Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - SNEAK PEEK

Episode Date: September 20, 2021

Sneak Peek to Syd & Olivia's podcast premiering September 21st! (2021) Listen here or watch on Youtube!https://www.youtube.com/SydOliviaTube Follow the podcast on social media!Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sydandolivia TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sydandoliviatalkshit Twitter: https://twitter.com/sydandolivia About Pierced:Pierced is the first creator-led podcast network that’s making podcasts for the girlies. We’re tired of every man on the face of the planet having a podcast and decided it’s time for a new era of podcasting - it’s time to give the girls the mic 🎤 Pierced podcasts features all your fav content creators in a new light. We collaborate with creators to produce podcasts that speak to the complex and unique experiences of the girls and young women of today – the podcasts we wish existed when we were younger. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you do, it could be from our TikTok. Or maybe it's from our parents who regularly post about us on Facebook. Yeah, or it could have been, we had a couple of Snapchat shows called Apocalypse Goals and Stir Crazy. Or you might just be mixing us up with two other white girls, which is fair. That's fair. We have a podcast. We have a podcast now and it was actually asked for. We didn't even do it without anyone asking.

Trust us. We didn't want to put out an unwanted podcast to the world. We were really, we were really scared to do it. And then a couple of people were like, well, you can do it. And now we're doing it. Now we're doing it. So if you asked for it, you better freaking be here. Now, this isn't episode one.

No, this is a trailer. This is a sneak piece. This is like a little intro to show you who we are. What's happening? What's it all about? Our podcast is called, You okay? Ah!

Our podcast is called Sit and Olivia talk shit. What kind of shit are we going to talk, Olivia? We're going to talk about all kinds of shit. Okay. So to answer a couple questions that people are always asking. Yeah. They ask stuff like, who is who? Yeah.

Which one is you? So me, the one with the big frizzy hair, I am Sid. I have the darker hair. I am Olivia. Perfect. Okay, so now that we've got that out of the way. So we got that out of the way. So remember that.

And of course, you can always remember that I'm Olivia because I have a picture of Sid and back with me. And you can obviously always remember that I'm Sid because I have a picture of Olivia in back of me. Exactly. And if you're not watching this, why don't you go watch it on YouTube? That's true. If you are listening to this, hell yeah, but why not watch it on YouTube where you can see some fun visual components for you? You can see some fun visual components. You can see any time that we cough. Yep, you can see it. So you don't just have to imagine it. Okay. We have known each other for almost 11 years or over. I feel like over 11 years.

We met in high school. Yeah. We were on an improv team together. super cool. Because we were really cool. Yeah. Um, and yeah, and then we both went to the same college. We both went to UCLA. Yeah, because we're needy. Yeah. And we decided to be a comedy duo. Mm-hmm. And then now we're here and here we are. And here we are for you. That's the background. That's the background. That's the backstory. So we've known each other for a really long time. We talk over each other, but it's wanted. And it's one of those things. That's like what it is. We're both loud. We're loud. Um, we're going to introduce ourselves in, in a deeper way, though. And the only way we really know how to do that is through monologue.

Through monologza. Through monologza. Yeah. But it would be so boring to do a monologue about yourself. I would hate to do a monologue about myself. I'm not a narcissist. Too much. I'm not a big narcissist.

Just a small narcissist. So we've decided to write monologues about the other person from the other person's perspective. So I will be reading a monologue as Sid. And I'll be reading a monologue as Olivia. So you want to get these going? Go for it, Sid. I'll start because I'm Sid, and that's the name that comes first.

That's the first name in the names. All right, ready? This is me. And now, just to clarify for all of you guys, I'm really Olivia, but I'm pretending to be Sid starting now. Okay, Sid. Okay. And then can I pretend to be Wayne Brady?

Yeah, absolutely. For mine, you should pretend. Oh, during this? Yeah, absolutely. So during this, I'm Wayne Brady. Okay. Just in case anyone wants to know. Okay, perfect.

Singing improv is fun. Take it away. Sid? Hi, my name is Sid Heller and a hot teacher convinced me I have a lazy eye even though I don't. Oh no. This is how it starts. Oh no. I don't know how hot I am, but just so you can picture my sexy little body. No! No! No! I have beautiful blue eyes, neither of which are lazy. Long light brown to blondeish hair, some of which is mine, and some of which is from a dead. person. Well, wait a second. It's just fake. Oh, is it? Okay. Well, I mean, no, it's, you know, it's like, it's real. It's real hair. It might be from a dead person. It's extensions. Could be from an alive person. Could be. Old people are obsessed with my gams. And a scary taxi driver

once said, oh, the body on that one. Oh, no. Where is this going? I grew up in Vegas. And even though I'm Jewish, I did a Christmas song about human trafficking when I was a child. It's not about human trafficking. You're asking Santa for a boy. That's true. So, I don't know what I don't know what to call that. You did not write it. You just sang it. So yeah, yeah. So what can you do? What can you do? I am an expert on sustainable fashion in every Disney Channel original movie. My dad, who loves the voice, grew up in Mexico City and I love Mexican food. I want to marry an olive garden. Yeah. Everyone is scared of me when they meet me because I'm I'm shy at first, but so hot.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah, that's true. Everyone's like, oh, my God, she's, but it's just because you're hot. This is a robotic monologue. Yeah. There's no personality. I have also things that you would never say ever. I want to marry an art of garden.

Here's something you would never say, ready? I have a beautiful voice. Oh, my God. You do. You have a beautiful singing voice. Oh, wow. Thank you. You have to buy me, catch it a pepe and send it to me in the mail.

Oh, that sounds, that's something I would say. I am rightfully obsessed with my grandma and my little bat dog, Mousy. My ass is great and I always have the instinct to get a tattoo of someone right before they are canceled. This is real. That's true. This is me. This is exactly who I'm supposed to be. This is real.

This is me. I am Sid and I will take the five cheese ziti with enough parmesan to make it a six. cheese ziti that's my order from olive garden that was really good thank you thank you wayne brady i'm wayne brady and i approve this message all right amazing wow that cid sounds like such a character but i'm wayne brady so for this this next one you're gonna be olivia but now i'm olivia and i'm gonna be vindiesel perfect okay zip i'm olivia welcome to my monologue family oh from fast and curious okay guys so um hi hi hi my name is sidney heller i'll be auditioning for the role of olivia de laurenta I'm represented by Gersh and Amipop, and here we go.

Hello, sweet young kingdom. I'm Princess Olivia. It's period peace. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. You may think you know me, but here is some trivia. Oh, it's in rhyme. Oh, no.

I sound like a princess, a princess of Disney. I sing to the squirrels and the birds trying to fuck me. Yeah. And while the sound of my voice, voices as wholesome as can be, I do Krav Magas. So don't you ever fucking cross me or I'll absolutely choke you out in the parking lot. I just figured I'd write it as like a Disney monologue. I think that's great. It's like subverting an expectation. I love it. Yeah. You may know of my mother, an actress from the 80s, don't come close to her or I'll give you a concussion with my hands. Or perhaps you've heard

my boyfriend singing the sweet tune. If you even so much as look at him, I swear to to fuck, I'll remove your favorite body part and grill it for my dinner. I have long hair of brown and eyes of dark hazel, and I'm sweet and Italian, just like basil. Oh my God. Right? Wow, that was really good. Well, you know what? That was really beautiful.

I went to all of school. I'm a timeless beauty with a heart of gold, and if you come after Sid, I swear to fuck, don't even try me. Do you want to start something? Do you want to see me shove my hands deep into your throat and play your organs like the kind you find in church? So help me, God, I'll go full hulk on your ass and make you regret the day you were born, you monster. This is really accurate.

Yeah, it's in rhyme. This is great. I love it. Anything in rhyme is true. Anything in rhyme is accurate. That's the rule. So twiddled-D-D-D-D-D-Day. When I walk into a room, the whole world says,

Yay. Aw. For I am Olivia with the world's greatest smile, and while I don't admit it, Walk to Sid down the aisle. It will be a real legal wedding. I, Olivia DeLorentis, agree to that. I love that.

I, Vin Diesel, love that. And I, Wayne Brady, love it even more. I think we should do a night out on the town as us. It's time for our buddy cup movie. I like how yours was like a beautiful rhyme with lots of violence. And mine was just me sexually harassing you as a robot. Yeah, I think both of them were really accurate. And I think it helped everyone,

know who we are. Now you guys have no confusion at all. You guys can be welcomed into this friendship where we just talk at you. Yeah, so that's, so, so here's the thing. We're going to have a bunch of episodes of this. They're going to be airing on Tuesdays. Yeah, talk shit Tuesdays.

Am I right? Is that catchy or what? Is that fucking catchy or what? Are we going to do it? Are we going to do it? Hashtag or what do we do? I don't know. We might forget.

I, we might. But you should listen because we're going to be talking about a bunch of shit. Yep. hence the title sit and Olivia talk shit so thank you for listening to our little trailer and come back next time for the big thing for the big thing okay thank you