Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Goblin Girls Night! Feat. John Goblikon (Dave Rispoli)

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Hey Kings, Queens, and Gobleens! The internet's biggest Goblin Comedy Podcast Host John Goblikon is on the big bad show for you this week! Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 John Goblikon (Dave Rispoli) https://www.youtube.com/@UCIlCG-eRqxjgtbbp9AzeNeg https://www.instagram.com/therealjohngoblikon https://www.instagram.com/itsdaverispoli Chapters This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Girlie, when is the last time you got some? Oh, you know, it's probably been like, I don't know, like 30. 30 what? 30, k? 30,000 years. 30,000 years. Yeah. Probably, I mean, just like, are we doing like, you know, real time or like?

Goblin time. What's the difference between goblin time and real time? You know, we're just notoriously thousands of years late. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you guys, like, just got dial up. Welcome to the Big Bad podcast for you. I'm the Sid one.

I'm the Olivia one and this is Sid and Olivia Talks, the big podcast at you. Obviously, you can see we are in pajamas today. We're in pajamas because it's a girls night we're feeling. We're going to have a girls night. And, um, you know, like there's really nothing better than having a girls night. With all your gal pals. With all your gal pals. 100%.

Um, what is, what are some of your favorite girls night memories? Oh my gosh. Um, I loved getting, getting drunk and tee peeing a person's house with a bunch of girl gang girls back in 20 something. Yeah. Hopefully. It wasn't in 19 something and I was four. I have a really good memory of super fun girls night where we were at a bar having a girls night and then I decided I was horny and I left.

Yeah, you did leave. And then I made that person drive me back to the girls night afterward. And meanwhile, someone we were at the girls night with was like jokingly being like trying hit on me and I kept threatening to vomit clams on his chest. Yes, I remember that. That was a good girl's night. I love a girl's night. I love a girl's night. I truly am never done with a girl's night. But you know what we need for this girl's night? What? Is another girlie. That's such a good point. So we can't just have one by ourselves. Let's take a look around. Okay, well, let's look around. Any girlies in studio? Oh my gosh. I can't find a show. Oh my gosh. I can't find a dog. Oh my gosh. We have

the best guest today. Now, if you're not watching this, what a disservice to you. Yeah, and also, like, you probably got really freaked out when we screamed all of a sudden. Yeah. Today, we have the only goblin in podcasting, and therefore the best one, it's John Goblicon! Oh, my God. Gals, thank you so much for having me. Of course. Thank you so much for coming to our girls night. Yeah, I, I like to Amazon 90. You look really sexy. And this is what came. You look sexy and you look honestly like a trad goblin a little bit.

But I know that's not what you're going for. You look like the grandmother from Little Red Riding Hood if she were goblin. Yes, that's what I wanted. Okay, good. No, I don't know if this is gobb face or something, but we really wanted to join you and have a goblin girls night. Yeah. So we got our own goblin masks. Oh, what?

Oh. This is a segment called we're going to put on the smelliest goblin masks of all time. Music. Oh, no. Oh, no. Cut the music. Oh, no. I'm just seeing what you look like.

Oh, this is what I normally look like. So this is like totally fine for me. No, I truly, like, when I look in the mirror, this is already what I see. So I'm good. This is so crazy because before I got here, you're not going to believe this. No, tell me. I was like, how do you? do I kind of fit in.

Right. So I actually had human skin delivered and I got mass made of both of them. Oh my God. And I'm going to put on. Amazing. Was it real skin? I ate it. Oh, my God.

That's so classic you. Oh, my God. I got here. I was in traffic and I was like, let me just take a little nibble. You know where your skin first hits your lips. Yeah. You just can't stop. You can't stop.

And honestly, I didn't know if you'd have snacks here, what the city is. was going to be, I was like, let me just gobble, gobble. Let me just gobble, gobble that go. Yeah. Well, also, like, none of the snacks here are our skin. Oh, really? So that's a big, that's like a big thing. I think we have to figure out.

It's a huge turnoff. It's a huge turn off. And I'm constantly turned off when I'm here. I'm dry. I'm completely dry. Now, John, have you ever had a girl's, a goblin girls night before? I mean, in here, you know. Right.

In here. Right, right. It's like, I've thought about it for many years. This is like my dream. Yeah. And I love the two of you. Oh, we love you. We love you.

We're doing that one sketch where you're talking really fast. Yeah. I'm like my favorite. Yeah. That's like our thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We're such fans of you. We love your hairline. You're just so gorgeous. Your ears, your fingers. Oh, this rotates. That rotates. You can get all sides. All sides.

Yeah. Definitely show the audience what you're working with. Yeah. As the Jedsier say, it's giving forefather. Oh, it's giving forefather. Yes. Yeah, you need a kite or something, queen. Didn't he use a kite or something?

Yeah. Sorry, guys. That's just meaning. Like a true historian. Didn't he use a kite? Yeah, I believe so. Of Gorge, well, you know that a girl's night is not complete without some girl libations. Yeah, we've got to get our girl libations.

We've got swamp wine. Yeah. This is... Neon toxic swamp wines. Oh, I love a... What is this? This is to show the camera better, the swamp wine. Okay.

Do you not watch, like, beauty guru videos? I mean, I guess I didn't realize that that's what they were doing. Yeah. How do you get this gorgeous foundation without watching a beauty guru video? Yeah. I mean, that's, I watch a lot of the, um, Get Ready With Me video. Oh, right. That's kind of like my thing.

Yeah, that's your thing. Yeah, but this is... Yeah, that's good. That's really good. You can see all the cameras. I'll just rotate my chair. Yeah, that's good. Just like this.

So this is. Going back this way. Perfect. Going back this way. That's amazing. Going back that way. Yep, that's good. All right.

Okay, Queens. So what we have here is a gorgeous 2004, um, garbage, musty, dusty, bacterial swamp wine from our own swamp, the L.A. River. And, uh, we're very excited to give it a taste. So everybody give it a little sniff. Oh, yeah. That's familiar. That's really beautiful.

Yeah, get your beak in there. Get your beak in there. Okay. That's really gorgeous. Give it a little swirl. Okay, everyone, give it a taste. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Oh my God. If only we could get a boomerang of this. Wow. That's beautiful. That's really good.

Wow. It's got a really nice finish. Yeah, it's kind of like an oaky ratty, like, garty. like garbagey Yeah, it's got a chemical taste of like chemical waste chemical waste There's kind of some like

human waste in there Yeah, really good waste. Yeah, it's got like When I like lick a sidewalk Downtown Los Angeles Yes It's like that's what I'm getting Yes? Yeah

And like how often are you doing that queen? I mean before I go to the studio It's kind of a ritual Yeah, yeah, of course I love a priest of prepod ritual Before I got here that's kind of You were doing that with a car You were looking at the outside windows of the car.

Yeah. Well, that's like my ritual. Which I love. Yeah. And that's my thing. We all have them. We all have them. I like the palms of everyone's hands in the studio because I'm trying to get sick.

Yes. Which I saw you doing that. Yeah. You're playing that game with him. Cough in my mouth. Yeah. I'm just trying to get real fucking sick with whatever anyone else has got. Yes.

Which I think is amazing. Yeah. And I think we should all be doing that. Yeah. Well, you know, she's an empath. So she wants to take on everybody else's things. I love that. I love that.

I love that about you. Yeah. It's like taking on everyone else's pain, except they also still have it, you know? Yeah. So it's just kind of pointless. I'm kind of doing that. But with my own pain. Oh. Yeah, I'm taking on all of my pain all the time.

Oh, but you still have. Speak on that. Yeah. Well, I'm just constantly feeling darkness. Oh, my gosh. Oh my gosh. It's one of those things we're like, I wake up in the morning and I look at the mirror. I'm just like, I don't like you.

You know, just like that on a daily basis. That's so girls night. So really? Yeah. So, like, a big part of girls night is, you know, talking about our feeling, talking about, like, what we're struggling with. Yeah, absolutely. Like, what, what's something that, like, has really been on your mind lately that you've

been having a good time with? I mean, if I'm, if I'm being honest, you know what I mean, I don't want to like just like gob here on your podcast. This is for gobing. This is for yapping. Yeah. Well, you know, I've been doing my podcast, which is the number one comedy podcast in the world, you know, it's amazing.

It's amazing. It's amazing. And I just think that, like, I thought once I was like, like, kind of like the most internet famous goblin that I would get a lot of callers. You know what I mean? Gentlemen callers, lady callers. So you're feeling. Dog collars.

Dog collars. Yeah. Great. Oh, and listen, I don't kink shame. Yeah. Okay. So then like you're feeling under sexed. Yeah.

When's the last thing? Sex. Not sexed. Not sex. Not sex. Not sex. Yes. Yes.

Girls? Yes. Yes. Yes. Girlie, when is the last time you got some? Oh, you know, it's probably been like, I don't know, like 30. 31? K.

30,000 years. 30,000 years. Probably, I mean, just like, are we doing like, you know, real time or like? Goblin time. What's the difference between goblin time and real time? You know, we're just notoriously thousands of years late. Oh, okay. Yeah.

So you guys like just got dial up. Yeah, I mean, honestly, we're still, I have a blackberry. Oh, my God. You still have a blackberry? Yeah. Oh, girly. I bought a little pen the other day. Oh, girl.

That's why you were sending no emojis to the group chat. Yes. Girl. Yeah. Okay. I mean, there's a reason why the text turns green. Oh. Okay.

So your text turned green and you're under sexed. Yeah. Anti-sext. Anti-sext. 30,000 years of no sex. That's right. That's hard. Yeah, it is.

That's hard. Well, it's been soft. It's been soft for 30,000 years. And get that on a t-shirt. It's been soft for 30,000 years. Yes. And much like your fingers, very soft. Your fingers are so soft.

Can I touch one? Of course. Oh, my God. So soft. We got to go get them done together. You got to get our hands done. I've had mine done in so long. Yeah, we got to get our hands done.

So the thing about it is, if you don't know this at home, John's hands are insanely soft. Like the softest hands I've ever touched in my entire life. Yeah. And why don't you have a collar touching these hands? Yeah. I've got to be honest. Like, I just can't figure it out.

Yeah. Like, I got a job. Yep. You know what I mean? Are you on the apps? I'm on all the apps. Oh, you're on everyone. Yeah, I'm on my face.

Yep. I'm on, uh, when my date sees me, they help. Oh. That's really good. I'm obviously very funny. I'm obviously very funny. Do you do a lot of puns on your dates or do you not even get to the date? I mean, on our date, I feel like we have a little pun.

Oh. Oh, no, much fun. Wow. Wow. You are. This is just like, this is the kind of stuff they're going to get. But I just feel like a lot of times, like, dating is really tough, you know, for me. Because a knock on, you know, dating profiles is that no one looks like their profile picture.

You know what I mean? What photo are you using for yours? Well, I'm using what I was kind of like. Right. So I think my problem is I do. Mm-hmm. Oh, okay, got it. So we're advertising.

actually too correctly. I think so. Okay. We need to, yeah, we need to make your, your picture more. Well, let me ask you, girls. Are you on the apps? And if so, like, what are some things I could put on my profile that I could really kind of get me out there? You know, we're really not on the apps, but I will say, like, I think for you, you really need to lean into how green you are. Like, you really need to just lean into like your green, your goblin, all your prompts should be about all your goblin shit. Because we've said it on this podcast before. The weirder and more authentic you are,

the more likely you are to find somebody who really loves you for you. And the thing about apps is that you can kind of fake who you are and go on a bunch of bad dates with a bunch of people who aren't that correct for you. But that's exhausting and demoralizing. I have a question. Are you on field?

I'm not familiar or no. Oh, it's the kink app. Field is the kink app. And the thing about Field is that I feel like a lot of people on field are very willing and or accepting. Not necessarily always both. But like there's people who are just very willing, very willing to try.

Willing to try anything for fun. And I think that I don't know if you're into kink or if you're more vanilla and traditional. I feel like I'm on an app that's kind of like that. It's called Christian Mingle. Yes. Oh yeah. That's kind of like that.

I'm getting a lot of luck on Christian Mingle. Not really. I'll like match with them and then we'll just kind of have like a back and forth. You're like, do you have five minutes to talk about our Lord's Savior? I'm like, do you have five minutes talk about our dark Lord and Savior? Oh, right, right. Like, how?

My turn's water into wine. I'm like, my turns wine into Molly. You know? That's way more fun. Definitely more fun. I mean, here's the thing. You're in luck because we actually offer a matchmaking service on this show. We do.

Oh, my God. So we actually scouted for some potential matches for you. Yes. And we would love to show you them and kind of like figure out if we can find. Yeah, pick some people and see who you're interested. in. Oh my God. Ladies, I'm touched. Are you going to cry? Are you going to cry? Are you going to cry? Go on. Girl's Night is for tears. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm not going to do it. Okay. Okay. Okay, I'm not going to do it.

Okay. Okay, good. Oh, my God. That was something. Okay, cool. So, um, we're going to check out some people. Okay. So this is Debra. Obviously. Obviously, this is Debra. You can't see Debra because you're listening to this. Deborah's like some hot fucking stuff. She's got hollow eyes that look like ping pong balls. She's got an open mouth with teeth the size of like, I don't know, figurines. You get at a knick-knack store. She lives in a swamp that looks like the color of miso soup.

Yeah. Her body is bark, I think, with some moss on it. And she is at least partially submerged at all time. I think she's dying. She's dying and she's been dying for, I shit you not, centuries. So what are your thoughts on Deb? I mean, I'm going to start with the positives. Yeah.

She's an outdoor gal. I like that. Yeah. She's active. I like that. You know, she's on a hike. She's taking a swim. It seems like she's using her voice.

It looks like she's going, like that, that, you know, which I do like. Yeah. A vocal wind. Yeah, very kind of like metal. which I'm into. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.

You know, I'm an earthy guy. Like she has earth growing out of her. Yeah. And so those are the positives. Yeah. Those are the positives. Let's start right there. Yeah.

You know, I, again, I do not discriminate based on looks. Yep. I do not discriminate based on personality. That's amazing. I do not discriminate on any attribute of somebody or something. Good. You know, I do not discriminate on anything that they could do or say or what they stand on or or their morals or their morals or their.

or their physical being or what they think or if they're alive or dead. I do not discriminate. Oh, so you have no standards. Yes, correct. That's beautiful. Okay. Oh, honey, I think we need to talk about that. Okay.

I think you should have some standards. Okay. Like, you're such a catch. Look at your gorgeous floppy ears. Yeah, look at your soft, soft hands. Your hands and your ears and your nose are all so. You're a podcast. You're just like.

Not so much value. No, no. Yes. Even if you didn't have all of that external value, you've got so much value just by being such a wonderful goblin. Yeah, you have so many puns. Oh, my God, you're full of puns. You're full of puns. If we cut you open, it would only be puns and sludge.

Interesting. So I think that you need to, like, you know, be a little bit more critical. Maybe just a little bit more critical on the next one. You know what? Swipe left. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Swipe left on Deborah. Normally I'd be all over her, but this. No. Okay. So now this is, some would say, a drawing. Well, yeah. Some would say not real, which I'm already into. Now, this is some sort of beaked creature with a shell and I'm going to say a Beatles haircut. Yeah. It's holding an arm. This is, of course, beaked Sheldon. This is Beaked Sheldon. He's holding an arm and his brothers are obviously circling him in the water, waiting for him to die. They're waiting for him to die so that he and the arm fall into the water so that they can feast, obviously. Right. And who doesn't want to feast on their sibling really? Oh, you've got to feast on your sibling. You've got a feast on the arm. He has some pretty awesome claws, clossum, as I would say. Very clawsome. He's got what looks like a hole in the top of his head. What is that?

I would say it's somewhere for his brain to exit. Yeah, I think they've all had lobotomies. Yeah. So that's kind of cool, too. Yeah, they've all had lobotomies. And what was his name again? And this is Beeked Sheldon. Beaked Sheldon and his lobotomy and his lobotomous brothers. Yeah. They all did lobotomies on each other and they can do one on you too. So what are your thoughts, John?

All right. Again, with the positives. Okay. Right. Family man. I love that. I love you. You know what I mean?

Actually physically lending a helping hand. Yeah. Which I also really, really like. So true. And I love the Big Bang Theory. So I love the Big Bang Theory. Of course you love the Big Bang Theory. That's my favorite.

They've got so many puns in that show. They do. You're literally the exact demographic for that show. Yeah. They do. Thank you. That's what I... I've seen every episode.

Yeah. Yeah. All 7,244. I absolutely love it. It just won't end. Yeah. Well... God, someone make it end.

Yes. Yes. Okay. So any negative thoughts? Um, well, I've never dated a painting before. Okay. That's fair. That's fair.

So. Yeah. There's a good of just a bit of a boundary. Right. Just a bit of one. That's a boundary for you. Yeah. I just,

if we're talking about the new John, you know what I mean? The one with standards. I think standard number one, I feel like paintings are off. I'm just, I don't know. Is that wrong? Just not going to fuck a painting.

Yeah. Here's my thought. Okay. If it's two dimensional, how does. it fuck. Like you don't know. It doesn't. You'd have to fuck it. You'd have to fuck it. And it would stay perfectly still. And that's just a pillow princess. A pillow princess. And not everyone's into that. Actually, I've always said that. Every two-dimensional being is a pillow princess. What's a pillow princess? I think a pillow princess, if I'm not mistaken. No, you're not.

Is just someone who lays there during sex. That's correct. And goes like, you do all the work. I'm just here because I'm chilling. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I want a pillow princess. You want that? Because what we're saying is this painting would have not. no ability to participate. Yes. John, no, John, no, John. No, no, John. No, John, no, no, John. No, John, you want someone to want to have sex with you and want to be like,

but also, also, I think sometimes the thing about a pillow princess that we have to respect is maybe sometimes tired. No, no. And if I'm being honest, that is so fair. It is so hard being a painting in 2025. Sometimes. So I just feel like, we just need to, you know, just give it a break. Just give it a break.

If someone wants to bang this, you know, sometimes, sometimes it's like, well, you can, but I'm tired. Yeah, no, and I totally understand that. And sometimes it's like I'm not tired. Sometimes it's like, I'm going to fuck that painting. But sometimes you are the painting and I don't know. Yeah, and she's probably laying there going, honey, I'm a work of art, literally. Oh, my God. Come on now.

True. Yeah. Wait, you guys, this is completely true. And I believe that everyone should be a pillow princess now. I'm going to date this painting because I know John's not. Yeah. I think everyone should lay still during sex and no. one should do anything. Both parties. Every party involved in the sex should lay completely

still during the sex. I think it's essentially sleeping. Yeah, it's sleeping. Do you sleep? I do. I take micro sleeps. And what's that? How long is that? I'll show you. Oh, good morning. And how rested are you from that? Okay, you need to macro sleep, honey. Okay. Hold up. All right. Hello. Oh, God. Do you know who we are? Are you all reset or? Yeah, you're the two that to those sketchy. Okay. And they edit it really fast. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one.

Let's swipe left on Sheldon. Okay. Okay, so this is Garlock the divorced. I love Garlock and his recent divorce. Now, Garlock the divorced is mostly made of vines. Yeah, Garlock has no bottom jaw. It was taken in the divorce. Now, this is ex-wife.

His ex-wife got his bottom jaw. And his pupils, for that matter. And his pupils, yeah. This also is a Sears photo shoot. Right after he got divorced, he was like, I'm going to do some solo shots. Yeah, instead of like a family portrait, he did a post-divorce solo portrait. Yeah, at the Sears photography studio. Yeah, he used to be a model.

He did. Back in like 1490s. The 1490s, the 1490s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you remember it well? Okay. Yeah, he's really gorgeous.

He's mostly leaking. different substances sludge primarily. And what are your thoughts? Are you into it? Again, just like off the dome, just some positives. I like that he's trying to plant roots. Yeah. I want someone who's going to be here.

Yeah. Like, LA is such a transient city. Oh, my God. I'm like, I started dating somewhere. They're like, oh, I'm moving to a big city. You know what I mean? I'm going to Poughkeepsie. I'm going to Bakersfield.

Yeah, I hate when people leave L.A. for the big city, which is Peksi or Bakersfield. Yeah, 100%. They're always doing it. That literally always happens to me. And I'm always like, Stop going to Bakersfield and Poughkeepsie. I know we have so much more to offer.

And Baker with the big thermometer, everyone's always leaving L.A. to try to go start their big career with the big... Always what I'm saying is I'm a small town girl. I'm from L.A. I only know my small town roots of like EPLP. You're from two small towns. L.A. and Vegas. My very small town.

The two smallest towns there are. Yeah. So I understand that completely. Yeah. And I do like that. Again, there's kind of like a forest theme happening here. Yeah. I like that he obviously, you know,

is enjoying nature and is nature and is made of nature. I like that. The bottom job thing, honestly, doesn't bother me. No, doesn't bother you. I don't mind an overbite. I don't mind an only bite, which that is. Right, that is an only bite. Yeah.

Subscribe to his only bite. I subscribe. I'm on only bite. I think we need more divorced men question mark going on only bites and starting accounts because I think they could make a lot of bank and pay the child support question mark. Does it have a child? I've always said that.

Yeah. It's including the question marks. And I just want to ask a question. And again, this is, I got no shade here. All good. You know, I'm coming on this podcast. I'm so excited to be here. Oh, no.

We love to have you. And I love that, you know, you're trying to really get me out of, you know, my hump and, you know, really branch out and meet some new people. Mm-hmm. I'm assuming like the next one or the next one's going to be like Cindy Sweetie or something, right? They'll be like, you know, it's not just all like because I'm a goblin. Right. Oh, right.

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, God. That's Cindy Sweeney, right? That's Sidney's, so this is Cindy Sweeney. So this is Cindy Sweeney. Cindy Sweeney. Yeah, I think, right? She's in her bathwater right now.

Yeah, she sells it. She's selling her bathwater. This is a shot for euphoria. Okay, okay, this is good. Okay, so that, um, that is good. Yeah, that's good. Okay, that's good at Calatro. Okay.

Okay. This is Quanta Calatro and that's her sitting in her goop. And then let's go to the next one. Okay. Okay. Okay, no, this one, now this one, okay, this is Barfo the legally separated. Yes. Not quite divorced yet.

But legally separated. Oh, Barfo is. Yes, I'm into. I really, you really are into legally separated. Yeah. I'm going to be honest, we are friends with. Barfo. We're friends with Barfo, so we have, like, we have, like, experience with her. We love her. She has mold on her tongue. Yeah. Um, Barfo is... She got it in the legal separation.

She got it in the legal separation. Yeah. That was her half. That was her half. That was her got the car and the mold on her tongue. And the mold on her tongue. She's really quick in the water, but on land's not so quick. Well, what I like about her is sometimes, you know, she'll, she'll take a bite out of you and she'll just roll, you know, to rip off a part of you. Yeah. Like, you're heart. Yeah. You like your heart. To rip out your heart. Famously, um, she wrestles. She's a famous wrestler. She wrestles quite a bit. Yeah. I love wrestling. Yeah. Okay. And, um, she really wants to just let people know that even though she remains friends with her ex. Yeah. They are separated and they live in separate rooms. Yeah, they live in separate rooms of the same house. Same lake. Okay. Separate rooms, same like. Yeah, but is that a deal breaker living with the ex? No, it's not so much that. I have two boundaries I just Okay, I love that you're realizing your boundary.

Yeah, one of them is people who are art, you know. Right. And the second one is people from Florida. So I'm gonna have to pass. Damn, damn. I'm so sorry. Good for you, honey. Yeah.

Good for you. That's actually a really good boundary. Okay, is there anyone else or we, yeah, we've got this one, of course. Can I start this one? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, again, very foresty themes. I like this. Uh, looks like she's got a,

a sack of tiny, furry babies on a stick? Is that what those? Is that what you saw? So that's what they, that's actually her placenta. And she carries it around with her. Yeah, in case she wants to, you know, get back inside. Or put it in a, in capsules. Put it in a stew.

Put it in a freezer. And I like that she obviously does yoga. I mean, that's a hard pose to hold. It really is. Like that's a lot on your thighs. Oh, yeah. I mean, she's toned. You can tell.

Yeah. Literally her hat is all succulents and mushrooms. Oh, I really like that. Yeah. I love mushroom. Also, she has a hump like you, except hers is just mushrooms and succulents and yours is, I don't know, because it's under your dress. It's just fat buildup. It's just fat buildup.

And is that like a health problem? I mean, I'm working on it. You're working on it. You're working. Yeah. I've been going to nutritionists. Oh, sorry. I wasn't trying to shame you about it.

No, no, no, no, no, no. We just want to make sure it's benign. I mean, I should probably get it. I would get like a little biopsy. Biopsy, yeah. If it's benign, it's a beautiful, gorgeous part of you. And if it's malignant, we need to get that fucker off of you, that disgusting thing. Here's the thing.

Like, people go to surgeons to get the hump you have. Yeah. So I think just like, remember that it's gorgeous. It's absolutely like not a problem at all. And like we always do, pray that it is benign. Okay. Yeah. We're not, we're not like trying to shame you at all.

No, no, I don't feel shame. Okay, okay. You don't feel at all? I mean, besides the about I normally feel. Okay. The shame I normally feel is so high. Really? No, I'm not going to achieve that goal.

No one can. No one can. Shame is such a pivotal part of the goblin and human experience. I want you to feel that for me and I'm ashamed that you can't. I feel your shame now. I have such shame that you can't feel that. There's that empathy again. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe she'll get some of your diseases by the end of the night. Oh, you know I will. Yeah, of course. All right. I want to DM this one. Okay, well, it's see her. I do. Okay, great. I do.

I just want to. So what's like an opening lot? Yeah, yeah. I mean, like... Oh my gosh. Yeah, you Sid's phone. Sid, that's a beautiful case that you... Oh, yeah, I made it at too, too fun.

You can say like... Okay. Can you respond to one of her stories maybe? Oh, okay. Maybe you like respond to one of her stories first. It's like a soft open. Yeah, maybe if she has a story of like the placenta, like on a rock or something, like kind of all spread out.

Okay, here she is at Airwad. Okay, that's good. That's good. Okay. What do you want to say? Like, what's... What's smoothie? What's what you getting?

You can either be like, you look like you drink the Haley Bieber smoothie because you're so sexy. Or you could be like, whoa, rich girlie because Aeroon's expensive. That's kind of fun. Oh, you're really good at typing. Oh, you're, you know, like caller a boss bitch. Be like, whoa, you're such a queen because you can shop there. You're just so crazy. I can't get acrylics because I can't type with them, but you're so good.

I use each. I use one of each. I used to, when I had long nails all the time, and when I would take them off, I wouldn't be able to type with my normal hands. Oh, interesting. That is so strange. You gained like the phantom nail. I regained the skill, but you type, you used, you have different parts of your hands you use. Fair. This is actually really impressive. Yeah. So what did you end up sending? Okay. So I just tried to keep it short and sweet. Okay. So I said, Hey, oh my God, I was looking at your photos. I'm on a podcast with Sindylivia. And we're

having so much fun. We're having a little girl's night. I wear like this cute little dress, anything like that. And we're looking at other people's photos. And I was like, I don't really like them. They have like weird features and stuff like that. there's literally a person who didn't even have a bottom jaw. But I was like, pass, pass, pass. Then we stumbled upon yours. I was like, oh, she does yoga. And then I'm like stalking all your Instagram stories.

And I saw that you were, oh, I misspelled. Yep, Instagram. Okay. And then I was like, oh, you know, I saw you're on your Instagram stories. I said you're at Air One, so you have a lot of fucking money. I'm really interested in that. Let's talk more about that. Here's my phone number, my address.

Oh, and did you understand that? Here's my phone number, my address? Oh, you sent it. Just out. Okay. Oh, that is really simple. That was a really simple. You know.

opening. You've gotten a very long opening before. I have. I have. And how did you feel about that? I did once get like a three paragraph message, four paragraph message on a dating app and dated that person. Yep. So it does happen. It can work. What did they write? They wrote like a huge thing of like here are all the reasons I really think that we actually would get along really well. Yeah. And at first I was like this person's fucking crazy person. And then I gave it a shot and it was good. Yeah. So. it happens. Yeah. But like, you know, I mean, like this is, I would say. And you're still together. Yeah.

I would say, yeah. I would say, given it together for 600,000 centuries. Oh my God. So I do think like giving someone. Your address right away. Right away is a power move. It is a power move because it says I don't care if you come and kill me. No.

Here it is. Show up. I don't care. Come do what I fucking dare. I didn't even think of that. Yeah. I mean, that's just the male gays. You know what I mean?

I just don't have to think about that kind of stuff. Yeah, I know I totally like, wow. I have a weird question about goblins. I was doing some goblin research. Right. Thank you. Yeah, I just thought, you know, if we're going to do goblin face, we might as well do goblin research.

And I learned a really disturbing fact about goblins that we can look up if we want to just double check that this is true. But I learned that it's very rare for a goblin to make it to old age. That's just because of. I hear that goblins die before they're naturally. lifespan often. And I'm not saying, I'm very happy that you've been alive for so long and I hope you continue to, but I'm like, is that adding to any type of, you know, are you internalizing that in any way? Is that? I hear it all the time for my cousin, you know, he's like, it's because seed oil.

I'm like, it's not freaking seed oil. They reach adulthood relatively quickly, but their lives are often cut short by violence disease or their own reckless behavior. That's what I was going to say, is you're wondering why we don't reach our, you know, lifespan. Yeah. For the same reason Personally, but it's, you know, humans are a big part of that. Yeah. Oh, you know. Because of violence. Human on goblin violence.

Yeah. That's, oh, I'm so sorry about that. Disease, which I'm going to have yours by the end of the day. Yep. And your own reckless behavior. But I don't think you're that reckless. I think you're a pretty careful guy. I mean, here's the thing is, I wasn't raised by goblins.

That's such a good point. And speak on that. So, yeah, so I was adopted, you know, by a human family in Reseda, California. Okay. Love Reseda. Right. Right. And that's a really small town.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. 818. Small town. Shout out. Shout out 818. Nobody's got that. Yeah.

And I grew up in Reseda, so I kind of was kind of shielded. Yeah. You know, I had like, you know, a brother and a sister who kind of helped. Were they human? Yeah, they were human. Oh, iconic. Yeah. Yeah.

They were human. And so I just feel like because of that, I kind of adapted a lifestyle that was a little less goblin, a little less reckless. Right, right, right. That's fair. When did they tell you that you were adopted? Well, they did it. Oh. Yeah, that's what was tough is they tried to keep it from me. Oh. And that's a hard. Was that hard for them?

That's a big secret. I feel like it was. You know what I mean? Did you ever have like other kids in like recede a middle school or anything be like, you know, act like you were different or make it clear. Or maybe say like you're disgusting or something. Yeah, I was bullied a little bit. Yeah. That sucks. I hate that. I'm sorry. Yeah, that was hard. Yeah, 100%. And that sticks with you.

You know, like, because it hits your nervous system in a way that, like, even if you logically know that it was stupid, like, it still sticks in your blood. It still hurts. I mean, to be honest, like, the amount of ties kids are like, oh, take off your backpack. And I'm like, I did. And they're like, oh, take it off. And they're referring to my hump. Dude, I had the same thing in high school because I had a scoliosis brace.

So people would be like, stop that. And stop having an exoskeleton. And it's like, I can. This is my brace. This is who I am. This is who I am. So you and I actually are very similar. That's what I was saying to your producer off air before we started.

You were like, I feel like me and the Sid one are almost the same. Yes. Yeah. Which is why we're best friends. Yeah, because, yeah. And then I was like, wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah.

You were like, that girl is goblin. Yes. Yeah, I know. And I meant that as a full compliment. Oh, no. And I know you did. We only take it as that. Yeah.

Yeah. If anything, I'm sickeningly jealous. Oh, of course. Yeah. I said, that one's. got a spine like a windy road. Yeah. And that's what I said to him.

Yeah. You know, all the boys are just after my curves. That's right. Now, here's something, we know that you are a part of the very special group chat. Yeah. Oh. With some of your green friends. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Wait, can you tell us who's on the group chat? Okay. All right. So let's just get it out there. Everyone assumes that because I'm green and famous. I know all the other green famous celebrities. You know what I want to get out in front and say, I do.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Nope, we're on a chat. It's called the green party. Okay. Oh, the green party.

Oh, that's funny. That's funny. That's good. Is Yel Stein on the chat? Yes. Oh, good. Yes. Nader.

Yeah, they're all on there. They're all on there. Okay, great. And so, you know, there's like, I mean, Kermit. Yeah. He's been on there. I think he's, you know, I think him and Yoda started it. Oh, right, right.

That's so funny. And then they kind of got me involved. But it was kind of weird because, like, there was a long time. Yeah. where I didn't have enough followers to get in this. No. No fucking way. So annoying.

But it's like it verified that they're all like, oh, hey man. Oh, my God, I hate that. Oh, that's so stupid. That's so stupid. I mean, it's just, that's the time we live in. I know. It's a time we live in. Yeah, it didn't used to be that way like four centuries ago.

Yeah. Exactly. Oh, my God. It's so annoying. Eight, nine million years ago it was not like that. No, not at all. I remember it well. No, I know that, you know, you have all of the tea on these, like, green creatures.

And we would never ask you to come onto a podcast and spill, but, It's a girl's night. And so like, it's time to like have some goblin gossip. Here's a segment called Goblin Gossip. Play music. Cut the music. Okay. We're going to show you a member of your group chat.

Okay. And then let's just like talk about the dirty dee. All right. I mean, all right. Okay. Let's start with Kermit. Let's start with Kermit. Okay.

Tell us the deets. Right off the bat. Yeah. This is a good frog. Oh, my God. Good to know. That's good to know. He is a sweetheart, but the dude's in a toxic relationship.

Oh, yeah? You know, and it has been for years. And it's such a part of his identity. That's the thing. It's like, he's one of these frogs that he doesn't know anything else. He just knows Miss Piggy. Right. He's never had sex with anyone else.

I don't think so. Yeah. I don't think so. Like I asked him, I was like, you know, back in the day, you ever like, you know, late night text a fraggle or something? No. He said no. Just a pure boy. It's so crazy, too, because he's had so many fists inside of him, but he's never

fucked anyone else. Yeah. That's the thing. And I want him to kind of open up his sexuality. Right. Explore, you know, get out of that relationship because she has her thumb on him. Right. She has her hoof on him.

Wait, so does she hate you? Yeah, I'm not sure, actually. I don't know. Does she hate you? Or does she not know? We have a little bit of a pork between us. Oh, oh. And she.

she can sense it. Yeah. Because she doesn't like, when me and Kirby or in the same group together, she immediately comes out. She's like, what are you talking about?

What are you? Immediately. Yeah. She senses it. Yeah. And I've noticed lately, I don't know for sure and I don't want to just say it

outright on your podcast, but I'm going to say it outright on your podcast. Yeah, absolutely. You have to. I think she is now grabbing his phone and texting for him. On the group chat?

No fucking way. No, that's not okay. Yeah, because we're starting to like, I would kind of like tossing out some feelers and all this kind of stuff. And then all of his texts are just about how great Miss Piggy is. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, if she's, if it's not her directly texting, she's making him texting. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, so, I mean, there they are, you know, pretending, you know, putting.

Here are they. And she's so beautiful. Post as much as they post on Instagram. Yeah. Right? Yes. They're doing bad. I'm sorry.

They're doing bad. Yeah. What are they making up for? It's so true. And he does all of those really. long captions that are like my piggy, my everything. Yes. God. It's like, you know, she's in the room with you.

You could just tell her. You don't got to tell us. I know. And then they comment on each other's post like, aha, I'm right. Oh my God. You guys, I hate when he comments on her thirst trap saying, ooh, I've got the swine flu and then the like hot sweat dripping emoji.

And the pig and then the thermometer emoji. It's so embarrassing. I hate it. I mean, it's like they've been together for so long. It's like, yeah, we know. Yeah. You know, we know. We know.

We get it. She is a star. She's so hot. Do you think that he would have like a John Mullaney-type fallout after they got divorced if they did? Well, speaking of John Mullaney, that is a new chin for Kermit. I don't know if you can see that. Oh, yeah. That's a big kid.

Yeah, that looks like that. Yeah, that is not. He did not have that before. He looked so much better before. I like when people are natural. Yeah, but you know. But also do whatever you want. I mean, after his rehab stint, you know, he's got to do some things to, like, change it up.

And let's not forget. You put him in there. She put him in there? She put him in there? No, I did. Oh, you did. him in the room. Yeah, no.

Thank you for doing that. You mentioned him? Yeah. Oh, that was all of us. That was good. That was really, that was the whole group. Me, Hulk, Grinch, Alpha, we were all there. Speaking of Hulk.

Speaking of Hulk. Yeah, what's up? Let's just like check out. Let's Goss on Hulk. Yeah. Okay. Have any Goss on Hulk? Well, I don't want to like break news on here.

I don't know if you want like clips or whatever, but Hulk recently got kicked out of the chat. No. Why? Well, two reasons. One, he's only half. Okay. That's true. Only when he's angry.

That's right. Oh my God. And so that comes from his father's side for sure. I mean, talk about, you know, that is trauma that he is not dealing with. Right, right. So if it comes from the father's side, then it doesn't count. That's correct. Yeah, that's what I always say.

The anger. Right. If the anger comes from your father that transform you into green, it's a no-go. Okay, got it. It's a no-go. Right. And does he ever, like, take that anger out on you guys in the chat? Or does he have, like, anger issues?

Or does he get drunk and, like, fucked up stuff? He is such a beathead. honestly and it's just annoyed like he's always like oh you wouldn't like me when you're angry it's like we don't like you ever you know what I mean right right right is like a Rogan guy yeah he is upset and he's always like

where's my protein like I watch my UFC fights and listen by Rogan and he gets all hopped up and he's on royds of course he is looking at us like I mean the guy makes the rock look like the pebble you know what I think he oh see there he is Joe Rogan at home on Joe Rogan he's on Joe Rogan oh my god he loves it yeah yep

he crazy I mean and just look I don't get political you know we're the green party we try and stay neutral stuff like that but he just has all these crazy theories

Hulk so exhausting it's draining to be we have another chat without Holt oh my God you're kidding called like not Hulk or something yeah oh my gosh

wow that is so that's so like Kardashian yeah yeah it's actually the chat's called you wouldn't like me when I dot dot dot dot we never liked you oh wow long name of the chat

we never finds that long we're on blackberries right right right right it fits okay what about the Grinch yeah I want to know what's up with the Grinch I are there any also yeah go ahead no just I feel bad talking about the Grinch because I think he's just got OCD he's just obsessed with just like Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas and it's like it's kind of his thing

which like I don't want to shit on but it's like they're other holidays? Well, it's this other thing, too, where, like, there's a big upset in the OCD community when people monetize off of OCD and sell shirts that say obsessive Christmas disorder, you know, because obviously OCD is really harmful, but I think this is a person who has actual obsessive Christmas disorder. Yes. Yeah, that's like his, and maybe he just needs that shirt. That's his flavor of OCD, his subcategory, because there's so many stuff. There's harm OCD. Right. You know, there's religious OCD or scrupulosity OCD. He's got Christmas OCD. And he's another one. that like changed a little bit.

Really? Oh, after he got famous? Yeah. When he just had a few of the books, he was fine. Yeah. He got that movie. Yeah. And he was always like, oh, I'm going to this Hollywood party.

I'm going to this Hollywood party. Like, I hang out with all the elites. You know what I mean? It's like he's not even a real doctor. No, he's not a real doctor. It's not like that. No, he barely can rhyme fish with fish. It's like the guy isn't anything to brag about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so true. So I just think it's like one of those things. And honestly, Dr. Seuss, like, ghost writes all his stuff. Of 100%. Yeah. That's 100%. No, no, no.

And I mean, my big thing, too, is he did spend so much one-on-one time with a child. He spent too much one-on-one-time with Cindy Lou Who. And I don't really... I don't suspect anything bad. No, I don't... It's just a lot of one-on-one-off. I'm not saying that that was bad. I'm just saying it's weird.

Yeah. And I think that we shouldn't encourage that kind of behavior. Yeah. Yeah, I just like I'm not sure about that. I want to know what, like, Yoda's dating situation. situation is. Yeah. Is Yoda single? Yoda is single, yeah. Oh, cool. He,

what's it called? Would like you you're dating like a lot of people. Oh, he's Polly? Yeah. Oh, he's Polly. Oh, Yoda's Polly. Yeah, he's Polly. Right. That's fair because he's so old. Yeah. He's, I feel like if you're around for that long, everything traditional has got to be boring. Yeah. He does a lot of drugs.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He used to talk totally normal. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. He had a amazing command of the English language. And then he went up to the Mexican mountains. He came home and he's like, me like Ayahuasca, I think. Oh, no. We know you.

We know. Oh, yeah, that, I mean, that's a guy on ayahuasca. Look, I mean, that's, he just is. That guy zooted off the galaxy gas. Yes. Yeah, that's, that is so wild. So then people are like taking advice from this guy and maybe they shouldn't be. Oh, no.

I mean. Yeah, he's giving so much advice all the time. Not all the time. To like a lot of really high. highly important people. That's been happening. And he is the first to tell you about that. He's like, oh, everyone likes my opinion and stuff like that.

You know, but he says it all jumbled or whatever. What about how fucking high he is in that picture? Yeah, he's so fucking high. That's what I mean. It's like everyone's like this guy's a genius. I'm like, uh, no, he's not. He's kind of a quack. Yeah, this guy is hallucin.

It's like when everyone was like, you know, everyone always says Kanye's a genius, but it's like he rhymed asshole with asshole. So it's like. That's right. Or it's like a genius of some things musically, but he also he made it, a bunch of songs. He made the I Give My Cousin Head song. Yeah, it's like Rasputin was like telling all of the leaders being like, listen to me, I'm Rasputin, I'm so important. And like maybe he was just really fucking high. And that's why he was giving such awful. Look at him. He's high as fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's, see, that's the good I know. Yeah. That's what he's like, he's always the first to be like, let me tell you, Johnny. You know, and just like, what? Is he sharing drugs or is he just keeping him in? Oh, he, he has his own little like drug wear. house thing that like we don't even go to. Oh, a warehouse. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, do be honest, I used to dabble in way more drugs and they started hanging out with him and I slowly started to weed them out.

Yeah, you had to stop because you saw what it would be like a bunch of farm. Yeah, I was like, I don't want to come this. Yeah, yeah. And it's bad enough. When I go to Comic-Conn's and stuff, everyone thinks I'm Yoda. Really? I mean, it's the ears. I get it.

I get it. But like, everyone assumes that. But that's also kind of offensive. Like, for somebody to just assume that you're someone else who has similar ears. It's like not very nice. fucking specious. It's like rude. Yeah.

You guys don't even have the same hairline. Well, the thing is, it's like, whoever the fuck ends up being with you is going to be so happy and so lucky. Yeah. Like, I really mean that. Yeah. I mean, I think so. And like, I got a new place.

Whoa. What is it? Tell us about it. I've been living in a Waymo. Oh, you're living in a Waymo. Yeah. In a Waymo. Yeah.

And is that legal or? Well, here's a thing. thing is with an Uber, there's like a dude in there who will kick you out. Right, right, right, right. What they didn't figure out is you stay in there and a voice will come on for sure. Telling you to get out. Yeah, it'll unlock the door like 400 times, but eventually that's kind of like a sound machine. Yes, and you can go deep to it.

Yeah. It's more, it's like a suggestion. Yeah. They're like, please leave it and you just go, no. Well, it's like when you drive without your seatbelt on and your car yells at you the whole time and then you get off to the sound. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yes. Yeah, you guys both do that for sure. Oh, yeah. And you go, yeah, yell at me. I like getting yelled at. I like the danger. Yeah, I love danger. I love getting yelled at.

It's like, I'm not going to put my seatbelt on. I'm getting off. Yes, yes, yes. So do other people get inside the Waymo while you're like living in it? That's a good way to meet people. Oh, interesting. Usually they open the door. They scream and they close the door.

Oh, interesting. But what if? What if? What if they open the door? You go, I'm single. Yes. They get inside. And now we have a lot.

our own dating show. It takes place in the Waymo where people are dating you. Yeah. In a Waymo. Yes. Yes. I think this could be something here. This is something.

There's something here. There is something. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not, I'm trying to come up with a fun title for that show. Waymo Gobloor. Waymo Gables. Waymo dates for John Goplin. Waymo Gables.

Waymo dates. Waymo. Oh yeah. Waymo dates for John Gopacon. You know? Oh. Like you get way more dates because you're in the waymo. In the Waymo and.

Yes. Now, would you ever consider sitting in the front seat of the Waymo and pretending like you're the Uber driver or something? I love doing that. I love sitting in the front seat of a Waymo pretending to drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you have your license? No, no. That's awesome. So that's like a really good game for you. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So I feel like this has helped me gain some confidence that, like, I have a place. I'm not just sleeping at the studio. Yeah, 100%. That's beautiful. like that.

I have a place. You do. You can start a life. Do you want kids? I think they're delicious. Yeah, of course. So I wouldn't mind, like, you know, I don't know how long it takes, but like have like what a week. That would be.

That's really beautiful. Pretty delicious. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. So that could be fun. Yeah, that could be like a fun little couple activity depending. Totally. Yeah.

If you found someone who could give birth once a week. I feel like the right one will. Yeah. The right one will. The right one will. Making a kid is so fun. But the more fun part is eating the kid. Is it?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Making the kid is like the best part. I would love to know how. Yeah. You don't know how? I'm sure it's like a bunch of ingredients.

There's like seven steps and stuff like that. But like I'm not one into making stuff, you know. No, but it's like. Wait, I have a question. I'll just door dash it. Yeah. No, you can't door dash a kid. Have you, wait, I don't know how to ask this and it's girls night.

Have you? Have you ever had? Have you ever? Never have I ever? Never, okay, wait, never have I ever. Had sex? Okay, next. So you have.

What? You put your finger down, so you have. Oh, if I put my finger down, I've had it? You had sex. So never have I ever had sex and then I'll put a finger down. I'll put a finger down. Oh, okay, okay, try it, try it. Okay, never have I ever had sex.

Got it. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, shit. Okay, do you want to do? Never have I ever gone to third base. Okay.

No, that's sick. Never have I ever made out. What do you mean like making out? What do you mean like? Like tongue kissing. Okay. Never have I ever had a peck. Like a peck kiss?

Like a closed mouth little. I did an episode with the guys from Super Troopers and we came very close, but right before our lips touch he pulled away. Oh, does that happen too often? Yes. Never have I ever hugged? Are you trying to remember if you're?

Yeah, I mean like whether it's like full? Like a hug. You've never had a hug? I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, should we do one? Should we do one? Yeah, sex? Well, I was, let's start with a hug and then we'll try to work our way up to sex. Like after.

We'll work our way up to sex. This is so crazy. This is. literally what all my guy friends told me happens. At girls. It is. It's in this. And then we work our way up to sex.

And then pillow fight. And then we work our fights. Which I'm so excited. I brought my pillows. I brought my fight. And I brought my sex. Oh my God. Look at us.

Oh my God. Let's do hugs. This is a segment called John Goblican gets his first hug. Music. Cut the music. We'll do it in silence. You guys go first. Wait, no.

I want to be a part of the first one. One. two, three. Oh, you're arms. Yay. Oh, okay. All right. All right.

Wow. So how was that? How was that for you? So that was sex. No, oh, so, sorry. That, um... Yeah, that was sex. That was sex.

Yeah, that was sex. I, that was great. I mean, can I borrow your phone or... Yeah, if you want. Yeah, I mean, just gonna... What for... I'm always trying to borrow people's phones after sex. No, I just want to

get the group chat. Okay. This guy got to manually put in all their numbers, but I do remember them. You're telling all your friends? I'm just, no, I'm just You're telling all your friends. You had sex with them? Just try to. On our podcast. You had the coveted sit and

Olivia threesome that we sell the raffle tickets for? I'm just trying to find, what's that gift of Wilfarrell? And he's like, oh my God, you know, I'm trying to find that one. Okay, there it is. Oh, shit. All right. Should we tell him? And then hold on. And it's with an X.

Yeah, it's with an X. All right. They're going to be like, whoa, John. Like, hold of this podcast, man. Yeah. So that's got up. Cheers. Did you.

Well, cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Wow. Okay. Classic girls night.

Yeah. Ending the way it always does. Always ends like that. Oh, wow. It's hard to drink with this. Yeah. Was it good for you? Yeah.

Was that good for you? I feel good. Good. You know, my heart's racing. Yeah, okay. Yep, yep, yep, yep. That usually happens. And I'm tired.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm tired. Really takes out of you. Yeah. But it wasn't as much as everyone made it out to be. But I don't want to, but. Right.

You don't want to hurt our feelings. I felt safe. I felt. And that's important. And that's important. And now I feel like that I got. the first one kind of over with that it's like now it's kind of like now I could just kind of do do it all the time now you can do it all the time yeah can you listen to your thoughts for a second sure yeah yeah I don't think we should tell him no I think let's just let him think that that's what happened okay what's gonna happen when he actually tries to do it and you just give somebody a hug fuck me I don't know okay that's fine we that's something we don't have to deal with wow god damn it okay well that's fine all right uh how are your thoughts going John Oh, oh, sorry.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Morning after, am I right? Morning after. Oh. Oh.

Do you remember last night at all? I do. I know we were drinking these drinks that we were all kind of a little fuzzy. Don't get me wrong. Like, I love your sketches. Like the ones you guys do where you were talking about. We were talk talk to us and they edited it really fast. I don't like where this is going.

I just think like now that I like slept on it and stuff like I just feel like it's like you're so funny. This always happens. No, no, because we were like it was really fun. I just am like one of those things where it's just like looking at my career trajectory, it's like being the thought of being tied down right now is kind of like I just feel like maybe we should, you know, see other creature. Oh my gosh. You're rejecting us? No, no, no, no, no, no. Two girls.

No, no. For the price of one. For the price of one. Yeah, but you barely have any roots growing out of your end. Uh, I'm not, I, that's, a lip and a jaw. Uh, well. This always happens to me. And that's usually the note I get.

Yeah, I mean, are you even art? I don't think so. Yeah, see? It's just, it's one of the things where it's like, I think I'm just a girl. I just feel like coming on this podcast, literally, I think that. Yeah. Yeah. that I realized really who I am.

Oh, wow. And that's, to be honest, that's all I wanted for this. I don't know if you were trying to get just the sex thing out of this podcast, but I really wanted two friends. And I feel like I... You had sex with us because you wanted two friends? Yeah. Okay. Listen, I can take some time to process that and I can probably come back and meet you right there.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's, that's fine. This always happens to me. Someone has sex with you because they want two friends. Yeah. They have sex with me because they're like, I really wanted two friends.

Yeah. And it's just like, that's okay. I'm just going to figure it out. No, I, wait a minute. Am I that gob now? No, no, no, you're fine. You're fine. Like, it just was one of the same word just like, I just.

No, you're not a fuck goblin if that's what you're. No, you're not a fuck goblin. No. You're not a fuck goblin. Like, I just was worried because it's like, I don't want to be that. No. No, you don't, but your actions say it's a... And now that I've had it, you know what I mean?

Yeah. I'm like a sex gob. Yeah, you're a sex gob. I feel like I don't want to change. You don't want to change from... I don't want to be different. Oh, okay. I don't want to be like everyone in the threat.

Right. You know, which by the, what are they saying in that threat? Oh, yeah. They're saying that they're all lining up to fuck you. Oh! They just are like, wow, that's so fun. We all want to have sex with you now. They're picking a number.

Tell them I'll be done really soon with this podcast. Tell them I'll be done really soon with the podcast. And I just think like it's one of those things where it's like, you know, I'm just the same old me. Right. I mean, I'm not different. Yeah. You know, and I just appreciate that both of you took the time. Right.

To get me there. Right. And I'm not going to forget the people that got me to where I am, you know. We were not pillow princesses. You know? No. And Sid, I just want to say that I'm not going to forget you. Thank you.

You know. Thank you so much. Yeah. Because we came into this thing best friend. We did. And we became best friends. Oh, my fucking God. What?

I've never been so offended on this show in my life. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Says the girl wearing green face. Oh, my God. Okay. I just don't.

No. I mean, let's talk about it. No, it's okay. Let's talk about this. I mean, because I also heard that this is what eventually happens on all the girl's sleepovers. So we all, we all have pillow fights. we have sex and then we cancel each other for wearing green folk.

Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, I guess we have a lot of talking to do and a lot of listening and learning to do. But we're going to do that off camera because let me tell you, we can't have a digital footprint of this. Of any of this. Of any of this. John Goblicon, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Thank you for making me. And where can the people find you? Well, they could find me at the real John GobbleCon because there's fakers out there at the Real John GobbleCon on Instagram and TikTok and check on my podcast, though right now podcast with John GobbleCon.

I'd love to have you two ladies on. Oh, we would love to. Sorry, let me rephrase that. I would have loved to have you two ladies on. I just feel like now the chemistry is kind of so weird. Yeah, now it's really weird. Yeah, it does feel different. Right.

We might need to all have sex with a bunch of other people so much so to forget that we had sex before we get on your podcast. Once we do that, I would feel very comfortable. This literally always happened to me. Always. No, and hey, bro, I really had fun with you. Yeah. I did. Yeah.

I really, I had a great time. Found it. Yeah. Thank you so much. Okay. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. You literally met my dad and now we're doing this.

Yeah, this is great. Cool. This is great. This is so great. Thank you so much for having me. And I'm going to take this. Oh, yeah. You're going to take that out of the studio.

It's like a drink and drive because. Yeah. You're in a way now. Okay. All right, girls. Okay. Oh, bye. Oh, bye.

Oh, bye. Oh, God. Let me tell you. Yeah. How are you feeling? You feel little used? Yeah, but I hate to see him leave. I love to watch that hump.

I love that hump. I love that hump. I love that hump. Guys, if you want more freaking shit, You want more freaking shit. Go to our Patreon. Yeah. We've got episodes early, uncut, extended.

We've got Q&As. We're going to do a movie night every month now or something like that. We're going to have all kinds of fun, silly things. Just come check it out. It's every $5. Go check it out. And until next time, I've been the Sid one this whole time. I have been the Olivia one.

This has been Sid and Olivia Talk Shit. And we will see you next Tuesday. FreeZ frame.