Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - GETTING IN A REAL FIGHT! 🤼

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

If this week's episode was a Nickelodeon Double Dare segment, it would be a Physical Challenge. We're back with a solo pod and the girls have notes, Olivia drops bloody Crow Baron lore, and we find out what has been happening in the Villa! Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Chapters 00:30 | Intro 01:35 | Syd Wants A Physical Altercation 06:10 | Olivia's Weekend at the Emmys 08:09 | Syd Went To A Real Housewives Live Show 14:15 | We Have Notes On People 30:30 | The Crow Baron of Roccascalegna 38:54 | Fantasy Love Island Bracket Bonus content on Syd & Olivia's Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I, like, want to wrestle someone so badly. I want to fight someone so badly. I try to get every person I date to fight me. I try to get all my friends to fight me. Nobody will agree to it because I'm frail. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're so big.

I wrestled in high school. Oh, my God. What? Podcast for you. This is Sid and Olivia Talk. I'm the Sid one. I'm the Olivia one. I just yawned, and now I look like I'm crying.

Oh, let's lean into it. Do a dramatic monologue right now. I remember when my children were taken away for me. It was the year 1914. You look so good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, thanks guys. You had children

in 1914. They did, yeah. Today we have no guest. Oh my God. The guest came in this morning and we shot them with a harpoon. Yeah. And who was it, Olivia? It was Marjorie Taylor Green.

Music. Cut the music. Sorry, Marjorie. We only got her hands. She's literally so fine. So today we kind of have the opportunity to just chat. Yeah, to just catch up. Just chat because we never see each other.

We never see each other. We never met. Oh, yeah. You have a segment on this show where you are like, what's wrong with me? Yeah. And I already know what's wrong with me. Right. And it's that I want to have a physical altercation with someone desperately.

And so I've been trying. What? Yeah, I've been trying. Are you talking about your wrestling? Yes. So Sid has a thing where she needs to wrestle. I like want to wrestle someone so badly. I want to fight someone so badly.

I try to get every person I date to fight me. I try to get all my friends to fight me. Nobody will agree to it because I'm frail. I feel like I as a person who is like doing like fight training stuff for fun. Right. Would not want to fight you because I don't really want. Because I'm frail. Because I'm frail.

I'm frail and nobody wants to fight me. Today I found somebody who wants to fight me. This is a segment called Somebody's gonna fight me. Cue's music. Cut the music. It's this guy. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. What? Not watching and you're just... If you're not watching and you're just listening, a big tall lumberjack just came in and put Sid up in the air and they're now fighting and she's threatening to pee.

Wait. You're doing no arms. Wait! Ah! He's still down! Yeah, okay, so wrestling tip, if you just say down, down, down, sometimes if it's your friend, they'll go down. Oh my God!

Two, three. Did I win? No. If this goes on for the full episode, I'm not going to complain at all. Like I... A guy who is famous for going on comment sections and saying, I'm a good guy. Wow. No, I don't beat up girls.

I beat up women. Thank you, Corey. Nice to meet you for the very first time. Ah, well, that was Corey Peter Lane, everybody. Give it up for Corey Peter Lane. I got to tell you that was... Is he just leaving now? Yeah.

Okay, bye, Corey. Love you. Okay, that was great. Well, thank you for that. I felt like I got a Christmas present. Yeah. Now I kind of feel like I have to try to get Kasim to wrestle me. Let me tell you, that was hard.

I was going to ask you, before, before you showed your actually really great skills. Do you think so? I think you really held your own. I mostly tried to pinch, but I couldn't get it. I think what I just saw makes me not afraid to fight you anymore. Okay. So we can fight, we can wrestle at your place.

Because I'm a little bit more like, let me at him, let me at him. You've got that scrappy do. Oh, I've totally got scrappy do inside of me. And I've got that scrappy do energy as well, but in the way that like I talk so much and make it about myself and then they throw me out of the van because I peed in the van. Right. And then I come back. Right. has Mr. Bean and trap my...

I'm literally always breaking out of Mr. Bean's body. But that was great. I was going to ask you if you meant... If when you said fighting, you meant more like strike fighting or like grapple fighting. I don't know. I think you mean grapple fighting. Okay, great. I think you mean like wrestling and grappling and holding onto someone like...

Instead of like striking them with your limbs. I just have a lot of energy inside of me. I love that. And sometimes it just needs to come out. I think that was like one of my favorite segments... Okay. Ever. Maybe we'll

But if we do that again And you don't know I mean I will tell you like I wanted to ask every guest if they'd fight me Yeah But I just feel like for some reason I shouldn't I mean I don't know if I'm going to like argue with you

Yeah But you could ask I don't think any of them would have Shane might have Angela No Shane would have 100% not fought me You think Angela would have though I think Angela would have said yes

And then when we got, she'd be like, wait, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no one would have fought me. So I'm glad that we finally got an adult man to beat up a tiny frail woman. Wow. Wow. Cancel Corey Peter Lane. Thanks, Corey.

That was really nice of you. How are you? What's your life like? You look refreshed. You look like a brand new woman. Okay, because I feel worse. I will tell you, fighting is not all it's cracked up to be. because you lose mostly.

Right, right, right, right. And by you, I mean me. By you, I mean me. So what's up with your life? What would you do this weekend? This weekend, I truly walked in circles the whole weekend. What do you mean? I did a, sometimes I'll come on for the children and families Emmys.

Oh, yeah. The girl that hands trophies to the people that win. Yeah, you wear a big ball gown. I wear a big ball gown. I wear a big ball gown. And I truly walk 4,500 million steps. Like, all I'm doing is walking in. circles for for five hours and so I I walked in circles for five hours it was very fun everyone there is awesome uh fun fact I know I'm getting I know this is like a violent episode right now like we're

like what's violent violent about it nothing but like you could kill someone with one of those with what an Emmy they are like spectacular weapon and I'm shocked that it hasn't been used at least in a movie I've seen or in a TV show I've seen where someone's like killed someone with an me because there's two stabbing points. What are they? They're like the big, so it's like there's a globe and then the wings that come off the lady. The lady's holding a thingy, the globe, and then there's wings coming off her because she's angel or something.

And they will, like 100% stab material, like really stabby. And then it's just heavy enough you could totally kill someone with it. Okay, I literally love that. So maybe if in our lives we ever aim to like our goal is to get that, we just have to know, I can kill someone. Well, I mean, I think the only reason to get any statue of any... To kill someone. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. You're in your wrestling? Yeah. Last night I went to a concert with my friend Joey. Oh. Who did you see and how was it? So here's the thing. Yeah.

I'm not going to say who we saw. Because you're going to talk shit about it. So my friend Joey and I love the real housewives. Oh, heard. And one of the real housewives came out with a poster being like, I'm going on the road. I'm going to be in concert. This person does not sing, dance, or do comedy. The best type of concert.

I don't know what this is. Yeah. I don't know what this is going to be, but I am buying tickets. and then my birthday present to my friend Joey was going to see this show. So we went to the show last night and it started off with this woman being like, no phones because I don't want to get canceled. Oh no. Which is usually a bad start. Yeah, well, then what you're saying is I'm going to say something atrocious.

And I don't want to be held responsible for it. I invited you to my show. You all bought tickets. I'm going to commit hate. and I don't want to be held accountable. She came out drunk as hell. I was like, fuck, yeah, okay? I immediately was like, oh, no, am I an enabler for buying tickets to this?

For alcoholism or for the hate speech? So many things. Which is something I'll grapple with in my personal time. Yeah, just go grapple with it. Sometimes we need to grapple and that's okay. But basically she brought a guy on stage who was asking her questions, but she wasn't answering any of them. She was mostly ranting about anti-vax shit.

And we were like, oh, oh. And she'd be like, the babies are getting stabbed 120 to 180 times with the needles. And we were like, what the fuck is happening? Oh, my God. But the best thing is the audience. Oh, no, I hope no one ever tells her what surgery is. Oh, no. And she's had it.

I know she's had it. She's had certain ones. Oh, no. And there was a woman sitting next to us who became kind of like public enemy number one in the crowd because she was having a conversation with this woman on stage, the rest of us were spectators. And she was being like, no. Like she, no, not even.

Like, the woman on stage would say something. And she'd be like, what? What did you say? From the audience, which is a crazy choice. Wait, what the fuck? Yeah. She'd be like, what? She was like.

She was like a woman in her 50s with her boyfriend. And her boyfriend was so embarrassed because, like, say anything as this woman on stage. I'm a big anti-vaxxer. Vaccines. And my whole thing as this imaginary woman is that the babies are getting- Don't have vocal fry. Don't have vocal fry. This is actually what was happening.

She was like- It was the crazy thing. And her boyfriend was like, and he came over to me and he goes, can I sit closer to you? Oh my God. He goes, sorry, can I get sit closer to you? Like, this is, I don't know her. And she literally went, you're literally sitting on her lap. So you're trying to sit on this girl's lap And it was me and I was being like

No, I don't know I'm not here at all I'm not here at all So after this like most of the show of her just like yelling things That didn't matter like at some point This woman says like you know and I have an iPhone And she just goes Apple Oh my God What? Wait, can we do that?

Yeah of course We go to shows and do that It was insane And then at some point this woman on stage goes Do we have any teachers in the audience And everyone's like yay And she goes, do we have any nurses in the crowd? And this woman goes, yeah, oh, no, surgeon.

Surgeon. And I was like, she's a surgeon? Oh, no. This woman who's being truly an abomination is a surgeon? That is like a stereotype. Is it? Alcoholic surgeon. Is it?

Yeah. There's a lot of, there's like, I don't know. I think it's because it's such a high stress job. But like there's like, there's like, I don't know. Yeah, they're, yeah. I hated it because also you don't want to do surgery while you're drunk. I love being drunk. Yeah.

Don't do surgery. No, don't do surgery. Don't fly a plane drunk. No, I know. Yes, and that's the other one. Don't do those things. And don't do those things. And don't drive.

And don't drive. And don't drive. And don't drive drunk. Okay, this podcast is sponsored by not driving a plane or a car under the influence. On the influence. Music. Or operating surgery. Goodbye.

Cut the music. We left early because we were like, this is, I can. can't do this anymore. Was it, was it, so it was like largely anti-vax? Was there anything else like really bad? Oh, there were so many things that were bad. That were like not, that are not repeatable. I mean, she said something about one of the housewives who was just diagnosed with cancer. Okay, that's bad. And she was like, we don't, that didn't even get her more Google searches. And I was like, you're ill. Yeah, no, that's, it's time for the hospital. And then the surgeon who was drunk out of her mind goes like, nobody cares about Teddy Mellencamp. Nobody cares about. Nobody cares about.

her cancer. And I was like, you are ill. You're all ill? I was like, you're all ill. I don't want to be in Ventura right now. Oh my God. It was in Ventura. Oh, my God. That adds such a layer. And she kept pronouncing it Ventura. Was it at the same place we saw Tom Sandoval? No, different place. Dang. We saw, well, Ventura is the best place for reality. For reality people to go off. To go off, do their live stuff. And at the end, I was like, oh, I'm actually going to have like a reckoning here where I'm like, can I watch these shows anymore? I don't know. Yeah, no, that's fair. I don't know. I'm, I'm, dang.

And the episode that's going to come after this because we filmed it out of order is I'm going to literally talk about reality. But me now, I'm like looking at reality TV being like, I don't know. I might take a break. Okay, so if you guys want to experience like a time warp, watch our episodes in order. Yeah. Because it is going to change her mind. I'm just having a reckoning now.

Wow. Okay. Yeah. But it's just because people are weird. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Speaking of what. Speaking of which, we have a little segment that we do sometimes.

It's your favorite segment in mine and mine. It's called We Have Notes. Play the Music. Cut the music. We have notes. We've been doing some notes on months recently, but you know what? We're going to switch it up. Yeah.

We're switching it up, ladies and gentlemen and everyone else. Chill out. Chill out, everyone. We're going to do notes on something that is very broad. Yeah. It's actually so broad. We could probably come back and do it again with a guest. We would have all new thoughts.

These are our notes on something that bothers you and bothers me. We have notes on people. Now, before we do our notes on people, we're going to say things about people, okay? Oh, my God. And just spoiler alert, calm down. Calm down. It's all in good fun. It's all in good fun.

Yeah. So you think something bad about people. Think like your worst thought you have about people And then comment it below Comment it below And then we're gonna cancel you We're gonna cancel you We're gonna be like that's fucked up

All right And none of ours are that bad Yeah none of so so calm down Okay so first note on people Yep Less Yeah maybe just a little bit less Not like less of the ones

We're not I'm not saying like less of the people That are currently existing I'm not doing anything I'm just saying like let's have one in three People who are gonna reproduce Reproduce reproduce. In the next iteration of people, make less people. Less.

And then maybe we can all get it together. And then if we want more, we can add more. Yes. But just like, it's like, keep a menu on the table. You can always order more things. Oh my God, 100%. Don't order them all at once. No, no, no, no. No. And yeah, because there's already, there's already so few resources.

Mm-hmm. When you think about it. When you think about it, when you think about it, it's like that kind of thing. Here's a note on people, and this is something we've both discussed. Yeah. it's not it's it's it's a oh it's cowardly it's cowardly to be an adult blonde man right this is a cowardly thing to do right if you are blonde what are what are you doing being an adult man yeah you have to be a child or a hot woman absolutely or a hot non-binary person 100% but you can't be a guy no no you can't be a you can't be a straight adult man you can yes you can be this does not

count for people like bleach their hair yeah if you bleak your hair, you're in another category. Which is like hot and mentally ill. Hot, cool, fun. You're having a breakdown. I've been in that category, so I'm not even saying parentheses derogatory. Who hasn't? No, you got to be hot and dye your blonde at some point and be ill.

I had my bleak blonde hair phase and boy did it not match my skin tone. And you know what? That's what it's meant for. But you can't be a naturally blonde adult man because that's not an adult thing to do. That's for babies and hot women. And hot. Yeah. Similarly, similarly.

It's the only thing more. The only thing more cowardly is being an adult twin. You can't be an adult twin. No. Twinhood is reserved for childhood. You can only be, yeah, you can only be a child twin. And I think we just got to maybe be more open to the concept of like eating your twin after the womb or eating your twin before adulthood. Yeah, I agree.

Just so like if you guys want to do the childhood thing together, great. But like when you become an adult, just one of you has to eat the other. And that's just a part of puberty. Yeah. Have you seen the show that's, um, that's, that's, um, that's, the extreme sisters and extreme twins and all the twins marrying the other friends and then having babies. Like we can't go on a date with our, I can't go on a date with my husband because my twin and

my husband's twin has to come. It's so good. And then they like are like, oh, if I get. If I get a tooth removed, my twin has to get a tooth removed. Oh my God. The two. Oh, okay. So actually those twins, the Australian ones.

I rescind that note to keep those people there, but for everyone else it applies. Yeah. So the Australian, can you look up? Extreme Sisters, Australian twins. They're awesome. They're my favorite people in the entire world. And I have a cameo from them for my birthday in the past. Huge.

Boy, oh, boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't we tell them to say something about a rash? Yeah, you told people told them that all of my teeth were getting taken out. Right. I'm having a surgery to get all my teeth replaced and I have a full body rash. I had a while where my friends and people in my life would have reality stars give me cameos and tell them to tell me. me that my giant full body rash is going to be okay. And I would never have one. But like,

it like, they'd be like really emphasize the rash. So these, these twins are amazing. Yeah, they're awesome. And these are, these are twins who they dress exactly the same. They have, they share one boyfriend. Um, and if one of them is like, uh, vacuuming, the other one has to be miming vacuuming so that they're doing all the same motions at the same time. Because they can't like lose calories that the other one's not losing. Yeah. So one of them has to get her tooth pulled and the other one is like, well, then I have to also get it pulled. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's coming to a point that you're more likely inclined to get the teeth extracted.

And what's going to happen with me? Your teeth were just fine. Last time I had a look at it. So you don't have really any any issues whatsoever. You got a very healthy teeth. That's why I'm getting so upset. Because I can't do anything without her. Do you think this is how people see us? Yeah, I actually do think this is... I can't do this without her, and I know she won't do this without me. So we need to figure out what tooth can you remove from me.

What is the next plan? We go through everything together. We would die for each other. We would do anything for each other. We're not allowed to extract healthy teeth. You guys have to make a compromise on this. Could you have a look at her mouth? Sure.

I mean, I'm sorry. See, if there is a tooth, you could. could extract. I've never had patients like Anna Luzzi. I've treated him for many years. I've gotten used to it, so it's not a surprise anymore. That's the way they've always been, and I think we should respect their emotional connection for each other.

Love Dr. Enolide. But Lucy's mouth is fine, dude. Okay. Yeah, can you show me my wisdom tease on the screen, the scans on that? Sure. I need to take some. scans for my wisdom taste. I requested them, but I had to go on a room without Anna.

Who's going to go first for the extra? Lucy. Hello. We're doing Lucy first. Hello. She can't come in here, right? No, this room we have to close the door. So she can't come in the room with me?

She'll be just watching you from through the glasses. Oh, okay. Nobody can stay inside the room just for radiation. She can't just stand there. She'll be just outside the door, just outside the door watching you from the glasses. So I can't come in there. I love them so much. Yeah, okay, so the internet is full of amazing stuff of them.

Would highly recommend, I do truly think that is how we come across the people. I do too. And I love them so much. I can't go in the room. She can't go in the room. She used to come in the room with me. Actually, it would be amazing to get them on the podcast one day. Oh, I would do anything.

And I would do anything to ask them how we can be more like them. Oh, 100%. Oh, that's the other thing that one of them does. As in fact, one of them jumps in and talks like the Adela-Law. Like at the same time. Yeah, it's like that. I think we're on our way. I think we are so close already.

So no adult twins except for them. So that's that note. Sid, do you have another note? Oh, yeah, I got some notes, baby. I got some freaking notes, baby. Oh, I got some freaking nose baby. Oh, God damn. Okay, yeah, I'm so sorry about this one.

No self-respecting person has initials for a name. Oh. You can't claim letters. This is not allowed. You cannot claim letters. You cannot be AJ. You cannot be RJ. You cannot be R.C.

You cannot be L.C. These are not, you can't do. You cannot be J.D. Salinger. In fact, be an adult. You can't be J.D. Salinger. You cannot be J. Novak. No, you cannot allow to, unless you want us to pick what those initials means. So that's the rule.

The caveat is if your name is R.J. R.C., our... If your name is B.J. Novak, then you have to be cool of the fact that we're going to call you. Blow job. Novak. That is going to be our name for you. If you have initials for a name, we get to pick what those initials mean. Not we, the like, we. Not the collective we. Specifically the two of us. Sydney Heller, Olivia De Laurentis. We do. And that's the rule. Yeah. If your name is, if your name is RC, right, your remote control. And if your name is like RJ, remote junctrol. And that's just how it is. I didn't make the rules. No, I didn't make the rules. We didn't make these. I just enforce them. We just enforce them. These are from God. I don't know what to tell you.

These rules are from the hat I read out of. There's magic plates in the hat. I'm reading out of the hat and only I can read them. And this is just the rule. Yeah. Any more notes? Do we? Oh, wait, actually, I mean, here's the thing.

Yeah. Another note about names too. Yeah. No numbers in names. That's not allowed. And you know what? Normally, I would be like let people do whatever they want. But for some reason with this specific note.

Yeah. I'm going to say. I do agree with you. Why is that? Why is that? Why is that? Why is that? If you're putting numbers in your kids' name, you are asking for that child to be bullied into oblivion. Yeah. Like, this is a terrible move. What are we doing? And you know how I know that? Because that child is already being bullied. It's just like the internet's like, the fuck is this thing. Yes. And if you're that child, come here. We'll save you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like literally we will save you. Yeah. And you just pulled a really amazing Lindsay Lohan right there. Did I? Yeah. Remember when Lindsay Lohan followed the child.

child that wasn't hers and said, come with me, come with me. Yes, with a fake accent. Yeah. And she was like, please come with him. Yes. And it's like, what are you doing, Lindsay? No, it was truly like, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. Like, I don't know what it was. It was before Lindsay had her new face and she was-Lohan debut's new accent and confuses her fans. That's a headline. That's correct. Yeah, throwback to this. Tell me your story so I can help you. Do you want to stay in a hotel tonight? Do you want to watch movies? Yeah. It'd be so cool, right?

And the whole family gets to come, right? Or a computer? Or a computer? Yeah. Let's go. You should not have them on the floor. Right. Should be a hardworking woman.

Oh, no! I'm freaky right now. And you should be doing what you do for your children so they have a better life. And if someone's offering them a home and a bed, which is me at this moment, give it to them. Look what's happening. They're trafficking children. I won't leave until I take you. I won't leave until I take you.

Okay, so, wait, I won't leave until I take you is my senior quote. Okay, so. Also, like the, I won't leave until I take you, Lindsay Lohan to that one child. The thing, the, the idea of like, truly speaking, I'm pretty sure not a real language. Can we all confirm that's not real? I can't confirm. anything. I'm pretty sure she's pretending to speak a language. Whatever is happening, I, here's what I'll say. It does not sound like she's doing it right.

When she says, do you want a TV and a bed and sleep in a hotel room? What's crazy to me is she is only talking to the child. Yes. Like the fact that she's not talking to the whole family. If she was going like, hey, you guys. It's me, Lindsay Lohan from Freaky Friday. I have a, I have a hotel room. You guys want to crash there and I'll like get another for myself. I'm literally from parent trap. Yeah, I'm from parent. trap. I'm both the girls from parent trap. You can trust me. I am both of the girls from parent trap. I'm the spunky one and the British one. I'm both. You know, if she said that. I'm not only the one who lives in Napa. I am also the British one. I am not only the one who is close to the dad. I am also the one who's

close to the mom. And I single-handedly get both the parents back together. If you said that and then said, I'll get a hotel room for myself, you guys take the one I have. Yeah. That's lovely. But what she's saying is I'm going to take just the kids to go watch TV. Also, the way she pitches is like, do you want to watch a movie on a TV or a computer? Yeah, like, why would you say actually? Don't say or a computer. Just like, do you want to watch a movie? I mean, I'm not supporting this and Lindsay should not have done this.

No. But saying, do you want to watch a movie on a TV or a computer? This was a second ago. I think she hasn't done this in a while. No, she's fine now. She's literally in Freakier Friday now. She's way freakyer now. She's way Friday now.

Lindsay, hope you're doing well. So that's a note for people. If you're going to try to go up to people on the street and get them to come into your hotel room and watch a movie on a TV and computer, invite the whole family. Invite the family. Don't just invite the underage children who don't know what you're saying. Correct. Also, another note for people is, you know how people, like, awful people will say things like, that's a man's job. Yes. Construction is a man's job. Yeah. Something is a man's job. I think being a mayor is a dog's job. Right. Right. And every mayor should be a dog. Because if you're looking at the cities with dog mayors, let's say, Idaho.

There's no war. No war in Idol Wild. And that's huge. And so many countries have threatened war specifically against Idaho Wild. The small, small town in California that is literally just the home of a nice artistic boarding school. I am going to jump in and talk about this, though. No, we should go over the Mayor Max controversy. Because even though there's no war and that's good, that doesn't mean there's no controversy. But here's the thing is life is about gray area. Life is about holding multiple truths at the same time. And we'll explain what that means at the very end.

Because sometimes people and animals need to be held accountable. So Mayor Max, we're coming for you. Mayor Max is a what, lab, a golden retriever. A golden retriever who is the mayor of Idaho Wild, which is a very cute town. I love Idaho. There are two main controversies with Mayor Macrienne. Max. The Golden Retriever Mayor. One of the controversies is that it is not a voted position. It is a bloodline position, which makes it much more like a monarchy than a democracy.

More importantly, Mayor Max, according to Idaho, I'll hearsay. Yeah, this is from Insights. This is just from hearsay. Attends all the parades. Except for one. Except for one. And you know what parade that is? Don't let it be pride. It's pride. Oh, man, that's a bummer. Mayor Max, the Golden Retriever, might be homophobic. And you know what? I think we're allowed to hold two truths at once. And the two truths are...

He's a very cute dog. He's a dog, right? And he's just like a golden retriever. He's literally a dog. And whoever owns him is probably homophobic. And that's not good. Or he's actively homophobic and he's a golden retriever and those two things can exist. Those two truths can be co-held.

Like, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe what? Like just maybe like dogs can be bad just like the rest of us. Yeah, that that is interesting. I think sometimes like it's that thing. It's pretty privilege. You see a dog and you go like, you're so pretty. Nothing's wrong with you. Well, the thing is maybe they're homophobic. Maybe a cute, maybe that cute dog video you're sharing. Yeah. Maybe that dog's a goddamn homophobic. You don't know. You don't know. Maybe that dog is a god damn homophobic. I'll tell you my dog is not a homophob. No. Mousy is not a homophob. That dog is an ally. That dog is a supporter. That dog is fluid. This is such a cute dog, though. That dog has sexual preferences that I would call fluid. Yeah. That dog pumps the couch. I love her.

Yeah. She is, she should be the mayor of Idaho. Oh, my God. Well, you should, you should make some calls. I'm going to make some calls. Can I talk to you about something I've wanted to talk to you about for a really long time? Okay. I want to talk to you about the crow baron.

What? Okay. So I've been, I found like all of my family's history. Yes. from Italy. Yeah, you have mob blood. Yeah. And there's this guy who was the villain of the town I'm from called the crow baron.

Okay. And his whole thing is he was a rapist who loved crows. He like, he would like, he was, yeah, that's it. He was a rapist who loved crows. And his whole thing was he would make people bow to his crow. Like he had a crow. Wait, wait, wait, he would make people bow to his crow. Yeah, he was a baron.

So his name was Corvo de Corvus. Oh, when you said the crow baron for some reason, I was thinking of like being baron. Oh, no, no, he's like a baron. Like he's a baron. Got it. Like he's like a baron of a castle. He's a crow baron. And he makes people bow to his crow.

And then his whole thing is like, if you get married, I fuck you on your wedding night, not your husband. And is that, is that myth or is it real? I don't know. I wasn't there in the 17th century. I was born in 1996. So I don't fucking know, Sidney. Okay, brag. But what I will say.

is. Oh yeah. And if someone refused to kneel before the bird, they were arrested and sometimes even killed. So crazy. That does remind me of you. Right. Right? And so one of my ancestors wrote a play about, I guess, another myth that happened where the crowbaron goes to have, you know, his premonautis or whatever, which is like. So the crowbaron is not related to you. The crowbaron. Hopefully not. The crowbaron was the, the evil overlord of the castle. Got it. Who made everyone bow to crow or die. And loved to have sex with people who didn't want to have sex with him. For sure. On their wedding night. That's arguably one of the worst times for you. I know, right? The story goes that, yeah, I guess like he went to the castle and he was like, hey, queen, it's time for me to have

sex with you without you wanting it. And then the bride was like, actually, it's time for me to truly stab you to death. And then he left a bloody handprint on the wall and it's still visible to this day, quote unquote. Is it actually? I don't know. I have to go and find out. Wait, wait. What wall? The wall of this castle. Oh, we got to go. Yeah, I know, right? This is where I'm from. It's a Brutzo.

Rocalegnia or something like that. I mean, I did that wrong, but watch me get better at Italian. I know that you're from the Abruzzo region because every time we go to a rest, an Italian I ask if they have a wine from the Ebruta region. Because it's. And you get like a Kianti, like a table, a red table wine, which is delicious. A Montaucliano, yeah. Watch me get so much better at being Italian over the next year.

I think you're great at it. I'm going to learn how to learn how to. say words right. No, I don't. Bloody handprint on the tower wall is a key part of the legend. So, so. This is crazy. First of all, okay, really quickly, though, I don't, and I'm not Italian, so I can't say it. But I think, I think that you, you're great at being Italian. You're nice. Because you have an energy of, I have a, an Italian energy. I've got a, I've got an abrasive energy and I like to eat. And I don't think, well, that's just Judaism too. So I don't see. And that's why we, and that's why we, and that's why it goes. Well, that's like everyone, I think this might be a thing.

My bubby used to say, like, if you don't marry, like, a Jewish person, marry an Italian person. Yeah, yeah. Because it's like the same culture. There's a very similar culture. With some differences. With some differences, but very similar. A lot of overlap. Very much like, I guess we'll just eat now.

Yeah. So I do think, I do think that there needs to be going back to our last episode. I think there needs to be an American girl doll who killed, who stabbed the crowbaron to death to save her virginity. Wait. It's, okay. This is huge. Yeah. Right?

That is, first of all. It's the very first Italian girl. doll? Yes! Wow! I love that! Yeah. That's kind of an amazing thing. Yeah. I also think you could play her in the movie. I would love to. Yeah. I'm like, there's a part of me that like since learning that I'm like, I kind of want to get the original text and like obsess over it. Yeah. I think it's time. American girl dolls. Yeah. I'll Photoshop a good one. I could see that. I'll Photoshop an image and we'll show it here of the Italian girl doll who stabbed the crow bear into death to save her virginity. She comes with like a dagger. She comes with a dagger and a crow. and a bloody handprint that you can put up on that. Yes. And a crow that, you know, the crow doesn't give a fuck. No.

Like if the crow baron dies, I'm sure the crow is just like, I'm truly a crow. I'm a crow. It's very Mayer Max coded. Yes. Like, it's very fucked up to bring animals into politics. They didn't consent. They don't know what they're, they don't, the crow didn't know. No.

Well, you never know. Crows are very smart and they remember faces. You know that they, a crow can hold a grudge for a crow or a raven. I forget which, but they hold a grudge for up to 19 years. Yes, you have told me that before. And they take revenge. And they take revenge. Oh, my God.

Okay, so one of us is a crow and one of us is a raven. Oh, my God. The idea of being like, are you crow or a raven? Do you hold a grudge for 19 years or do you take revenge? You know that crows will like, they'll like remember your faces for generations. Like if you're nice to a crow, the crow will teach its kids that you're a vibe. Okay. So just.

That's literally sick. That's epic. Do with that what you will. So I guess the PSA here is like go to a crow community and just like. Riz them up. Riz them up. Riz up crows. Riz up crows.

Walk around. Have your face shown. Just like do some nice things. Yeah. Do some mitzvahs first from crows. And maybe you can train them to follow you around. And then maybe you can make people bow to them or die. Okay.

And then maybe you can get stabbed to death because you flew too close to the sun with your power and your bloody handprint will always be on the wall of the castle. Always. Can you believe we. started this episode with you wrestling. I forgot. Yeah. I just remember. I was like, yours, you, you don't look at all like you. Thank you. Ressled. I did. I forgot about it. Yeah. Um, yeah, I think like, I guess, you know, my big thing is just like I do, I don't know. I, like, have some obsession with wrestling or fighting or something. It's just fun. I'm not really a

conflict person. No, but in real life. There's a difference between like getting out that like physical energy. It's Spilkis. Yeah. It's spilchus. There's like pent up energy inside of you and you have spilkis and you're like, and you've got to drain it. And you've got to drain it somehow. And the best way to drain it is to get into a physical altercation with a friend who is twice your size. Also, the fact that I just, okay, also the other thing you need to know is originally, we thought this was going to be the episode released on April Fool's. And then that would change. So I was trying to think of pranks. And the only thing I could think of is I could get somebody to fight me,

which is not a prank. No, no, but I do love that it still happened. Yeah, I was, okay, I'd already asked. The only prank I could think of was to trick you into something, like, thinking something terrible happened to me that would happen to me. Like, and I was like, that's not even funny. Like, so then I couldn't, I was. Is this really telling that, like, our pranks are pranks that we thought of?

I'm like, how do we, how would I surprise you? I would have to, like, come in and be like, I got pulled over and they found my weed pen or something. Like, I'd have to be. Weed pens are legal. Probably not when you're driving. I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, fair. But I think it is funny. You have to get a blood test. I'm like, I'm trying to orchestrate a whole situation that's believable, but I don't know the law that well. It is silly that we're like, okay, we're going to come up with a prank and the only things that we could think of separately. This is how you know, like, our two heads work better together.

We are those twins in the thing. Because separately, the only things we could come up with is, I'll say something awful about myself or I'll just get hurt. Which is so stupid. The other thing, I was like, I guess I could like cough up blood at a certain. I thought that too. I thought, I thought, where are my blood capsules there with Olivia? Oh my, I don't even know where I, okay, so we thought, oh, we have blood capsules, but they're

with you. Okay, because, okay, well, the good news is that means one of these episodes that doesn't come out on April Fool's Day because this episode and no episode for at least a year is going to come out on April Fool's Day with a prank at some point, we're both just going to bring blood capsules and we're going to freak out Kasem. I love that. I love that. Yeah.

Oh my god, that was literally my favorite song. Sorry. I-u-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. Yeah, that was beautiful. That's the interlude on Sizbop. Okay, we're going to do a quick Love Island. Oh, my God, yes. Okay, guys, we have a really, okay, first off, Love Island Update, cue the music.

Cut the music. Again, I'm following. Oh, wow. Never, never take them back, always bring them forward. That one just, you know, threw some spice on it. Just put more spice every time because, yeah. Oh, God. So, guys, it's time for a long-awaited update for our Love Island Fantasy Bracket.

Because if you're new. If you're new here really quickly. First off, we're sitting in Olivia. We've known each other for 14 years. You know each other for half of our lives. We did this thing called the Love Island Fantasy Bracket where we've put a bunch of fictional characters and people alike in the Love Island Villa. who don't belong there. And now we're doing a fantasy bracket,

kind of like a fantasy football or a Dungeons and Dragons kind of thing. You can check in on episodes and see what's happening. Yeah, we're pretty far into the season. Right now, who do we have in the villa? Right now in the villa, we have as a couple, Tombgis, the AMPM mascot, and the Rainbow Fish from the Book, the Rainbow Fish.

Also, my friend Corey, who fought me earlier, has told me he thinks his doppelganger is Tombgis. And I would not disagree. I think if anyone had to look like Tombgis for something, I would pick Corey. That's true. I would staple, well, I wouldn't staple anything to our friend Corey. But I would tape. I would staple his chest.

I would staple. I would take his shirt off and I'd staple his chest. Okay, so sorry, I have to clarify, I would not staple Corey. Sorry, Corey, I will not staple you unless you ask you ask me to. The other people in the villa, we have chat GPT, which is kind of. coupled up with a lot of water. Just a lot of water. Which is really dangerous because obviously chat GPT uses a lot of water.

We have a burning pile of furniture that was outside of Olivia's apartment. Yep, which is coupled up with kinky. Tinky winky. Um, who's so... And then we also have RFK Jr.'s brainworm who was coupled up with the Duolingo owl post-BBL. Who, after dumping Scrappy Doe from the island, who is his long-term partner. But then the Duolingo owl and its BBL got hit by a cyber. truck in real life and perished. This is real. This is

canonical accurate in the Duolingo universe. And I will say the duolingo universe is trying to take it back and say it was a bit or whatever. It wasn't a bit. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. I think it's a doppelganger. I think we've got an Avril Levine situation. Was that the thing? Yes, where people were like, oh, she, replaced. Yes. It's a Melania Trump. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So here's the thing. Duolingo owl is dead. Gone. Dead and gone. So now. And also in the villa, single now is RFK Jr.'s brainworm, obviously, because his couple, the person his couple just died, and a CPK, who's new to the villa. Right.

CPK is new to the villa, and he's very chill. Yeah. And he, like, leaves a trail of barbecue sauce behind him. Yeah. So our question now is, like, what's happening in the villa? Everyone's obviously shocked. Everyone is shocked and horrified. Not only was it devastating when Scrappy Dew left.

The burning pile of furniture is taking it very hard, but also the duolingo owl being hit by a cyber truck was off. Like that was truly really bad. It's BDSM German ghost came out of its body and danced. If you don't know what I mean by that, I didn't make it up. Go to the official duolingo German account. Official German dualingo account. It's and now I think all of the couples are kind of spreading out across the villa and chatting about what just went down. Yeah, it's like nighttime in the villa. Everyone's just kind of like going to their own little big chairs and stuff. So yeah, so what's going down? I think the burning pile of furniture and Tinky Winky are having a conversation. And I think burning pile of furniture. And I think burning pile of furniture. And I think. is like, wow, that was really strange vibes. That made me really uncomfortable vibes. I've never witnessed death before. And now I've witnessed death. Yeah, and then kinky-winky-dinky goes, uh-oh. And the subtitles say,

I witness death constantly. I witness death all the time. I watch snuff porn. I watch snuff porn with me now and then play snuff porn on its tummy TV. And then the cameras have to cut away from that conversation because we're not allowed on ITV. Yeah. We're not allowed to see snuff porn.

Yeah, yeah. You got to get another VPN for that. This is still on IPV. So then we cut to chat GPT talking to a lot of water. ChatGBTGBT says, I am so glad we are still in a couple. Would you mind cooling me down while I answer 500 prompts? A lot of water says, yeah, babes, I'm so wet. Oh, my God.

That is so sexy. Okay, so they're having like a, it seems to be like a mutually beneficial sexual relationship, but I don't know deep down if it is. I don't know. It kind of, it does feel like there's a weird power dynamic there. 100%. I also do think, like, it's kind of strange that all these couples are kind of being horny after someone just died. Or at least one member of the, yeah, at least, yeah. Like, it's just, I don't know. I, it doesn't fit right with me. I'm never horny after I, after I watch someone die in the island.

Never, never. Never. Like, I have to cut it off. Cut it off. So next we see Tombgis and the Rainbow Fish chatting. The Rainbow Fish goes like, Right, because rainbow fish is dying. He doesn't have any water. And Tumgis goes like, I just want you to know. Like, I'm really excited to give this another go. Like, I'm really excited to like really get with you. And, like, kind of just make this go deeper.

I think we can go the long run. And the rainbow fish goes like, I don't care. I just want water. Which is really hard to hear. I just want water. Water is coupled up with chat GPT. That's like real. That's like at least be more subtle about it.

Yeah. It's like, I mean, I guess. Yes, at least the rainbow fish is being open about... Right, totally, being communicative. Yeah, but it is, it is... It's hard thing to swallow. Yeah. So then, I think a burning pile of furniture gets a text.

Bing! I got a text. Islanders. Next time in the villa will be Casa Amor. They all go... And then CPK goes, oh! Because we haven't shown him yet. Yeah, he just goes like...

Oh, do you? Oh, yeah. cuts to him and he's like, oh yeah, yeah, he's American. Yeah, he just goes like, hell yeah, dude. Kasa Amor. Kasa Amor. Hell yeah, dude, I like love and I like pizza. And then you cut to RFK Jr's brainworm. And RFK Jr.'s brainworm is like, oh, Casa Amour, that's why I'm going to get me

worm wet. Yeah, that's where I'm going to get me with. Oh, yeah. Betray everyone on evil, but. That's what he does. So, so guys, if you don't know what Casa Amor is, if you're not a love island superfan and if this is the only love island you watch, which first off, Thank you.

The cost, no one. Love Island Cossop Moore is when our islanders take are taken. They get split up. Yeah. The couples are split up. And one member of the couple is sent to one house and the other is sent to another. And in each house are like six new sexy singles that they basically have to test their loyalty. They have to say like, oh, am I going to, you know, I'm Tombgiss.

Am I going to stay loyal to the rainbow fish? Or am I going to come back to the villa? with one of these new people from Casa Amor. And that is the, that is the question ever. It's a temptation test. It's crazy. Literally a temptation test. This is real.

It's crazy. So this is what we need from view of the audience. This is a call to action from you guys. And especially from the Patreon members. Yeah, especially. If you're on the Patreon, please, please go hard. If you're not, also please go hard. We need as many bombshells as possible starting now because we're going to put together

at Casa Amore based on just your guys's suggestions. and we will reveal it. Next Love Island update. But we need you to let us know who you want to see in the villa. Who you want to see as a bombshell. Who you want to see as a Casa Amor Batty. Yeah. This is very exciting. Yeah. Producers from the Patreon, we need your work. We need to get to work. It's deadline time. It's deadline time. Yeah. But this was fun. Yeah, this was lovely. This was a lovely update. Yeah, we never get to talk. I know we never get to talk. We never see each other. Because we always have someone in between.

I also was wondering if you'd come to the dentist with me later because I was going to get my tooth pulled out and I want to know if you wanted to get your tooth pulled out I have to get my tooth pulled out I can't get the accent anymore Oh yeah If you get your teeth pulled out And I have to get my teeth pulled out Sorry

Yeah I think we should both get our teeth pulled out I love them so much I'm such guys if you are if you ever watch this I'm not making fun of you I'm obsessed No if you if you the viewer at home has access to Anna and Lucy to these twins? Can you tell them that we're obsessed with them and we need them on the pod right now?

We just DM them. I love them. We have to learn how to become them. I think that's the evolution we're looking for. Yeah, we'll do an episode where we become them. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dude, that's so good. That would be fun.

Okay. Guys, thank you so much for watching. Check out our Patreon. Check out all the stuff. Come hang out next week. Thank you so much for watching. And we will see you next. Tuesday.

Bye.