Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - 2 Broken Girls

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Your favorite broken girls are back and this time they're WORSE! After a long hiatus, Syd & Olivia are, once again, enabling each other's bad behavior for your listening pleasure. In this episode, the girls discuss fictional characters' mental illnesses, their recent trip to Greece that was NOT human trafficking, and who pulls more than anyone in their generation. Take a shot every time this episode goes off the rails and, by the end, you are guaranteed to be dead. (For legal purposes, we would like to clarify that that was a joke and do not do that.) TIKTOK & IG: @sydandolivia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

unexpected. Yeah, I didn't expect this. I didn't even know this morning that this is what we were going to do. I didn't either actually. Um, beautiful. That's so perfect. So we're back. Yeah, hi everyone. I guess we're back a little bit. I'm Sid. I'm the Sid. I'm the Sid one if you forgot. I'm still Olivia. Before we were doing this as like a video podcast. Yeah. And it, it was becoming really difficult. It was hard to do. Yeah, just to answer the questions of like, where did this go? What happened to this? I liked this. Why did you take this away from me? Um, Here are the answers to those questions. It was a lot of work.

Yeah. To specifically edit the videos, syncing and editing, hours of footage of our own faces just talking was, and this is going to be shocking, mentally taxing. Yeah, it's, I don't know if you've ever looked at yourself before, but if you do it for hours and hours. hours. It will make you mentally ill.

Like it will. Mentally. Yeah. It's going to like really mess you up. Yeah. It was bad. I was like injecting acid into my neck because I saw myself. I saw myself sitting at a normal human angle making normal human faces.

Right. And because I had to edit my own face for hours on end, I was like unacceptable. Yeah. Fair. And I went to unfortunately. Not fair like it is unacceptable, but fair like that that would be how me brain works too. Yeah. That's what happened to me.

That's me, me, me, me brainworm. That's that Mimi brainworm. That's that Mimi Brainworm. That's that Mimi, Junior's brainworm has nothing on our brainworms. Yeah, have you heard about the RFK Jr. Sabrina Carpenter collab called that's that Mimi Brainworm. We really do want this podcast to be a forum for our ADD to get worse. Yeah, we're trying to make it worse.

We're trying to make it really bad. We're trying to get everyone in our life to hate us. We're trying to make sure that we, uh, get worse, but that we don't get worse in terms of having to look at our faces. Right. And, you know, listen, if we ever get to a point where we want to bring a video element back more substantially, then maybe we will. But we realize, like, us not wanting to edit our faces because it is terrible for our mental

health shouldn't mean the podcast can't exist at all. Totally. And also, like... Some people didn't even watch the video versions. Yeah. And also the thing is, like, we're just going to do this. this way. It's going to go all over the place. There's absolutely no through line, but that's just how it goes. Yeah. And if you hate it, I'm absolutely loving that for you. I love that for you. I'm really so

thrilled for you to turn it off. Turn it off and listen to your own thoughts in the car. Please listen to your own thoughts. Because that's the only alternative. The only alternative. There's no such thing as radio. There's no such thing as other podcasts or talking on the phone. No such thing. It's that our thoughts or nothing or nothing. Or nothing. You don't have any thoughts. You don't have any thoughts. No, so anyway, so that's that. Yeah. But because we were talking so much about mental illness and causing our own mental illness, we would love to. I love to, I love, me, me, me, mental illness.

That's that me, me, me, mental illness. We decided that we would start off with a really fun segment. Oh, I do love this segment. This is good to just get right, right into something. Yeah, this segment is called, what illness does this fictional character have? Cue the music. Do, do. Okay, hold on. Actually, find my freaking notes on this.

So this segment is pretty self-explanatory. We said, what illness does this fictional character have? We're going to list some fictional characters, and then, and we don't know what the other person's listing, and we're going to try to deduce what mental illness this fictional character has. And before we begin, we have no idea what we're doing. We have no idea what we're saying. We have no degree in psychology or anything. Yeah.

This is purely for fun. and also the only qualifications we have is being ill. That's the only thing we have. That's all we have. All I have on my side is I'm an ill girl with a dream. I'm a sick, sick girl with a dream and my dream is a nightmare. So, okay, so why don't we start off, Olivia, you got any ill people you want to shout out? Yeah, of course.

He's very special to me. He's my one and only. He's my idol. Oh, okay. He's my dream guy. Yeah. He's my silly rabbit. He's my silly rabbit.

He's my everything. He's my right. My right hand arm. Yeah. The one and only Scrappy do. Oh, love him. Love him. Adore him.

What do you think is wrong with Scrappy do in the head? Okay, so I did some research. I'm upset. Yeah. I have an answer, but it's a really unexpected. one. So what would you think first off? Like, one could guess. When I think ScrappyDoo, I think about him exiting Mr. Bean's chest.

Right. Bursting on Mr. Bean's chest. Scooby-Dum movie. Yeah, absolutely. Which is obviously like maybe one of the best films of our generation. It's one of my favorite things to do when I'm stressed. It's my favorite way to self-sooth. Yeah. Whenever you burst out of my chest, you seem really soothed. Yeah, I seem really upset.

You seem really like your torso has been open. I don't feel very soothed, but you seem so soothed. And then I inject myself with that. If you don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, it's almost like turn this off and watch the movie. Yeah, just watch the live action Scooby-Doo movie. Scrappy Doe pops out of Mr. Bean's chest. And if that's a spoiler for you, you can absolutely go S-A-D because you should know that by now.

Yeah, if you really should. If you lived this long, you should know that by now. Yeah. No, I think like if I'm thinking of what illness does Scrappy-Doo have, Napoleon complex? Absolutely. Napoleon complex. I mean, that's not really...

It's not an illness per se. Yeah, 100%. But it is something. He definitely has, in terms of what complex does he have? Yeah, Napoleon complex, for sure. What illness does he have, though? Well, I was thinking, like, does he have anger management issues, right? Absolutely.

He's got definitely, like, a grandiose sense of self. Like, you know, a lot of these characters, I'm going, like, do they have NPD? Oh, is he an narcissist, right? Like, I feel like we should stop randomly diagnosing people with having narcissism. but I think fictional characters, it's totally game. I think we should stop telling people that they have an illness, like what we're doing right now. Right, unless they're fictional characters and their scrappy do. Yeah.

So I did some research. There is something called intermittent explosive disorder. Okay. Where you explode out of Mr. Bean's chest intermittently. Yeah. Yeah, you have like random bursts of violence and anger. anger. Yeah, that checks out. Um, and listen, am I an expert on intermittent explosive disorder? Absolutely. No, you're just Italian. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's the same thing. Yeah. So, um, yeah,

I would say he has anger issues. I would say he has a Napoleon complex, even though that's a complex, not a disorder. And I would even say he could have intermittent explosive disorder. Oh my God. I think you're so right. Yeah, 100%. Okay. Do you want, do you want some, do you want to pitch someone? Yeah, I absolutely will. Okay, see, here's the thing. I am looking at my notes and I will tell, you, they don't make sense. Okay, I love that. That's even better. I'm going to just read you what I wrote down here. Okay. Okay. Poppin fresh, more widely known as the Pillsbury Do Boy. Oh shit. Is an advertising mascot for the Pillsbury Company appearing in many of their commercials. Many commercials from 1965 until 2005 ended with a human finger poking the doughboy's belly.

Yes. The doughboy responds by giggling. when his belly is poked. Then I wrote, The Pillsbury Do-Boy has PTSD. Obviously, the human finger. You wrote a fucking essay. I didn't realize you were writing essays. I don't remember writing this.

I think I blacked out, and I woke up and this was here. The Pillsbury Do-Boy has PTSD. Obviously, the human finger is in a position of power, and there's a weird dynamic at play when the human finger pokes the dough boy's belly, causing him to emit a laugh. And that's what I wrote.

Wow. So I don't know what I was saying, actually. I think I was maybe asleep. Yeah, I love all those sentences. I don't know if that proves he has PTSD. You know, it doesn't. But I would... I would say it proves that I have an illness.

I would say that I would get that paragraph tattooed on my chest. Yeah, it does prove that I'm ill. No, I think it's great. I think that... I think, here's the thing. you're definitely on to something with that. And I don't... Well, I would say I'm definitely on something.

Like maybe drugs or sleeping pills. Ambien. But like... I'm dreaming and I'm awake. I think I wrote this on like at least five or six bottles of Ambien. Oh, my God. The only thing to study the Pillsbury Doe Boy on. Wait, what's his real name?

Poppin Fresh. His Christian name. His Christian name is Poppin Fresh, but we call him the Pillsbury Doe Boy. Weird because I would think that'd be the other way around. The Pillsbury Doe Boy sounds. more like a button-up name that you would put on a birth certificate. And then like, Pop-in-Fresh is more like, we call him Bobbin-Fresh. Yeah, when he deals us drugs.

When he deals us Ambien, we call him Pop-in-Fresh. And then I take so much ambient. We're always popping fresh ambient. Yes. And don't you love when Ambien is fresh? It's just try to write out the lab. No, I think what I was trying to say, if I'm really trying to deduce this. Yeah.

Is I think I was saying that the human finger, which is in a position of power. I love the human finger in a position of power. doesn't. The human finger, which was in a position of power, had like a weird dynamic with the Pillsbury doughboy and kind of shamed him. And now years later, the Pillsbury Doughboy is like reconciling with that. Like he's trying to figure out like where what's my, yeah, that's complex PTSD. What's my place in the world? Yeah. See, you're the expert on things. I'm not. You're the expert on things. I'm just on. Ambien. So anyway, that's beautiful. That's my take. It's still very beautiful.

You know, do you have anything else? I do. I have a couple. I have one that might not be okay. I think you should say it. Okay, hear me out. We can always cut it. We can beep it.

We can bleep it out. If it's like really bad, we can just beat it. It's not really bad. It's just... Really bad. What if Mr. Crabs has autism? I'd like to clarify that autism is not a mental disorder. Gorge.

And his special interest is money. Is money. Okay, that's not. that. Now, here's the thing. There's a lot of arguments for him having hoarding specific OCD. I'm sorry. Where are these arguments? Anywhere you fucking look. What are you fucking talking about? You go outside, you ask fucking any motherfucker out there. What are you talking about right now? What does Mr. Crabs have? They're going to say OCD. No, they're going to say, who are you? And why are you talking to me? They're going to say Mr. Crabbs has OCD and his, and within that he has hoarding disorder.

But there's also a world and I don't know this because I'm not his therapist. I'm not his psych. Well, he's a fictional crab. So he doesn't have a therapist or a psych. He could just have a special interest in money, which could just put him somewhere on the neurodivergent scale. I mean, I love that for him, I guess. It isn't the only thing he likes. Okay.

So if we're talking about this, I just would love to get into autism for a second. Okay, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. So my sibling Jay, shout out, Jay. My sibling Jay has autism. Okay. I texted Jay for this episode because I was like, would love to know in your brain because Jay loves to be like to watch reality TV and diagnose people with autism. Yeah.

Okay, so here are the characters my sibling Jay thinks are autistic. this is like a sub a subsection of this. Yeah. Multiple people in Harry Potter. Neville, Percy, Hermione, Luna, Dumbledore question mark. Yeah, I buy that. Melman and Rico from Madagascar. Okay, that's just, I don't know who that is.

Don't know. Loki Dexter from Dexter, but he has other shit going on too. Dexter from Dexter's laboratory or Dexter from Dexter the serial killer? I think from Dexter the serial killer. Yeah, he's got a lot. lot of stuff going on. Ross from Friends. And then they said, but maybe it's just David Schwimmer.

The entire main group of friends from Seinfeld. Okay. Urkel. Possibly Velma. Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes, that makes sense to me. Because if you watched the Sherlock Holmes series with Benedict Cumberbatch, like he's for sure like there's something there.

Have they hit on The Good Doctor yet? No, that was the first thing they said as like a joke. say have they hit on the good doctor, which is very different. Oh, no, they haven't hit on the good doctor. Yeah, well, they can get on that. Anyway, there's like a ton here, like, like so many. And I guess you could just ask Jay personally, like, who do you think is? Right.

So maybe we'll just, we'll just plug Jay's number. Yeah, I'm just going to like post Jay's number somewhere so that you can contact. We'll just docks your sibling. Contact my sibling and ask them who they think also has autism. Yeah. And you're going to get some fun answers. Yeah. I, yeah, I think there's a world.

that Mr. Crabs has OCD with an emphasis on hoarding. Like with a, like, because it can be, it can be a subcategory of OCD. Totally. I love that for him. But it could just be, yeah, could be so many things. I have another, but you want to go, you want to? I think Garfield has an eating disorder. Yeah, Garfield has restrictive food.

Binge and restrict. He's, it's a restrictive food intake disorder because he only eats lasagna. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I see what you mean. Well, I guess he's, yeah, he's restricting the types of food, but he's not restricting quantity. No, just the type of food.

And also, is that something? It's probably some sort of, it's disordered eating. It is disordered. Whatever it is. Only eating lasagna is disordered. It's an unhealthy relationship with food. Yeah, for sure. No matter what.

Yeah, for sure, for sure. He's also always binging himself into being physically uncomfortable, correct? I don't know. I don't know. I've never seen it. I'm always seeing him be so uncomfortable when I close my eyes and it's in my head. I also really quickly, I think the sun baby from Telitubbies is a psychopath. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. Like no question about it. No question about it. That baby is fucking ill. Yeah, psychopath, not a sociopath? No, psychopath. Okay, I love that. Psychotic.

Well, because psychopaths usually are more successful than sociopaths. I would argue that being the son is the most success you could possibly have. So, okay. So I'm going to pitch the Kool-Aid man has mania. Yeah, he's, yeah. Or drug-induced psychosis. The point is he's always bursting through walls, like brick walls with his body and screaming, oh, yeah. Maybe he has the thing that Scrappy Do has because Scrappy Do is always...

Intermend explosive disorder. Bursting through chests. Yeah, that's true. I forgot. You forgot. No, I forgot. I forgot. Oh, I forgot.

Oh, I forgot. Yeah. I think he has something for sure. Also, like, he can empty out his head. Yeah, he... He can empty out his head into a glass. Yeah. That's fucking awesome.

That's just like a talent. That's just cool. Yeah. That has nothing to do with the segment. That's just fucking awesome. No, that's just like, boys, take note. Take note what? Take note.

To empty up your head. To pour your head into a glass. It's so sexy after you burst through the wall. I love that. Like, ugh. I also think Humpty Dumpty is bipolar. Oh shit. At first he wants to sit on the wall.

Yeah. Then he wants to have a great ball. Does he want to have a great fall? Yeah. Oh, he's asking for it. And that's just textbook manic depressive disorder. Wow. Because I was thinking like his highs are high.

Yeah. His lows are low. Right, right. His lows are low. His highs are high because he's high up on the wall. His lows are low because he does a great fall. Yeah, he does a great fall. And then I also bet he's just spending so much money he doesn't have.

That is not based on the text as much as a personal feeling. Yeah, the vibe you're getting from him. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. I feel that. I'm always getting that vibe from him. Yeah. I think Tony the tiger is neurotypical.

Oh my God. He's the most neurotypical tiger. I've ever met. Nothing like Tigger. Yeah, but if you're just comparing tigers, fictional tigers. Well, I would say if you want to hang out with one, I would pick Tigger. Oh, for sure. I'm not hanging out with a neurotypical.

No. I don't. I don't. Yeah. I'm not hanging out with a neurotypical soccer coach or whatever the fuck he is. I would never. What is that what he does? I don't know.

What is he do? What's his job? I don't think cereal. I don't know. Now, uh... That was an awesome segment. I loved that. What does he do?

Cerealry has depression. Uh-huh. That's pretty straightforward. And that is what illness does this fictional character have? Okay. Um, do you want to talk about our vacation that everyone thought was going to be fake. Yeah, yeah. Okay, guys, here's what's crazy. I don't know if you've been up to date on this, people who are listening. But from the beginning of this year, we started posting things

like about this vacation that we were going on. We were like, come with us to Greece. Yeah, come with us to Crete. Yeah, to Crete to Greece, Crete Greece, Crete, Heraclion. Yes, and we promise it's not human trafficking. Yeah, and we're not going to steal anyone's organs. Now did we keep that promise? Yes, we did. We didn't steal anyone's organs, but people did come and we made new friends and it was really fun. Yeah, so I think the two of us and all nine people with us all had the same thought going into it, which was like, wait, what? Yeah, but we all still did it.

We all still did it. Yeah, we were all like, wait, this could, so many things could go wrong. just like going like being like essentially 11 strangers in a hotel together in a foreign country and we've never met before but we're all on a group chat together yep what yeah it was it's such a weird idea yeah I was so happy that so many of our people came up to us and they were like we were very like what yeah because it's like okay all of us were yes at least all of us were like oh what so what but we had like an absolute blast. It was truly the funest thing. So fun. We like met so many silly, lovely, wonderful people. The group was so like the best, like the best group. Yeah, the best it could have

possibly. Yeah, it was, it was spectacular. It was so silly. It was so fun. We did, um, so we all met up at the, at the, the hotel. We were staying in a resort. Um, we went and toured an, an ancient city. Yep. We did wine tasting. We went on a big boat and went snorkeling. Oh, yeah. But a really, like, fun thing that happened was everyone hated us. Oh, my God. Yeah, everyone in the resort hated our group. Everyone in the resort hated our group.

Most likely because we were having the most fun. And I think they were jealous. Yeah, we're so jealous because we're so fun. And that's the only reason. And that's the only reason? It wasn't that they're trying to relax and we're... Being so loud. But also, like, even on this trip, like, from the moment,

Olivia and I got to L.A.X. Oh, my God. Everyone hated us. Everyone hated us immediately. It was like we couldn't get anywhere without someone being like, oh, fuck you guys. We got to LAX. We like put our baggage in and the woman immediately is like, oh, are you guys headed to, where do you say like headed to London? London because that was our first stop.

And I was like, yeah, London and then Crete. And she was like, oh my God. I don't care. I was like, okay. No, that's fine. Oh, no, no, we just wanted to make sure that the bag, you know. It's all good. It's never mind.

I just want to make sure the bag was going to make it where we're going. But that's okay. I'm so sorry. It's probably fine. Yeah. Every, every. A Frenchman tried to fight our group. I tried to fight our group dinner the first night.

A French gentleman. A French? Also staying at the resort. An elderly French gentleman was like, you guys are being too loud, tried to fight us. Yeah, but luckily we had a wrestler. Luckily, we had a wrestler in our group. Yeah. Who was like, I'm absolutely going to take you down if you try to do this.

Do not. Do not. Do not fuck with us. Which was pretty fucking awesome. Always bring a wrestler. always bring a wrestler everywhere. That's what I'm always saying. I taught a Greek waiter what

what scissoring was, even though he told you over and over again that he already knew what it was. You said when a woman and a woman love each other very much, they scissor and he was very uncomfortable. He hated it. He hated it so much. So much. But he was hitting on both of us and then started only hitting on me

when he found out that I live alone. so I'm going to say he deserved it. That is scary. Yeah, that was the context for me where I was like, that's the worst. That's the worst reason you should be into someone. That's pretty scary. If you're flirting with someone and the reason you're flirting with a couple of people and then the reason you're like, oh, I'm going to hone in on this one and flirt with them

is because they live alone. And they're like defenseless because they live alone. That is so scary. Yeah, that's pretty scary. We were not even in the country. I lived in. No, we weren't. It wasn't like I was staying.

it was also so interesting because I feel like so many of the places we went there were random people being like please take me to Los Angeles yeah it's like what how does that you don't know me yeah how can I take me to Los Angeles you can go yeah just go what you can go easier than I can take you correct because I don't know I don't know you I don't know you I don't know how you I don't know have your passport information mm-mm can't take you it's hard yeah and then uh we also had like a really interesting experience in the Istanbul Airport. Oh, we really did. Now, have you guys ever been to the Istanbul airport? Yeah, shout out to the, to the Istanbul airport. Because if you've ever been there, I think the answer is

no, you haven't, because it doesn't exist. It is a fever dream. Yeah. We went to this airport. We were so tired because our flights had been delayed and we had to spend the night in the airport. And this was on the way back from Europe too. So it was like we were very freaking tired. And there, we were upstairs and we were just trying to find downstairs. And there were no. No. There was no downstairs. There was no downstairs that we could see, but there were no stairs. And there was no way to get there. And there was no elevator.

Yeah. And Olivia and I were wandering this upper floor with no way to get down. And we had to be there for like 10 hours overnight. And so we found this weird hotel inside the airport. Inside the airport. That is neon purple. Yeah. And you sleep in a pod.

Uh-huh. And everyone we asked, you're like, how do we get there? And they all gave us different directions that did not lead there. No. At some point we opened a door upstairs thinking it was an elevator, but it was a blank white room. It was a white room that you'd like shoot a sci-fi thing in and there was no one in it and it was not locked. It was so scary. Yeah. And I don't think this airport exists. No. We, it was like, we kept saying it was like a nightmare, not because it was so bad, but because it functioned in the same logic that an airport in a nightmare would function. Exactly. It's like all that, like, you don't, nothing leads to anything. Nothing leads to downstairs. There's a bunch of white rooms.

You have no idea how long you've been there. Everyone is not able to talk to you. What was the thing? It was like there was a sign that said no liquid restrictions. And then right next to it, it said liquid restrictions. Yeah. Every part of it was like, oh, this is a, this is not a nightmare airport. This is like an airport out of a nightmare.

Does that make sense? Yeah, 100%. 100%. Yeah. I'm trying to think of other fun things that happened. Oh, yeah. one of our one of our people like we kept joking that like it was like oh our trip is like a camp and we're the camp counselors it's like come to Greece with us so like one of our campers um uh became a

merman became a siren and lord 20 tourists into a cave yeah so that's pretty sick one of our campers was a beautiful singing voice beautiful singer and he swam in a cave yeah and sang opera music Italian opera. And then all of these random tourists started swimming over. He was like herding them. Yeah. Hearding. Not hurting.

Herding. Yeah, herding. He was like herding them. It was like hurting them. It was like luring them into a cave and hurting them. He was hurting them. Herding. Yeah, there's got to be a better.

It was really, really fascinating. It was crazy to turn and see like, yeah, yeah. He was great. Everyone was great. Yeah, it was really fun. We learned about marine biology so much. We did. Another highlight of the trip, although I don't know if it was really a highlight.

11 out of 10 start. Which was we were in Switzerland before we went to Greece. We were taking a taxi. Oh my God. This was a low light. To the train station. Yeah, at like 5 in the morning. And it's a very short drive, but we had a lot of luggage.

And the taxi driver started talking to us within the five minutes of being on the road. such a short drive so early in the morning. We were so tired. We had to wake up at four. And he immediately started talking to us about American politics. And we were like, oh, that's, like, so many people wanted to talk to us about American politics. That's the thing that sucks about, like, the one thing that sucks about being an American

besides the fact that everyone already hates you. Like, going over there and having everyone be like, well, so Trump, huh? And it's like, I really hate that guy. I do not want to talk about him. And I'm, yeah. But he kept being like, he. His whole reasoning for liking. Yeah, he was like, oh, so it's Trump again.

We're like, we hope not. And he was like, well, why? He was like, well, all politicians are bad. So don't you want somebody who's just open and honest? And it's like, well, he's not honest about being bad. Like, there's so much worse shit he's done that he is not told us. We also were like, he's just a bad guy. He's just a bad guy.

And then our taxi driver who was driving us at five in the morning was like, well, everyone's a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. And we were like, No. What? You're going to tell us you're a bad guy and we are stranded in another country with you and a car at heart in the morning. With a self-proclaimed bad guy. And I was like so tired that I didn't even have social skills yet.

So I was just like arguing with him because I was just like not awake enough to be polite. And I was just. About this topic specifically. Yeah. And I was just like, I don't want this guy to do anything to us. So I was just being. kind of quiet and scared. But I also will say this leads us to a pretty good segment called bad boy versus bad boy.

So the freeze like bad boy. Yeah. Like, ooh, I love a bad boy. Yeah, I'm dating a bad boy. Like, oh, I'm kind of into a bad boy. Where's the line between a bad boy and just a bad boy? Because some people are like, oh, he's a bad boy, he wears a leather jacket. Yeah.

And he like combs his hair like a greaser. Right. I don't know why my vision of a bad boy is in the 50s. Yeah, yours is just in the 50s. Right. But then there's like a bad boy who is like, oh. They do tax evasion. He does tax evasion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can only be one of the two. You can't be both. You can either be a guy with a leather jacket who slicks back his hair or a guy who does tax evasion. Right, right, right. I totally forgot that that is how it goes. Like I would say, a bad boy drives a motorcycle. Oh yeah, bad boy. Ooh, yeah. And then a bad boy is on a no-fly list. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a bad boy hits someone with a motorcycle on purpose. Right. And that's the difference. And that's the difference. Like a, um, um, a, um, a bad boy hits someone with a motorcycle on purpose.

a, um, um, a bad boy can't commit. Oh, he can't commit. And then a bad boy commits, commits arson. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say is Osama bin Laden. Oh, that's the same. Which is the same. The same. Um, yeah, Osama bin Laden, bad boy or bad boy? Bad boy. Okay, I don't know which one you met. Yeah, which of these people is a bad boy. Yeah, bad boy versus bad boy. Um. Um. Um, um, okay, are you ready? Yeah. Uh, Danny from Greece.

Okay, bad boy. Bad boy. Okay. Bad boy. Osama bin Laden. Bad boy. Uh, like we thought Johnny Depp was a bad boy. Right.

But it's possible. It turns out he's probably a bad boy. Right. Yeah. Who's like another like bad boy, bad boy? Um, well, we thought. Kanye was a bad boy, like a bad boy, but he is a bad boy. Yeah, maybe, maybe that's, maybe it's, uh, like how Pokemon evolve. Oh, maybe you start off as a bad boy and then you end up as a bad boy. Yeah,

it's like that quote from, um, from it's like that Batman quote or it's like, um, you either die the bad boy or you live the Batman, you live long enough to become the bad boy. Wait, what? No, there's like a quote that's like, either, oh, hold on you, it's like, you, you, you either die the hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Oh. Yeah. So it's like you either die the bad boy or you just live long enough to see yourself become

a bad boy. Wow. Yeah. Isn't that beautiful? That is gorgeous. Like Batman's a bad boy. Yeah, Batman's a bad boy, but the Joker is a bad boy. That's a very good point.

See, now that's a good distinction. Yes. Yeah. Or like, for example. And like, you know who's a really bad boy? you. Lego Batman. Oh,

yeah. Bad boy. Yeah. Yeah. What illness does Lego Batman have? Ugh, being too sexy. And it's also, I think, important to talk about also alternatively, there's a bad girl versus a bad girl.

Right. Like saying, like, Raquel, you're wearing a leather jumpsuit and you're fucking a guy twice your age. Oh my God, bad girl. Bad girl. But then there's like, oh, Raquel, she's, you know, found guilty for kidnapping children. That's the one. That's a bad girl.

That's a bad girl. Yeah, that's a bad girl right there. It's a bad girl. Like, just like a girl who's bad. Yeah. That's a bad girl. And like, I think that in order to say that somebody's being a bad girl in a fun way, you have to say ooh in front of it.

You have to be like, oh, that's a good point. Ooh, bad girl. But if somebody is like, committed. made it an atrocity, you don't say, ooh. You just go bad, girl. Is that what usually say when a girl commits an atrocity? Whenever I'm the judge. Whenever a girl commits an atrocity, I'm always like, bad, girl.

You know how my second job other than being friends with you, like you know how our job is to be friends with each other? And then our second job is judge. Our second job is to be judge. Yeah, to be judge. So whenever I'm the judge at the court that I work at for my second job, you've got to get there soon. I got to get there soon.

Your night shift starts. And then for night court. For night court. Yeah. Part-time night judge. So whenever I'm being a part-time judge and there's like a girl who has like, I don't know, let's say she's like committed a disaster. And disaster, maybe she's crossed state lines with like four to five kids who are not hers.

Of course. I'm usually when I'm like sentencing her to a few years in prison, I'll be like, ooh, bad girl. You put the ooh? Yeah, because I'm crazy. No, but I'll say like... The ooh, like, really makes it feel like you support it. The ooh actually makes it seem like you ordered fries. Ooh, bad girl.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't that feel like a, like a millennial woman being like, I ordered fries? Yeah, bad, bad girl. That's like what that is. Yeah, so you say that when you sentence people to years in prison? Don't try to cancel me. You're trying to cancel me so hard right now, and it's like truly shocking. Here's another person who can be like bad girl bad.

I love another person who can be bad girl, bad girl. Gypsy Rose. Oh my God. Who you and I have just binged the entire. Oh my God. Don't go to Europe without spending the whole flight binging the Gypsy Rose prison confessions. It is awesome. Miniseries.

It's so good. She fluctuates between bad girl, bad girl. Oh my God. She's like the ultimate bad girl, bad girl. Because she is like, ooh, bad girl. She's mostly ooh, bad girl. She is because she'll be like, the D is fire. And it's like, ooh, bad girl.

But then it's like, you asked someone to kill your mom. Yeah, and they did it. Bad girl. There's a bad girl, but also like bad mom. So what do you do? So bad girl mom. Bad girl mom. Bad girl mom.

Oh, she was such a bad girl mom. Her mom was such a bad girl mom. And you know what? You know what? But speaking of Gypsy Rose Blanchard being a bad girl, I really do think the biggest takeaway I have had from that miniseries slash just anything in general about her is that... Gypsy Rose pulls.

She pulls like no other. Like nobody pulls like her. No. And we should all aspire to, I'm going to say. Gypsy Rose is the Pete Davidson of prison. Say that again. Gypsy Rose is the Pete Davidson of prison. prison. That's beautiful. Yeah. And it's a poem and I'm entering it in contests. I'm entering it

onto a shirt for myself. Okay. I would wear a shirt that said, I'm entering it into my bloodstream. Okay. Shoot it up. Okay. I'm shooting up that phrase. Shoot up that phrase. That is so true. Right? Yeah, that's really true. Gypsy Rose can pull. She can fuck. She pulls like, she pulls like fucking no one else. Like people are lined up. She's got lines out the fucking door. Yeah. And, and I, and I guess another thing too is because people love people in prison. Oh my God. Do you think that is because people love somebody who is avoidant attached? I think so.

I think people are attracted to someone who's special. And if you are in prison for a crime that is putting you in the news, even though that's bad special, it's still special. And I think people are drawn to that. I think a lot of people are drawn to the misunderstood. I had kind of probably incorrectly gendered that, thinking like, you know, there are so many men, male serial killers and male criminals

that have so many women writing to them in prison, trying to be in relationships with them. I know it firsthand. Because I'm in prison right now and I am pulling like a madman. Not only am I a judge, I am in prison. You're a judge from prison. I'm a judge from prison.

I'm one of the people. I'm the people's princess. I love the people's princess. I'm the people's princess in that I am the judge from prison. And I'm pulling like a fucking. I know that there's so many, you know, it's like, oh, I can save him. I can understand him. He's just misunderstood.

No one's ever cared for him. Like I would. But I am happy to see that goes, you know, both ways. And I say both ways, which is heteronormative. But you know what I mean. Yeah, fuck you. Yeah. don't cancel me. Don't cancel me, Olivia.

Yeah, fuck you. But you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like there's so many men who just I don't know if they want to save gypsy rows or if they They definitely want to fuck her. But they definitely want to fuck her. And listen, I get it. She's got that bad girl, bad girl, and I love that for her. And I think we should all aspire to do whatever it is that she did.

Kill our moms. That made her pull so much. You know what I mean? Kill our mom. Whatever it is, she did. What is it? about her. Okay, everybody save Diane Franklin. This is like a PSA. Go find Diane right now and absolutely wrap her up and bubble wrap because this bitch is on the loose.

I'm just trying to pull. I know. I know. You're trying to pull and by doing so you're willing to commit atrocities. I know. Bad girl, bad girl. Bad girl. Bad girl.

Yeah. That was a gorgeous segment, if I may say so myself. A gorgeous segment of Bad Girl, Bad Girl and 30 minutes of Gypsy Rose Blankland. insurance poles like no one else. But the thing is that's what this podcast is supposed to be. And that's what it always was supposed to be. Yeah. Is like, let's just talk at each other and at you in your car.

Yeah. And so that we enable each other to be worse. It's so important to enable each other to be worse. I agree. It's important to have a friend who really enables your worst behavior. Yeah, like especially if your worst behavior is like getting you, to, get you fucked. No, if your worst behavior is getting you to a place where you can go to prison,

when you can go put yourself in a position where now you can pull. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh my God, when we were in Crete, one of my favorite quotes, our tour guide, who's this beautiful woman. Oh, gorgeous. She was talking about how our group was like, when the Frenchman tried to fight our group, She was like, I'm honestly like I was a little bit freaked out when the Frenchman tried to fight the group.

Because we were being very loud. Yeah. Yeah. And she was like, oh, God, you know, this is going to go badly. And the thing she said was, I'm very young, I'm very beautiful, I don't belong in prison. And we're like, what a great mantra. I'm very young. I'm very beautiful.

I don't belong in prison. But if you do go to prison, what happens? You pull. So that's why you just roll with the punches. I really do think. there's something about somebody being like an avoidant person that we're all kind of attracted to. Yeah. Like this person's got their own thing going on.

Yeah. And their own thing that they have going on is serving time. Serving time for the heinous crimes they've committed. For the crimes they committed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that can be attractive.

Yeah. I mean, it's so attractive. Who is the hottest? Criminal? Criminal. Come on. We know this. Who?

The fucking I five killer. Oh my God. The fact that I even asked that as question. Yeah. The fact that you asked that is crazy. Crazy because I did so much research on this man. Yeah, Ted Bundy Who? Ted Bundy Who?

Give me that young I-5 killer. Yeah, that guy is. Wowza, wowza. That's like, goy-oy-oy-yo-yo-yoing. It's like, boi-o-o-yo-y-o-shwing. My tongue is rolling down. Real steam heat is coming out of my shirt. Oh, boi-yo-yo-yo-yo-y-y-y-y.

Yeah. You know, the I-5 killer could have gotten it. Unfortunately, if he did, I'd be dead. Yeah. Did you say fortunately? What? Oh, God, I just wish. No, I think I said unfortunately.

Unfortunately, with a hard on. With that a Freudian slip. Here's the thing. The I-5 killer could get it. Let's talk about it for a second. Well, the thing is, it's just crazy that he devoted his life to I-5 killing when he could have devoted his life to being sexy. Or he could have, I was going to say, devoted his life to 405 killing so that we could

at least see him. Yeah. Yeah, seriously. Don't be in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, that's so fun. Be in Los Angeles. The land of the stars. Kill us some stars.

Kill us some stars. Yeah, I do. The 405 killer would be so lame. Ugh, so lame because he wouldn't be able to get anywhere. Oh, he'd be stuck all the time. He'd be stuck in traffic and he would not be able to kill. He would have to kill by foot. He'd have to get out of his car and walk in the bike lane.

Wait, there's no bike lane on the freeway. That would suck. for the 405 to have a bike lane. If the 405 had a bike lane. Would you fuck it? Yes. Okay. Kill fuck Mary.

Yes. The 405, the 101, the I-5 killer. I thought you're going to say, and the 405 bike lane. Okay. Kill-Fuck Mary. The I-5 killer. Yeah. The 101.

Freeway. Freeway. Yeah. And if the 405 had a bike lane. Okay. So this is really hard. Yeah. I just want to let everyone know this really hard.

And it really is going to keep me up at night for days, months, years. I already know. Okay. Go for it. What is? it. Okay. I would marry the 101 because I use it the most. Let's be honest. Okay. And the most important thing about a spouse is you have to use them. Oh my God. You're fucking ill. I was like, that's not right. But still, I have the closest relationship with the

101. I'd fuck the I-5 killer even though I should kill him. But God, just look at that guy. God, look at that guy. You can I five all over me. I'd kill. Yeah, that's beautiful. Let's get that on a t-shirt. So here's the thing is that's the second poem I'm entering to the contest. The front of the t-shirt, the front of the t-shirt says, Gypsy Rose Blanchard is the Pete Davidson of prison. And the back says, he can I-5 all over me, which makes no sense. Yeah, that's a good shirt. And then I would kill the 4-5 with the bike lane because I do think it is the only way you can make the 405 worse.

Yeah, it is pretty bad. Because bike lane sucks, let's be honest, in Los Angeles. In a city where biking is more doable or, I don't know, great. but the bikes just drop they go in front like that would suck they make everything slower how about this I'm going to marry the bike lane because I root for the underdog okay sure I'm an innovator I'm sorry I killed your spouse yeah yeah and I'm upset okay who are you killing the 101 yeah you're not going to kill that's his job that's his job that's his job that's his job is to kill my job is to fuck him My job is to fuck.

His job is to kill. And those are just our jobs. But my other job is being the judge from prison. You have so many jobs. Truly? Working girl. I'm a working girl. Yeah.

I was about to say I've been a working girl, working, but I'm not going to do that. Because that's nothing. And like, I'm not doing it. That's beautiful. Thank you so much. That's such a beautiful song. Something you and I, unfortunately, do often. Yeah.

Do you understand how ADD this is going to be? Yeah, this is great. I mean, people are going to just turn this right off. They're going to absolutely turn it right off. And the thing I love about that is good for you, because there are too many podcasts. Oh, my God. Cut some. Let's cut some down.

In fact, this one. Let's cut this one. Cut this one. Jesus Christ. What is this one still doing? What is this still doing? What is it doing back? What are you talking about?

What are you doing listening to this? It's your fault. I'm a victim blamer. Yeah. So here's my thing. Truly, what was I going to say? Ah. Oh yeah.

Something you and I tend to do a lot is take real songs that are popular songs and then replace it with words that make no sense. Don't really fit in. Of course. There are nothing. It doesn't make sense. I would say that's one of our top activities. And we do it all the time to no end. Yeah.

There was a time that we were at our friend's pool. We're all of the pool. I got out of the pool. Specifically to post. Post. Yeah. Something that said, banana me banana no that's that me banana which is minion sabrina carpenter and then you posted it and

wrote is this anything and the answer is no it's nothing i think it's everything but now every time i hear that song i just can't just hear espresso you hear banana ni banana no that's that me banana yeah and uh it is nothing it is nothing but in in the same way like it's the only thing there is nothing else like And in... That is so true. It's crazy how you can say something that is nothing and then say that is so true. Like the fact that that's allowed,

that you're allowed to say something that's nothing at all and then somebody can go, so true. Yeah, that's like all that happens on the internet. It's just post like nonsense and it's like, oh my God, that's so real. So true. So real. No, but like we were in a, they did saxophone night in Greece. Oh yeah, at the resort. The resort had a saxophone player play a bunch of songs.

And my favorite one on the minion cover was, You just want banana. You don't want my heart. Yeah, because you replay, you just picture the minions doing a kids' bop, essentially. Yeah, that's where it is. They're like doing all the songs, and they're always singing like banana-n-ne-a-ni, banana-no.

Yeah, banana-me-bon-a-na-a-ne. No, that's that me, banana. You just want banana. You don't want my heart. And then you're like, why? Why? is this French man trying to fight us? I know, crazy.

Why is this French man who went to a resort trying to fight our group? Just for dancing. We were dancing in a room too and minionizing songs. It sounds so infuriating. This is just even repeating this sentence is so inferior. I'm fine with it. And the resort turned the lights off in the room we were in to be like, can you get the fuck out of that room?

It was to leave. It was really good. Yeah, but to me I think, you know, one day, on your deathbed, are you going to think... Bonanani. No, are you going to think that French man tried to fight me? Or are you going to think banana-kina-ne-a-no? That's that me, banana.

That's that me-me-death bed. That's that-bed. That's that-me-me-death-bed. That's that me-me-death bed. That is what I'll think. Okay, you want to shake on it? You want to spit-shake? Yeah.

You didn't do it. Do you want to actually do it? I've never done one, have you? I've never done a spit-shake. But it's going to be really gross. Why is your spit really gross? Because mine's actually gorgeous. okay let's spit shake that on our deathbed the last thing we think is going to be ban on me

na na no that's that me me death bed okay I just spit all over olivia's couch that's okay wait I'm gonna do another one okay this is so gross okay oh I hate this okay now we have to do it wait that was so fun we should do that more often yeah we should do that more often how do your hand feel really wet yeah yeah mine's so good it makes me want to keep it there the thing I really like two is I'm watching my spit bubble into your couch. If we do it on this couch every time and we do a spit shake and my couch just becomes covered in every episode with a spit shake. Oh God, we could. That's kind of awful. We could. Well, let's see how we feel, because I would, based on just doing it for the plot. Yeah. I mean, I just agreed what my last thoughts are going to be. So I might as well agree to

shit like that. And I think everything, everything everywhere at once. Wow, it's crazy how nonsensical this is. I really wonder how much I've peaked. I really hope I haven't peaked that much. You mean on your mic? Yeah. I know I've peaked in high school. Yeah, that's beautiful.

Yeah, I had a scoliosis brace, so I was the hottest girl around. Yeah. And now, nothing. Well, everyone, that was an awesome episode. Well, thank you guys so much for popping by and listening to us enable each other to do this. Thanks for enabling us. Thanks for enabling us. And the other thing, too, is if there's something you specifically want to hear on this podcast,

you can let us know because truly, as you can tell from this episode, there are no rules. It doesn't fucking matter. There are no fucking rules. We're going to try to do this often. Yeah. Yeah. So stick around. Stick around.

You asshole. You assholes. And we'll see you and we'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. See you next time. It's still. It could be a time. Tuesday. Yeah, it's still cunt. We'll find out. But it is still cunt. Yeah. Cunt everybody. I've been

Olivia. I've been Cid and we are. Sit and Olivia. And that's the podcast. Hey, hey, bye. And until next time, banana no, that's that meme. Me. Me's Jet Ben.