Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Surprise, We're Drunk (feat. Shayne Topp)

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

Surprise, Syd and Olivia are drunk and Shayne Topp (Smosh, The Goldbergs) is moderating it. Embark on an adventure of slurring, oversharing, and irritating the shit out of Shayne Topp. Watch on YouTube for added visual elements! Listen here or watch on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/SydOliviaTube Follow the podcast on social media! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sydandolivia TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sydandoliviatalkshit Twitter: https://twitter.com/sydandolivia About Pierced: Pierced is the first creator-led podcast network that’s making podcasts for the girlies. We’re tired of every man on the face of the planet having a podcast and decided it’s time for a new era of podcasting - it’s time to give the girls the mic 🎤 Pierced podcasts features all your fav content creators in a new light. We collaborate with creators to produce podcasts that speak to the complex and unique experiences of the girls and young women of today – the podcasts we wish existed when we were younger. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

unfortunate. We're an episode where Olivia and I are drunk. This is our friend Shane Topp. Shane Topp. Hi, I'm Shane Topp. Shane. Send to Olivia are drunk. So just to clear.

We're our own studio audience. Just to clarify for everybody, we're with drink, drunk, and Shane is sober. Shane is sober. And today he's going to be our moderator slash our rep, making sure that this episode goes smoothly and fine. And if you are listening on Spotify instead of watching on YouTube, Why don't you get over here and watch my young face, you fucker? Get over here and watch that young face.

Second, sheen isn't a rough outfit. So if you ever wanted to picture that. What a sexy thing for you. I know, right? So come on over to YouTube, okay? You can watch it on Spotify. Come on over. Watch it.

It's going to be cute. Give it a big watch, right? Give it a big watch. Oh, by the way, I'm Olivia. I'm Sidon. And together we are Sidon Olivia. You can see us on the big TikTok. And Shane, how are you?

Shane. I'm doing great. You know, you guys said you would be drunk for this episode. I didn't know if you'd be like playing it up or if it was like going to be like a bit. No, I showed up. You guys are actually pretty drunk. We have had two bottles of when. And I had one meal today.

Yes, it has one meal today. And it was a burrito of toppings. Yeah, so okay, so Sid got a burrito. Yeah, actually, can I take a second? Yeah, can you take a second for DoorDash for you? No, it's Postmates. Oh my God. Hey, guys, sorry.

This message is to Postmates and no one else. A couple days ago, I ordered a burrito from Chipotle and it came with a bite out of you. of it. I opened the tortilla. I tried to see if there was a bite mark out of it. There was it was it was a bite out of it. When I had to go rate it I said to the I said to the postmate driver I gave him a thumbs down and I said you took a bite out of my burrito and he said he said thanks for the tip. Fuck that guy. Am I right? So fuck that guy what the fuck is that about and then I asked for my money back and they didn't give it to me back so can we fix that please? And then secondarily right? And then today I ordered a burrito and it only came with toppings.

Piquito Moss what are you doing giving Sydney a burrito? Because she's a vegetarian. She ordered the vegetarian burrito. What are you doing giving her burrito? Truly just only guacamole, sour cream, and cheese. What is that? That's not okay. That's not nice.

That's just toppings. And look, there are toppings that I fucking love. Yeah, but I don't want to have something on their own. And so it's kind of one of those things where it's like... Have you ever had like a devastating experience with the food delivery service, Shane? I've actually been pretty lucky with them.

But I've heard horror stories. This has got to be the most insane one I've ever heard. Here's the thing. If you were a food delivery service. service, please don't fuck with our friend Shane because he's really nice, okay? Thank you. So that was our warning.

Shane, how do you like it at Smosh? I love it. It's a lot of fun. There you have it. You want to know how we know. Shane, we wrote for Smosh. Yes. From Top of Smosh.

Shane Top is of Smosh. He's wonderful. He's the best guy. He's the best guy. He's completely sober and we're absolutely just like, disturbingly drunk. Fully vaccinated. Yes, I'm proud to say that I'm fully vaccinated.

I will say. Madurna. Madurnal. Me too. So not only am I fully vaccinated, but Sydney got me all of my vaccination status. And third, I'm COVID-negative. That's great. Fucking cool. I hope we are. I'm COVID-negative as well.

All right. So this is all very good. It's off to a good start. I'm COVID-negative. I just have post-nasal drip. Yep. So if Sid coughs, just hide your fear. Hide your kids.

Hide your wife. So Shane is going to ref us today. He's going to tell us all the things that we do wrong. Because we're drunk. Shane, how is it being drunk for you? I enjoy being drunk. Yeah. I haven't gotten drunk like really badly in a long time.

I've been pretty good at like keeping it at the right level. When the last time that it was really bad? When were you the most drunk in your life? Oh, there was a time in Vegas where I got out. I've only blacked out once and that was in Vegas. Really? I've blacked out like seven times. It's not about you.

What happened? It's about me. I just, we, it's a long story. We were at this club, and it was this girl's birthday, and her mom got his bottle service, and then the birthday girl got sick before midnight. I was almost sober at this point, but the mom had asked like, hey, do you want, is there any bottles you want to get? And I was like, oh, I like this type of whiskey, whatever. So she leaves with her daughter, and then she turns to me, and she goes, hey, all this stuff costs well over $1,000. Oh, my God.

So much money. You guys have to stay and, like, please drink as much as possible. So I took that as like, oh my God, this is going to go to waste. We just, I told her to get this whiskey, and now it's, it was basically full at that point. So I started, it was like, oh, Crowns Royal. Okay, I love that. So probably cost like $800. So I started doing shots, and we all started doing shots and I blacked out pretty hard.

But when I get drunk, I was there with, there was a few couples and then it was like me. And when I get drunk, I love to tell people like very positive things. So I like to tell couples, I'm like, you guys are so in love. You guys should get married and it was a married couple. So, like, we're already married. And I'd be like, that's awesome. You guys are so happy together. And I just got really, really, really drunk.

I love that. They had to bring me back up to the room. It felt so sweet. Yeah, but that's the only time. Sid, what kind of drunk are you? Um, usually tired. Oh, you're a tired drunk for you. I'm usually tired drunk.

I also usually just look at food and go, God, I want to fuck that, don't it? Yeah, no, that's valid. I feel like I have, I have plenty. I have plenty of stories of me going to a I was drunk at 8 a.m. once. Let's not even, Dad, turn it off. Hey, Sibb's dad, it's time for you to turn this off. Turn it off. Turn it off.

You can watch still. I'll tell you when you can't. Just turn it off. It was 8 a.m. I was drunk. This was college. Who cares? That doesn't even count as alcoholism. No.

And I was at a, and I went to a class and I went to Tai Chi class at 8 a.m. drunk. I was like, fuck yeah, let's do this. Did you do well? Nope. I was like, let's do this routine. One of my friends threw up in a bush. I was like, let's absolutely go for it. Why were you drunk off of?

I don't even fucking remember. This was college. Okay, okay, that's valid. Then I went to a cafe at our college campus. I looked in the window of the donuts. I said, that looks like the best donut I've ever seen in my life. And the man working there said, it's old. Valid.

I bought it. And I ate it. And then I asked someone to drive me home, but they couldn't drive me home on campus because there's no roads. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, you guys, here's the thing is I was drunk at 8 a.m. But it's never happened again.

Here's the thing is, like, the drunkest, the first time I ever blacked out, Sydney and I made a party, okay? Sorry? We both one day decided that we were hot. And we both went to high school and we both had. That feeling comes up in college. Sometimes, but then it goes away. Oh, 100%.

Sometimes you go. Yes, and sometimes like, I know. Sometimes you look at yourself in the mirror and you go, God, what a garbage sack that. Sometimes I want to look at myself in the mirror, I want to throw up and die. But sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I'm like, okay. Mm-hmm. And so one time when... That's healthy.

When I was 19 and Sydney was 20. Okay. Don't say that I'm older. Okay, so when I was 19 and Sydney was also 19. Thank you. We both did a thing called... So, okay, so you know how college girls always dress up like slutty cats? Yeah.

I didn't go to too many college parties. Okay. So... You went to college. You went to ASU, right? I did it online. Oh my God. So I didn't go to many college parties.

But you had a big graduation with all your big friends. That was true. Wait, you did? It was very sweet. It was a smosh video thing. They threw me a surprise graduation because mine, my actual graduation was I got sent a diploma in the middle. No, fuck that. You need a big graduation.

We should do a graduation. We'll graduate you again. Do you want to be graduated right now? Whatever grad school. I graduated two years ago. Really? Yeah, I got it in 2019. Yeah.

We graduated in 20, 2018. No, I graduated in 2017. Wow, you guys. I'm old. You defeated college before me. No, it just took me 10 years. Cid is like a year older than me and it means nothing. That doesn't mean shit.

No, she's hot. It means less and less as you get older, too. She's hot and cool and it's great. But anyway, the first time I ever got blackout drunk. It always came out of my mouth. Oh my God. That would count as a spill. It was something called, so Cid and I decided one day that we were like,

everyone dresses up as a slutty cat during Halloween. We're going to do a thing where we invite a bunch of people to a party at Sid's apartment and we call it the slutty cat party. That's great. And the rule is you can only come in if you're dressed like a slutty cat. And if you're not, then we will give you whiskers,

we'll give you cat ears, we have them at the door, and you have to take off some article of clothing. You have to be a specific version of a specific cat? Yeah, so, like, for example, I was the cat that bit me when I was in eighth grade and almost gave me rabies. And I was the cat that my mom rescued

when she was working on a music video and died. Fuck. What? The cat died. Sid was an overreesome. wait, cat named Isabella. Aisabella. Wack yourself.

And then I was a cat that bit me and then my evil doctor when I was a child was like, you can get fucking a hundred shots and I'll fucking hate you because you're fat. Wait, sorry, what? Sorry, my doctor didn't like me because I was fat. You were a chubby child.

Yeah, when I was a child, this dog... Shane, were you a chubby child? No, I wasn't, but the doctor hate... The thing about it is that doctors, if you're a fat child out there... You care so much about children's disease. Here's the thing. Which is a foul.

If you're a big jungle child out there. Ew. Olivia, stop. Okay. No. And you are being like living your life and a doctor is being mean to you. Fuck that person. Okay.

Because you're hot. Olivia, what? You can't call a kid hot. You can't call a kid hot. You can't. You're not hot. But you're great. And fuck everyone else.

Not literally. Shane's going to. write a note that you called it's great because we get okay so that's good so yeah anyway she's taking notes so that he can judge us at the end um so I think it's time for us to move on yeah you guys gave me the breakdown of your episode yeah one day next part you guys may if I'm correct you guys got drunk last night yeah as well yeah and you made vision boards for each other yeah so you have you ever heard of a fucking have you ever manifested something into reality here's the thing is if you haven't heard of a vision

board you've never been to Los Angeles, California. And I've never made one. I've never made one before this vision board. But tonight, last night, we made one. We made vision boards for each other, but we didn't tell each other. We didn't show, we didn't show each other what was on the vision boards. And then we bought, we went to a CBS and we bought a bunch of magazines. And turns out magazines are actually shockingly expensive.

Well, I was at the, well, I was at the cashier. I literally said, I wonder how expensive magazines are. And then we saw it and we were like, oh, very expensive. $130. So Sid, do you want to show yours first? Should I show my first? Go for Olivia. I'll show my first.

This is my vision board for my friend, Sydney Heller, who I love. Explain it for the people who can't see. Okay, so here's the thing. If you're on Spotify listening to this, you might as well go over to YouTube and just see this vision board. But if the thing is that you're not,

if you're on a drive right now, first off, I hope traffic is great. I hope no one's being a motherfucker. Second, I will explain every single part of this vision board for you. Okay? So here's my vision board for my best friend, Sydney.

Heller. So here we go. Oh, no. So it's a big vision board. Most of it is words. Up here at the most, what is this, right or left? Help me. That's left. This is left. The most left top corner, it says funky poop. And there's a dung beetle. And there's a dung beetle. And so

I figure I'm manifesting some funky poop for you. What is wrong with you? Why would you be doing that? Because I feel like that's realistic. We're all going to have funky poop one day. She might as well... I don't poop. May I ask if you're saying everyone's going to have that one day, why does she need to manifest it?

She has to. Okay. So then there's hot picks, which is a tattoo picture of a baby. I don't really like that, but I put it on your board. Oh, no. Then we've got junk, sweet junk, which means nothing. But I feel like, you know, your junk should always be sweet, that young junk. I see in the middle of it, it says surviving a divorce from hell.

Yeah, I figure if you're going to have a divorce from hell, you guys don't survive it. What? you're manifesting a divorce Olivia, you're not my friend You're not my friend You want me to have a divorce And you want me to drop a hundred It also says one's baby at 65

Drop a hundred pounds Which I feel would be like such a cool challenge for you Because if you were 20 pounds You would be a pile of bones And I feel like that could be a vibe Olivia Public enemy number one Kinky kicks

Kinky kicks it says for you to kick people and have a good time sexually. We've got a bunch of different types of pasta for you and the word bread. Okay, this is the first part I like. So she is manifesting carbs. Sid loves pasta.

Sid loves carbs. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I'd fuck a bowl of pasta. Yeah, she absolutely would. And I think that's completely valid. Any kind of pasta? No, any kind of pasta.

Any kind of pasta doesn't have meaning. Cachio a pepe? Cachitape. And no. Kachio. Oh, sorry. Come on Italian. I am truly Italian and I should go to the hospital.

And a piece of olive bread I would absolutely die for. Okay. So then over here, I'm manifesting for Sid, thicken hair for pennies. What? I'm manifesting her be colorblind so that you can be colorblind. Why would you want to be colorblind? Why do I want to be that? No, I don't know because it was one of the stickers we found at the dollar store.

Okay. Okay. You found a sticker that said pink color line? Yeah, 100%. We haven't met your apartment. So then we have had fish can fit your whole backpack with slime. Once baby at age 65. That's like a fun thing for you to do.

After you surviving your divorce from hell. So that you also, we have you do, we have you ending war with mom. Whose mom? I don't know. We have you still living on your Manton Ranch, Montana Ranch. phone feet of my car Wait, what did you say? We have you still living on your Montana ranch

Eating poop, yuck, no rules. The Big Fun Kids Okay, so we have you being a man eater, which is great, because like, that's like fun for you. I'd rather not, if that's okay. We have you being tired and irritable with neck pain, but showering safely.

These are all, if you can't see this right now, These are all words that she cut out of the magazine and pull on a poster board. And all of them are mean. But the good news is you're using hypnosis. That's something. That's like a water pig or a water bear. We have you having icky, sticky fun. That's good, right?

Is iticky, sticky fun good? You're unfortunately public enemy number one. I'm public enemy number one. But the good news is it says here, you are alive. What? survived the divorce, so you are alive. I was another sticker I got at the dollar store. This isn't even nice at mine for you.

It was so nice. All right. So we have you and me here. That's not us. Because it's a black woman and a white woman and neither of us are black. Be color blind. Okay. We have us.

Neither of us have had the experiences of a black woman in this country. One day will be old women unless one of us dies. What? It says cuddles and snuggles, no strings attached, which is exactly you and me. Never cuddle or smuggle. That's true. Then we have in a bunch of check marks,

body eggs, brain fog, bringing ears off us and neck pain. Because I feel like we'll all get old. You're manifesting so many bad things for me. And then we have the power of true friendship. You've manifested only bad things for me until the end. There's the only things the magazine has. And she manifests.

That's not even manifesting. You guys already have a true friendship. friendship. She just told you you're going to age, have a horrible divorce. It also says crab spiders are cannibals from the start. Great. So that's mine. Okay. That was interesting. I've never made a vision before that. I've never made a vision before that. Shane's giving me negative points. Okay, so you want to show me your for me. You can make it me here. Yes, you can go ahead.

I could only find those things in the magazines. I feel bad because I made mine nice. Oh no. Mine's really nice. That's okay. I'll just feel bad. I think mine's nice. Let's find out. That's fine out. Mine's vertical.

So I've never made a manifest... I've never made a vision board before. So first... The first thing I'm The first thing I'm Invititing for my friend Olivia is a bunch of men Okay This is a picture

Of men From a magazine I think it was from a health magazine Yeah They're all showing their muscle And they're all What's up with that guy in the top right? Well they're all 48 and older

They're all a bunch of older Buff men May I ask what's the point of Manifesting a bunch of older Buff men? I think they're going to carry her from to every destination she needs to go to. Oh, kind of like

what do they call that? A car? No. A bunch of older vascular men are going to be her car. I was going to say like with the people who carry a throne on their shoulder this kind of situation. Toy Yoda. Okay. Here I found in the magazine, Real Dirt on Jake.

And although it is a picture of Jake Jillon Hall, her boyfriend's name is Jake. Yeah, my boyfriend's name is Jake. His name is Jake Hayes. And you can check him out by going on real dirt on Jake.com. So I did an arrow to that. I wrote Jake Hayes. Okay.

And underneath that I found a ring, an advertisement for a ring. Oh, I love that. But the advertisement for the ring was for a purity ring for God. A purity ring for God? But we're going to pretend that it's for engaging. Got it. So it's an engagement ring that says you'll never walk alone. Oh.

Okay. And so he, she married. Jake Hayes. Oh, I love that. After that, they have sex. Okay, I found a word that says sex in a magazine, and I also found a picture of a...

That's a... Scorpion? I don't think that's a... That's some fucked-up shit. That's not even a scorpion. That's a weird thing. That's like a bug with a big butt. I gotta admit, having the word

sex next to what looks like a creature from an alien movie is very unsettling. It's truly upsetting, actually. I said that's your favorite position is whatever this weird. Scorpion bug is doing. I also generally dislike the word scorpion.

Then I said, you move to, and now here's the thing. This is when I started running out of magazines. And I started only looking at the magazine that was about ghosts. Cool. So you move to our haunted America. Okay, that's valuable. That's valuable. That's the title I found.

And you have a brief stint in county jail. I love that for me. Well, it's about, there's a. a bunch of wine bottles near it that for $69. So I feel like I was probably sent to jail for wine and sex. You're set. Yeah. You do a brief stint in county jail for wine.

I think that's hot. And then for full time, you're a ghost hunter. I think that's viable. I think that's really fun. Because in the ghost magazine. Well, Sid clearly has a better one. They had an article that said ghost hunting. And then I cut it out.

I put it on the board. Olivia. I didn't even do it. So then you have. You have a bunch of amazing neighbors, right? Especially this woman who I found a picture of who is just a nice woman wearing an apron. That's hot. But you find out she's a ghost.

Okay, well, that's cool. Because I found a title that said the ghosts next door and I put it over it. Got it. Then you have a baby after 40. Wow, that's rare. That's interesting that you're going to have a baby after 65. Yeah. Or wait, no.

You're, yes. you're having a baby over 40, you're having a baby over 65. Yeah, I'm going to be over 65. That's interesting that you both did that. Yeah, that's neat. It's past the age that a gynecologist or an OBGYN would recommend. We picked old pregnancies. So I saw a title that's that after 40.

I put that down over a picture of a really, really scary baby. That's a terrifying baby doll. Sid, is that real or it says frequently asked question? So underneath, the thing that the baby teaches you is that our child. Curses real. Okay. And that's a title I found in the ghost magazine. It said frequently asked questions.

Are curses real? So the baby you have after 40 teaches you if curses are real. And right next to it you wrote, you finally have a baby and she answers the question. Are curses real? She's saying your future child is a curse. Yeah. And your whole life you get to spend with me, Sid. Is that you, the haunted thing there?

It's a picture of the exorcist. Okay. Well, I love that. And then you follow your heart to him. A muffin. A muffin. A bleeding. A bleeding. A bleeding. Yes, jelly. Yeah, okay. You wrote some positive things. Amazing neighbors.

I love the positivity in this. And I'm the exorcist and never forget it. Okay, so, Shane, what's your view for your own future? Oh, that's tough. See, the problem is you guys made vision boards for each other. You're asking me to make a vision board for myself. I think that's fair because. you're sober. I feel like mine would be a little simpler.

I think I would just like, you know, maybe, uh, finally knows another language. I love that for you. That would be the type of stuff I would manifest. Just like a... What about the ghosts? I don't know if I'd want to manifest any ghosts. Okay, that's weird.

Okay, so I think we're moving on to a story time. Big story time energy. Big story time energy. That Nick energy. Sorry. What was one of the drunken times you've ever been? Right. No, I'm kidding, not right now.

Do you have a story? How do I have a story? Crazy and just any sort of intoxicated story. One time I was intoxicated and I was, it was late in light and I was standing outside of my college. And people were walking by and I was running out of swipes, meal swipes. Oh, meal swipes is how you get food at the dorms. And I was running out of mail swipes and I was drunk and I was walking up to people and anyone. And I was saying, I swear to God, I will give you a blowjob or eat out your pussy for just two meal swipes.

I'll just, just two. I swear to fuck. You and someone else? One or two meal swipes. Well, two of my friends were hiding in the bushes. Fuck. And here, let me tell you. Why were they hiding in the bushes?

Can I tell you something? Everyone thought it over. Why wouldn't you want this face to do that for you? this face to do that for it okay Olivia what look at this face I have I love it but what I'm talking about like you want this face on your generals for you I mean that's valid I understand what you're saying but you should probably give her a foul for that if I have like 19 foul and no one and no one ever said yes no one took me a lot I think those people be like doing that was then making

the right decision in that scenario. Listen, am I offered? You know. You guys were like, let's do a podcast where we get hammered and talk about insane shit. I don't want my dad to hear it. I don't want my dad to be disappointed. He's not going to watch it. We'll put a warner up.

He's disappointed. No, you're perfect and he's perfect and you guys are both great. What if he doesn't like me? No, he loves you when I kicked a light. So here's another drug. drunk story. I know. We both have like unnaturally

high obsessions with our dads and like want our dads to think we're great. That's awesome. I love my dad so much. I'm the opposite of daddy issues. No, I know. I'm like, it's truly like, hey, Ray, if you're listening to this, like you're a fucking

10 of a 10. Dad, you're so good. This is the first time we've ever been drunk on our podcast. Yeah. Okay. Those were some good stories. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, Shane. You want to tell us a good sober story? Yeah, is there a funny story of what happened when you were sober? When I was sober, I feel like I have a lot of stories when I was sober. Tell me a good one. One time I was at the airport and I saw Flava Flav just walking down the airport. No luggage, no luggage, no anything.

He just was wearing his big clock necklace, just walking down. And he walked right past it. And that was just insane. Have you ever seen Flavis? of love. Of course, I loved filib of love. I love New York.

I love New York. Have you ever seen Frank the entertainer or basement affair? No, I've not seen that one. Oh, that's the next one. Okay, thank you. That's great.

It's beautiful, and it's the most perfect reality show that's ever existed on the face of the year. Fantastic. So you saw? I saw, I just, that's a fun story. I was sober when that happened

when I saw Flav of Flav. I love that. It's pretty crazy. Oh, that was a long time ago. I love that. That was like, that was shortly after Flavored love. Like, he was, it was a big deal. He was flavoring all up in there.

He was flavoring everywhere. Absolutely. He probably missed New York so much. Oh, my God, I would. Probably missed New York a lot. Yeah. Who did you guys win I love New York? New York.

I don't remember. Yeah, New York needs to win. New York can't win I love New York. Shane, we should ask you questions. Shane, how long have you been a member at Smosh? Like six years? I'm doing good. Oh, hell yeah.

Shane, how is it being official Goldbergs? I'm not. How does it feel being an official Goldberg? I don't, I guess, I don't feel like I am an official Goldberg. Shane Hoff is on the Goldbergs. I am on the Goldbergs. I have got a question for both of you. I'll start with you, Olivia.

Olivia, do you have any wise word? Do you have any wisdom that you want to give for the listeners? Yeah, absolutely. Here's my wisdom, right? Don't fuck with anyone else. Just like, be, okay. And if anyone fucks with you, I'll kill them. That's my wisdom

Sid, do you have any wisdom? Yeah, I have so much wisdom It's like hard so much how much I have Wait, what? I have so much wisdom, it's hard how much I have My wisdom that I want to tell you all of you Is that you're going to get A piece of postmates

That is going to be eaten And when that happens, you're going to complain and nothing's going to happen. So let it the fuck go. Just let it go. Your piece of wisdom is let the postmates go. Let it go and know that you lost that money and let it go. You're not getting it back.

Dang. I had a piece of burrito stolen. And I didn't even want to say it and I didn't even tell Laby. I sliced off that piece and I ate the rest. You know what? I will tell you. Even though that person's hands touched it, Here's what I'll say.

I would have done the exact same thing. Because my thing is I paid for it. Okay, so now we're on to the assessment portion of this. So Shane, we gave him report cards so that he could keep us in the line and let us know how we did. This is really one of those episodes you have to watch on YouTube because I really don't think anyone's can understand us without seeing our mouths. No, if you'd, no. That's fine. I can go through my report cards here.

So I'm going to start with Olivia. I'm going to start with... Okay, I love that. So we've got five categories here on this report card. It's making sense, not being irritating, slurring, saying wise shit, and overall score. So, Olivia, when it came to making sense, I'm actually going to give you an A-minus. That's really incredible. You made sense.

Oh, my God. Your sentences were coherent. They were connected. You did kind of repeat stories occasionally. You brought up the cat party again, as if you were. you've completely forgotten that you'd just told it 10 months prior. You would say things that were uncomfortable, but it would make a lot of sense. And I would say they were more uncomfortable because it made perfect sense.

Not being irritating, I'm going to give you a C. That's also valid. You were, you kind of really, your vision board showed that you had no good intentions for your best friend. What's wrong with you? I give you everything I have in me. You told a deeply, deeply revealing story about relatives' friend that made us all uncomfortable. Jake was in the other room, but I could even feel his discomfort from there. Slurring, I put two because I caught you twice slurring.

I think there was much more, but I wrote two. Thank you. Saying wise shit, I said no. You did not. Overall score kind of bad. Teachers' comments, I wrote, you kind of told kids they're hot. You were talking about kids' bodies and you start a whole thing about... Listen, this is good to know.

You asked me if I was overweight as a child. You were kind of really talking about children's bodies a lot. This all checks out as if she was sober. So, you know, we're going to leave it there. I'm going to say kind of bad. I love that. Not horrible, just kind of bad. You know what?

I appreciate that. Thank you. Of course. Now, we're moving on to Sid. Hi. My name is Sid. Sid making sense not really A lot of times it was not really tracking for me

It would just kind of You'd just kind of give up a little bit I usually do Not being irritated I actually gave you an A minus You were not being rude Or irritating you were really giving people their space to talk Yeah

I think sometimes it was almost the opposite You'd kind of get in your own world over here so yeah slurring yeah definitely definitely slurring I wrote yeah saying wise shit nope

you definitely didn't you did not say I would say the opposite of but the good thing is Olivia said the opposite of wise shit she said bad stuff she gave bad advice you just did say anything wise okay I can live with that

because that's like me normally hey okay overall score I wrote I guess I don't know But my teacher's comment Is believe in yourself And see just there a second ago You're not believing in yourself

You would just kind of resort To talking badly about yourself You know what I back that believe in yourself Thank you guys so much Yeah you would really You'd really say some Not necessarily mean

But you just kind of be like Yeah I don't know I kind of suck And I'd be like oh hey stop Like you know And the story you told from college I don't think you could believe in yourself A little bit more I'm going to really say, like, I think, you know, you can...

Here's the thing. Whoever takes my hand in marriage one day is so lucky. Yeah, I... Hey, hey, that's a star. I'm totally... I second that, you motherfuckers. I'm fucking catch. I make breaded chicken like no one else's ever made breaded chicken.

That's fantastic. If you know Giski, she's got the Gisky. I make some really good breaded chicken. So if you ever marry me, you're welcome. Yep. I second that. I'm really happy to hear that. Other than that, I've got nothing.

Okay, and we're back to you need to believe in yourself. But overall, I would say both of you are incredibly talented, funny people. Well, you're wonderful, shame. Is there anything you want to promote? Is there anything you want to say? Is there anything you want to do? You know, don't drink and drive. I love that.

You guys are not going to drink and drive. No. I know that for sure. And, yeah, no. I don't know. I'm on Twitter and stuff. Go check out Shane Top on Twitter. Listen, if you don't go check Shane Top at on Instagram.

You don't have to. I also have a TikTok that I use occasionally. Shane, what's your Twitter, TikTok and Instagram? My Twitter's at Super Shane. I think everything else is like the Shane Top or, yeah, I think everything else is Shane Top or the Shane Top. And Top has two Ps. And Shane has S-H-A-Y-N-E.

Yeah, exactly. So it's like a fun spelling for everyone. But yeah. And he's the best. He's just like hands down the best. So you guys, thank you for watching. If you don't follow him, I'll beat you up in your yard. Okay, that'll be some more.

And. Thanks for watching our first drunk episode. If we do this again, I'm sorry. Yeah, if we do this again, I fully apologize. That's Olivia. I'm sitting and I coughing, but it's not COVID. Yeah, it's not COVID. I'm Olivia.

I don't cough and it's still not COVID. And this is Shane who also doesn't have COVID. I do not have COVID. Shane Top from Smosh and the Goldberg's. What an absolute hero. A freaking gem. Thank you so much for watching. Make sure you go follow Shane Top on TikTok,

Twitter, and Instagram, and we'll see you next time. Thank you guys so much for watching Sid and Olivia talk shit. I'm Olivia. I'm Sid. And that's Shane. And we all talk the big shit. Bye.

Bye.