Sword and Scale - Episode 162

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Ryan Lawrence appeared to be a caring and dutiful father, taking his 21-month-old daughter Maddox with him as he delivered pastries throughout Syracuse, New York, and holding her hand through a rare form of cancer she was diagnosed with before her first birthday. But unbeknownst to everyone, an even more terrible storm is gathering on the horizon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sort and scale contains adult themes and violence and is not intended for all audiences Listener discretion is advised Having to um to live this life that I've created for myself is hell. How exists? It's real. I know that and I've created it for myself. You don't have to die I create it for myself if you don't have to die. Hello and welcome to season 7 episode 162 of Sword and Scale. to let you know that we have an app now. If you haven't heard about it because maybe you're listening to this on the regular feed or maybe you missed it or not on our social media for some reason. Go check it out right now.

If you have an Apple device and iPhone and iPad, go on over to the Apple App Store, download it, try it out. Make sure you're on Wi-Fi also and that you're upgraded to the latest operating system before you try to download it. But let us know what you think. We've spent a lot of time working on it and we think you'll like it a lot. Oh, and one more thing in case you missed it again, we also now support PayPal and with the introduction of the new app, we support Apple Pay. So there's no reason not to hop on board and try out Sword and Scale Plus today.

Just go over to Sword and Scale.com slash plus or once again download the app and you can sign up right within it. Alright, that's enough of a sales pitch. Now it's time to sit back, strap in and enjoy the show. Thanks for watching! Destiny USA is a six-story shopping complex in Syracuse, New York. It's a mega mall with hundreds of stores and restaurants, a movie theater, a Dave and Busters arcade, and even an indoor amusement park. Visited by over 25 million guests every year, it's easy to imagine the promenades and escalators bustling with people carrying shopping bags, laughing with their children,

and dreaming of the impossibly expensive clothing in the windows. Just outside is the serene unandogga lake, along with a well-maintained bike path that follows unandogga creek as it flows from the south shore of the lake to downtown Syracuse. It's a popular spot for tourists and local joggers alike, a calming place to clear your mind and walk your dog on a crisp spring morning. These two places, destiny USA and the Onandaga Creek Walk, are unbeknownst to most sites of unspeakable tragedy

that occurred over one horrific weekend in February 2016. Maybe it's better that way. They shop for relatives at the mall and walk along the creek walk with their friends. People they think they know. But the scary truth is this, the ones we love the most are the ones capable of hurting us the most. When Ryan Lawrence and Morgan Forster first met, they were both working part-time at a

tea store within the Destiny USA shopping mall. They connected over their love of nature and the outdoors, and according to friends, Morgan became pregnant while they were dating. Ryan and Morgan soon married, and in the months that followed, their two families came together to nurture and coddle their beautiful baby girl, Maddox, Mary Lawrence. Ryan and Morgan's life together seemed at first to be typical, with a rented house, shared car, and a revolving set of low-wage retail jobs to make ends meet. It wasn't a glamorous Hollywood lifestyle, but it was husband and wife, a dog, a baby, wife, a dog, a baby, a roof overhead, love, trust, family. But before baby Maddox's first birthday, a singular observation would knock this family

completely unconscious, the type of concussive hit you barely recover from. Suddenly, the world around you is too bright, like a high-pitch ringing in your ear that won't let you concentrate and just won't go away. Recently, Ryan and Morgan noticed that one of Maddox's brown eyes was strangely turning darker. Doctors confirmed the terrible diagnosis. Hello, my name is Carol Shields. I work on the oncology services co-director at the Will's Eye Institute in Philadelphia.

So on the oncology service at Will's, we deal with patients who have cancers in the eye. There are many different types of cancers that someone can manifest within the eye. But the most common cancer that we see in children is called retinoblastoma. Retinoblastoma. As a parent, you're supposed to be trying to understand strange words from your baby, not your doctor. So, the good news is, your baby, not your doctor. So the good news is this cancer is not that common.

In the United States, we may see it in about 200 or 300 children. The bad news is it can threaten vision, lead to blindness, and it can also lead to death of the child. So this is a very serious cancer. They often ask, how are you gonna treat this cancer? How do you get back into the eye to treat this cancer?

We have various different ways to treat retina-blastoma. One way is we give chemotherapy. Chemotherapy through the vein to kill the cancer in the eye. Another way is we can give chemotherapy through an artery to kill the cancer in the eye, a third way to give radiation. And in some cases, unfortunately, it's necessary to remove the eye to save the child's life. Parents say the most painful sound in the world is hearing their baby cry. We're still.

Is not knowing what you can do to stop it. Imagine then hearing your baby as cancer will need chemotherapy, radiation, and the possible removal of the eye. Now, there are regular trips from Syracuse and Central New York to Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. That's a four-hour drive in each direction. in Central New York to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. That's a four-hour drive in each direction. And between those drives, Ryan and Morgan watch powerlessly, as baby Maddox cries through hours long chemotherapy sessions she can't possibly comprehend. Ryan's job delivering pastries and working as a gas station attendant Ryan's job delivering pastries and working as a gas station attendant are barely keeping the family together.

Now toss in some medical bills, gas costs, and lost wages, not to mention a healthier, more expensive eating regimen to help baby Maddox's chance of recovery. There is some support from family and friends during this time. A GoFundMe page set up by Ryan's sister manages to raise more than $9,000. $2,000 more than what was requested. But what good is that money when you have to soothe your baby who can't eat hours before an invasive treatment? For Ryan, another psychological factor is quietly taking its toll. Eight years prior, he lost his mother Mary to kidney cancer.

Reeling from the collapse of seemingly his entire life. Ryan also manages to get his driver's license suspended and take on another $1,000 fee he can't possibly pay. The pressure is mounting, and something is going to give way. It's just a question of what will break first. For the moment, there is a glimmer of hope. Baby Maddix, it seems, is responding to her cancer treatment. Four out of eight sessions down, and Ryan and Morgan are told that Baby Maddox will recover. Yes, she'll require exams for several years to make sure the cancer does not return, but Baby Maddox should grow up to lead a long and healthy life.

It should have been a time for celebration, but as if things couldn't possibly be more emotionally taxing on the Lawrence family, their dog Trooper has also fallen ill. Affording a veterinarian to euthanize her is out of the question. And so, lover of nature Ryan takes Trooper to a favorite place in the woods and tries to comfort her. Then, he compresses her airway until she dies. It's unclear if Ryan ever shares this terrible moment with his wife Morgan. And unfortunately, the sad and unsettling scene is but a harbinger of the disturbing events

that will follow. 21-month-old Maddox Lawrence is said by her relatives to be strong and tough, with the blood of lions. She makes little monster noises, loves reading and dancing to all different kinds of music. Michael Forster, grandfather to Baby Maddox and father to Morgan recalls what would become the last happy weekend spent with the entire family. Everyone had gathered together in Connecticut, and Baby Maddox was simply by her very presence,

making everyone around her feel better. We have what seemed like a wonderful time. Everybody seemed to enjoy themselves, including Ryan. I remember commenting to my wife, how special this weekend was, to have all of our children and grandchildren together under one roof. It was enjoyable to see our grandchildren playing together. Robin spoke of a plan she had for

the futures. I think she wanted to experience as our grandchildren grew up and about how great it would be to see their life unfold. As the weekend ended morning, Ryan and Maddox had to return home while me and my wife stayed in Connecticut with our children for the week. Morning was starting her new job Monday morning and weeks before I had spent the day with Ryan Rochester just the two of us. On the ride to Rochester, Ryan explained how he felt. It was a waste of time to find a new job with more hours. He reasoned that at his current pay rate, more hours didn't actually equate to a lot more money for his family. He also stated that it would mean more time away from Maddox and that he wasn't willing to give up his time with her. I

felt from this conversation that Ryan had deep love for his daughter and that he cherished his time with her. So in response, I agreed with him. daughter and that he cherished his time with her. So in response, I agreed with him. I felt that he should spend the time with Maddox and not chase after a few extra dollars. I believe that my daughter, her husband, and Maddox were on a good course. I also believe that Ryan truly loved her. His wife and his daughter. I was completely wrong and completely deceived." Michael Sennon-law Ryan, by all appearances, was a loving father, who brought his baby Maddox everywhere. He was the type of father who understood his daughter liked a touch of

honey with her milk, and was seemingly present throughout her entire cancer struggle. and was seemingly present throughout her entire cancer struggle. Why should anyone even consider questioning the integrity of someone who's been through all that? me for the call. There was only a request for my presence. Dad, I need you to come to my house. Right now! And Morgan explained, I confirmed that I was on my way and I went to media to help my daughter. Arriving at her apartment, I have to see my daughter totally stressed out and a police officer speaking to her. Our lying who instantly turned upside down. Morgan had also started working at a boutique shop in Destiny USA. As was customary, Ryan and Baby Maddox dropped Morgan off for her shift around 4pm, with

the expectation that they would be back to pick her up when her shift ended at 10pm. But on the night of Saturday, February 20th, 2016, Ryan and Baby Maddox did not return. Instead, Morgan received a text from Ryan explaining that the car was in the parking lot and the keys were left inside. Morgan expected to find her husband and daughter back at the house, but when she returned, she found a note

left by Ryan stating that he might harm Maddox and himself. Sources also suggest he left an 8 minute video in which he says, quote, I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I want you to have the life that you deserve. I'm leaving and I'm taking Max with me. Max is a nickname for Baby Maddox. Our team was unable to retrieve audio of Morgan's Panicked 911 call to police at 11.23 pm that night. But after reviewing Ryan's text and video messages, investigators determined him to be emotionally unstable.

Concluding that, the situation should be taken seriously. after hour we just waited continually answering questions from police while more than replay the events of the night to each new officer she met, waiting with more and then seeing her grief was a cockroaching. The thoughts that we had to be reminded were stifling. The thoughts of Mike if that's a scrammanned And on her, this 21 month old baby, who was now in an unfamiliar place, I had questions. Was she with strangers? How was she being treated? Was she safe? How scared was she? And then I just wanted her back in my arms.

I wanted her to be with her mother. I wanted her to feel safe and loved again. I wanted her to be with her mother. I wanted her to feel safe and loved again. I wanted her home. I was confused and scared that I might never see my granddaughter again." An amber alert was issued. Missing child, 21 months old, approximately two feet tall, blonde hair, brown eyes, last scene wearing a white shirt with pink collar and brown puppies, pink pants, blue coat with pink interior,

brown suede shoes, grain it hat with pom-poms. With the help from authorities, Baby Maddox's mother Morgan makes a plea to her missing husband. Brian, is your last name? Please just bring Maddox home. Maddox, I love you, me. Ryan, please just please call. We just want to know that the both of you are safe.

The whole family loves you. The whole family wants you both home. And we just want to know that you guys are in a good place and we'd love to see you both as soon as possible. The sadness in her eyes is unquestionable as she steps away from the podium into the arms of her mother which tries to comfort her. Online conspiracy theorists took the time to raise questions about Morgan's sincerity and possible involvement. Since, you know, that's the kind of shitty world we live in. The city of Syracuse became emotionally invested in reuniting Morgan with her baby. Highway signs and cell phones broadcasted the Amber Alert.

And for more than two days, TV and other media outlets inform the public on the ongoing search. Everyone was desperate for where to even begin looking. Day two for an Amber Alert for a 21-month-old missing from Syracuse. Police need your help locating meddox Lawrence and her father. They believe her father abducted her on Saturday.

Nice. Police say Ryan Lawrence didn't pick his wife up from work at Destiny USA. Maddox's mother, Morgan Lawrence, got a text message from Ryan stating that her car had been left in the parking lot with the keys in the ignition when Morgan got home. She found a note from Ryan. In the message, it just states that he is taking Maddox with him. Also, in the message, his demeanor and his actions

indicate that cause some questionable concern of his mental status for us. That leads us to believe that there might be some danger to the people involved, especially Maddox. Monday, February 22, it's approaching 60 hours since the amber alert was issued, when police receive a call from someone in the nearby Baldwin'sville area. A 911 call reporting a man matching Lawrence's description

came from a worker at the thrifty shopper on Downer Street. That was around 4.30 yesterday afternoon. At the time, he was wearing wearing a disguise trying to conceal himself. He had on a wig a baseball hat, sunglasses, and when he went into the thrifty shopper, someone working there recognized him because she had been watching all this unfold on the news. Police found him walking along Downer Street a short time later. She told me she followed him down towards right ahead on town street and the police came and. They said that they apprehended him and they weren't sure.

I guess they did ask for his ID. This is what an officer told us and it was him. We seemed a little off, but I just took it as like I said, I thought he was homeless because he smoked like fire, like he was in front of a campfire. According to police testimony, officers did not immediately recognize the man walking on the north side of the road. He appeared to have long hair coming down from his knit hat

and was wearing a coat while carrying a comforter. He also had an orange hiking backpack, camouflage pants, and plastic grocery bags covering his black hiking boots. When asked for his name, the man said it was Arlo Rivers, and that he'd spent the night under the freeway overpass. Of course, he didn't have any identification, and when asked for his birthday, he indicated he was born on August 22nd, 1989, and that he was 21 years old. The math didn't add up, so he corrected to August 22nd, 1991. The police had no records of an Arlo rivers born that day, but it did match the birthday

of the man everyone was looking for. Ryan Lawrence. Police asked Ryan to remove his knit hat, and when he did, it was clear he was also wearing a wig. Ryan's response, and I quote, you got me. Also, in Ryan's possession, Campingir, a handcuff key, and a book entitled, A Hundred Deadly Skills, which is a practical survival guide written by a retired Navy SEAL. Officers then asked Ryan if Baby Maddix was in his orange backpack.

He said no, and police verified the child was not there. Michael Forster, grandfathered a baby Maddox and father to Ryan's wife Morgan, continues. rose up. Where is the baby? Where did it ask? Our hope was immediately stifled. They didn't have medical, only Ryan panicked, except for her right. Where is she? Is she okay? Does someone have her? Is she alone? It was February, the high temperature that day was 30 degrees, the low is 15 degrees. We feared she might be alone, right in the sense smell of smoke like a campfire. We worried Max could be outside still, or somewhere without a heat source. We just wanted her to be found. We couldn't wait to see her and hug her again. I thought it can't be long

now until we are reunited. This poor baby, who knows what she's been through. And then we received the worst news we have ever heard in our entire lives. During Ryan Lawrence's interviews with police, he at first stated that he had given his daughter to a couple he had known for a while by the names of Chris and Taylor, and that they were all out of the country safe. Investigators continued to impress upon Ryan, their primary goal was locating exactly where Baby Maddox was and ensuring her safety. Detective Mark Roussen, regularly asked Ryan about where he'd been in the last couple of days,

and the hopes that it would lead the police to Maddox's location. Finally, at 4.30am on Tuesday morning, Ryan agreed to take Detective Rusen to the various sites he'd been visiting. Amongst other locations where Ryan had left personal belongings, including strangely a homemade kayak, made of cardboard and plastic wrap. They reached an abandoned house where Ryan said he had started a fire to keep warm and had stayed there a couple of nights earlier. Though Detective Roussen attempted to build a rapport with Ryan of the course of their

hours long conversation, he still did not know for sure whether Maddox was alive or dead. But in the parking lot, just outside the abandoned house, Detective Roussen finally broke through. He said to Ryan, quote, the story about Chris and Taylor is not true, is it? Ryan responded, no. And wouldn't look the detective in the eye. Ryan, detective Roussen asked again, where is Maddox? Ryan says, you won't look at me the same way once I tell you what I did with her body.

What a rotten day here in Syracuse. We have just learned from Syracuse police that a body that is believed to be 21 month old, Maddox Lawrence has been pulled from the inner harbor where we have been reporting all morning long where we have been, where members of the community have turned out, some of them with their children, concerned mothers, hoping against hope that this would end a different way, but it is just not so. Let's take you down to the inner harbor, just along the Creek Walk, this place that brings so many people

in Central New York joy, one of the absolute best places to walk your dog or just take a walk with a friend and catch up. We'll now be etched in people's minds as the place where the body of this little girl was found. According to court documents, New York State trooper and driver Joshua Cross was advised as to where Ryan had put the remains of baby Maddox. Arriving at the edge of Unandogga Creek, the diver observed some ash and drag marks on

the ice and saw a knife along with what appeared to be a ribbone embedded in the ice. The diver entered the waters, and reaching under the ice itself felt a cinder block. The water was so unclear he could hardly see anything. He then moved his hand along the block, feeling something soft. Unable to ascertain just exactly what it was. He put the soft item against his face mask, observing the remains of who he believed to be the missing Maddox Lawrence. 2016 Ryan Lawrence admitted to killing his baby girl. I cannot bear how a father is able to take the life of their own child. The killing of Maddox totally ultimately said to me,

but it has also created me an overwhelming feeling of loss. The former ex was murdered. And my days off, Morgan would drop her daughter up for the day. My daughter would announce when she saw me. Hey, look who it is. It's your best friend. I would feel so honored. I wasn't just grandpa.

I was Maddox's best friend. I would play with Maddox when we watched episode of Sophia I. Then we would play Tea Party, it was one of her favorite things to do. She loved this American girl, bell table, Shanners and Tisa. She would actually sit on a small chair and play with the cups on the table.

And then we would just do whatever man's want to. Of course, I would tickle her every chance I got. Her laugh was so hearty, her smile so big. She would look at me with her brown eyes and belt my heart. I missed those days. I feel robbed. Yeah. Okay. The The loss of baby Maddox impacted the entire community of Syracuse, even those who did

not know the Lawrence family wanted them to be reunited. The city expressed their mourning by leaving items alongside the popular on Andaga Creek walk, where her remains were uncovered. Later that same night, a memorial and vigil was held to honor the life that was taken so suddenly and under such incomprehensible circumstances. Maddie was a somber mood here tonight. There was nothing but silence and tears as people came together to honor the life of little baby Maddox.

Now, you can see behind the hundreds of people have been coming off and dropping off balloons and stuffed animals, candles and flowers coming to this spot along the inner harbor here with special for families because they say it was the last place little Maddox was seen. Now we talked to one woman tonight who was close friends with both Ryan

and Morgan. Ryan and Morgan both love Maddox so much. They went through real lot when they found out she had cancer and they've done. Only anything to help her as far as I've ever seen. It's a really unfortunate that Ryan had this mental break and that this is what came out of it. Ryan's sister also released this statement.

The Lawrence family would like to express their extreme heartbreak and despair over the loss of this beautiful baby. It was our granddaughter, niece, precious ray of sunshine in all of our lives. What we saw of Ryan is that he loved Maddox immensely, and so we are struggling to make sense out of this tragedy, but we are not successful and know that we will never be. We want Morgan to know that we simply can't begin to articulate how much pain we feel for you, and our love for you is unwavering. With Ryan and custody and the legal system turning along, there were still so many lingering questions.

What drove Ryan to kidnap and murder his own baby daughter? Were there warning signs we somehow missed. Or was it just a cold-blooded act of evil? Honodaka County District Attorney Bill Fitzpatrick is here live on CBS 5, his first TV interview on this awful, awful case. Do we know why Ryan Lawrence did this? He alluded to a little bit of the why in his statement. I don't always, you know, believe individuals when they get into the why. I know that, you know, the irony here is that Maddox was a fighter that she had been fighting a very unusual form of cancer.

Of the eye. And all indications were that she had been fighting a very unusual form of cancer and all indications were that she was successful, but it was expensive, the treatment, and it was time consuming. If that contributed to her demise, I don't know. But he has in some way alluded to that in his statements so far. In this statement, we're not going into too much detail. His statements allude to almost a sense of jealousy about the attention that this child was getting as opposed to the attention that he was getting. But we'll hear more about that or the strile, obviously.

That's hard to hear. While so many struggled to comprehend the why, others wondered if the answer lingered in understanding the what and the how. With the autopsy reports in, as well as results from a mental evaluation confirming Ryan was mentally competent to stand trial, some of those gruesome details from Ryan's confession to detective Mark Roussen started to come to light. The Unandaga Creek Walk was not the only area of investigation. Officers were also gathering at a site 25 miles south in a place called Labrador Hollow

Unique Area. It's another popular destination with several hiking trails, fishing areas, and a newly renovated boardwalk sprawling throughout the freshwater wetlands. Given Ryan and Morgan's shared love of nature and their proximity to this diverse animal habitat, it's easy to imagine them pushing baby Maddox and a stroller along the wooden planks, pointing at the birds and fish in their natural environment. Earlier that day, as Ryan retraced his steps with Detective Mark Roussen, they arrived at a scene about a quarter of a mile into the woods near a peaceful landmark called Tinker

Falls. Upon arrival, Detective Roussen saw an aluminum can, a spray paint bottle, and matted down snow turned to ice. There was also a fire pit with burned logs. Remember, when Ryan was first arrested, the good Samaritan who called 911 said Ryan smelled like a campfire. It was here, hours earlier, where Ryan made his silent prayer. God, if I'm not meant to kill her, make her stumble. And then, with a swing of a wooden baseball bat, Ryan ended 20-month-old Maddox-Mary Lawrence's

life, striking her in the back of the head. He then burned his baby daughter's body in the makeshift fire pit, along with the wooden baseball bat for three whole hours, occasionally pouring gasoline onto the crackling embers. A remains were then driven 20 minutes north to the Unindogger Creek Walk, where he attempted to obscure them in the ice waters. It was a mile away from Destiny USA, this story shopping mall where Ryan dropped the family car off for his wife Morgan and proceeded on foot before spending the night under the high-o'-wath of Boulevard Bridge.

Though it would not be revealed until later, it's learned that Ryan brought a sheet of plastic to the murder scene, along with camping and survival supplies including spray paint to change the color of his skin. Ryan explained that his original intention was to make it look like Maddox had simply run away. Then after killing Maddox, his plan was to commit suicide somewhere along the Ohio River, and hopes his body would make its way to the Caribbean, a site where his mother's ashes were dispersed

eight years prior. While there is some legal questioning as to whether or not Ryan's confession can be used in court, it is ultimately deemed admissible. The legend that you, Ryan Lawrence, been over 18 years of age, you know, over 18 years old, under about the 20th day of February, 2016, committed kidnapping in the first degree, and that in the core summit and furtherance of such crime, you intentionally caused a death of 22 month old Maddler. To win it is more specifically a life set after adopting Maddler from Landau County.

The defendant, a lawfully robber, to a remote, it's included location in courtly count in it, and intentionally struck Maddler in the head with a wooden baseball bat resulting in blood-formed trauma caused her death. That you then place her body and the baseball bat in a prepared wire tin for owls. Afterwards, the defendant of Maddie's Lawrence's charm remains consisting of her head torso in parts of her leg, in place, emanating pain, and transported them back to one of the

other counties, hiding the remains to a cement block in dispose of those remains and out of dog and creep. All of those allegations true. Yes sir. How do you plead? Even after this guilty plea today, people who have followed this case are left with a burning question. Why this happened? Why even after this guilty plea today, can we not answer that question? Well, at this point in time, he's pled guilty, but we still have sentencing in a couple of weeks to address.

At this point in time, I can't get into all the details of that, but I can tell you that there was with the notice that we gave the district attorney an extreme emotional disturbance possible defense. And what that indicated was there were certain events that boron as emotions that brought him to this point. As you may realize, all the information we have about Ryan was that he was a loving and deutiful father prior to the time this incident occurred.

So a snap? Yeah, so to speak, a snap that caused him to do things that were extremely into, put it bluntly, completely outside of his normal character, and his normal relationship with his daughter. So it was a different person. And almost so to speak. Well, almost out of a overly concerned for his daughter, if you can understand that type of situation that was going through his mind. Prior to this event, he was an overly concerned, you know, I want to make sure we get this right. I think overly concerned father. He was an overly concerned, I want to make sure we get this right. Overly concerned father. He was a completely responsible, dutiful and loving father. He spent most of his time away from work

with his child and taking care of her while his wife was working. He was that type of father, kind of attached at the hip. The day that Maddox's body was found in the inner harbor, the district attorney sat right here in that chair and told me that they were theorizing on a motive about jealousy, that the child had survived this rare cancer of the eye, and that Ryan Lawrence may have somehow felt like so much of the attention rightfully so had been put on Maddox that he was in some way what feeling left out. Do you know anything about that? What I can tell you about that is nothing whatsoever and what I've found and what I've looked into

and what I've learned with respect to this matter indicates that that was the situation at all. It was more of a concern for the type of life that Maddox may have experienced as you went on. And again, those details I can't get into at this point in time. But that was his concern out of a love in his mind for Maddox. But that was his concern out of a love in his mind,

formatics, and that's what brought this about. I know that that's difficult to understand. At Ryan's set in a couple of weeks later, members of Baby Maddox's extended family grieve publicly as they share their perspective of how the past months have unfolded. Ryan appears emotional, shedding his own tears as each relative shames him, or what he has done. Morgan, the mother of Maddox, bravely faces the husband

she thought she knew. At times, she's shaking, showing remarkable restraint as she fights through the unfathomably difficult emotions to express the utter horror she will have to live with forever. I don't so be under any as well. They can use feelings that are extremely loneliness and sadness. This situation also leaves me questioning my own judgment of other intentions in their character. Very my daughter alone was a single, almost howling experience I've had from your knowing. That was what the hands of the man that I once loved.

And trusted her heart. No, I'm sorry that was with the hands of the man that everyone's loved entrusted to her house She makes me look for Pots of what Ryan is done. I Can never again be sure that I know someone for the truly ours There are anyone's his actions affected the lives of others as well Next was love by everyone she. She was strong and inspiring. She's missed greatly by everyone who knew her. And also her very close to her,

such as our family and her heartbroken and outreach. I wanted to be known for who she was and I want to be known for the love of the Monument one that I truly was. As her is all of grand actions, I need for him to spend for rest of his life time in prison. I fear for my safety, and I fear for the safety of all his pure respect in the community.

He's deceived everyone in this life with ease. And he's been trying to find all of us for his actions. He's care-added and believable when he wants to manipulate situation in his favor. Before it for over four, four over four and five years from now, he may see our more school, he may be bagged to be released, he may come He's 24. He's a monster. And I truly don't really feel like I was getting the chance. Don't give him that chance. This is the most horrible thing I've ever endured in my life. What I want you to know, you will not dread me now.

I'm a prize of both this and I'm an honor in my own life. You took me as his only chance, Edel-Aprin, therefore you don't deserve another chance at your own. When it's Ryan's turn to speak, he opens within apology to everyone who loved Maddox, saying that he doesn't expect forgiveness, and that his sorrow and pain for the loss of his daughter comes from the deepest depth of his being. the turn to describe what I feel. What I can say is that I never felt such strong emotions towards anything in my life that I ever wanted to love from that, and now I'm completely distrapped by the overwhelming grief in English for what I've done. I was never jealous of my daughter, both her family's no-oil or Linux. If anything, I only wanted more for

her. Next was always at the top of my list. It is constantly to this day, the focal point of my thoughts and actions since she first came into my life. I'll never overcome this feeling of loss. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how I got through such a dark, rational state. She was my life's purpose and making her happy with my job. Such strong feelings of love, however, brought equally strong feelings of fear and uncertainty when it came to my responsibility for happiness.

Although I blame no one else for my acts as the pressures to save to give her into the perfect life, built up, I also struggled against violence ways from negative emotions every day, bearing witness to the views that has and many of my wife and daughters' interactions. Yet no reason and no psychological diagnosis seemed possible to me to have meaning to commit this act against my very nature, taking with one thing I love most. Although these pressures led me to this something cool

that I cannot now make sense to what I did. There's no valid reason for why our dog or medics had to die. Now a second goes by when I don't wish I could take that what I did and that medics would still be alive. I pray all the time that she's in a better place than that god and my mother are watching over her. The Morgan and all those who love her, I hope that from my plea and acceptance for responsibility, you can find at least some measure of the closure of the pain I've inflicted. This was, and it is without question,

the worst act I'll ever commit. I recognize that no one with myself can be blamed for the citrusity, and I will always be traumatized, knowing and responsible for such incomprehensible actions. Although I accept this punishment, nothing can be worse. Nothing can be worse than my own spare glass of med, and I regret that I'm not alone in it feeling. I love my daughter with all my heart.

The only thing that can match my love in law super now is dreadful pain and remorse. I feel for committing such a terrible crime. Sorry. The hearing lasts just over an hour, at which point the judge states that Ryan is sentenced to 25 years to life. Ryan waves his right to appeal the sentence, but sometime around his 50th birthday in the year 2041, he will appear before a parole board that could decide to let him back into the real world. But until then, Morgan, her family, and indeed much of Syracuse will continue going on,

day by day, as best as they can. A central New Yorker who was present the day baby Maddox's body was removed from the waters of Unanduga Creek helped organize a memorial along the waters edge. I was struck with many emotions at the time and every time I subsequently ran by I became angry and and very sad and and tearful. So in order to take care of those emotions and kind of bring them some positivity I wanted in a some way if we could to try to reclaim this space, reclaim this area and reconsecrate it after it's been defiled by this act. It's a very touching time for me and for all of us at our

Paris that a hundred people really did show up today and so we joined together and we hope this is a small act and to help our community heal itself. Breaking off from the paved walkways of the Unandaga Creek Walk, in the same location where items of sympathy continued being placed in the months that followed, a brick path extends to a small circular area. At the center, a wooden park bench rests as a permanent memorial, basing the creek not far from where baby Maddox's remains were recovered. A stone plaque in the ground reads,

Maddox's lorits, rest in the arms of the Lord. As this episode is being written in March of 2020, an active Facebook group with nearly 1,500 members called and memory of baby Maddox is still posting pictures of the bench memorial. March 19th, a video of a bright red cardinal is posted with the message stating, Today is the first day of spring. I know everyone is going through a lot of stress and anxiety over the virus, so I thought I would share something that will bring you peace, comfort, and make you

smile. Welcome spring. God bless everybody in this group. May everyone stay healthy. Fly high, Maddox. A month after sentencing, a reporter from Syracuse.com was granted a video interview with Ryan Lawrence at Elmera Correctional Facility. Ryan agreed to it in the hopes that it would prompt other troubled people to seek professional help.

I'm not alone. I have my family. We're being in the cell with nothing but my thoughts is tormenting. I can't close my eyes. I can't sleep. I just having to live this life that I've created for myself is hell. How exists? It's real. I know that. And I've created it for myself. You don't have to die. During their two-hour conversation, the reporter refers to some compelling information that came to like during Ryan's interviews with two different psychiatrists.

We've mentioned that Ryan's mother was diagnosed with kidney cancer and passed away eight years prior to baby Maddox's death. We also suggested that Ryan's plan after murdering his daughter was to kill himself somewhere along the Ohio River, hoping his body would reach the Caribbean where his mother's ashes were scattered. It seems that Ryan's year-long grieving for his mother had recently manifested in a much more sinister manner. You see, a week before he kidnapped and murdered baby Maddox, Ryan claims to have heard the voice of his mother Mary. She told him that he should give baby Maddox to her, so that she could help solve his family's problems. In that moment, did you again hear from your mother or God telling you to bring her here, do you think that would come back or is that just moving before the debt came up?

Yeah, I mean I heard what I thought was my mom that day. Saying, let me take over, give her to me. And then I said, no, like, I want to take care of her. Like, this is my job. But then, some other voice said, you're selfish, you're selfish for keeping me here. While you're suffering, while I'm working and suffering, like, next doesn't deserve this. Who's worse was that?

I don't know. Ironically, Ryan's mother Mary was a social worker who spent most of her life helping families who were the victims of violent crimes. She was unfortunately thrust into this noble career following the murder of her brother in 1990. When she and Ryan's father were separated, Ryan was 14 years old, and reacted to the pain and loss by hurting himself further. Ryan would mutilate himself by burning his skin with heated metal and other objects. When Ryan's mother died two years later, the self-abuse only got worse.

After her passing, Ryan burned a heart onto his chest with incense, and on what would have been his mother Mary's 59th birthday, Ryan murdered Maddox Mary, the daughter he'd named in hopes of continuing his mother's legacy. I told her, Max, we're going on another trip. I'm going to see you soon. Then you just got something to take care of real quick. I told her, I love doing issues that best baby in the whole world. Will you cry? Yeah, I was crying.

Say anything or do anything either. I really want to talk about this. Ryan also tells the reporter, quote, I had this notion that if I could cremate her body, I would be releasing her energy into the world faster. End quote. Though, he told psychiatrists that he burned Maddox's body to reduce his chances of being prosecuted for the murder. So yeah, that too, I guess. I'm not the sponsor that people try to perturb me to be on the media.

What I did was horrible. What I did was wrong. What I did was unfair. What I did was wrong, what I did was unfair, what I did was legal, yeah, and evil, but it wasn't me, it wasn't me, it wasn't. It was the storm, it was this madness that it was taking over. Ryan, who recently burned a zodiac symbol into his hand and is said to have scars on his legs from heated broken bottles.

Also revealed that he had taken babymatics to the same location near tinker falls a day before the murder and couldn't go through with it. I don't think so because what I was trying to do was not evil. I wasn't trying to hurt anybody. I was trying to save Max. I was trying to do was not evil. I wasn't trying to hurt anybody. I was trying to save Max, I was trying to save my life. I was trying to save my family from hurting, from struggling. In the most selfish act I've ever done, I thought irrationally that it was going to be the most selfless thing I would ever do. And you realize how crazy that sounds.

I mean, yes. It's hard to imagine a pain worse than learning your loved one has been diagnosed with cancer. To survive such misfortune takes an emotional and physical toll on everyone. But the only way to get through it is to stick together. And the right is, or something you're not telling us about what caused this death. It's just something that you're keeping in. Sort of. That's it. I want to talk about it.

Back when Ryan was sentenced, the judge solemnly reads the following quote, a wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That's how awful the loss is. In times of crisis, which, let's be honest, we're all experiencing in one form or another these days, finding your footing and supporting others around you is the most important thing

you can do. Ryan Lawrence was a man fortunate enough to have a network of resources to help him through the most dreadful of scenarios. And yet, Ryan selfishly felt it was up to him alone to decide when his daughter should die. That does it for this episode of Sword and Scale, we hope you've enjoyed it. If you have any comments, questions or suggestions, please send them our way. Just give us a call at 9-5-4-889-6854. And if you're international, put a plus one in front of that. Thanks for listening and until next time, stay safe.

Hey Sword and Scale crew, my name is Nate Laws. I'm from Seoul, 9-6. This is Work up from just want to give you shout out and just Big ups for the job that you do on a consistent basis, especially Mike Boote, amen. I start listening a while back and actually been listening a lot episodes and the way you tell the story, the way you bring it to life and it's just the e ear increase in this man. It's something I look forward to. I'm so in scale, so in scale daily, so in scale plus man, appreciate everything that

I do because you're doing your thing. Play that. Hey, my good day. I enjoy your podcast. I just started listening to a couple of months ago one night. I caught all of some things to do and became a plus member because it's been way any longer from where I've felt and I just love hearing your stories and you're taking everything and very interesting. So keep doing what you're doing

and stay safe.