supermegashow - The Naughty List | supermegashow - 094

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

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I just want to make sure that we're out of here at a decent time. Because I don't know, like, what time zone, like, when Santa comes to, like, California and stuff. And I just want to make sure that, like, I'm asleep in bed or whatever. Because I haven't even put milk and cookies out yet. Because milk would just spoil if I. I left him out early, so I just need to get home and make sure that. Because I'm keeping, like, the Santa Tracker's only so reliable, you know. Are you using the NORAD Santa Tracker?

I was using this, uh, CNN's or, uh, or a, um, BBC's, uh, Santa tracker. Well, I didn't know they, I didn't know they had those. Oh, yeah. Are they liable? Uh, as far as I can tell. I mean, it seems like they, they, they, they have different sources, you know? Yeah. I've used the Fox News one in the past, and I found it to be pretty reliable in terms of when Santa actually arrives. Yeah, but that's back when we lived in South Carolina, probably.

That's true. Yeah, no, I mean, California is different, and it's like, there's a lot, it's like a bit, like, think of how big California is. I was praying, dude. You really just started while I was praying? It's the, well, I, you didn't, you didn't, to be fair, you didn't warn me you were praying. I should have told you I was praying. That's my bad. I do apologize.

Can I finish real quick? Of course. All right, sorry. Ho, ho, ho, and Merry, ha, Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody. I'm not afraid to say it, and neither should you. Yeah. The woke mob is trying to take away Christmas. They've been trying to take it away. And guess what? It's still fucking here right now. Guess what? Where? Super mega.

But also if you celebrate any other holidays or if you don't even celebrate a holiday, you know, season's greetings to you. There you go. Being woke, dude. Yeah, they got you too. I just don't want to alienate probably over 50% of our. You think 50% of our audience celebrates Hanukkah? Well, not just Hanukkah, maybe Kwanza, maybe It's probably like 50% Christmas Maybe atheist Christmas Which is just regular Christmas without the religion

Yeah, it's X-Mis, right? Yeah Which I actually, when I was younger, I was told that X, X-X-X-Mus Oh, I see what you're doing there, dude, that's nice, that's nice, that's naughty. You're on the naughty list now. I better not be. Well, you might be, dude. you know he sees you when you're sleeping

he knows when you're awake and I sleep naked he's watching you man why the fuck do you do that I don't get naked at any point in the year I'm always wearing underwear even in the shower because I don't want Santa to see me naked I don't end up on that naughty list

dude when's elf two happening that's like the type of shit except elf two is R rated it's made for the adults that are now grown up that grew up with the original elf you know when he was running around that New York City Street Oh my God

He was really doing that Really? He was really He was really running in front of those taxis and shit He was acting a fool Will Ferrell The Man the Myth The Legend Okay so That wasn't some kind of crazy stunt double

That was Will Ferrell from kicking and screaming Yes Will Ferrell From Anchorman 2 And that one movie Get Hard with Kevin Smith no James

No Chris Rock No Kevin Hart You know Kevin Kevin James Kevin Hart They're all the same Kevin James is doing some I guess it's like movie marketing

He was He was role playing as a As an art teacher on TikTok for a little bit named Mr. Taylor Kevin James was And I think it was for a movie or something I like to imagine he just was like, I'm going to have some fun today. It's not for a movie or anything.

He's like, I'm just going to play pretend. Oh, the comments are always like, oh, dude, if this isn't for a movie, this is the most wholesome, chungis. Was it wholesome chungis? Yeah. I mean, you know, it's, it's nothing that's like, I can't think of a negative for it. You know, a lot of, just role play as an art teacher for, for marketing. It's, it's smart marketing.

you know maybe santa needs some help in the marketing department you know you think i feel like you know people are alienating christmas a little they're they're trying to turn it into into their christmas when christmas is for everyone well except for you know atheists yeah i mean even though they they still try to comment agnostics as well you don't don't forget them they it's not for them as well pussy atheists as i like to call yeah because they're like well i don't know if God exists. Who really knows? At least atheists have the fucking determination to go,

no, mm-mm. Likelihood, not. Where agnostics are like, you know, I guess I haven't thought about it enough. It's like, who's to say? You know, I don't have it within me to really make that kind of complex of an argument for either or.

I mean, I'm just a human that is limited by my brain's, you know, capabilities and if God exists it's probably something far beyond anything I can comprehend it's like okay pussy shut up you don't get Christmas oh my god look at all those lights that aren't on dude you hope holy you scared me because you looked forward and then jumped and we have a candle on the table which is blocked from view for me and uh there is like some some garland nearby and for my split second I was like I thought it caught on fire the way you looked at it and jumped. But how good of a podcast clip was that happened?

See, I thought you were thinking, like, there was a, there was a roach about, about, no, dude, it's not Halloween. It's Christmas. Yep, can you tell, well, for the, um, Luke, I hope you put some sort of jingling and jangling and like, oh, yeah, like, when we, when the podcast started after the intro and we said Christmas, or like, after my prayer, a little, some music day. Yeah, Christmas music. It would just help kind of, you know, hell, I mean, put it right here.

to just let people have something you know who him a gift are we going to talk about because I know we like to talk about it every year are we going to get out of the way though and talk about the trauma of SpongeBob's depiction of Santa Claus

and what that did to a young nation that's good into it so they portrayed Santa Claus as at first like a regular old St. Nick he's up in his sleigh he's going ho ho ho waving and then I don't know he starts getting a little more erratic he goes

at that point I'm like Oh well you know you're just being jolly Yeah right right And then it goes a step further Matt and do you want to do you want to show the audience And I'll describe it at the same time Do you want to show the audience if you remember What he did next?

I'll be honest my My brain has kind of blocked it out Because it's a trauma response Yeah I can do it And if you could describe it to the audience As I have it out Yeah you do But don't worry it's I don't have the beard

I don't even have I have some white hair The hat, though, and the, okay, all right, just, just do it. You know, after he goes, he's going crazy with the ho-ho-hoes, he grabs his head, and he starts spinning it around, going, oh, that's right. And he starts going nuts. And as a kid, that put me off. Because I was like, that's not Santa Claus, obviously. Because, you know, as a kid, I'm just thinking Santa Claus, it's that time of year. He's making his cameos in home alone.

You know, he's often like. I mean, he's busy. Yeah, he's, his agent has him fucking. fucking booked that time of year. He's in a Christmas story every year multiple times. He's got to show up. They reshoot it every year. Well, as a kid, you know, you're imagining, like when you're like a little little kid.

Right. For me, it's like, this is just happening. This is happening again. These are images that are happening. I remember when this happened the first time. Yeah, no, but the SpongeBob, uh, whoever was, was in the writer's room that day and decided to make that bastardization of Chris Crink. Sounds like a Tom Kenney thing.

It does sound like a Kenny thing, to be honest. See, I didn't even want to say him by name because I know he's a big... He watches our stuff. Well, he does play my favorite character in the Transformers franchise. Thugbot or something like that. Does he really? No, but it's he... Have you seen the clips of his Transformers?

Hold on. Oh, I thought that was like a dubbed joke And then anybody gonna know that, not me? Oh, I thought that was like a dubbed joke video. Is that really in the movie? Yeah. Written by Matt Watson and Ryan McGee. Yeah, guys, we got a cameo.

It's actually crazy. I mean, it's not surprising. It's a Michael Bay movie. Yeah. And Michael Bay, much like Quentin Tarantino, you know, he speaks a certain way. Well, sorry, let me get the name of this robot. Because I, you know, what's the name of the mudflap and skids

are the robots names I think he plays either mudflap or skids Yo yo yo What it is You know They gave him They gave him the names of like

You heard SpongeBob though I did I did It was like He's just doing SpongeBob right now Well actually every Tom Kinney thing I hear it a little bit And it's not because

Tom Kinney is like Doesn't have range I love Tom Kinney Like in Mr. show and stuff He's like Oh he has range He does Kind of like SpongeBob's

That shit shoots yards, if not meters. I would say, not three, but somewhere between two and three yards is what I've seen him do. What I'm saying is put plastic on your walls and the ceiling. Because also, if that gets on the walls, we'll learn that one the hard way. That shit does not come out easy. No. It does what the alien blood does in the alien movies, where it starts to kind of... But it's not like actual, it's not like, it doesn't burn through the wall.

But it does the paint When you wipe it off the wall The paint comes with it Yeah Yeah But this Decoration These decorations here

That you guys are seeing All around the set If you're watching it Instead of listening I bet I bet you guys are going OMG Christmas time is here

It's another It's another snowy meg episode And you know what I realized Earlier I was like Realize realize Realize realize Realize, real. Is that what you realized?

No, but I just did. Makes you think, huh? I got a lot to think about, especially about Luke. Anyway, he's just playing with you. He's playing with my heartstrings. But he doesn't, he just thinks it's goofs. He doesn't, he doesn't see that,

let's talk about this another time. You were about to, my emotions aren't goofs, but whatever. Yeah, so we were decorating right before this episode, and I looked at the side and I'm bringing this up because you you said the thing about the cockroach I'm like well it's not Halloween and I noticed that you had removed

the bat and I was like I like that we only removed the Halloween decoration to put up the Christmas decorations well I think it's it's honestly kind of depressing that we didn't even do Thanksgiving decorations we didn't have like a platter with a turkey like a real turkey

like we actually spent like all fucking morning and we have a muck bang throughout the podcast people would love that dude suck in the fucking meat off those bones Luke do not show this what are you doing you're jingling your bells

you know I'm s my balls sometimes it's got to be done I give you a good euphemism for it leap out when I said thank you Luke guys also you might be like the decorations look amazing

but why are you guys so dark and I'm not talking about in the sense of like ho-hum or emo I'm talking like guys you look in a lot little lit or unlit well that's because we're shooting a cray cray

sketch right now that's involving three shoot days two major well three all of them are going to be major shoot days it involves liquid that's all I'll say about that and hoses we don't see the hoses that's not plural for hose that Matt's trying out

he's talking about like a hose that carries like a rubber hose right yeah for the liquid albeit there are hose on set whenever we shoot just they kind of gather and watch and the sidelines. On set and outside of the set there are lights

something else to chew on. You know, another little tidbit. There's lights, but on set, you know what there is? There's camera. And action. And that's all that's all we got to say about that. But the reason I brought

that up is because Tucker are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful He's beautiful. Our cameraman, And our cinematographer and legally obligated to say friend and lighting guy. That's right. He did add that. You did add that. Yeah.

We got to start reading contracts to be like seriously. Yeah. We got to stop trusting friends. Basically, he took some of the lights out of the podcast set. Specifically the one that really is used to like light our faces. A big one right there. Especially me. It's a, you know, it's like.

a nighttime Christmas vibe. You know, I think we did a good job and getting it all Maybe he can make it more warm And by he, I mean Luke. See, the individual that goes by the pseudonym Luke.

We were able to hook one light back up. See, the thing about these podcast lights, guys. And for all those that have their own little podcasts at home, they're like, I know how to set up lights. Yeah, guess what? Taking the fucking thing off an Ikeel lamp doesn't count.

The ring lights don't count. There's a little streamer lights. No, we have a, we got big boy cinema lights that use XLR cables for power. And, uh, you have to run them through several different like box converters. I don't know how to do that. Because it's like one is for the light. Then the other is providing power to the other box for the light. It's like a separate battery box that goes in.

Yeah. But anyway, Tucker, uh, removed the big boy lights. And one of them is supposed to be mounted up there. We don't know how to put. that back on and we sure as hell don't want to try and for audio listeners if you're like why am i hearing a strange jingling it's because it's it's the holidays yeah uh luke just thought it would be christmasy to add just individual he actually faint bell whenever matt's talking he recorded a a a whole separate track in real time with some bells and just jingled it whenever he felt like

he wanted to should i put some like tape over this is it you think it's going to bother people no i mean how do you how if people are coming in or just skipping through the podcast how are they going to know it's a holiday podcast unless they hear the bills so it makes sure that people know that faintly albeit even if at all yeah i did just notice it is uh it's it does it every time i move my i'm i'll try home my head very still no fuck it dude i'm not gonna fucking bend the knee to these woke assholes that go i don't want to listen to the jingling of the bells it's christmas x-miss for those who Are assholes.

And actually, I don't know if you're... I don't know if this is true. I was told this... Layed on me. When I was younger. Skid. You like that? Like mudflap?

Mm-hmm. I'm Skid, your mudflap? Well, I mean, yeah. Because you don't even know if you're talking into the mic that's been around my mudflap. You took these mics into the fucking stream room to hook them up for the last stream. I'm bringing back in here today to set them up and I realized, oh, I don't know how to tell which mic is yours or mine. So the mic that you fucking.

put up to your ass and rip ass and like this could be the one that now I have hard to say yeah um but X X mess my mom or somebody when I was a kid I remember being like

it's just messed up to say you know Xmas just taking the Christ out of it it's like actually crucifixes at one point were exes. So it still is a, it's actually a Christian shortening of the word. Kind of like in that movie, The Silence,

where the Japanese take all the Christian dudes onto those ex crucifixes into the ocean. Aren't they, don't they put them on like exes in the ocean and they drown when the tides rise? Oh, that scare me. Is that, aren't those exes? I think so.

Yeah. There weren't crosses, I don't think. No. There might have been, I mean, how would the Japanese know about a crucifix back then? X makes more sense. Maybe it was just, you know, it's like,

it's the best way to put someone in the water. Oh, yeah. Well, also, like, in the water, an X is going to stand better than a little lowercase T. Also, I really love the scene in that movie where they're, like, pouring the boiling water on the dudes. Why? No.

It's not in a weird way. Just cut the ads real quick. This is the Christmas episode. Like, it's like, happy. holiday, you know, think of, think of the smell. I know, Luke, seriously. Scorsese's best movie. Luke.

Guys, Matt died. He went to go change the thermostat and it electrocuted him, and he's dead. Hey, Hey, dude. What's up? Don't spread death rumors about me again, dude. Death hoax is really? There's at least one person who started crying.

When, oh, no! Zip. Zap. Zip, zap, zap, zap, zap, zip, zip, zip, zap, zip. Fuck me, dude, that's hard, dude. Looks like I have not warmed up for my comedy improv class. we're doing an hour if not maybe two hours

of Zip Zapsop after after podcast No not two hours Yeah We didn't even last 10 seconds Matt Well I normally don't last 10 seconds This is Zip Zapsop we're talking about Improv okay buddy

Improvisational comedy It's serious Zip Zip Zap Zop Zip No no no no No you haven't even paid your your dues

What do you mean You we have to we have to practice zip zaps that you haven't proven that you can just zip zaps live on the podcast again zip no come on dude no two hours that's what we're doing one round of it you you keep this up and it's three hours one round just one zip zap zap zip zip zip zap zap zip zip zip zip zap zap zap oh matt praying on a brother's downfall i was just scolding you i wasn't praying for you to have a downfall it just happened and was i gleefully you know dancing in the snow about it maybe But who wouldn't want to bask in a competitor's, in a comedic competitor's glory every once in a while or disclory?

Yeah. I mean, the president just did that when his comedic rival passed away. Rob Ryan. Yeah. It's insane. It's insane. But Christmas. What do you want for Christmas this year? My two front teeth. How about you? Hypopotamus, yeah. Hippopotamus?

Those things, Matt, I'm going to be honest. hippopotamai are are known to be ruthless killers in their domain don't let the little pygmy baby hippopotamai or isn't that what the mudong is? A pygmy?

A pygmy hippopotamai? Don't let them fool you. They're mean. Are they? They'll drown you. They'll kill you. Dude, I promise. People die so much to hippopotam They do, but not to pigmy ones. No, not to pigmy ones. Moodang couldn't drown my ass worth shit. Well, I bet you pygmy people die a lot to pygmy hippopotamai.

Most likely that, like, if they exist in the same climates, yes. You know, I'm sure that is a threat. But actually, you know what, speaking to drowning. You and I were talking about this yesterday on set. A lot of... A drowning pact? No. We were talking about...

Hey, Tucker, let's go on a fishing trip. uh we were talking about uh just if he ever moves on from from working for us and stops working it's it's it's better it's better nobody gets tucker yeah no i agree this needs to be cut out one hundred percent luke look look shouldn't even know about this fuck you dude i'm gonna have to get the sd cards out luke you better forget what you heard luke now imagine i'm will smith and the men in black that's the sound of the i haven't seen it i don't know what the sound it makes but Luke's memories are raised. All right, back to it.

We were talking about drowning and specifically how like most... Most time it happens in water. Most of the time... Did you know? 90% of drownings happen in water. Mm-hmm. In a large body of water at that.

There are people who do just... Who do just, you know, fall asleep in a bathtub. Or a puddle. fall into a puddle get knocked out and then fall into a fucking unfortunate way to die you just slip

hit your head in a puddle and that's good that's puddle water dude just no thanks or you could even be walking

you see a puddle and go jump in it it's a lot deeper than it looks and you go you're gone under the surface well imagine

being Santa Claus just doing your job and some asshole goes hey what are you doing and it surprises you go whoa and then you

fall, you die, you disappear so your family doesn't have a chance to mourn you or have a funeral. Nobody. And then that guy takes your job and takes his fucking kid around, starts having all of your milk and your cookies that you, that were yours that night. They were going to be yours. All of your employees that you've, uh, you know, built camaraderie with. They're his employees now. We're talking about the plot of the Santa Claus. And no, not Clauses as in the name. Clause is in the legal clause. That's right. And I don't want to get into it because it's a huge can of worms and we're going to get in a heated debate about it. But what about the the Jack Frost one? What is it called? Santa Claus. The Santa Claus 3? The escape clause?

No, there's the escape clause. I mean, there's Jack Frost. What is the Jack Frost one? There's, I, does the second one have a by-line? Like a by-line? Not a byline, but like a sub-title or whatever the fuck. Santa Claus is back. And this time he's bisexual. Santa Claus 2 is just called Santa Claus 2. And Santa Claus 3 is the Santa Claus 3, the escape clause. With Jack Frost.

There's no, that's not in the title, but yes, Jack Frost is in it. Played by Martin Short. Wait. Oh, my God. I never realized that was fucking him. You're right. You're right. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I had to make sure I wasn't saying Martin Freeman or something, you know, because I confused them as well. I've always confused them. Yeah, but I was saying about back to drowning, we're like kind of surprised thinking about like, oh yeah, there's a lot of Americans, a lot of like adults that don't know how to swim in America. And I was like, well, you know, I guess a lot of the country doesn't live near water. So they don't have a reason to swim. Because you and I grew up relatively like, you know, close to water. You grew up on the coast, so a big ocean.

And me, you know, I had Myrtle Beach, but I also lived, uh, Lake Murray is just a big ass fucking, like, you've been to Lake Murray, haven't you? Oh, many times, man. And I bet your ass was fucking water tubing on that fucking lake behind a boat. My dad would rent a boat. We'd go tubing. We did that like twice in my lifetime.

Dude tubing, so much fun. I know, like, that would be the thing. It's like you'd rent a boat and rent the tube, you know, rent everything. Well, unless you were rich and owned you. your own boat, I guess. Well, see, you know what my loophole was? Have a friend who has cousins that are rich.

Hey, do you want to go to the Lake Murray with me to my cousin's house for the weekend? We're going tubing. Oh, yeah. Dude, tubing was so much fun, though. You felt like an action hero until you see the boat really slow down and then take a real sharp turn.

And then it starts flipping, you're like, ah! Dude, but have you ever had one of those moments where you're like nearly on the side, but then you go, and you hold on and you still keep that feels awesome also I will say you know when you're a kid in your imaginations run a wild it is I don't know I put myself

I'm like I'm in an action movie I still do that I have to stick on I still do that yeah I well for me I still like if a movie's really good I'll like that the essence of that movie like I'll kind of like feel like if it's a like if it's a good like fucking ending

I'll feel more positive leaving if it's a dower ending sad or whatever I'll be like oh damn on this song Life socks. I, uh, like, when I go on, um, the Incredit coaster at Disneyland, I like to imagine that I'm, it's really dumb. I like to imagine I'm like a, uh, someone I like Spy Kids ass thing. And I have like a jet pack and I imagine like, this is what it would feel like to actually

like zip around on a jet pack. It's probably really fun. Going loop-de-loops and shit. It's much more fun than just being like, I'm on a roller coaster. It's like, I'm actually flying a jet pack. I like, uh, I like when roller coasters, when they're constructing it, the people making it are thinking about its placement in the park and what you can see as you're going on it. So it's like just good

views. Because there's some like, I don't know, when I think of like the South Carolina State Fair, the roller, like the types of roller coasters they would have would just be like off to the side. So like part of the view is just like a shitty empty parking lot. And then like some student housing across the street, you know. But like. But like, Like, in that case, those are just put up in a day. But like, when theme parks, when, like, theme parks strategically, I guess Disney has to do that, like, right? Like, if you're on a ride, do you think they strategically are like, okay, what are you in view of? Do we got to make sure the logos are tilted to make sure, like, where can you see this logo?

Which attractions do we want to make sure have a clear shot of the logo? You know, I bet they think about it's like, well, we want people on this ride to be able to see a good view of this one. So afterwards, they want to go on that, you know? We should be in marketing. We are With Shopify I don't know if they are sponsoring this episode Well I don't know dude

I don't choose But yeah drowning Let's go to ads Dude, I'm so, I'm dead serious. You got it. You cannot. I don't have any times I've said it.

You cannot put your cans of monster in the microwave. I know you like it warm. You know, they're made out of metal. You put it in the microwave. What happened? We don't have an oven. Let's get the fucking shit out of me again. I'm sitting here.

I get crackling and popping and put an oven in the office then we can't put an oven in the office there's building permit codes and shit then I'm going to use the microwave how else am I supposed to make it if you think of one other way and no I'm not I'm not heating up a towel and then wrapping it around the drink and slowly trying to make it warm that way that doesn't even that sucks and doesn't even work what about oh what about like the Turkish coffee thing where they have hot sand you know you you can get a bucket of hot sand it's hot monster dude can't get better than hot microwave monster i can't disagree with legal purposes do not do this because it would be very big very fucking bad actually i dare you guys put uh put metal cans in the

microwave and set it to 99 minutes and then film your parents reaction say mom come here watch this record press go on the on the microwave and then just watch what she does also throw fucking silverware in there at the same time in tinfoil. Just really actually stuffed the whole fucking microwave with as much metal as you can find around the house. Okay. The funny brothers are going to think this is

we can't be legally held responsible for that. Of course not. Because I just said so. Sure. Right? I guess. Because I said we can't be. I mean, you're egging it on.

No, but a judge would then see, they'd see, well, he says right here they can't be held responsible. Well, as Hank Hill would say. say you're dressed like a jackass so I don't know if the video evidence we could even use it in court because we're dressed so silly that like think of a judge

A judge is dressed silly they don't think that they see it they don't see being dressed as a judge as silly they see it as like they're dressed as an official. Is Santa Claus not a fucking official? He's not a judge I know that. He's only a judge on character he doesn't have any he is

I have not seen any sort of legal document stating that he has jurisdiction anywhere that he can legally I mean he does he does have a court in the North Pole that that does have a high death sentencing. It's like a tribunal right

yeah but it's only but it's stuffed with like him and Mrs. Claus and Jack Frost none of the elves have a have a saying honestly it's for prosecuting the crimes of the elves but it's only the crimes of the elves like there are also like there's more than just

elves in the North Pole you know there's there's yet there's people right but you got to remember uh like that jurisdiction when you get into so to speak yeah yeah yeah so you know judges are dressed like fucking goofy ass like what big oversized goofy like Hogwarts looking fucking bullshit do come on my favorite with a big fucking mallet my favorite are like judges in just like the EU because they don't even care to look good It's not even good wigs. It'll be like a guy with brown hair

With like this shitty white wig on Because they have to wear the white wigs, right? It looks so stupid and bad And I can't believe that they can't just be like We are not in a time anymore Where this is necessary I know this is Culturally significant for you

Do they see it as kind of like Like a native like Because not all Native American tribes You know did headdress stuff So it's like But those who did is it like the kind of same like thing for them where it's like this is our

headdress and if you're not a judge this is our cultural head dress if you're not a judge don't you dare put that on yeah like why do we do the why the white wig still if it's not if nothing else

but it's cultural because they're British yeah you know like it's as simple as that and your average Brit looks like this Luke and for those listening ugly imagine like

just put a foghorn sound right here Luke, that's basically like what, like if you were to take an image of the average British person, teeth space, two inches apart each, and if you, if you different sizes, all over the board and actually, I mean, you wouldn't even know their teeth at first, but basically, if you took that image and you somehow using some mathematical bullshit converted it into an audio signal, it would sound like a like that the foghorn

leghorn now I do declare now now now now now I'll say I'll say Christmas time did I he never said that guy

I don't want to spread any false there might have been a Looney Tunes Christmas episode where he said it But he didn't say it It's now now now It's happy holiday It's not Merry Christmas

You fuck Whoa Froghorn leghorn is falling He's gone woke Say froghorn Leghorn? That's the name. I thought it was Foghorn.

Leghorn. I think you're right. My bad. Froghorn. Maybe. I'm thinking of a different guy. No, I wasn't wrong. I was just thinking, you know.

He actually... Also, you saw about Foghorn, right? You saw the whole thing about him on the list? What list? The naughty list? The other list. The big list. Well, that's also a naughty list.

It was more than just the... He was more on just the flights. He was actually on the... island as well. Oh, my God. And there's an audio recording. Of what? Now, I'll say, I'll say this is one of the grant spanking as bestest part as I've

ever been to, Biarch. And then you hear a, whoosh. Talk of the horn in the island. Yeah, Jack Septickeye was on the island as well. Foghorn leghorn on Epstein. On Jeffrey Epstein's island. And it was just as shocking when we found out, guys. You know, Jeffrey Epstein, many have compared him to Santa Claus.

because he kept a naughty list and he said, you know. I'm going on the Nile List for that. You're dressed as an elf comparing Santa Claus to Jeffrey Epstein. I regret it deeply now. You should. I wish I hadn't done that.

But I can't take it back. And because Santa Claus sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake. He already knows that I said that. But why doesn't he watch you when you're awake? He just knows when you're awake. He just knows, yeah. He's like, oh, he's awake.

I don't need, then when when you're sleeping? Oh, are you sleeping? Yeah. It's precious. It's like we're boring when we're awake. Ugh. Precious.

God. Now that's a naughty boy, unfortunately. Well, he could change that. He's going on the naughty list. Heating like the boy, little boy.

That's pretty, back on the nice list. Shit. That's good shit. That's good shit. You know, uh, Santa Claus,

his middle name. Really? We're not going there, dude. Okay. House Democrats today released new evidence of Jack Septickeye and Foghorn Leghorn on Epstein's Lolita Express

and Little St. James Island. Top of the morning, Jr. Jeffrey! He had them do live let's plays at the parties while they would do like ritual magic sacrificing children.

But it's like eyes wide shut so like Jack Septuio, would have to be blindfolded while he did his uh like let's play stuff in the corner you haven't seen eyes wide shut they made there there's a guy that like he plays piano at the illuminati sex parties but he's not the part of the illuminate they don't want to see him so he has to play the piano blindfold the whole time he doesn't know what's going on well actually he saw through the blindfold at one point and he tells tom cruz's character about it he goes i gotta tell you man i saw this crazy shit and then tom cruise goes nine

11? Yeah, two planes, two towers. But then another one happened at the Pentagon. Tom Cruise went, not on my watch. And then, um, seen. Mark Wahlberg. I know just who to call. If Mark Wahlberg was there, just as a side note, if he was there for 9-11.

I'll tell you, man, if I was on that plane, you're 903 when it crashed, he would have landed right in that field. And it would have been beautiful for Tom Cruise to play Mark. Wahlberg in the movie that would celebrate it. So, you know. Can we just give Mark to play himself? Oh, no one would believe it. You know? Yeah.

Unfortunately, Mike Wahlberg is not very good to portraying himself. There's never been like a, has there been a situation where there's been... Someone plays themselves about it like a historical story? Yeah. I feel like that's happened. I feel like I've, I remember where that was like kind of like the hook to a, movie. I mean, they always do a thing where

sometimes they cameo the person. They cameo the, like, the real person as themselves in the story, you know, but... It's like the end of the smashing machine by Benny Safty. Have you, uh, no, are you going to go see Marty Supreme? Marty McPreme? Are you getting it wrong?

It's Martin Supreme. It's a guy named Martin who wears Supreme. I am, yeah, I'm going to see Marty Supreme. It looks pretty good, said the white boy. You know, people are saying, that this is proof that this is the uh saffty brother that carries the sauce no no i don't want to i love bini saffty do i i don't want to if we i want to work with him one day dude i can of course of course but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but you will say that the mess

that the smashing machine while not an epic failure was not was it as smashing as i hoped are you good are you are you excited to see it again i'll see i'll see you i'll see you at some point yeah no it's on Netflix you know and I can't sleep the smashing machine was like I thought it was like well directed and acted and everything

and I liked the overall thing my thing with it was just like I feel like this is something that Benny Safte personally found very interesting like and was passionate about and want to make a movie about but in my personal opinion

I feel like the story didn't have enough beef to warrant like a dramatic movie if that makes sense that's all well Stephen Spielberg got obsessed with Abraham Lincoln

and then made Lincoln Vampire Slayer and then he got obsessed with horses made Mr. Hans the videotape that was him right well he's

he directed it yeah right right which led to him then because someone saw that you know kind of like you know they see a starter film and they're like

then they fund it to make the actual film yeah they saw that and funded Warhorse for him so he got to make War Horse because he got he directed Mr. Hans, and they could trust him. You know I'm from Mr. Hans.

Steven Spielberg. Yeah, what can I say? That's him doing a horse impression. He's not good at it. There's a new Steven Spielberg movie coming out about aliens. Have you seen that? No. Wait, what?

Dude. Produced or directed? Directed. It's like his... So, you know the whole theory that Stephen Spielberg knows alien insider stuff? And that's... And he puts it into his movies to try to condition the public to get ready for aliens. So apparently this new movie is about like, I think it's about gray aliens, Ryan.

Dude. And I'll tell you, dude, they put up advertisements for it around. I'm looking at a poster and it looks like a fucking creepy ass. You see it? How it's like an eye. But you see what it looks like when you kind of like look at it more? A bird. It's a bird, but you see it?

You see it? A cardinal. Dude, it's like a gray alien's head with a, shadow over part of the face you see it with a shadow over part of the face especially dude from okay here look I'm gonna hold it put it far away you see it I see what looks like like a like a gray alien eye this is like the side of of its head I am and it's like you know it's like dark so the half of his face is lit that's like his collarbone oh yeah that that's that's what I saw at first and then I saw the bird yeah so but that poster I'm pretty sure it gets flipped upside down

in some of them like flip it upside down yeah because then that's a person's face right Right, that's really cool fucking graphic design. But if it's about gray aliens, dude, holy fuck, I'm excited. He's gonna pull a gotcha. I hope not, dude. I will say on the alien subredits that I'm subscribed to,

they're excited. People keep, like, keep posting the poster, like flipping upside out and circling, he's like, gosh, disrepresenting it. Because they think it's like Stephen Spielberg actually, like, getting ready to, like, do disclosure. It's like, this movie is going to reveal the truth.

And it's like, it's a fucking deal. It's a Hollywood Steven Spielberg movie. If Steven Spielberg does know something real about aliens, that's cool. But it's a Hollywood movie. I honestly can't even remember the last, not in general, because you rewatch them all the, you know, every now and then. But like what the last new Steven Spielberg movie I saw in theaters type of thing. I didn't see BFG.

I didn't see the one with Paul Dano, but I still. need to see that one in general because I heard it was good. Oh, yeah. That was kind of like semi-autobiographical. Yeah, he gets cocked, right? I didn't see it. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it's a cock.

Well, speaking, Paul Dano, Spielberg directed the GameStop one. Wait, Spielberg directed that? Sike. Gotcha. No, he didn't. That sounds like the guy who did the big short or something, like he would have directed that. I think you did, actually.

I think you're right. I saw that movie. I like Paul Dano. I just like... The movie had a lot of, like... Internet meme shit in it. Or someone who doesn't... Who's older...

Like, did it feel very, like, boomer-brained, quote, unquote? I mean, I do got to be honest. The guy it's based on was kind of like that, so... But still, it's like... It hurts to see. I got to see, like, filmography. Like, what is... What is Spielberg...

Super 8? I loved that. That was J.J. Abrams. But yeah, that's right we talked about this on the, or actually that episode might be coming out after this one. Fuck, I spoiled part of the next podcast where we talk about Super 8 and J.J. Abrams. Or it already came out and I looked like a fool. Gremlin's three? He's producing a shit ton of movies.

I don't want to see producer. I want to see... Yeah, put my name on it. I want to see... Director. The Fablemans was the movie that we were referenced. thing. West Side Story, I didn't see that, the musical.

I remember, Ready Player 1. Okay, but I didn't see Ready Player 1 in theaters. The Iron Giants in it. Did you see it ever? I did, I did. And you saw the Iron Giant, right? I did the Iron Giant. Dude, I did front flips and backflips and side flips.

No, the same time. No, I can't yet. But if I'm able to garner the excitement to a level 10 excitement, I think it's possible. I think it is doable and quite possible. Zach Fox has a rap lyric about the Iron Giant. Okay, well, we'll move on. I didn't know it was a touchy. If you're lying, I'm going to

fucking beat your ass. Because you can't joke about the Iron Giant in front of me. I'm not joking about the Iron Giant in front of you. I'm not joking about it at all. Zach Fox. Zach Fox, the rapper, he has a lot, and fuck around and find out that song. What's he said? He says, oh, fuck. He says something

about ironing on his giant till he hogarth hughes yeah honestly it's a lot better than the actual thing like that that if jack fox is watching i know he is he needs to take some notes on him he's ironing on his giant till he hogarth hughes iron on my giant till i hogarth hughes why don't you make rap music dude uh i'm just in a lawsuit that that's right yeah we don't even get into it uh the post was the last movie i saw of is in the theaters in 27 Me too. I saw that with you. I did not like it.

You didn't like Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks in The Post? I did not. I thought it was boring. Because, you know, I'm a small-brained Marvel movie-loving freak. Geek. Although I haven't liked what, like,

really anything that Marvel's put out. Besides, like, Guardians of the Galaxy 3 was good. always have a great soundtrack black adam or black steve what is it uh no that's athletic steve oh that's athletic steve come damn that was quick dude that was that was really fucking smooth and fantastic and remember luke when we when we cheers it's not the punch sound effect it's the champagne glass yeah yeah you're gonna have to censor ryan there cut that out i was doing a fucking I was doing a

An automotipia. But it should have been clink. Kling! Okay, no, to be fair, what you said is valid, it does count. But I wasn't, it wasn't even supposed to be a joke. It wasn't supposed to be, uh-oh, you know. Just bleep it because it is, it does sound bad.

You don't want the sound bite. No, no, God, no. God, God, no. Oh, careful, man. Boom! That's what I want to give to the devil whenever he tells people Santa doesn't exist. You're the greatest lie the devil ever told?

Was that Santa doesn't exist? Was making people believe that Santa doesn't exist. Kevin Spacey in unusual suspects. Yes. Dude, imagine if Kevin Spacey played the dad in Jack Frost. Well, good thing, it wasn't, and it was Kevin Bacon? No. Hart?

No. Okay, that would have been awesome, though, right? Kevin Hart. It was not, is this name? What's his name? Cos Birdman. Kevin, no. Oh, wait, was it a Birdman?

It was the Birdman guy. Oh, Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton. Who is also the vulture in Spider-Man Homecoming. Okay. Michael Keaton reminds me a lot of my uncle, Eugene. Levy? I'm not doxying family members.

Okay. You know, we talked about that. Your uncle looks beautiful these days. He does. I agree. I actually, I haven't, I haven't talked to my uncle in so long. Maybe tone it down on the fake lashes, but.

Well, I feel like it's one of those things where, you know, you know when someone gets plastic surgery and they end up getting more plastic surgery and they, it's like, it's scales where like they think that they look good and they keep getting more, it's like that where, like, he keeps putting on thicker and thicker and longer fake lashes and to the point where it's like, I can't even see your face. Yeah, and it's scary.

falling into it's like snuffaloffigis right and stuff as a kid I love snuffaloffing it scared me the eyelashes bothered me he scared me a little bit like it's like one of those

I don't know how to explain it but as a kid there were there were these feelings of immense joy over something but then in person immense fear of like ooh I don't know like being thrilled wait what do you mean

I don't know how to that's that I mean like that's what I said at the beginning it's kind of hard to explain it's like I'd be excited about dinosaurs, right? Right. But then if I went to a pup-put range where there were animatronic dinosaurs, I'd be like, oh my God, even though they're not real, it's fun, it's whatever, it's dinosaurs, but I'd be scared shitless. But if I was just looking at pictures or videos of these same animatronics, I'd get excited.

It elicits it to different response. I mean, that's kind of like me with women and sex and stuff, right? It's like pornography, I get excited as hell. But then with the real deal, oh! You know, I'm scared as hell. So, I mean, that's true for a lot of people. Not me though Or are you

You and I What they call pussy masters And I'll leave it at that Yeah we'll swallow that fly Yeah And maybe if we're feeling like it We'll swallow that spider To swallow that fly

Oh yeah All right You know what that's a reference to Uh huh Cleveland Brown Oh yeah And let's just say They don't know why we swallow that fly But

Perhaps she'll die oh my dude we should make like a gritty horror you know when people fucking take like a classic fairy tale and they're like but it's the horror version let's do like a scary horror version of the lady that swallowed a fly dude do you remember

the it's like a vore movie the I think Jeremy Renner was in it the Hansel and Gretel and Gretel movie where it was like instead of like little kids it's like two fucking smoking like hot adults that are ripped Was it just called Hansel?

I think it was Hansel and Gretel. Did we not see that in theaters? I don't think we saw in theaters. There's no way, because that came out like when we were in high school. I swear I saw it. That's why I've seen the movie. Because it's so badass.

Uh-huh. I mean, what's another example? It's J.R. There's another one. Although I wouldn't say it was just trying to catch on to the twilight trend more so. edgy fairy tale. Do you remember it starred Amanda Seifred,

Cifred, whatever. I have no clue how to say it so I can solidify it. Soifred. But it was Red Riding Hood. That's right, yeah. We're the big bad wolf. A big bad wolf with a big bad cog.

Oh, is it a sexual movie? Yeah, and she kept getting hair balls because his cock had hair on it. All right. She kept going, ah, ah. I've heard some, let's just say I've talked to a couple lovers of yours that said the same thing. They couldn't show the cock in the movie. Right. So, but they did, they were smart about it at the time.

I don't think they do this anymore in movies. They had audio, like audible, like just a narrator description of like, thick, long dog cock with hair on it. Like in a robot voice, kind of explaining what was going on. It's before AI, it's before like they could make really realistic sounding voices. So when it was like Microsoft Sam describing the dog penis. Exactly. But the descriptions are actually like incredibly vivid and breathtaking.

Some of them like it got me bricked up in the theater. What's the line and is it just by is it like bipedal to quite like what's the line of when fucking a werewolf is strange? Like if Bella were to have sex with Jacob in Jacob's wolf form, that would be weird as fuck, right? but like if it's one of those werewolves that's think of the wolf man where it's like he's on two legs just a dude with like some pain on his nose and like sharper ears

or uh you know oh you know he's a he's a he's a wolf man like where's that point of wherewolf here's okay there's a great quote when it's not okay to have sex with the werewolf I think that this quote can, I can kind of translate it. This question comes from Luke. He didn't want to mention new way.

This question comes from an anonymous viewer. I remember I had an art professor in college who said. Love to masturbate to werewolves. And he did. And he let the class know and now he's fired. And that's what happens on these college campuses these days. Well, he wouldn't let me go to the vet. vending machines so I said okay you're getting fired and I started a great rumor about him

told the dean and everything but basically they ended up taking away the vending machines which was you know sorry go on that I like I just like building I mean world building you and I love world building it's like tell some fucking stories guys it's like we are telling stories we're creating them I've been the professor exploded it's out of thin air too this stuff didn't exist without our brains neither did the professor one day he just turned into a, you went, Hey guys, I'm the new professor and I love jacking off to wear.

Then he turned to purple. Yeah, and then, uh, the sun went out. So, what was I fucking talking about, dude? You were talking about how you were shaving your penis one day. I wasn't talking about how I was shaving my fucking penis. Okay,

you were shaving your legs? You were shaving something or shaving something for someone. Bussey. I'll shave my bussy and, uh, it bleeds more than you would think. Basically, but the quote this professor, he was like, he was quoting someone else because we were having a discussion about like, where's the line between art and pornography, right? Because like there's nude art, like the pictures Tucker takes of himself. And then there's pornography, like some of the other pictures Tucker takes of himself. And how do you actually like define the difference between art and porn?

And he quoted someone that said like, I don't know how to like describe. the difference, but I know porn when I see it. And I think that's the best way to do this. It's like, I can't describe when a woman having sex with a werewolf man. Is weird? Is weird? But I would know it if I saw it, right?

So like, Bella having sex with Jacob in his werewolf form. Yay or nay from Matt? I'll be it erotic and hot. I'm going to have to say that's a that's a nay. Wait, am I getting to be confused?

No, it's wrong. That one is wrong. Now, what about, you've seen the Harry Potter movies. Right? If Bella had sex with Harry Potter? No, no. That's like a fan fiction I wrote. Bella's a high school student.

So is Harry. No, but I wasn't going to reference Harry. Oh, sorry. Because Harry's not a werewolf. Who's the werewolf? I read a, I read a different book from you then. But have you, have you, no, he's a dog. He's, he's something, he's, he's something else that's called, he's an animal

No I don't think he's an animal That's the books But it's some fucking creature It's some other thing Professor Lupin Is the werewolf I need to brush up on my Harry Potter

You remember seeing the movies What does he look like as a werewolf Is he what So like Is he bipedal Look at this fucking thing This Okay

And he goes and he scares off The bad guys In that scene right Remember this is the time travel movie Spoiler The Time Turner movie It is I forgot that they

They get the The TARDIS What is it The phone booth From Dock or Who And they go back Yeah That one definitely is wrong

Okay What about Wolfman What's Wolfman look like? Wait wait You're not giving me Your answers on these dude Hold on I think that one's fine

He looks like the Ripley's guy Yeah Wolfman Just looks like a guy that has like hyper hair syndrome I don't know the medical term but that just kind of like Hunter in that picture if Bella had sex with Hunter would that be weird

again Bella's in high school I keep forgetting that dude I keep fucking forgetting that dude I guess at the end of Twilight she has a kid she has sex in the movies or in the breaking moon par one

yeah but in the stories right in the books because the author's a Christian she makes it a point that she waits until marriage to have sex but in the book it's displayed as like Edward's like we can't have sex because if we have sex I want to bite you and then

if I bite you you'll turn into a vampire and I can't have that on my conscience bitch Edward you don't have to call me up have you been drinking again now shut up here we go again with that drinking bullshit yeah I'm drunk

so fucking what I've been living for fucking 5,000 goddamn years I can drink every now and then And you know why I'm fucking drinking It's you All the while he's wearing one of those Like Irish hats with a puff ball on top Because he just got home from the pub

You know what I'm talking about I thought you were gonna say One of those hats with the beers With the like the two Dude Imagine fucking beat Dude is this has to have existed Some drunk guy

Like being so verbally like abhorrent With one of those on Absolutely drunk Oh totally You know Fuck it's so what Fuck you Yeah I get drunk

So what We're wearing the beer hat You hear the sloshing I'm sorry Could you got me another one from the fridge This one's out the left one And if you want to help Get the super mega beer hats

That's a great merch idea For 2026 It could be any water too You know it's just It can be water Well, not, water or Pepsi or Coke. Yeah, it could be beers. You could be whatever.

If you want to be a part of supporting that idea and other ideas similar to that, look at these names that are scrolling by. That's a lot of names. Supporters of grand ideas. Creative, grand, funny ideas. These are. All right, Yoda.

Yoda D's nuts. I was going to say, uh. Right? sure um I don't think I'm supposed to say this but the list there is one list that has like a little smiley face and stuff that looks fancier

that's the nice list it got leaked to us early and we're releasing the list we're releasing the files no I mean the thing is while we are why we do want to give credit and that's why we have the list we want to give people the people who support us we do not want to get in the way

of covering up their misdemeanor needs. So we do have the nice and naughty list displayed as Matt, thankfully, graciously explained. The emojis, genius. The emoji stand, they're on the nice list. Right. No matter the emoji that's being used. And the green one, which is actually random every week. So these people, every pocket suppose you get a, you get a different one in your name. It's cool. But the green list, that's, which is actually counterintuitive, right? Because you think green is good. It's actually not, though. No. It's, that's the naughty list. And if you go to patreon.com slash supermega, you can maybe see if you could end up on one of those lists and help fund our ideas like the Super Mega beer or regular water hat.

Thank you, one and all. And have a Merry Christmas. Can we redo that, actually? Yeah. Okay. There's got to be some Christmas music to end it out. See you? Oh, wait.

Sorry, I forgot it's a bad. Can we redo it again? You get one more trying. Then I'm taking over. Okay. Merry Crip No, I know, no I just didn't, you law, you, nope, you're done.

Thank you everyone, good night.