Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Rekha Shankar Is A SMARTYPANTS

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

Thank you to our Sponsors Everything420 & NOCD: ● Download the Everything420 app and use code SANDO for an extra 15% off. https://upf.ai/gd2ibqkq ● If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started at https://learn.nocd.com/SO. We're Going On Tour! https://linktr.ee/sydandolivialinks?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=af55f270-b21d-456e-812a-ef22a3bd9514 Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon & Fourthwall! https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia https://sydandolivia-shop.fourthwall.com/ Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Chapters 01:52 | Rekha Solves Global Warming 21:56 | Olivia Replaces Syd 38:23 | Syd Talks Safe Sex 52:08 | Rekha’s Film and Authentic Content Creation 01:07:00 | OCD and Awkward People This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes your Furby dances and then dies. No one knows why this is happening. Another point to think about if shaken too roughly, Furby can change personalities. So that could be sex. And then something else that you could kind of think about is due to hardware failure, Furby may think he's constantly being shaken. Another point kind of on this same wavelength is Furby can die seconds after waking up and it can't be fixed.

Something else to think about is sometimes Furby can go numb. Welcome to Sidney to Livey to Talk Shep. Side one. I'm a little of you one. Today we have a very special other one. This person is the hilarious comedian. This is Rakeshanker. Hi.

Gosh, how are you? I'm good. How are you guys? I'm good. I'm good. I'm awake today. Who knew? When I woke up, I did not think that was going to be the case.

I do think having it not be 103 degrees, not to be boring and talk about the weather, is actually very helpful. It is interesting how, like, we always say, like, oh, the most boring thing you can do is talk about the weather. but in reality, like the weather is getting more and more interesting. Yes. I think we need to take that judgment off of it. That's an outdated judgment. It is. It would have been a boring conversation in the 80s.

In the 80s. No longer small talk and it's now like, what are we all going to do about this? Right. It's now like, guys, we know how we're going to die. Let's talk about it. Yes. It's just a matter of when. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Hmm. Speaking of which, we do have a lot. some really fun bit. Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think let's just jump into the segments because how fun is that? And then after we do the segments, we can just all fuck around. I love that. So you host a show called Smarty Pants? I certainly do. And do you want to explain for the cucks who might not know what that? We always say for the cucks who don't know, please just like explain a bit.

Okay, if there's people cucking smarty pants but they don't know what it is, which is strange because I don't think you're cooking well. Yeah, you have to watch. You have to watch it. It's a PowerPoint presentation show. So people give kind of stupid TED talks. So they defend either a stupid idea or defend a very smart idea stupidly, I would say. Okay, that's a great idea. That's a really. Thank you. So because of that, we really wanted.

We got inspired. We wanted to see one of the PowerPoint presentations that you would make. Cool. Like, obviously, this is one that you've made. Yeah. You brought in one. Oh, right. I totally forgot I brought in one.

You brought in a PowerPoint presentation. You wrote and that we haven't seen because we didn't write it. Right. But you wrote it. And I'm presenting it. And you're presenting it. And we're so excited. I'm so excited to give you this idea too.

It's been something I've been cooking up for a while. Yeah. Good, good. Well, let's see Raika's PowerPoint presentation. I cannot wait for you to understand that global warming no more, a definitive plan for solving climate change. Oh. By me, Rekashanker.

Okay, that's really exciting and actually really top. This is something we could really use. I'm actually glad you've done this. Yeah. Okay. So what is global warming? First of all. Anyone?

That's such a good question. Is it a hoax? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought too. That's what I thought to. That's what I thought to till last night. No one really knows what it is exactly.

But research has shown it does feel worse in Los Angeles. Okay. Yeah. So this has come about because one of our many gods is mad at us. Okay. So some people think it might be science, but it's actually kind of a divine intervention. Oh. We've done something to anger their gods.

Yeah, and which do you think there's any God specifically? I think foremost Jesus is man. Right. Yeah. And I think his father is mad. Uh-huh. I think they live near the sun. So they feel pretty upset that it's getting hotter because it affects them.

Yeah. Right. And in my mind, it's like if a parent, if you like a kid and you do something bad and your parent punishes you and it's like, I'm locking up the TV. Yeah. They're kind of punishing themselves. That's what I feel like is happening. That's so true. They're like, all right, you have to be hot now.

And they're like, we have to be hot. Yeah. Because we turn the temperature up in the sun. Wow, that's such a good point. No one talks about that. Yeah. So fucking annoying. So how do we fix this global problem?

Well, I-Racon Shanker have devised the perfect plan to put an end to climate change and protect our planet for generations to come. Here is an in-depth step-by-step breakdown. Wow, I can't believe you did all this. I did it. All right. So step one, you're aware of Germany, I'm sure. Yes, actually recently. Recently.

I recently became aware. Same. Yeah. What's with that? Many scientists have wondered what is up with Germany, but no one's been able to answer it. But in reality, Germany has a good idea. Yeah. So you're aware of the Chattelotubbies?

Yes. Yeah, recently. Recently aware, too. So in that show, we all know the sun is a baby. Oh my God. Wait. Yeah. That's so true.

So German scientists have concoct an idea. We need to switch the sun out for a baby. because the sun's too old so it got too hot because babies cannot be be hot. Bingoes can't Bingoes can't be hot. Bingoes can't be hot. Bingoes is my nameo. Bingoes is my name oh babies can't be hot. And that's what I've always. That's why babies are all swaddled. They can't be hot. You can put as many

blankets as you want on a baby and should and it'll never get hot. This is also an argument against the substance. Oh, what? Go on. Because in the movie the substance, they're saying when you age, you become less hot. But actually, when you age, you become far more hot, hence the sun. Yeah. Yeah. They might not have met the fucking sun.

Yeah. And people say the sun is dying. But the sun is still pretty fucking hot for, what, 85 year old? And it's like dying because it's old. Yeah, the sun's only 85, I think. But here's the thing is like when you're dying, you can still be hot. And no one talks about that. And nobody talks about that, what?

Because it sounds a woman. Fuck my life. Sometimes when you're in hospice, you're feeling your absolute best. When I am about to die, I just want everyone to think this is the sexiest she's ever been. When I'm in hospice. I'm looking to be snatched. Yes. Oh my God, yes. I'm looking to be put upright.

Yes. So you can see the curse, your ass hanging out of the hospital gown. Absolutely. Huge if true. Oh, my God. Huge of true. Huge if I have. People will say when they see your ass. Huge if I have an open casket viewing.

I want people to be turned on. Yeah. I'll probably be cremated and you better believe if there is not a drop of witness in the front row, I'm going to be pissed. And there is no being hotter than being cremated. That's what I'm saying. Okay.

So you guys get the first. Well, you really got the first step. Yeah. Step one is great. Okay. I'm locked in. Thank you. Step two.

Okay. So we're kind of sold this bill of goods that if you eat well, you'll be healthy, right? Yeah. No. Wrong. We need injections. Yeah.

Eating healthy doesn't do shit. I've always said that yet. How many times have you eaten unhealthy and had something bad happen to you? Never. Almost never. Never. Wait, that's so true. I actually can't tell you how many times I've gotten diarrhea from a salad.

Yeah. This is true. Especially now. Especially now. Especially now. People are seeing what I've always said. I'm a vegetarian for research purposes. I've been a vegetarian since I was 11.

I can confirm eating healthy doesn't do anything. Yep. We need to be doing more injections. So this is what kind of stunk about COVID. The only thing that's stunk about COVID is people were anti-vax. I don't care about the COVID. vaccine. I don't care about COVID. I have it. Right. We all have it. We all have it. And we're all going to give it to you at home.

I don't know. Deal with that. But we could be doing injections of vitamin B. We could be doing injections of testosterone. Anything you find. All these serums and potions are good for you. Yes. And needles are okay to reuse. I'm literally, okay. It is so sick. We live in a country that makes you recycle a of gatorie, but won't let you recycle a needle? Yeah. What's more expensive? Yeah. Oh my God, so true.

What's worth reusing? Yeah. And then I guess quick question is like how does how is this step two of solving climate change? Because if we're healthier. Right. We can help switch out the sun. Absolutely. Oh, because we're bigger stronger.

Oh, it's for manpower. I see, I see, I see. Germany came up with the idea, but we all need to. help Germany. Yeah, no, that's so true. And we always need to all help Germany, really. Germany needed a ton of mental health. They need help right now, I've heard, actually. I've heard for the first time in a hot sec, they need some help. They, I've heard they're coming back. So I read an article this morning. Yeah. Germany put in a couple calls to better help. Yeah. Oh. Which I think you guys advertised that. Well, of course, of course, a sponsor.

We can. Now it's starting now. Yeah. Now it's a sponsor. They put out a little asked to better help. I said, you're struggling. We've been struggling. We've been struggling. since we've been struggling since World War II we've been struggling because they were like we made a mistake now we've been struggling and I'm like

shame complex right like a lot of shame and I think shame is valid 100% and that shame is very valid I'm really ashamed of that much so I'm glad they're reaching out for help and they're like I wanted to be a big

tough guy and say I could last of the sun myself but I'm going to need help from strong people 100% so we all need to be taking testosterone. Okay, the next one. So, yeah. This is just in case. Oh, step study is just in case.

It's a fail-safe step. This is just in case. You know when you're in a group project situation. And someone is being pissy and it kind of seems like they're trying to self-sabot. And it's like, that's your grade on the line.

Oh, you want me to do your whole project while you go get your nails done with the rest of the group. And I do the whole project for literally the whole group of all five of us, that happened to me. That's sick. Yeah, they all got their nails done together. They were my friends. That's disgusting.

The whole project. Anyway. Now the sun can shoot you. If you're working against it, the sun can shoot you. Because I think the sun wants to be swapped out. It's chopped. It's chopped. The sun is done.

The sun is tired. She's 85. She's like, let me get my retirement life. She's sexy. She's tired. So we want to swap it out with a baby. But in case you are kind of doing the lasso and you're like, not pulling your weight, you can get shot.

Okay. And so is this meaning like the telitubbies will be on standby to get shot to shoot you? I didn't want to show a picture of the baby's son because it would hurt your eyes and nobody hears wearing her sunglasses. So this is sort of my metonymy for the sun. Yeah, okay, got it. Okay, that makes sense. That makes sense. You're sort of like, yeah.

You can get shot. Yeah, that makes sense. Stuff four. Yeah. If the shooting doesn't work, you go to jail. No, that's true. That's the felicit for the filth. Some people are very strong and so shooting doesn't work.

Yeah, resisted to bullet. doesn't pierce skin so strong. This has happened to me where I'm too muscular so the bullet doesn't do anything. Oh my God, that's so annoying. If that were me, it's literally so annoying. Yeah. Because I think I'm all prepped to be shot. Oh my God.

And you have to psych yourself out. You have to be like, okay. I'm about to die. Yeah, you're going through your whole, like, thinking about all of the people you've ever loved, all of the experiences you've ever been through. Right. It's a end of the Jersey tunnel. Not even going to die?

Shot in the neck. It bounces off. Mm-hmm. And it disintegrates on the ground. So feel safe as jail. Okay. Okay. Okay.

You go to jail. not lasting the sun to try to protect the climate to switch it out with the baby's in. Okay, so this makes perfect sense. So, teamwork, step five. So this is the ultimate fail save. It's two steps and three fail safes. Because I don't know what mood you're going to be in the day we have to last of the sun. We're still determining what the best day is.

Probably a few days ago. But if everyone has kind of given up and says this is too heavy, we're too weak. We haven't taken enough shots of whatever. Yeah. We just have to kill the Earth. And that's, you know what, a good fail safe. I will say it does fix the climate change problem in that there's no climate. Exactly.

No change. The two options are you get a baby sun and then we're okay. It's a very moderate amount of heat. Or just kill the Earth. You can shoot it straight through the center. Earth has weak skin. Oh, so you can shoot it straight through the center and then it dies. Okay, that's good to know.

Okay. Good to know. this is really making me feel a lot better. Yeah? Yeah. I think is there something else after this? Yeah. Oh.

So this is just. Wow. So what exactly did you mean by this? Click to add to its whole. Yeah. And then three. This is kind of my idea for what happens if we have to kill the earth. Okay.

So it's more like oops. This is, so what it is, disregard the emotion you're interpreting from it. That's you. That's a, that's a difference. I don't interpret oops. that's a me problem. That's who you problem. I interpret hooray from this.

Oh. What do you interpret? I definitely, I think kind of like, uh-oh, I'm with this guy. Yeah. Like getting caught. And who's he pointing to? The cold play kiss cam couple.

Yeah. He could be pointing to the cold play kiss cam couple. I think he's pointing to himself. Oh, because they're three of him. Yeah. Because there are three of him. What emotion is he feeling at himself? So you said it was like a,

oopsie or something. I don't see that. I'm seeing celebration. I have to really rethink myself. So then if he, so he's celebrating himself. He's saying, I've done well. I've done well. I think what we're pointing towards is a new earth here. Oh, that's beautiful. And I think it could be smart to start with three sons in a way of different ages so that you can swap them out when one starts to get. You just don't have to do this lasso thing again. You can, yeah, kind of like switching out a battery. Like if you're like charging a battery for like a camera or something and then you switch it out. Why can we reuse batteries but we can't reuse needles? Oh my God. That's so true. And it all comes back to that really. It does. It does. So you might have thought that was done. That's your,

that's on you. That's something you interpreted. That is on me. Let's get into the nitty gritty. Does it still not make sense to you? I'm trying really hard. I'm trying to I want to get into it. Okay. Okay. Let's get into it. I don't think you get it. I don't think you get it, Olivia. SIDS on board. Yeah, no, I got it. What's with you? I think I'm, I have, maybe it's a projection thing.

It could be that I have. You have been projecting. I think I've been projecting. I think I'm feeling kind of not great. Yeah. Oh. I think I'm taking that out on your plan. Yeah.

And projecting like, like, you know, the oopsie thing, for example, huge mistake on my part. Yeah, you're not confident. Huge mistake on my part. And I think it's because I've been looking at myself and thinking, oopsie, because of certain things I've done recently. Crimes. Well, can I... Misdemeanors. Do you have examples? Streaking. Yeah.

Looting. Nothing that bad. Yeah. Nothing that bad. Yeah. Streaking and looting? Not that bad. Fine. Fine. Who cares? But I'm, I'm, I'm hard on myself. Does that make sense? I have a question. Do you sometimes like a little teeny tiny bit of marijuana? Literally always. Can we talk about how we talk about how we? weirdly intimate going to a smoke shop can be? Yeah, it really is. When people are like, what kind of strain do you like? I'm like, why don't you leave me alone and let me pick something myself? Yeah, sometimes I just kind of want to look around without someone standing three feet away

from me going like, what is it you're looking for? Yeah, this is supposed to be for my relaxation, so let me relax. Let me browse. That's why we love everything 420. You download the app and you just scroll in peace. They've got flour, edibles, vapes, accessories. All the major brands you already know love and trust. Plus, a bunch of stuff you didn't even know you needed until you saw it. And their prices are kind of unbeatable. They always have deals going on. So definitely check the app before you buy anything. Then use our code S&O to get an extra 15% off your order. You order right through the app and it shows up fast and discreetly. Because we love our privacy, right? It's nobody's business what we're in too. Honestly, the smoke shop has officially entered its online shopping era. Download the

Everything 420 app and use code Sando Sando for an extra 15% off. Everything 420. Everything for your sash, right on your phone. 21 plus only. In this episode, we've talked a lot about intrusive thoughts. Yeah, an intrusive thought pattern that's been happening a lot recently for me is we've had a little bit of bad luck recently. And I, for some reason, I can't accept that it's bad luck. And so there's a part of my brain that's trying to figure out what I did comically to cause it and listing every single thing I've done that it might have been and trying to figure out which things were the worst and which things were okay and which things caused the bad karma and how to fix it and how to undo it. And if it's unfixable. So I've been doing that a lot. And for a lot of people, that is not just anxiety. That's

OCD. And most of them have no idea. In media, a lot of the times the way OCD is portrayed is as being like too clean, too organized, but that's not always the way OCD presents itself. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character. Along with mental or physical behaviors you do to get relief. Even when it never actually comes. These thoughts can feel very real, and that's what makes it so upsetting. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, No CD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at nocd.com. I'm going to answer your question with a question.

Yeah. Does that make sense? Holy shit. So part of this presentation, obviously is I'm giving you a climate change plan, but part of it is also we need to be a little empathetic in what is going on. Like climate change consent seems like we're villainizing the sun. Yeah. But like, girl, we get it, right?

Yes. You're saying you feel Unconfident. How do you think she feels when we're talking about her Like she's some big dumb bitch That's making the earth hot. Wow. Does that make sense?

You never think about it from the sun's point of view. And that is like really not okay. Everyone on Earth, because everyone believes in climate change, is talking shit about the sun. Because she's a woman? It's narcissistic. It's because she's a woman. It's like centering ourselves.

When in reality the sun is the center. Of the universe. Of the universe. The sun is the center. Of the universe. of the universe. Of the universe. And that's true.

And that is the center. And that is damn true. That's on God. And I have one more thing to say. Yeah. Oh, it's a math problem. Is it? Yeah.

Oh, I guess that's true. That's projecting. I didn't think about it from the sun's suspecting. You're projecting. This is something, this is again when I'm saying, the sun wouldn't understand this. Right. Think about that. This is just an example of something the sun wouldn't understand.

Right. 14 plus 12 equals 26. But the son never went to school. The son would understand. And can you imagine, it's so fucking sad. The son never got to go to school because it sounded to be the son. Yeah. A woman pulled out from like first grade. To take care of everyone.

Not even a woman yet. A girl hasn't even grown into her son. Parenthified child. Exactly. And doesn't even understand math. And I am in fact proposing. we do it again because I did suggest we get a babysat. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

But sometimes that's what we have that empathy for the plans we're doing. Exactly. You can have a sacrifice and have empathy for it. Yeah. So the idea is we're going to put a child in this position, but we will feel empathetic towards the child. Kind of like child stars. Yeah.

Put a child in a movie. You go, I'm going to enjoy Home Alone. Yeah. Will this have lasting effects on McCauley? Probably. Yes. He'll write a think piece about it in 20 years and I'll feel bad, but I'll keep going. So here's the thing is, I'm really looking forward.

I'm really looking forward to seeing the sun's substack. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But in the meantime, let's just have empathy for the sun. Is there anything else? Yes. Oh. So you see that we can do these things.

We can do all these things for climate change to stop it, right? But we have to maintain empathy. That's right. You know what I'm saying. So you see. I see now. So you see. So you see. And next slide.

I am Rekashunker and I approve this message. Great picture. That's really. Thank you. Kind of telitubby in my own right. Yeah, actually. You actually look like you are being shining on by the sun. It's giving dipsy in the best way.

Okay. Do you see what a baby sun could look like? Just like a little heavenly glow. Just like a little fall temperature outside from a little baby sun. Beautiful. Let's put that baby to work. Wow, good job, guys. Thank you.

Wow, that was so, so good. I learned so much. I'm glad. Thank you guys for listening. Oh my God. It's also like it's insane that you have come up with a plan for climate change and you're premiering it here, a podcast that no one listens to. Well, you know, I thought that maybe I could help you guys. Yeah, it's so true.

Well, this would be huge. If this, if this can boost this podcast, that's huge. Yeah. Get freaking nascent on Fauci when you're real nervous, you know. Yeah. The main. Your reviews. I know, right.

Um, Olivia, I think you, didn't you bring in a competition too? Oh, okay. Yeah, I totally forgot, but I did bring in one that I wrote and I have seen. I think you wrote it also. I wrote it and I've seen it. That's awesome. Yeah, so I'm excited to tell you that's all about it. Yeah, because I think following the like, you know, how do we fix climate change is something that.

Yeah, of course, in search of, uh-oh. Okay, so this is my PowerPoint. In search of a Cid replacement by Olivia. And then there's a picture of me and my best friend flipping off the camera and a circle over her face blocking it out. Whoa. Something I always try to do that says this could be you. Huh. Okay.

Well, I think we should. Okay, let's see the next slide. Okay. So the thing is, I need to replace Sid because of the allegations. It's not really because of anything I don't like about her. I personally am a huge fan of the allegations, but I'm also trying to sociopathically rise in the industry and cut off anyone who's ever done anything wrong. What allegation? I also made a lot of allegations about Sid last summer.

Okay. These are allegations you made. I made, yes. So I made all the allegations, but now those allegations are coming back to make me look bad because I'm, like, associated with her. And it's a lot of, like, yeah, a lot of handcuff-related allegations. What are, I don't read the smut section. What are, what are some of the allegations? Well, I, uh, I, I, I, I alleged, allegedly, she not only stole my handcuffs.

She stole my other pair of handcuffs. She ate my handcuffs. She handcuffed me to a moving car. After she ate them? Well, I have a lot of pairs of handcuffs. Um, because she keeps, she keeps allegedly stealing them. Or I keep losing them, but I'm not sure. Um, and, uh, I can, this is like really fucked up for you to bring them.

I um yeah I I I just I feel like I don't know see yeah next slide right so what I'm looking for yeah right here's what I'm looking for okay so right so what I'm looking for is gonna be like sort of like if Ellen was like a batty um like if Ellen was like a Olivia like a like a like a Her volitious... Don't you know she was canceled? Okay. Well, but every... Okay.

Okay. So here's the thing. If Ellen wasn't canceled. You want a version of Ellen that wasn't canceled. If Ellen looked like this, she would not have been canceled. That could take. I mean, I don't know that... That's a take.

That could be true. If Ellen wore a, like, little batty two-piece and a little Gucci bag, the neon pink Gucci bag and was always like, I like she looks like it's giving like the the pink blush song in a good way and I feel like she would have a chiller vibe that people would be like actually I kind of fuck with this and if she was mean to people they'd be like oh my god you're being like a bitch and you're crazy they wouldn't be like you're being very like I think there would be a there would be a funness to it There's an expectation if someone's wearing leopard print that they might be a little mean to me. Yeah.

In a fun way. Yeah. In like kind of a brassy way. Exactly. It would be brasser. It would be she's too buttoned up. So when she's mean, it's like, ooh, I take this very serious. It's like a business person being mean to you.

It's scary and bad. There is a reason that all of the real housewives of New Jersey wear leopard print. And it's so that hopefully when they're angry and mean, they don't go to prison. Yes. But Teresa still ended up in prison. Yeah. Because of tax evasion. She's still in prison?

No, she's out now. She's out now and she's going to take a girl's trip. Oh, huge. And it's huge. And it's an amazing season. Yeah. So like if Ellen was a baddie, I would say something like that maybe is something I could be looking for. And I want to point out to light switch on, fan off, no stinky poop.

Wow. That's huge. Her poops are not even stinky. Wow. And that would make, that would be huge for me. That's what you're looking for. That's what I'm looking for. What else are you looking for?

In a co-host. Okay, so in a co-host, I'm mostly looking for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Hmm. Like, kind of smaller, baddy ellens as well. So, a love in a chair. Stacked in a chair. So, like, one normal size one, like one big one. Normal, like adult sized.

Yeah. Yeah. And then 10 that are about a fifth of that size, stacked on top of each other in a chair. Is there a reason? Yeah, what? Well, the podcast, right, it's like, it's a lot of talking over each other. And sometimes I wake up and it's early in the morning. I haven't taken my Adderall yet.

I'm a little bit tired. Sometimes just I spew garbage out of my mouth and I watch it back and I go like, that wasn't even interesting, Olivia. Nothing you said was interesting, you dumb bitch. So if there were 11 Badi Ellen's, the rhythm of the podcast could keep up with everyone talking over each other, saying different things, kind of the chaos of it, but I wouldn't have to do as much work. Sure. That makes sense. And I guess, and I guess having 11 of one person would be an interesting thing to have all of them speaking.

It could get you the viewership you guys are looking for because you're not there. I'm not there. I'm not there. No, you're not there. And yeah. So let's see what's next. In addition, right, to that, right? Okay. So in, so in addition, it's going to be like probably 15 more Ellen's the same size as the 10. Let's see. One, two, three, four, five. I literally can't believe you brought this in. And then, yeah, it's something like 15.

It's something like 15. An uncountable. Yeah, like an uncountable. And what I really want, in addition, obviously, to all of the Ellen's is a long towel. See, I want her to have the longest towel, which I've kind of created here. You want to replace me with a long towel? Wait, this makes sense. Once the things...

Wait, let her call. I have known Sid since we were like 15. And at no point have I ever been like dripping wet out of the pool and she has come over and wrapped herself around me and absorbed the moisture literally even once. Wow. And not saying everyone has to do that. But if I'm... If you don't communicate that that's what you need in a friendship, how can I do that? I can't believe you couldn't tell that's what I need.

Oh my fucking God This is tough So yeah I need a really long towel as well Oh my fucking God We're gonna have to go to therapy Yeah And of course as well

Right So this is kind of what I'm hoping For us to be I don't loves iPhones Right To me This is like the new Sit and Olivia talk shit

Like I Oh I see so you're George Bush I'm George W Bush eating The hot one Something. Yeah.

And then I'm Ellen. And I am going to, I'm going to do a huge meme when 9-11 happens. I'm going to be part of one of the biggest memes. Mm-hmm. And, oh, a big selfie 9-11 meme. Yeah, just like the, like I'll do that, you know? Yeah, yeah, cool. And then it'll be the big selfie.

Yeah, like the bathroom, yeah. And then in this image, your fingers are in your mouth and my eyes are closed while trying to look at a phone. Yeah. And my thought is what's good is, um, is that it's kind of like the podcast. Totally. Oh, I would say this whole podcast is your fingers in your mouth. My eyes closed while trying to go out. I put my fingers in my mouth while spacing out, right? Yeah. And then you are reading things off your phone and you're going, I can't see. I can't see. And it's because your eyes are closed and I can't tell because I'm not paying attention. Right. Right. Right. Right. Because I just got told about 9-11. Right.

I don't want to run. Fuck. You just got told about 9-11s, you can't focus. Literally just now. Literally just now. I just found out we were celebrating 25 years of it. In a past, you'll have to wait until next year. Celebrating.

Yeah, that's what J.D. Vance said. He said, we are celebrating. He did. Yeah, he did. And we were like, that's the most insane way to phrase that. Happy birthday, 9-11. This is not like it happens every year. Finally, you can rent a car.

Yeah. Yeah, so this would sort of be like a rebrand. of idea of the podcast. It's like this sort of vibe. And maybe we're watching a live sport. Okay. But what should, but why should you apply to this position? I'd love to know. That's such a good question. You're opening it up for applications. Just think about it. Just think about it. Okay. Upward mobility. I don't care how good his paintings are. He still belongs in prison. That is a headline, uh, of a, of a picture of George W. Bush, with his dog paintings and what I'm really, oh, hi.

We've got a dog in the office. Yeah, she did not like the use of dog paintings. So this is sort of what I'm hoping my upward mobility will be like. I'm hoping that I can start doing art and evade prison, even though everyone's against it. Oh, that is upward mobility. I want people to be like, to go from criminal to paint. That bitch belongs in prison, and I'm going to be like, I don't know what you're talking about. It's actually kind of a reverse Hitler.

Hitler was, go. Oh, wow. It's a criminal. This is criminal to painter. Oh, my God. Have we ever thought about how George W. Bush is reverse Hitler? If you don't get caught, you can just become a painter. And when you, it's so, I'm an freaking idiot.

When you say reverse Hitler, so weird, the first thing that comes to mind is not switching the order in which he painted. Sure, sure. She then committed mass genocide. And you know what? I would say that's like a big note on that term, which is probably why I'm going to have to rework it. But I think we're cooking. This is blue sky phase. This is blue sky phase.

Absolutely. Throwing spaghetti at a wall. Yeah. So this is my goal for the next 10 years term from criminal to painter and have everyone be mad about it. Yeah. And then of course, payment. Right. So the payment will be your nervous system.

Oh. As you can see here. get it back? I need to be paid in your nervous system. Oh, crap. So, yeah, just as long as you're essentially codependent to me, as long as my feelings and actions control how you feel and how your nervous system is. And if you're in fighter flight, that's kind of, we're a little bit codependent. Okay. If she doesn't text me back, sometimes I'll go like, oh, no, is she mad at me? I'll start to feel like a nervous system thing. And then I have to remind myself, probably not. We talk every day and you maybe are just putting too much energy into this and you know you shouldn't just chill

out and I think I need that from someone else yeah I need to con I need to have my actions that I'm just doing in my day kind of be affecting your nervous is okay totally controlling how you I think that would totally happen the payment is to you yeah okay okay no no yeah you have to pay me to be my you're applying to the job and then you're paying me yeah right right right no yeah it's my powerpoint yeah let her Yeah. Let her cook. Yeah, of course. Health insurance is chlorox, right?

You said already, you said it. We should be injecting ourselves with more shit. Right. Chlorox, awesome shit, awesome thing to inject yourself with a used needle. Right. Did Donald Trump say inject yourself with chlorox? I think he wanted you to drink it. I think he did.

Yes. He said something about. Because it'll kill the COVID. Yeah. And it might kill the COVID. And it might, which is what we should all take it. Prove it won't. Yeah, prove it won't.

So your health insurance, don't. Don't worry. We've got you covered. Everyone gets a bottle of chlorox. Disinfecting bleach and plus. Plus. Oh, my God. God. I forgot about it. Have you seen Batty Ellen? I forgot. I forgot being caught your mind. Yeah. Oh, my God. Right. Yeah. But how do you apply for it? Anyway. No, you might be asking. Is this still going? Yes. But how do you apply for this position? 9-11. Wait, you just found out about that. I'm so curious.

Sure, maybe call 911. Maybe that's what I'm saying. Maybe 9-11. Maybe that's what I'm saying. That's up to you to decide. You can choose your own application. Maybe you call 911 and try to apply for the role and see if that goes well. Your new schedule, right?

3 a.m. Wake up sweating. Nervous system. Nervous system. Jacked. APM tears. Nervous system, jacked. Whoa.

4 a.m. Uh-oh time. Okay, crazy because I was having an oopsie moment, which I was projecting earlier. Yes. This is me actually writing it into the PowerPoint I wrote. It's uh-oh time. Yeah. Seven pen, get all disregulated.

Yeah. Yeah. With seven pen. And I appreciate you laying out the schedule so that I kind of know what I front-loaded my day with. end my day with and then I kind of know it's a it's a 48 hour schedule so at 3 a.m. you wake up sweating 8 p.m. at night tears 4 a.m. the next morning out of time 7 pen get all dysregulated and 7 pen is what? 7 pen right is the yeah next day 7 pen isn't that wait a minute is 7 pen just down the street from the white house because that's like 1600 pen yes 7 Penn is very far down

the street from 16 actually really really far really far it's actually mile but that's where you go to get all dysregulated Virginia it's past easy so the first three are times the second and the fourth is a location okay god and that's where you go to get all dysregulated yes of course yes i would get so dysregulated if i had to leave dc i'd be totally dysregulated oh right and then of course pm tears which makes sense because you'll already be dysregulated yeah right great okay that makes sense and then oh yeah right sorry right and then 10 a m chacha real smooth duh right is kind of i think the highlight of the day duh out of all of these out of these it seems to be only.

I would say out of all of these stunts for sure. I would say, yeah, I would say, I would say if I had to rank these, cha-cha real smooth, uh-oh, time, wake up sweating, get all disregulated, tears, tears. Have you ever done a cha-cha chunky? What?

Have you ever done a cha-cha chunky? No. Instead of smooth. Cha-cha real chunky. Wait, we should. You should try cha-taing real chunky. I would cha-cha-cha-re real chunky. anytime you guys want to.

Cha, yeah, real chunky. Tunky. It's just way, like, more. Yeah, that's why he clarifies. It needs to be real smooth. It's just at her people were doing it like this. Yeah, yeah.

And he was like, probably not that. Probably a little more smooth. Oh, crap. It's like when you don't realize you have to clarify something. Oh, I meant smooth. Sorry. Sorry, I meant smooth.

You guys were doing this kind of wonky, crazy style. You guys are doing like a crunchy version. Okay, so interested in applying? Call 911. use the code Sando at checkout for 6, 7%. Okay, and there's Ellen in the mirror. Yeah. I forgot about those.

Is that, and is that it? Of course it is. Because I made it. That was really beautiful. Thank you. I thought, you know, I might as well just stop keeping it in. I will say like, you know, was I heard at first? Yes, absolutely.

But when I see your points, I understand. Yeah. And I like, and I'm maybe I'll apply. Yeah. Oh my God. I would love for you too. Yeah. Fresh start.

Maybe I'll apply. Wait, call 911 right now. And I'll use Essie and Oa at checkout for six, seven percent. And what are you checking out? That's a great question. You're checking me out. That's a great question. Okay, well, that was, I'm so glad I got to share that.

That was awesome. You guys both made such gorgeous PowerPoint presentation to share with the class. I feel bad that you didn't make one. Did you? No, I didn't. I didn't make one. Oh, didn't Sid make one that she made? Did I? Oh. Oh, I did. Oh, okay. All right. That's awesome. That's so crazy. I feel like I'm going to school here. I'm so excited to learn what you have to say. Wow. It's so crazy. safe sex, how to do it, and what it is, good or bad, by Sudney Heller. Okay, this is great. Okay.

So I guess something that everyone is always asking me, kind of on a day-to-day basis, what is safe sex? I recently found out that 89% of adults have never heard of safe sex, and most of them are me. So what is safe sex? My guess is, in order to understand, we first have to ask ourselves two questions, which I'm going to map out for you. Right. Okay. What is safe and what is sex? Okay. Okay. Lots of people don't know that.

Yeah. So what is safe? Okay, good news. Right? Yeah. What is safe? What does the sunny getaway with Air Canada sound like? Sunny Jamaica moves to its own rhythm. Rio comes alive long after the sun goes down. Philippines slows everything down.

And just when you think you've heard it all, there's sunny Lima. However you imagine your sunny escape, Air Canada can take you there. Book hot fairs and vacation packages today. Nice travels. Doesn't exist. Not in this fucking world. Oh, no. Can't be.

Uh-oh. Anytime you try to be safe, the world will sneak up on you and say, danger time. Yeah. And that's kind of what I mean by this X. Yeah. this X symbol. Is that an X symbol? What do you call that?

A circle slash? I'd say no. No. It's a no symbol or something. That's kind of what I mean by the no-no. Yeah. You'll never be safe even when you are promised. Yes.

There isn't. There isn't safe. There is no safety. Yeah. Not a shred of it in this universe. Okay. Now, it's time to talk about sex. Yeah.

What is sex? See, this is a question I scream at my ceiling. until my lungs go broke. Every day. It's why I get so many noise complaints. They go, are you having loud sex? I go, no, I'm screaming at my ceiling saying, what is sex until my lungs go? And to be honest, if I'm your upstairs neighbor and I hear downstairs someone going, what is sex, what is sex?

I'm not thinking they're having sex. No, unless I'm crazy. Unless I'm crazy. I'm not having sex and going, what is this? Well, it could be a kink. Who knows, you know? Oh, confused king. Confused king.

I don't. I don't. Yeah, you're having sex with someone. They go, what is this? What is this? What is this? And they're kind of like freaking out. Yeah, that's not.

That would be tough for me. If it's all consensual. If everyone's down, whatever, man. I don't want to king shame. I'm not kingshaming, but it's not. I'm scared of that one for me personal. Maybe not for me, but if everyone is consenting. So something I want to bring up to you is sex can look like many different things, right?

We kind of think of sex in one particular way. Sometimes they can have deep voices for no apparent reason. Sometimes you'll furby dances and then dies. No one knows why this is happening. Another point to think about if shaken two rough, Firmie can change personalities. So that could be sex. And then something else that you could kind of think about is due to hardware failure,

Furby may think he is constantly being shaken. Another point kind of on this same wavelength is Furby can die seconds after waking up. And it can't be fixed. Something else to think about is sometimes Furby can go numb. So Furby is kind of like a Furby, right? Oh, this is a real Furby? Yeah. Because I saw Furby dances and dies.

I went, oh, we all have that happen. Furby dancing and dies. And I think Furby go numb. There's a classic misconception that sex takes place with your genitals. Right. But it doesn't necessarily have to. What happens if you have a Furby? Yeah, that's true.

You're crying. I have crying. So the thing about it is that sometimes you need to think about your Furby's involvement in your sex. Oh, God. Nope, no, don't keep shame. Sorry. So, okay, sometimes it picks up, so remember when your Furby sometimes picks up the messes or the radio frequency. That could be sex. Here's another example of sex. Furby sometimes uses its mouth as its eyes or its eyes as its mouth. Sometimes when you're having sex, you think, oh, I'm using my genitals as my genitals. But what if your Furby is using its eyes as its mouth as its mouth? Have you thought about that? It's kiss me with its eyes. Or it's looking at me with its mouth. Another thing that sex can kind of look like is Furby can sometimes emit. It's kiss me with its eyes. It's or it's a mouth is a mouth. Another thing that sex can kind of look like is Furby can sometimes emit. a mysterious high-pitched beeping noise

at a high-hertz level. Some babies' internals may dysfunction. So sometimes when you're having sex, you're kind of like, why is there a high-pitched beeping noise coming out of my Furby? And are some babies' internals may dysfunction? And when that's happening, that's normal. That's normal.

That's just sex. Yeah. Really? It's a good thing to think about. And another thing about sex is the ears are easy to pull off. When I have sex, the ears are easy to pull off. But you can put them back on as well. Really?

Furby can make a click sound as well. Okay. Next slide. So this is Guy Fieri holding an electric guitar with some interesting tempura rolls on it. And he's kind of serving it up, serving up the temporal rolls on his electric guitar, looking at us in kind of a come hither vibe. So something, that's kind of a metaphor, right? What I wanted to say here is that America, which can only really be shown as Guy Fierry.

Of course. America is going to tell you, hey, come here, try my tempura. Yeah. Come try my tempura. It's going to be safe. Safe. Everything's going to be good. But it's not always safe.

Sometimes there's a shrimp tail in it and you can't eat the shrimp tail. You have to make sure that you're pulling the shrimp out. Especially if you're a little dog. Especially if you're a little dog. So kind of the idea is America is going to tempt you into having unsafe sex, but you have to stop, pull the shrimp tail out of your mouth and say, no, I'm doing this safe style. Even though safety doesn't exist? Safety doesn't exist, but you have to aim to find it. Okay, okay, that's huge.

That's the big thing. Okay. Yep. So this is kind of, who is this? This Jar Jar Jar Jar Banks. Yeah. So this is Jar Jar Banks with a gun. And sometimes what you're going to think when you're on the quest for safe sex.

Yeah. You're going to say, I've given up. Safety doesn't exist and therefore safe sex can't exist. Yeah. Can't. You told me. Yeah, I told you earlier. And therefore I'm going to trust the person with the PowerPoint.

But this is a warning. Never trust. Oh, yeah. We're not even safe now. No. No. So Jar Jar Banks is kind of warning you with a gun to not trust the person who made this PowerPoint.

Oh, and Jarja Banks is pointing the gun most directly at me. Yeah. And this is kind of saying like, yes, while this person has told you that safety isn't real and sex isn't what you think it is, don't trust me for a fucking second. Okay. This is very fight club. Yes. Oh my God, it really is. Don't trust me for a second.

He has human hands also. Yes, he looks sexy. He looks kind of hot. I've never seen him look hot before. And he has, did he always have teeth? I don't know. He should. He should.

It's working. Yeah. Those teeth are working. It could be veneers. Okay. So then, okay. So then this is an image of when Mr. Bean at the end of the live action Scooby-Doo, Scrappy Do comes out of his chest.

And then he revealed that he was kind of like a robot the whole time. And I guess the reason that's in this is because you'll never forget. your first sexual fantasy. 100%. And mine personally, Mr. Bean's face coming off, Scrappy Dew coming out of his chest, revealing he's been a robot the whole time. Absolutely. So even if you can't be partaking in safe sex in the out universe,

you can be thinking about your sexual fantasy in your mind palace. And that, is that safe or no? Your brain is always safe unless it isn't. Right, right. Oh, that's so comforting. And put that on a T-shirt for sure. Your brain is always safe unless it isn't. Sometimes I don't know who I am.

So this is something I like to think about at the end of every PowerPoint. It's like, sometimes I don't know who I am. So in this moment, would we all be able to take this moment of silence to kind of think about, who am I? Okay. So what is HPV? So HPV, I actually recently was diagnosed with HPV. Oh, no. All good, queens.

So what is it? And this is a question I'd be asking Kaiser Permanente, right? Yeah. They say there's a lot of different strands. They say HPV stands for horrible penis vagina. And it is a disease that affects everyone all of us. Wow.

There are a lot of downsides of HPV. And it affects everyone all of us. And there are different strands. And I need you to know that some of the strands are bad vibe. And we said strands, not even strains? Oh, no, it's not strands. Now there's strands. It's actually strands like of hair.

Yuck. Yuck. So if you is kind of like a collection of hair strands inside of you that are a bad style. So now I'm going to describe all the upsides of HPV, right? Because you know all of the downsides. So many. But now I'm going to explain all the upsides of horrible penis vagina. So here are all the upsides.

One, when you have HPV, you finally have an excuse for getting out of hanging out. Yes. You can see, sorry, my HPV is flaring up. Yes. It's even more horrible today than it was yesterday. My horrible penis vagina got terrible today. And that's something you can say when your friends are being like, let's go to the movies. I don't want to see the Odyssey.

My horrible penis vagina is flairing up. Yeah. Yes. It sounds like a children's book, but like horrible. terrible, bad day. Terrible today. Yeah. It really does. Another really great upside of HPV is because everyone, all of us has it, it is a form of community. Oh, my God. Yes. When you can look at every single person on Earth and say, hey, we're all going to die of climate change. But the upside is we all have HPV. Yeah. And you don't even know. And you don't even know. You have it. That's a really beautiful thing. That's gorgeous. Another upside of HPV is, um, Another upside of HPV is that you can give it to your friends. Wait, gorgeous. Sharing.

Caring is caring. Free gift. Free gift. This economy sounds great. Sharing is caring. Sometimes if your friends are going to feel jealous if they don't have your HPV and the fact that you can share it with them by just a little bit of sex, which as we know can come in any form. Yes.

Furby's ears are easy to pull off. It's really a beautiful, beautiful thing. So now I'm going to demonstrate a somersault like you've never seen before. Oh my God. And this has to do with it with the HPV. Kind of like what I'm going to show you is a physical example of how the HPV enters your system. Holy crap. So in this, I'm the HPV strands.

Okay, strands. And then this is kind of the body. Okay. I'm going to pull my feet up. Yeah, I don't want to. And then it kind of goes like. Yeah. Whoa.

Wow. I was, if I, if anyone heard me do a really high voice, I was clapping at a dog so that the dog was chill. It was for my summer. It was for that's how I, that's how I clap for Sid's summer. So that's kind of how the HPB enters your body. So now you know, sex can never truly be safe because fuck. What if the sun blows up during sex, right? So, um, hang in there.

And again, don't trust anything I've ever said. Yeah. Wow. Oh. Right. Right. I forgot about my about the, author, of course. Oh, yes. So about the author, this is a Snapchat photo I took in probably

2015 with a baby face over my face, a baby doll face, not a real baby, and the caption is masturbation. Not sure why that exists, but it does. About the author, you thought it was, the first one was the best somersault. I've ever done, but the one I am about to do now is going to fry your brain and wreck my vibe. So in my about the author, I kind of introduced the fact that I'm going to do another somersault. And then in this one, it's going to wreck my vibe. So prepare for the rest of the episode my vibe to be truly wrecked. Jesus Christ.

Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. That was really good. Those are real. I feel like it's actually unbelievably hard for an adult to do a somersault because I feel like our necks will snap off. It's really good. You did a really good job.

I don't babysit as much as I do. You can do a somersault. Wow. Bibliography. So that's Mr. Pants. That's Mrs. Pye. That's Toby. That's Sox the Dog and that's Vest of the Cat. Wow. I feel so much smarter. That was really awesome. After all of this. Yeah. I'm so glad I did that. Yeah. Wow. This is great.

It's I didn't know sex could click. Sex can click especially when it's Furby style. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, guys, we did such a good job. Yeah. Yeah. That was really smart of all of us. That was really smart. Rika, I have a question for you. Please. I would love for you to tell us about your movie. Yes.

So I crowdfunded a movie last year, a feature film. It is insane, actually. But we have been left no other choice but to do everything. All stuff that you don't know how to do by yourself. And we filmed it. My director and I filmed it last fall. And it was really, really fun. And now we're in post-production.

It's called Vidya's Guide to the Afterlife. You can learn more about it at rikamovie.com. R-E-G-M-O-V-I-E.com. And it's really cool. We've just been submitting to festivals. We're probably going to do, you know, more rounds of that. And I would love for people to check it out. And if you're some wealthy benefactor and you're like, I would like to fund your post-production process, I think that's really cool.

Wait, that's, you should, okay? You should. It's about a Hindu rapture which takes away all the Hindus in the world except the dumbest one, which is me. Isn't that fun? No much. And that fun? I also think, like, the fact that you're doing it, like, very much so on your own. and like, I mean, obviously with the people that you're doing it with.

But the fact that you're doing that way is like, I think so inspiring and probably like very inspiring to other like creatives. How did you kind of have the confidence and like how did you know what the first step was of like how do I start something that's so big? I think you should resolve yourself to be crazy. I think you have to be crazy because there's no reason to make a movie in an industry that doesn't want you to. make it seemingly anything. So you just have to be like, well, I'm crazy. Yeah, I'm crazy and I want to. Yes. And I would like to. So I am crazy. So I was like, yeah, I just want to do this. So I have to do this. Yeah. I love that. Then you find other people who are crazy. Yeah. Like Laser Weber, who helped me with his prowess in Kickstarters to create a Kickstarter that did

well because he knows a lot about how to run one. Very cool. And surrounding yourself with other crazy people who you like and her normal when... Not bad crazy. Not bad crazy. And when they're normal when they're not being crazy is awesome. And I think in terms of like, like that gives you confidence because you're just like, I watched a true Hollywood story with Heidi Klu once and she said, everyone's going to say no to you. You can't say no to yourself.

Wow. And that's the exact flavor of crazy I am. I love that. I'm like, I can't say no. They're saying no. So I have to say yes to myself for every single dumb idea in my head. Yeah. And it's also like what the worst that happens is it doesn't work.

Exactly. Also, the person saying no is rarely the person it's for. Exactly. It's never the person it's for. The person saying no isn't the person it's for. So why not just put it out and make the move? And the people who it's for will be like, yay, I'm glad you did this because this is for me. Yes.

And in terms of the first step, I'm a little information pig. So I'm asking everybody. Sexy piggy piggy piggy for me. Information. Ooh. I literally love information. I was hitting up every single person I knew that had done a movie that had fun raised for a movie. Any producer, you know, what am I supposed to do?

How do I do this? I'm getting all sorts of like different tidbits. I'm writing all of it down. I'm reading so many articles about like filming in LA, all this stuff. I also had a really good team of people that were doing that times 10 of crazy people that were doing this time 10 with me. And watching a shit ton of low budget movies and then going to those screenings and be like, can I talk to you and ask you a shit ton of questions? and you're so allowed to say no. But I don't know what the fuck you're supposed to do

to make a movie in Los Angeles. They don't want you to. Film L.A. deeply doesn't want you to make a movie. And you have to be like, bitch, I'm going to make a movie. Wow, that's so good. Yes. It is like, I feel like anytime we ask for people

to ask questions on like the Patreon and stuff, a lot of the questions are like, how do I like start? And I think that the idea of being like, you just have to be truly crazy is actually such good advice. You have to, like, be normal, be nice. Totally. Some people don't have time. Yeah.

Like, if someone's like, I don't have time or does it respond. Don't worry. Don't be capital C crazy. Yeah. Don't conflate bad crazy with driven crazy. Yes. And like, I have so much faith in myself and I'm going to do something that no one else believes in because I believe in it type of crazy.

Which can still be crazy. Yes. Yeah. But it's good crazy. Yeah. It's the craziness of when other people say like you couldn't possibly do this. Just being like, I'm probably just not going to listen to that. Watch me.

Yes. I'm not going to listen to you crazy is great. Yeah. And like, I'm not going to listen to your boundaries crazy. It's bad. Like, yeah. Because there are those Hollywood stories that'll be like, this guy rejected me and I showed up at his door every day. And I'm like, no way would this work for me. Also, like, why would you want that?

Why would you want that? If someone rejects you, go like, okay, goodbye. Goodbye. I like myself. So I'm going to pop out. Like, why would you? What? And you know what?

Something that I would have. never been able to afford is how passionate people were. So I'm like, that's why you find other crazy people because if you're asking the big dog or whatever and they say no and I keep persistent. He's not crazy about my projects. He's not going to say, yeah. He's doing so much. He's pretending to work so he can get. Exactly. And he's not greenlining things because he's afraid to lose his job if it doesn't make money. Yeah. They're being like, okay, well, let's pretend we're working on projects so that the business can move forward and we can have stuff on books, but we're not actually going to invest in anything because we don't want.

want to. We don't want to. And it's like, okay, well, good to know. That's ass. And so I just like, we really tried to hire people based on like, are you interested? We can't pay you in dollars. We can pay you and it will be fun and we'll be really nice. Yeah. And I think that was also helpful in finding a group of insane people. It's also like, I think so often when when you're making a project that's so like, okay, everyone come together. It's like, I think what is so, I think what is so, important is being, being, like, aware of the fact that it's like, everyone's donating their time and, like, that matters so much. And, and also just, like, everyone's bringing their own talent to it, which is kind of fun because when you're just straight up hired to do something, sometimes

you're like, oh, I don't have as much creative control over this. But when it's a volunteer thing, you can kind of be like, oh, I have this idea. Uh-huh. And, like, it's just like, I don't know, it lets people be more creatively, you know, just like have whatever. By asking my friends to be in the movie and take a crappy dairy, I'm paying for the safety that I know they're good without having to have auditioned to people and the safety of I know you'll bring your own stuff to this and thank you. And so I'm like, I will do everything in my power to not send like a double email or a double to. I'm like, you are doing this for no money. Yeah. Yeah.

I have to know everything in one. I can't be spammy. It makes me so ill. That's so awesome. That is so that's what's going to keep you like successful in all that shit. You know? Like being able to be like I'm going to make the thing I really want to make because I really want to make it is the best reason to make something. Yeah.

And we all are kind of being forced to do it now because no one wants to make anything. And we're kind of shooting ourselves in the foot. we're never going to have anything to watch when we're 60 because we're not making anything. But I do think at the end of the day, like something big is going to change at some point. It has to. It has to be like, okay, I guess if TV dies and everything's just like TV on the internet, sure. If TV goes like, just kidding, we actually want to be in the game. Great.

Like, whatever, but some, like, momentum moves forward. Life moves forward. And, like, people will find the thing that they're watching. And, you know, yeah, so much of it is internet shit right now. Yeah, absolutely. Which is also just interesting because it's like when you watch internet stuff and you watch a lot of internet comedy is friendship based. A lot of internet comedy is this is people we're doing, we're friends and we're also comedians. Don't I know it.

And I think that like, yeah, sometimes when people are used to that and then they see a TV show where it's like there's not enough chemistry. Yeah, it's like they can, you can tell. It's like, okay, everyone's very acting. Like people are so used to watching people be natural. Yes. it's hard to watch stiffer more. Yeah. And I'll say too, like, I obviously participate in a lot of unscripted content. I love doing it. But there's a little bit of a cost there where like, what do you give to people of yourself? Yeah. Because you become the product. You become

an entity in your own in a way that maybe you do not enter this industry to be. I wanted to write. I wanted to be a TV writer and I wanted to have a bit part as a dumb fucking idiot in a TV show. And I'm like, oh, I'm myself. Great. Like, I love being myself. But it is like, I also did this to be crazy. Like, I want to try being other people. Like, yeah. We love the podcast because we love hanging out with people. Of course. But it's like we don't consider ourselves podcasters. We're like, we like making narrative comedy. We like making sketch comedy. We like writing like scripts for like TV and film. Like, we just, we love narrative stuff. It's like, it's like, it's why we try to do so many like segments and things that are kind of like fun.

because it's like an opportunity for everyone to just like use their perform a little instead of being like let me tell you a story about the time i tried dating in l.A. We can sometimes be just really exhausting because it's like, I don't know if I want everyone to know. I'm like, it's like I, and I hope everyone feels this way that you don't have to reveal everything about yourself. And let me tell you, do anyway. I end up like just it all spills out and you go like, whatever. No, definitely everyone knows. But at the same time it is like, yeah, you come here and you go like, I want to write something. And people are like, but what about if we heard about you?

Yeah. What about your whole? Yeah. What's the worst thing that's happened to your whole? actually like, I like like 30 Rock and it's always sunny in Philadelphia and they're like, no, no, that's the worst thing. Yes. That's happened to your whole. I also wonder how much of that is like a male-female thing.

Like I wonder how much people are like trying to get men to talk about the worst thing to happen to their whole? I think it's definitely like femme and women, like people that are like expected to be very personable and relatable before you can enjoy any of their other. content or like having a persona or a brand that is palatable and not like too like hot takesie or too like you you must like really commodify yourself like I've had I've sometimes been like should I get more piercings because I have one and then I'm like cool girl right I don't want more piercings I'm like what the fuck is the moment I got a nose piercing I stopped getting like shrill assistant shrill bitch Asian whatever assistant and then I started getting like queer druid ingenue college. I'm like, that's psycho. It is also crazy to see how like just

these tiny little changes can make an entire world of people go like, well, you're not at all the person I said you were before. You're actually this entirely different person. You get bangs and like, you need new headshots. Yeah. You look fucking different. You're 100% a different person because now you're quirky. Yeah. Before you weren't quirky. A top bun, the universal signifier of quirky in all TV and film. It's like, what are you talking? Or bisexual. Yeah. It is like a very, it's a very interesting thing of like, um, especially like in entertainment. Of like the, it's like if my hair isn't a bun, it's like, well, you're a mom. Well, it's so weird.

And then your hair's down and they're like, but you're not a mom. It's like, we have this weird thing too where it's like, we're always kind of in the back of our heads being like, we can't look too similar. Which is fucking weird. And it's like, who the fuck cares? Yeah. It's like, sit and I always be like, oh, okay. Like, we've gotten so many notes from people we've like worked with that are like, oh, like, what's, like, you guys, what's. you guys, what's the difference between you two?

You look so similar. Who's the this one and who's the that one? We also don't look similar. And it's like, I don't. You don't look similar. Yeah. And it's so crazy that if you're, if part of your package is an unscripted thing, who's the messy one and who's the clean one? It's like, we're being ourselves.

We mean, who's the whatever. We're not doing the odd couple. A script where we are the this one and the that one. We have that script. Yes. I think it's really fucking funny. Yes. I can show it to you and say who's the what one.

Yes. Don't do that about our real life. Our real lies. Who's the, yeah. Because that makes people mentally out. Oh, 100%. When you're like, I look like this, so I have to be this. I have straight hair, so I have to be severe.

Curly hair, so I have to be a strange artist. Yeah. No, like, even like I have, I have like tits, and so I have to be sexual. Hey, Olivia. You know what I mean? You know what I mean to tell me. I don't know what the hell to do with this stuff. Hey, can you say the thing that you said?

What did I say earlier? You said something about what you Google. surged. Oh, I googled what if body doesn't match personality this morning? Because I think that all the time where when I went through puberty I was like, this isn't

what I was looking for. That is so funny. And I like my, but I'm fine with that. I'm not having like dysmorphia, but I'm like, but sometimes I would like to wear a t-shirt and I don't want it to be like, she's doing sexy clothes. She's doing sexy T-Shirt. That's so funny.

Yeah. It's just something so funny about being like packaging yourself as like a brand or a character in your brain. And it's like, but I'm not. I'm like a person. I'm simply a person. Like also because like even like the characters we play that are like the character versions of ourselves are very like mine is. Mine is closer to me. Sid is nothing like her. Yes. I play like a really like you know uptight, no fun. Yes. Kind of like OCD, which I do have so I can say that. And I have OCD. And I and I have it. And, and, um, but like kind of like kind of right you start crying like kind of straight man like super stiff super achievers super super hard to myself and those are all like yes my personality except the no fun part yes but like in real life i'm way more chaotic and like i i'm way more like oh yeah i'm fucking drunk and like olivia the character is like never drunk yeah and sid's character is a stupid criminal and sid is a smart non-criminal yes i my like dropout persona is maybe five degrees different from my actual personality and then when

I see the benefit that other people in this space have from like kind of branding this. I was like, oh, should I have done that? I know. And I'm like, I don't have the patience. Like, I think it's really crazy when you do something and someone's different backstage than they are on stage for an unscripted thing. Yeah. No, and it's like, it's like there's one thing about like, yeah, like dialing it up being like, okay, like I'm just going to let it loose here and be more of whatever energy I have. But like, yeah, when there's like a different energy, that's so interesting.

Yeah. Unless someone's just really shy, in which case it's very cute. Yeah, okay. Yeah, totally. Except when people pretend to be shy. You know, like, I'm kind of just a little guy thing. Who pretends to be shy? First name, last name.

Sydney. I don't know. I don't know. I'm too shy. I'm too, Sydney. But you know, you know, that energy that's like, no, no, explain, explain. You know, like, it's the. Oh, is it?

Like, don't make me saying? Like, false modesty. Yeah. It's the, um, it's the like, I'm asking for someone to ask if I'm okay by being like, or like, instead of, you're asking for something. someone to like, you know, like, but if you're truly shy, you would probably just be like. You wouldn't be on camera. Yeah, you.

I picture, I picture, when I picture like, a dictionary definition of shy, I picture like little boy with mom holding hand being. Yeah. Yeah. So then I was like, who's doing that fake wife? Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, I guess that's not really all shy people. I think it's like the false modesty of like, like when awkwardness becomes a commodification and you're like, you're performing awkwardness.

Yeah. genuinely awkward people are slightly off-putting. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a, yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. And that's the thing about being yourself, too, is like sometimes you'll just do a bunch of

shit and then watch it back and be like, that shit is so off-putting, but I was just. And Olivia, thank you for diagnosing exactly what I feel. I go, huh, I'm a little off-putting. I'm so loud and medically annoying. That's what I am. That's literally- I cannot tell you how many times. watch myself and I go like, this person is so off-putting.

Yeah. Not that I read Reddit because I'm okay. But sometimes people comment and I go, oh my God, I do do that. Whoa, yeah. I'd be doing that. People noticing stuff. Wow, you're reading me to filth. Damn.

I love being read to filth in a way that that's by someone who knows me and likes me. It's my favorite thing in the world. But if it's by a stranger, I'm like, or if it's like we had a patron write, a fan fiction about us. Oh, yeah. really funny. And she like roasted us in the funniest fucking way. It was so real. Like it was so like it was very specific. It was so specific and so like, oh no, have I just said so much shit about my life that like everyone knows? But it was it was really funny. It was really well done and

funny. One person and they're told this it wasn't fan fiction, but someone was like, Rika isn't very good at lateral thinking. And I was like, wow. You've absolutely read me. to fill. I'm so good. Because everything on Dropout that I'm asked to do, I love working at Dropout. Everything they asked me to do is exactly not in my wheelhouse. If they had a show that was like, can you talk about baked goods? Can you talk about animals? Can you talk about Frazier?

I'd be like, I am the new Brennan Lee Mulligan. I'm actually the emperor of this domain. You will see that I am extremely smart. If you watch me do a word puzzle, you'd be like, wow, Raika's so talented. Dropout doesn't ask me to do that. They ask me to play Dungeons and Dragons. And I go, I've never played this in my life. stupid. So people were like,

Rake is about it lateral thing. I'm like, 100%. You've actually read me this both, and I do think that's funny. That's so good. That's so interesting. Yeah, everyone just tells me I'm autistic. And what of it? And honestly, like, let's go. I don't know. I'm not finding out for years. I know that. You're going to take a few years?

I have too many other things. I'm working through the OCD and the PTSD. And if there's a little ADHD, I mean, there is ADHD, too. Yeah. And I'm working on that. But if there's a little odd ADHD, cool. Whatever, yeah. Literally need to work on one thing at a time. Listen, I have rumination OCD. Oh my God, it's so bad. What's your themes?

I'm trying to... I'm always afraid of hurting people by accident. Like that I did something insensitive or I forgot something that's going to like really fuck someone over and and hurt them. I totally hear that. My rumination is a lot of like fixing. I'm a lot of like fixing. I I, part of my craziness, I'm like, well, I can actually fix literally anything that's ever happened. Oh, yeah. Oh, just put it on my nose. Mm-hmm. I've got it.

I can control it. Yeah. I believe that. Yeah. Like, no, I do. And a therapist had to be like, but why? I was like, what are you talking about? This is actually an awesome quality.

Yeah. Because I can actually fix anything. And I can fix this, too, if you tell me it needs to be fixed. She's like, what if nothing needs to be fixed? I'm like, well, that's crazy. That's not true. That's never true. And she's like, do you think you're fixing stuff

so you don't say with the feeling? I'm like, bitch, no, I'm fixing the feeling. What are you talking about? Then I don't have it. I'm fixing it. I'm fixing it. Then it's better. That's so good.

It's crazy she doesn't understand. Yeah, it's literally telling her I'm fixing it. Yeah, I'm fixing it and I can fix anything. Yeah. Well, you're not saying like, I'm kind of a superhero. Yeah. Nobody gets to, I'm literally fixing everything. That is the like, the like, the funniest thing about it is like the weird,

magical thinking stuff where you're like, I, like, yeah, like the idea that I, I thought, like, there was a real part of me, this is an example I always used, but like, I, oh, I, when the writer's strike happened, it kind of messed up a couple of deals for us. And in my head, I was like, none of that would have happened if, if you had, and then, it could, then just like went on to not shame myself. A hundred percent. Like, and I'll be non-specific here so that nobody is triggered at home. But yeah, just like, was like, if my body looked different, the writer's strike wouldn't have happened. Yeah. And because I just needed to control something. I was like, well, I need to feel like it was my fault. Yeah. Because if I had done this differently, it wouldn't

have happened. And it's like, that's hilarious. Yeah. That's, no matter how much I'm like, that makes no sense. It's like, there's still a part of you that's like, yeah, but it kind of is the truth. Absolutely. I know. It is, I think sometimes the, the scary slope with manifestation and stuff where I'm like, are we manifesting or are we doing things that are a little bit compulsed? Yeah. And that's a cool question, Sidney. It's just like an interesting like, I know that I could never see a psychic or anything or do like I can not get that seriously into taro because I would, it's too slippery. Yeah. What's the difference between having strong conviction and compulsing every hour? Yeah. Yeah. There's a, it's a slippery. There's a slippery little slow. Yeah. Because sometimes I'll like definitely do things where I'm like, oh, this, this feels like maybe it's not manifesting. Maybe this. is a mental issue. Yeah. Well, it's, and it's, it's, it makes so much sense, too, because it's like, all of that stuff

is so much of, it's all about control. It's all about, it's an overactive amygdala being like, oh, there might be a threat here. There might be a threat. Here. What if there's a threat here? What if there's a threat here? Let me tell you the scariest threats to you. Yeah.

And then convince you they're going to happen and convince you. And then you're like, I need control over that. So you need to like, do whatever your brain tells you is going to make the relief happen. So it's like, oh, I need to, you know, I need to text my parents so they don't die. Yeah. And then when you do, it's like, I don't think five minutes later, oh, I fixed it. I think, oh, I got to text them again. But it's like that little, like your microdosing control in a way that, yeah.

When the like microdose isn't that illogical, quote, unquote, like there's compulsions that when people think of OCD, the classic one, and I don't mean to call this illogic. It's like, oh, it's like washing your hands or whatever. Yeah, turning off the. Turning off the line. So you go, hey, that's not necessary. It's like, well, it's a compulsion shut up. But like, for me, when I was like, but I just want to fix everything. Why is that bad?

Are you arresting me for checking if my. Checking fixing. Yeah. Being like, well, I just want to make sure. I'm a practical woman of today. Yeah. I just have to go through my social media one more time to make sure I didn't say anything offensive. Because what if I did when I was 14?

I don't know. What if my breakup was my fault? Yep. I actually, it could be helpful if I make a list of the things I did. And then put an arrow and go how to fix and put a little solution. And it's like, and what if I do that every day for an hour? I'm telling you, this is a solution. And it's like, yeah, it's crazy.

Hello. Really tough. Cookie, cookie, cookie. Gosh. Can it crazy? You guys, are you both reading Lena Dunham's new book? No. Should I?

Yeah. I've heard this recently from you that I should read it. Talks about a lot of this stuff. Really? She has some interesting. I do, I do love. I think, I just think it's so fascinating. I think it's so cool.

It's so fascinating. And it's like a thing that is only newer that like people are understanding what it actually is and talking about it. I had no idea you could have mental compulgious. Everybody light switches. I'm like, bitch, this is the light switch. My brain is like, my brain is the light switch. It's so scary.

You kidding me? I literally, yeah, the light switch is in here. Yeah, I can't stop counting. I can't stop repeating. My brain is the light switch. He is like a horror movie. I'm doing this. Yeah, on it all the fucking time. I'm like, I fixed it. Yeah, yeah. Let me just go back to that night six more time.

Kiki, okay. Okay. Let me just go and do a play-by-play of when I ruined it. But it's practical. Yeah, yeah. That way I'll never do it again. I'll show myself. I'm actually never going to make a mistake again.

I should double check on that. Have you read No CD? Sydney. I'm NoCD's number one. Okay, great, because the response are. Is that true? That's so fucking funny. I tell, I've been diagnosing every fucking palm.

Dude, ERP is so good. I love it. It makes you feel like a daredevil. I keep telling people. I'm like, you should have OCD because it's obviously and ironically, not ironically, understandably very well studied. Yeah. Even though no one diagnoses you.

And I was like, wow, everyone should go to my no CD therapist and talk to her. She's incredible. I feel like a superhuman. I'm like finding shit and I'm like being like, no, that doesn't make sense. Or I can handle anything in a good way. And understanding when I'm compulsing. Addicted to no CD, reading the OCD articles all the time. The shit they have the like community support.

Oh. I have a therapist. Oh. Talk dirty. do things um well here's the thing thank you so fucking much for being thank you for having me absolutely lovely and I hope that we get to spend more time I know we we really think so unbelievably cool um whitequoise hey let's hang out buds I love to hey don't you tell the people everywhere they can

find you if they want to hunt you down if they for some fucking reason haven't already okay well if you want to hear remember with the movie did I say that right if you want to hear more about the movie go to rakea movie dot com R's and Robert E is an elephant K's and and H as and Harold A as an Amy, movie.com. If you want to follow me on Instagram, R-E-K-H-H-A-U-S, I host a podcast called Weird Dead that both of you should be on with my friend, Will Lead Mansour. We'll be there.

It's so fun at Weird Dead show. And then watch Smarty Pants on Dropout. Yeah. That's what I've got to say. I love it. And if you want to see more of this episode, extended uncut stuff, if you want to see movie nights, if you want to see all sorts of stuff.

Q&A is, all kinds of shit. We can, you can go over to our Patreon. It's $5 a month. And if not, no worries. And we will see you next Tuesday, freeze frame. Audio ads that connect. Display ads that stand out. Run them together on Spotify and unlock incremental reach for your campaign.