supermegashow - Uber Pranks | supermegashow - 062

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

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When myself and YouTube superstar legend Ryan McGee started this channel, we thought we had it all figured out. But the one thing we didn't have figured out was how to sell merchandise to our beloved fans. We didn't know how to sell it. Um, and then one night while asleep in our bunk beds, a vision came to us from the heavens above and said, boys, what you need is Shopify. Ryan and I woke up at the exact same time and looked at each other and in perfect unison said, Holy smokes, Shopify! We've used Shopify for years.

Wouldn't consider using anywhere else. It's really fantastic, it's super easy to use, and most importantly, it's fun. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into... Shopify! That's supposed to be the sound effect there. My friend here says that you can sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash super. That's right. Go to Shopify.com slash super. You can get a $1 per month trial period. What's

not to love at Shopify.com slash super. Again, that's Shopify.com slash super again. That's Shopify.com slash super. This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users' phone numbers, emails, and social security numbers, delivering real-time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free when you visit aura.com slash defense. That's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's aura.com slash defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard.

When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy zero dollar delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. 89 90 oh my god dude oh that might have been the biggest vape cloud on this side of the Mississippi oh oh my god where were we recording the whole time?

Yeah we were rolling, we were rolling. Okay, well welcome back everyone. Sorry I just had to take a huge ass vape hit as everyone's doing nowadays. It's the hottest trend, it's the hottest new fad, it's the sickest new addiction. Putting metals in your lungs. Nicotine is sick. It's fucking sick nasty. It's dope, D-O-P-E-A-F, if you don't mind me saying so. Nicotine is my favorite addiction. Do plan on like quitting the vaping actually soon.

Okay, I was actually gonna- Because we're gonna start an office-wide thing. I was gonna talk to you about this, about like if you had a date in mind because guys I'm sorry to let anyone down I as well am addicted to nicotine and I What's happened? I think I think as long as I'm clean by like the month of my birth or like as long as I like him on On the process so next next like sometime this month

I got it sometime this month. Anytime this month would be great, but not today. Just not today. Or tomorrow doesn't really work for me as well. If we could get through this work week and then maybe circle back to it Monday in like a meeting or something. I'll say a weekend is the best time to start

because really you just need like three days to get over the Initial withdrawals the weekends for fun the weekends you want to be here for wild times Luke has said himself many times he said that When he is like withdrawing from nicotine he he's angry And and I'm scared I might just say the wrong joke or something and he's gonna fucking crack my pencil neck. Well he could. He has the grip of a gorilla. Which, have you heard this? There's this thing that is gonna be super fucking old by the time this podcast comes out. It's the biggest question on the internet, for the past week at least, as far as we've been recording this.

100 men versus one gorilla. Have you heard about this? I have, yeah. Crazy stuff. I've heard about this, I've seen this. I think personally, I think... I think 100 men easily got it. Yeah, I think 100 men could do it. Now if it's 30 men? Mm-mm. I don't know. Tear through 30 men. I just like, imagine the fear struck through just a little, like there's some cowardly men in those 30. Did they all sign up? Well, I wouldn't think so, to make it fair.

It would just be like, 30 men just like, boom, appear, just like the gorilla appears. So like everyone's stunned, everyone's in their most like, high alert, flight like there What the fuck is going on they see like other which for the men at first? It's probably like what are these other men doing and then they see the commonality between them and the beast before them Actually, I don't think a hundred men could do it and I'll tell you why because I feel like even if um power of love The power of love you've seen Tarzan, you know how much gorillas love

They have big hearts, you know, they have big hands, but they have big hearts too like they do in Texas. Mm-hmm They have very big hearts in Texas number one state for heart disease But I think the gorilla is only so big right right? And you can only have so many men charge it and consume it with a tax at once. And I feel like that caps out. So having 100 men doesn't really make it better because maybe only just because of physical space

and everything. I just don't know if the gorilla has the stamina to even like yes They don't have the numbers at once could maybe attack it But the gorilla could go through them quick and then the next 15 come and it goes through them You know like a hundred men can't attack one gorilla at once men would be dirty. They'd go for the balls probably You know so like as if they get one good fucking yank on on those nuts and rip the balls off of the gorilla like the gorilla bleeds to death potentially you can bleed out that way yeah so it's a it's a possible way to

die I mean they said so in the movie Django when they were about to clip Django that's right and they also in a thousand ways to die the television show that was on Spike television. Oh, sorry, whenever you said that I thought of Seth MacFarlane's movie A Million Ways to Die in the West. No, also fantastic. Have you seen it? I haven't, but I've heard it's fantastic. I have seen it. In theaters. With your dad?

With my dad. You saw it with your dad in theaters? Oh yeah. It was very long. or it felt long, is my review. Dude, movies like that, it's always like, it feels so long, and then you check the runtime and it's like an hour 20, and you're like, I know, it's like, wow. How our videos feel.

Come on, man. Come on, I'm sorry. You guys just. It's just a little bit of self-deprecating humor. Yeah, I don't like that. We all like self-deprecation. To self-deprecate, this week I went and I punched myself in the face a couple times,

so I have some bruising on my face. I tried to cover it up with makeup, but the tone doesn't match. So. You probably deserved it one way or the other. Yeah, I mean, charmatically speaking. Charmatically speaking, through life, you earned those punches.

100%. Regardless of whether you know specifically what each punch is for, you know that they're earned at some point. And probably even on the low end, you know, you're probably just going on the low end. The amount of punches you punch yourself probably really doesn't qualify to the amount of punishment necessary for the sins committed by the Watson clan. Yeah. Especially World War II. We don't call ourselves the Watson clan anymore. We just call ourselves the Watsons. Dude, I actually don't know if I'm ever gonna see

a lot of my family again. Okay, this sounds like I'm being taken hostage. No, but what I mean is on my dad's side of the family, you know, like we weren't close to begin with and really the only time I would see any of those people was when I would go visit my grandparents, but both my grandparents passed. So, you know, the rest of the Watson cousins

and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews, they're all spread out over the deep south. No weddings, no. Oh no. Everyone's married now, or is it just like? No, but I don't see, we're not close enough to like, really, I wouldn't be invited to any weddings.

And also, I'll be honest, I would say 70 to 90% of my relatives, if I saw them in public, I would walk right by because I wouldn't even know who they were. Now, be honest with me here. Do you think that you not being invited to weddings on the dad's side of the family has anything to do with the stand-up routine you tried to perform

at your dad's wedding 30 minutes, I'm not yeah, and I'm not gonna say outright that it does comedy too right it was prop comedy Not gonna say it's dead of a toast a Standing up except hear the ding ding ding ding the camera pans over and it's you with like a huge fucking glass. Yeah, like ten times the size. Just one glass for me. And everyone's like, you know, everyone would laugh at that. But then if they didn't and then I put the glass down I pull out another prop of some sort and it just keeps going you're like it's like where do I get cut off I don't

know you're your dad's son so you have a lot of you have a lot of sway in how much people can do because they're not gonna call you out directly they're probably gonna wait for your dad to do it your dad would have to be the person to do it but then but then knowing that how far into it? Do you personally think your dad would cut it off like think like think about it? You know after that after the first bit we described you like turn away. You're like, okay guys I just I'm glad that you could lend me your ear you turn around you have like a big ear now and you have like a big ear now. And you're like. Everyone's like, you hear like the murmuring of like a wedding with some glass, like.

And then I'll be like, and, um, all right, guys. Well, I mean, that's the end of my act. And dad, I, you know, dad, Jeananne, I wish you guys well. I hope you'll be together forever, but who knows Meanwhile all of this is being said like you're like giving the speech of like anyways to be serious You know all the joking is done the cameras like panning out like in the middle of your speech There's just like an obvious giant watermelon in the middle of the thing. It's so obvious what's about to happen.

Yeah, I did. I did my Gallagher. You're like balancing the mallet on the table to make sure like it's like sliding sort of making sure it's like right up for the moment. Sorry. Hold on one second. OK. But yeah, anyways, you know, it's a serious time now, so. Uh, gotcha! Everyone's covered in watermelon. Like my dad's just sitting there, his white suit that he wore to his wedding is just.

The watermelon's covering his glasses. They'd go down the cover his disappointed eyes. I try to think realistically how long I could keep that going, because I feel like you know I would probably he wouldn't want to cut me off at first because when I keep pulling out the props he's like oh well he puts some thought into this you know it's kind of he would be impressed by the props at all I think he would laugh for maybe the first three and then he might be like, okay Well, he's kind of being an attention. It's my wedding and here

He's wearing he's pulling out a clown nose and what is that a mallet in a watermelon? What is that? And uh, yeah, I I think probably I could get I Think honestly five minutes in he might be like, okay. Okay It would be even more hilarious if all that speech led to all the sudden like you hear a loud like gunshot You look over someone's dead. You're like, oh Looks like someone was murdered. You just try to go into like a forced murder mystery Guy that no one knows like like he's just a hired actor just- Who could have done it?

Oh my god! Someone left a note guys! Everybody sit still, nobody move! Nobody move a muscle! Alright, no one's getting out of here until we figure out who did this. It's like very obvious, like the cast, the guy that got shot, it's like shitty fake blood, he's just kind of like breathing heavily so you can see like him just breathing like a detective walks in with a fucking trench coat with a magnifying

glass I've heard there's been a murder here you have like lightning sound effects playing even though it's a sunny day and then the detective gets shot you know whoa double mystery son seriously but please can we can we wrap this up dad I didn't plan the detective to get shot it's one of my redneck relatives enough it's not funny What? How's this for prop comedy? That that's see we gotta remember that one though that might accept it goes out and says bang on a flag, okay? That good they think that they think you shot you go You check yourself, then you look up, and it's just the gun with the flag pointing out I probably should have explained it as that for the for the for the best reveal for the podcast

But it's one of the guns with the flag sets bang. Yeah Yeah, but but I don't know a lot of the Watson's I'll be honest I Have an aunt that probably for the best. They probably stink. I Mean, yeah, I have in a very humid climate Hold on I'm just talking about them like they're. Hold on, I'm just. Talking about them like they're animals. Yeah, it's just kind of this like musk, musky, you know? It's real.

You know, in the climate that they live, you know, they tend to sweat a lot and produce a lot of pheromones. On my mom's side, they live in a more arid, like temperate climate, but you know, my dad's side, it's very moist and hot, so they do get to stinking. But I was thinking back through my Rolodex of family members on my dad's side, and I'm thinking back to my aunt's ex-husbands,

who were, I guess they're my ex-uncles, right? Because we're not related by blood. And I'm thinking back to this one uncle I had when I was a little boy. We don't have to talk about that. Oh no, it's not that story. That was on my mom's head. But I'm thinking back to this one uncle I had.

His name was Uncle Tom. Your mom's gonna be like, what the hell? My brother didn't Matthew But I had it I had an uncle Tom and No, I mean that's that he was uncle Tom He was his name was Tom and he was my uncle and we called him uncle Tom. Okay, and he had a boat and he'd take me out on the boat and I would love it and yeah, it's just a just a memory that just

Really kind of just popped up. You and Uncle Tom? I should write a memoir about the times I spent with my uncle like my Uncle Tom by Matt Watson Not only do you have an Uncle Tom? You got I remember one time I ordered you late at night as a treat what was it like 3 a.m. do you we've talked about this it was late it was late and you ordered you know it was you know not not many people are lucky as lucky as I am to have a friend as good as Ryan hey hey who surprise orders one pound of baked mussels like midnight to my front doorstep

from Uncle Tom's crab Was it just cuz the name was that yeah, I was just like this name is ridiculous But also like imagine just getting a pound of muscles from So I had to make it a reality I had ordered food, I think myself and I went downstairs and Just assumed my order was a part of it. Maybe I was like, what is this? And I look at the receipt and it says it's from uncle tom's crab shag And I look at the like items and it's like baked mussels one pound oh yeah and you got the garlic ones like extra garlic butter sauce or whatever and um I knew right away that it was from you yeah so I took it upstairs and I took it inside and and my dumbass I don't know why I

didn't take this through but I just took it inside and I was like, oh, Ryan. I put it on the countertop instead of just throwing it out. And you went to bed. I went to bed and just forgot about it. And I wake up in the morning, dude, my entire house was made to fucking Uncle Tom's baked mussels with garlic sauce. Was it a very like, it was awful.

It was a very ocean smell, like what did it smell like? It smelled like a pound of baked mussels. It sat out on my counter all night. Because also, they were sitting outside for a couple hours. Did you not have any? No. They've been sitting on my front doorstep for hours, by the way.

So like, did you get a waft when you opened your door? Were you like, whoa, that's not what I ordered? I don't remember if I got a waft when I opened the door, but I remember being surprised by a big greasy brown bag. Was it like wet and soggy? It was greasy. Did they have a logo on the bag or was it just the receipt?

No, it was just the receipt. Did they have their logo on the receipt or was it just the title? Honestly, I don't remember. This was a couple years ago. Oh, God. Good times, man. Very good times, dude.

Like the time you, it's very similar, you, I was at home, this was another late at like 2 a.m. or some bullshit. No, this wasn't 2 a.m. 3 a.m., 4 a.m.? Yeah, it was closer to 5. It was like 4-ish a.m. or whatever. It was very to five. It was like four-ish a.m. or whatever. It was very late or early.

It's that awkward time where it's in between the two of being really early and really late. Right. I get a loud pounding on my door, and I'm like, who the fuck is knocking on my door at fucking 4 a.m Someone's knocking on my door 4 a.m. It's gonna scare the shit out of me I'm like is this like I don't know why I think at the time I was like This is like a Jehovah's Witness up early or something like getting their rounds in

Like 4 a.m. It's like hey, you know early bird gets the worm. So I go out and then there's, okay, there was what, like lotion or what was it? I mean, what? So you open the door probably very warily, right? Yeah, I'm like, I'm like looking out and then I see there's this like, like just, just kind of like the bags they use for Uber Eats when they go by like a a drugstore like a CVS or Walgreens or 7-eleven You know it's not like right in a in a food bag I was like this is just a like a grocery bag of stuff and what Matt?

What did you what did you order me or did she some like? a bottle of lotion box of tissues and a bottle of lotion, a box of tissues, and? What was the, I don't remember what the third thing was. Oh, for some reason I thought you like, ordered me like orange juice or something too. Maybe you didn't. No, there was another time I ordered you a single orange.

Okay, that's what it was, that's what, okay, okay. So it just showed up. But I got you, I got you just lotion and tissues. and I guess this is more so, I guess looking back like... You left a specific note for the Uber Eats driver. Yeah, so like this Uber Eats driver, you know, gets this order and it's like 4.30 in the morning and he knows exactly what this is for. It's like why, like he, this guy definitely needs this shit. You know? He's horny as fuck. He ordered some fucking lotion. He needs to rub one out.

Priority? Yeah. Shit. It was priority. Even though they don't see that it's priority on their end. Which I just found out, which is bullshit, but that's whatever. And I put a note, I put a meet me at the door,

and I put like, I'll be wearing headphones at my computer, so please, please knock until I answer. So it was disheartening to hear that he didn't wait for you to answer the door. But at least he, you know, he rap-tap-tapped upon your chamber doors loudly. The note that I always leave is like, I put the onus on the person ordering and like,

we'll see how, we'll see. But I kind of make it like you have a disability or something where I'm like, hey, I'm hearing impaired. I'm very hard of hearing. It's hard for me to like hear. So could you please like ring the doorbell several times and knock loudly? Next time I'm always like very nice about it.

And I'm like, hey, I'm very hard of hearing. I'm gonna put that next time I order someone an Uber. I'm very hard of hearing so if you could speak up. If you could please yell. If you could please enunciate and project your voice. I remember I ordered. So how are you? Good. Good. Oh, that's awesome. Nice. I've ordered. Good good. Oh, that's awesome nice I've ordered a ad reads When myself and YouTube superstar legend Ryan McGee started this channel We thought we had it all figured out

But the one thing we didn't have figured out was how to sell merchandise to our beloved fans. We didn't know how to sell it And then one night while asleep in our bunk beds a vision came to us from The heavens above and said boys what you need is Shopify Ryan and I woke up at the exact same time and looked at each other and in perfect unison said holy smokes Shopify Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses and 10% of e-commerce in the United States. From household names like Mattel or Gymshark

to small companies just getting started. Like Supermega, we've used Shopify for years, wouldn't consider using anywhere else. It's really fantastic, it's super easy to use, and most importantly, it's fun. Packed with helpful tools that help you you know write product descriptions They help you figure out all the nitty-gritty stuff of shipping like tariff codes etc etc and best yet Shopify can help you with everything from inventory to international shipping to returns and

All of it. It's great. It's great if you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into... Shopify! It's supposed to be the sound effect there. Oh, sorry. My friend here says that you can sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash super. That's right! Go to Shopify.com slash super. You can get a $1 per month trial period. What's not to love at Shopify.com slash super. Again that's Shopify.com slash super.

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free of charge. My favorite thing to do when I order someone an Uber is like change the preferences so it's like in the summer it's put like heat. No I do that dude. And then talking preferred. I do talking preferred dude always when like it was like getting someone an Uber to like an airport sometimes. It's like if they have like a 4am orm. or 5 a.m. flight or something like scheduling their uber and like being like talkative. Because the default is is is talking no preference

but change it from no preference to like discussion preferred. So then uh the uber drivers will you know I I did that to uh my buddies visiting from South Carolina. I think they were out somewhere and this is like, I was at work so I was like Ubering them to the office. There's some shit like that and in doing so, I just like on the way put like, it was in the summer and I just put heat in like talkative. Speed please. The thing is like, there's only so much,

like an Uber driver probably won't actually put on the heat Yeah, I like it summertime, but the talkative thing is definitely because I don't know about anyone else I'm not a conversationalist. I can hold a conversation in an uber just fine all dandy But it's not my I would rather not say a single word I'd rather just kind of teleport to the location. As I said, I don't mind conversations. I just like, I'm not one for small talk, I guess. Yeah, I really don't prefer Uber conversations.

I don't like it when the working class talks to me. Absolutely not. When they utter things to me, I feel myself getting dumber and it makes me afraid, will I drop into their class as well? You know, as much as Ryan and I love playing pranks on the working class by making them, you know, drive a pound of baked mussels at midnight or turn the heat on in their car during the summer,

I just, I'm not one for small talk with strangers. I really, it's got, okay, when I was in my- I've never been one for small talk though. I've always been very introverted. I was fine in my early to mid-20s with it, but later in my 20s I just really pulled back from it and I really don't like it at all. And it's just gotten harder to do it.

Because, well, I think the older you get, the more you have those kind of like meaningless, kind of like, hey, what's up? How are you? We should hang out sometime type of conversations. So it's like, there's only so many times you can do that and then kind of get the gist of what's going on. You're like, yeah, okay, okay.

So we're just kind of talking to each other to be nice, you know, that type of deal. Yeah. It's like, neither of these people would particularly grav talking to each other to be nice. You know, that type of deal. Where it's like, neither of these people would particularly gravitate towards each other, but it's like they just felt awkward not saying anything and being like, hey. And then one person ends up just standing there

for too long and so they feel like they have to talk for longer. Do you do the same thing as me to avoid the awkwardness? So I'll be in an Uber on the way to the airport and this has happened many times where it's like we're on the freeway and their car is just loud. You can hear the highway. They're punching the back of their headrest? Yeah.

Shut up! But it's like very loud. Maybe I'll have headphones on or it'll be like a driver with a very thick foreign accent and they'll ask me something and I didn't hear them and I'll be like, excuse me? And they'll say it again and I'm too like awkward to ask them to repeat it again so I'll just be like, yeah, yeah.

And I'll just like kinda smile and then look out the window and so I'll just, my go yeah, yeah. And I'll just like kind of smile and then look out the window and so I'll just, my go to is just to like, kind of like laugh and agree. Yeah. Just because you're a, I think that you know, it's your survival instincts being like, you know. Be nice. Be nice, portray what I want to receive like this.

We're all good. And there's no misunderstanding. In reality he's like there was a did you did you see that that dog on the side of the road that got hit by the car yeah oh yeah oh yep fuck yeah dude shaking his chair yeah yeah we gotta start doing that dude you and I got to start calling while he's driving like fucking choke him like pin him to his chair and that oh I got you oh kicking the back of his head rest as hard as possible straight out of our book it seems like honestly you and I should we got to start calling ubers just

a random places just so you and I could start like pranking the drivers like shaving cream in a feather on top of his head. We order an Uber to take nobody nowhere, so we just have to make people drive shitty routes. Like we order an Uber where it's like, we're paying for this ride. And so we like give them like, take this teddy bear to this address, because you know, some people delivered things

through Uber sometimes, I guess. You think you'd do it? Or she. I don't know, they're being paid. And a dollar's a dollar. A dollar's a dollar. You know, it's the universal language. The thing is, they don't get,

their pay is fucking god awful. A lot of them have to resort to and it's like frustrating for the consumer of course but like a lot of them have to resort to like multi-apping which is just like using ubereats with DoorDash with whatever other fucking food delivery app there is so you'll get just like stacked orders where like there's someone doing u Eats orders and DoorDash orders as well as another order So like it takes you're watching them like You're watching the driver like on the way to you, but he's taking all these random detours

They're going like the opposite way. Yeah, of course is like frustrating but again Who were the guys doing? I mean bring me burger, you know, like where that. And this asshole's out there trying to make more money? I know! The fuck? This underpaid asshole's trying to make ends meet and make it work?

I ordered Shake Shack at 11.30pm. Where is it? My fries are cold. Great. And now the cheese on top has returned to a solid state. I like leaving that as like a review. It's like my fries were cold and my cheese reformed to a solid state. Two stars. Even if it was half liquid half solid that would have been acceptable,

but it was fully back into a solid state of matter. So I'm sorry I hate people that um I've I see a lot of people online especially that are like this that Towards any like delivery driver they just automatically assume Like the worst Like you assume the worst instead of the worst will like as if like everything was done in bad will. So it's like if they forgot something, they forgot stupid driver. It's like, maybe they forgot my drink. Yeah. Like the restaurants at fault for a lot of like, I think the, the

restaurants, the ones who like puts every Uber eats drivers just literally grabbing the bag. They're grabbing the bag that is doing their job. You're grabbing the bag. That is it. Doing their job, you know? The restaurant has the responsibility of making sure the sauces you put on. At the same time, you also have to think of like, I don't know how any of the backend stuff works,

so maybe you just have like a manager who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, so like the way that the menu is on Uber Eats just kind of like fucks things up, I don't know. I have seen some restaurants that like are open on Uber Eats that are like closed or like some, like the menu items were completely different. But I feel like, I don't know, do you have to,

like does a restaurant have to pass a test to be on ubereats because I see a lot of fucking like bullshit ghost kitchens Yeah, so many ghost kitchens, dude I saw a ghost kit So I actually found out that there's this one spot that operates like 20 to 30 different restaurants on ubereats out of one kitchen They just get orders in and it's just like Italian food, a burger, steak. Make it on the spot. But it's like all these different restaurants.

I think that there should be some sort of emblem given to Ghost Kitchen restaurants. Is there, I guess like. How about a ghost? There's that, that would would be I would like like a Like a like a sheet ghost. Yeah, I would love that. Well people might Misidentify that is maybe the owners of the restaurant are racist Well, just don't have the pointed hood, you know, just be like, okay. Yeah, it's like

Casper's like a weird type of ghost. Yeah Casper. I'm not sure what's going on Casper almost looks like some kind of like Almost almost like a weird type of ghost. Yeah, Casper, I'm not sure what's going on. Casper almost looks like some kind of like, almost like a stage of like an embryo's development in the very beginning. Isn't that not, didn't he die when he was a baby or something? That's like why it looks that way maybe. He kinda looks like some cum. I'm gonna look up, how did,

I don't know where my phone is. It's on the floor over there for some reason. Oh my god. I noticed that. Cause I went to go uh... Casper... Casper is a weird little fellow. Ryan, what are you doing, dude? What was I...

You're looking up Casper? How did Casper die? In 1995 movie Casper the Friendly Ghost, Casper McFadden dies of pneumonia at the age of 12. He dies after a long day of sledding. So you know, a bit far off from being an embryo or a fetus, but still died as a child. So a long day of sledding and many died the same day of pneumonia That was some rapid onset pneumonia dies after a long day of sledding becoming ill and cold as seen in a flashback scene I Had it on VHS and I loved it and I don't remember anything about it

I was always too scared ghosts still creep me out too much Ghosts are scary things dude. They are you know in I And I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm a ghost believer but I also- Especially the ones in Harry Potter dude. Oh dude the ones in Harry Potter. They go through walls, they can rip off their heads and shit just for fun. Moaning Myrtle? Come on dude I'm trying to take a fucking piss here. Nearly headless Nick? I think he, yeah. He's nearly headless. It's cause he only gets a little bit ahead. He gets like, you know, like the start to Yeah, he's nearly headless. It's because he only gets a little bit ahead.

He gets like, you know, like the start to start of a blowjob, you know, maybe a couple kisses on the tip and... Professor McGonagall behave. And she's like, I don't like the Austin Powers references. I'm done. So he got a little bit ahead. Did Maggie Smith pass away or is Maggie Smith still... She passed away. Fuck, dude! My childhood! Childhood ruined! Hagrid dead, McGonagall dead. What next? Radcliffe? Well Dumbledore dead. Snape dead. Snape dead? What the balls? I'm sure there's like some like- Dudley? Dudley was in The Queen's Gambit. Yeah, I've seen him in some stuff.

I gotta say, I finally watched The Queen's Gambit. Was it good? It was all right. I think it was a bit corny. I've seen scenes from it, like- Just a tad corny, that's all well a little more than tad When it came out a roommate Was watching it so I like I'd walk in the room and kind of like stick around for a bit to see what's going on

And I liked what I saw but it was a very small little chunk of it and um it does my favorite thing when portraying Alcoholics every movie or show does it. I did see a scene where she was an alcoholic. Every movie or show where it's like, this person's an alcoholic, it's always the same fucking shit. It's just like, I'm in a bad mood and I'm gonna take a big swig out of a big old bottle and the bottle's gonna be half filled. Oh yeah. You can just... I! I mean there's many alcoholics that do drink straight out of the bottle but... But it's just such a funny, like it's just like a thing that consistently

happens and it's always it doesn't come across as genuine Well it comes across as like, how do we portray they're an alcoholic? Let's get this, let's get it moving let's see, okay, this is easy. I gave them this jug with three X's on it and just have him take a big old big old swig. I guess like in my head, because like in in my head an alcoholic is

there's all there's all forms of alcoholic and stuff, but I the ones that seem more kind of grounded are like the ones, or more grounded to just like what I think would make it seem a little less hokey or something. You know, the type of alcoholic that's kind of just sipping beers throughout the day. Always has to keep that little bit going. Not someone who's always like, you know, that happens probably, that happens,

but I think that happens a lot of the times too at like crash points or big moments in someone's journey through addiction. But like, I don't know, just to betray it that like all they're doing is slogging the deep throat in that bottle every fucking day. That does happen, but it's in every movie. And it's just like like Marvel

does it for where's the high-functioning alcohol representation I want to I want to see the alcoholics just kind of casually sipping beers in their trucks you know guys like me that wake up and have a beer on the way to work want to be represented and in the media and it's just disappointing to see us represented as just fucking just tossing back a fucking bottle of vodka in the morning I just want to coin it. There's like the Disney Swig It's like how do we portray a character as an alcoholic? Let's throw in the Disney Swig Yeah, just has to be a full bottle

And then they go to like chugging the full bottle afterwards. That one sip sets them on the spiral to then start chugging the whole bottle and then cut to like glasses everywhere and empty bottles. So like, well, a lot of alcoholics, it's a... Again, addiction is a spectrum too. Yeah. Again addiction is a spectrum too. Yeah, but a big one is like drinking, once you start drinking, it's like you have to continuously keep going.

It's like more and more and more and more. And that's why a lot of alcoholics will drink liquor because it does it faster and they will just keep going until they're at like a crash out point. There's a- It's never enough until it's too much Harry from friends or whatever I saw some like clip where he was explaining his addiction and his alcoholism

And he was like the he described it. He was probably I think he was debating someone but regardless He was describing it as like the first sip or the first drink is my choice Everything after that is like out It feels like it's just out of my hands like there is that like Ultimatum of the first drink of like that night or something and this is of course him talking about his experience He doesn't speak for all alcoholics or addicts just like any alcoholic or addict doesn't speak for all. I'd say that's pretty accurate though but like in a general way like he's speak for all. I'd say that's pretty accurate though. But like in a general way like he's

making the point of like from his view as an alcoholic this is what it feels like. Where I do recognize that there is a moment where I have a choice to make or there is this ultimatum set in place. And while I am suffering from addiction, there is still that moment where I can escape, even in this one moment, I can escape it, but I choose not to. Which then leads down the night of just drinking and all that. Because alcoholics aren't drinking to like, to get drunk to feel good, they're like drinking to numb. I'm sure it could start, you know, like when you're in college and a lot of people start

like experimenting with alcohol, I'm sure that like college is a big time where... Well it's promoted in college. It's not incentive. The addiction itself I believe is like incentivized in college party culture essentially and it's hard to detect because a young college kid, they're gonna drink, they're gonna have fun. That's kind of like what we've been marketed to kind of see and also young people go and experiment life.

That's just what it's about. But just, I'm trying to remember. It's part of the cultural image of college is getting so drunk that you wake up somewhere else. Yeah, it's the classic image of, this has been shown a lot of time in TV shows and stuff, but the kind of guy who never outgrew college, the guy who at 40 is still drinking like he was in college or still acts like

a college. The first person that comes to mind who's famous that I think of is Bert Kreischer who's like, I'm sorry, you're second Matt. Okay, at least I'm second, thank you. But like him, where he is a father, he is a husband, he is a businessman, blah blah blah blah, entertainer. But he still visually, obviously has a problem with alcohol and won't give it up.

And he's very sophomoric in his approach to alcohol and his mentality. He's like, I just want to have a good time. He's still in that mindset of like, come on guys, come on. It's always the excuse of like, come on, let's just get some drinks. Just lighten up. Do you guys want a drink? It starts off as like, you guys want a drink and then therefore now I'm going to have a drink.

We're all having drinks. Alcoholics like to facilitate. They don't want to be the only one drinking. But it's like stuff like that. and then therefore now I'm gonna have a drink. We're all having drinks. Alcoholics like to facilitate. They don't wanna be the only one drinking. Mm-hmm. But it's like stuff like that. And like not to shit on Birdie Boy. I was just using him as an example

of someone who still has that. Of like how someone can transition from being like the fun party drinker in college and how that can metastasize to adulthood. Well there's also like, I think like a lot of people that are like predisposed to becoming alcoholics or have like trauma from childhood or something. Once they get into college and they start drinking, like they become alcoholics really early and no one else around them sees the signs because it's promoted so regularly. And I know someone that was drinking, they started drinking before college, but college was when they really started drinking.

Because I think they were in a fraternity and it got to the point where eventually they would be, you know, done with a bottle of vodka before noon. And it's like, no one around in college knows how to see the signs really, unless you're like. You don't have life experience, you don't have much, most people don't have much like life experience like when they're like entering college because they're kind of entering that arena

of everyone's, everyone for themselves type of world. I think college is kind of like the first time you're thrust into that. When you enter college, you think that you have life experience and you think that you know how everything works. It's kind of that like freshman mindset where it's like I'm independent now,

I'm an adult, I know how things work. I feel like as an adult- You very quickly learn that you don't know jack shit about how things work. I feel like as an adult, like that just happens consecutively throughout, like that'll just happen. throughout like yeah, yeah, that'll just happen You're like man. I thought I had it together at like 20 something man I thought I had it together at 30 something man

I thought I had it together at 40 like it just keeps going on and on because like I mean Constantly changing Yeah, no, but at the end of the day the Yeah, but at the end of the day Adults are just a lot of them are just act like fucking high schoolers still just with like fucking Dead older skin like I look at our Congress You know I look at people like major Taylor Green Marjorie Whatever the fuck her name is like people like that who are like representing the United States in some way who are just like... Well that feels like middle school.

Yes. High school maybe a little... A little too... A little too... Generous. Bro, how is... Let's just... Ad reads.

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You should take off all your clothes. Okay. Who we do? You should take off all your clothes. Okay. Booby Doo! Buttfucking buttfucker! I'm Pickle Rick! Come on, we're back! We're back from bad baby. We're back, baby Luke you definitely keep in a lot of that silence because I keep all of it you know it's it's the lighting of the fuse until the explosion of the

Hilarious pickle Rick gag that I exactly and the bigger You know the longer the fuse is the bigger the explosion. I think is how it works Can we get an audio clip of Pickle Rick Luke? I'M PICKLE RICK! Fuck yeah dude. Can we get an audio clip of your impersonation recorded in the audio recording app? The audio memo app on the iPhone? Of your interpretation of what Pickle Rick would sound like as Pickle Luke? Pickle Luke?

I'm Pickle Luke. I'm Pickle Luke. And now, if you could, now that we know what that sounds like, could you create a visual representation of Pickle Luke and then have that saying, I'm Pickle Luke. I'm Pickle Luke. Very proud of you, Luke. You've been working so hard.

Oh, fuck. This is the last thing he wants to do right now too bad If I if I if I if I notice him being a little short with me, I'll at least know why he's taller than no exactly I was not talking about how I was talking about in like his mood. I sure like being like Quick to to spark anger always goes over my head Every time like airplanes or kites or someone taller than me. Or turtles if you're scuba diving. Or just swimming like you and I

when we were swimming in Hawaii that one time and the sea turtles were swimming all around us. Dude, I loved when you and I were playing monkey in the middle with one. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine us like fizzing.

Dude, they're. Fizzing don't like it. Imagine us like, frisky f- Hahaha! Rolling it! Okay, they're just talking about being cruel to animals. To being cruel to like, helpless- Like, like shooting skeet? Like, four! Hahaha! Whatever you're supposed to say.

Dude, sea turtles are fucking majestic, I will say. They are beautiful. They are so beautiful. I honestly like, when we were in a Hawaii all those many years ago and and you and I were swimming in the ocean blue and missed the perfect whale breach Fuck I want to talk about that once in a lifetime Moment I have that we missed there was oh we got to hear someone's reaction to it So in with the sea turtles was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. Being that close to such a beautiful creature. It fills my heart with a lot of not just giggles. Not giggling because the sea turtle's funny,

giggling because I'm so overrun with positive emotion that it comes out in giggle form. They're so cute, I love them. But yeah, you and I, we were on our hotel, Yeah, you and I we were on our like hotel like motel Holiday Inn Balcony we're on this the third deck of our balcony right and Because we rented out the whole resort for ourselves

as we tend to do Basically we just hear this guy go oh My god, and we turn around look and we can see out at sea like biggest mist of water the the the end of a incredibly massive splash and he's like did you see that we're like no and he said that a whale like straight just jumped out of the water and just which we see you see their tails yeah I mean you see you see whales here it was a clear it was it was it was a clear clean breach though he said fully out of the water and back down and we missed it we

saw the tail in no pun intended but it still hurts that we missed that dude I don't know why it got me thinking of a just water scares me I guess but like there's this one video I saw recently where it's this guy in a kayak I think he's on the like the coast of Australia or something all sudden you see like a great white fin and it starts to kind of follow him and it like I'm just like that I put my I automatically put myself in that situation I'm like you're because you're in this thing that's like,

ooh, ooh, ooh, they can knock you over, easy. And all of a sudden, the great white disappeared. You just don't see it. And in my head, because you know great whites, when they attack prey, they launch themselves. So in my head, I'm like, my heart would be torn from my chest. I probably pass out due to just like scared anticipation

of just having a great white launch me from a kayak from underneath. I would be terrified, dude. That's why I don't wanna go kayaking in the ocean. I mean, dude, even in South Carolina, my dad would take me kayaking in like Francis Beidler Forest, I think that's what it's called, Beidler Forest. And it's like a swamp. There's alligators there, right?

Huge alligators, like all over the place. Like we would just be kayaking, you'd just see them kind of go by. Because I think what if just like you accidentally were to roll over, then you step on an alligator. The alligator's not gonna be too happy. And believe it or not, the alligator performs better in a fight or flight situation in water than you do. Unfortunately it does.

Because it's literally like a prehistoric beast. They are dinosaurs. They have like... Much like sharks, they have been around forever. They've evolved perfectly to... to... to do this. And like ladybugs. Ladybugs, yes, they have been around since probably

billions of years. They used to be pink though. Really? Mm-hmm. Are you fucking? Okay, dude. Like when you bust out some trivia like that, I'm like maybe Ryan is laying some cool truths on me and I'm all excited to learn about it. Aren't ladybugs actually like invasive species? Sorry, we're getting off topic. Alligators though, like even in a kayak,

I would be scared that it could come up and just, if it wanted to, it could tip you. It could knock you off, it could ram your kayak and send you off balance, and then grab your head as you spin under and then just death roll, you snap your neck, you're done. Have you seen that video of the guy kayaking in the swamp, and then the g head as you spin under and just death roll you snap your neck you're done Have you seen that video the guy kayaking in the swamp and then the Gator just charges him And he then he tips out of his kayak and in a in a freakout the Gator goes Tips over in the water luckily it's like he can stand up. Yeah, it's shallow enough, but get your ankles

Yeah, when I do when my dad would take me kayaking see that would see huge snakes just like perched on branches water moccasins, dude Oh, yeah, you can see water moccasins going through the water Those are those are scary snakes. They're poisonous. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I went to the library as a little kid. They're deadly poisonous They'll kill you not just like I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure they'll kill you deadly poisonous. They'll kill you. Not just like- I'm pretty sure they'll kill you. They had one in a tank at the library one day when I was a kid and I put my face up

to it and it went- That's some Harry Potter shit dude. It scared the fuck out of me. It made me cry. Were you making faces at it? No, I think I just put my face up close to it. I probably was. But it was all coiled up and then it went and I mean

even as a as a 29 year old man that would make me fucking jump backwards yeah you know instinctually I would hope that a normal person would jump no actually last in the way my brain knew that yeah no my brain actually knew there was glass in the way so not even for a split second did I think that I was in any danger so there was no need to jump back. Dumbass. I hate people like that so fucking much. Yeah well, they're here to stay. There's a lot of them.

They're born every day. Geniuses? Yeah, savants. People with higher intelligence than us? People who continue to play with big blocks type of beat. I also want to point out. Is that what they're called? No, Mega Blocks.

Remember those big fun ones? Is that what they're called? Yeah, Mega Blocks. The like plastic ones? Yep, those are the Mega Blocks. We should change the name of our podcast again. Maybe we could just play with Mega Blocks during the episode, Super Mega Bloks.

13 minutes ago you sent me this picture of a guy in a pink hoodie that says, how to eat a femboy's cake. Pay attention to detail. Okay, you left out that it's a screenshot of a TikTok. I'm not sending Ryan these instructions on how to eat fimboy bussy dude Like you got to say that it's a screenshot of a fucking tick-tock I'm just I'm just I was just informing the audience what I saw I It made me giggle and I and I would like to inform the audience that you might of throughout this episode if you are a

Podcast watcher you might have thought that I had an erection. No, these pants just really have like a lot more material than is needed so it's like the first episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry he has the same problem and he goes to take his his wife's friend goes to a movie with him because they're both free. It's okay you had an erection. Yeah and she thinks that he got around. No, I did not. It was the pants, it was the tent. I know an erection, Larry. It was an erection.

And this is not an erection. If you'd like to feel it, just to prove to the audience. Yeah. See? Oh. No. No. No. No. Well, now it's very uh...

Yeah, but you know dude, overall, alligators, scary ass beasts, they do be like that. Scary. You and I love pranking the working class. And you can support us on Patreon and watch an extended version of this podcast. Well, not an extended version, just a little extra, like 15 to whatever minute episode of us just continuing to talk post-regular podcasts. And we get spicy.

That's where we spill the tea, as they say. But if you look on screen right now, these are the names of such beautiful people. These are all randomly generated names. We don't actually have this many supporters, but if we did, we'd throw your name in there too. It's good marketing though, it's great marketing. Oh, it looks like we have more, and they're like,

I wanna be a part of that. But thank you all for watching and tuning in. We hope that you are just ripe with anticipation for the next episode, as we are. Oh, we can't wait to record it. We're going to record it probably, definitely this week. I think tomorrow. I think tomorrow as well.

I think tomorrow is when we're recording it. Well go watch an episode of your favorite TLC show and put what you learned in the comments section below. And Luke, if you could just play us out with another Pickle Luke. I'm Pickle Luke. Thank you. Fuckfest 2025 at Meat Market and then the address, Atlanta, Georgia. Enter from the rear. Butt Naked Friday, Hot Boy Saturday, Riskay Sunday.

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