Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - EMOTIONAL SPA DAY

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

With this episode dropping on a *very* stressful day --(please vote)-- Syd and Olivia have decided to host an emotional spa day with a guided meditation, stress reduction tips, and too much loud whispering. They hope you can come back to this episode any time you need an emotional spa day. @sydandolivia on all socials! :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How's everyone? How's your life? How's today? How's today? It's today good. So here's the thing. Yeah. Today's going to be a little bit different.

Yeah. For the episode, because we realized this is coming out on election day. Whippy. That's going to be a day that I'm sure no one is stressed. Right. Everyone's going to feel totally calm and perfect. Everyone's going to feel pretty good. I think we all know that it's a stress-free, chill day.

Yeah, I think, I don't know about you guys. I'm guessing you feel pretty similarly. Election Day is, you know, it's an anxious day. It's always an anxious day, and I would say this year is particularly. Yeah, I would say this is the most anxious election day leading up to it that I've had. Yeah, it's a pretty, pretty anxious time. So I guess before we get started, if you haven't voted yet. Oh, yeah, that's huge.

If you haven't voted yet and you're listening to this, what the fuck is wrong with you? Turn this the fuck off and go vote. This is a point. Turn this off. Like, turn it off. Turn it off literally, unless you are on your way driving to the polls listening to this. Yeah. Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Yeah. Let's do a voting pause where we pause. We all make sure we absolutely voted. Yeah. If you haven't voted yet, do it now. Welcome back. Welcome back, you guys. We took a door to the Explorer, like, pause to let them vote.

Welcome back. Welcome back, everyone. We wanted to provide some comfort. Some stress relief, perhaps. We don't know. Maybe it won't work. Maybe it will. We're going to try.

We're going to try because that's all we can do for ourselves. Our friends are all going to get together and play some fun games and stuff. we figure maybe we'll do some relaxation techniques with you, we'll play some fun games with you. Yeah, while you're waiting on this kind of thing. Yeah, on this kind of thing. We just figured there's nothing we can do right this second other than vote, which we already did. Yep. So let's just find a way to self-suit.

We love to do it. We're going to provide you with a guided meditation. We're going to have a spa day. An emotional spa day. This is an emotional spa day. spa day. Yeah, for us and you. And hopefully this is also something you can come back on in times in the future when you're feeling anxious and you just need to chill out for a second with us if that helps. Also, a quick little housekeeping thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're watching this on

YouTube. Yeah, if you're a YouTube watcher and listener, you might realize we are in a different space. Yes, yes, yes. We were in a studio last time. It turns out. podcast studios, podcast editors. It's very expensive. So we are still figuring out exactly how to produce this as a weekly video podcast. But the thing is, we're also succeeding at that. Yeah. So we can't.

So like, you know, right now we're on the floor of Olivia's apartment. Yeah, this is my new apartment. We've got the wall up. You can see the neon sign not really that well behind us. But there it is. And thank you for sticking with us while we figure this out. Obviously, you know, producing something on your own. has its challenges and we don't have a ton of money to do it.

So we're just working with what we have and hopefully you're chill with it. And also, I will say if you're a YouTube only or mostly YouTube person and you were like, wait, why did you guys put up episodes three and four and then release an audio only version of episodes one and two? It's because as we explained in episode one, we thought we were going to do this whole season audio. And then after two episodes, we felt guilty. So the first two episodes don't have video components.

but if you want to listen to them, you still can. Yeah, we're trying their best and we're trying to figure it out along the way. Yeah, we're getting what we get and we don't throw a fit. There you go. And I've always said that. So, okay, so now it's time to get back into our spa day mode. Emotional spa day. You ready?

Yeah. Do you like that? Yeah, it's beautiful. Is that relaxing for you? Yeah, so relaxing. Hi everyone. Hi. Okay, so the issue that we're going to have here is that there's a fine line between unsettling and relaxing.

Yeah, and I would say I've never relaxed. So I only know the unsettling part of the line. It is a hard, relaxing is hard, but we're going to make it easier. We're going to make it easier today. So, guys, for our first action. First activity of our emotional spa day is a guided meditation. This is a great thing to listen to if you ever need to just de-stress. De-stress.

And just come along with us on a journey. Come along. Let's begin. Close your eyes. Find a... It could be a couch. Yeah. It could be your bag.

It could be my face. It could be Sid's face. You can sit on my face if that will make you more comfortable. Take a deep breath on Sid's face. Do it. Now take a deep breath and imagine you're in a bubble bath. And we're not in the room. And we're not there.

And we're not watching you. It's just your own private bubble bath time. And it's not a bath that we're even in the room for. Forget about us. We don't even know we're there. We're not here. We are there. We're not here in your bath. Just forget about us. Solo bath. You can just forget about us. We're not in the bath either.

Close your eyes. Unless you're driving. And if you're driving, maybe just close one eye. Just get rid of all depth perception for legal reasons. Do not close even one eye. Just we're driving. Just one? Just kiss. Do you smell lavender? Whoa, gaslight yourself into thinking you can smell whatever it is unless it's a bad smell. Like a meat sauce. Don't smell a meat sauce in your back. Meat sauce can be good.

Really well. I think we're crushing this. Okay. Ooh, yeah, gaslight yourself. Now notice your body relaxing. Gaslight your body into relaxing. Unclench your jaw. Yeah.

Drop your shoulders. Roll your neck. Looseen your teeth. Oh, yeah. Losing your teeth. Take your teeth out. Burry them outside. Kick dirt on the.

A dog buries something in the yard. Yeah, mark your toes. What are you ready? Speak. You're a dog now. Life is fucking sick. As a dog, you can't comprehend anything that's happening in the world right now. You don't understand the political situation going on in America right now.

You're just a dog. You're just getting treats and chilling out. You are just eating. You sniff butts for a living. Little Annie is lost. Oh, shit. Can you find you find it? Can you find her?

Well, what's that? Boy, she's in the well. Oh, good boy. Good boy. You're so special. You're a hero. You're going to get a sandwich. Wow, you're going to get a sandwich named after you at Togo's.

Who's that coming? Oh, is that the mayor? What's he doing? Is he giving you a key to the city? Oh, shit. He's giving you a key to the city. That's so crazy. Giving a dog to the city?

That's not. That's the first time that's ever happened in the history of ever. Oh, it looks like the Guinness Book of World Records guy is on his way over here. And he wants your podograph. Oh, shh. The podograph. He wants your podograph. This is so relaxing.

You're going to, buddy, guess what? Anna Wintour just heard your story. Anna Wintour. Just heard your story. Wow. The 2025 MetGala is themed after. She's like the dog police are here. Oh, the dog police are here.

They're playing dog police by dog police. And they said dogs aren't allowed to have all this fame. Oh, no. No, not dogs who have so many offshore accounts and six past identities. Why do you have so many offshore accounts? Now close your eyes and think about your offshore accounts. You've been found out. You've been found out.

You gotta get out of here. You gotta scram. You kiss your beautiful human. And you get a train. Leave your little pups behind. Hopefully they'll remember their father as a hero. You take the Bart. You take Bart.

You take Bart. Is it Bart or the Bart? Yeah, it's Bart. It's Bart. Or is it the Bart? I don't know. You take Bart because you're in San Francisco this whole time. You've been in San Francisco this whole time. Oh, shit.

We didn't say that. And you jump on the train. An empty life. front of you. Another new start. Another new name. Take a shit on the train. Oh. You're a dog after all. Is there a dog on this train? Is it shitting? Someone screams? Your disguise falls to the ground. Yes. Your false mustache and your suspenders fall to the ground. You are wearing a disguise this whole time. You are wearing a disguise. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and think about the disguise you are wearing. It's not good enough. No? No.

You've been found out. The bark guards come after you playing dog police by dog police, and they say, we kicked air bud out of the Bay Area rapid transit line and we can kick you out too. You hide behind a curtain. You hide in a stroller next to a passenger with a child. You're very stressed out. It's very stressful. You're so stressful.

This is the most stressful part of the meditation so far. No stressful part of the meditation. Wow. But then the doors open on the train and you jump off the train. You run free. Wow. You run and run and run. And suddenly you're in a field you're in.

Wow. You run free. You run around. You run up a tree. You run up a tree like you're doing parkour. And you find a nest. Wow. The nest belongs to a friendly eagle.

Ooh. Friendly eagle. She welcomes you in as one of her own. You grow wings from your back. You're an eagle now. You learn to fly. You're a brand new identity as an eagle. To start again.

A brand new life. You're safe now. You're safe now because all eagles are always safe. That's what we know. You hunt for mice. You soar above planes. And unclench your jaw. Okay, now open your eyes.

Okay. Was that? Was that the most relaxing? Relaxing meditation. I'd also like to point out that I am sick. So if you heard a bunch of like gargling phlegm like in my fucking throat, that's why. And that's really relaxing when you think about it. Yeah.

I think I've learned something about myself during this, which is if I'm going to whisper for like an extended period of time, I will get lightheaded. Did you? Here and there. Not super bad, but if you want to hear what it's like for me to get just a little bit lightheaded, just re-listened what we just did right now. Okay, now that thing is happening where you mentioned it, so now I feel like I'm getting lightheaded. You should get lightheaded right now.

Sorry, I have to redo my hair. My hair keeps getting fucked up. Let's talk about some. So you guys are probably so relaxed. Yeah, you're probably so relaxed. So you're welcome. So you're welcome. What are like, do you have memories of stress?

of stress. Do you have memories of like times that you were like, oh, this was a really good self-care move or seeing someone else do a self-care move and being like, I love that. Maybe that would be inspirational or helpful. Well, I have a really good, this isn't even funny. It's just a really good move for if you're having like an anxiety attack or a panic attack and you don't have any meds. Yeah. My friend told me this years ago.

Tell me. One of the things you can do if you want an immediate fix is you can feel. up a bowl with ice water. You can hold your breath and you can put your head in the ice water for 30 seconds or as long as you can hold your breath. If you're a pussy, you can only hold your breath for 30 seconds. Okay. Some judgment there. No. Yeah. And then it just tells your body that you're going through hypothermia and you're shocking your system and it thinks you're drowning so it doesn't have the energy to do the panic attack as well. It's like a cold plunge. It is like It's like a cold plunge for your face.

And yeah, it's great. I used it once. I should use it more. Totally. The one time I did it, it was awesome. I like looking up the gifts or GIF, however you prefer, online that's like specifically for panic attacks where it's like you breathe with it. Wait, really?

Yeah. Oh, see, now I'm learning something. That's beautiful. So it's like an animation of like essentially a line that, goes like up and down and you just breathe with it and you're so focused on that. Wow. That really helps me. Yeah, I do four, seven, eight breaths sometimes, which is like breathe in for four,

hold for seven, exhale for eight or like box breaths or whatever. Somatic exercises are cool. I just like got into that because my algorithm was like, we're going to decide. It's time to sell you a bunch of somatic exercises. And I was like, okay, well, I don't really want to buy anything, but I'll take a look at these. I wish my algorithm did that. Yeah.

My algorithm sucks. My algorithm's pretty great. I mean, my algorithm is, so it depends how it's like how you define great or sucks. Mine is great in that it's cursed. Yeah, mine is also cursed, but I have to cough. Wait a second, everyone. This is my self-care is I have to cough right now. That's beautiful.

That was so pretty. Oh, I'm sick. Sorry. I have like this really, I have this distinct memory that I think about any time I want to relax. or take care of myself, which is when I was a kid in Hebrew school, I, maybe I've told this story before, I don't know, I've, I would get picked up in a carpool with my friend Elise. What if that was the memory that you remembered to calm down? And that's it.

I just think about that. I just think about, wow, I used to get picked up in a carpool along with my friend Elise. And I was like, hell yeah, I'm good. I'm fine now. And I remember she was like sick. And she didn't feel good. And we got in the car and her mom was like, well, when we get home, why don't we just like,

instead of doing homework, why don't we just put on finding Nemo and eat mac and cheese and just like chill out? That's so good. And I remember hearing that and being like, oh, that's the best night ever. Yeah. Like that sounds like the most comforting, wonderful night. Yeah. And so now when I'm not feeling good, I think about that.

And I'm like, maybe it's time to just like, watch finding Nemo and eat some mac and cheese. And then years later, this was probably in like 2021. I was having like a bad day and I wasn't necessarily taking care of myself in the way I should have. And my friend Rod,

one of my best friends, was staying with me at the time from New York. And he came back to my apartment and he brought me a little figurine of Nemo from finding Nemo. Oh my God. As like a thing of like, hey, time to take care of yourself.

To remind you to eat mac and cheese. That's like you. It was really cute and I have it in my bathroom to this day. It was like the sweetest little, I don't know, just like the sweetest little thing. That's really, really great. Yeah. Yeah, I like crying. Gorge.

I think sometimes I'm the type of person who goes like, oh, I feel like I want to cry, but I'm not going to cry. And then it's like, I feel worse. So it's like little to cry. Right. What's the best way to cry? Like, do you have to watch something? Do you have to read something?

Like what, or do you have to just, like, get yourself in the zone? I... Because a good cry really does help. Yeah, I feel like music gets me to cry a lot. Yeah. I feel like I listen to, like, a sad song or a song that reminds me of something, and I can start crying in, like, two seconds. Do you have a good cry song?

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Well, okay, I don't know about... Okay, earlier this year, I was crying a lot to that Mitzki song that's like, My love is my love. Oh, yeah, that's a great song. That was a good crying song. But that was kind of basic, but I just remember I was coming to that a lot.

I was crying to... Popular songs are popular for a reason. They're good. One of my huge crying songs right now is California by Chapel Roan. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's so good because it's just like, the whole song is like, I would like to give up, please. It's like sometimes you're like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so, and she's, she's cool. Yeah, she's the best. She was just on SNL, she was great. Absolutely. Yeah, I also, I think, like a really good relaxation technique for me at least. And everyone makes fun of me for it. And it's okay. Is ASMR.

I really love ASMR. Oh, you love ASMR. I really do. Every person I've ever dated, I will comment on the fact that, like, I'll fall asleep watching ASMR on my TV. And they're always, like, really unsettled by it. And I'm like, oh, and I'm, like, out in two seconds. And then we're left with, like, a woman on the screen who's, like, going,

there are bugs in the microphone. There are bucks on the microphone. I'm going to eat the bucks on the microphone. And I'm like out. And the person I'm dating will always be like, oh my God. And like want to go home. Why are there bugs on the microphone? I want to go, mom, can you pick me up?

I will say like the best reason to date someone maybe is to like have. Find out what they've all sleep too. If I know what they've all sleep too. No, is to like, is to do the little weird things that you wouldn't do with other people, like being like, hey, can you give me little backticles? Yeah. Yeah. Like that kind of stuff is just stuff you don't do with other people really.

Yeah. And I will be honest. Like I will do that stuff with like strangers at gunpoint. Right. Well at gunpoint, of course. Yeah. Without gunpoint. Yeah, no.

On a bus. Sure. It's only going to be someone that I'm in a relationship with unless it's at gunpoint. Yeah. If I'm on like a bus and anyone, either of us can be holding the gun. Of course. If I'm on a bus and there's an exposed back in front of me,

you bet I'm going to give you little backtickles. At gun point. I'm holding the gun to my head. I'm holding the gun to my hip. We were doing this bit with our friend where we kept threatening to shoot off our own bangs. Oh, yeah.

To cut our bangs with a gun. We were like, we, we, we, we, would certainly is like, I'm, like, I'm going to do it. And it's like, with scissors, like, threatening to cut your own bands. I'm going to do it. It's like, give yourself bangs.

I'm going to do it. I swear I'm going to do it. And then we like escalated it to having a gun and being, like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to shoot off bangs. You're like shooting like the hair in front of your forehead. So stupid. I'm going to do it. Yeah, but you love ASMR. I do. Remember we

used to make fun of it in high school? And then I realized I just unironically like it. Yeah, you love it. I, uh, I, my favorite thing we used to do is pretend to be like, which actually kind of works now. We could do it really well right now. But we would pretend to do ASMR as the two girls with bronchitis in your, in your biology class. Yeah. And, and it works because like I have like a crazy cold right. now and I'm sure you're going to get it. Yeah, hopefully I get it during this. So we can easily do that. Yeah, yeah. But instead.

Instead of listening to the wet, wet coughs, which we could do. We could. We could do it as our first one. I'm just chugging some cold brew before I do this. We wanted to do some ASMR for you just in case that's your little platonic kink as well. In case you were listening to this episode and you thought, well, the first part of the episode didn't have enough whispering, um, you know. And I'm not relaxed at all. And I'm not relaxed at all because the only thing that makes me relax is when two girls whisper

into the mic. And one of them gets lightheaded. And the other one has so much phlegm. So we're going to do some ASMR for you. Um, yeah, cue the music, babe. Cut the music. Wow. Wow.

Wow. That was beautiful. No, that's what I call music. That's what I call music. No, that's what I call music. No, that's what I call. music. Okay, so first, obviously, if you've never watched ASMR before, you won't know this, but if you have, you'll know that ASMars usually have like a scenario. Like, I watch a lot of

ASMR videos of like an optometrist. That's so niche. Yeah, I was trying to give like a, non-judgmental work because I was going to be like, that's so fucking weird. But I'm like, I do things that are way weirder. Okay. Well, thanks for letting me know what you actually think about it afterward. I appreciate it. That's so neat. That's so niche. I was going to say fucking weird. I was going to say fucking so weird, but actually really niche and unique. And that's what makes you special.

And that's what makes you you. But you, I mean, so fucking weird. But, like, haven't you ever been to the optometrist and they've been, like, really close to your face being like, read the letters? And you're like, ooh, I could fall asleep right now? No. Okay, great. So the other one I watch a lot of will be, like, dentist. Yeah.

Because they'll be like, just open your mouth and we'll just take this right back here. I saw an ASMR once that was like guy getting ready to commit a disaster ASMR. I fully thought you were going to say guy getting railed and I was like, that's porn. I watched this ASMR. I watched this ASMR. It was like guy getting railed by train of guys. I was like, so that's just porn. And it was like, gna whispering.

They were like yelling. And then I caught a bunch of computer viruses and a bunch of e-a-furted. and a bunch of emails. And it's so crazy because I didn't get that thing that you talk about, like the chills, but I did get a huge direction. Huge direction in my peanuts. But I didn't get like full body chills. And there wasn't any like whispering, but there was screaming and the guy getting rail

gave me like a bonner. It's so funny because we are always like, wow, we don't make any money off of this podcast. And I would say it is because we can't monetize it because we do things like this. We are the ones causing it for ourselves. Yeah. We are, I, it's no surprise to us. We are our own worst enemy.

Of course. See, it doesn't rhyme when you do it plural. It's the lyric of a song. Queen. Queen. Queen vibes. Okay. So, we are going to do some ASMR scenarios for your listening pleasure.

Yeah. You want to pitch one? Yeah, let's do, um, your parents telling you you're getting a divorce. Sorry. You're getting, no, we're keeping it. Okay. I messed up, but I guess we're keeping it. Okay.

Your parents telling you, you're getting a divorce. And... Here we go. Pretty relatable. Wow, that was like so relatable. And I think the thing about that, that's so beautiful, is that's really going to get someone through a really hard time. Yeah, like today.

Like today. Or like, you know, if someone is going through a divorce with maybe their snake wife. Yeah, and their parents are the ones who chose to. Make it happen. They'll be able to listen to that and really think like, oh, I'm not alone. No, of course not. And now I have full body tingles. Oh, God.

Don't you love a full body tingle? Let me tell you. Okay. All right. You have another idea or I didn't? Either way. Okay. I'll do one.

I'll do one. How about do ASMR of a guy getting railed? Okay. By what? Other guys? By a train of guys. The same I just said. Okay, great.

That's so random. What the fuck? Out of all names? What the fuck? That's so weird. We had to stop it before we got two turned on by ourselves. That was really good. That's crazy that Ricardo was just the second guy.

I know. And that's it. Who knew? That's the train. Yep. Okay. So let's do this one. Let's do, you know, I've seen a lot of like doctors.

Yeah. You've seen a lot of doctors in your life. I've seen a lot of doctors in my life. You know, because I'm a medical anomaly. I've seen a lot of doctors. doctors have called me ill in more ways than one. And we never really get an asimar of an OBGYN. Oh my God.

A gynecologist's ASMR. Wow. And I think that's a missed opportunity. Why is that? You know, I can think of so many reasons. I can think of several, but let's do it anyway. Okay, okay. Do you want to be the patient or the doctor?

Or how about we do this? How about we do it, P-O-V? You're the patient. And we're the two doctors. It's a doctor and the person who's, you know how there's a new role? Oh, so one of us is a male OB, and the other one is watching. The woman nurse that has to be in the room, legally be in the room. In order to.

And if you're feeling uncomfortable with your OB, then you fucking tell them, bring somebody else in the fucking room. Yeah, and or get a new OB, I say, like a person who doesn't understand how hard it is to get a doctor. Dude, it's so hard. It's so hard. Okay, let's go. Okay. The episode is awful. I think that was a beautiful one.

was pretty much, that's like every time I go to the OB. Oh my God. It's, it was so accurate that I almost, almost wanted to just spread them. Yeah, I know. I know. I had this like crazy desire to spread them. Um, do you, do you, do you, have you ever, uh, do you ever look up, like how to calm the fuck down?

I did actually. I looked up how to calm the fuck down. It is crazy. Like, I feel an element of lightheadedness after I whisper for a really long time. Really? I don't. I don't. You want some water?

No. I'm not really flay. Okay. My hope is that I faint this show. No, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, and T told me I should get a speech therapist. What? Why? Because I talk like a dick.

Like, I'm always like, blah, blah, blah. And like, I think they want me to be like, la-da-da-da, so that my voice stops being all painful. Is the idea, sorry, my towels, like totally wrong. Yeah, I got you. I had that really. Is the idea that you are making yourself lightheaded through the way you speak? I, I feel like I am through the way I'm expelling. oxygen slowly maybe.

Interesting. But also, yeah, you know how like you can sing right and sing wrong? Yeah. It's the same for speaking, turns out, like, like diaphragm. Yeah, it's like, oh, are you projecting your voice? So if my voice becomes fucking crazy different. Right. No, okay.

Well, good to know. But I'm not going to, I haven't found the speech therapist yet. Sure. He was just like, if you're always in pain in your throat, maybe you're talking bad. Well, maybe if you. Which as I said that, I said that talking bad. Maybe you should try on some new voices. Yeah.

That could be a good idea. Yeah. Is that a good one? That will make your voice. That'll make me lightheaded right away. That's new voices to make me lightheaded with. That's perfect. I actually asked Google how to relax.

I like looked up like, hey, what are ways to relax? And the third option was play with a child. Oh, I hate that. I immediately hate that. It said play with a child. With a child. No. I know.

First off, first off, I disagree. Yeah. I disagree too. That's not relaxing. It's not relaxing. It's fun. Yeah. So fun. And if the child rips, it's like a fucking ball. If the child sucks, it's only stressful. Yeah. Kind of cute. If the child rips, it's great. Yeah, absolutely. But it's not a stress reliever ever. No, it's not. You have the reminder that you're in charge of this person's life. Also, like, what are the games you play with kids? You play like dinosaurs, things like that. That's not relaxing. I play a game with my cousin who is eight, who I love so much. But she's had a lot of, she's had a lot of brain surgery.

Right. She's a freaking icon. But she always wants to play doctor. Of course, yeah. She's always a brain surgeon. And she gives just the most shockingly specific diagnosis. She's so specific with it. She's like, oh, yeah, you've got blood pooling in your brain.

to get a shunt in and drain your brain fluid. How old is she? She's eight. Oh, my God. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I always go to her like, well, like, at least I have a great doctor, so I'll be okay, you know, but it's like so, so I mean, is it relaxing? On one hand, I get to lay down.

Right. You get to get taken care of. You get to get the shunt in your brain. The blood is draining from my brain. I love that. On the other hand, um, no. It's not relaxing because I'm like, oh, I hope this kid's having a good time the whole time. Right.

Anything's relaxing when your people pleaser. Well, it's also just like with kids in general, like you're so focused on like, don't cry, don't be sad. Please have a good time. Please have a good time. Please. Yeah. It's not relaxing. No, and I'm wondering if they're, they're, if people are looking that up and following that.

I hope not because some people don't have kids. Some people don't have kids. Which means you have to go find one. You have to go find one. And that is stressful. Kidnapping. That's kidnapping. That's kidnapping.

That's kidnapping. And that's kidnapping, which is stressful. Have you ever tried to kidnap? It's so stressful. It's so stressful. I try to kidnap Sydney every day. And it's so stressful. Wait, we have an update.

Oh, guys, this is a great piece of news. So, we have such a huge update for you. Yeah, as you know, we are a matchmaking service. Our matchmaking service, we have a Rolodex. And if you, for some fucked reason, this is your first time realizing that we have a Rolodex of matchmaking candidates. Send us a little bio about yourself and what you're looking for. We have been fielding these, getting them, kind of looking through them.

We want to make sure that we're not matching people up randomly. Yeah, we want to make sure that if we're matching you up, it's with someone you are going to genuinely enjoy talking to. And if it doesn't work out as a couple, maybe you'll just be friends. That's another thing. Before we announce some matches, which is the news, the news is we've got some matches to announce. Very exciting, very exciting.

We'd like to preface this by saying we are, going to be just giving people each other's information. So just please be respectful with that. Please be nice to the person we match you with. And if it's not a romantic connection, maybe it's a friend connection. And that's okay. And also, if you are wanting to be match made

and you send us information you don't want us to talk about on air, just let us know you don't want us to know about that. We're not going to say anything crazy anyway. We're just going to say fun facts. really fun facts. So, okay, matchmaking update. Cue the music. That was a beautiful, beautiful song.

And that's the song. Okay, I'm taking my towel off because it will not stay on. I know, right. I might do the same thing. So we have... Our first match. Our first match from the Sidna, Olivia,

matchmaking service. We're really excited about. This one is exciting because we've met one of these people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have. And they're freaking awesome. This person is named Alex. They came to our live shows.

Yes. Two different live shows. And hung out with us afterwards. Alex is super creative, does a bunch of music stuff. Yep. Is making like musicals and like is just really cool musicals. Really cool person all around. Rumpel's Stillskin musical.

And we have found Alex a match. Alex requested specifically a woman with a hat. Right. Now, see, this is niche. Yeah. Because hats come on and off. They do. You can't just keep a hat on. Yeah. So, so we had to find a woman who was open to a hat, right, open to wearing a hat, but also more specifically would just vibe in general with this person that we know. So we found Haven. Haven, aka at Haven Fable underscore. Beautiful. Yeah. Lovely. Haven seems like an absolute gem. Haven is a gem. Haven loves board games. Also is an ASL interpreting student, which is like the coolest thing ever. That is like the coolest thing you can be. And something we really thought that would work with these two is both of them have really

busy social lives and schedules and are like really love to like pack their time doing cool stuff and like hanging out with friends. And they both have like a really silly kind of vibe. Yeah. They're both very like up front. anything. Haven dislikes when you have to put on a jacket over a long sleeve shirt, it bunches up, which I dislike too. Very fair. Alex loves hats on a woman. These are, these things go together. These are cute little things? Uh, I asked Haven, are you open to wearing hats? Yeah. Haven said, absolutely.

Oh my God. Haven's just a gym. Haven was like, heyman. Of course I'll wear hats. This is amazing. So you two have met your match. Uh, so you guys can chat. You guys can be friends. Even if you're like, oh my gosh, we're just a trauma bond over the election friends. Maybe that's what you are. And I love that for you. I love whatever you are because you guys are great. Wow. So your handles so that you can communicate at alex.m.

dot, M. music. And Haven is at Haven Fable, F-A-U-B-L-E underscore. Wow. What a beautiful shout-out. So that's our first match. Pretty exciting. But wait.

But wait. There's more. We have one more match. one more match. This is very exciting. Yeah, well, I'm very excited. Okay. We have two people who also seem like truly just absolute catches. Just two big catches. So as they say, two big catches. So we were approached by two people. One is named Anders. Classic Anders, aka AJ underscore wage underscore. That's WAAGE. That's W.A.A.G. And Sh. Shemp's. Very cool names. Yeah, you guys are going to have some sick names. AKA Shemp's 101.

Yeah. Anders is really cool. He's studying film at UWM. He loves to talk about movies. And also, he likes to play soccer, I believe. And he's terrible at texting like me, so I automatically like it. Amazing. So he likes being outdoors. He likes talking about movies. Cooking. And guess what? What's like a crazy hobby for a person to have? He's a pilot. He's a pilot as a hobby? What are you talking about? He can fly planes. Yeah. This is a crazy thing.

Yeah. We found him someone who is just as wonderful. Just as beautiful. This person. It's our absolute Aries. Our Aries. Our Aries Shemps. This is Shamps.

Crazy, lovely name. Yeah. Shamps works at a children's hospital. Yeah, I mean, how can you do? How can you get better? How can you be better? You can't. A person who wants.

works at a children's hospital and a person who can fly a plane. That's so sick. Those are just like two of the coolest people in society. It's very cool. And Shemp's is also very outdoorsy. Outgoing, extroverted. Hike, do really fun stuff. Busy social life, busy schedule.

Yep. These two, I think, match each other's energy. Yeah. And I think that they're going to have like a really fun date. Maybe they can like fly in a plane that Anders drives to, to a field where they have a picnic. A picnic and help some children. And help some children.

And you know what they say? The number three way to relieve stress is to play with a child. There you go. So you guys can be stress-free together because Shemp has access to kids. Ah, beautiful. You guys, these two are like adorable

and I do think that they're going to be a great match. I'm feeling a match for both our couples. And listen, if it's not, at least be friends. Yeah, at least you just made an awesome new friend. At least you just made an awesome new friend. Like, shut up. Yeah, shut, shut up.

What is wrong with it? So anyway, keep sending those matchmaking profiles in and we will keep trying to find you a match. Because this is our lifelong dream. Yeah, this is our lifelong dream and we actually love this. I mean, I feel really relaxed. I feel so relaxed. And in fact, the rest of the day, I think I'm just going to lay face down on the floor and relax. Yeah.

My plan is to like let out a big cry. And then we'll see what happens, you know? And whatever happens is going to happen. That's such a good point. And that is true. And hey, hang in there. And on a serious note, you know, it's a weird year. It's a weird time.

We are going to do everything we can to make this time happy. uncomfortable and hopefully you had a nice time listening to this. And hang in there and hug people that you love and stuff. And no matter what happens, we'll be back next week. We're going to be back. We'll give you a hug and we'll say hi. How are you? And I'll talk about it.

So everything's going to be happened. Everything's going to happen. Everything's going to happen. Yeah, everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to happen. Something's going to happen. Something's going to happen. And in fact, everything is.

Yeah. And we love you. Yeah. We'll see you next week. We think you guys are the fucking best. We love you. I'm hiding in your shower until next time. And I'll be in your vents.

Bye. Bye.