Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - AMANDA LEHAN-CANTO MEETS 2 INCELS!

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

Oh no everyone's favorite incels are back this week! Branch and Grevorr welcome Pointer, who they met in an online chat room for the outdoors. Pointer has a lot of advice for the guys and loves talking about his proclivity for hooking up with married women. Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon! PATREON Listen to the show on the go! SPOTIFY Chapters 00:21 | Intro 01:39 | Pointer Is Here! 05:45 | How To Fight A Bear 06:42 | The Ladies Love Pointer 08:30 | Branch's Mom Is In Her Cocoon Era 10:50 | The Male Loneliness Epidemic 16:49 | Tips From The Point 20:21 | Questions For Women Answered By Alphas 30:00 | The Story Pointer's Greatest Love 35:20 | When P Lost His V 39:08 | Devil's Advocate This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Be my dad or something. No. No, I can't do that. I don't. That's what they all say. I can't do that. I'm just fucking your mom once. Okay.

Oh, I'm not fucking your mom. Well, you can't. She's in a cocoon right now. Yeah, I'm good on that. Oh, wow. Hey, everyone. My name is Grever Manston. My name is Breonna Tradley.

And this is a podcast called Branching Grever Talk. Pia! Pia! Pia! Pia! Oh my God, stop! Stop the music! Because the music reminds me of some really horrible shit that happened to that music.

I don't want to share. So today, today, if you know about the podcast that we're on today, then you probably know about the subsection podcast within the podcast, which is much better because there's more to test. Yeah, we have a far more superior podcast that is a sub-podcast. Also, just like throwing it out there, if you guys, want to see us do superior content on a far inferior or Patreon. You can check out, Sid and Olivia's Patreon. We've got all kinds of extra shit in there. You can see episodes early, uncut, unconsored,

and also you might even see Bonas content from this episode. My friend Branch is uncut and uncensored also. I am uncut, eight foot long foreskin. It's crazy. Always rashed, always rash. I saw it when we were bearing each other in the sand in the, in the backyard. Oh yeah, because I always come out of my short. Okay. So today we have an excellent guest. We met him on a chat room about the outdoors. I have never been. I hear it's really excellent. So today our guest is, do you want to introduce yourself? Yeah, I'd love to introduce myself. My name is Pointer. I run a rafting kids camp. The kids call me Sequoia. Oh, that sounds harder. Yeah, it's easier for them to say, actually. It's the big trees.

I'm from Kern River, and I'm on the river a lot. That's cool, dude. You have to be super fit to be on the river, so I'm working out constantly. What's your workout regimen? What's your workout diet? So I'm squatting, I'm lifting, I'm pulling, I'm side squatting. My core is very strong. Yeah, it looks strong.

So this is an armored up core. And what's crazy is like, oh, do you have a core? question? Are you a question Mr. Sequoia? Yes. You can call me Pointer. Pointer, who. Because you're not one of my kids in the camp. Okay. You don't want to be because they've got a lot of rules. I love rules. Yeah, I do not do well with rules. I love rules because it reminds me that I am small. So about your, um, your big ab, you've one big ab. You have one big abs. So this is

a spectacular one pack. Yeah, I don't do 12. I think a 12 pack is actually a myth. Yeah. So it's beta. You just do one pack. Because they're small. smaller pieces. Yeah, it's beta or like, you know, king style. Yeah, well, in medieval times, actually, the more of a one pack you have, the more of a status symbol. And so therefore, that is more accurate because everything that was going on in that era is actually more accurate than what is happening right now. Make America the Medievals again. Make America medieval. Like King Arthur?

Yeah, probably like you resemble him. King Arthur is actually really cool. He's a cool guy. Like, I appreciate King Arthur. You know that guy? Yeah. Yeah. That's very fucking cool. I know, I know the story of King Arthur. Okay, got it. Really quick question. So you run a river, you run a river tour. A river camp. River camp, right. Yeah, Branch. How'd you get into that? Oh, it was pretty easy. You know, my grandfather owned this cabin up in Kern River and I was like, you know, pop pops, let me stay there. And he was like, absolutely. And that's when I started. I'm so inspiring. Yeah. That's when I started my like training, my training to start to do it. I've just been a river rat my whole life pretty much. I made this also. Oh, did you shoot an animal to me? That's.

Absolutely. Did you use, like, a trusty axe? Or, like, a crossbe? I decided not to axe the animal immediately, because it's kind of hard because if you miss, you have to get the axe back. So I shot it with a BB gun. Oh, shit. Okay, so that's sick. Did you name it before or after?

I didn't name it because I don't want its soul to be blood on my hand. Oh, shit. Okay, that's, like, a really good point. So you guys are cool. I'm really glad that you guys hit me up in that chat. Oh, my God. That's like... That chat was so sick.

I love when you put out your recipe for raw beef. I thought that was such a recipe because it was so straightforward. It was just wrong. It was just one step, one ingredient. And yeah, it's just raw beef. Yeah, it's so good.

It's so simple. It's so simple. It's like we're overcomplicating so many things now in society. Listen, raw beef, one ab. Like, let's keep it simple, guys, because you just, I do about three minutes of core.

That's literally all you need. That's literally probably all you need. What do you do for your core jumping jacks? Or like what exercise? I do. So I go on my knees and then I go on my elbows and I hold that position. Yeah, but knees down. Yeah, knees down.

You don't need to have your knees up. You don't need to have your knees up. The branch. Yeah. Okay. And in the wild, like, you want to be ready to, you know, if a bear comes at you, a kid throwing up. Yeah.

That's cool. You have a question? Hey, by the way, I'm not Sequoia here. I'm pointer. So you can just ask. You okay? gonna cry, dude. Who hurt you?

No. I just feel like I kind of want to pee sometimes when I talk to you. So anyway, I'm just like, so anyway. That's totally okay. So anyway, um, so have you ever fought a bear before? Oh my God. Sorry, it's not a traumatic experience for you. No, it's crazy that you asked that.

I haven't. Oh. Oh, wow. Wow. Oh, okay. That's really cool. But I've always wanted to. Yeah, and I bet you could, yeah.

And in my dreams, like, I definitely. do and the best way to fight a bear is in your dreams yeah exactly of course but you got to get behind it oh my yes you put your whole you put your hand so i have a really big arm i've seen it before i know it's enormous i know it's kind of tough to get around or put shirts on so i wrap my arm around the bear and then i climb on its back but you ride it into what i ride it into the um in my dream i ride it into the forest and then we go for a little swim oh yeah and then we say all right see you later well do you guys like, is it like an enemy's two lovers tail? Yeah, it sounds very romantic, actually.

No, no, no, no, no, no, I don't fuck bears. Right, okay, great, great. So, have you ever met a woman? Have you ever met a woman? Boys. Oh, do, do, do, do, branch, branch, branch, branch, branch, branch, woman, bridge, woman. It sounds like he's met a woman. Yeah, okay, we're getting married.

You hear lots of boys, boys. This is a segment called, let's hear about women for the first time. Play music, song, go on. God, that song, that song, Yes, the song reminds me of something. really horrible that happened. Are you ever going to reveal what that was? Was I there for that?

Did I do that to you? I don't want to talk about it. You sound triggered. It's okay. I don't want to talk about it. So can you explain to us kind of what kind of women you meet on the day to day? Oh, God. They meet me.

It's kind of crazy. It's kind of crazy. I'm just like living, you know? And I think it's because I'm like so, well, I almost poked my eye out. That would have sucked. That's so alpha. That was sucked. I need this eye.

For what? For women? For the river, guys. And of course, for women. But like, guys, it's a myth that you have to chase women. They will literally chase you. Yeah, as long as you are a high value, man, they will chase you and you do not have to chase you can attract. First of all, how? This is literally like an arrow pointing. Yeah, it's a pussy magnet. Oh, that's cool. They always want to touch it, and I'm like, go for it. Go for it. What else do you want to touch? Ha-ha. Yeah. I have a really good-sized penis. Whoa. And do you have four skin? Um, yeah.

Is it longer or shorter? Oh, I don't know. Than the PPP. Oh, that's interesting. The Pee's about four inches, which, like, it's a myth that you have to have it over four. Yeah, that's a myth. Right. It's actually a myth that everyone has a Pupi.

I've heard that there are some people without one. Hey, Pippe is, it's a bit of a turnoff. Okay. Let's say penis. Slong. Paws. Cock. Popping.

Pee. Sorry. Mother tells me I cannot say that word. And right now I really want to respect Mother's wishes. What's happening, dude? Like your lady? Yeah, my mother. What did she do to you, dude? No, she didn't do anything.

My mother's actually right now. She is living. Did you look like you haven't slept in like fucking six weeks? Okay. Your shirt, your shirt is all torn up, dude. Okay, guys, I can explain. What did she do to you? Mother is in her cocoon era.

Oh. Mother is in her cocoon era. She is cocooning. She just had a bunch of plastic surgery done so she's all bandaged and mummified. Oh, shit. She is in her bedroom. I have not been able to get. get the breast milk I usually get in my attic.

Usually she'll, like, put her breast milk through, like, a door in the attic. She were looking in the eyes. So, I've had to move up to the roof where I've been being raised by some crows. And it's actually been really sick. They have taught me how to call. And I'm actually really loving it. Dude, I'm going to be honest with you. Crows have really good memories.

They'll probably befriend you for the rest of your life. Yeah, but you don't want to fuck with a crow. I think that is where you are wrong. my good sir. I definitely want to fuck a crow. Okay, wait, do you have... Oh. Wait, is there like one crow specifically you have a little in your mind?

There is one... There is one crow? The dark crow. Oh, shit. In charge of all the other crow. Oh, you're talking about ladies... You're talking about a powerful. You're just calling them crow. I know this guy. He's literally... And he's a bird? And I swear to God, one day, we're going to get into it.

Okay. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, when you fuck animals, you make a pact with nature. And it's scary. You've got to be real careful about fucking animals. Oh, yeah. So then you've had experience. And I don't bring it up, and I don't talk about it.

Right. There was an otter. I don't worry about it. Okay. I didn't do anything. I looked at it and it looked cute and like a worker and I liked that. And I got confused. But I would never, because you don't want to sign that life contract.

Yeah. Sometimes you get confused. Hey? Yeah. Oh, so anyway. No, I'm great. How's Angelica going? I don't fucking even know who that is, and he fucking don't even give a fuck.

Gapar has her first cousin named Angelica. Oh, you mentioned your cousin. He's trying to kiss her, but she's a boyfriend. Well, it doesn't even matter because the thing is, like, she's just like, guys, to be honest, like, please. The male loneliness epidemic is, like, one of the biggest issues in the entire world right now. It's bigger than COVID. It's bigger than COVID. Did you know that that it is the worst thing in the world?

percent of men don't have close friends. And that's women's fault. Because in order to get close friends, you need to have pussy. I feel like in this new modern world, like men are talking to down to and like no matter how hard you try it. It's just like, you know, like you, women will reject you and then you are suffering the male loneliness epidemic. And then what do you do if you're, if you're a woman, if your woman, if you're a woman, rejects you for someone else. Yes.

And then you realize that there's no women ever that you will ever want to be. And it's like, well, why did I push any men away, right? You're dingling, you're dingling. I'm sorry. You have someone that you wanted to call or talk to. I've been feeling really guilty. Why? What the fuck was that?

That was my Christopher Warkin. What the fuck? Christopher Wocken, excellent guy. He's actually really into birds as well. So this woman that I shall not name. She's... She's... Yeah.

We already mentioned her, dude. Yeah, she's her boyfriend. I called him. I prank called him and I was really believable. And I'm realizing now that in this epidemic of male loneliness, I shouldn't be pushing other men away. Oh. I should be bringing them closer because...

Yeah, they're packed. Yeah, they're packed. They're like wolves. Yeah. Should I call him? Wow, it's really rich that you're now talking about that. Why? I don't know what he's talking about.

Wolves? I'm going to call him. No, I just really... rich that you're now talking about bringing people closer instead. I just feel like maybe I should apologize and like keep my fellow men closer. Yeah, that's who you should apologize to. Wow. Hey. Okay, check on my new lock screen though.

Pretty fucking sick. What is that? This is the woman of my dreams now. Now that, now that. She's an anime-er- Yeah, because the real woman of my dreams would never exist because there's no actual woman I would ever. Okay, I'm calling.

I'm calling. Whoa. Whoa. Is that Kevin Bacon? Bacon? in River Wild. I'm calling him. Would you so, would someone hold my foot?

Hello. Speak. Hey, is this Cliff? Yeah. Hey, this is Grever. Yeah, I know, buddy. I got your phone number saved in my phone. Yeah, um, I was just calling because I don't know.

I just wanted to check in and see if you were okay in this horrible male loneliness. that's going on. I just wanted to make sure you weren't affected. And if you are, I wanted to offer an olive branch because I realized I've pushed you away. Hold on. Sorry, one second. I'm talking to my manager. One second. It'll be two seconds. I promise. Okay. Hey, buddy, I'm at work right now.

Yeah. So my I'm thinking is that you and I should actually form a very strong bond now. I think that we should form a bond based on maybe our joint hatred of females and we could even get really close. And I think that us men need to stick together. And I just wanted to know if that was something that I could, that now that I've extended that to you, that you're interested in it. Stop.

You're rubbing. Sorry, did you say our joint hatred of female? Yeah, dude. I'm not on that terrain. I love females. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know the other person is, but yeah, I think you should listen to your other friend. Hi, my name's Pointer. Are you and Angelica still waiting for marriage, or are you hitting that penetratively? You know, buddy, I don't think that's the kind of question you should be asking about someone who's dating your cousin. Okay, well, I'm just trying to be guy friends here, but I guess you only care about pussy and the male loneliness epidemic is also your fault, okay? So it's actually your fault, too. All right. And also, you're saved in my phone as Cliff the beta, and I'm not even going to.

change it because they gave you an olive ranch and you literally like literally fucking fucking fucked it. You guys got to stop fucking these things. Animals. Oh yeah, I mean to go. What was your friend's name?

Hey, my name's Pointer. The kids at the camp call me Sequoia because they think it's easier. But you can call me Pointer because I'm not teaching you how to raft. Yeah, and he'll never teach you how to raft now. No, I would. No, he won't. You have to pay.

it's $200 bucks a ride. I'd ask you a question, do you hate women, Pointer? I love women. Women are the seed of life. Women are the reason why I get up in the morning. Why I work out so hard.

What? Why don't you, I think, Grever, you should listen to Pointer. Okay, I'll go ask him some questions. Sounds like you might have some good... Okay, I'll let you know once I... Yeah, I'll let you know...

That was hilarious. That was hilarious. I hate... Don't fucking tell him he's... That was funny. Okay, I'll tell you when I decide What my opinion of you is next Alright, okay

All right Thanks for calling All right, okay, I'll call you later today If you're ever in Kern River, look me up, bud All right, yeah, we'll do Hunter, sounds good Okay We're called

We're called Rapids Okay, I'll call you in a couple minutes Bye, By Cliff, we have never met. Okay, bye, bye. You never met this friend? I think that was really good. Hey, hey, Pointer.

I actually have some questions. Yes, I do bench 100. So when you talk to women, you know, and you get them to really be into you, how do you do that? Yeah, how do you do it without hating them? I don't hate them, because they've only been unbelievable to me. Okay, could you extrapolate?

Extrapolate. Yeah, could you like expand? Yes, I can expand. So as a man who lives a solid life out in nature, I get a lot of vitamin D, I live my life, I live a good life. I just need to be out there doing my work and let me tell you, the honey's flock. The honey's flock. The honey's flock. And some of they were married. Okay, I don't, I'm not choosy. I'm not picky. Do you hook up with a lot of married women? Yes, if they are interested. I'm not going to get involved in their relationship. If they want to hook up with me because I'm a fit, attractive, well-wisdomed man, then they can. I'm not going to

question them. I don't want to get into the politics of it. Right. You know? That's really inspiring. Pregnant women are also wonderful too. You don't leave them out. You hook up with pregnant women? Yes. What's that like? They're nuts. Yeah, what is it? They're hungry. What is it like to date a pregnant woman or like, what do they do? I've never even seen one.

You better have fucking dessert on the ready 24-7. They want to sleep and then they don't want to sleep. Their farts boom a building. Like, Jesus. Mr. Sequoia, have you ever knocked up a pregnant woman to make it twins? Whoa, that's such a good question, dude. No. I'm going to say no.

Okay. Are you sure? Do you want to try it? Do you have... I don't... Who? I just wanted to know if you wanted to try it.

I don't think he's offering. I think he's just curious. Oh. I have none for you. I would be interested in... If they were interested in it. Okay. Okay, so that's crazy.

Yes. Guys, hey. Hey. Hey. Yeah. It's all about what she wants. Mother? No. No.

Not your mother... My bitch cousin? No. You guys got to stay away from these women. Let me tell you. Well, I have you mandatory right now. That's fine. You can live with the crows.

But you guys, you guys got to go outside of the people that you know super well. So that's actually how we met you. You know, we were on the Reddit board trying to figure out what outside is like because we have very limited experience with outside. Yeah, I didn't. I thought that was a funny joke. And now I realize. Yeah. And that's okay.

Hey. Yeah. Hey. Hey, outside. It's scary. I mean, look, look. Things happen. Oh, yeah.

You know? Outside you're so scary because sometimes you don't even get the love you deserve from the crows around you. So, I guess my question is, so anyway, so when you're outside, do you ever get a sunburn? Yeah, I've gotten a sunburn. One time my back peeled so bad, I thought I had to go to the hospital, and then I just rubbed aloe on it. I'm such like an older, wonderful wisdom, too. Yeah, it's almost like if every man in our generation was as wise as the men in your generation, I feel like we would finally, like, actually have a country that is on the right track.

Yeah, how old are you? Like in your 30s? Oh, we're in, no, we're in our early 30s. You're in what, 50s? No, I'm 31. You're 31. Of course. I'm so fucking looly, you can't tell.

What the fuck? I'm 33. What the fuck? You're 33? Yeah. What the fuck? I'm 46. You're 46?

Yeah. How did that happen? Dude, what are you? Are you fucking around in the multiverse? Yes, well, yeah, I'm fucking around the multiverse. Yeah, he pumps around the multiverse. He comes back different ages sometimes. I'm 46 from my biological blood.

Wait a second. So I'm the, whoa, hairline. So I'm the youngest out of you three. Wait, show us a terrible hair. Yeah, guys, I didn't want to do this. You should do it. I'm losing my hair. Oh, God.

Because I'm 46. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I've been on the roof a lot. Dude. And the crows have been plucking at my scalp. Oh, so it's aged you. Being on the roof has aged you at 46.

Guys, guys, the crows have been plucking at my scalp. Oh no. You need to get some oil on that. Do you think that's because you're a beta crow? I'm not a beta crow. I'm a normal crow. I think that they pick on the betas. Okay.

Well, even if they do, that is okay. Because I'm looking for a parental figure in my life now that mother is mummified. If you could just fucking stop. Momified? Like, with her plastic surgery. Like in the movie Psycho, where the mom's dead? I don't think she's dead because I have heard her scream. mostly she has just bandaged up because of all of the work she is getting done

she's in her cocoon era she's in her cocoon you guys have to get outside I how roof no out in the grass out in the soil I mean look a ripped guy like me is outside that's where I find my joy like but like what kind of weaponry must I have to enter that one easy axe little knife big knife a switch blade wow that's so crazy because those are also all the names of constellations that I see from my roof. Little axe, big axe, little knife, big knife. I love to look at the constellations

that I am just a small part of the multiverse. Do you know how I got into my roof? I actually don't. I opened up a portal like Doctor Strange, except I call it a hole in my ceiling. And I went outside and I sat down on my roof and I was so Dr. Strangeing it. And all the crows were like...

Oh, like this? Yes, I meant went like this, but as like a hole in my... Look this. What do you like you punched a hole in your roof? Yeah, you could say that or you could say it was like a Dr. Strange portal. Have you not been over to his house? Aren't you guys best friends? We pretty much just video chat.

We video chat like every day, but the thing is like sometimes I'll go over there because mom's like, she's got big milkers. She's kind of sexy. Whoa, big milkers? But she's cocooning right now, so there's no reason for me actually going on. She's cocooning and she's getting, I think, bigger nipples. You know what? I actually heard bigger nipples is great.

Bigger nipples is great because it'll be better. More surface area. It'll be better for when I, feeding. So, I'm 46. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we have a really cool segment we want to do with you.

It's a game. Okay. Wait, I have a question. You guys, so I don't look 31? I just feel like you have an old school masculinity that I couldn't even comprehend you being our age. I tried to dye my hair just to make it look a little different. Oh, that's dyed?

Yeah. Natural? No. That's too crazy. This is natural. Oh. Yeah. I was going to see you look, I didn't know, 55, 56.

Yeah, I was thinking, like, 50s, like, but, like, in a good way. Yeah, in a way, like, I want you to be my Popa. Like, I look up to you, I would like to piggyback ride on your back. I would love for you to putty train me. I didn't do. But if you were a couple years younger than me, I do not want to ride on your back. Okay. Yeah.

So, have you guys seen the TikTok trend of people asking guys things that only women should know or, like, only women know, really? There's nothing that only women know. No, I agree. obviously. Never been on TikTok in my life. So on TikTok, sometimes I can go on the parental settings of me mother's iPad and take away the parental settings

for me. Nice. I taught him how to do that. And when I do that, the thing, the trend is, questions women would know the answers to. And boyfriends and stuff will answer. Oh, I'm going to slay at this. I'm going to slay. So these are questions for women but answered by fucking alphas. Music. Cause of music.

Stop. We need to change that. Okay. So here are the questions. Are you ready? Yeah. So we guess them? We're going to guess the answers.

And I bet you will know them because we are alphas. Okay. Number one. You're an alpha? Yeah, I'm totally fucking. Yeah, look at him. Are you? Are you an alpha?

Yeah, of course. Look at you. Are you kidding me? You guys are like so brawn. Thank you. You're so brawn and beautiful. Yeah, thank you. You look like you should be on a paper towel label.

I want to be on a paper towel. I'll be on a paper towel label. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. What is a water line? Oh, that's when women give birth and their water falls all over the floor in a line. A water line is like when you're measuring stuff and there's a line for the water to fill up. That's what I thought.

Yeah. Sometimes when mother fills up my water bowl on the floor, it will get like two centimeters tall, at least. Uh-huh. So water line. You're sipping on the floor? Sometimes. Okay. Number two, what are flyaways?

Oh, I know what those are. Yeah? I get them. Little hairs. And sometimes the cuties, they bring them down here. Older women try to do it. And I'm like, what are you doing? They'll have like the two little tendrils.

And I'm like, what are you doing? So you get those beautiful hairs? These are all basically flyaways. Oh, wow. You've got a handful of flyaway. Yep. Is Flyaway not what you do after you are a dragon and you have defeated an emperor? Oh, wait, that's such a good point.

That's awesome. Fly away? a real... Is it not a real... Is it not? Wait, that's what I always thought. It's actually... It's actually sick to be an emperor. It would be sick to be a dragon. What?

Yeah. Dude, you'd get killed immediately. No, dude. You guys gotta stop fucking with animals, man. Yeah. Dragons get killed quick. No, not me, though, if I was one. Um...

Aiken, what's an excision? I do disagree. Next question. What is a money piece? Is that your dick? Is that your pipette? Your cod... Oh, cod piece.

Cop piece. Cod. Cod piece. Oh, cock. Right, cock. Okay. Sounds weird when you say it. I don't know. I think you should stick with Pipee.

I think Pupy works better for you. Money piece? This is a money piece. Oh. Oh, because it's how you make all your money. Yeah, pretty much. It's like your one ab is your money piece. Yeah, I let it stick out.

And then so all the women tip you inside of your belly button? That's an awesome idea. They should do that. Like you're a big stripper or something, and then they put their rolled up cash inside of your belly button, and you can go, he he look it's my one ab for me and then you can float down the river and have a lovely day have you thought that three before it's like you're in my journal my god jeez you keep a journal of course i keep a journal i'm a man so cool that's literally so sick i write all my thoughts and dreams and nightmares oh my gosh i keep a coloring book okay i keep a manifesto the next question excellent what is a midriff

No idea Do you know what a mid-drift is? I think a mid-drift is when you're on the boat And you're drifting And it's kind of mid-kind sucks Midrift Yeah exactly Or like you're like a mid-drifter

Like you go from city to city But you're not that hot Like Jack Reacher Yeah like Jack Reacher but less hot Dude that show is fucking awesome Dude do you know every episode of Jack Reacher Is a fucking one shot What?

Every episode is a oneer So that dude and I are We're the same, we have the same build. Oh, that's so beautiful. Yeah, we're the same built. Actually, you guys look exactly. Yeah, you guys look exactly. Yeah.

You actually, I was going to say, if you look more masculine, is Jack Reacher. No, I, Jack Reacher and I are the same build. I actually think I'm a little bit bigger than him. Yeah. Which is good, because, like, I mean, I don't want to be an actor. Right. And if I was, they would cast me, of course. But, like, I've got, I've got things.

You got more, you're not going to get tainted by a Hollywood in their way place. I'm not going to get tainted at all. Yeah. You guys know where the taint is? Yeah. Oh, my friend knows where my taint is. Oh, I'm worried for you, man. Genuinely worried for you, man.

No, he's fine. He does this shit sometimes. He's like a cockroach he'll never die. Oh, man. Oof. Oh, God. How's that foot doing? It's fine. I'm just cradling it.

What's the problem? No, nothing. Hey, cradle that foot. Get it. I just feel like sometimes everyone is really weird about my foot. You weird about the... I've never... You're dabbling, huh?

Oh, sorry. No, that's fine. Is there anything we can give me, like, a silly putty? Yeah, we can give you some silly putty. So we can play with it with my hands instead of. Okay, okay, one more question, ready? Yeah. How many sizes of tampons are there?

What? How many sizes? Oh, God. I had to pick these up once. It was really hard. Regular and virgin. Yeah, I think so. Because virgin is smaller?

I guess. Wouldn't it be? Yeah, I think so. But it not obviously in dubit. bleepy? I think, like, yeah, virgin and sin. Virgin and sinner. I think there's an X-L one as well. I think X-L. Or extra-large sinner.

Yeah, probably, right? Oh, well, it's not a sin to put a tampon up there. No, but, like, if you're not a virgin- It's a virgin system. Oh. Oh, you guys religious? No. Not really. You guys religious? Just when it's beneficial.

Just one is beneficial to us. Oh, wow. You got the tampon box for a woman. Was it your lover? Yeah. Can you tell all that? Wait, wait, dude. Yeah. Sorry, we.

She was my lover. Can you tell us the story of your greatest love? Yeah, can you tell us some love stories or some, like, love stories? Well, her name was Charlene, and her son was in my camp, and my God, she wanted to come on the river, and I was like, Charlene, this is for the kids. You can't right now, and she said, no worries, I'll meet you guys at the lunch stop. Because at the end of the river, we always do a lunch stop. Yeah. She made me, she made me, like, the cutest lunch.

It was like the sweetest sandwich Oh, that's so sweet. Ham and cheese Yeah, and it was so cute Oh, that's so fucking sick dude There was fruit and I was like, my God, fruit Did she give you a note? Did you want to like fight for her honor?

I didn't have to fight She was fucking, she was there She was essentially like, she was on butt She was there Well, did she have two breasts She did have two breasts Wow, that's very cool Two

What did the notes say? It said I'm going to call you pointer from now on. That's it. Charlene. That's it. And I thought it was the sexiest thing ever because she didn't need to talk too much. Yeah. Yeah. Stop the beautiful. She's alive. She's a great person. We're not together anymore. Where is she? She's probably at home with her kid. Can you tell her to come here?

Oh, no, no. Just to confirm she's okay. Oh, she's fine. Oh, my God. We left on great terms. I got her tampons and she said, I don't think this is going to work. My son's not going to be in the camp anymore. And I said, all right. That's like beautiful. Hey. Hey. It's okay to have multiple relationships.

It is. Yes. What is that like? It's awesome. Have you ever even just, have you ever even dated someone just for one day? I wouldn't even call that dating. I would just call it like hugging up. What's your go-to move in the bedroom?

Oh my God, boys. You boys are crazy. I like to, here's what's awesome, is I like to like, I do a fake yawn and then I put my arm over and then I just landed on the left breath. While you're having sex. Yeah. So while we're having sex, I do a fake yawn and I'm like, I'm getting so tired, aren't you?

And then I put it right there. I trick them. Wow. And then we get going. Again. Again. And it's midway. Midway through.

So I'm in. I'm in and they're kind of next to me but not and I go boom and it starts again okay starts again

yeah because sex hey it's a myth that it has to keep going you actually stop you stop how long you go is everything okay and you go yeah of course I'm just a little sad and then you restart

every time it's super cool how often do you go doing sex before you get sad usually I have sex a lot of married women so there's There's usually a cry session.

They get sad because of what they're doing. No. You get sad. They don't, no, not about that. They're just like, this is the best I've ever had. Oh. And I'm like, uh, I know. And then you do that for like, how on, three seconds, minute, four minutes?

Oh, no, I'm a five. I'm a five minute. Yeah, yeah. How do you train up to that? Um, I do a lot of pushups. And I, I don't jack off as much. Oh. Yeah.

I keep, I keep all a little bit. It's stored for winter. Yeah, I keep it stored for winter. Well, winter is my busiest time. Because everyone needs warmth. Yeah, exactly. Because no one's at the river. No one's at the river. So there's more time for banging.

Yeah, exactly. I'm getting poon tang. I'm working, you know. I'm a working man. Yeah. And you can spend all your funds in the winter getting poon tang. Oh, yeah. I get a lot of poon tang. Yeah. I get a lot of poon.

Can I do you lose your virginity, sir? And when do you think we will? Oh, you both have it. You've been rubbing your dangleing like you've lost it. Oh, shit. Thanks. You're welcome. So you, I know you haven't. Simply because when you showed me your hair, I thought.

Yeah, exactly. It's just like that. Oh, man, you are good. Yeah. You're really cool. Did you feel that? Hard. Be my dad or something. No. No. I can't do that. I don't. That's what they all say. I can't do that. I'm just fucking your mom. Once. Okay. Oh, I'm not fucking your mom. I know. Well, you can't right now. She's in a cocoon. Yeah, she's in a

cocoon right now. Yeah, I'm good on that. Yeah, once she emerges. When she emerges, you'll see those milkers, she'll be like, ha-U-U-A, ha-Uga. No, no, I'm good on that. Most of the men, the gentlemen callers, who come to my mother's home, go awuga, awuga, their tongue goes beep-dil-d-d-d-l-dly. Smoke comes out of their ears, and I go, whoop, time to hide. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. I feel like we should get someone We've called Adult Protective Services before. It hasn't done. Nothing's happened. Yeah, Child Protective Services comes by like once a week and they just give me a slinky and I go home.

But he's got like a six. I got six Lincoln collection now. That's awesome. See stairs in your house. Yeah, well, there are stairs, yeah. But especially now like that I'm friends with crows, I can absolutely fly learning on that, learning on that. I need to get you on the river. Yeah, I need to get in a portal to get to the multiverse.

Oof, yeah. Oh, wow. Portal. So when did you lose your virginity, sir? Oh, yeah. God. Yeah, I was, uh, Jesus. 18.

Was it with a married woman? Yes. Tell us a story. Please. Her name was Deborah. Oh, that's so hot. And it was prom. Who's your prom or?

It was my prom. It was my prom. It was my prom. And we were taking photos and she was there because her daughter was, you know, going to prom or whatever. She was a chaperon. Right. She was a chaperon. She was like, you know, don't, don't be too close when you dance.

Except. And she looked me in the eye, you know, and I was like, hey, how are you? Mrs. Jent? And she was like, pointer, you know? And I had this really sick mullet at the time. I kind of want to bring it back. My hair was red. Pretty sick.

Not your natural color? naturally you have red hair and black mustache and I had this I've had this since childhood so I've had this since childhood so I grew a mustache pretty quick seven or eight

seven or eight yeah nice that must have been really an interesting experience growing up yeah well everyone thought I was an older man so that was cool but nothing ever happened when did you start buying alcohol

oh Jesus um 16, 17. Oh, that's wrong. So you said to Deborah, you said hi. Would you like my seed? No, I didn't say any of that. I just said, awesome.

Hey, thanks for being a chaperone at this wonderful prom. You're doing an excellent job. And she was like, thank you, son. And that was it. And then I saw her years later. She just started undressing right then and there? Well, yeah. It's a myth that you have to lose your virginity when it goes in.

I lost my virginity in that first moment. She gave her a look, and I basically lost my virginity. That's the thing, you guys. Stop reading everything on Google, you know. Losing your virginity can be a look, can be a decision, can be a touch. Do you think we've lost our virginities then? I don't think you have.

What makes you say that? I don't know if you have. Dude, that's why I hate Angelica so much probably is because she took my virginity with her glance. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I don't know about that. She took it with her glance, and then I thought, well, I would do anything for this woman. And now I am thrown away like trash, even though I am a prize.

She's your cousin? Yeah, she's my first cousin there. No one should ever discard you, man. Dude, thank you. That's really nice. No one should ever discard you or make you feel like sewer trash. Hey, that made me feel less lonely. Oh, my God.

Look at this. You guys. I think I just lost my virginity. Oh. do you feel that too? I did. Wait, we did it! I didn't know like, play the music! No.

Oh no. We lost our virginity. I think I shouldn't have brought that up to you guys. Dude, I'm so excited now that I'm no longer a virgin and I know that now and now that you are no longer a virgin either, now we're going to take all the pussy in the world. Wait, that's so sick. Now that we're no longer virgins, we can do anything. We need anything we want. We can even go outside without weapons. Thank you for that. No, okay. Taking our virginities right now.

Oh, no, no, no. No, no. I'd been long enough. Ah, sir, you did that. I'm so good. Thank you. Oh, Jesus. I fucked up.

You guys weren't ready to receive that knowledge, and I should not have given it to you. Do you want to play another quick game? I love a quick game. Okay, I'd love to play a game. Are we ever going to go outside? No, no. You guys brought me on here to talk about the outside, right?

I know if you really want to go. Okay. All right. date. This is a game we play sometimes called devil's advocate. Yeah. So it's like, sometimes when you're a straight white man, ha, as I am, sometimes you have a feeling where you're like, I have to correct everyone in the room. Yeah, or like if someone's just making a point that's pretty sane and totally fine, sometimes you feel the need to advocate for the devil. Which is awesome because we love that guy. And also just like it's a great experience, it's a great

opportunity to hear yourself talk. Yeah, just to hear yourself talk. So we play a game sometimes called devil's advocate, where someone will say something that is objectively true, and then somebody else can go devil's advocate and argue why. That's not true. Yeah. So we'll do a quick speed round. Do you want to give us a really, we'll do a speed round to show you what it's like. Do you want to give us a statement that most people would say is probably true? Or at least fair or sane or normal? Superman is a real guy. Okay, that's really hard to argue, actually. Okay. That's really, That is true. Hold on. Let me backtrack. Let's backtrack. Most people like horror movies. Oh, yeah. Devil's advocate. Most people don't know what they like because they don't know what they want because they're sheeple.

Oh, oh, oh, devil's advocate, you calling someone sheeple actually makes you a sheeple because sheeple is a word that sheeple use. No, I got it. Okay, well, do it. So let's do another round. Do you want to do a statement? Okay. You do a statement. Okay. Because the Superman one is just real. There's no way to devil's advocate. Man's real. Okay, devil's out. Yeah.

Okay, are you ready? I'm so ready. Um, hmm. Oh. That's just my thinking phase. Do you think there's, yeah, he doesn't think that much.

He never makes a big old nip near you. That's just how I do my best thinking. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. Here's my thing. Yeah. People age. Devil's advocate.

Oh. Actually, some people in the, oh, Woke Hollywood Illuminati have sold their souls so that they do not have to age because they drink baby's blood and then they do not age actually. Devil's Advocate. Aaliyah once came out with this album called

Age Ain't Nothing But Another and it's a good album. And I, RIP. Is that working? Yeah, that's perfect. Okay. Devil's Advocate, the only good song is Gregorian chanting. I don't really like any modern music. Devil's advocate?

Yeah. Sometimes when you are in the attic, you cannot hear sound at all. Nope. Devil's advocate, the best sound are birds out in the wilderness. That's the best sound. And water washing along the sand. Devil's advocate, he listens to birds all the time because he's been adopted by a family of crows and he does not look well.

Yeah, no, I know. You showed me, no, no, no, no, no, no. Devil's advocate, it is impossible to be unwell when you have access to the multieth, because you can go to any sort of universe where you are well. So actually, if I see mine well in this universe, it's just because on another timeline I'm actually doing so well. Rich as Elon, as powerful as everyone. Devil's Advocate.

Wow. What portal am I in? I don't freaking know, dude, but get me in there. Devil's Advocate, I'm pretty sure that sometimes you just huff spray paint instead of actually traveling through the multiverse. Devil's Advocate, that's actually an excellent access point to the multiverse. So you would know that if you read the comics that when you smell the spray paint, it's actually a really good access. Devil's Advocate comics are sometimes just not so they're hard to watch because then sometimes that there are things made after the comics that are not as good as the original.

Devil's Advocate. Do you guys drink beer? Yeah. Yeah. Let's chug our briskeys. One, two, three. I stopped chugging because it gets me fat. Oh. Yeah. If anyone else wants to smash it, I'll do it on my forehead.

Dude, you still had liquid in it. Yeah. Yeah. You guys shouldn't chug, because that's how you get beer bellies. Oh, you don't know about that, though. Nope. Hey, dude, I'm actually really impressed with all of your advice, and I actually would love if at some point you came over to meet my mother once she's out of the bandaid.

So, anyway. You have a picture? Yeah, I'll give me pictures. It's kind of a crazy bigger, but... I got to see if there's a... I don't know. Your mother, I don't mess with mother. Moms are fine

Aren't like Wait what Can you explain the difference Because you hook up with The name mother is really hard Why is that hard? I just don't enjoy it It makes me feel scared and weird

Oh my God Is that your mother? Yeah, this is my mother She looks just like She looks just like Oh the Rosie the Riveter Add What are you talking about?

That's my mother This is Is that what you think your mom looks like That's what my mom looks like That's not what your wrong looks like. You just said looked like in the past. No, he didn't. Branch.

Oh. Anyway. You boys are a blast. You guys, if you enjoyed today's episode, you can go on Sin Olivia's Patreon to find bonus clips. And just remember that they have more estrogen and you'll have to close your eyes. Yeah. And we're sorry about having to witness them. And he, he, if people want to find, like, a friend of yours or something.

Yeah. If someone wants to find the latest person you've knocked up, how would they find her? They won't. They'll never find. Like, they're not, I don't, I don't reveal who they are. I don't reveal their identities. I keep, I respect them. I keep them private. Yeah. But if you guys want to head over to Rapids at Kern River, I could give you, I could give you a half ride for free, just a half ride. And then the other half you have to pay me at the end of it, because that's when the trail gets kind of fucking spooky. Do you take play money? Like Fisher Price? Um, no. Do you take ancient coin? It depends. Egypt? No. No, then no.

Well, yeah, well, we'll figure that out. Thank you guys for watching, and we will see you another time. Maybe next Tuesday. Bye! You guys later.