Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - IS SMOSH SERVING?? W/ TOMMY BOWE

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

This week the force of nature that is Tommy Boew joins us on the podcast! Use code TALK10 for 10% off your SeatGeek order*. https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/TALK10 $20 max discount Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Chapters 00:29 | Intro 01:14 | Tommy Bowe! 02:20 | Performance Enhancing Powdered Drink Challenge 07:00 | Tenting But Not The Camping Kind 10:01 | Tommy's Safe Words 12:09 | Serving 15:27 | Seat Geek! 16:37 | Are these random images Serving? 32:50 | Syd & Olivia's New Pod Idea 35:22 | Hate Watching Reality Shows 42:13 | Tommy Explains Verotika 48:55 | What's Wrong With Olivia? 52:30 | Attraction/Tenting Check In Bonus content on Syd & Olivia's Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia Tommy Bones https://www.instagram.com/tomeybones https://www.youtube.com/@UC_5bmFKBY1XXqtgvYnR_ZcA https://www.tiktok.com/@tomeybones This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, show me your thumbs because some people have bent backwards thumbs up and some people don't. Whoa, yours is really bent back. Your is bend backwards. I mean, mine are straight. Whoa. Oh, okay, that's so... Oh no, I know my allegations are out. Oh no, your allegations are out. Oh no, it's time to music. You're fucking low. Welcome to the big bad podcast for you. It's a bad, bad, bad, podcast for you. I'm the Sid one and the Olivia one. And together with the

Sid and Olivia ones talk one's. Ones. Now, uh, today on today's episode, No, today on today's episode one. Today on today's one. Today on today's one. We have a very, very special guest. Someone you love and I love. Someone I love and you love. Someone who is fun.

We all want to date. Yes. Today we're not sure if we're going to be able to. So we'll find out. Today we have Prince of Your Hearts. Prince of Egypt. Prince of Egypt and Prince of your hearts. It's Tommy Bo.

That was awesome. Thank you for crawling into camera. That was like the best crawl I've ever seen. You're so welcome. We have a guy who comes on this podcast sometimes, who's a crawling champion. What does that mean? Yeah. It means he's in the over 30 bracket of like the crawling division.

Is there like a heavyweight versus like a lightweight crawling division? Do they weigh them? So I've never been. Yeah, I think he would be lightweight. He's very light. I've never been in the same room as him. No. Not like quite sure.

I've been in the same room. with him in passing. Was he on the floor? Yeah. He's essentially just like an in-cell, right? But he loves, he's good at crawling, longest foreskin. Yeah, it's twice the size of his Pipee. Oh, wow. Now, here's a question we have for you.

Okay. Truly, how are you feeling right now? Oh, my God. I feel good. You know, we love you so much. I know, I love you both, too. You know, you respect your consent and your bodily autonomy, right? I'm curious as to why that was brought up.

But thank you so much. Not even for a reason. I just love to say that. You know that we love you so much. We'd love to take this relationship to the next level. Uh-oh. Yes, I'm ready. Let's do it.

Here in the studio right before this, we found some performance enhancing. Sexual performance. Sexual performance. It says it's not subtle. It says in huge letters, sexual performance enhancing. Now, why was this in the workplace? I don't know. Probably because it's a sexy-ass workplace and everyone's got to get on their game.

Looking so sexy, being so sexy. Someone should sue me for that. But we have the sexual performance powder in this cup. And they're not sponsoring us. So we're not going to tell you what it's called because I don't remember. I don't remember what it's called and we're not telling you what it's called. But we think we should all drink it and see if we can become love. Let's see how our SPP goes.

It's going to be a hard. Our sexual performance powder. Yeah. Also. Your SPP level. Z-viol right now. about to go, by the way, this is like a nice cloudy peach color. Yes, that's the most, it's not an appealing.

When I'm thinking about having sex and doing it better, I think about what's cloudy? What's cloudy? I want to not see a cloudy liquid. Yeah. I let's, then that, that, that. You said liquid weird. Liquid. Yes. It's the region of California she's from.

Oh, cloud. Liquid. Liquid. So I think we should all cheers with our liquid. To falling in love today. Cheers. And I've already tried before, but we're going to try. Oh, wait.

Cute. You reached it. All right. To sex. To sex. To sex. Sex. Oh, dear.

Oh, my God. I'm so glad we didn't say the name because that's actually so bad. I'm the only one that doesn't mind it. But I also drink a lot of artificial stuff all the time. What do you mean you drink a lot of artificial stuff at all the time? Like, I'm a person who like has fallen victim to every, like in my early 20s, I fell victim to every like, this magical powder will make you lose weight. You were just whatever was around. Anything that like someone was going like, here's a fake before and after.

And they're not even the same person. And all it is is just like some tea or some like something that's going to give you a rash. Of course. And then I bought them all at the time. And now I don't. But that's probably why it doesn't feel that crazy to me. You're used to. I'm used to bad powders.

Didn't we have some experience in our early 20s? With bad powders? Yeah. Were you recommended? Whoa. Well, wait a second. Hold on. I would call those fun powders, I mean.

No, there was like some bad powder that you recommended to me. Is that correct? Or maybe you recommended the like company to me and then I got like crazy shit happen with my body. Okay. Like what? So we both did this to each other by accident in our early 20s. You like MLM'd each other? We MLM'd each other by accident.

And so I, okay, I don't remember the one I did to you as well because it didn't happen to my body and I apologize for that. That is so not at all where I was coming from with this. But you, no, I'm just, you. Apologial. You, no, you, you told me about a, like a probiotic or something. Like a junk prebiotic that was like, just in case your junk needs to be better. There's nothing wrong with it, but what if it's better? Yes, yes.

There was like a whole run where like women were being like, listen. I'm going to guess your junk is terrible. It's like, my pocket's nasty. You all need to My pockets Listen My pocket's nasty You gotta change

My pockets nasty I've got to change prebiotics I don't need Which that's for your tummy though Is it not? Should be Okay But they have

Did you do Did you powder up in your pocket? I didn't powder my pocket But I did Have a probiotic that gave me Like a very long Issues A very long clitoris

What I was worried about Wait Dripping with liquid Do you know dripping with liquid. It gave me like a UTI and like for like a long time. Do you know that OZembe makes your vagina go long? It makes your vagina go long.

Have you ever been on OZEPE? What? Yeah. Have I ever, Have I ever been on OZempe? Okay, the allegations are. The okay. You've been on.

We told Tommy we were going to come up with some allegations for him by the end of the episode. I think number one, we're starting off with Tommy has absolutely tried. OZempe. At a party. Oh yeah. You tried it at a party. You know like Jellos shots when they're in the little things? It was it actually wasn't Jello.

It was a little O-Zempe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Into your stomach, because that's where you put it? I don't know. That's a really common mistake, though. Jello-Zempic. They look at the same. Jell-O-Zem-Pic.

I lost all my weight in my groin. Wow. Yeah. I'm so sorry. It's similar to that in that. Oh, yeah. So what is this long? Here's the thing.

This is a game of telephone. This is a game of telephone. Someone told someone who told me that someone told them that someone told them that they did Ozempic. And the OZempic made their vagina go long. Can we? Yeah. What does that mean?

Top to bottom? So when Sid was saying this, it was actually during Smosh the sitcom. Yes. At first, when Olivia and I were talking about it, both of us were like, now does that mean go long? Like football? Like pop-hop? Yes. Like if your vagina's like starting a play, it's like ready to catch the ball?

Or does it mean like cervix or labia? I was like, is your interior of your vagina getting long like tenting? You know, you bitch is like tenting? I don't know what that is. I don't fuck with tenting. You don't fuck with tenting. What's this? I don't know what it is.

Oh my God. Okay, can we look up tenting real quick? Oof. Okay, so tenting is, okay. Yeah, okay. Look up like tenting. Vagina. Oh. Something wonderful to Google out your work.

It's so good. Yeah, so good that we're doing all this on the work. You know how your dick gets bigger when you're horny? I do know that. So, okay. Okay. It gets longer. So you've gotten harney. So, okay.

I've been harney. With Lyquod. Not only experimented with Ozmpic at one party, but he's gotten horny. I've gotten hearty before. Let's take another drink to that. Yeah. To getting horny.

How attracted to me are you guys right now on a scale from one to ten? At least nine. Oh my God, you don't need any more of that. I'm attracted. I think both of you are really attractive people, but I don't know if I'm actively attracted to either of you at this moment. Okay, fuck you. I've only drank about half of this.

It's literally. You guys, it tastes like salt. I'm going to be the horniest one by the end of this because I can't, I don't mind it. It tastes like like, come on this, boat and you're like, okay, yeah, like, oh, this is a fun little tropical party. And then, like, instantly you're in a white room. And you're wearing a morph suit. That's what kind of what it feels like. It like a trick. It shifts all of a sudden. A big mental trick. What is tenting? Oh, tenting? Yes. Okay. It's just that it's just when your vagina goes long. Okay, got it.

It's when you get turned on and then your vagina expands to go like, let me fit a big dick in here. I don't know. Whoa. So then. And that's up and down, not in and out. Up and down. I think it's up and down. I think it's... Well, I think it... Oh, maybe... It's like... Look, it's all kinds of shit, actually. I'm not gonna talk...

That looks interior. Yeah, it's completely interior. So that's why I was wondering. I was like, does it make you like... It's all interior and it basically just means like... The fact that we have a whole like medical thing on the camera right now. You're ready, you're biologically even more ready to take dick if you want to. Okay.

Okay. So... Yeah, I don't know. I think, um, I think that what they meant was your lady... Your lady... That's long because it loses all the facts long. content and then the skin is left over such as when you age and that goes out of your face, which apparently mine will never fucking do. No matter how much I go like this, I'm going to stop,

I'm going to stop, I'm going to stop. We're stopping. Here's what we're going to do, you guys. We are introducing a new segment that's so fun. We figure our podcast, not a lot of podcasts have this, but our podcast needs it. It's invasive. It's an invasive species. It's an invasive. Watch this. No Oh If you've seen the podcast before You know that we can bring Discomfort to all

Yes It's one of our special skills We were given by God We're very good at it Both of you Something we really think our podcast needs Is a safe word Music

Cut the music You can pick your safe word For this podcast episode And then decide what it is And tell us why And also like And why it makes you feel so safe And also like

When you decide to do it Which you might It just means stop. It just means the whole podcast is over and the whole podcast is done. And we can leave. Okay. Okay. Because I guess I'm a bad guy.

Think of it as like the golden snitch of a podcast. And we're going to grab it and it's over. And we're going to react like really defensively. Awful. Awful. We don't want. Okay. Boundary set with us.

Okay. So what's your safe word? I'm feeling like I'm about to perform sexually. I think it's a phrase. Okay. I can. And you feel safe when you say that. Yeah, because it's a rarity for me.

It's a rarity to say that. To say that full sentence. But it feels nice when I say it. Say it one more time? I feel like I'm about to perform sexually. I feel like I'm about to perform sexually. Yeah, because of this powder. Yeah.

And I'll drink for that. No, God damn it. I love it so much. Oh, Jesus. Oh, you guys, we're going to be so harney. What flavor? Do we know what flavor it was at? Cloudy.

You got some liquid on your tea. toss. I spilled sex liquid down my teatots. Down my teatots. Help me. Help me. I'm stuck. Oh, no, this drink is making me so stuck. Also, I just wanted you guys to know, if you did want to buy any of this from me and sell it, you can make a lot of commission. Oh, this is a pyramid. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good. Hey, girl bosses. Hey, girl bosses. I have some great liquid. It's perfect for your sex. Jesus. Hey, hey. You, host a show, okay? You host one of our favorite podcasts in the entire world. Yeah. And that's the only podcast in the entire world. What is this? This is nothing. This is nothing. This is fucking bullshit. No. This is wonderful. Okay. So you host an incredible podcast. Thank you very much.

Called serving. I do. We love it so much. We were in fact on it. You in fact were. Can you believe it? It's probably my favorite episode. I will say no. Yes. Something you did in that episode that made me really impressed was you brought us cursed children's cartoon characters that we can know of. And that's just real, that's not even leading into a segment. That's just, I'm got to say thank you for that. Because now sometimes I think about Dirt Girl from Dirt Girl from Dirt Girl. Or the floating face. I know. The Mully Grub's face. By the way, it's, it's Dirt Girl World is the show. I didn't do all my research. You know, I will say Dirt Girl from Dirt Girl is better. I will say Dirt Girl from the area. I'm going to change it. Great. And I believe you. And I'm done.

Okay, and I believe women. So I believe women. But in honor of your podcast, and if you haven't seen Tommy's podcast, first of all, what the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fucking goddamn fuck is wrong. Go watch.

Also, it's really fun. Thank you. There's a lot of fun bits and segments, but the main concept is, do you want to explain it? Because it's your podcast. Yeah, sure. I've been talking about it.

No, you haven't. So my show is called serving cuck. But because I do everything to get around the YouTube algorithm, you can just search serving with an exclamation point, and then Tomi. Bones, which is my handle and shit. But anyway, me and a guest or two guests, which

you were the first duo that I've had on the show. We were the first threesome. Because I was like... You've ever had. I know. I'll drink to that. Oh, God. I'm drinking this without being told to. I can tell. You're often the prompter of this. Oh, Jesus.

No, I'm trying to try and desperately to get horny right now. When it turns salty? It's salty at the end, yeah. It's so bad. I don't have you guys tending yet? I'm tending me. I mean, I might be. Okay, so I might be expanding internal.

You're talking about your podcast. I'm so excited for the fluid to come out of me to be just like this. Hey, whoa. Okay. Oh, sorry. Whoa. Every straight white man would love what I just said. Whoa.

I'm, I'll keep tending. You know me. I'm a straight white man apologist and I stand by that. I said, I'll keep tenting. while you keep talking about your podcast. That sentence is like a white man's... That's your safety sense. A three white man's fantasy.

Although they wouldn't know what tenting is because they're just jamming it in there. That's so fair. Okay, this is actually, I take back everything I've ever said. And this is not about all men. Guys, let's make it really clear. Stop crying.

You don't have to cry. It's thought about how bad. Okay, sorry, tell me about your podcast. Oh, my God. This is a game called how many times can we say, tell us about your podcast, then interrupt you while you do? We can do this for an hour and a half.

That's great. It's called serving k-kitt. Basically, me and friend look at pictures of stuff and decide whether or not that image is serving and serving kitt is an idea. It's a mindset. It's undefined. And so the point of the show is just to figure out what that is per each person. Sid, hey, guess what?

I have really huge news. What is it? Seatkeek is doing some stuff and we've got to talk about it. That's insane. Yeah, I have been trying one of my goals is to escape the house. Yeah. We got to escape the house. house this year. Gotta escape a lot of houses. Right. You've been trying to get out of the house this

year. Me too. Oh my god. You made it human. And there are actually a lot of concerts and events we can go to. Estivals, sporting events. Excuses to leave the house. Excuses to run, run away from your house. And we can get those tickets using seat geek. Seat Geek will help you get tickets to places earlier, better tickets. Use the code Talk 10 to get 10% off any ticket to any show. Also, they rate the tickets from green to red. Yeah, meaning good, red meaning bad. Duh, you've seen traffic lights. And it can be for sports, for concerts, for festivals, you name it.

There are so many- Harpenter, go see Billy Eilish. There are so many cool artists going on tour this year, go to Seat Geek, put in the code Talk 10, and then go see a bunch show. And maybe we'll see you at the show, because we're trying to get out of the house. Before your podcast, we had to tell you if things were .

Now we're gonna flip it on you. No, you're not. Yeah, we are. You have a couple things are. And the thing about it is, we wanted to differentiate it from your podcast, obviously, because otherwise we're just stealing your idea. Which we are. Which we are.

But for a short period of time, in your podcast, you have categories. Yes, well, to gories. You have categories, of course, which is way better. But for this, we figured there's no category. Yeah, you've got the category. Just straight up pictures. These are just a bunch of random images we found on the internet. Great.

They have nothing to do with anything. Okay. I can do that. All right. I can do that. There's a random assortment of images. And let's see if they're cuck. Okay.

And first. Oh, dear. It's Jantz from Smosh. Oh, wait. Is that your co-worker? Yeah. That's one of my coworkers. That's so weird.

But we just looked up good images. Yeah. And Google image just took you right here. Just Google image searched good images and this was the first thing that came up. Interesting. What are your thoughts on this thing? Okay, so I'm really into the mouth shape here. It's a little forward, a little open.

It's pouting. It's, well, it's pouting. It's also like, it looks like a mid-cough, perhaps. I don't know. I'm feeling good about the overall shape and essence, but I'm going to say not serving. Okay. Not serving cuck. Yeah, I'm going to say not serving cuck.

The next completely unrelated picture. Oh, what'd you search on Google for this one? We searched random images. Fun random images. She searched fun random images. I searched random images. This just came up. First one.

Oh, that's great. Okay. Well, this is Amanda, another coworker and friend of mine. Oh, weird. Yeah, that's so weird that they both, that they're all on this one thing. I think she's absolutely serving kibn here. I love the intensity. I feel like she could be more intense.

I say it's a light, it's like, yeah. Yeah, the outfit is... The outfit is... The vibe is very chill. The vibe is very chill. And you can tell because of the index finger and second finger as well. Which represents world peace.

World peace. Yeah, it's not very... Not... Great, but not... It's very, like, middle schooler on Tumblr. And that's like a really kind vibe. Not as much of... Were you middle schoolers on Tumblr?

No, I wasn't cool enough. Middle schooler on Webkins. Yes, me too. Me too. Okay. So I don't know what that says. I think that you're younger than me. We're going to get some comments and say something very specific about what it says.

Okay. Yeah. Just wait for that clarification. That'll be good. We're not beating the allegations. Next image. Oh, so did you search smallest image? We searched smallest image on Earth.

Oh, I looked up smallest image to make your vagina tent. Okay, good. Smallest tenting content. Tenting inspo, parenthesis, small. Perentacy small. Yeah. What is this? What do you see in this image?

And do you feel? feel like your vagina is tending? I think my vagina is small. Right. Because of this. Not tenting. Well, it could be tenting, but like in, in relativity to how small it is. It's not over tenting.

It's not over tenting. No, no, no. I have a below tent. Below tent. But not no tent at all. But not no tent at all. Oh, below average tent. You're batting?

I'm batting. Check my cave. I'm batting. Check my cave. I'm batting. Okay, are we Nikki Minaj and Nikki Minaj and Nikki Minaj? I'm not. I've just been drinking this and being silent. So, Nicky Minaj.

That's right. You're menaging over here. You're literally menaging over here and drinking your sexual performance. Swashing around. Okay, I'll drink to that. Okay. It's just splashing out. God, this is a nightmare every time. Now, remember you have that safe word.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I have a question. When you get to the bottom of it. Oh. It's sandy. I don't know, but this kind of, you're already at the bottom? is so sand. You're at the bottom. The bottom is sand. I still have a good six ounces in here. So just swish it around and that's good to do in a red solo cup because it flies up top.

Right, right, right. We'll do it like a tasting afterward, like a wine tasting, but of sexual performance powder. Yeah. Okay. Now spinning it out, Spencer. This guy, this to me reads like an animated raccoon in like a Pixar film who is like... Is he the villain? He's the one who tells you all the secrets about the hard fence. He's like a neutral, a neutral character. He's like the classic harbinger of the fence. Yes.

So does the harbinger of the fence serve? I'm going to say no. However, in my mind, there's no body and the hand is just like attached to the hat. And that's all we know really. So I would like if he was just like a head with a hat and a hand that's on that hat. Yanky-Doodle put a hand on his hat and called it. Yes. So I'm going to say serving for this one, but that's only because my imagination is

instead of filling in the rest of the picture, not doing that. I think that's great. Based on your take on this, I think this is... Based on your take... Based on your take on this, I think this is someone in the haunted mansion ride at Disneyland.

Absolutely. And that kind of serves... Absolutely. A statue or a patron. No, when the woman in the bowl, the fish bowl, upside-down fish bowl, and she's like, I've got a riddle. Like when they're taking her back to...

brush her teeth. Right. They plop this little head on there. He's just rolling around going, look at my head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. Okay. Next image. Oh, no. Is this serving?

God. What did we look up for this, Sid? I looked up. I looked up porn. You looked at porn? I looked at porn. Google images. Dude.

First off, you get some sick images. I've never done this before. Yep. Yep. I looked up. the thing I see in my nightmares. It seems to be a little boy with a feather in its cap. What's the mat, what's the tube?

Can we talk? Drinking from the tube. What is the tube? Is it bagpipes? No, I think it's not bagpipes considering there's no bagpipes, but I think there is a tube. Oh, so just a tube, good. Okay, and a cape. Long kazoo.

This is very Renfair. This is like a kazoo took Ozempic, so now it's long. I was going to say, did the ozempic made the tube long? Yeah, the tube went long. that she went long. Yeah. I mean, obviously this thing is calling a bunch of rats. Yeah, it's obviously giving Pied Piper.

Yeah. Absolutely. And... Yeah, I'd say not serving cucket at all. Okay, okay, absolutely. Yeah. And is that for the outfit or for the actions of taking all of the children in the city into his cave with his magic flute?

All of the above, I think. I think it's a combination thing. Okay. To me, I think taking the children into the cave with your magic flute is so because it's like going. against the grain. It's brat, for sure. It's going against society. Do you think it's more brat or crap? I think it's more bat.

Oh, because cave. Cave. Because of cave. God, that's such a good point. Okay, do we have another image? Yeah, I think we do. What's this? What's this? What's this? I felt the same, that was my reaction to. What's this? What's this? What is this? This is like you typed into AI, show me a picture of Damien Haas. This is, this is Damien before he got bit by the vampire. Yeah. This is slightly, the most

Trad Damien you're ever here. Yeah, truly. What's so interesting is like there's still like a piece of him that's this guy. Like down, down in his soul. Yeah, deep down. You should make it your personal goal to dig it up. To do that. Okay. Yeah.

I think this is like Damien playing Troy Bolton. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. That's exactly what it is. And he looks like 19. Yeah. Do you think he's actually leaning a gupe?

No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay because it's just what the drink is making you do. Yeah. You're tenting so hard at this image. It's just you're tending because of the drink. Sometimes I can't talk. Oh, my actual God.

What happened? A clump of sand. Oh, and how is that? And doesn't make you feel harney. No. It's done. I'm done with mine. I'm harney as fuck.

Clump of sand, tenting. Don't show me any more images. Clump of sand, no liquid in there. There was no liquid at the bottom. What was it? Did you have to chew? No, I just got it back. Okay.

I'm not looking forward to when that happens. And just get it out of the way. Yie. Is this. Um, I'd say, I'd say no. I'd say no. I wish he was like truly,

because I can tell the fence isn't warping at all, so I don't think he's actually leaning against it. I think he's just kind of like pretending to. I think it's AI. Yeah, I think this is AI. I'd love to see some scratches. I'd love to see some, you know.

Like on his body? Yeah, from leaning against this fence. Or if it was like an electric fence and so like he was a little pained in the eyes. Scratches. Do you not like Damien? I adore Damien. I love Damien.

What's your take? Do you not like Damien? You're not like Damien sounds like you don't like him. From what I could tell in this podcast, Tommy doesn't like DM? Here's my question, I guess, is that our scratch is crap, are they both? If I'm bruise-free, scratch-free, am I less c-uh? What?

I think it depends on what the bruise and the scratch is. Right. Because it's like we go from one C-word to another to concern. And I don't want to be concerned. So if they're here. It's not concern. It's not a concern. That's the reaction.

That's it. Okay, what is it like if you have like a little red birthmark on your chest from when the blood stopped in your veins when you're a baby? Is that? I think that's brat. Are you trying to reveal it right now? Oh. Oh. It's a little, Sid.

Oh, it's so tiny. Yeah, it used to be dark when I was young and then it got lighter as I turned 30. Oh, congrats. And I can attest to that. I've known you for half my life. Yeah. It was darker and then it got lighter, but it's basically the blood stopped in my veins. And everyone was like, okay, queen, f***.

Yeah. In the permanent day. Yeah. They were like, okay. I have one empty birth mark, but it's fading. Oh. It's right up here. It'll probably fade more as you turn 30.

I know. I'm sure it will. Oh, God. And then I have like a cute little like right on my thigh like, oh, I got a little Marilyn Monroe marker right here. Is it just like a little brown circle? Yeah, and it's not raised. It's just. Oh.

It's a freckle. It's a cute freckle and it's going away. Does a freckle count as a birth mark? Wait, this is such a good question. And is a freckle? How big? is a freckle I think this has been on the screen

I know it's actually a lot Another picture Yeah Okay, what is this kind? It's so small Okay, this also showed up on the small Google search This was the second image on

So okay we said there was no through line With these images Two of them are small Two of them are small That's the through line That's the through line This is awesome Okay

The only reason it's all This is so Ian Because his head's covering up The stuff So it just says fucking Yeah Behind him And that's so how he rolls

Yeah I think it's so kind of display both of your thumbs like that. And they're both kind of bending backwards, which is a little brat. Okay, show me your thumbs because some people have bent backwards thumbs up and some people don't. Whoa, yours is really bent back. Your bend back. I got bent backwards. I mean, mine are straight.

Whoa. Oh, okay, that's so. Oh, no. Oh, no, your allegations are out. Oh, no. It's time to music. You're fucking canceled. Oh, no.

I can't believe you would say straight as normal. I can't believe. I just, I just, that was a setup. I will be honest, that was a setup. And I got you. You did it. Do you guys want,

No. No, Jesus. Should I? Oh, wow. Okay, what do you think about this? I'm going to say serving. Discuss. Yeah, I think so.

I like the thumbs. I like that they're like bent backwards. It's important to brush all your hair in one direction. Absolutely. Also, his head looks like when I cut up my ears after months of not doing it. Whoa. That's exciting. It looks exactly like that.

It looks exactly like that. Yeah. The YouTube does that to me too. Two little of them. I'm like, yeah. Beautiful. I love it. I love him.

I love it. I love him. Get it off my screen. Oh. Is this image serving? I'm just wiping my glasses so I can see my, my hell better. Oh, you really hate this? So this is your favorite image so far.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Um. God, damn. I will say if I saw him at a frat party, I would trust him with my drink. I think that's a mistake. I was going to say, I wouldn't trust anyone at a frat party with my drink, but I have been roofied. And I know that about you. Yeah, I really told you that.

And I was so drunk. And I was like, can you make me more drinks? I got roofied. And I was like, uh-huh. What was this? The wedding party thing. Oh, yeah. It was awesome.

No, I think for some reason, maybe it's just the like yellow. bracelet band. Wasn't that like the Armstrong thing that was like Is it that or is it a coily hair tie? A coily hair tie? Like you know those hair ties that are made of

plastic coils? Either way, ally. That's so true. That's true. Because if it's a hair tie then he's just keeping that on just in case somebody needs a coily hair tie, presumably a woman. Wow. You would help. Or a long haired person. Or a long haired person You're uncanceled.

You're uncanceled. Do you know that that's on the list. I'm canceled, you're uncanceled. That's on the list of words that Trump banned is a long-haired person. You're fucking. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But they are all like that.

My God, I really thought you were serious. I mean, the word men is on the list. Yeah, the word belong is on the list. And then also on top of that, men having sex with men is on the list, which is really funny because I think they should have gone further. We think they should have been like men-rimming men while I watch is off the list. My God. Men, doming men and subbing for women is off.

And what's this list of? Banned things to say? In government states. It's terms that federal agents have submitted a bunch of terms that shouldn't be used in government memo. But some of the words, some of them are just like. We just got. What was that? We just got completely annihilated by a surprise.

We just got bamboozled. What the heck? Did you send that image? No. Oh, because I didn't. All of us were shocked by that image. I was wondering. Wow.

No, but yeah, like the word belong is on the list, the word status, just words you'd use in a sentence. Oh, Jesus. It's just regular words. But then also like, why is the government going, man fucking man in my bed while I cry? In a government memo? I don't know. I don't know. But I would like to avoid.

I would like to know their personal. like to know. And I'd like to know their safe word. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not. Okay. Not. I think not. Okay. Okay. Um, I think that concludes that segment. Music. Cut the music. Okay. Um, are we just going to keep the picture of Damien on? Yeah, let's just keep that picture of Damien on. Keep us, uh, keep us comfortable.

Okay. Yeah, that's great. Let's keep us comfortable with this picture of Damien. And in order to get really comfortable, let's take another sip of this. Oh, do you need, do you want, Do you want more? Watch this, you guys go. I mean, I would have more. Oh, no, it all came out. Yeah. I'm sorry, I thought there was nothing left, and I was going to do it as like a cool thing.

Did you taste the sand? No, I just tasted it again. Do you want a sip? Are you trying to get me horny? No. No. No, I swear. No, no.

Please, no. You're trying to get me horny while you don't need any help. I'm just being nice because you were out of yours. Sure. Right. We are supposed to be on the same. We're supposed to try to cancel him. You're uncanceled, though, now.

Okay, cool. Okay, really quickly. Okay. I do want to make this quick. I'm going to make this really quick and then we can go. I really did want to say, Olivia and I have been saying we really want to do a podcast. And maybe actually, unfortunately, maybe it is this podcast.

I mean, you are doing a podcast. Right, but we have, we have. Okay, really quickly, Olivia and I want to do a podcast. We have an idea for a podcast where we bring on people who deserve to have their time waste. and then we waste their time for like an hour or two hours and it's just like us kind of speaking in gibberish and asking them questions that are like riddles that don't make sense.

Yeah, like riddles that you can't solve because there's nothing. Because there's nothing? And it's like RFK Jr. trying to decipher the riddle. And we're just wasting an hour of day. He's like, this fucking freak-ass voice.

What was the riddle we came up? We came up with this riddle. Okay. This is a great nonsense riddle if you want to waste someone's time. I'm going to find an answer for you. I'll find an answer for you. Are you not? glad of your banana yes or no.

And then it also is a song and Sid sings the song beautiful. Are you not glad of your banana? Yes or no. And we were, and that. And we sang it for hours last night. Okay, I couldn't tell what genre the song was because initially I thought it was like a, like a beach boys style thing, but then you threw that vibrato at the end of it. Yes or no.

It's not like a, there's an oldies. Yeah, there's an oldies thing going on there. My plan was to confuse you because I'm wasting your time. Am I not glad of my banana? Here's the worst part. You cannot answer the question that you are glad of your banana because if you say, yes, I am not glad of my banana. Because it says, are you not glad of your banana? Yes or no.

Or you say, no, I'm not glad of my banana. So either way, you are not glad of your banana. If you have to answer yes or no. It's a trick. Do you see how we're wasting your time right now? What if we did that to people who are bad? Wait, a very successful thing. What if we did that to people who are bad?

That's great. You spent hours doing this last night? Hours, wasting our own time. That's wild. Wait a minute. Can we use this? How can we use this power for good? Yeah.

Yeah, we were wasting our own time. Oh, my God. It would be so fun to just like waste Marjorie Taylor G-Dream, Green, Green's, jeans. Green's jeans. Green's, jeans. See, and I would do that. Yeah. I'd do that for an hour.

Yeah. You should ask her if she had green jeans. She would hate it. I'd be like, do you have green jeans? Do you not proud of your end green jeans? Yes or no. And the only problem with it is that no one would. Agree.

Agree. You'd have to trick them. And then I think that's legally bad. Yeah, that's a great. I mean, not like bad, but like it has legal repercussions. Yes. Not like it's bad and I think it's bad, but. But it could be bad.

It has consequences. For sure. We love that. We can fucking dream. Are you a big reality? person? Do you like reality shows? On game day, pain can hit hard and fast, like the headache you get when your favorite team

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of the NFL. Ask your pharmacist at this product's rate for you. Always read and follow the label. It depends on the reality show. Why? That's a great... Look at you on a podcast asking a question. Thanks, guys.

Okay, so everyone knows I love dance moms, but that's because it's more of a documentary of a woman becoming super famous and then like being morally reprehensible and then losing everything and then going to jail and then getting cancer and then being in a wheelchair. Classic.

Classic. Tales oldest time. Yeah. And that's a beautiful thing because that's all on camera. And in an era where it was like there's not a lot of checks on reality TV. Now there's more morals.

So we can't. can't play around anymore. So I guess the biggest thing about reality TV is that it like triggers that part of you that loves a hate watch. Oh, love it. And like there's the part of reality TV where obviously like you hate it and that's why you love it and you also love it. But Sid and I are huge hate watch people.

We love, not like we love to hate things, but it's fun to see something that blows your mind and you go, what actual fuck did I just watch? Absolutely. Essentially you like watching something where you go, I can't believe these people are real. of watching, for example, Game of Thrones. And then you go like, and you, you know, I love watching good narrative content, but I love watching bad narrative content. And I love watching good reality and I love watching bad reality. Is there something you watch strictly because you're like, I hate this?

If you want to think about it, we do have an example to start with. Well, I guess the question is more like, okay, I think I think I get it. What's your example? We have found a new show. It's really good. I need a new show. I just. just finished re-watching the entirety of King of the Hill. It's on the fucking Hallmark Channel. Hallmark Channel historically does the best reality shows. But they have a new one that's really incredible called Small Town Set Up, where parents who are like-

Set Up? Oh, I wish. Like Set up? Yeah, like setting you up for something illegal you did not do. Right. It's where they take parents who are like in their 70s, who live in a small town usually in Georgia, and they have a child who has gone off to the big city, which is either New York or Tampa.

And they've gone off to the big city to become very successful, and they're like a CEO or something. They're doing something impressive there. That is like what they want to do, having a good time with their life as an individual. And their parents are like, not good enough. Come back home. Come back home.

And fall in love with someone in your hometown instead. And they get all of the town to come together and pitch ideas for who this person should come back home to marry. So all the townspeople are like, I have a brother named Joe. You shall marry him and have his children. And it's a musical. Yeah.

And wasn't there like some random guy who no one knows who's just like in the town meeting is like, there was someone. There was an episode where all the townspeople, also their lower third is always townsperson, which I think that's such a great like NPC thing. And it's like when it's like a boy, they're bringing back and meet a girl from your hometown. I think the show is probably closer to what it's intending to be. Yeah, it's a little bit more like a hallmark movie.

But when it's like, let's bring home this woman. Let's bring a successful woman back to her hometown so she can give up her career and marry some guy. Do they do that? Does she do it? Yeah, probably. Because the episodes only end with them being like, I'm going to give this love a chance. Can I say I'm fascinated, and I'm sure this will be my destiny at some point.

Yeah. I'm obsessed with hosts of. of weird little shows. You should do that. Because it's like... You would crush. I'm sure Ashley Williams is incredible. I don't know where she's from.

She's from home. She's from home. And it's just like... Would your dream bad, weird show to host me? Like some fake reality show where like you're the... Where it's like a traitor is and you get to do the... Any level of what Alan Cumming is doing, you know? It's a more fucking thing.

I want a home makeover show where we're ruining your home. Oh, that's so... I want you to come home and... be like, what did you do? And I'm like, we fucked it. We made it bad. We fucked your home up. Do you what, so you want people to send in applications being like, this person deserves to have a bad home? Or is it people saying, I, my home is too clean. I need you to destroy it. My home's walls work. I think we're open to any at all. Anyone who's down or down to. Or wants to get someone else. Do you steal anything? Well, I mean, things are missing. That's what

happens. You know, you're going to come home. Things are going to be gone. This actually kind of goes hand in hand with the podcast we were talking about of wasting someone's time. Yeah. If somebody submits RFK Jr. to get his house made over, you want it to be worse. Right. It's a make under. Extreme home make under. Extreme home make under. Yeah, it's extreme. Because you're releasing snakes into the house. It's so extreme. And the thing about it is it's fucking extreme. It costs so much money to put all that asbestos in the house. It costs so much money. And that's the other thing. It's not free. No.

No. And we're not paying for it. No, they're charging them for the materials and the service. But we're not, yeah, we're not telling them up front. We are Venmo requesting them afterwards. You know how that one car show would always put like a TV in the car? And like, Pimp my ride. Right. You know how, okay, my Pimp my ride? No roof. No roof. Oh my God. Like classic. Roof gone. For most. On cars that are not convertibles. No, on these house that I'm making over. Oh, just on the house. House. That's my classic. Who needs one? Don't need it. I think you get rid of the roof. And while you're at it, get rid of the roof of the minivan? Oh my God. Roofless, a roofless house. A roofless house. When it could be matching with the house. Roofless. Roofless and ruthless.

Ruthless and ruthless. It's a ruthless. Okay, we're menaging too hard. Okay, here's the thing. Are we all horny right now or? Wait. Okay, I'll drink to that. I'm a way.

I don't have to drink to that because no one tried to give me theirs. How much have you guys drank? Can I see? Okay, you've got a little left. Are we about the same? Let me see, let me see, let me see. Let me see. You've had more than me.

Oh my God. Fine. Oh, ah. Did you get the sand? Okay. I feel like she's getting the sand as we see. I just got the sand. It's so fucked up.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm like actually not exaggerating. The sand is really awful. Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that. I knew that was you getting the sand. It tastes like real sand.

This is so bitter. Yeah. Oh my God. I think real sand tastes less better and more like rocks. Oh, God. I want like water. Hey, sand rocks. Hey, sand rocks.

Hey, guys. You asked about like a bad watch? Yeah, yeah. I don't have a show that I bad watch or hate watch because I feel like that was more time than like a movie or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you can get addicted to a show, but a movie's just over. Absolutely. Heard.

But one of my favorite movies that are absolutely awful. and is it a joy to watch. It's called Verotica. Do you know about this? No. It's like Veronica and erotica. There is a Danzig is his name. I don't know if you know him.

He's like a guitarist. Yeah, he's like from The Misfits? Yes. Yeah. So he also makes an illustration thing where he makes comic books that are like, it's called Verodica. And it's like, like, you know, women and like horror. It's like horror, sexy.

Yes. and it's awful. Misfits Erotica. They made a movie where he, I believe, wrote, directed and did the music for it. So we're rooming over here. We're getting close to the room. And I think if, yeah. Oh, no.

Yeah. And so. Something about Veratica, the movie. There's a few things that make it incredible. It is in an anthology. There are three stories. In one movie. Almost all of the actors in this movie are ex-porn stars or current porn stars.

Perfect. So the acting level is very, is very amazing and unique. It's specific to something we've seen before, just not in this format. Exactly. And don't we love that? Right. And so in the first chapter, this woman gets bit by a spider. The spider has a human head on it.

Right. And the spider turns into a man. But this is right after her boobs, which have eyeballs instead of nipples cry. Right. Was that thing she had going on pre-spider? The eyeballs were there pre-spider, but then she got bit by the spider and because of the... And then, yeah, and then so then he's...

And she's like, I'm a freak. And so she's like... And there's another one where there's like... Maybe every day. Hey, my freak. You know when you're just like, hi, I'm a freak? In the second one, there's a face snatcher.

Like, there's like a serial killer that snatches people of faces. Yeah. And then like, there's just this incredible shot of this woman who's like got the most filler like you've ever seen. And she's like, and she's like lit. And she goes, no, not my face. It's incredible. And then the best part is, and this is what makes it like really, really worthwhile is usually when you're on set and you're filming something, especially like a scene that's maybe dramatic. Right.

You don't, it's not like the line stop and you immediately call cut. Let them, you let it breathe for a second. Just for the edit. In the edit, they removed none of this space. So every scene ends with like, I have to go. But every scene, every scene has that like. He didn't just go like, okay, great, cut there. They went like, oh, yeah, we got to keep it.

I think the editor was just like, I'm going to keep all of this, actually. And there were moments. Long, long, moments. Long moments. That editor just like has conversations like that in real life. Yeah, my art's kind of crazy. I just like leaving everything in from set. Oh, my God.

I'm leaving like action, cut. Oh, my God. So that's the spider guy. There's the lady with the filler. I wouldn't say it's a favorite. Okay, so yeah. That's the face snatcher. She's going to take her face.

There's this woman. She's the face snatcher. Sorry to give it away. Oh, no. Now I know who the face snatcher is. Who's that? That's the spider guy. That's the spider guy

Absolutely bonkers I would agree with And this is not porn It's not porn See that's an awesome shot Oh maybe I'm just funny because it a dwinksy Yeah he's probably that you're tempting Okay she serves so much

In this one Yeah she already is right now She kind of reminds me of Glenn Close in some ways Like a young Glenn Close Oh absolutely This one entire thing is just like Kill her and give me her blood And then she just bathes in the blood

She's like I'm young forever It's really bad. Yeah, that's straightforward. Anyway. Well, I'm going to... Well, we got to watch that. I'm going to watch that. I'm going to watch that probably alone.

That's my recommendation. You want to watch that together? I'll probably watch that one alone. Sid and I'll probably go home, watch that together. I'll watch it alone. I think I'm just going to watch that one. I think you two can figure out. I'm down to watch it together.

I don't know why you should. Okay? Okay. All right. Well, next segment. Next segment, see watches it alone. That's my bad. That's my hate watch.

That's beautiful. Just the sand part. Just a little bit of more of my sex juice. Are you done with yours? Yeah, I'm done with mine. Which means, are you not done with yours? No.

Which means that the next sip is probably the sand. Right. Oh my God. Here's a segment called Tommy drinks the sand. Music. Okay. Stop music. Can you at least like height me up for this and like like prep me?

Sand. Sand. Sand. Sand. Sand. Sand. Sand. Wait. Tent. Tent. Tent. Tent. Tent. Tent. Tent. Ten, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand, sand. Yeah. Do you. Yeah, isn't it crazy? Isn't it bad?

God. Isn't it so bad? God. Yeah, that was the sand. It's awesome. The sand is the texture of like, like hard powdered sugar. Yes. I expected it to be like thicker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's grainy. It's very grainy. We're de-influencing today. Yeah, today we're de-influencing, but we're not going to say the brand name because we don't remember. Yeah, and that's what a real de-influencer does.

They don't remember the brand name of anything. No. I don't know. I don't remember how I got here. How unsafe are you feeling right now a scale of 1 to 10? I feel pretty safe. Oh, my God, I love that. What if I just said 10?

Well, then you would have to say your safe word. But maybe 10 is safe for me. Yeah, that's true. You can't ask that question without saying what's 1 and what's 10. Yeah. Sorry, guys. How sorry are you from one to ten? I'm one.

Oh, no. We don't know what that means. I don't know. Okay. How do you not play with this the whole time? I kind of do, honestly. Also, I was just admiring your shoe. Which is not what you do, but I've also just been going like this with my hand.

Do you want to ask your question? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. I'm getting proposed to, aren't I? Yeah. Here's a segment I do on this podcast.

called What's Wrong with Olivia? Play music! And we're done with the music. Oh, yeah. So I'm getting comprehensive... Whoa. So I am getting comprehensive assessment. Just to check on out what's going on up here. I have done all my testing, but I have to wait until tax day to hear back. Oh, boy. That's a loaded day. Because it's hard in this country to get care and everyone's over booked them. I hope they're doing well. But based on just your knowledge of me at all, do you want to bet five bucks and put your... Absolutely. Absolutely.

Put them in the hat. So I can guess on however many I think. You split up your $5 however you want to split it off. $5 however you want to split it off. Okay. I'm going to put... I'm going to put... Okay.

So I'm also going to put a dollar on no OCD. Okay. I'm going to put a dollar on no OCD. No CD. This is a first. I know. I'm going to put... $3 on general anxiety.

Okay. Like generalized broad anxiety. Yep, yep, yep. And I'm going to put $1 on being too badass. Oh my gosh. Wow. I feel like this morning, first off, thank you so much. I really appreciate that.

You're welcome. Second, I want to make a chart now. This morning I had the thought of like, oh, I got to make a chart with what everyone's voted. I don't know if that's a hint. Yeah, might be. Make a chart. I make the chart. But yeah, I got to go make a chart.

And all the answers people have given that aren't diagnosed. also belong on the chart. Right. Of course. So, of course. How many people have you done this with? Every guest. I think, like, at this point, it's 10, because also, like, multiple of you guys have guessed. Oh, yeah, true. I did watch that episode where we had some chime ins over here as well. Everyone's welcome to guests. Some chime ins from the peanut gallery. Everyone's welcome to chime. The phrase peanut gallery is so diminishing to me. Here's a better version of peanut gallery that I found yesterday. What is it called?

Ahoi-a-hoi-mo-hoi-h-mi-noi. Excuse me? Aho-piloi. Hoy-Poloy. Hoi-Poloy. I was reading a book and somebody said, hoi-polloy, and I was like, what the fuck, oi-hoi-minoi?

Yeah, so what you're thinking, what you're thinking, is dutel-bub. Yeah, doodle-Baw. Oi-hoi-minoi, which is doodob. Right. But doodle-bob, talking to the peanut gallery might say, Ooi-M-M-I-Hi-Ploi. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Yeah. What is it again, asked? Hoy-Ploi-Ploi. Ooi-polloy. Oi-hoi-mi-oi-ho-min-oi. And that's my safe word. Yeah. Oi-hoi-i-i-po-loi.

Okay, hi, Lorne Michaels. I would love to audition. This is a character I do called me during sex. Me during sex, also known as doodle bob talking to the peanut gallery. Morn. It goes like this. Oi-hoi-hoi-po-loi. I think I'm booked.

Yeah, I think you're booked. I think I booked. That can be my safe word because that's the only thing I do during sex. Yeah, of course. We can't. That's actually how we came up with the banana. song at first, which is, it's what you sing during sex. You go, are you not glad at your banana? Yes or no. And then the person having sex with you goes like, oh no, I came too oily.

Yeah. Oilly. I'm so sorry, you guys. I really just brought this right down to the gutter. Here's my question. Speaking of the gutter. Really quick, I want to just apologize to my parents, generally. Is Lauren with them? Generally. They brought Lauren into watch. They might be hanging. Are they with Lorne? They were they with Lorne down. My dad doing his audition, I'm going to be doing doodle bob. It's a hand-me-down audition.

Yeah. Well, you know, great hellers think alike. They're with Lorne. They're with Lorne. Where's everyone on a scale? Because we drank all these things to try to get attracted to each other. So we could hopefully continue falling romantically in love as a grumble. Where's everyone on a how attracted they are to each other level?

and where's everyone on a tenting level. One to ten, I don't, I'm not going to tell you what one is or what ten is. Okay. Okay. I feel like if we all put in the work and went to some therapy and like figured it out, I think this could be a great threple.

Okay. Yeah. And so I think my mind attraction is there. Yeah. And I think I can get there physically. Yeah. That's a very, listen, that's a very relatable thing for a woman to say. So do you want to try?

I'm open to it. I'm open to it. I've spent many, I've dated many people for a very long time when I didn't, and I shouldn't have. Yeah, of course. So I'm very good at just like separating the mind and body. Yeah. You know, so like. Very severance.

Very severance. Okay. You're my lumen. You're my lumen. You see this being a thruple. I can see this being a thruple. I agree that we won't touch. I agree we have to put in work.

I think that I can chug six or seven of these a day and maybe get sexual. I'm not going to say it would be my number one thing that would cause me to tent, but I can make it work especially if we're doing any type of therapy and especially if we have a trial period set in stone. Okay. How long's your trial period? Month or two? A month or two years, four years, five years, six years, seven years. I can probably do about 10 years of trial.

Yeah, we'll do 10 years trial run. Okay, great. Okay, so I guess we're a thruple now. That's great. Here's my, oh, I didn't, how attracted are you? I already asked. Guys, we're a thruple now. Where can people find you if they wanted to find where you live?

Well, if you want to find me, you could, you know, you could use satellite imagery. I feel like that's probably good. And if they were to follow you on the internet, wherever they go. It would be at Tommy Bones. And I have a question. Yeah. Is your head hot because of this? Yeah.

I actually feel very lightheaded. So, no, that's what I mean. I feel like all the blood's up here. My mustache is sweating. Right. I would expect the blood to have gone. down to my tent. Maybe that one of I said, I can feel in my head.

I can picture it. Picture us being a threple in my head. I can get myself there mentally because the sex juice went right to my mental. Yeah, right to your mental. Okay, so my mental temples are turned the fuck on. I'm mental tenting. I'm mental tenting. I'm mental tenting.

That's where we end the episode. Free Tream!