Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Avatar Birth Control

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

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And then basically the show would set up a trap. A trap that's like a fake meat cute. So this is actually the newer version of the show. There's a new version? Yeah, where there's trap doors. And I don't know this. There's a new version of Love Trap where there's Trapdoors. There's a trap.

I don't know this version. Oh, that was a good one. Yeah. Hi, welcome to Zinn-Olivia Talk Shit. I'm the Sud. I'm the Olivia One. Today it's just the two ones. We have no other ones.

Wow, guys. No other ones. That's because we had one. We had one, but they got hit by a friend. We're not starting off of violence today. That's not okay. That's not okay. We told them to take the day off and really just like.

Think about who they have in their inner circle. Yeah, and like setting boundaries and if they need any health, you know, because that's not good at all. And the person it was was Tony Stark. The fake character. That's what it was. Wow. That's crazy. How are you today?

Oh, I am in slow motion. I'm okay. Okay. Gorge? It's just like, I could be like, oh, we team's crazy, but. Sure. We all know that.

Sure. You know, we all know that. I'll tell you something that's been positive crazy. Okay. A lot of people have been giving me goat wrecks for my goat that. Oh, that is huge. Which has been something totally unexpected. I like, don't usually check Instagram too much.

Don't usually check my goat map. just for like brain health. But like last night I was like, let me just check just in case anyone sent any. And so many people were like, I have goats. I know where the goats are. Like I got you and sent me like coordinates. That's every. And they were like, this is where the goats are. And I have so many now in different countries, in different states. That's great. I have multiple in Massachusetts. That's amazing. This is like a very fun thing and I'm really excited to. We got invited to hold baby goats. I saw that. Yeah. I didn't know if that. How? had to do with this or not. I assumed it was separate, but then once you brought this up,

I was like, oh yeah, right. Yeah, I don't know. Could be. I have no idea. But thank you so much for those goat recommendations. Thank you for the goats. Thanks, guys. Yeah, thank you for the goats. I can't wait to benefit from this list that I have nothing to do with. It's very exciting. Do you want to play a quick game? I have a game. Oh, yeah. I'd love to. This is a segment we're starting called Do they have blank in blank music? Cut the music! Now you might say, do they have blank in blank? That's truly nothing.

And the answer is yes, it is. But let me explain to you and then it all makes sense. In fictional worlds, we never really know how far the lore goes beyond what we read, watch, listen to. So let's decide if these fictional places have some of the things we have in our world. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. So, for example, in Riverdale.

Okay. In the universe of Riverdale. Do they have aura rings? Oh. Because Riverdale feels like it's in the 50s, right? But doesn't it take place? Season one takes place in 2017. That is so weird.

So the Riverdale universe had a pandemic. Oh, my God. They must have, right? Yeah. They had to have. I mean, in this picture, what's her name? The Lily, what's her face? What's her character name?

Oh, Betty. Betty. She's wearing like an American apparel dress that I used to have. Yeah, she literally did. I know exactly what dress you're talking about. She exists in our universe. Yeah. See, like the cat ears, that's very, that's our universe. That's like very modern. So, do you think that they have aura rings now? No, for some reason. No. I know that, I know that like all answers point to yes. Yeah. But I feel like they don't. I feel like they could, but no one buy. them. Like, maybe they exist at stores or online, but I don't think any human being chooses to buy them. Sure. Yeah, it is also, like, I think to be fully transparent, I have never seen this show.

I've seen one episode. Okay, great. Yeah. And it's exactly what we're describing. Okay, great. And so it does it take place in another universe? Like, do they call it like, it not Earth? I actually have no idea. Or do they call it not Earth? Hey, chat. Hey, Chad. Does Riverdale take place on Earth? Do they call it not Earth? Does Riverdale take place on Earth? Does Riverdale in Earth? Does Riverdale in Earth? Does Riverdale take place on Earth? And the answer is, and the answer is photos of Riverdale.

Riverdale takes a fictional version of Earth. Yeah. Sure. Like a fake thing. Right. Okay. But it's filmed in Vancouver, Canada. It's often referencing New York.

The series shifts from a modern deist that. to a 1950s setting in its final season. And that's actually very similar to what has happened in our world. Oh my God. Wait, yes. Are we Riverdale? Yeah, we're probably Riverdale. Wait, are you Betty or Veronica?

I don't know either. I think I'm Jughead. Yeah. Is Jughead is the one that's a guy. Oh, well, maybe I'm not judging. Maybe I'm, wait, who's jug? Because I'm a very clean. No, you're Archie.

Because you've got fake red hair and everyone wants to date you. What are you talking about? You're a jock. You've got two girls at all times literally trying to kill each other to date you. This isn't even my life. And you've got dyed red hair that doesn't look natural. It's not my life. It's not what my life is.

See, this is so funny on the images of all the characters. Yes, some of them are... Some of them are the actual people and some of them are cartoons. Yeah. Jughead looks like it's just like a cover of a story. Jughead's just like, yeah, like a comic book. cover. Who's Hiram Lodge? Heream Lodge? Mark Consuelos. I want to be that guy. I don't know. Is he evil? I don't know. Okay. So that's, that's... Oh, yeah. He looks like he could be evil based on that

picture, but I don't know. The idea, so you understand the idea now. Yeah, I love the idea. So Riverdale does not have horror rings we've decided. Okay, here's a question. Yeah. Do they have ethical non-monogamy in Narnia? Whoa. Holy shit. In Narnia. Oh my God. Are they exploring E&M? Yeah. Can we just see Narnia really quick?

Yeah. Can we see Narnia to get an idea if they're like on that polyamory grind? So there's no way we're going to get an answer by Googling does Narnia have ethical dog? I do. Okay. Okay. Now the lion is king, right? The lion is witch in the wardrobe.

Right. And the lion is. The Lion is king, vibes. Yeah, I think vibes. So a king might be exploring ethical non-monogamy. Actually, it might not be ethical. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to volunteer that it's not ethical. It might just be non-monogamy, but not ethical.

What are like the townsfolk like in... Well, there's the guy who's half goat, half human, Mr. Tumnus, right? That guy's definitely Polly. That guy is the most Polly guy I've ever seen. I've never seen a guy more Polly than Mr. Thumbus. Yeah, he's Polly as fuck. Oh, this guy's so Polly. Yeah.

Oh, I've never seen anyone more Polly. Based on the existence of this guy, I'm going to say that Narnia 100% has E&M. No, this guy literally found two of his partners at the Renfair. Like, this guy is E&M. And they were both paramours, meaning like they were, what's up? Is it paramour when you're... Is paramour as a band? Yes, but I think it's also the name of something in Polly.

Could we look up paramour, Pollyamory? I like really dove in with a term that I was like, I know this term. And then I was like, I'm not sure what it means. Wait, what is paramore? Paramore means it's either like that you're dating someone. It's either a term for, yeah, a romantic or sexual partner often used to describe one of multiple. Oh. It's like if you don't want to say girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, lover.

Partner. Yeah, if you don't want to say partner, you could say paramour. And then, sorry, what's... That's so much harder. It is harder. It is harder. Like, is there something specific about it that makes it not a partner? Like, is there any difference or those just are straight up synonyms?

I think human being to human being, people might have, like, definitions that work better for them, but I don't know, period. Right. To me, I'm like, do, yeah, I don't know. Great. Because it just feels like a little bit harder to say. Oh, okay. It's also sometimes like a forbidden or hidden partner, similar to an affair partner,

which makes it less preferred than terms like partner or Metamore. Metamore. That's what I was looking for. One's partner's partner. So Metamore is like if we were Polly and we were dating and you were dating some like Cassam, but I was not dating Cassie. feel about that. Oh my God. Then Cassim and I would be metamorphous. This is what everyone always says about dating me.

There's a lot to take in. But then Cassam and I would be metamorphous. And I, I have no reason, I have no huge backing to be like I'm pretty sure Narnia is teeming with ethical nonmonogamy and just unethical nonmonogamy. You think they might be collabing with nonmonogamy? I think in my bones that it's going on there a lot. No, it's definitely going on there. I don't know if they have the term. for it. They might not. It's for sure happening. I think they have like kooky silly terms for it. Yeah. I mean, Narnia doesn't take place on Earth. No, no. And they all like Turkish delights. Can you look up if Narnia's on Earth? Does Narnia take place in Riverdale? Is Narnia in Riverdale? Is does Narnia on Riverdale? Is Narnia? No, Narnia is not in Riverdale. Is Narnia is a drama series based on the Archie comics.

That's awesome. Is Narnia on Earth? It's in a closet in England, right? No, Narnia is not on Earth. It is a parallel distinct world accessible from Earth through magical means like a wardrobe. Right, of course. It's via the wood between worlds.

Yeah, the wood between worlds is definitely Polly. The Wood Between Worlds is the most Polly thing I've ever heard in my life. Seriously. The idea of a liminal space. is actually very poly. Wait, do you think, okay, I'm going to pitch one for this game, and it's very similar to the one you just pitched. Sure, sure.

Do you think they have ethical non-monogamy in limbo? Like in purgatory? Absolutely. Right? Like, they have to. Because it's a liminal space. You don't know how long you're going to be there. It's a liminal space.

You have no idea how long you're going to be there. You can't make any more goals. Yes. You have to start getting creative. Yeah. You literally are going to get so bored. You're going to be there for century upon century. And the biggest thing about polyamory is it.

It's very creative. It really is. Like, you're constantly creating new ways that you can handle it. Like, whether you like it or not, whatever your vibe is, that's a creative way of living. It really is. And there's so many new words from it. Like Metamore, we just learned. I've never heard this word before.

We love new things. I love new things. Metamore? It's part of metamorphosis, which is the story about the bug. Which is the story about the cocoon. When you're in your cocoon era, maybe sometimes you're just waiting to be Polly. Okay, awesome. Chat, do they have polyamory in the story metamorphosis?

Oh my gosh. Okay, how about this one? Mm-hmm. Do they... Cassam, Google, can I have sex in limbo? Cassam, stop doing your private Google searches on a public work computer. No, you can't have sex in limbo. And then right under it, it says not having sex for a long time.

Are there side effects? Wait, is that... Can we just click on that? Yeah, I guess we should just find it. out. How does celibacy affect your health? Having regular sex may have some health benefits such as for the cardio. Okay, I already am like, I don't trust the site. The way this is written, I'm like, so this isn't real. Such as for the cardiovascular system. However, there's no right amount of sex to have. Right. And not having regular sex should not negatively affect health. Okay, Queen, thanks for letting me know.

And then the photo is of a person looking at another person driving. Yeah, a person is driving while another person's coming on to them, but they are driving. That's awesome. And that is actually can affect your health negatively. It can because you could get in an accident. Do you remember when you got that audition? Oh, yeah. Sid got an audition once for a girl who gives carhead and dies. Yeah, I got an audition for a girl who gives a blowjob in a car and then gets murdered.

And in my slate, I said, hi, I'm an Anthony Heller. And I was born for this role. And I did not get it. And then we both got an audition for a girl who people. peas on someone and then overdoses. Yes. And that was for the movie Babylon. Yeah. And our agents at the time were like, you guys got to go for this one.

And we were like, I don't know if it was like requires nudity. Like peas and dies, that's it. That's it. And requires nudity. And they're like, you guys, this is a huge opportunity for you. I don't know if I even want, like even if I were to get this. I don't know if that's my thing. I think there's someone else in this world who'd be like, fuck yeah, I love that.

And it's just not me. And I also just kind of feel like knowing myself and I really commit to things. I feel like I would have done the audition nude. I would have done the self-tape nude and maybe put on sensor bars because that's kind of silly. I would have died. I would have overdosed for real. And then not even getting it after that much humiliation. Oh, that would have been a nightmare.

No, if I overdosed for real on the self-tape and then didn't even get the job. That would be so embarrassing. So embarrassing. To find out in limbo, I didn't even get the job. But at least I can be Polly now. Okay, here's another one. Are you ready? Yeah. Now, this one is important because I've only ever seen this movie in Spanish.

So I don't quite know. Oh, everything. I love this. So I don't really know the rules. Do they have birth control in Pandora, the Avatar universe? Oh, my God. I've only ever seen Avatar in Spanish. Okay. I built, remember when I was 12 when you didn't know me and I used to base my personality around things they hated?

Yes, I do. So I, Avatar was one of those things. Well, oh, honey. I hate Avatar. I've only ever seen it in Spanish. I was literally like so mad about it when I was 12. I was like, it's just visuals. Like the story's so basic.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then everyone was like, but visuals are what makes art. And I was like, I hate you. And now I don't care at all. Which is so much more freeing you guys. It looks cool as hell.

Like the pictures look cool as hell. I would want to go to there as like a theme park. If they had it as a theme park, I would go. Where? Where? Now, do they have birth control in that theme? Florida. Do they have birth control in Florida? Do they have birth control in Florida? No, they don't. They don't.

Wait, okay, so they have a Pandora theme park in Florida. We will be going. Yeah, we will be going. Somebody getting birth control and selling it. We will be bringing birth control and selling it. We will be hawking birth control. Isn't there a weird thing in the avatar universe where they have sex in a weird way? So yes. So here's the thing about Avatar universe sex. Okay. They all have a braid. Yes. From their hair. Yeah. Like a very beautiful braid. At the end of the braid, it opens up like a like a like a, like a, Tenticle claw monster. And that's where their genitals are. And I think that's where their genitals are. And they hook it into someone else's brain. Well, they hear, that's where it gets tricky is they also hook it into horse. They hook it into someone else's brain to have sex with them.

Braid. And that's having sex. That's having sex. That's having sex. Yeah, so they're hooking up their braids. That's how they have sex. Okay. And I'm pretty sure that's then also how they have.

Okay, also sorry, Avatar Kibon Picks is making me so mad. I want to kill myself. We cannot look at that. This is only for the Patreon. You can click on it. Like, yeah, okay, for the Patreon. Okay, so they use their braid. They hook it into another braid.

Yeah, and that's how they have sex. But then they'll also hook the braid into a horse. To ride it. To ride the horse. And that's not. And I don't. And somehow, in the universe, that's not sex. I disagree.

That's like really tough. I think they're fucking the horse. Well, they are and that's bestiality. Oh, God. Oh, God. I, yeah, yeah. I hate watching. this. Yeah, it's part of their nervous system. The braid is or the horses? The braid is.

And they hook it into their horse. Yeah. And then they have a, it's in there. So this guy is not about to fuck anything. This guy is just about to hook his nervous system. So I think in the actual lore, yes, but in my brain, he's got to fuck the horse. He's going to fuck this horse. Okay, so then I guess the question would be what would birth control be in this universe and would they have it? I don't think they have it. Well, I think birth control would have to make some barrier between braids. Yeah, it would have to be like a detangler. It would have to be like a hairspray. Yeah, it would have to be airspray.

It's only at Alta. It's like, what is the brand like Caritas say or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what is that brand called? Caratis, carotis, keratis caratis caratis carotis carat. Caratis. Carats. Carrots. Carrates. It's called carrots. Carrots. Carotis. Carotin. Carotin. Caratase.

Caratase. That's it. Caritasi. Eight hour magic. Yeah, it's like one of those. It's one of those. You spray it on your ends. It's a Moroccan oil.

Yeah, it's a Moroccan oil. You spray it on your split ends. Yeah. And then when you connect it to somebody else's ends. Yeah, it's Redkin birth control. Yeah, it's Redkin birth control. And it has like a little bit of a barrier there. Yeah.

It's like kind of just like, Yeah. It's like a heat protective. It is like a heat protect it. Yeah. Except it protects your nervous system from impregnating a horse. Yes. It's like it stops the friction.

Yeah. So, okay, so that's good to know. So do they have that or no? We just invented it. I don't think they have it. I think we have it, unfortunately. We have it. I don't think they have it.

Wait, here's a question. Do they have cocaine in middle earth? Now, keep in mind, they do have weed. Yeah, they do. But doesn't Gandalf smoke weed? Yes, Gandalf is a huge pothead. But do they have cocaine? Yeah, they do.

They have to. They have to, right? They have to because there's evil armies. And in, I'm just mapping it to World War II. Okay. When so many of the Nazi soldiers were on meth. Is that true? Yeah.

I did not know that. They gave meth to the Nazi soldiers. I think so, right? Can we make sure? Can we make sure? That's true? Yeah. Yeah.

to keep them fucking crazy because they had to be crazy to be Nazi soldiers. That's insane. And there's there's evil armies in Middle Earth. So I feel like even if they're not on like a straight up earth cocaine, they're on some sort of cocaine. They're on Middle Earth. They're on Middle Earth cocaine. And I think that counts. If there's Middle Earth weed, I think Middle Earth cocaine counts.

That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Okay. Now here's a question. Do they have Jesus in Star Wars? Now there are a lot of people who say. that there are a lot of like allegories in Star Wars, the like religious allegories.

Yeah. But do they have Jesus? Real Jesus. Yeah, no, I was going to say like. Do they have Jesus in their hearts? Do they? Yeah, I was going to say like. Like Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Christ-like figure.

Right, right. But. Yeah. Do they have real Jesus? I would even consider, is Luke Skywalker? It says, Aniken Skywalker is often compared to Jesus due to his birth. Born of a mother, no father. His role is the chosen one.

his ultimate redemption. But I guess the question there is. But that's not the Jesus story. It's not. And also, Jesus didn't like kill everyone and blow up planets in the middle of before he got crucified. Well, we don't know. That part might not be written about. That's true. That's true. History is written by the winners. That's true. I think the the thing I am guessing is that they didn't have Jesus because if they did, wouldn't they make comparisons to, they would be like, Anakin, you're like, you're like, like so Jesus vibes. Right. They would be like, your story's actually very Jesus vibes. Right. And they would always be saying it exactly like that. And they never say that. They never call Anakin Jesus vibes in the real Star Wars. And therefore they can't have a Jesus there or else somebody would have put two and two together. Yeah. I mean, we're not dummies. I also think there are so many different

types of groups in Star Wars that you meet. Oh, of course. You would meet like evangelist Christians at some point. You would absolutely. And they would be there. Yes, 100%. Okay. Okay, do they have Charlie X-C-X in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Oh, my God. I kind of think they do. Yeah, I think they do. Because the Marvel Cinematic Universe takes place on Earth. Well, it's partly on Earth.

Does Earth Earth Earth exist in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, right? It's like a number. Yeah, right? It's like Earths. And how many of those Earths have Charlie X-C-X? That's a good question. It's Charlie XX in the multiverse. Okay.

Branch. Are there multiple Charlie XXs and what are they all like and which of them wants to love me? Oh, wait. That's such a good point because if Charlie XX exists in the Marvel universe, she probably exists on multiple Earths. Right. Yeah. And which one is going to love me, I guess is my question. Right.

Okay. Yeah. There are no confirmed reports of singer Charlie XX in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Oh, joining the Marvel. Sure, not joining, but is she in it? Can you look up how many Earths? How many Earths are in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Somebody's going to get so mad.

Somebody's going to be like, you guys are wrong. Yeah. How many Earths are in Marvel? Oh, infinite. Good. That's easy. Oh, well, then one of them has Charlie XXX. Yeah, she's definitely there then.

She's in one of them for sure. Yeah, if you're infinite, then 100%. Yeah, 616. That's the main earth. in, wow. Isn't Stitch 626? Yes. That's huge.

Yeah, and that is huge. That's something. Okay, so that was that. Music! I loved that segment. That was so great. There you go. We should play that every day when we wake up.

Every day. I think when we wake up, we might as well play that. I'll just like get over your bed, break into your place and just start the day off with that game. Every day when we wake up. Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? Yes. Yeah. Yes, I sure do.

Do you? Yeah. Do you ever feel like your brain just won't stop worrying about what the next thing is that could go wrong? Maybe you just got a promotion, but you're afraid you're going to jinx it. So you keep replaying the scenario over and over and over again to make sure it's just right. OCD is a serious condition where unwanted, distressing thoughts get stuck in your mind called intrusive thoughts. And you feel driven to engage in either physical or mental behaviors, compulsions, to make those thoughts go away. If this kind of thing sounds familiar to you, you might want to check out noCD. NoCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider. And all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, exposure response prevention therapy,

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People with OCD often feel the need to do mental or physical behaviors like ruminating, checking, reassurance seeking, researching. It can be exhausting. To cope with the anxiety caused by your thoughts. But OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions as long as you get the right specialized therapy. Some people who have OCD are in talk therapy and actually talk therapy can make the OCD cycle stronger. So it's actually not recommended. But what is recommended is exposure response prevention therapy. I've tried it myself and I've actually seen insane improvements.

It's been amazing. So that's why I'm going back. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with noCD. Go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team. That's nOCD.com. What are you saving up for? For me, it's a new place because my old person. place had no roof. Most of the time we only talk about money once we've made it. Acorns is the financial

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Head to Acorns.com.com or download the Acorns app to get started today. Paid non-planent endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns Tier 2 compensation provided. potential subject to various factors such as customers accounts, agent investment settings, does not include ACORN's results do not predict or represent the performance of any ACORN's portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Incorns advisors LLC and SCN.SERD-Restment advisor. Be important disclosures at ACORN.com slash SO. Okay, so we've been watching some very fun content. Oh. We, you know, one thing about us is we love a cursed thing. Like, we love watching a cursed thing, right? And we love a really scary reality show.

We love a scary reality show. We love a scary reality show. We love a niche reality show, like one that no one knows about or like shouldn't. Yeah, I will also say I think the way I found this particular thing that we're about to talk about. Yeah. Was from a Google search of like worst early 2000s dating shows. Yeah. And we found it. Yeah.

We think we found it. Okay. So we're going to start off and talking about chains of love, right? Chains of Love is an early 2000s dating reality show where they have one dater. Yeah, here it is. And they chain them up hand and foot. Yeah. To four potential matches.

Yeah. And they have to live their whole lives with these people chained up. They do their confessionals all still chained up. And the other people wear headphones and blindfolds behind them. So they can't hear them and what they're going to say. Yeah. And the only way they can get any of these people off of their chain. is if a man named the locksmith.

Yeah, who's, like, terrifying. Who is silent? He's completely silent. He's... If he shows up on their date. This, like, hulking silent figure who will just, like, take someone away and drive them away somewhere. He shows up on their date, and then they will be like, I want to get rid of Beth.

Yeah. And then the locksmith will be like... And get rid of Beth. Can you look up The Locksmith, Change of Love Reality Show? I wonder if that is even available. Yeah. There he is. Second photo.

this man is silent yeah i love him i love him so much oh my god i didn't really see his black leather gloves yeah he's awesome yeah so he also functions as the driver in this show yes he does he drives them away and then and he's still silent and the people who are in the back of the car who are being driven away will talk to him and he does not respond he'll be like god i really thought patricia was the one for me i can't believe i was the one she cut and they'll be talking for like a really long time and then as they're talking it'll just cut to him driving silently like listening for like too long. It's awesome. It's the most insane thing.

Yeah. It's a perfect show in that it's awful on every level. Yeah, it reminds me of another show we loved called Love Trap. Oh my God. Which is another terrible late 2000s show, which I thought it was early 2000s. It's like 2011, which is fucking nuts. No way, really? I think so. If someone has a crush on someone else that doesn't know they have a crush on them. Like let's say I have a crush on a guy who works at.

at Coffee Bean. I would go to Love Trap and I'd be like, I have a crush on this guy who works at Coffee Bean. I don't know that much about him. I think he's an actor. And, or like, you know, like, I think he likes these things. And I, and then basically the show would set up a trap. A trap that's like a fake meat cute. So this is actually the newer version of the show.

There's a new version? Yeah, where there's trap doors. And I don't know this. There's a new version of Love Trap where there's Trap doors. There's a new version of Love Trap. I don't know this version. In this version, there's just trap doors and you can fall through the doors. Yeah, that's a UK one.

So we got to check this one out for sure. But yeah, if you look at the Canadian one. The Canadian one. It's like, it'll be like, okay, we're going to host a fake... Improv show or fake audition or a fake job interview. Because the thing we found out is that your crush who you know nothing about actually likes improv. Yeah. So we're going to host a fake improv show.

Yeah. And he'll be there and you'll be there. And we're going to trap you in the same room for multiple hours. And everyone's in it except for the one person who is the crush. And it's essentially kind of. Yeah, I love trapped. It's kind of like a vaguely Truman show-esque type of thing where it's a fake reality. And then by the end, they reveal to the trapped person that they have been trapped.

Yeah. You've been love trapped. Intentionally. By this person they did not know. Yeah. Who has been watching you from afar? Do you want to go on a date with that person? And sometimes they say yes.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like I would say yes on camera because I'd feel so much pressure. And then I'd be like, ooh, how can I get out of this? But to find out that your reality is not reality. Yeah. And to be like, let's strip this away. You've been trapped. You've been trapped by someone who's been watching you is so scary.

So scary. Really, really, really scary. And yeah, the thing I've realized is that like a lot of these styles of like 2000s torture dating shows. They're just like crazy, unethical torture experiments based entirely around a phrase that has love in it. Sure. Like they just take a phrase that has love in it.

And then whatever the phrase is, they go like, okay, so how can we make this a fucked up dating show based on only this phrase? And I do think that is a good brainstorming process. It really is. And so we're going to do it now. It's called Segment of Love. And this is called Segment of Love. Music.

Cut the music. So we're creating some early 2000s dating shows. Yes. So I have some, we're going to pitch what happens in these shows based on these titles. Great. Okay. So love seat. Love seat.

Oh, yeah, sure. Love seat. Okay. So something immediately that comes to mind obviously is like furniture. Right. But I do also think that there's something fun about someone hiding inside of furniture. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

For sure. For sure. They're always, there's always something about that. So what if there was something where it's like you take a person, they go on three dates with three different people. Right. And then you put them in a room with an interviewer to be like, let's talk about how your dates went. All three of those daters are hiding in the furniture. They're all crammed together in the love seat. And we have a love seat cam. There's a cam. There's a cam inside the love seat being like, how are you guys doing? And they're all squished together and like hardly breathing. They can't answer because they're actively in a chair being sat on. And they're all pushed together. It's like so uncomfortable. They're getting so claustrophobic. And then they get to hear what the data really thought about their D.

Exactly. So this part, they bring in like a trusted, like a friend or somebody. Oh, so what did you think of Tommy? Who's not going to be trusted anymore. He's not going to be trusted anymore now that this happens. And they're like, what did you think about Tommy or whatever? And I'm like, I thought it was okay, but I thought like maybe we didn't have that much in common. and you might hear Tommy underneath the seat be like,

exactly. Can we get Frank popping out of the couch and it's always, yeah. Yeah, that's the best one you pop. Oh, that's good too, because then they have to be naked. Yeah, they have to be naked and the couch has to be leather.

Yeah. Yeah, because in always sunny, he's naked in the couch. One of my favorite moments. Yeah, that is like one of the best moments. It's like so terrifying. It's awful. It's horrifying. And he comes out and everyone's like, oh,

the couch gives birth to him in the worst way. And he's not supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah. So that I think is a good thing. Do you have any instincts for what love seat could be other than that? Or are you loving that? I think that's great.

And I think they come out in that way. They're birthed out. Yeah, they're birthed out. Well, actually, I think I think the way they get eliminated is they'll go like, okay, so who would you not want to go on a date with? And they'll be like, oh, Jeff. And then Jeff will naked come out of the love seat, the person's sitting on. And everyone will be like, oh, shit. And then they'll try to go back to the interview like it's normal.

And the person is still going, what is going on? now there's like there's got to be two more people under there. But who else would you not want to go out? Are there other people in this chair? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, great. All right.

So that is the show, Love Seat. Nice. And this is the theme song. Love Seat. They're trapped in the couch. Great. Okay. The next one is called Love Sick.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Love Sick. It's like, I feel like, okay, so I feel like it's, it's got to be. Because it could be sick in the body or mind. Exactly. Exactly. It could be that you, three people, like a single person with no diseases, beats three other single suitors, all with a communicable disease. Not anything that bad. Like a cold.

No. No. They have to. That's not a disease. A cold is not a disease. Okay. Well, it still gets you sick. Sure, but a cold is not a disease. Three sick people show up and they have to, infect. Okay. One is sick in the head, one is sick in the heart, and one is sick in the body. One is sick in the heart. One is sick in the head. One is sick in the body and one is sick in the heart. Yeah, sick in the, yeah. You have to decide. And you have to guess who's who. You have to guess. What is sick in the heart, though? Yeah, okay. So sick in the heart could be one of two things. The sick in the head is like, means mentally ill. Sick in the heart would mean like they have either a cardiovascular illness or they are incapable of. Or they're like capable of. feeling. They're incapable of feeling or maybe they're like just still in love with someone else.

Oh my God. Yes. That's what it is. And they're going through a breakup or something. They're like still hung up on someone else. Yes. Okay. So, so you have to go on three dates with these people and you have to guess which one is sick in the head, sick in the heart, sick in the body. And then hopefully you pick to go on another date with. Hopefully you pick someone who's not sick in the heart because they're still caught up on someone else. So you have to. hopefully either going to pick the person who's sick in the head or sick in the body. And there's so many different ways. And they're trying to throw you off.

100%. No. So like if they get picked. Yeah. They have to die. No. It's a 2000 show. It's pre 9-11.

Well, but the thing about it is in these early 2000s show, there's always like a motive with money. Yeah. There's always like, and if you can fool this person who's just genuinely trying to meet somebody, you get money. You can get money for your medical bills. Oh. So this is a very U.S. specific show. Yeah, it only takes place in the United States. Right.

That makes sense. Yeah, I mean, who would you pick? If you had to pick someone, sick in the head, sick in the heart, sick in the body. Yeah. I don't know. It depends on their personalities. Yeah, I guess it does. Because I could pick, like, I don't want to pick them based on what they're sick in them.

What they're sick in the? Right. But if they're really cool and sick in it. any of those things, then that's fine. I would say I wouldn't want to pick someone who's sick in the heart. Right, because they're still caught up on someone else. It just feels like it's going to be a waste of time. Sure.

Yeah, that makes sense. What's the next one? Okay, so the next one is called Drunk in Love. Oh, great. Yeah. Well, this one feels obviously like it needs to be some drunk daters, right? Yeah, yeah. But, like, how would, you know, what's the best version of that?

Yeah, it's so true. Drunk in Love, the 2000s dating show. Okay. Maybe it's this. Maybe it's like you're going to go on multiple. dates. Your first date is after one glass of wine. Yes. Your second date is after two glasses of wine. Yeah, that's perfect. Their date after three and you keep going until you've had enough. Yeah. Enough dating or enough alcohol. It's up to you. The next date when you're hung over,

you decide the person that you want to be with forever. Forever. And you have to. You're going to have really positive memories of the third person. Of the third or fourth person. Unless you are a person who gets really sad when you're drunk, in which case you might have really bad feelings. Yeah. And so, or we could do it with shots. And that's kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if you're doing like one shot and then you're like, okay, I'm a little like,

yeah. Two shots, three shots, four shots. Yeah. Like by the end, we're like, I don't remember the last date. Yeah. And that is dangerous. And that's dangerous, which is a good cornerstone for like what these shows are supposed to be. Like these shows aren't safe.

No, they're not. They never are. They never are. And they never have been. And so then the other person is drunk. or no? No. Because that's really not safe.

Because the least safe version is that the other person's not drunk. And that is what these shows weren't. Yeah, they are not safe. But we will have a producer on standby being like, no one touch. No one touch. No one is allowed to touch. They're like in between a glass wall and they're doing it on one of those phones for jail. They keep picking up their calls because they're getting a divorce.

Right. And they keep having to be like, oh, sorry, give me a second. Sorry, I got to do this. But they try to make sure no one touches. Yeah. And I feel like what would really happen in this show is like the sober dater would then judge the drunk dater and be like, she was a sloppy drunk, a messy drunk. And that's disgusting. And it would be like, booyoyoy o'oy. Like that would be how it would work. Yes. These shows also did have a lot of like people being truly so vile to the other person's face for no reason at all. Yeah. Okay. How about love bugs? Oh, love bugs. Yeah. across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour.

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Assuming you don't have superpowers. I'll never work again if anyone found out. My lips are sealed. Marvel Television's Wonder Man. All eight episodes now streaming. Only on Disney Plus. Oh, this is really good. Yeah.

Okay, I love bugs. Now, bugs, okay, so bugs can be bugs. Yeah, bugs can be bugs on the floor. Bugs can also be being bugged. Yeah, that's so true. Which does feel this time period. It varies, very much is. Um, oh my God.

So it's a, it's a Mr. Act. You think it's a love show regarding being in a room with too many bugs. Right, of course it would be, right? And that's what people go in thinking. Sure. What it really is. And who wouldn't sign up for that? What it really is is you're bugged for a week.

Afterwards. And we mostly are just seeing. your private information come out. You will go on a date. The date's not really a part of the show. There's too many. We kind of see like highlights of it. There's like a fuck ton of bugs.

And then like for weeks after you're bugged. For weeks after we record everything you said. And the show is mostly being like, you were pretty fucked up for saying this in private. This is what you look like when you pee, loser. Yeah. I think that's great. Wow, that's like such a mean show. Yeah.

Okay. It's so good. Okay. What about mad? in love. Oh, okay. So I do think multiple things once again. Again, it could be multiple things. I do think this takes place in like an anger, anger management class. Yeah. And it's like finding love in an anger management class. But they don't know they're there to find love. Yeah. They're just think they're there. They're there for anger management because that's what they signed up for.

Yeah. Or half the people think they're there to solve their anger problems, but they're actually there to find love. and the other half of the people think they're there to find love, but they've all been submitted by their friends and family because they have terrible anger problems. So, yes. So for half of them, it's a lesson. And for half of them, it's a reward of finding a partner. Yes.

And that creates a perfect dating show. Because none of us are there for the same. I know. It's only bad. It's perfect. It is funny how in early 2000 shows, there were so many things that were like, a friend or family member has submitted

you because you're bad. Yeah, Queen Bees. Did you ever see Queen Bees? No, what was that? Queen Bees was like a show about like bitchy, like Regina George Gurley's. Oh. And it was just kind of like... Is that Stossie? Oh my God.

It literally is. Wait, that's Stossie from Vanderpump Rules. She was on Queen Bees? Oh, that makes so much sense. So... Wait, that's awesome. I mean, here's the thing. Stossy is one of the best reality TV characters.

Like she... I think she's very smart, actually. I think she knows how to play it. And I think she's kind of doing a character. And I, sorry, I'm a Stasi, I'm a Stasi apologist. Okay. So, so what it was is that mean girls. Okay.

Our friends and families would write in and be like, help me. My daughter's so mean. She's so mean. I'm crying. It's like nanny 9-1-1, but for like adults. Yeah. And her friends would be like, help me so much. My friend is mean.

And then these girls thought they were doing like a beauty pageant reality show that was like who's the hottest, like, coolest girl. And then when they got there, it was like, actually, you have to learn how to be nice now or else you won't win the money. Right. Which was kind of fun. I watched that when I was like in elementary school or middle school, and it was like a blast. I don't even remember that one. Yeah. Yeah. There were so many shows that were tricks. Yeah. And there were a lot of traps. Traps. And there were a lot of shows that were like, you dress bad. Yeah. I think you're disgusting and you dress. You are just, Everyone thinks you're disgusting.

So we're going to submit you to get a makeover because you're gross. Yeah. And it was like just somebody who dresses kind of different. Yeah. Yeah. Or just someone who's like, let's just having a nice day. Let's dull your shine.

Yeah. Let's make you less you. Let's make you just kind of blending in. Yeah. Put some gray cashmere on them, you loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what are we doing here? It's like they didn't sign up for this though.

No, so mean. Okay. What about this one? Okay. Love is in the air. Oh, that's pretty good because it sounds like a, bacteria. Or it, yes, it could be bacteria or it could be like, you have to go on a blind date while you're skydiving. Yes. And that would be really this. One person has a parachute, one person

doesn't. Yes. And if you guys like each other, then the parachuted person has to try to catch the person who doesn't have a parachute. Yeah, you hold on to each other and parachute down. And if they die, oops. And if they don't like each other, then you can sign up for this. This is one of the ones you've signed up for. No one volunteered you for this. And then finally, brotherly love. Well, that's awesome because it's just brothers falling in love. It's just a house full of brothers, right? Yeah. It's just a house full of brothers. And the ultimate test is, are you going to fall in love with your brother or someone else's brother? It's like Milf Manor, but before. But with brothers. But with brothers and you can fall in love with your own brother, but you

often fall in love with someone else's brother. Is there a gay porn called Brother Bear? Is there a gay porn called Brother Bear? Because there's a movie called Brother Bear. Yeah, I liked that movie. But that movie sounds very much so. It's, I mean, like it could be. Yeah, I mean, yeah. A gay porn. Oh. So what we've found by accident I want to die.

Is a bunch of Brother Bear the movie themed gay porn. And I want to die because that's not even what I meant. Oh, I want to die. No. That wasn't exactly what we were even. I don't want to see this. This ruins childhood. You were thinking a bear like brothers who are bears.

Like burly, like burly sexy gay man. Exactly. Yeah. And this is more like the real bears from brother bears having sex with humans. Right. Right. Which is not what we really want. No. And that only showed up because Cass was searching it earlier. I mean, okay, wait, I'm so sorry. This is going to maybe have to just get cut, but I just have to say it. This one on the gay.com says gay bear brothers porn and homosexual videos. And then it says, companion stepbrother, bear gay porn. Don't miss a single sticky

white cum. I've always thought of Like that's awesome What do you mean? I've always thought of Come as plural Like don't miss a single Don't miss a single

Sticky Don't miss that's not I don't think that's right No I don't think so But I love that it's wrong Is that referring to like a session? Don't miss a single Don't miss a single session of this

Or don't miss a single drop If they That's what it should be. Don't miss a single drop of St. White Cum. What would be more accurate in terms of like the syntax. Sure, sure, sure. But.

And can we get somebody to fix the syntax on porn titles? Yeah. Because that needs to be fixed. Yeah. It's not always clear what we're looking at. Gay Uncle Brother Bear Porn. Okay, great. I think we can leave this one.

I think I think if we ever want to find this out on our own, we completely are allowed to. You need to watch this later. Yeah. Wow, what a great segment. Music. Kind of music. Gorgeous. God, I love it.

What I like is that so many of those shows are based on the Truman Show reality of nothing is real, even though you think it is. Which is actually a feeling I've been having a lot lately. I feel, I understand that. I a lot lately have been feeling like, what if? Simulation theory kind of vibes or solipsis. But also even on like a smaller scale, like even on a more selfish smaller scale, where I'm like, what if I am secretly failing? Yeah. Bad at everything.

Yeah. Yucky, yucky. And the people around me are so. Have a group chat where they're like, we have to let her think that she's okay and that we like her. So they're like every day in my head. They're like every day. Okay. No, you're doing so good.

No, it's great. You're great. and you look great. You look good. You're doing good. It's good. Yeah. And even just like on a like a weird conspiracy theory level.

Yeah. Sometimes I really do have the thought of like, am I in a hospital? Oh. And these people are like, no, this isn't a hospital. This is a podcast. You can talk about whatever you want. Like there's like so many like random like I'll be in the shower and I'll be thinking like, what if everyone's lying to me?

Yeah. Like I do have that thought quite a bit. I think it makes a lot of sense. And then I think about like, like I'll get those, you know, TikToks that'll be like, here's something to say in the mirror to convince you that like you're good enough and everything is good. The manifestation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I am like, I want to do that. Yeah.

I want to look in the mirror and be like, I'm a lucky girl. I'm a good girl and a lucky girl. And I deserve a lot of money for my good girl, lucky girl ways. Yeah. But the problem is I'm 31. Right. And at the end of the day, that's an adult woman staring into the. mirror and lying. Yeah. And I can't do that. No, and that's the thing too is, it's like,

I want to. Oh, yeah. I feel like. And I want it to work. I want to do it. I want to to work, but I can't get myself to do it. Yeah. I've, I've been trying to detach and dissociate really hardcore recently because I, sick. And it's like really crazy because I, I am trying to, I've found out from a couple of different therapists. They're like, Queenie, you got to go back into OCD treatment, and we're loving that for you. And so I am in the process, in the, in the, I assume it's going to be over a month long process of changing my insurance. Yeah. But you found a great place. I did. Guys, I'm going to be a sponsor. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. Yeah, yeah. I thought you meant Kaiser. Oh, no, no, no. But I, I, I, um, yeah, I, I'm going in. So, so it's like I'm trying so hard,

not to attach to any of my thoughts because they're all going to be bad. Sure. Like, and so many of them are, they're like secret rule thoughts are like, oh, you know, the reason that all of this bad stuff is happening is because you did this one thing one time. Yeah. And it's like, well, probably not. But in my head, I'm like, but like secretly, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.

Something so stupid. Yeah. Or it's like, or it's like something amorphous. Like, well, you're so annoying that like I've genuinely had a, like, I know it's not true and I never thought logically it was true, but some part of me was like, there's a 100% chance that the 2023 writer strike happened because you're annoying.

And it's like, that's nothing. Sure. Like, that can't be anything and that's nothing. But I was like, if I had worked a little harder, get a little bit more ahead. And I was like a little bit less fucking grading. None of this shit would have happened. When I was a kid, for some reason,

I always had the thought of like, you can't do a somersault in the pool, so everyone you love is going to die. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't even do a somersault in the pool. So everyone's going to die early. Yeah.

And it's like, yeah. What? Yeah. I get like, like if I don't call my parents and tell them I love them, everyone's going to die. A somersault in the pool. A summer salt in the pool is awesome. That's very, that's very real. It's so child.

It's like, okay. So I can't do a summer salt in the pool. Like, it's so OCD. It's like, it's completely, yeah. And like, it's so weird. Yeah. And now my algorithms trying to make me go into psychosis. And that has been really funny.

Have you seen the thing about, and I don't know how true this is. Yeah. I heard it on another podcast. Everything. So I don't really know how real this is. Apparently. Well, everything on a podcast is always true. Apparently.

And you're not in a coma. Apparently some people, apparently some people are meditating so hard that they go into psychosis. Can we look that up? That's awesome. That's so fucking sick. Wait. So. Which I don't mean to laugh at because if that.

That's true. That's actually that sucks so much because you're like doing the thing that you're like, yeah. I'm supposed to do this and then it just sends you into an absolute crazy. No, but like. But meditating so hard you go into psychosis is like the wildest. They were going into psychosis. Now, this is on Reddit, so I don't know how much you can trust it, but I did hear. Well, my ex thought Reddit was the news. Right.

Should it do was that? Right. Why am I angry while meditating? Meditation induced psychosis. Okay, this is a real website. Yeah. Wow. Okay, but what's the science behind that? Because I'm actually really interested. I think it's kind of like if you do anything enough, maybe you can go a little crazy vibes. Well, it's also like meditation is it like you get really, I mean, you get really meta. You're like observing your own thoughts. You're detaching from your own from like, you know.

Sure. So I think you're doing too much weird introspection. Yeah. When my dad used to meditate too much like he would have like nothing would bother him and it would then he'd be like, oh, that's actually. weird. Like, people would come in and be like, hey, guys, everyone might be getting fired today at work. And he'd be like, sounds fucking great. Oh, you become like kind of just too chill. So fucking Zen that you're just like, I don't even give a fuck. Hit me with a car. That's sick. But, and yeah, like he would describe it as like getting kind of like detached or something. But yeah. Now, obviously this is not like a proven thing. So meditate. You're fine. You're good. More people are going through psychosis by just being on chat. CheapT. Truly. But also just like such a funny thing to think about. Oh yeah. I meditated way too hard and now I went into psychosis. Yeah. I would self-caring into psychosis. But I feel like right now in the world, anything could drive someone. Like you could go into psychosis for anything. And also I think the idea of doing too much introspection. Oh yeah. Could could totally send you into psychosis because you're like, oh no, I'm way too deep. You can 100%. You can compulsively over. You can like self work can be a compulsion. And that's really interesting too because it's like, well, how do I know when I'm trying to do like trying to do work on myself and how do I know when I'm using doing work on myself to replace or to like quell other anxieties or make me feel like I have control or like go too deep to a point where it's like, girl, just go outside. You're literally fine. It's like the webmd thing where when you get into a spiral and you go, oh, I have this and I have this and I have this and I have this and I have this. It's like going to make you go nuts. 100%. And at some point you have to like put it away because now we're in sad vibes territory. And what I will say is sad vibes are out there. But you know what? It's not sad.

What? And this is going to help everyone. Yeah. The Merlin ID Bird app. Oh. Again, that the one Carrie uses? Yeah. Again, not sponsored. My friends, Jeremy and Kara, told me about this app. And the reason I am telling you about this is because it is a lovely thing. Is it free? It's free. That's everything. And it will help you, your mental health. It will help you get out of your own head because birds are good. It is Shazam for birds. Oh, that's everything.

You literally put your phone up to the outdoors or indoors. Yeah. You can hear birds all over. You click a button and it tells you all the birds that are talking around you. And then you can log them. It's so nice. I know this feels like a stark contrast. The reason I'm telling you is because it is helpful.

You'll be like, I love birds. And it'll take you out of your own head for like a second. Yeah, we went to the botanical gardens. other day. It was lovely. And you'll be like, oh my God, this many red-tailed whatever's are around me. Yeah. This many bull-bowls are around me. This many, like, whatever's are around. It's so nice. Red-tailed whatever's and whatever's. There's so many species. There's so many species like red-tailed whatever's, whatever's. But they're so cute. Birds are cute and it'll make you feel good. And you know what? It's good to also have things that you can be excited about,

even if they're small or even if they're big. Just like write down a list of things you're excited about. Birds are good. Like red till whatever's. Regular whatever's. Regular whatever's. Bowbles. Bowels, whatever's.

It doesn't matter. I don't care. Where does the bird that we saw the other day a tit? What is it? A bush tit. A bush tit. Which is like bush and tit. Yeah.

And it's a bush tit and it's really cute. It's so cute. They're really cute. American bush tit. Tit. Yeah. She was an American Bush tit. Yeah. She's gorgeous. I think that we should get really into birds. Yeah. Like sexually? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Well, we're going to try doing that. All right. We're going to try becoming attracted to birds, you guys. You guys, thank you so much for being here. If you ever want other episodes early, extended, uncut. If you want Q&As, if you want movie nights, if you want a bunch of fun stuff, get over to our Patreon. It is cheap. It's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's just so much fun, you guys. You got to come over.

So much fun, you got to get over there. And if not, no worries. And we will see you next Tuesday. Freeze frame. Freeze frame.