Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Courtney Miller Is A Podcast Bro!

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

This week, Syd and Olivia are out of town on official government business which means it's BRANCH & GREVORR week! The guys invite sigma king Dominic Patron to chat about how he handles betas, maintains his sigma status, and what the frickin' deal is with his ex-GF Courtney Miller who just got married! Sh*t!  Chapters 00:00 | Intro 00:39 | Dominic Patron's Story & Rise To Small TikTok Fame 03:59 | Branch Orders a Cameo 06:00 | Grevorr Explains the 7 Kinds of Men 12:35 | Dominic Tells the Boys What Women Are Like 14:45 | Devils Advocate 20:10 | Grevorr Shares An Exciting Life Update 25:40 | Dom Share Advice On How To Be A Real Man 28:46 | How Dom Bagged Hottie Courtney Miller from Smosh 32:20 | Man Quiz! 43:10 | The Boys Talk About Their Hopes and Dreams In A Dude Way Bonus content on Syd & Olivia's Patreon! (Branch & Grevorr do not profit share in this) ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whoa, what the actual f***. The actual f***s up. The actual f***ing is happening. Oh, my God, wow. I bet you're probably thinking, oh my gosh, wow. These hosts that are far superior are back. Yeah, because if you know about the podcast, then you know that there's a subsection of the podcast within the podcast where my friend

Grever and I, my name is Branch Radley. We get together and we give you some of the testosterone you've been craving. That's Branch. That's Branch Bradley. I'm Grever Manston, and this is Branch and Grever Talks. Beobit, be, beep, beep, beep. Today we have, like, an absolutely spectacular guest. It's actually our first time bringing on a guest.

I'm not even going to lie to you. I made crazy diary before this. Oh, too. I literally, like, I'm always trying to not bring on a guest, what with the fact that then there is less time for me to talk. Yeah. But this time, I think it's really worth it. Do you want to introduce our guest?

Yeah, so our guest is someone you might recognize from bagging an absolutely baddie in the past. What's that like? What's that like? How do you write it? And you might know him now as the biggest sigma in all of the internet. Um, this is Dominic. What's up everybody? The dogs are out and the dogs are in. Yeah, the dogs are out and the dogs are in, which is exactly what I would have said to if I had said something. Dominic Patron. Yeah, Dominic Patron's here. Dominic, how's it going, man? How's your day been? I'm so sorry. from creating my own path. Whoa, shit.

Oh my God. Somebody get a stretch doctor in here, man. You know what I? That's so crazy. Sometimes I get sore from touching my own foreskin. It shouldn't be that hard to touch it. It's just that because I'm always crawling because I live in a crawl space, it's like sometimes when I have to stretch out because my foreskin is twice the size of my

puppy, sometimes it just kind of creates some soreness for me. Anyway, I'm having a semantic response. I'm so comfortable. Dominic, hey, how did you get, like, so freaking? Yeah, Dominic, we're bringing you on because, like, you are famous for a couple of things, and we want to talk to you about a couple of things, but you want to talk to us about, like, how you came to L.A. started becoming, like, the guy who, like, every pussy wants to be on the dick of.

Dude, please. Like, you're so flattering for me right now, dude. I actually just, one of the first day, I'm so honored to be here because, like, you can just smell the testosterone in here that it's, like, so magical to be, and you're so limber. on this chair. Thank you. I wear a diaper. You're both so limber somehow.

But, ah, man, you know, I came to L.A., moved here for my girl, and then my girl. Never do anything for a woman? Clearly, I learned that because she dropped me for a short king, so. Okay, sorry. He's taller than me, but. What was this? Why would you move to L.A. for a woman? What is so special about a woman that she could ever make you want to move to another place that is

not where you are? Dude, honestly, period. That's on my, that's on period. What was her name? I was probably stupid. Uh, yo, her name was Courtney Miller. She was literally pretty cool. She was such a bright star that I thought maybe her shine could bring me back.

Bring me and get my shine, my stardom. I didn't realize you dated Courtney Miller. For a short time, yeah, she really liked me, but I guess my pranks were too much. What was the final prank that, like, broke the cannibal's back? You know, okay, so I put, like, squirt gums with milk in them at people, and then just, you know, stealing Xanax and other fun prank. like that. And I think she got over my dancing pretty quick. You know, I think... That's impossible. She might have been... She might have been jealous.

But then I moved in and, you know, I did the classic climb through L.A., you know, living in one bedroom with three other guys in a studio apartment. I'm yet to achieve that step. That's so cool. Yeah, it's fun. It's actually iconic of me. And I'm on cameo. So... Oh, way. That's so crazy. I just ordered a cameo from you right now. Oh, shit. Hey Dominic, my friend, who I won't name, is kind of stressing me out lately because he doesn't seem to appreciate me and all the love I give to him. Any advice? Oh, wow. Okay, I think I just got that one. Okay, let me go. Sorry someone's doing that to you.

Yeah, that sucks. Let me try a video and show you guys the magic or the magic happens. Hey, this cameo is for Branch. Hey, cameo for Branch. I'm so sorry that you have a pussy-ass bitch friend. You deserve better. And it's all about the come up. Constantly coming, coming up. Constantly coming up. Constantly coming up.

Star power, Sigma Mail out. Oh, dude, that was actually so good. High five. That's three dollars I ever made. Oh, yeah, that's so good. Dude, whoever that friend is that you were talking about, I'm sure that when you send them that cameo, like, they are going to feel like fucking shit. Yeah, they're going to feel a beta mode.

Yeah, they must feel like a fucking beta. One day they will. What are you guys, by the way? Speaking of that's what I was going to say. Yo! Whoa! It's like we're all on the same level. It's our testosterone.

I feel the electricity. It's like we're all different doctor strangers in the multiverse, all holding hands together in the multiverse, giving kisses on each other's cheeks. So what is the sigma? Oh, bro. A sigma is a person who creates our own path. I'm not dealing with the alpha. BS. I'm not dealing with the beta or whatever the other ones are. I'm all about picking my direction. I'm not like other guys. And you are not like other girls. And I like them with you.

Whoa. That was crazy. That did stuff to my body. I just literally felt a release inside of me. Okay. So here's the great news is that I don't know if you and I mean, we call each other alphas and sigma all the time. And we absolutely are not betas. But I don't know if we've ever actually pinpointed what we are. And I'm going to read the seven male personality types. Hell yeah, there's seven. There are seven men? There are seven men. I've really met three and we're all in this room. Three of us right now.

Okay, so we're going to go through this list. Okay, we're going to go through pretty fast, but just tell me all your thoughts. Okay. So, okay, so the first one is alpha male, right? Alpha male are strong-willed leaders who love to take charge. They're brave, high-achieving social, like a CEO, a manager, military general, politician. people like William Wals from Braveheart or Maverick from Top God. Or Dr. Strange.

Or Dr. Strange is pretty affluent because when he loses his hands, it does not stop him. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Makes sense, yeah. Next stop, uh, beta male. Beta males are extremely kind. Uh-huh.

We're truly kinded down to earth. Shire and more was friends, potential, and, like, they could be a good doctor, or like a social worker. What is your doctor supposed to be simping over you while you're on the operation table? What is that? Popular male beta characters include my cousin Angelica's boyfriend Cliff. Oh! You lord is strong!

The point is such a beta, okay. Then there's a gamma male. They are the life of the party. They're adventurous, fun-loving, and goofy. Wait, gamma? Yeah, gamma. Like gamma radiation? Like gamma radiation. Whoa, what is that?

Okay, so a gamma meal is the life of the party. They could be an actor or a travel agent. What? What? Their adventures are life-changing, and, and, and, uh, and they're like, Joey from the female show friends. Whoa, you're good to hear me right now. Oh, my God, sorry.

I like, always do that and I don't realize it. That's why I got in so much trouble. Yeah. Branch, yeah. Dominic, have you ever been to a party? Yes, I have been to a party. And I'm just, I'm blown away by this whole gamma thing because does that mean that the Hulk is a gamma?

Like, you know what I'm saying? like, is the Hulk the life of the party? Is the Hulk the life of the party? Okay, gentlemen, is the Hulk the life of the party? Okay, gentlemen, now this is the gentleman's question. Okay, no, this is just a question the gentleman. Is the Hulk the life of the party? Is the Hulk, when you go to the party, is the Hulk the biggest life of the party that you're having at the party?

He is the very, I guess scientifically, he is the biggest life, and he's the biggest. When you've been to a party was the Hulk there? Oh my God. I have seen somebody, 40, Edward Fordy Hands. You know what that means? No. I know what that means because I'm on, I'm on the internet often. Yes, you are.

you look like it, buddy. And so, Edward 40 hands is when you buy a 40, which is 40 millimeters, wait, 40 ounces of beer. And you tape them to your hands. But, and then you can't have them off until you finish them all. But somebody put whole cans on their hands and put the 40s in the hands. And that was pretty fun. That's like the life in the party. That's like actually so gamma.

Actually, that is like the most gas you can do. Wow. Okay, next up we've got Delta Mail. It's an airline. It's an airline. Delta males are very responsible and keep the world moving. They're highly adaptable. They're known for their competence and work ethic rather than their leadership and ambition. Okay, so that is not me. That sounds like Delta. Sounds like NPC moment. Yeah, they're like Jim from the female show The Office. Um, yeah. He's like a Delta male. He's just like a worker. It's like a worker aunt. It's like a worker aunt. That's like one of the shows I've actually watched. And I feel like Jim is a Sigma. Did Courtney Miller make you watch that show? Yes, he did. I mean, he's just like a worker. I mean, She always had this weird obsession with, like, coworkers being in love with each other. It's strange. I wonder, I wonder what that's from.

Like, what is that from? She's so weird, dude. I know. Where does that come from? Where does that come from? Okay, then there's a Zeta male. Zeta? Wait, okay.

I forgot that there's seven. Yeah, do you guys? Yeah, this is Yiddish for grandfather. Yes. That's Zedah. That's Zed. It's Spanish. Zadamales.

So Zeta males are one of a kind progressives. They're the least talked about personality type. They're rare, non-conform. Okay, I'm feeling like this is me. They're rare nonconformists who don't care what people think. They know themselves and refuse to change to fit into the rigid, rigid, social standards of society. I like when you read rigid well. They're like John Keating from the Dead Poet Society or Augustus from the vaults in our stars. Augustus Gloop. Augustus Gloop is my spirit animal. Okay, next stop. Not number six, we've got the Sigma Mail. That's me. They're confident mentors who play by the.

their own rules. They have all the confidence of alphas, but they aren't interested in the power or social status. They have enough experience to follow their own compass and spend their time helping people and discovering their inner power. You've got wit intuition and you're bold, nurturing, and wise. Okay, that's good. And then finally, an Omega male. Mega, Omega, Omega. Omega. Oh, they're hot. It's fish oil. They're skilled... It's fish oil. The best way to get some fish oil in your life is to have it's been fed to you by your mummy dearest. Now, mommy might not want to come all the way up to the attic, but sometimes you can convince her to come by pretending you're dead. So if that's the case, you might be an Omega male.

Omega males are skilled introverts who don't need external validation. Fish oil. I thought I had to get Omega's. I literally just eat like three pounds of raw salmon. Whoa. Can I touch your foot? He already did. They like their own inventions and ideas instead of others.

So maybe that's me also. So you're an Omega and you're a zeta? I think so. I feel like your fusion of a fusion. Yeah, what are you? You're allowed to be whatever you want, dude. you can step on my face. So you're, what are you with Sigma?

I'm a Sigma. I'm Sigma through and through. I mean, gamma sounds appealing. But I feel like maybe one day gamma will be thrust upon to me. Oh, I love to feel like you'll have a gamma era. Yeah. What do you think you are? I feel like I don't necessarily identify with being a Sigma, but I think I am a stigma because my doctor said I have a large rash on my foreskin

that I am currently trying to get rid of through oils. Omega 3 fish oil? Omega fish oil. Yeah, I love Omega's. It's the best way to get Mommy to give you a tablespoon. So, anyway, so anyway, how are you guys doing? Do you want to talk more about that? I feel amazing.

I feel like it's kind of a weird time to change the subject. So, anyway, what are you drinking? Oh, so this is a lighty drink. And what I like about it is it makes me feel so wonderful. Dude, is that like a chick drink? Oh, yeah, if it were a chick, I'd drink. It's all up. Yo, that's like some strength and behavior.

Oh, you guys. Have you met a woman? Yes, I have met women. Can you tell us about how that is? Oh, man, they got like skirts and like they smell like vanilla. And they talk about shit. They love talking shit. Can you do me a favor, dude?

What's up? Okay, so I got this candle for myself recently. Or you got yourself a candle? Yeah. And it says Smells like my cousin Angelica And listen There's no specific reason

It says that But I am just curious Smell this and let me know If it smells like a woman Smell a woman, eh? This is really intense Oh she's He's smelling the air

Don't misgender him What do you say? I didn't do anything He misgendered you I did not do anything What the fuck? What the fuck? No I'm just

I'm absolutely joking. You guys not take a joke? Like, this is liberal woke America and you guys can't take a joke? I don't know about this energy you're putting out right now. How's the candle smell? It's incredible. Isn't it good? Do you want to smell it?

Does it smell like a girl? This, in fact, smells like the feminine nature. Okay. Oh, be careful, dude. I actually really like that smell. Can guys smell like vanilla too? Yeah, a man can do anything he wants. You're right.

I don't understand. Okay, so this smells exactly like my mother. there's curdled breast milk. Carnled? Yes, when I leave it into... Curdled? Curdled or curdled? Curdled as in God bad,

not curdled as in turned into kettle corn. Yes, because I don't think you understand that if you leave it on the countertop too long, it does bubble. Remember when you had corn stuck in your tummy-tummy and your mom had to put it and get it out? What's the difference between a tummy and a tummy-tum? I've had some...

I had corn stuck in his tummy-tumny-tum and his mom had to jump in his tummy to get it out. It's the classic Heimlich maneuver. Yeah. My mommy had to jump on my tummy-tummy to get the corn out, But in fact, sometimes I do also keep Russell's brouts in the bottom of my throat, just for a snack for a liter. And anyway, anyway. When the weather cools down, Golden Nugget Online Casino turns up the heat.

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So we kind of wanted to play a game with you. Do you like games? I love games. Can I have my cousin back? When they're playing with my heart. Are you ready? Whoa. Okay, so I'm literally an athlete.

Okay, so I'm literally an athlete. So I'm literally a fucking spy? A bowling league is probably in your future. Oh, my God. Dude, you could get hard bowling stuff. I can't bowl because it's down one lane. I need to pick multiple. You create your own lane.

You create your own lane. Oh my God. You're so sore from creating your own lane. I read that article about you getting kicked out of the bowling alley, and now it makes all that sense. Yeah, dude. It wasn't because I was sticking my fingers in the chicken tender batter. I wasn't.

Yeah. Okay. So we're going to play a game that's our favorite game to play. It's called Devil's Advocate. So let's play the music! Stop! Stop! Stop! You did it too loud! So the thing about devil's advocate is, it is a game where, as you know, is a white straight male.

Your favorite thing to do is play devil's advocate. So in this game, we're going to say a statement that everybody knows it's true. And then we will each try to find the devil's advocate, the devil's advocate to the statement. You all see how it worked. It's so crazy symbol. Okay, he wants to start off with a statement. You want to start, should I start off with something? Yeah, see something that's just true.

I'm going to say murder is bad. Okay. Devil's advocate? Yeah. Devil's advocate, how can murder be bad when you have to absolutely slay that puss sometimes? Oh, yay! Devil's advocate, devil's advocate, um, slaying the puss is something you've never done.

Whoa, devil's advocate, you've pet a cat before. Yeah, yeah! Oh, devil's advocate, he did kill a cat. I'm devil's advocating myself. He killed a cat once he hit a cat with his car. Devil's advocate? I thought it was a ghost. Devil's advocate, you thought it was a ghost?

I just thought it was a ghost. Okay, devil's advocate, ghosts deserve to live too. Devil's advocate, ghosts can't live because they're not paying taxes. Whoa. Yeah. Devil's advocate, you don't have to pay taxes in the multiverse. Because in the multiverse, you can be in separate different universes. They'll never tell you this.

Yeah, and you can write it off probably. But you can write it off. You don't have to pay taxes because you can shift into different universes all the time. And then who can really tell? Yeah, and piggybacking on that devil's advocate, Elon Musk doesn't pay his, Well, I was going to say Devil's Advocate in Elon Musk's new multiverse. We're all going to have to pay taxes, except for me because I'm going to become a billionaire. Because you retweet him every day. Yeah, I retweet him every day. So I think that's going to count for something. Devil's Advocate? I think a cyber truck is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Devil's Advocate, it looks like a loner car of when your car's in the shop, and yet they have to give you like a practice fake box car to be driving around, but I still want one. Devil's Advocate, it looks like a drawing of a car that I would have done years ago. Devil's advocate, you're lying. You actually did a drawing of a car. I have it on my fridge. If you do, it's not something you would have done. It's something you actually did. Devil's advocate, you still have that? Yeah, you drew it this morning. Devil's advocate, are you guys okay? Are we okay? Okay, you want to do any...

Let's do another statement. Okay, do you want to... Yeah, yeah. Okay, devil's advocate. It's okay to cry. Devils advocate, except that then you are weak and you are feminine. Oh. Devil's advocate? If you are feminine, you are more like my mother and my mother's a strong individual.

Devil's advocate. She actually looks rather petite. Devil's advocate except for her honkers. Devil's advocate? They are called milkers because milk dude does come from them. Devil's advocate still? Devil's advocate? Yes.

Wait, devil's advocate, really? Devil's advocate? Yeah. Wait, devil's advocate, as in your mom actively is lactating as we speak? Okay, so this guy doesn't know how women work. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Yeah, you're the only one who doesn't know how women work in the room.

That's crazy. I'm going to, like, lock myself in a closet for hours and think about that. New statement. New statement. You, you. Um, boy sports are better than girl sports. Devil advocate, there's no such thing as girls sports. Devil's advocate, I love watching a cheerleader dance around. Devil's advocate, cheerleader dancing around, not a sport.

I can't have I think we all agree now there's no ball there's no ball wait you actually just blew my mind that there's no ball have you guys ever thought about the fact that there's no ball in cheerleading

okay wait what do you throw they say oh it's a sport but where's the fucking ball where's the ball you guys I'm literally freaking out right now if cheerleading is a sport where's the ball

where is the ball Have you guys ever played a sport? Name a sport without a ball. None. I can't. Not cheerleading. Not cheerleading. I've never played a sport, but I knew I could if I so chose to.

But I have intellectual pursuits instead of physical pursuits because I'm not a child. Okay, hot. I was going to ask, like, do you have like a physical hobby? Gooning. That is. I'm doing it right now. And that's on period, brother. I'm named right now.

Thank you. Sorry. That's okay. It's okay. Thanks for doing what I wanted to do is just wear socks and no shoes today. Oh my God, we do anything you wanted to do. We're just following the Sigma lead. Hey, can I share a really exciting life update?

Please. How many life updates? Okay, so as we all know, because we'll follow my situation very closely, my evil bitch cousin Angelica, who decided that I was not good enough for her for some reason. Roasted. Roasted. Yeah, absolutely roasted. She started dating this new guy, Cliff, who works in Lexington.

tech or something. Cliff and Tech will literally go go fuck off. Named after Montgomery at Cliff. So I's gay icon. I think I've used my dark tactics pretty well to get Angelica back. Yes, please. I've used my dark tactics. I kind of want to

get somebody back to. Yeah, I have some dark tactics. I can't share. So you can't share. I can share. I'm going to share them right now on this podcast. So essentially, Angelica asked me repeatedly to stop contacting her. And in And after a while of like obviously contacting her, I stopped, right?

Because that's my dark tactic because now she's going to want me. She's expecting her. She's expecting her consent. No, it's not that I'm respecting her consent. It's that I'm tricking her into thinking I don't want her okay. Okay, so your dark tactic is being manipulative. Yeah, duh. But like if, but if like, if it didn't work, why was this left on my...

Did you work? Is your dick a paper? No. Whoa. My dick is totally normal. and the paper was also next to it and that's okay. Damn, I thought you were packing.

I got this note from an anonymous person in scented marker. Maybe your true love is right in front of you. Yeah. So I think it's probably working because I ignored her

and then she knows that she can't even get me. That's crazy. Yeah, leave them wanting more, you know? Even when they already didn't want it anymore. What do you got? What is that? That's so crazy that you got that.

that note. Yeah. Do you believe that? What? Do you believe that? Yeah, I believe that she's probably my true love, even though I have to forgive her for a lot of stuff. Was she in front of you when you read the note? No.

Who was in front of you when you read the note? We were there. Yeah, we were there. I mean, we were both there. Okay. And there was no mirror around by any chance. No, that would be sick, though. Yeah, if you were like...

They try to trick you a little epic love yourself moment? Ew. No, it wasn't a love yourself, man. I think it was truly just her reaching out with her grimy little hands to get me back. Yeah, probably. What are you rubbing on your neck, dude? It's just my goiter. Okay.

What's a goiter, dude? I've always had this goiter because I have a lot of physical problems with my body. Mostly because of how much I crawl, mostly because of how much the spine is turned. Do you know that Branch is like, do you know Branch is like the fucking champion crawler of like the state of North America. I literally won first place crawler in all of the up over 30 division. Oh, you're 30? I'm over 30.

Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. If I were 19, would I still live with my mother?

I am over 30. And so anyway, I did win best crawling in the over 30 division. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's a pretty big deal. So anyway, wow. How old are you, dude? I realize how old are you? I turned 30 this year, man.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So sick. He'd be in supple, trying to stay out of the phone. Keep in it supple? Yeah, keep it supple. Yeah, I do spend it. Hey, I do have a question, Dominic. You did reference earlier kind of trying to get back a woman.

Oh, yeah. Is it your ex? Yeah, dude. I mean, I wouldn't be getting her back. I'd be just getting her, but. Oh, shit. That's such a good point. You know what I mean?

Like, you know, I feel like. Like, if Shane could fight, can he fight? Shane Taugh. That's who she left me for. She dropped my ass for that. Aren't they legally married? I don't fucking know. Dude, that dude is always falling down the stairs.

That guy is literally always falling down the stairs. Well, he's holding several books and falling down the stairs. What a beta falling down the stairs. That's beta behavior letting gravity affect you like that. Oh my God. I literally defy gravity like health of all. You're in an ad. Like what?

What? Did you guys see Wicked? Dude, don't even do that. You don't have to say, you don't have to have seen wicked to know what defying gravity is. Okay, you guys are both crazy. You guys are both fucking. It's a beautiful ball. Okay, you guys are fucking sissies, but, okay.

Wait, but do you have a musical you like the greatest showman or most guys like the greatest showman or? You like, you like musicals? Most guys, I don't know, I'm a stigma, so I'm, you know, I'm always the anomaly in the situation. That's so awesome. I love Susical. I love Susical, the musical, because I relate to all of the Wickersham brothers. They are monkeys. The Wickersham brothers, they're always getting into something.

I feel like your leg is going to snap a nap in any moment. I am just cradling it. Something you should have done to me long ago. Sorry? What? What? What? What?

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? You guys, I feel like there's some tension in the room. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, and I know that naturally that's just a tension that men carry with ourselves. We haven't gooned that day. Yeah. It is a natural tension.

Guys, everybody, we can let's break this tension right now. Yeah, Dominic, can you give us some, like, advice about how to be, like, the best man we could be? Yeah, can you give us advice on, like, how to be a better man like you? Yo, sometimes it's just, like, about expressing yourself in ways that are more than just, like, being mad, you know? What's up? Like, expressing my anal glands, like, a chihuahua? That's, like, what a chihuahua has to do. Are you a chihuahua?

No, but I do have some of the features of one. No, that's just silly branch. Yeah, I like how you call me that. I like when you call me branch. Yeah, because you're kind of bent one of more. What are you, like, sweet on him? What are you talking about? What's like, what is this?

Oh, are you jealous? What? What? What? What are you talking about? You seem really fucking jealous. You seem like you're freaking hitting on him, dude. Oh, that's, and that would be so wrong?

You guys, I think you both need to jerk off in the same room. I think you're a bigot. What? I think you're a bigot. I'm sorry, extrapolate. I just saw Angels in America, and I think you're a bigot. As I've been saying earlier, I was on a musical's kick. I really liked Susical the Musical, so I decided to explore the theater and see what it has to offer.

And I saw Angels in America. I saw a community production of Angels in America, and I now realize you're a bigot. Dude, what am I a bigot at? Me. See, I thought Bigot at. I thought big a, like some people were saying it is like referring to your penis. Oh, like a big hit? And you're big.

Yeah. That's what I thought that meant. That's so funny, Dominic. I'm a bigot. I've got a big it. Yeah. It was something. Oh, okay.

I thought that was. I'm like, yeah, damn right. I'm a bigot. Like that's right. I'm a huge it. Dominic, when did you realize you had such a big it? Oh my God. When I found out about my bigot size, uh, man.

It's all about looking in the mirror and reflecting, you know, not just emotionally, but physically. assess the situation. Do you journal? No, no. I dance. Oh, right. You dance instead of journey. That's like the same thing.

Yeah, I mean, literally, yeah. It is. Can you show us a dance? Yes. Oh, my God. Wait, this is so sick, dude. Wait, this is so sick. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh. Is it still happening? It's done. It's terminated. Dance terminated. Dance terminated.

Guys, those were my three signature moves. Get right. What are they called? The three signature moves. I just fucking said. Whoa. Dude, he just fucking said. Sorry.

I'm very vulnerable for me to do. No, dude, we really appreciate your vulnerability. I feel like you're setting an example for men all across the multiverse, which is now very taxable. It's the display of physical wealth. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'd love to witness the display of physical wealth.

Again? I just did it. I mean, like, I love to watch it. Like, in general, like, that's a great. Did I defuse the tension? Yeah. Yeah, I think I've used no attention now. Okay, why is it we feel no attention now?

Is it crazy? I feel great. I feel great. Are you a question? Yes, what's up? How did you originally attract, like, known haughty Courtney Miller? Oh, yeah, that's like such a good question, actually. Yeah, usually I would ask a question like that because it's very intelligent.

Yeah, I feel like you're very much ahead of the game. You're like two steps ahead. Thank you. Three. Yeah, absolutely three or four steps I had. Each step for each mutton shop you got. I, I achieved status with Courtney via cute pranks and dancing because she loved first impressions, a good laugh, a good dance, and a good razzle-dazzle prank.

Did you meet her online or in person? Met her in person, yeah. Where? It was shortly before I was kicked out of the bowling alley. Oh, shit. Oh, yes, yeah. Dude, did you pull any razzle-dazzle pranks at the bowling alley? Yeah, I dipped a few things in the chicken tender oil batter.

But not your fingers. Not my fingers. I would not do that. Did you dip your big it inside of the chicken tender batter? Fellas, if you're not dipping your big it inside of the chicken tender's batter. Yeah, if you're not... I didn't think... Sorry, go, go, go, go.

I was just going to say if you're in your 20s and 30s and your circle isn't dipping their big it in the chicken tender batter, you need a new circle. You need to reassess. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, because I thought step two would be fry it, but then I realized that would be... not be very nice to my big it, you know. That's actually such a good point. Yeah.

They kicked me out anyway, but she thought that was funny. And she likes a good laugh. Yeah. Do you guys have good laughs? Yeah. Wait, as in like... Do you have a laugh that's like a good laugh? I think so.

Yeah, what's your big... What's my good laugh? My good laugh? Okay. What's your good laugh? My good laugh. It's like this. Oh.

Where, that is such a good laugh. What's your good laugh? What's your good laugh? laugh. That's so you. That's such a good laugh. I learned so much about both of you with your laughs. And I know that that's a good way to get somebody more interested in you.

My laugh? Ha ha! Yeah! Dude, that's such a good laugh. Dude, that laugh is so sexual. That laugh is so good. Dude, do you laugh during sex? Because I just picture you having sex being like, ha ha!

Yeah! You shouldn't picture me. Actually, you can. I'll allow it. You can picture me doing that. But I just try to laugh when it's like when someone says a funny thing. Do people say funny things a lot during sex? Not that I've never had sex.

I just want to know if people are usually saying their jokes or saving them for later. Yeah, sometimes she would like be sarcastic and be like, oh, you're smaller than I thought. And I would go, I go, ha ha. Well, that sounds. That's the best joke to make during sex I've heard. I would love if that was me. Yeah, like, because you know they're actually meeting like, no, it's actually so big. Right. It's sarcasm like how every woman on a dating app who swipes left.

Donnie is fluent in sarcasm. Donnie, you're literally like the only guy we've ever met who has game. Do you have like a good pickup line? Yeah. That is so good. Oh my God. That was not the pickup line. Oh, my God.

Wait, okay. This is just bonus points. Usually you catch their attention with a good laugh. They hear your laugh and they go, oh, what's that? And then they look over and then they see a jolly guy dancing where he shouldn't be. Like in a construction zone? Like in the La Brea tarpits? Those are two places you can't dance.

You shouldn't dance. You shan't, you shan't, dude. Dude, if I could count all the times, I shan't dance. Like, grandmother's funeral. Mother's funeral, father's funeral, I shan't dance. I shall dance at father's funeral. I shall. Okay, so we have another game.

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Make it sing AI builds the deck so you can build that thing Learn more at adobe.com slash do that with acrobat We have a really good game So So on one of our Oh wow I feel like your foot's gaining new

Like it's its own You know, what is your foot doing? It's crazy. You got like it's... Sometimes my foot just has to massage my wrist because it gets a little tired. It looks crazy. Guys, I would prefer that we not talk about my physical ailments. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Okay? Okay. I just want to set some boundaries. I feel like I need to break the tension. Oh, you know. Whoa, whoa, go, go, go, go. Yeah, this is everything.

Go, go. Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted to see. I forgot what was happening. I just blacked out. It's a little Fortnite for you. Whoa. Oh, you play that? No.

Okay. Okay, awesome. Okay, so this is a game called Man Quiz music. Hey. It's music. Stop it! Stop the music. I'm freaking out.

Okay. I get different music. That music reminds me of some really bad stuff. Oh, shit. Okay, so this is a game called Man Quiz. Now, Dominic, you're about the manliest man I've ever. men in my man life. So we're about... Yeah. So we're going to

ask you some questions and we're all going to kind of think about it and try to find the answers. Now, these are questions only a real man can answer. Okay. Well, then I'll absolutely be answering them all correctly. Yeah, we got the right crows. Are you guys ready for the first question? Yeah. Question number one.

Where is the prostate and why it make me go, yeah? Excellent question. I've accidentally done that many a time. Such a good question. Yeah, it's like... It's a two-parter, yeah. Is it a two-partner? Well, yeah, where is the prostate and why it makes me go, yeah?

Great. Yeah, it's like up in there. Yeah, it's in your, it's in your, it's in your dick. You guys haven't had your first, like, prostate-oh. Oh, I did. I had my first prostate orgasm during Megaloplas. Oh, orgasm. I went, okay, that's a different thing.

Yeah, during the scene where, um, during the scene where the, uh, the bubble gets really small. It turns into Looney Tunes. And it turns into Looney Tunes, and he goes, you killed your wife. I know you killed your wife. I had a full body prostate orgasm during that. And I think he came from my penis, but I don't know. So where is that?

Where is that? That's your, that's right up in there. No, no, no, no. No, no. It's not a new penis. Where is it? Where is it? It's in the back lot.

What is in the back lot? It's like if your balls are the building. Okay, yeah, absolutely. My balls are the building, and I'm always saying that. Your ball of the building. Your penis is the driveway. Why is my penis the driveway? Because that's how, that's something getting in and out, baby.

So my love, that's such a good point. Falls is the building. Frosty's the back lot. Like, it's like, it's been, it's not quite the exit, but it's the back. Your taint. Imagine. It's in your taint. Yes.

I think so. I think it's in your taint. Okay, and then why does it make me go yeah? Oh, yeah. Why does it make him go yeah? I don't know. Okay, that's such a good point. You're right. You're actually right.

Okay, so it's in your taint and we don't know. That's the answer. Are you happy, though? I'm really happy. Then that's all that matters. That all this matters. Such a good point. My God.

You were literally the most positive influence I've ever had in my life. Not your mommy? Not my mommy. No, not my mommy. Her milk is curdled. Okay. In the next question, if you didn't have GPS, how would you get directions? Yelling.

Yelling. Yeah. I get erections, usually by like a gust of wind that's like warm. And if a video, when I'm on my for you page and there's a Courtney edit. So I don't need GPS for my penis. That's a really good point. Thanks guys. That's actually such a good point.

That's actually the best point I ever. I can't believe I've been thinking that Google Maps is supposed to give me an erection. Yeah. Of course not. Yeah. That is so silly. Of course that is silly. Of course it is silly.

Google needs to figure their shit out personally, I think. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. Show me your best handshake. Oh, okay. Isn't this one of those things where you have to be the last one to look away or like the last one to let go? You have to grab their elbow and you can't let go. Oh, why would you want to touch the...

Because that shows power. Someone goes in for a handshake. You grab their elbow so hard, dig your nails into their elbow and you shake it around until you, like, really, fuck up their arm for a second. Damn. You don't let go. You don't like a business meeting? Yeah, just to show that I am the one with

power, I am the wolf in the room. And so if you have a meeting with someone every day, you do that, then I am the wolf in the room? Yeah, you're right. There can only be one wolf in the room. That's what they say. Have you ever heard of the pink Bible? Tell me about the pink Bible.

It was a book that was written for how women can get a man. Whoa. And in this book, they tell the lady to touch his elbow. What? Yeah. Is that real? Have I been accidentally getting a man? I think you might actually... If I've been accidentally getting a man this whole time I've been trying to show my power and handshakes?

I don't know. I've never tried it. I've never had it happen to me before. But like... Do you want to see if it works? What? What? What? Do you want to see if it works? Yeah. I do. I don't know. Show me your elbow, dude. I want to see if you guys. I think this is perfect for you guys. I want to see if it works. I want to see if it works.

Okay. Do you want to touch you on? Who's touching who? I don't know. I don't even know. I just want to see the... Whoa. You're crawling over.

There's so much going... Expert crawling. Wow, that's some award-winning crawling. This is crazy right now. This is an... Both. Not both. How do you feel?

Gregory, how you feel? Feel good. Dude. Okay. Beep, beep. Time to back it up. Whoa, reverse crawl. Whoa.

Dude, I'm gonna not, I'm not gonna, yep, you don't have to say anything. I'm not gonna lie, that was like doing ayahuasca. Holy crap. I feel like an entirely new man and I don't understand what's happening and I'm gonna have to go to therapy for the very first time in my life. I'm gonna have to order that book online. Try dancing too. Yo, we're ladies lying to us about elbows or we're guys lying to each other about elbows? Wait, that is such a good question.

And men never lie, so it was probably the first one. Okay, here's the next question. This is only a man would know this. What is the spoiler of a car? He's dead the whole time and the kid can see ghosts. Oh, yeah, I was going to say the ball and chain. The ball and chain. Oh, it spoils the car, like your ball and chains,

the lawyer makes your car back. I'm sorry, I just thought of the first spoiler that came into my head. Okay, I think it's the part of the car where mommy puts her post-it notes saying, I love you, I'm thinking of you, and you feel like a really spoiled boy. Okay. Okay, here's the question. How do you start a fire? Oh, um, I just started dancing, baby.

Oh, my God. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Oh, my God. This is crazy. This is a third time this has happened now.

Whoa. Okay. Oh, my God. The feet. Oh, feet. Oh my God, look at the feet. Observe them. Feet!

Okay, observe them. That's like that Lady Gaga song, feel the beat under your feet. The floor's on fire. Whoa. I'm pretty sure that if I actually put any energy into it, I could become pretty skelled at setting a fire with my mind within a couple of months. Try it.

Yeah, well, I need a couple of months of training. That's what I just said. Who are you going to train with? Myself and the mentors I select. because where what mentors where do you find okay well i'm selecting them so you don't even have to worry about it i would just want to know where you find that kind of mentor accounts of people who offer online courses r slash pyro very low price r slash pyro r slash pyro wait dominic what's like your most checked reddit thread oh man corny miller nsf w probably and what's on there

just like because she's like a pretty like sfW girl yeah she's a pretty sfW girl yeah she's a pretty dumb girl. She's pretty SFW. I don't know. So, what does NSFW stand for? Not safe for work. Oh, I thought that was like, not super fucking with. Not super fucking with it. Oh, not super fucking with it. Yeah, I don't know.

It's just like, I mean, it kind of went dead as soon as she got married because people started respecting shame whatever. You mean people stopped being disrespectful once they knew there was another man involved? Wait, that has never happened before in the history of forever. That is so disappointing.

What a disappointing thing for Courtney Miller. Behind empathy, I would wonder how she's feeling. Yeah. I love to hear from her someday. But I love that one. And what's a R slash asshole? Am I the asshole or just asshole? Okay. R slash asshole. And what is that? The people just describing theirs or what? I don't know. Everyone says that they love the, when they listen to people say R slash assholes. So I went and looked at it.

Oh, so maybe you were just mishearing something? I don't know. I mean, it sounds interesting. I'm going to look it up. I'm not. Listen, I have the pale girls read at thread bookmarked. Pale girls. See, I can't relate.

I'm all about that spray tan. Yeah. I need someone to look like they have been kept indoors for their whole life against their will. Damn, Sandman aesthetic. What is this? So you're looking for someone who's been Captain Dora's their whole life. Against their will. And it's like, who do we know who lives in a crawl space?

I love spray tans. And I said Sandman aesthetic of when like you're really pale. Yeah. Have you ever seen Sandman? Oh, I've seen every limited series in film in the history of mankind. Yeah, Sandman's a sex icon, dude. He's like a scrawny little angel. I've heard the song

Mr. Simon Hey wait Is that the song your mother sings to you Before you go to sleep every night No, it's the song my mother sings to me As I take my medicines Is your dream to become a Marvel superhero? Oh my goodness

I would never even dream this Because I can't even get out of the attic So anyway Guys, I think before we go Yeah I think that we should really quickly just talk about our hopes and dreams. In a dude way, in a really sick guy way.

Maybe we just get a little vulnerable. In a guy way. So, anyway, what are your plans for the next five years? Oh, man, my five-year plan, don't even really even mess with that, you know? I hope that I can afford my own rent and maybe I would get a girlfriend. And maybe I'll get noticed on TikTok for my dancing. If they ban that, what are you going to do? Maybe there's like, Vine is still around?

Oh, yeah, I think that's all around. I heard Vine is still. Yeah, still kicking. Yeah, something like maybe just dancing. Maybe I'll go to Venice Beach and dance. Because that feels like something people would do. Yeah, that sounds like that's definitely something people would do. Or like, maybe I go work at Vanderpump.

did you at sir at sir maybe I'd go work there and if you hear if the camera guys hear my good laugh oh yeah then maybe they'll notice me and I will become a star

you're literally gonna be on the next season of Vanderpump rules I can tell you right now bro that would be amazing thank you thank you you can have a whole affair and everything oh yeah I mean easily or honestly I'd be the one

that someone would try to have an affair on but Tom Sandivall pretty iconic guy You love him. I love everything about him individually and personally. He's just got that main character energy that every guy should have. Yeah, he's got that like, I will do whatever I want to do, even as it hurts everyone's vibe. I respect when he plays the horn. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll watch the show someday. Yeah. Are you asking me the same question? I would like to ask you the same question. What's my five-year plan? What's your five-year plan? Well, that is such a good question, but I really do think that within the next four to six months, I am going to achieve max financial status.

I am probably going to have some sort of limited series sold to a huge network. Why limited? You sleep in on a mattress on the floor? Well, yeah, father has taken away my bed because I was angry. Am I wrote offensive things about his mistress on my bed? On your bed? Not even online? No, online too.

Oh, wow. I am going to reach my financial peak in the next six months. I think there's going to be a business I come up with. There's going to be a business you come up with. Yeah, and my infinite mind of infinite links and ideas. I will come up with some sort of business or a limited series in the next. Why limited? Why not an unlimited series?

Because it is the superior form of entertainment. Oh. He went to Encino Film School. So he went to Encinfoil for 12 years. And I'm going to reach financial peak in six months. Do I know how? Absolutely not. I like your turnout and point.

There's the thing I've been manspritting so hard that I've almost been playing footsie with Dominic. Dude, you watch out. You get that dogs under control. What about your love life? Yeah, what is going to happen with the Angelical? Well, hopefully she will arrive at my door just as her note did. But I thought you found that. Where did you find that?

I found that. Well, I put it in my pants, but I found it in my pants. But I found it in my door. Branch and I were hanging out, shooting the podcast. And then he was like, I have to go outside. He went outside. And then I got a doorbell. and I went and got the...

And then there was a note there and she had left it in the time that he had gone outside. I think you should not check your ring camera. Um, okay, fine, I'll go. Um, Uki. So yeah, I think my five-year plan is mostly to explore the multiverse, see what facets await. And, um, yeah, maybe like dig into some of my conspiracy theories, see what all my theories are. Obviously, we know the moon is the plate, and I'm kind of looking into what the sun is,

because it might be a spoon. And, um, so, yeah, I'm probably going to look into some of my theories, and then I'll probably take a little bit of a five-month nap. I'm going to hybrid eat. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to hibernate at some point when I am allowed to. Um, that's my plan. Okay. Well, that's beautiful. What comes after the attic? Hopefully the roof. You're going to sleep on the roof then? Dude, if I can sleep on the roof, I would give everything to sleep on the roof. Dude, I bet you can. I know what's stopping you. You have a tent, like sleeping bag and stuff from being a kid? Um, just put on the tent, a sleeping bag.

I have like a sack Yeah, that works. Okay. So we mean. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode with Dominic Patron. I've been Grever Manston

this whole time. I've been British Radley. And thank you for watching Branch and Grever talk shit. Dominic, you want to say anything like where they can find you or like

where they can find your ex if they want to stop her and like send her scary shit. Yeah, dude. Send her scary shit. Thank you guys so much for having me and let me exude my mail energy

at you guys. And thanks for exuding yourselves all over me too. I'm so grateful I got to exude myself all over. Everybody deserves a place. And once I figure out my podcast equipment, I'll have you guys on. And we can also dive in to what it is to be a big strong guy. Wow, that's like beautiful. And you can find me, there's some like videos of me dancing on Smosh. Maybe they'll let me back on there again someday. I don't know. And my girlfriend, I mean, my ex-girlfriend, Courtney's over there, and she's pretty cool. Oh, God, man, how'd you let that one go?

Yeah, you could follow Courtney online and then just imagine what it would have been like if you were Dominic while Dominic was dating Courtney. If you want to do that, I've never done that. I've done that. Anyway, thank you guys so much for spending your hard-earned time with us, and we will see you next time. On Branch and Grubber Talks! Oh, boy, pia, pia, pia.