Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Situationships Suck

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Syd and Olivia have been through situationships, and so have you. Let's break down the math and science of situationships and why they suck. Listen here or watch on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/SydOliviaTube Follow the podcast on social media! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sydandolivia TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sydandoliviatalkshit Twitter: https://twitter.com/sydandolivia About Pierced: Pierced is the first creator-led podcast network that’s making podcasts for the girlies. We’re tired of every man on the face of the planet having a podcast and decided it’s time for a new era of podcasting - it’s time to give the girls the mic 🎤 Pierced podcasts features all your fav content creators in a new light. We collaborate with creators to produce podcasts that speak to the complex and unique experiences of the girls and young women of today – the podcasts we wish existed when we were younger. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Do you Fargo? You can. In the Wells Fargo mobile app, learn more at Wells Fargo.com slash get Fargo. Terms and conditions apply. Your mobile carrier's availability and message and data rates may apply. Wells Fargo Bank and a member of DIC. Hi, little tiny adults and big tall babies. Welcome to this episode of, oh no, it's Sid and Olivia talk shit again. Why is it here again?

It's back. Oh, shit. Why are they still talking? Well, we don't know. It's because we haven't found a time to shut up yet. Nope, but you want to, you want to say who you are? Hi, my name is Sid. I'm Olivia. And together we're Sid and Olivia and we talk some shit. Um, uh, uh, how have you been, Sid? Oh my God, listen, I've been absolutely fine. You've been stellar. I've been stellar. How have you been? I've been absolutely stellar. Okay, well, no notes there. No notes on how stellar we've been. Um, today's episode is a very zeitgeisty thing I think. Today we're going to be talking about something that's very near and dear to all of our hearts. Something that we've all been burned by or maybe we have been the burners of. Cigarettes. Today we're talking about cigarettes. Don't do them. Don't do them. Next topic. Just eat them. Next topic. Today we're talking. Today we're talking. about situation ships. Now, uh, situation ships, it's very complicated. It's not something we see a lot in the media. Yeah, but it's something we see every day in our lives. If you're,

if you're between the age of has started dating and is married. Or dead. Or dead. If you're not, if you're not dead, you probably have seen a situation. Or been in one. Yeah. Um, what's, yeah, let's define that for, Olivia, what is your definition of a situation? Sure, I'll define situation ship and then we'll have Cid define it and then we'll go on urban dictionary to see you know what the general consensus is. Yeah because urban dictionary is the only true form of defining things. Yeah absolutely. Okay my definition of a situation ship would be when two people don't want to be in a relationship yeah but try to do a non-pressure version of a relationship where they're hanging out it's a little bit more than friends with benefits.

You're going on dates. There's a lot of gray area. stuff. But you're just, you're not calling it a relationship because one or multiple partners does not want to or is not ready to. That's an awesome definition. I too, Sydney Heller, have a definition. I wrote it down. And so it's official because when you write something down, it becomes official. Absolutely. My definition of a situationhip is noun. When one or two motherfuckers takes part in a relationship, but out of fear of making things serious or messy, do not label it, leading to said relationship ironically, becoming more serious and messier. That's a really good definition.

Yeah, that's a way is. That's like, top notch. Because the whole thing is somebody will go like, oh, I'm anxious about relationships. And let me tell you, I've been this bitch. Oh, me too. I've absolutely done this. Oh, yeah. We're not two people here like, God, we've always wanted relationships.

No, I have been, I have been the shitty person and I've been the person who goes, man, what? Yeah. Yeah. And like, you know, I've done both things and neither is great. And it's, you know, the reason that the shitty person will be like, I can't be in a relationship, but still treat it exactly like a relationship is because they go, I'm anxious about titles. I'm anxious about a relationship.

I'm afraid. I'm nervous. Yeah. But the thing is, it's like you're making this way more anxiety inducing. Yeah. Because you're not just calling it what it is and being like, awesome. Now I can focus on other things. Like, I don't know, potato salad.

Yeah. Or like, oh, well, we don't want to be in a relationship because what if you break up? Well, cool, break up. That's awesome. You're going to break up no matter what, and it's going to be painful no matter what. Yeah, and if you don't break up, one of you will die before the other. So why not just call it what it is and keep moving, my guy? The Urban Dictionary top-rated situation-ship definition is, and this is the definition.

Okay. Let's just chill, have sex, and be confused on the fact that we are not together, but have official emotions for each other. Yeah, that's about right. I actually liked your definition better. Thank you so much. I liked your definition better. But yeah, it's a really confusing thing.

So we're going to get into the math and science behind it because I think that's the best way to break down something confusing and amorphous. Yeah, I think that today we're going to be slipping on our science lab coats. Yeah, our science lab coats and our doctor hats. Our doctor hats and our mathematician glasses. Yeah. And we're going to be the smart, the smart girls. We're going to be the smart girls.

We're going to be so smart about all of the things that are so confusing to you and me. We're going to break down everything that we've learned in our experiences. Yeah. And try to figure out why these things are so bad. Bad. Why they go bad. How you could do one that's good. You can't.

See, I have some thoughts later on. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. Let's talk about some equations. Yeah. We'll start with some equations.

Equations are math. Yeah. And we can trust math. Yeah. Because it's rooted in something. So we're going to do some equations for the types of people who enter a situation ship. Right, because you need to be a specific equation of person to start out in a situation ship usually. Right.

Anyone can usually get into one, but here's some contestants. So here would be a contender, okay? For this equation we have, the desire to be loved plus talks. sick masculinity. Okay. Minus the ability to communicate. All of that multiplied by severe mommy issues equals a contender for a situation. I think that's beautiful.

I have an equation right here. Yeah. Okay. Well, I've got being in a horrible place psychologically. Absolutely. Plus romanticizing and then parentheses, depression plus substance abuse. Classic. And parenthesis.

equals an ideal partner for person A. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it's, it's, I think that's a, those are some good equations. Yeah, yeah. I think what's funny about situations is, I feel like nowadays, most things start as situationships. Oh yeah.

Like I've never entered something wanting a relationship. Like I've never entered even a relationship being like, I want a relationship. I've always been like, no, no, no, no, no. I just want to hang out, which I think. Because that's the cool thing to do. Because that's a cool thing to do. And also because like,

If you're in a place where you're like, I don't want a relationship for X, Y, Z. Yeah. Like, entering a situation ship to me is not in any way, shape or form bad. No, it feels like, oh my God, well, at least I can get the best of both worlds. Yeah. Every relationship I've had was a situation at one point. Yeah. And I was usually the one going like, I'm, I'm just.

And then it was like, oh, okay, I guess. You were the one saying, I don't want a relationship. I was. Yeah. And then by the end, you were like, I guess this is a relationship. Yeah. exactly. And then obviously there's times where it doesn't turn into a relationship and it and it becomes weird in some other way. I think there is a point at which a totally healthy normal

two people hanging out without putting too much pressure on each other type of situation ship turns bad. Yeah. And I'm interested in the science of that. Absolutely. And it's also very normal to have a situation. Yeah. A lot of people have them. But when do you think is the point where it goes bad? Well, I'd like to explain that with a graph. Absolutely, Olivia. You are the king of math and science. I'm the king of math and science and I'm the grand chancellor of graphs. And you're the grand chancellor of graphs.

Basically, I look at it this way. We've got an axis, right? We've got an axis and we'll draw it. Yeah, we'll draw it. So there's a y-axis and an x-axis. And on the y, well, on the x-axis, let's picture the amount of time you are with this person in a situation ship. Okay.

And that just goes on as the x-axis goes on. For the Y axis, we're labeling that as communication. Okay. And I think a lot of the time, communication starts out pretty good for both people at the beginning of a situation ship because everyone's very confident that they know what they want. Oh, 100%. Everyone's like, oh, I can do this. I can absolutely be in a situation with you.

I can hang out with you without this turning into a relationship and I know I don't want a relationship. And I'm going to be super clear about that right off the bat. Yep. And I think as time goes on, and it can happen differently for different partners. Like, let's say one partner continues their communication across the board as time goes on, and it's still good communication going across. But if the other person gradually decreases in their communication faster than the one person,

then there's just no, then it starts to get fucked. And even if they go up and down and up and down towards the bottom, that's even worse. Yeah, you become a big fuck. because it's like false hope kind of stuff of like, oh, they communicated a little bit. And I think to me, when both parties stop actually communicating, or if one party stops communicating, even if that party is pretending they're communicating, but they're not really communicating what they're feeling, then I think that's when it goes to shit in my scientific opinion.

Yeah, I mean, you are the chancellor of graphs. Yeah. I also have a graph because I am the vice chancellor of graphs. Absolutely. It's always good to be the vice of anything. thing. Yeah. I guess.

Yeah. I don't know. You want to have some vices. I want to have some vices. Is that what the vice chancellor gets to do? Just have some vices. You get to have any kind of vice you want. So you can go gambling.

Less responsibility as well. Yeah. You're like the chancellor, but you just have more vices. I'm VP. Okay. Okay. So imagine a chart. Imagine a chart.

Imagine a chart, if you will. And this is, this chart is to show you how many relationships in your life have been relationships and how many have been situationships. Interesting. And this applies to mostly the average bear. The average bear of our generation. Yeah. Like the average generational bear, if you will.

So imagine a chart, all right? On your X axis, you have all of the different romantic connections you've formed in your lifetime, all right? And on the Y axis, you have the span of time of each of those connections, like the span of time each one has lasted. So this is a graph with multiple bars and a bar graph. A bar graph, if you will. I am the vice chancellor of graph. So let's say you have eight romantic connections from the course of your life. Okay, let's say you've had eight romantic connections in your lifetime. Like six of those, if you're an average generational bear, were situationships and only like two

of them were defined relationships. Yeah. And like those situationships can be high on the graph. Like those could have been like five to ten months, maybe a year, two years, whatever. Yeah. And some of those relationships could have been smaller or bigger or whatever. And they all feel like some of them feel equal. Some of them feel more painful. Some of them feel less painful. Yeah.

But those different types of relationships have different terms, those terms being situation and relationship. Yeah. And so we define our breakups or losses. Or those terms being relationship versus we weren't even dating. We weren't even dating. I don't know what we were. So why are you upset?

Yeah. So those losses of those people. are treated differently. Absolutely. Even if they feel the same, worse, less than worse. Yep. You know, they're treated differently. Yeah.

You could have a six-month-long situationhip with someone who broke your heart into a million pieces. True. And you could have a four-month relationship with someone who you never even got as close to. And people would still think you're weird for being hurt by the situation ship. This is correct. I think this brings us to a lovely segment. Yeah.

Your favorite segment in mine called We Have Notes. Today, you're going to be shocked. We have notes on situationships. Can you believe that? Yeah. And, you know, I think, I think it's good because we've both been in situations. We sure have. From our own experiences and from the experiences of friends we've seen go through things.

Yeah, and from the experiences of both sides. Yeah, exactly. So why don't you go for it? Sure, I'll go first. All right, here's my first note on situationships in general. Yes. Okay. This is one that I feel like a lot of people need to hear.

If being in a situation ship has become emotional torture for you, it's not going to get better. That's a lovely note. Yeah, that's just the thought of run away, end it now, get out of it now. Because if you guys are not having any fun at the beginning of what could become a relationship, your relationship's going to suck. If one of the members of a situation is overthinking it so hard, trying to make it not feel like a relationship so hard. And that's hurting someone or both people or stressing everyone out.

It's not going to end up being fun as a relationship because they're not going to be able to get out of their own head. It might not become a relationship. There's a huge chance it won't. Yeah. It will probably only get worse and you will only get more hurt. Yeah. So if it sucks already before you're even dating. for real. Get the fuck out. That is my first note. That's a great, that's why people test

caught, test cobb's. That's, that's, that's, one more time. That's why people test drive cars. Yeah. And the test driving is so important. Yeah. But if the car's breaking down on the road before you even decide you want that type of car. If in the middle of the test drive, like the wheels fall off and the car like falls to the ground and then the steering wheel flies off the handle, there's no reason to that car. If the steering wheel flies off the handle, and there's no reason to buy it out. You don't buy the car. Okay. I have a note about situation, yes. I cannot be your therapist and your on-call escort. I am being paid for neither. Well, there we go. I value my time and I cannot just give it out. Yeah.

Because I have a job. Yeah. So if I'm going to be acting as your therapist because people love to do that to women. Or if I'm going to be acting as your big sex party, I need to be paid. Exactly. So the thing we've learned here is pay Sydney for sex. Pay me for sex. Okay. Dad, stop watching this. But yeah, no, it is true because there is a certain level of effort, above and beyond effort you put in for the person that you're romantically attached to. Yeah, anyone you care about. And if that person is committing to you and going, I'm, I'm your boyfriend, I'm your girlfriend, I'm your partner. It justifies a little bit more like, okay, I can go, I can dig deeper and go the extra mile to be there for this person because they are going to do that for me.

But in a situation ship, there is no promise. They might just go like, oh, thank so much for making my life better. Now go fuck yourself. I've always hated you. Like, that's totally possible. And that's not even like a fun outcome. Oh, it's a bad outcome. Yeah. I think it's, it's way more fun to be like, I want to do a nice thing for this person because I like them a lot. And I feel like they like me equally. Yeah, exactly. That feels great. Yeah. And that's, once again, not to say you can't be emotionally invested in someone before you are in a relationship with them. You can be. But the thing is, you have to clock everything you're feeling the whole time if you are in a situation ship because otherwise it will slip into a dangerous place. It will slip into the danger zone.

Now, this actually perfectly leads into my next note. My second note on situationships is, watch out for the point of no return. Oh, and we mentioned the point of no return. The point of no return is different for everybody. But I'll give some examples. The point of no return to me means this is when we're past being friends. This is when we're past being two people hooking up, two fuck buddies. It's when there starts to be things where you're like, that's more than a friendship.

That's more like a relationship. For example, going on a vacation with somebody. Saying I love you. Meeting the parents. Sleeping over at their house every day. Or hanging out all the time, like during the daytime when you're not doing anything sexual. Merging friend groups. Setting your friends up with each other.

Yeah. And just, and how about I'll just put in any continuous, long, gooey texts about how the other person is the most incredible person you've ever met. Yeah. I would call all of those things the point of no return. There's no returning from that. You better fucking pick something. So at that point, if you've passed that and you're still going, no, no, no, but, but it's just casual.

And listen, I've done that. Oh, me too. And I regret it. And this is why we watch out for the point of no return. Yeah. Because you hurt people and you don't want to hurt people, especially not people who you think are great. No one wants to hurt people. No.

And that's why you have to watch out for the point of no return. Because if you've hit it and you're like, oh, my God, I don't want to date this girl or guy or person at all. but we've gone on three vacations together. Now is your wake-up call to go, cool, I'm going to end it. Because you have to. Yeah. Because that's not fair.

Now you're treating someone like you're in a relationship. And we've all been on multiple ends of that. Oh, we've all done it. Yeah, exactly. So that's my second note. Yeah. It's the golden moment. Triumph on the podium, golden hand.

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Mommy, my tummy hurts, but I'm scared of going to the doctor. The mommy says, I feel like we should go to the doctor, kid. You have to be brave. The kid says, oh no, I want it to be fixed miraculously without going to the doctor. The mommy says, okay, why don't we get over that initial fear and go to the doctor and see how it is. Yeah. You go to the doctor, you get some like antacids, some tums or whatever, a lollipop, you go, this wasn't that bad actually. This is kind of exactly what I needed. Here's another example. A child says, I'm afraid of the dark, but I'm tired and I want to go to sleep.

The mom says, maybe you should turn off the lights and try going to sleep. Here, I'll give you a nightlight. That's helpful. That's a compromise. No, even with the nightlight, I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the dark and so I can't try it. And so that mother doesn't then turn to everyone she knows and goes, it's okay, it's just casual.

My son doesn't sleep. My son doesn't sleep. He stays awake forever. But it's okay because he's afraid to sleep. It's okay. He's basically a vampire. It's all right. And it's just casual. Yeah. And, and, you know, like, if you are saying you are afraid of commitment and what you actually are is not that into the person or or not really sure where you are in your life. Or maybe you just want to fuck around. Yeah. Then you're lying. And once again, let's go back. Or you're not over your ex. Yeah. Let's go back to you have to be honest.

Because if you're just like, my only thing is I'm afraid of commitment. commitment, that's not good enough. Well, let's look into that. Why? Why is that? Yeah, because I've been afraid of commitment. I've been afraid of commitment too, but why were you afraid of commitment? I was afraid of commitment because when I was younger, I was rushed into a relationship. There you go. And it ended very badly. And I wished I had had more time to think do I actually want this or am I being rushed into it. So that was a reason I was afraid of commitment. And I think that's completely valid. But at the same time, being an adult human

being who doesn't suck as much as I, as, I was going to say as much as I'd like to, who doesn't suck maybe that much. I tried to look at those behaviors of my own and go, okay, well, this doesn't, this has nothing to do with anybody else. I have to fix this. This is my issue. A time I fucked up. I, uh, I was in a situation ship. And I was like, I'm afraid of commitment. What I really meant was I just got out of a really long relationship and I might still love that person. Even if I don't want to, it's just still there. Yeah, you don't want to admit that because sometimes you wouldn't even know. But you just be like...

But it just feels wrong, right? Like it feels weird when you first get out of something. It feels like cheating. Yeah. Well, especially when you've been with someone for a very long time and then, you know, relatively, you know. And then when you move on to another person, they can be the best person you've ever met. They can be great. in my personal experience, it was a wonderful, fantastic human being who was just like simply the best.

And I was just like, oh, I'm not ready for this, but that's all on me. And I only made it bad because you know what? We live and we learn. We do. We live and we learn. And I think that's... Not their fault, only my fault. I think that's important though, because like taking responsibility for things, I feel like that builds character. It is. And if you're a person who never takes your accountability for anything, you got to admit when you're wrong. You're fucking, yeah. Okay.

You fucked up. We all have. That actually leads me to my next note. Wow. This is so like inner, like what, synergized, integrate. Like everything leads to it. The next thing is so well. It's like a little, a little sexy smite.

It's a sexy little snake for me. That just slides around. All right. This is something that definitely comes from something that happened to me. Oh my God. I'm so excited. All right. Here's, here's my final note on on situation shifts for, for,

Oh my God. Are we dropping games? Maybe. Hurt someone's feelings sooner rather than later. And I know what you're referring to. Yeah. Because here's a thing. We're not, people aren't evil.

People don't go, I want to be in a situation ship because I want to hurt a 21-year-old girl's feelings. Yeah, I mean, maybe an evil person would do that. Maybe an evil person. But most people are not evil. But most people actually do bad things because they don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Yeah. They're just, they're just.

scared. Yeah. And it's like, okay, just so you know, you will in your life hurt people's feelings without realizing it. Yeah. And that's just a part of being alive, my guy. So if you know you're going to hurt someone's feelings and you're afraid of it, just get it over with. It's like ripping a bandit off. Exactly. I was in a situation ship, as they would say. I remember it well. With a guy, let's call him chut chut. Not real name. We'll call him chut. And if your name is chut, this isn't about you. This isn't about you, chut. So turn this off and go the fuck away, chut. And if, and if, so yeah, if you're fucking chut,

get out of here. Chut's not like a slur for anything, right? I desperately hope not. Okay, well, if it is, we didn't know. We didn't know. And there's proof right there. Yep. Should I look that up right now? No, it's not. All right. So yeah, I met this guy, Chut. I was 21. He was 21. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was 31, that's the first red flag. Ten years? The thing about Chut is that when I went on my first date with him, little did he know, he actually made me feel funnier and cooler and better than like anyone I had ever been

in a real relationship with. Yeah. And probably just he was a good audience. Yeah. But I took that to heart as a 21-year-old and I was like, oh my God, this feeling is like such a high. Yeah. Well, it feels good to feel desire.

Exactly. And to feel like, oh, I'm so cool. And this older person thinks I'm cool, which was a drug I was addicted to. Sure. And basically, long story short, Chut and I dated, hung out for about five months. Yes. Without any labels. Without any labels.

And it was like a lot of, you know, me going over there multiple times a week, sleeping over all the time. Like, once again, like I just said long texts from Chut being like, you are a light in this world. You are everything. And me being like, okay, awesome. And now, yeah, it was. And, and saying a lot of ever statements. You're the funniest person ever. You're the blah, blah, blah person ever that makes you feel very special, especially as a young person. So me, as a 21 year old, and by the way, just a little addition to this is that Chut and I drank all the fucking time. Okay. So this was bad for me because I was having like four or five gin and tonics a night.

Oh, that's a lot? Yeah, because he was like, I love to drink and I was like, I love to be cool. So that was a bad addition on top of everything. Sure. Because alcohol makes you worse. Well, it heightens everything. It heightens everything. It makes you sadder.

But I would say to Chut, over the five months, over and over and over again, hey, you know, do you want to just call it off and be friends? Because I feel like, you know, I haven't heard from you in a second. You want to pull back. Like, do you want to just be friends? and every time he would respond with an overwhelming no, no, no. Like, no, I need you in my life. You're a light in this world. Like crazy, like really, really, like convincing enough responses. Like big paragraph shit and like, I'm, you know, so to me, I was like, okay, this is just, then that's fine.

I'm, I just wanted to check in and communicate. Um, uh, my favorite story from the situation ship is one time I texted him. something to the effect of like, hey, we should hang out soon. And he wrote back and he was like, I'm actually going to be busy for the next six weeks. I'm really busy. I can't hang out. I'm busy for the next six weeks. And I was like, that's a long time. Okay.

Like out of the state or no? No, no, no, just busy. And I was like, okay. And then later that day, I texted him, oh, by the way, would you want to be in a sketch with me and Sydney for our channel? And he wrote back, yes, I'm free anytime. Oh no. So to me, that's not really communicating because now I'm getting mixed messages. Eventually, I broke it off with him, but in a way that was like, I texted him and was like, hey, we don't, we don't hang out. So I'm going to guess we don't hang out anymore. And he was like, oh, yeah, I guess my actions speak louder than my words.

Oh, dang, dang. Okay, this is sad. And so looking back, to wrap up my note, in retrospect, if home. Homeboy had just said, our age difference weirds me out or something like that that it probably was. Or maybe, I don't know, you're loud and irritating, whatever it was. Or you could have said, my name is Chut. Hurt their feelings sooner rather than later. Because if I had heard, like, our age difference freaks me out or something, I would have been like, oh, man, for like two weeks. Right.

But the way it ended up happening, I took it so personally because I was like, well, if you won't tell me what it even is, like it must just be my worth as a person. And that is the problem with situationhips. Okay, and I have one more note on situationships. No pet names. Oh, wow, yeah, absolutely not. No pet names, not allowed. Not allowed.

No baby. No sweet. That was another one that, yeah. No honey, no antit-a-baby. Okay, here's the thing. If you're going to do pet names in a situation ship, Let's make them reasonable. Yeah.

Let's set the standard low. Yeah. So it's like if you're, if the thing you're doing is we're not dating, we're just hanging out and we're fucking and sometimes we like eat sushi or something. Yeah, we'll go out dancing or something. Then your pet name should be like, oh, hey, Captain Fun. That's a great pet name. Yeah. Or it should be like, all right, all right, sex rocket fun time.

Yeah. I mean... So nice seeing you today, not my brother. Yeah. Not my brother. That's a great pet name because it shouldn't be. So we now have a small list of pet names. Yeah, we do.

Captain Fun is my favorite pet name I've ever heard. Captain Fun is real fucking good. Yeah, yeah. You could call someone like... Senator Fuck. Oh, hey, Senator Fuck. Why don't you fuck me all up in my Senate... Yeah.

In my House of Congress, fucky, fucky, Senator Fuck. See, this is exactly how... to refer to your situation to partner. You're pointing out the fact that you guys touch tummies and stuff. Yeah. But you're also pointing out the fact that you're not trying to be like, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Yeah.

So why not call somebody like, oh, hi pudgy little sexy pudge. Yeah, pudgy little sexy pudge really works on me. If you say pudgy little sexy pudge to somebody, they will not want to be in a relationship with you. Absolutely. So that's a great way to get around that. Oh my God. And those are our notes.

Yeah, those are our notes. it's on situationships. Oh my God. Yeah. It's crazy. I feel like I have so many friends. I have so many friends, period. Period.

End of sentence. Anyways, bye guys. I have so many friends who are constantly being like, is this a relationship or no? Like they'll be seeing somebody and they'll go, I don't know if I'm in a relationship or not because nobody wants to bring it up. Yeah. And so you're just like doing all the stuff and you go, I don't know what it is, but I'm not going to fucking say anything because it seems pretty good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, I don't want to lose this. And so I'm going to ignore the horrifying pit in my stomach for as long as I can. Yes. So where do you go when you don't know something? Reddit. You go to Reddit. So now it's time for another segment called R slash Talk Shit. This is a segment where we go to Reddit and see the universe's questions.

Yeah. And we answer them because we are God. Because we're God and we know how to answer every question. I'm not to answer everything because we are gods. Here's a question from Reddit. This is from you slash kilbassadong. All right. I don't know.

Yeah. Help. Am I in a relationship? Hi guys. I'm 23 male and needs some help. I've been seeing this girl for six months. I hang out with her at least once a week ever since I met her whenever we both have free time. We have sleepovers every time we hang out, go on dates, have sex, etc.

Neither of us have talked about feelings or defined our relationship, and because of that, I'm kind of confused. Aren't we all, buddy? Yeah. We always have a good time when together and text every day. I don't want to assume anything about whether this is casual or formal, but I also don't want to ruin anything by asking. How should I bring this up?

I would like to become an official couple with her, but I'm not used to bringing up this topic with girls. I appreciate any advice. Thanks. Aw. That's very kind. Well, that's, that's, now that's a very nice person. That's a nice boy. That's a nice boy. Um, what do you think, um, Keel Bassadong should do? I think, strange username. Yeah, I think, I think, I think Kiel Bassadong should express how he is feeling. Mm-hmm. Because if the end of the day, like, people think, speaking specifically from my own self, People think we are stronger than we are emotionally sometimes. And if you have feelings for someone, you have feelings for someone.

And no amount of like, yeah, but I still want to hang out with them and I don't want to ruin this, will ever like top the fact that you have feelings for someone unless you stop having feelings for them or something happens and something changes. But I would say if you have feelings for someone, you got to tell them, for example, I actually was in a situation ship with my current boyfriend. friend. That's true. For a while because we were both like, I don't want to be in a relationship, which was totally valid on both ends. And I was the one who was like, shit. Like, I fucked up. And coming from like Chut and other people like that, I was like, I got to go so over the top

with communication because I'm just, I can't have this happen again. Luckily, Jake is a really good communicator. But I was the one who said, and you can totally steal this line if you want. But I said, at some point a bunch of months in, I was like, hey, I fucked up and I fell in love with you. Now, you can take that back. You can be, I fucked up and I have feelings for you. I fucked up and I like you too much. I always go, I always used to say, yeah, I'm worried I'm going to like you too much or something. And that's always a good, easy way to test the waters instead of going as far as, I mean,

I was at a point where it was like I had to say that or peace out because I was like, sorry, here's what's up in my brain. My go-to sentence is usually, hey, listen, you can hate this, but I have a big fat crush on you. So what do you want to do about that? Yeah, that's great. Yeah. And I think, like, you know, it doesn't have to be precious. You can say feelings that are really true in a way that's completely casual and not precious.

Because it alleviates a lot of the pressure off of them. So, yeah, I would say, go to your girl and say, listen, I fucked up and you can hate this. But I've got a big fat crush on you. what do you want to do about it? And I'm a big fan of big gestures. So I think you should jump out of a hot air balloon. I thought you're going to say jump out of a moving car. I think you should jump out of a moving car and propose to her.

I don't know. See what she does about that. Yeah. See the feeling when, see what happens when you say the first part. And then if it's positive, then you can jump out of a moving car and propose to her. All right. Back to Reddit. Blah, blah toast 21.

Blah, blah toast. Perfect. Says, I, 25 female, have been in a situation she, with a man, 38. Okay. Once again, that's not a judgmental pause. That's a we've been there pause. Yeah.

It's just a, it's something to notice. Yeah. It's for almost a year now. It started off as a relationship, which then, for age gap matters and other work issues, he decided to cut short. Okay, so they were in a relationship.

And then he said, I don't want to be in a relationship. Okay. We were distant for a month after that, but I've been very close again for a few months now. We see each other, every day, that's too much, talk about anything. We are pretty, pretty intimate and sometimes we

have sex. He even jokingly tells me he loves me. Watch out for the point of no return once again, ladies and gentlemen. I think we're past there. However, this is where it gets dark. He keeps telling me he doesn't do hugs, kisses, and we don't really have any sort of non-sexual touching. Stupidly, now I think I'm in love. As you could guess, Oh, so as you could guess, I'm driving myself crazy to decipher these signals. What does it mean? Does it look like he likes me and would be interested in a relationship with me? Or does it sound like he couldn't care less and wants to keep it a situation?

Please no advice such as talk to him. I feel like this is not a conversation he wants to have. And I am not ready to receive a bad answer from him. Here's my thing, girl, and you're going to hate me for this. Yeah. You got to dump that motherfucker. Get the fuck out. So that...

There is no other option. That is not good. Run for the fucking hills. That, I know, listen, I know it's when you find someone that you have fun with, you're like, oh my God, they're so fun. Yeah. But here's the problem. That's a person who's like, I do not do hugs. Yeah.

What the fuck? That's a serial killer thing to say. Yeah, that's literally. I do not do hugs. That's, that's some like Zodiac killer shit. That's like the origin story of the Joker. Yeah, I do not do hugs. I smother my mom with a pillow.

I do not do hugs. Are you okay? Okay, so this person is obviously about to have their villain origin story start. And they need to. Don't be there, Harley. Queen. You don't want to be their Harley Quinn? She's a tragic character. There's nothing to romanticize there. No, it's sad. It's sad and we want to save her. You need to switch universes. You have to get into a different universe. Go be like one of those, killer badass women from Black Panther or something.

Yeah, absolutely. Just get into another comic book. Unequivocal? Unequivocally. Unequivocally, unequivocally get out. Yeah. Here's the thing. Somebody who is 38 and is like, I don't do it. hugs, I want to be able to define this how I want to. You're not allowed to ask me for things. This is what I want and nothing that you want. I'm going to go with maybe that's not your guy. That is a hard get out. That's a hard get out. Because also like, once you're 38, you're an adult. Yeah, you're an adult and you can figure that out. You kind of can act like an adult. If you're like 13 and you do that, I'd be like, oh, they're 13. Maybe let's cut them some slack. They don't know what's going on. Yeah, I would say run. And I would say if you're a 25-year-old human

female and you're into older guys, you can find another one in 45 seconds. It'll take you about 30 seconds. So, um, so yeah, get the fuck out. You know what you should do? What? Get a words with friends account. Get a words with friends account. Start playing Scrabble against random users and just see how many.

Watch your suitors line up. Watch the zaddies line up. See how many word daddies line up to play against your 24 point word and then chat you. Hey. Want to get coffee. sometimes. I live in Iowa. Where do you live?

I live in Iowa. Quick, send a picture of yourself. Send me a picture of your feet. Yeah. I just played the word jihad. That's always my go-to because I really have played the word jihad so many times. Because you get so many points because of that J. Yeah.

Yeah, you got to just get the point. Listen, I really do love words with friends. And if you want to play me on words with friends, please do because no one does. Yeah. I always try to get people to play me and nobody does. I mean, they will if you ask enough. Okay. Let me know if you want to play with.

at words with friends. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? Yeah. Casual dating versus relationship. This question is asked by these cup 8181. All right. All right, these cup 8181.

So I've been seeing this guy for almost two months. He made it clear from the beginning that he doesn't want a relationship. We could stop there. We could stop there. Well, we know what it is. Well, then we know what it is. Don't we. A few months back, he had just gotten out of a relationship with.

a very controlling X. Again, we really could stop there. We could stop there. I was fine with the whole thing. However, we act very much like a couple. We hang out a few times a week, go on dates, he's slept over a few times, has even met most of my friends. Sounds like you're in a relationship, my girl. I haven't seen anyone else since we've started hanging out, and I don't think he has either. But as time passes, it's getting harder and harder to not develop feelings, as I know he doesn't want a relationship. How long should I wait this out before bringing up my feelings? You've already waited too long, my girl.

Zero seconds. Go back in time. You need to get a time machine. Get in a time machine. Go back in time and say, hey, no. From the beginning. And once again, telling someone you've grown feelings for them doesn't have to be mortifying, especially if it's early enough. If you've started catching the feelings and you go, hey, I started.

Should I peace out? Hey, maybe at the very beginning when he says, I don't want a relationship, maybe your response is, I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship either. However, if I start to grow feelings, I'm going to let you know so that I don't get hurt and I protect myself. If you can't, if you're not watching the YouTube version of this, I am pointing at Cid right now in emphasis. That's something you should learn to say. Yeah, absolutely. Because you're allowed to be like, oh, I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship. You're allowed to not think you want a relationship. Exactly. You're allowed to change your mind. But if later on, you feel like, oh, wait, I really like this person. You got to tell them

right then and there. Clock all your feelings as you're having them. You have to. Because you got to protect yourself. Oh my God. Yeah. And others, but mostly yourself.

We want to protect you these cup 8181. Yeah, absolutely. That's their name, right? Yep. Okay, here's one from you're okay. Confused. I'm in a thing with a guy, his off and on.

Stop right there. Stop right there. What? What? Okay. His off and on. I think she means it's off on and off. Maybe?

It's off and on. He brags about his other girl. girls. All right. I could even stop there. Yeah, I would stop there. We're done. Um, I, when I go off with another guy, he calls me all the names under the sun. This is a crazy person. This is abusive. This is an abusive crazy person you're dating. One day he wants to be friends. Next day he wants to be with me. What should I do? Run. You should run away. At first, it messed with my head, but I found a way to put him in his place. No, you haven't. You're just telling yourself that you have to run. Also, what confuses me is, oh, I hate this.

That was a scary face you just made it. Also what confuses me is when I'm done up, ready to go out, he won't text me when I'm looking good. Okay, this is syntactically confusing. But I think what she's trying to say is when she looks good, he's cold to her. When she's all done up and dolled up, he's like, ugh. That's not nice. I have a personal hatred for that for sending someone a cute picture and a lack of an enthusiastic response.

That's sad. Like, people want to feel good about themselves. If you don't feel enthusiastic about somebody you're dating, being cute, you go now. You go now. And if there's like a miscommunication and you thought they looked cute but you just didn't have the time to text back, like you can voice that. Then she says, what is that? Is he insecure?

I don't want to sound narcissistic, but it seems like he's trying to make me feel like I'm nothing. Girl, you're not narcissistic. He is a clinical narcissist. And he is trying to make you feel like you're nothing because he has issues. run away. That person sounds really scary. I would say calling somebody every name under the sun never sounds like a good thing. No, because there's a lot of bad names out there. There's a lot of bad names, like Shirley or Glenn. Yeah, glent or chut. No, I mean, unless calling you names is warranted,

like unless you're like, please Zaddy call me all these names. Please Zaddy call me Chut. Please Zaddy call me Chut. Then I feel like maybe no. I feel like we don't call people names. You learn that in grade school. Yeah, no, we don't do it. No, that's not very good. nice. It's not good. It's not nice. It doesn't make you look good. And this person sounds ill. Ill. I've met my fair share of ill people. You have. This person sounds ill. I would say run the fuck away. I'm going to give this a zero out of ten. Yeah, zero out of ten from us. Well, this was, I think, a very scientific episode. Listen, I've never felt smarter in my entire life than I feel right now. I've never felt more like the Chancellor of Graf's. I've never felt more like

the vice chancellor of graphs than I do right now. Look at us. We rule the graphs. We are good at knowing when to leave a situation ship when we are not the ones in it. Yeah, when we're not the ones in it. Yep. And if you have any questions about whether you should leave your situation ship, you can tweet at us.

You can tweet at us at Sid and Olivia. And publicly tweet, I'm in a situation ship. Sit and Olivia, should I get out of it? And we'll let you know. We'll let you know on the big public inner webs. Yeah, you can also follow us on TikTok or Instagram. You can check out our YouTube channel here and subscribe it. If you're listening on Spotify or anything, come check out our YouTube channel.

We have all the podcast episodes up here but filmed with like fun animated bits. Yeah. So I love that. And until next time, I've been Sid. I've been Olivia. And we are Sid and Olivia. We have been talking some shit. And thank you for joining us.

Thank you guys so much for joining. Bye.