up to one, it's nuts, it's wild, it's, it's extreme. I, I, you go there just to fill, fill up your tank, but then you go in and

you go, you, you, you pretty much hike throughout the entirety of this football field's long of a store with different sections with doodads and gizmos galore with trinkets gadgets maybe trinkets and what's it's galore and whatcha m'collets thing of a jigs

they got plenty oh yeah but they could have more this is the start of the good song I mean it's from the Little Mermaid fucking fuck The spark that was lit inside me was of creative joy and passion was huge just now.

And you just went, you probably, I mean, before I'd extinguished it, you were probably like, oh my God, this is like some Lin-Manuel Miranda type shit. He changed it, by the way, to, it's Nelson now. Oh, not Onyx? No, Nelson Miranda. It's onyx now. Like the rock. One of the We pranked

My childhood friend Christian When we were freshman in college By changing his name on Facebook To be a name that like Sounds just real enough Where it sounds like he might be trying to sound cool You stole the one from Breaking Bad So it changed it from Christian to Flynn

And then we didn't know this But then he couldn't change it back for six months So didn't he just keep it Because he forgot about it I caught him in the process of changing mind of Murray, but I, you know, caught him. Like Eddie Murphy? Murray.

Like Eddie Murray? Yeah, just like Eddie Murray. And speaking of Eddie Murray, you guys are probably going, what the, what's the word of the week? This week's word of the week is, is there a drum roll right? There should be, Luke. Jorts. Now, Jorts is a noun. Okay.

Now, the meaning of this word jorts is the definition I'm about to read is shorts made of denim fabric. And to use it in a sentence, I'm wearing my jorts. Is that the sentence that they... No, their sentences turn all your jeans into jorts. Which gives you more context clues. Yeah. But I like kind of imagining someone hearing that word and just... What?

You know, we're kind of, you know, some people may say we're getting sloppy with the word of the wood, but we're just adding some spice. So, like, they're not all like these grotesque, almost non-existent old English words, you know? Exactly. We're doing our due diligence. You know, you guys were the ones complaining about, they took 10 minutes trying to pronounce this word. Okay, so we're making it easier for you. We're spoon feeding it now.

And now you're going to complain about this, huh? Well, you know what I'm not complaining about these jorts? they do look they look fucking fantastic and I'm so glad I decided to get them for you within the context of this bit I just don't want to take credit just in case you were happy enough

or you got those as a gift and I don't want to take full credit because they are your size they're not for me no you got these for me yes yeah exactly and if you look on screen right now

you'll actually see a list of two lists actually the people in the nicer fancier box those are people who cut their jeans into jorts and they wear them loud and proud. And in the smaller list, those are people that were too scared to cut their jeans into jorts and they still wear them just as regular blue jeans. Embarrassing. And actually in protest, a lot of them, not all of them, but a lot of them on that list in protest do opposite of jorts, where they'll cut off everything except for like

the legging part. Yeah, like below the neems. But the rest is just like whatever they have working with is just out there. Yeah. a lot of arrests call it brave call it weird you whatever you want to you know whatever your political motive or whatever you want to place onto it you know whatever how fucking awesome would it be if one day just like the oval office he just walks out in jorts it's a new thing i'm trying i call him jorts yep i created this i call him dorts Donald Trump Shorts I love the idea of him trying to claim

creation of Jorts Renaming them the dorts And Caroline Lever being like The President did create Jorts He's the one that originally came up with him Yes, that's true She's been a fan since day one Of us?

No Of the Donald Trump Of the Donald Meister You know, she could have That's like some shit they fucking What's his face John Oliver would say The Donald Meister!

Dude, I mean, Caroline Leavitt could be a, could have been a fan. I mean, she's younger than both of us. She is. Believe it or not. But I think our views, we would be put on some sort of like, like a, keep those boys away from me list. Make sure I'm never within the vicinity of those fucking funny brothers. I'm sick of, I'm sick of being put on those lists, man. No funny brothers.

It's like every other fucking day That's another establishment They go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Sir, you're a funny brother, aren't you? I take the sunglasses off, like, yeah. You're trying to... Well, we don't like you here. Meanwhile, I get it, I sneak by, like, perfectly fine

using those, like, what is it, Groucho Marx glasses? Oh, hey, John. How's it going? Like, I put on some doofy voice. No, but then you sit down at the bar and you look and there's, like, like a guy at the door that looks just like that. He's like, what are you talking about?

I'm already inside. See? We're funny. And, uh, end it now, Lou. Thank you.