Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Our FILTHIEST Episode With Filth Queen Steph Tolev!

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

This week is comedian and actress Steph Tolev on the big bad podcast for you! If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/SO Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://SHOPIFY.COM/sydandliv Go to https://HelloFresh.com/talk10fm to Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon & Fourthwall! https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia https://sydandolivia-shop.fourthwall.com/ Chapters: Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wow, you never actually think about the fact that during the big one, everyone's will be shaking like crazy. So true. And that's what people are thinking about it. And that's what the media won't tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't tell you. There are people who are like, I can't wait for the big one.

Just imagine how crazy these t-s will be shaking. I'm going to run outside. So you got Kaibela. I've gone Kaibela and I'm doing the coolest golf right now. Okay. And you're over here saying it didn't fucking work for you because you did one little suction cup. Yeah. And how many shots did you do?

I think I did it twice. How many shots every time? I don't remember. How much it cost? I don't remember. What were you talking about? It was a long time ago. It was 2022.

But I can show you what it looked like and you can tell me how many. I think I also did mine around 2022. I did it. I remember why I did it. I did it because I was watching. We were editing because of the podcast. And I saw myself being a normal human being. Yeah.

Sometimes normal human being. Just like a normal. Yep. And I went like, oh, I'm gross. I need to get injected in my neck. Yeah. And then I got it and I, and it looks like this. I'll show it. I'm going to send it to pass. How old are you that you did this when you did this? She was way too young to when it's done. Okay, wait, it's 2022. So I was, how old was I in 22? Well, you were born in 95. So how old was I? Okay. That's not okay. That makes sense. But I. Well, no, that's easier to feel like really bad about your body. Sure. She should like start getting more societal messaging that's like, okay, late 20s. Yes. Right after.

what happened. This is me at an in and out because when I got it done and and this is what I looked like, I went, might as well go to in and out. And then I went to in and out. And then everyone looked at me like, yeah, make sense. Makes sense. You're like that. You probably got that looks like two or three shots because

my chin was like dragging down. I spent $9,000 $9,000. Oh, I did not. Okay. So that's why I asked the price. Okay, okay. I went in. I had like five shots the first time, then four then four again. Because I had like that's what mine looked like normally. before getting done.

I actually, I had a mild drinking problem and I was, uh, I have one of those. Swelled up. Get ready, stop. Otherwise it's gonna be your fucking face. You get real swollen. Yeah. And it wasn't going away.

I lost weight everywhere else but my chin. And I was like, it's got to go. Because it was embarrassing. And as a stand-up comic, for some reason, every male photographer likes to be on their fucking. They love that. No, no woman, no comic. No one in their life has been like,

I like, I like, I like, me. So there was, so true. There was these five photos in a row where I lost my fucking mind, and I was like, I'm getting it done. And so during COVID, I got done. That's a smart time to get it done too during COVID, because then you're, yeah. But then the cool sculpting, you're like,

it didn't work, I done once. Yeah. I just spent, I was quartered at 14, okay, but I got recognized, so we got a big discount. Wow. The first time in my life, I'm like, excuse me. My Instagram clips are paying off. That's everything.

That is so good. I'm pumped up, but it's fucking, I went to this girl who, porn started did my podcast and she had like super flat stomach and I'm like

what the fuck are you doing yeah she goes nothing cool sculpting and I'm like give me this lady it's in Hermosa Beach I are

I can show you before and afters it's already it's already working wow wow I'm going like I'm talking like

I do eight session cups every time wow wow yeah I did it one time once again like and I think that's also

a trap that like people who are in their mid to late 20s who are more online than they need to be fall into of like, well, I don't have enough money to actually do this in a way that it's going to work.

Yes. But I do have enough money to do it once and have it not work. Yeah. And then complain about it. You're the people that one woman who gave cool something such a bad name. Yeah. I can't remember some like huge celebrity, like made some big scene, something happened. Or what's your, I don't know her fucking name.

Oh, you know what you're talking about. Yeah. Someone got like a hardened moment or something. Apparently there's like one in like a million that happens to. Yeah. But they said that because I asked like what happens like what's the worst thing. As long as they don't say death, I'm like, shoot me up. Yeah.

But they're like, they're like. you can get this hardened thing, but we pay for the lightball. I go, then suck it out. I don't care. You get the hard. It's not going to be there. But the weirdest thing is like,

I'm like pissing and shitting it out. Wow. Because they freeze the fat cells and they die inside your body. Yeah. And then that's how you pass them. How do you know that it's that your piss is not normal piss and it's your cool sculpting pissing piss? I'm pissing and shitting every five fucking seconds. Yeah.

I think the, I think the science is the way it comes out is piss and shit. Oh, really? So any piss and shit is going to be a cool sculpting person shit. Is that right? I'm taking logs at 4 a.m. Oh, which is not normal.

No, but that's everything. Unless that's normal for you guys. No, no, no, no. I'm not getting woken about a log coming in my ass. I will say I shit constantly. So do I, but like not like this. But no, I believe you. I believe that like whatever level you normally shit that this is above and beyond.

Yes, yeah. This is fascinating. Yeah. It is. It's fun, but it's fucking working. Yeah. If you get done right, it works. That's good.

So if you guys want to do it the way I did, you can get a cool scoff thing. You can panic when you're, you don't. You don't. you don't need it because you shut the fuck up. And then you can get it on your arms and then you can have numb arms for three months and then nothing happens.

And one cool thing that happens is you lose like $1,000. Yeah. Also, it is a sick thing because I'm like, it came from me also watching myself online all time. Yeah. It's editing my same clip.

It is crazy how it's like a deal with the devil. I'm like, what is that? Like the font, if you look at any of my clips, where's the font? Right on my fucking gut. every day. And I do it myself because I have to make sure it's hiding it the whole time. Right, right, right. No, it's, it's no human being is meant to look at themselves. No. Like, not that. No. No. No. Shouldn't exist. Like, you can look at yourself to be like, oh, is my hair in the right place. But no human being is meant to look at themselves as much as you have to be when you are editing reels of yours.

Literally, no stop. I don't know. I don't know if this is, I don't know how this feels for stand up or if it feels different. I have a specifically different feeling when I'm watching myself in a sketch or on the podcast. If I'm watching myself on a podcast. If I'm watching myself on a, sketch if I think because we all we all have you know we're all like oh I look bad in this way this way this way that other people may or may not see but like I if I'm in a sketch and I think I look like shit I'm kind of like yeah but it's a sketch I'm sort of playing a character I'm playing an exaggerated version of myself or like it doesn't matter it's funny it's like it's a bit like the writing is the important part of the editing yeah yeah I see myself in a podcast being annoying and looking bad which is what my brain interprets always I'm like it's just like watching yourself hang out and it's so much more crushing to be like, I hate this. No, it's hell. And like, how is that the stand-ups? I don't think men. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know a lot of men getting cool sculpting on their fucking food pausing. No, that is actually such a good point. I feel like because I don't see a lot of men also getting like comments saying you're ugly online. Right. Right. Right. Right. It's like so much rarer. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's a constant, you know, the stand-up is hell too because I'm very physical. So every time I do like a gool walk, I'm like, what the fuck is my god and I lose my fucking mind and it's like it's it's all hell it's all hell we have to just learn well this will make you feel better so yeah I had another porn star a lot of porn stars

doing a podcast um but she got a no job and she regrets it oh like he so that I know and I'm like that I've never heard that before that side of things yeah no that's good to know because that's that'll be one of my hyper fixations sometimes but like it's just it's just like it's again it's that thing of like no human being is meant to look at yourself for that long and also look at other people who are also edited and everything else. And then be like, oh, I'm supposed to be better and I'm not. It's like, no, you're fine. Everything is fine.

This is your face. The world is so scary. Literally just chill out. So like I'm so bad. Everything. Everything you're fine. Throw it in a river. Speaking of how the world is so bad.

When I was driving here, I saw some like moms protesting the war. And they were standing on top of like a free day overpass. And they were holding signs that say, Alexa wore off Wow Oh my God That's so cute Was this Brentwood?

No this was literally East Hollywood That is crazy East Hollywood? Yeah By whom That's so Brent It's fun It is just so funny

That like you just like have the thought of like I can picture you guys coming up with this Like Ian like they came from Brentwood You can't convince me They were like wouldn't it be cute Were there kids with them? Looking at the Shrower's? No just like very clearly mom

Okay. That seems dangerous. Alexa. With a bunch of kids and they're not paying attention to it. There's rocking the stroller with one hand and shaking it. There's rolling off of the freeway. I was like, oh, this seems dangerous. That is so insane.

Incredible. Should we do a fun segment? I kind of feel like it would be so fun. Oh my God. Oh my God. So we fully forgot. Yeah. God damn.

I fully forgot. There's been no intro so far. We've just been fussing. So this is a podcast called Sid and Olivia Talk shit. Welcome to that. guys. Hey guys. Welcome to Sudden. Olivia Talk shit. I'm the sad one. I'm the Olivia one. And then today we have another one who's very special. Very special, very exciting for us. We're very excited for this. Today we have stepped all up on a lot. Thank you. Oh, is your sound effect? Yeah, so it has a soundbox

because we went on a podcast. It's quiet soundbox. It's really quiet because it's not very expensive. And the best part is the, it's a lot of the sounds go on for way too long. Too long. Really? Far too long. I don't mind that one. Yeah. It is dragged on this. Okay, no, let's do this segment. It's super fun.

What should we call this segment? Is this a new segment? Yeah, we do new segments all the time. You want to do like, I don't know. Worst way to IP. Worst way to pee in my eyes. P in my eyes, the segment. IP worst vibes.

I don't care. I don't care. If you're going to never use a segment again, do we need a name for it? I feel like you wish. No. This is this. It doesn't matter. Name and music.

Cops and music. Okay, so the idea is it's just taking different IP and finding the worst way to do it. You will understand immediately. Yeah. Okay. So the first one is like what are the worst places to Magic School Bus? Right. So you know the Magic School Bus where it like shrinks down really small.

I'm not that fucking old. Right. It shrinks down really small. God damn. And it goes into the human body or whatever. Yes. Like if we were all going to get in that bus right now, What are the worst places we could go?

Right now, I would say this exact moment would be my asshole because my hemorrhoys are so out of control that I don't know if you could even fit. Doesn't matter how small the bus thought, I don't know if we could get in there. Also, I think what would be so interesting about that is that it would be really, it would be like a crazy inception for you to try to get into your own asshole.

I love being in there and see what's going on. Like it would be really cool to try to shrink yourself down and get inside your own asshole. Just to really see. what's going on, yeah. The technology there. Yeah, that would require like other IP to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like it would require the, um, uh, uh, some sort of a cloning thing. Yeah, some sort of either a cloning thing or like a time travel thing or just something where you could also be inside. We need to lock down the cosmology. We need to lock down the rules of the world. I would love to. I was about to ask that woman, uh, if there's any, uh, pills that she could give me for my ass right now. Seriously. Oh, seriously.

Yeah, I can call Kaiser back. What do you do for a hemorrhoef? Right. Now I'm really sucking back those fiber gummies. Okay. And I've been using these things called tucks. They're medicated pads for your anus. Oh, nice.

That I took out right before I came because I didn't want to have a little wet spot in my butt when I came in. Nice. But there was a witch hazel pad on my anus on morning. You're both, how old are you? I'm 31. I'm about to be 30. Okay. So your hemorrhoids are about to start.

Fuck yeah. Okay. So don't be excited. No, no, no. I'm excited that I'm getting that because it's going to happen no matter what. So I'm getting the inside scoop early. And I'm telling you what you need to start doing now, fiber. Fiber, fiber, fiber.

Either the gummies, either the silly musk powder. You need to start taking it every fucking morning. Your shits need to be like a nice consistency. You can't be pushing. You can't be in toilet. And you can't have diarrhea. It comes to all those things. Wow.

It's not just fucking sitting in toilet for four hours. I don't know who does it. Who's time? I'm editing my clips. No, I shit so fast. So do I. Yeah. It's not pushing.

It's, it's so many of the things. It's like a bunch of things that are all kind of constant. I had a hemorrhoid once and Olivia's dad diagnosed me with it. Oh my God. So that sounds terrifying. No, no, he didn't have to see it. No, yeah, what happened was we were doing a web series and I was showing my dad an episode of it. And I was like, look at this cut that I just made.

And I was showing it. And it was on my computer. And Sid starts texting me and it starts coming up on my computer. And she writes in like all caps over and over again, I have a bump on my asshole. My asshole. A bump on my asshole. What? A bump on my asshole.

And eventually my dad was like, Josh Tell her it's a hemorrhoid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See? And I guess, well, the first time you're confused. Yeah. The first time I thought I had butt cancer. Yes.

Because you look it up and that's what comes up. Yeah, yeah. So you get to go to a clinic because you don't have Kaiser. Right. And have a man with a lot of rings, finger your butt. Oh, wow. See, I didn't do that. I just kind of waited.

Wow. You don't wait it out. Yeah, is that bad? No, no. It wasn't bleeding? No. Then you're fine. Okay, wait.

So. Hey, any hemorrhoid questions, you just come to meet. This is great. This is the hemorrhoid episode. Yeah. I'm about a little bit of a clip about a hemorrhoid. I'll only talk about what some words. I love that.

I mean, listen, it's like, it's like, write what you know. And all I know is hemorrhoids. And one day all I know will be hemorrhoids and then I'm like stepping into, this is awesome. It's going to be, yeah. You're really going to be upset though. So really what I tell the young kids is to take photos of your asshole now. Oh. Just to have them in case you ever want to look back.

No, just to have them for you. At a time that, because I wear. because what happens back there now, it's carnage. It is and it's not, I can't, I can't remember what it once was. Oh, right. And here's the thing,

and I get smug about, I used to have a nice anus because several men told me that. That's everything. My boyfriend hasn't said, A beep. There hasn't been, since we've been together

for two and a half years, not one complimented about my anus has ever been coming. So I'm very upset. Men. And I like, being smug about that was fun. Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah, especially because you're like, I, the only way I know this is from other people telling me. Right. It's not, you can't really be like. Well, you can check yourself. Yeah, you can go mirror vibes. You could. Especially with the phone now.

Yeah. That's why it's almost much harder if you guys are like, you know, you have something down there, you take a photo, it's all freaked out. Like before we get the pocket mirror. Yeah. I have a leg up on the sink. I'm cleaning it. It's fogging up because when you get down there, it gets hot.

Oh, the only thing that's way better. You're so, oh, fogging up. I never thought of it. I never thought of that before. What I like about the pocket mirror is it doesn't like automatically upload the picture to the cloud forever. Sure, sure. Yeah. That's always, always my fear is like when I have like a hidden folder or something and it's either like nudes or like a photo of like I hope this lump goes away.

Yeah, my hidden photo is like sexy pictures of me or before photos. Exactly. And I'm like I would rather the lump photos not be the one that escaped. Yeah, yeah. It's like in the pictures where I was like, it's like, yeah, that's not, I don't want any, like, sexy picture I've ever taken myself to be leaked. But if it was, I'd rather have that than like the really sad before picture. The pictures of my rash. Like, you know, like, instead of like a picture where I'm like truly like sad and being like, is this something from shaving or is this kind of something really bad?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also like, whatever, everything bad happens. So I'll buck. Take some pills. Take some creams. Take a bunch of pills. Take some pills, take some creams. You're fine.

Yeah. Okay, here's one. Yeah. The worst people to Freaky Friday with. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I mean, there are so many, really. Well, there's a whole list of them.

There's a whole list of them. I don't want my life be threatened again. Right now. Well, yeah, I don't know. What did you guys say? I mean, obviously Trump would be hell. I wouldn't want that. Yeah.

The other thing that you have to think about is that this person would be you for 24 hours. Oh my God. So we had to make it worse. Yeah. So it's like if I was Trump for 24 hours, I would just be like shitting my pants and be rightfully hated. But I could maybe do some stuff that's like I could do some damage control.

If he was me, he would ruin all my relationships immediately. But you could get those back. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone would be like, you don't usually do this when you talk. I knew something was wrong. There is something insane though about trying to explain to your friend like yesterday. I promise you that wasn't me.

I promise you I'm freaky Friday with the president. Yeah. We could all try gaslighting people in our lives by doing that. People who like bully me would be a good one because I'm like, you want to be in this? Yeah. You get over here for a fucking day and see how this feels. No, totally. Get a taste of this.

And then it's like maybe you'll have some empathy now. Exactly. And then meanwhile, you can ruin the absolute fuck out of their lives. So then maybe I would say Jeff die. I would like Jeff die to live in my skin for one day. And see the death. the death threats he's getting from. That's beautiful, though, because that's like a whole,

that's actual Freaky Friday, right? Yes. The whole point of the freaky of the Friday, right, is that you get the empathy Friday. That's the empathy. Maybe I'll go in his cyber truck and I'll be like, it's not that bad over here. Or it is bad.

It's sad, a lot of Kleenex, not crying. That's why the windows are so tinted. Yeah, or you can crash someone's cyber truck and it's a win-win either way. Yes. Wow. See, this is a way to get empathy for your enemies and for your enemies to get,

empathy for you. Yes. Yeah. This is good. And this is why we need to make Freaky Fridaying a real thing. Yes. Okay. And we're working on it. And we're working on it. Ever feel like your brain is just looking for the next thing that could go wrong? Well, yes, absolutely. Every second of every day. And you can never just relax and enjoy life. Maybe you pay a ton of attention to your body and you immediately spiral whenever you get a physical sensation because you're terrified. You think you have a serious illness. Because of the pop culture stereotypes, a lot of people, think OCD is just about being super organized, but that's actually wrong. Real OCD is a serious condition where unwanted, distressing thoughts called intrusive thoughts get stuck on repeat in your mind. And you feel driven to engage in certain behaviors called compulsions to try to get them to stop. OCD can be exhausting and debilitating. But what's given me so much hope is learning that OCD is actually one of the most

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To learn more about starting OCD treatment with noCD, go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team. That's n-o-cd.com. Starting something new isn't just hard. It's terrifying. Absolutely. It's like you don't know if anyone's going to like it, if people are going to buy your things, if you're starting a store. You have no idea.

I feel like when we started our podcast, we were very much like, what if everyone makes fun of us and doesn't listen? And it's worked out. There have been people who have listened and didn't make fun of us. Sure, we get made fun of too, but who cares? Yeah, but everyone gets made fun of everywhere. If you're launching a business or you're making artwork or anything like that, it's important to believe in yourself and put your stuff out there. And you know what makes that easier?

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Go to Shopify.com slash Sid and Live. That's Shopify.com slash Sid and Live. Worst day to Groundhog Day. Oh, fuck. So the problem is there are so many wars. And I don't think we can count any of them. It has to be a... Perthesis silly.

Yeah, we're thinking low stakes. We're thinking small. Like a personal thing maybe. We're like a state of groundhog day. We're state of groundhog day. Oh my gosh. I mean there really are so many. There's so many.

These are like a hard hitting question. Should we be like more personal? Like a very silly personal time? I mean, I'm trying to think of like shitting myself or anything like that. Oh yeah. You guys are already shitting yourself? You're shir-I've done it once. Okay.

And also our Patreon is called Shart Nation. No, I shared it last week. It's why I'm asking you guys if you already doing it. I'm not saying I'm not judging. No, no, no. I simply just didn't. I hadn't done it ever. And then in the span of like two months, I did it twice.

Oh, yeah. That really spooks you. And I do think it was because I was living in black mold with an open roof. Yeah, she had no roof for a while. What do you mean no roof? Well, the ceiling was off. And there was no ceiling. Like, ceiling up, you look at, it's the sky.

They took the ceiling off. And then they were like, sorry, we were going to put it back, but we forgot. So you were technically living outside? For two months. Indoor outdoor. Only the bathroom. Okay. So only shitting outside.

Huh. So you had an outhouse in your house. Yes. You had a porta potty gas. It was indoor outdoor living. It was a retractable ceiling except it didn't go back. Right, right, right. It was like very, very strange.

Did you pay rent during this time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full rent. Yeah. Welcome to L.A. baby. No, that's crazy. And it was expensive. And it was, honey, expensive.

But I am gone now But I didn't have a roof And so then for a while I was like So crazy I'm shitting myself And I was like I wonder if it's the black mold It's definitely black mold Going into my lungs And then now I'm fine

Okay Here's something wrong with my personality Because I was like okay What could it be? And in my head I'm like thinking of all that I'm like oh maybe like when my appendix ruptured But I liked that You liked that?

Yeah Massacist Yeah what is wrong? I just got a you know when you get a break Oh, you need to like just do nothing? You're like, oh, fuck you, no one expects shit from me right now. It's like taking a sick day. It's like taking a sick day.

And also a lot of funny stuff happens that day. Like there was a lot of funny transformative stuff. I guess I wouldn't do the awake surgery over and over again. No. Yeah, that's that seems like. Sometimes they have to drain it while you're awake because then you must be sleeping. Yeah, you must be sleeping for them to get cut in there. Cut in there.

Yeah. But yeah, there's just like, yeah, I mean, I mean, I would say, yeah, any, like, day of middle school, I don't think I want to redo. Right, right. I'd be weirdly, once again, kind of okay with it. I'd be okay. There's so fewer responsibilities than now. And I think that's something I, but I think if I, if I, I think that would also probably

be like a thing where I'd romanticize and be like, yeah, maybe. And then I'd show up there and be like, oh, this is actually so bad. I can't believe I picked this one. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of days I don't want to relive. To be honest, it's hard to pick. Recently, the cool sculpting I did actually last Monday,

I went in, hungover, and on my period. And the pain was so immense that she came in and went, oh my God! And had to wheel in this whole thing of gas. And then we had to cut it short. And I have to go back today because I was in some of the pain. It was died. Anyway, so that, I don't want to do that day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to do that day. You don't want to do that again. The pain was like, this is not normal. God. All the things we do just to not hide the full. font on my stomach. Jeez, Louise.

That's, no, none of us should be allowed to look at ourselves on reels. No. No. People troll me. I'm like, buddy, whatever you're going to say, I've said it every day for my whole fucking well. It's like, you cannot come up with fucking

anything. Don't be, don't be mean to me. I already do that for my own. And I'm better at it. I'm so much better at it. No matter how good you think you are at it. Yeah, it's never going to. What's the worst thing you could do

with the click remote? Oh my gosh. I never saw a click, to be honest See it either So you just, it's like, you know how remote goes? Sure. Just like that, real life. But in the trailer, wasn't there a part where he is something about boobs?

Yeah, he probably is pausing and rewinding to see more boobs or slow motion or something. Like, it's like you can pause, rewind, slow motion, fast forward. I kind of thought there was a boobes button. You could put boobs on things. All remotes need a boobes button, you know what I mean? I was like, that's kind of cool. Oh, a dick button.

You don't see enough dick button. seen of dicks. Yeah, and when you are, they're flaccid. Yeah. What was the guy, the elephant man thing? What was that movie I saw recently? Oh. What's his not elephant man?

He has like that, it's like, it's like, elephantitis we have. Oh, yeah. What the fuck was that movie? Wait, I don't know, but did we see his dick? Yes. Oh. Before he, like, I think right after he got the surgery

because he was so, like, offended of his own face, he got that surgery. And he shows his dog. Full dong. Full dong, pubs and everything. Like, you don't see a lot of full. And it was there long enough where you can, like, Full song.

Sebastian Sand's Full song or full dong. Oh, they show it. See, this is the thing why I would never want to have my tits like post, like, I've sent them out, but I mean like on a movie because you can just find this fucking tip

and rewatch his fucking tit clip. It's crazy. Can I see what he looks like without the dick part because I'm not going to, oh, yeah. That movie, yeah. Yeah. Because I'm not because I can't see the dick part, but because I know it's going to be hard

to find on Google images. Of course. It might not. I feel like it's easy If you put John Ham's Dick and Sweatpants That comes up pretty quickly Oh really? Yeah I wonder why I know that

Yeah that I was just like to say You do that really fast Oh There's John Ham's Dick and sweat There they go Yeah there he is Oh okay Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oh yeah Oh yeah Yeah yeah it's It's hanged out there Oh yeah Yeah Yeah it's schlocking around in there And it's not

He knows it. You don't wear gray sweatpants unless you knew you were. Yeah. Wow. I mean, it's out of control. There's a tip. Wow. Like, if you see tip through khakis, that's crazy.

That is actually crazy. It's crazy. You see tip through khaki? You see a big outline there. This is really wild. I can't believe I didn't know about this. He's probably in line at like Gelson's or something. Yeah.

It is crazy to be so traditionally handsome and have that going on. It's honestly too much. Get a grip. It's like you'd think like, oh, maybe you pick one. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, unreal. And he apparently is so nice, too.

I love that. Oh, I've heard that. Like, everyone says he loves comedy and he's super fun and nice to hang out with and great on set. I'm like, what the hell? That's awesome. That's fucking great. You know what? Let's get more of that.

Can we get some more of that in the chat? Wouldn't it be nice? Can we fly more of that? Yeah. Has he ever done nudity? in anything? Oh, man. I feel like I would know.

If I know about that. I would have that bookmark. I would definitely fucking know. I feel like I would know. That's what I would use the click remote for. Oh, yeah. So I guess you could use the click remote for that. I think the worst thing you could use the click remote for is a, is a like live remix of a natural disaster.

I agree. Or adding boobs to a natural disaster. I mean, if it has the bones, but. Yeah. A big title way. There's two tits rolling in a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. use the click remorse. Yeah, if like the big one in California happened and the click remote just we just added boobs to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were just like, shaking around. That would actually be kind of a good way to use it. I think doing a remix or rewind. Wow, you never actually think about the big one, everyone's tits will be shaking like crazy. That's so true. And that's what people are thinking about it. And that's what the media won't tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are people who are like, I can't wait for the big one. Just imagine how crazy these tits will be shaking. I'm going to run outside. I feel like there's so. we've been to that all they think about us tits all the day.

Yeah. Well, they better start thinking about the big one. My mom tells me some story about how her tits shook during the big one. Kind of. She tells me some story about how like during some earthquake, um, she like was sleeping naked and for some reason, like at the time, the big earthquake trend was like you get in your doorway or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

See, it's kind of crazy because isn't there a door going back and forth? Whatever. Yeah, there was the whole doorway thing. Like was sleeping naked and then got up and like went to her apartment. doorway and was like, I'm just going to stand the doorway. And, like, one of her neighbors was like, God, I hope we get an earthquake every night. Bo-soinga, zoinga.

Oh, he would say, she was like a front door? Yeah. Oh, she only had one doorway. I don't know. I always assumed it was like a doorway in your house. In your house, yeah. That was a public one. I don't know.

This is how I've heard the story. Is that why? That guy was out there, too, also doing the doorway thing? Everyone's in the same thing. He's all the click remote. And he had the click remote and he made the earthquake happening. He did. Oh, my God.

And he was like having the click remote causes the big one. and that's the thing about the click remote is that it has all the buttons of a regular. And I know this because I have not seen the movie. So it has all of the regular buttons of a remote and then it has add boobs and then it has add earthquake. Yes, okay. And that's real.

I would want to rewind like a nice thing that happened to me. Oh my God, yeah, that'd be amazing. If I could add even more boobs to myself, like not just these, but like other ones, other places in my body, I think that was so funny. You know people who have an extra nipple? Yeah. Does it lactate?

No. No. No, no. You know? I literally two weeks ago in Houston, this girl yelled out she had an edge of nipple. I want to know everything. No, smaller, just a little bit further down from where the top one was. Right.

And then just got it removed because it was like, it's like just like a skin mistake. It was a, yeah, but it was an exact nipple. Oh, wow. But just like. But it's kind of like a couple of something. Yeah. It's like, do you know a lot of people have two but holes? I'm sorry?

I'm not sure whether it's called, but like one of them, it doesn't go in all the way. It's just like almost like a belly button. It's almost like a second belly button. but right on top of your... A belly butt hole. Yes. Right above your butt hole. So you can get it really well.

Dissociate. What's it called? It's a very common thing, yeah. Two anus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they usually close one up. Two an anal canal application? When an extra prying open?

Oh, my God. Oh, okay. So we know someone who had two vaginas. Oh, like two, wait, not too like outside. Like two insides? Two inside holes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was fixed.

Which one do they pay? pick the bigger one? The bigger one. I think, right? I think the smaller one would have been more painful. But they, she didn't know about it for so long. And then, how long are we talking? Like, and I think, I don't want to mistell her, but like, high school? No, like college or like she, like she, like a boyfriend was like, oh, well, you know. Yeah, he was like, well, you know. Oh, yeah. He was like, well, you know you have too, right? And she was like, what? What do you mean? And he was like, well, you know that like, sometimes there's like a. And she's like, what are you talking? I feel like I would know if I had two. And then when she went to and she went to the doctor, the doctor was like, can we bring in like all our med students? How did no doctor ever notice it? They were like, she had no fucking, she had nothing.

I went to the guy who nothing happened. You know what? It might be like, it might be. Why don't any tampons work? There's still blood everywhere. It's making sense. And that's one of the things that she would experience. It might be like the same reason that like Nathan for you work.

where it's like people are like too polite and afraid to say anything. So they just like, you probably know. Sure, sure. Yeah, this is probably fun. And they just kind of like let things happen, which is truly the entire way that show can work. Because people are too polite to be like, I'm not going to be like stop. Yeah. That's so crazy.

Two holes. Yeah. So one doctor was like, by the way. If you had to have an extra. So we all have holes right in our body. Great question. If you had to have an extra hole that was one that was already existing, which one would it be? Oh, fuck.

I think it would be the worst. worst choice I could make is second mouth because then I could talk over myself and say two different things. And I have ADHD. So I do have like multiple trains of thought at the same time. And if I could express that into words, like, I think that would ruin everyone's life. I would take a third ear because I think I'm losing my hearing. Yes. Yes. Yes. I would take a third year. Sometimes people say things. I'm like couldn't hear that at all. Yeah. No, yeah. You got something going on there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You should look into that. Yeah. You should probably get a third ear. I'll get a second muddle because I currently mine is not working.

Currently my anus isn't my friend. And knowing you, like, and knowing everything. If I could have one asshole with hemorrhoids, one without that I could be fine. Just to say that it would be without. That's a problem. If I had double-roided assholes, that would be a big problem. But on the upside, it could also just be like beautiful and perfect because that's what you produce naturally.

Just look at that one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, I, if you're naturally a person. When I have sex, I'm just put an eye on a car. And that's what I've always said is we always meet. We need more. A googly eye on one of them.

Ladies and gentlemen, everyone in between, we need more eye patches for our second anus. We really do. That is so true. Putting a googly eye on it is really great, too. Actually, putting a googly eye on your anus during sex is a fun surprise. It is.

If you've never had sex with someone before, okay, if you've never had sex, oh. Thank God. If you've never had sex. The pills. You've never had sex with them. The first time you want to give them a surprise, make them think this person.

Put a giggly eye on your anus. You have to put a googly eye on your anus, and that's your way of saying, it's not going on here. And it's also your way of saying, well, how whimsical am I? But it might be saying it could go in here. Yeah, if you. Yeah, I see you. I see you. Take a pee.

I spy. Who are the worst people to be humans centipeded with? Oh, shit. Oh, these are, God sakes. Yeah, well, I guess the question is position, right? Yeah, because somebody's going to have to, you're going to have to have your mouth to somebody's butt and then somebody's going to have to have their mouth on your butt. I'm going to say this. I don't care who's behind me.

Really? Yeah. They're not talking. Oh yeah. Well, how about this? You don't want a family member there. That's true. That's true. I only want someone the worst person it could be behind someone I actually like. See, think about that. You don't want your dad back there. Think about that. I really don't. Actually, you are so right. You're so right. Not enough people are talking about the fact that you're in a human centipede. You don't want your dad. You don't want anyone you know. I feel like people did talk about this years ago when the movie came out. God, damn it.

Here's the important thing is that I have not seen the movie, okay? So that's... Neither have I. Okay, so this is very... These are all scenarios of things that we've never seen. I know the concepts.

I know the Friday. I think if I had to pick, if you could pick someone to go behind. Yeah. I'd probably pick my boyfriend. Oh, yeah. Just because he's got the cleanest butthole. Oh, great.

I know. Yeah. And he eats well. That's true. to pick like someone you feel comfortable someone who takes really good care way too much but like I feel like just cleanliness alone

it would be clean maybe I'd pick my dog you're I literally just pictured it I'm so sorry yeah yeah you pick your dog my dog just ate something off the fucking ground my dog eats she is a chihuahua my dog eats chicken and rice and vegetables for every meal but doesn't sniff around

the fucking herbs but she doesn't eat she doesn't eat like gross stuff she'll I mean she'll eat grass but That's, you know, for her own stomach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And her poops are usually like, actually, that's not true. She has IBD, which is irritable bowel dog. Yeah, really?

Irritable bowel disease. Is she own pills? No, she's not, but her poops will come out sometimes. Sometimes her poops will come out and they'll be like, oh no, it's soft serve. Like, it's bad. Yeah, yeah. This is why I'm alarmed by this choice. My dog is diarrhea every three days.

Well, I guess I just love her so much. That you'd want your mouth. around her ass. Oh, my stomach just wumbled. I'm so hungry from my dog is poop. It is making me hungry, too. I think I just would be, this is our grossest episode ever. Yeah, well, you had great. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. You did this to yourself. Did you not watch my Instagram movies? I think, um, no, I kind of knew this was going to happen. I was kind of like, hell, yeah, let's absolutely go for it. I think that honestly, yeah, I think I would actually pick my dog and I would

eat her put them in the same. That also would be the easiest because if your dog is small, it would be like a more normal one to carry around. You could stand up if you wanted. Also, then I get to be so close to her. Yeah. And she'd be the mouth of the whole operation. So she could, she could talk to her. You control it too.

Yeah. And she's only eating chicken and rice and vegetables. Right. She gets a blueberry as a treat. Right. One? She loves blueberries. Just one?

No, she gets multiple. Okay. See, this is the thing, too. It's like I grew with big dogs. And so I have to readjust now that I'm around so many little dogs because you can't feed them shit or they'll, My dog loves blueberries. She loves cabbage.

We would give my dog loves carrots. I literally have a golden retriever. Oh yeah. She's an 85 pounds. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She can eat the whole fucking cherry.

No, my dog is obsessed with vegetables. It's awesome. Yeah, he would eat like an entire cord on the cob and the cob and then we'd have to be like, well, let's take the vet just to make sure that. And you're just like a tank. Like you can eat anything. And then you're around other people's dogs and you're like,

oh, have some chicken. And it's like, no, that will kill them. And it's like, oh, that is actually a different animal. Yeah. And love them both. different animal. Yeah, my dog ate a chicken pot pie once because an old roommate left one on the floor. Wait, sorry.

Okay, never mind. I actually love that. She ate a full chicken pot pie. Was it in the open house where you, excuse me, I have to post here. No, I love that. It wasn't. It's so embarrassing. No, you're so fine.

It was in, no, it was, no, it was in, no, it was. No, it was not in the house where I had no roof. Maybe a hawk dropped open. Yeah, you know how like sometimes a hawk delivers a chicken pot pie? Oh, you're a dog getting your dog? No, not anymore, but I was. No, I was kind of a hawk delivering me a chicken. and pot pie and me liking it so much

that I don't know how to function afterwards. If we could train a hawk? Did you see the Oscars last night? No. No, because you know what? How young are you guys? What do you guys do then? What do you fucking do? We were at a rehearsal. Oh, but sit took some really good pictures from the rehearsal. Oh yeah, I did. You're rehearsing for what? A sketch show? Yeah. Our friend's sketch show. But I don't know. How did I fucking know

how did I fucking know? It's not on my. Oh, wait, I'll take it. In a basement. Yeah. In California, those don't exist. But somehow you guys made some fucking bunker and you're going, yes, and doing these fucking ocean warmups. A hundred percent. Unbelievable. Okay, Cass, I'm sending you. I can't believe the youth.

We actually did two and a half hours of Zipsaps off and that was it. That's what I actually do. It is what we do. Well, I brought up the Oscars was because Conan had a hawk deliver him an Oscar. It was a very funny bet. Wait, really? Did he actually? No, it was like a fake one, but it was very silly.

Oh, that's amazing. That really fits in. No, no, that's exactly. Yeah. See, when I did have no roof, I was like, I'm so excited for the first bird to come in and start making this their home. And I was like waiting for it because I'm loving birds right now. And I haven't, none of them did.

So I did get a lot of leaves. Loving birds right now. I am. I'm loving birds. You know what's the best remedy for truly anything? What? Some good old fashioned home cooking. That is such a good point.

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Including me. They've got Mediterranean food now. That's a new element. I love Mediterranean food. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you can feel great about it because it's wholesome ingredients. Like sustainably sourced seafood and antibiotic and hormone-free chicken. You can impress your guests or just treat yourself with new grass-fed steak rib-eyes. And make meals with seasonal produce like pears, asparagus, apples. You're busy. You can't spend money on takeout every night. I cannot. This is like healthy, yummy meat. that you can make at home, you should try it. It's so good. I use HelloFresh. I love it. You should check it out. Go to Hellofresh.com slash Talk10 FM to get 10 free meals. Plus a free Zwilling knife, a $144.99 value on your third box. Offer valid ball supplies last. Free meals

applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only varies by plan. Great news. The federal EV rebate is back. Eligible customers get up to $5,000. with the federal EVAP rebate on select 2027 volts and 2026 Equinox EV EV models. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today for more details. Steph, I want to ask you about the concept of heckling. What's like the weirdest thing people have heckled during your show? Because I can't actually imagine being heckled because I would be so scared. Well, okay.

Well, the nipple thing was kind of weird. When someone told me they had an extra apple. Yeah, that's awesome. What's happening right now with the heckling? Yeah. crowdwork has really on the internet because now people think that

that's what a stand-up comedy show is. It's about them. And they might get their moment. They might get their moment and they're talking the entire show. I'm talking from the very beginning of my set to the end. One hour of someone talking to a stop.

So it's becoming, well, I get recently this woman in Madison, Wisconsin, who I asked several times to be quiet. And it's always women in their 30s, 40s, 50s. And they always find me out Facebook. I call them out and I go, let me guess, Facebook first. And I'm like, losing it. I'm having a full mental breakdowns on stage now.

This woman decided to tell me that she and her daughter flash each other and it was like a normal thing. And then her daughter's nipples are like a different color because she's mixed race. Her daughter's nipples more caramel and hers are more like pink. And I was like, what? And I was just, I'm like, listening to her say this. I'm like so confused. She's trying out her type five. No, she just wanted to, these people just want to say things.

I don't know. She got very upset because I screamed to her after her to shut the fuck up because it's like, I'm making me look right now. People, I have, I have, there's a whole new heckling policy I have now of my shows. I have a fucking drill sergeant now. Really? It's a one heckle warning. Because I want to talk to you.

Either way, you want to do cowwork. I don't need you to yell at some fucking bullshit. I'll find you, I'll say something. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. I had a girl in Seattle. This piss me out because she's like, probably your age.

Yeah. First comedy show. The whole show talking. Everybody around is past. The whole front row is angry. Everyone's getting upset. I'm like, listen, I'm like, I'm asking you one more time to stop. If you do not, you will be asked to leave and then it's going to be seen.

She chimes in again. I can't. I can't do this. If I kick her out, the whole crowd goes silent and I bomb. And I'm like, well, I don't want to do this right now. In the meet and greet line, she comes. No. My boyfriend charges are extra for a t-shirt, L.O.

Sorry. Sorry, shut up. She writes in the back-law line. You hate me. And she goes, I wrote this, I go, I do. And she's like, what? I go, no, I don't like you. I'm not, I'm not joking right now.

And she was, well, what was I supposed to do? What did you want me do? Just sit and fucking laugh. Girl, what? That's actually exactly it. That's exactly what we want you to fucking do. I couldn't, and she was so thrown off. She was, really, that's what you wanted.

You want to silence women. I'm like, I, it's getting so out of control. Like, this weekend alone in Tampa, like people are paying, what, $10 extra for this VAP to sit closer, thinking that they just want me. And if I don't talk to them, couples are, it must be going, I can't fucking believe it. We sat there and didn't say nothing to make fun of us once. I'm like, now you want me to make fun of you? It's, it's, it's so crazy.

It's crazy. It's frustrating. And it's like, pretty much any comic who does even some, I don't know if you saw the whole thing with Rory Scoville. Do I see this? What was it? So Rory Scoville is one of the nicest fucking comedians of the planet on threads this weekend. Some woman posted, I'm a single mother and I bought tickets to Rory's show.

and he kicked this out for no fucking reason he's a piece of shit he's an asshole every fucking comic who sees it goes crazy there's no way where it kicked you out and everyone's like people who don't know the situation oh my god what an asshole why would be he kick you out that you get hard money

everyone who was at the show was like you were warned three times he said you can move to a different seat if you'd like but you can no longer sit in the front and then she tried turning around making it seem like the comic was the asshole I'm like these people Darvo need to fucking stop

Who's Darva? Darvo is just like a bad tactic of like, what is it? You defend, like, I don't know, it's what people do when they're like, I didn't do it, you did it. Yeah, yeah. It was really, it's becoming quite a problem. Yeah.

I've also seen online, like, clips of people heckling to get a date with the comedian. Oh. Like, people will be, like, ask the comedian out during a show, which is actually, like, a crazy tactic. Yeah. A guy at South by Southwest proposed to a woman that was doing a panel. during the show. Yes, I saw that.

And he wouldn't leave, right? He wouldn't leave. Yes, and the security was like, uh, excuse me. Right. Right. Yeah. That's, everybody else on the stage was like, what the heck? And yeah, and that's, I feel like that's a story that, like, your grandparents

tell you of how they met, you know? Because, like, everyone's grandparents are like, ah, he wouldn't leave me alone, and he followed me to my house and he stopped you. And then eventually. Thank God I had a ceiling on my bathroom. Eventually, he went to climb right in. He came in through my ceiling, and I said, okay. Yeah, it's, it's, it's.

It's gone too far. What type of stories are people offering up in the crowd? Or are they just offering random facts? Random facts. They like to tell me about, usually about personal stuff. A girl at some of the day, she's not wearing underwear, and she really wanted me to know that. Oh, that's awesome.

Did you love knowing that? Did that mean so much to you? Disgusted by it, because I'm like, we, I mean, I need underwear because something's always coming out. So I don't know. You're sitting there bare on a chair. Yeah. Also, like, what are we wearing on top of that?

A dress. A short, like, short, short, skirt. So I was like, because it's got to be a long skirt. Yeah, something's coming out here. There was people are saying really weird things to me in the meet and greet line. That's where it's getting weird. Woman told me she wanted to suck my nose. Oh my God. And I went, sorry? She was, oh yeah, right, you get

that all the time. And I was like, no, first and only time. And I actually never want to hear it again. Oh, yeah, right. You get that. Wait, is that a thing? No, well. I'm apparent, according to that woman, like, is that a thing? People I do? I didn't even want to look it up because I'm assuming. Can we look it up? I'm assuming, let's have this on your... Do people suck people's noses? Can you look that up? Is that a thing?

Oh, God. Like, is that a fetish? It's got to be. Everything is a fetish. Yeah, but you know what? It's not what I've heard of. No sucking is a common effect of real much clear mucus for babies. Oh, well, yeah.

Oh, please heavens to Betsy. Well, yes, it's with babies. With babies, they'll take the straw and they'll put the straw up a baby's nose and suck to get the stuff out because babies can't blow their noses. Well, that's fucking gross. But this isn't that. Okay, nose fetishes them. is partialism or nasophilia.

Oh, wow. The fetish may manifest itself in a desire for actual physical contact interaction with specific fantasies just as the desire to penetrate the nostrils. Okay, I'm going to stop reading. Wow, yeah, it is. And you know when I stop reading. Wow. Oh, Pinocchio started this.

Oh, wow. Other fantasies may include the desire to observe or experience a transformation of a nose with reference to an element of a fictional work such as Pinocchio. Wow. Can you imagine being like turned on by the idea? of the transformation of a nose. Yeah. It is like a dick getting hard, though.

I guess, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's true. You really made it make sense in zero seconds. I was like, how could one, like, I guess that could be phallic, but I'm like, then why not just be turned on by the other thing? I don't know. Because you're bored now.

Yeah, that's your thing. John Ham's coming out with his awesome tip and his khakis. And we're all like, ya, yeah, yeah. Yon yesterday. I want to see a nose get hard. Yon yesterday. Yon yesterday. I want to see.

always yawn yesterday. I want someone to lie and their nose gets hard. Like that's what we want nowadays. There's porn for everything. They love yon yesterday. What's the craziest? What's the, because, okay, so in terms of there being porn for everything, this is kind of fun. Sure.

What's the worst porn anyone's ever seen? Well, we tried to find lactation porn and couldn't find it. We tried to find adult breastfeeding porn. I don't think you looked hard enough. I know, right? We were mad. I don't think you looked at all. We tried to find that's definitely something.

Yeah, can you send it to us later? I mean, I don't look at that, but I'm like, anytime. We were like, it has to be. My worst point is when it's, when, you know, they don't blur the casting couch guy's face. And you're like, you should have to learn that out. You're like, that's disgusting. That's disgusting. That's to me.

I don't need to see this Armenian man who they found at a fucking mechanic. And they're like, do you want to fuck this young girl today? Of course he does. I can't. No, that's fair. I think the worst porn I've ever seen is we saw live action SpongeBob porn and it was really bad. Live action SpongeBob porn. There was a guy in a full SpongeBob costume.

He's skin is painted yellow. He looks like he has jaundiced. Well, the worst part is the smell of that that costume would have had. That's what that's what hits me. And they didn't make his dick yellow. And I'm really upset about it. You're going to go full. And he does like the voice he does the laugh.

It's so bad. It made me like really, really upset for. a really long time in my life. That's why I'm on half of the medications that I'm on. Yeah, it was a tough one. Yeah. It's like they should have made it a yellow dildo or something. Yeah.

I was watching a pornographic movie. I was watching pornographic clip. A clip. We watching shorts on porn hub. Yes, I was watching reels on porn hub to see the crowdwork. And there was, it was just like normal style, normal style. Classic normal style. And then there was at some point,

another woman entered and just started peeing on people. On everyone. And this was not advertised in the porn. And I was like, hmm, this isn't what I expected. People should be in the title. Yeah. And I went to the comments in everybody was writing like, didn't really expect this other woman to come in and pee on everyone.

Kind of happy it happened. Not sure I knew that was coming. What I like about what you've told me about the story is that she just exits after. She leaves afterward. Yeah. I don't hate that. That's the best job to get ever. If I was doing porn, the idea of being like, I can come in, I can push on everyone, and I can leave and take an early lunch break.

I'm like, that's awesome. Have you ever watched VR porn? Oh my God, no. I can't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all have poned heads. It's weird. They're too close to you.

They are too close to you and they're huge. And they have these honed. All their heads are really long and tall and poned. It's really scary. I don't like the experience of feeling like something's too close to me and then physically. backing up and it's not doing anything. I get kind of sick in those games. I played zombie one and I grew up after

because I was like, oh. No, like motion. Like it was like the Harry Potter ride. I get sick at Universal. I can't do that. That's what that felt like to me. I can't do that. I can't do that. If you ever seen those porons of these freak me out when those women use like those insanely huge dildos is like a serpent's leg? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the

like the kind of fantastical, mystical themed kind of way too big. It's crazy. Oh, where's out. going. It's sometimes a super plus tampon hurts. I'm like, if anything like, yeah, it's almost, and it's like, first off, girl, if you like that, fuck yeah. I'm not, but also like, no, I just don't want to do it. No, but like if you see it as a cartoon, it's almost like, well, no one's actually getting outchied here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you see it as a live action, you're like, that's real. Yeah. Yeah, I saw a live sex show in Amsterdam. Oh, how was that? Really? It was, it was weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What happened?

They fucked to shut through the heart, but you're to blame. And they were dressed as like a monk and like whatever a lady monk would be. So the guy had like that friar tuck kind of hair, he had this big burlap sack. And the problem was they weren't particularly attractive people. They weren't like traditionally like. They were also dressed as monks. And I'm kind of like, that's what hard. That always makes you look worse.

That, it was like the guy came out. And then the worst part was that he was wearing like an underarm or t-shirt underneath because he was self-conscious of stomach. So then he, as he fucked, his shirt was come up and he was kind of like, try to pull it down. So that was gross. The whole thing was, and we were sitting in church pews. It was in the basement in Amsterdam. And then when they started seeing, doing it to the shots of the heart,

we all burst out laughing because we all knew the song very well. And did they do it as like a campy, silly like this is a bit kind of performance? Okay. And did they do any crowd work? No. Did anyone happen? No. This is probably 15 years ago.

So what we need to do is, We need to go to an Amsterdam sex show. Yes. And we need to see now if people are heckling. Yeah. Yeah, they probably are. They mostly. The strippers that opened the show were amazing.

Yeah. They were doing crazy stuff. Were they like stand-up strippers or just stripper? They went out. One girl put like a marker in a vagina. She signed a guy's name in perfect penmanship on his stress. No, it was very present. That's like Go on America's Got Talent.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, get the golden ticket. They should have dirty America's Got Talent. Wait. Yes. Call Howie. That would actually somebody.

Call Howie on. the phone. Yeah. Somebody call Howie on the phone. If you say, if you really say, oh, there's porn for everything, but there's not dirty America's got talent. There might be. You're not Googling the right stuff.

There should be. I might not be using the right websites. I don't think you are. My friend went to a sex show in Amsterdam and they brought him up on stage and had him eat a banana out of a woman's vagina. Yeah, that's a classic one. Yeah, I'm going to say. I would heckle that.

No, I'm kidding. What would you say? I would say, no, I don't. I actually do. I am so the anti-heckler. I know. Like I could have, yeah. The idea when people yell things out,

because I ask questions, and that makes sense to answer me at that point, but just to yell out a random personal thing is very strange. Yeah, it is. It's very, like, non sequitur. Like, I do that at a bar in a conversation inappropriately. Like, I'll just shout out and be like, does, one time this happened,

This happened to me. But like, that's because I'm not, other people aren't paying money to see someone speak. I don't know. Like, yeah. It's live comedy has changed now because people are doing that at sketch shows, are they? Heckling? No, but once I was in a play and a girl in the front row went, is this even real life? And like, all of us afterward were like, I want to be like, what are you asking?

Because you are not allowed to say anything, right? No. No. No. But what I wanted to say is, do you mean the concept of theater? What are we talking about? Yes, in real life, you're seeing a play, but no, these characters are not real. Like, the story isn't real.

But the play is like, this isn't real life? This is a real play. Well, not really. It's a little bit like make-believe play pretend. All of it's not real, actually. Oh, my God. You paid to see this. When people do stand up, sorry me asking, like, truly.

Sorry, me asking. Sorry, me asking. truly the most basic stand-up questions in the whole world. Do you do stand-up that some of it is just made up? Or is it all based on something real? It's pretty much all based on something real. Yeah, because I know some people will make up like families and stories about things that are like, no, I just not real. I just have a life that is gross and weird.

Well, all your stuff, yeah, all your stuff sounds like if any of your stuff were to be made up, I would be like, oh, that's a choice. Yeah, it'd be crazy if you were like making up that you had a hemroy. Yeah. I wish, God. It really feels harder to make things up. And when I'm up there and I'm like, you know, I'm in like a loose state. I'm like after doing crowd work

and then I start like into my bits, it just feels weird to do that much like improv and then do. Yeah, yeah. And then be like, well, let me come up with something that's not real at all. Yeah, you're like in the flow state.

Because even like when I'm doing the crowd work, it does come from real conversations and real stuff I'm talking about. So it feels it's just, it's also easier to make my life funnier than I think a made up one. Yeah, I, I, it seems more relatable. I feel like people are, especially women, are much more open.

Was it Louis C.K. who would just be like, oh, yeah, I just made up, like, everything. I don't know. Like, I think he would, like, tell jokes or tell a story about something that happened. And then it would be like, like, multiple times, then afterwards he'd be like, oh, yeah, no. Like, that was, none of that happened. I just made that up. Well, especially, yeah, that idea of, like, you know, such a huge story like that being fake kind of takes you out of it after, doesn't it? Yeah.

To me, I'm like, oh, okay. Well, so then what this is, you should write a short film. Yeah, yeah. Like a comic short film, maybe. Like, you're supposed to be vulnerable. Like that you should write a sketch, I think, is what you should be doing with that. Yeah. Technically, you've just pitched us a sketch.

That's kind of fun. Yeah, and like, love a sketch. But it is like, yeah, I can't. I can only, like the stand-up jokes I remember and go like, oh, this one is so funny are like either things that are like, yeah, this is a real story or just like someone phrasing something really fucking funny. Yeah. Anything Chris Fleming says.

I'm like, yeah, repeat that a million. He's so funny. I'm so glad he's, like, getting his moment. He's amazing. We were obsessed with him since high school, and we, one time through a party themed, do you remember his Gigi the Christmas snake sketch? Where it's like, he has this whole sketch that is like the new lore of Santa. Like, there's no Santa anymore. It's this thing called Gigi the Christmas snake.

And it's a song, it's like a six-minute long sketch that we were obsessed with when we were in high school. And, like, we made an entire party based on this. that instead of Christmas party, it was like it's just the lore of this sketch. And it was years after this sketch. It was like 10 years later. And we made everyone invited to the party, we were like, you have to dress like someone in the sketch. So you have to watch the sketch first. I'm so sorry. You just got to do it. And, and I liked having that amount of like, I just, that felt good to just be like amount of power. Not power. It's like that amount of, um, uh, because it sounds like I'm saying power. But like assuredness of just like, yeah,

You don't have to fucking come. You don't have to like this, but this is what we're doing. Yeah. And we both got to wear green morph suits. We both wore green face painting, green morphs suits. And we both vaped because that's all in the lore. But I feel like also people probably that did also like as much as you, that would have been a very fun time. Oh, yeah.

And people liked it even when they didn't know. Okay. Like they watched the sketch and they were like, well, yeah, objectively. Does he know you've done this? I think he might have been told once. Yeah. I think he might have liked the photo from the thing. But I also would not be.

It is kind of nice. I wouldn't be insulted or surprised if he was like, get the fuck away from me, I'm scared of you. Like, I complete, I have, I give freshman energy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, when I was a freshman in high school, the seniors were like, get the fuck away from me. And I was like, absolutely understand.

Coming on strong. So anytime someone feels that way, I'm like, I completely hear you. Someone dressed up like an old character of mine for this Halloween. Oh, and it was like, yeah,

yeah, this guy, Benny Barnip's, and it's bombed every single. I've reposted all time. it never gets more than like 13K. It bombs so bad. But they dress up like Benny and his wife, Maureen,

is just me in a different wig falling off a hammock. And it's, in my opinion, my best work. No one liked it. But they're like, we're Benny and Maureen. I go, no, we knew who you were. He goes, oh, no, we had to explain it and show the video all night. I'm like, well, thank you for finally giving the video views. I love that so much.

I took that as a huge compliment. It is. That means so much to me. Like, that means more than something getting huge numbers. just because like, oh, way better. Like, that's 100% someone that much and they thought it was that funny. They're like, I'm going to purposefully do this

knowing I'm going to be showing a video all right. We were the Australian twins from the news who speak in unison for Halloween this past year and we also had to bring the video around. And people, once they started seeing it, they were like, yes, I know what this is. I did that. I dressed up as, I don't know if you saw the clip of me,

Stavvy's podcast where he called me Bubulina. I was like this Greek Revolutionary War like lady and no one knew who I was, but the clip had gone more vows than any clip I've ever fucking posted. So all night I had to play the clip and they went, oh, that was you. And I'm like, that was me.

And I'm never doing this again. That's so good. Explaining a Halloween costume over cover. Yes, this was me. Very frustrated. Oh my God. That's so funny. I do love that so much.

Steph, you have a special. I do. Do you want to tell the people where they can find? Yes, on Netflix. There's some cucks who don't know where to find you. Tell the cucks. I'm on Netflix.

It's called Phil's Queen. watch it there. Come see me live. Don't heckle. Don't heckle. If you do, you'll be kicked out. Yeah, that's true. It's up to you. If you want to come and give your money and then simply leave, that's fine with me. I still get paid. I don't care. But yeah, come to me live. I'm massive tour right now. Well, that's not so fun. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. So fun. And I'm so happy that this was like a filth episode. I think it's just fun. It fits. I love it. I love it.

Fuck yeah. If you'd like to see more. of this or anything else. Uncut, uncensored, big dicks and khaki pants. We have everything on our Patreon. Go check out our Patreon. We do movie nights. We do Q&As. It's a very fun place to be.

And until next time, we'll see you next time. Until next time. We'll see you next time. Am I right? We'll see you next Tuesday. Free frame!