Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - The Curse Of Gerald Ford's Tomb

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

Patrick McDonald and Kylie Brakeman from Artists On Artists On Artists On Artists are on the big bad podcast for you this week! from Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon & Fourthwall! https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia https://sydandolivia-shop.fourthwall.com/ Artists On Artists On Artists On Artists https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCry_pllgLAt-Rev5XJUBBlw Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Angelique voiced by the insanely talented Shelby Young https://www.instagram.com/shelbyhyoung Chapters 00:00 | Patrick and Kylie Yayayay 02:38 | Presidential Facts 13:14 | Say it Longer 18:15 | Girl Boss or Girl-Floss: Disney Addition 24:40 | Price is Right in the Room 29:02 | Patrick Reeds Werewolf P*rn :( 33:00 | New Creatures 43:03 | Ventriloquist Impressions 46:11 | Name his Boat This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RFK. Ghalam? Yeah. Yeah, that could really be either. Wow, that was really good. You know what RFK is like, oh, my precious. Oh, hello. Oh, hello.

Welcome to Sid and Olivia Talk shit. It's the big bad podcast for you. Guys, it's a big bad podcast for you. I'm the Sud one. I'm the Olivia one. I'm the Olivia one. Today, we have two other very special ones. We're very excited about these two other special ones.

these are long time friends of the us you know like friends of the pod friends of the us in our lives they're genius you know them they're from artists on artists on artists we have Patrick McDonald's What's up?

Which one was that? Oh that was worse than whatever We didn't even say anything funny This room is hot This is a hot room Is he feeling good already You guys are

I was thinking about this in the car. I love you guys. Wait, that's insightful. Wait, that's so nice that you're thinking about that in the car. I love you guys so much. I love you guys. Oh, you know what?

I was thinking in the car. Shit, I have to reschedule my psych appointment because it's right now. Oh. And then I did. Okay. And then I thought, God, I love them. Wow.

That's so sweet. I love them. So sweet. You guys were, today we're doing, you already know this. You got. Hi, everyone. We're doing segment roulette. Essentially, we all came up with segment ideas.

Some of them are more thought out than others. Some of them are really stupid. And we're going to pick segments, and that's what we'll do. Also, do you want to introduce our third guest? Oh, yeah, this is our third guest, Emily Radijowski. She's been on the podcast before. Hi. Hi, I'm Rada.

She eats ice. She's here to talk about the second rise of inspiration. and how to stay under me. Perfect. But yeah, so do you guys want to do this segment game thing? I love the. Segment roulette.

This is an episode called Segment roulette. Play the music. Got the music. Okay. Who wants to go first? Oh my gosh. This is crazy. We're getting the business.

Let's get into it. Let's get into it. This is so exciting. Okay. Okay, this one says, are these presidential facts true? Oh, that one is. It's mine.

Whoa. Okay. Okay, here we go. Okay, guys. So this segment is when I tell you, probably my worst one. Oh, I love that. So this is, I'm going to tell you facts about U.S. president. You tell me if these statements are true or false.

So I guess they're not necessarily facts. Oh. Now that's a fact. These are maybe facts. Things that sound like facts. Yeah. Sentences, perhaps. These are sentences.

You tell me if they're true or false. Okay. The first one, Gerald Ful, Ward's birth name was Ashley. I'm going to say yes. That feels true to me. Yeah. I'm going to say false.

It is false. One point for Patrick. That's not real. That's a really convincing, like, gender swapped name. This is a weird thing, a little personal fact of mine. Tell me. My uncle designed Gerald Ford's tomb. Oh, shit.

Yeah. And he didn't say. Wait. What? And you didn't lead with that? Wait, why are you talking about? I've actually never verbalized this fact in my life. What are you talking about?

So Gerald Ford's tomb is in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where he gets buried. He still gets buried there. He got buried there to get buried. He gets there all the time. They take him up, bury him. His number one favorite place to get buried. He's obsessed with it. Top 10 places get buried.

Watch mojo's top 10 places to get buried. For Gerald. We're going to down the places for Gerald Ford to get buried. Number 10 Grand Rapids, Michigan Number nine, Grand Rapids, Michigan. They're getting more specific. Number eight, front street

in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Number seven, by Patrick's uncle. It's not a place. It's just by Patrick's uncle. It's like one fact divided into ten numbers. So wait, this is your first uncle? Like, I'm sorry. This is an uncle, wait, this is an uncle like you know.

Like, you never have a relationship with. Uncle Ray? Yeah, yeah. He has, has passed, which we're very sad about. We love Uncle Ray. How, I mean, how old is he? He was 60s, 70.

He'd be like 70s now. But he was young. He, yeah, he designed the tomb. He was an architect. Chaddh, Uncle Ray. I can't believe this has never come up. The frequency with which we have been working on stuff like five days a week for the past three months and you've never mentioned that your uncle designed Gerald Ford.

We've also been friends for a very long time. The fact that it's just the last month you're surprised. I can't believe it's never come up. I just realize now it's kind of noteworthy to bring up. It's extremely noteworthy. It's kind of like if you ever have a corporate job to just like go right into a fun of that. It's killer for two truths and a lie.

It's like, oh, that should be the first thing you should be your only two truths and a lie. Just that one and you don't even have to think of the other two. Brigh Sheila, shout out. My God. You love you. Thanks for your work. was your worst bit. I had no idea who we were dealing with.

I know. I feel like born identity to fact just now. It came out. It's never been relevant. Imagine that ever being relevant in my life. Yeah. Ever. We don't talk about Gerald Ford.

No, we don't. You could shoehorn it in if you really want it. Okay. I think I will. Once it comes out, I won't go away. If someone's like, I have really bad abdominal pain, I need to go to the hospital. Will you drive me?

You could be like, my Uncle Ray, that's fine. Gerald. You know who else had Adonorable Pain in the throes of death, Gerald Ford. And my uncle died after designing Gerald Ford. Wait, you hold on a minute. There's no correlation to that. My uncle didn't die because he designed.

Oh, tell you. But are we sure, though? There's no curse of the tomb. Are we sure? Are we sure? No curse of the tomb. Gerald Ford's tomb is not cursed. You don't know that.

I just usually when I hear the word tomb, it's usually like following the curse of the mummies. Right, right. No, I want to clear the tomb. Right away. My Uncle Ray did not die because he designed Gerald Ford's tomb. Oh my God. Gerald Ford was a mummy in his room. He killed your uncle. I'm so excited for the TMZ article. Wait, did you hear that Gerald Ford the mummy is dating Emily Radichowski? Yeah, absolutely.

Your Gerald Ford's tomb is cursed in other news. We're counting down the top 10. It's that Emily Radikowski curses. Okay. Okay. Second fact. Or is it fiction? That's a good title.

Fact or is it fiction? Fact or is it fiction? Okay. Richard Nixon had a lock of Abe Lincoln's hair. Oh. Oh my gosh. I wanted to be true, but I'm going to go false. I'm going to say fact.

I'm going to say false. It's false. But I will say a different president had a lock of Abe Lincoln's hair. That's why I thought it was false. I was like Nixon wouldn't. No. I was like he wouldn't. not my nix.

First off, he's too sweaty. He wouldn't be able to pick it up without it coming all apart on his hand. No, no, no, no. My mom has locks of my hair. Really? And that's okay. I think that's okay. And all my baby teeth.

My mom has all my baby. People were obsessed with every president's obsessed with Lincoln. And also Lincoln was obsessed with his own legacy. He has a lot of diary entries about, God, I hope they remember me. God, I hope they remember me. God, I hope. Is that true? Yes.

He was obsessed when he was living with his own legacy. Does that make it cringe? He cared a lot about it. Would you say? Does that make it cringe? Little cringe. Like, he wrote the Gettysburg dress being like, God, I hope they like this. It's not good for them to remember me by.

Yeah, being like, I hope they remember this is worse than, I hope they like this is like, sure, you know, trying to do a good job at your thing. But being like, I hope this is my legacy. He tried really, when you find out Lincoln tried really hard, you make, he looks different. Is it cringe to try hard at your legacy? Yeah. It is really, that does make it so much worse, actually. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Third fact. Yeah. You ready? Yeah. Martin Van Buren wrote an autobiography without mentioning his wife. Oh, immediately true. I believe that. I believe that true, true, true.

True. I think that's true. It is true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. Yeah. Richard Nixon used to eat ketchup with cottage cheese.

True. Oh, I believe that's psycho. False. True. It's true. Whoa. Yeah. And in fact, it was described as his favorite snack.

What? Wow, the fact that it's a... Wow. Has there been a less appealing man in the history of... He's a gross man. Only one. Only one. He's a gross man.

Only one. He's a gross man. Okay, are you ready? We got another Nixon. I mean, this is a... I mean, Nixon facts are clearly the best. Yeah, truly. Richard Nixon proposed to his wife the day they met.

Oh, I'm going to say true. I believe that. That feels really true, but we've been on such a true heater that I'm going to go false, but I think it's probably true. I'm going to say true because I think that there's some world they were like supposed to meet or they were cousins or something. And then they met and then he was like, well, I'm a love bomber anyway. Yeah, it's true. He's a sim. He's such a sim.

Now, this part is interesting. Yeah. Richard Nixon also used to drive his future wife to dates with other guys. I believe that immediately. Oh, interesting. True or false? I would love for you to say this part is interesting and it'd be fake. Because it means you're like, I'm a great writer.

Now, this is interesting, it's something I've come up with. This part is interesting because it's made up. This is interesting because I have an active imagination. Okay, so I'm going to say true. Yeah, I'll say true. Yeah, it's true. Was it while they were dating? So, yeah, he proposed the first day they met.

She was like, I am still going to go on other dates. He was like, absolutely, I will drive you there. No. Wow. Whoa. Wow. It was a strange man. You know, people say like relationships now are weird, but it's like, I think relationships

are weird. Yeah. I think people put it so much on the now. They're like, oh, dating nowadays. It's like, no. Maybe ever. It's always been weird. It's always, yeah.

And especially back then, I mean, you hear all those. I mean, this is kind of a meme at this point, and people talk about this a lot. But you hear about those stories where, like, people in the 30s and 40s are like, he asked me out every day for a year. And I kept saying no. And it's like, that is. That is fucked up. No, he hit in the trunk of my car and told all the family members, I was dead.

Yeah. My bubby and Zeta, my bubby was in an elevator with a guy she was dating at a New Year's party. And my Zeta came into the elevator and wouldn't let her leave unless she agreed to go on a date with him instead. Crazy. Well, you're here now and I do like that part. And my buddy now, oh, she's dead now. And my buddy now, get this, is dead. She was terrified of elevators.

after that. Oh, my. Oh, no. Wow. Oh, my God. She was terrified of elevators because she met her husband in one. Ah! She, like, she displaced her fear.

She displaced her fear of husband on television. I was scared another husband is going to be in there. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I feel really good about my, my grandma and grandpa who have passed up, well, they've all passed on. But, but, but. They met in a second marriage. So I feel like they wanted to do it.

Yeah. That's pretty good. My grandmother, too. My grandmother divorced her husband because he was joining the Nazi party. And then she married a Jewish guy and they moved to America. Whoa. Okay. That's like a, it's kind of a girl boss.

That's a good ending. It's a kind of girl boss. It's a scary start to this story. Yeah. And yeah, so there's that. At least she divorced him. She did. He was a Nazi and she was.

She was like, I don't even feel that for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One more. Here we go. John Adams had a dog named Satan. I want that to be true. So I'm going to say yes. I don't think it is.

I think that's false. I think in his time this would have been like a big scandal. It would have been a big deal. I'm going to say false. It's true. Whoa. John Adams had two dogs. One of them was named Satan and one of them had like a normal name.

That's so crazy. Yeah, Satan and Jeff. Craig. That's so weird. Isn't that wild? So that was that segment. Music. Cut the music. That was that.

Oh, wow. Who wants to pick the next one? I'll pick. Yeah, you pick. So this is lovely. This is really fun. We're having a blast here. Okay, say it longer.

Oh, that's mine too. Okay. You're on a heater. Okay, I'm on a heater. Okay, you're on fire. Okay, guys, unfortunately, this is also my segment. This is called Say It Longer. Music.

Cut the music. Okay, I'm going to say a short sentence. Oh, I'll be great at this. know you will. Is that why you came up with it? God damn it. I'm going to say a short sentence. Then I'll give you a number. You must make an identical sentence with that many words. Wow. For example, I have cats. 13. This person who is called my name takes care of multiple feline creatures. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. So it's the same, it's the same sentiment. You can't change the meaning. Correct. But just extend. That's correct. Okay. For that. This is

like how I leave voicemails. Yeah, Olivia leaves voicemails where like she'll, she like talks really fast. She knows the amount of time though that she's supposed to use the leave a voicemail. So she'll use that amount of time, but triple the words. So it's more words. That's good. That's an Olivia voicemail. Okay. Okay. So first of all, we'll go with Kylie, why don't we go for you first? Okay. Take out the trash is your sentence. Okay. The amount of words you can use, 25. 25. Okay. And can I repeat any of the words that just happened or no? Yeah, you can. Okay. Take out the trash. That's it.

Something that must be done in this house. We're both in 11. Is the act of eliminating such garbage that has 20? but yeah yeah befallen us no befallen is one word befallen us befallen us befallen us do it now yeah

kind of a run on sentence really really good now we can't out of work I would leave that in a voicemail okay okay are you ready Patrick yes you're cute 47

oh my god these started way higher that I thought they were. I know, actually, so mean. You're cute, 47. It would have been so shitty if it was just like 10. Well, it's almost like begging to be poetic.

It's almost like Shakespeare too. It's begging to like lose your mind a little. Yeah. When I look at you, I am overcome by a feeling of joy and happiness and warmth inside my body

20 that cannot be undone by just looking away from you and I really have to tell you that you might just be the cutest person I've met

Wow that cannot be undone by looking away is actually great Yeah. That is so sweet. Okay. That was... Wow.

A little poetic. Yeah. Kind of the comment. I know. Swoon of the comments. I get a swoon in the chat. If you guys think that I wouldn't be able to be undone by looking away from you, you hit me up in the DMs. Okay.

I've got stink ass. Yeah. 56. Okay. She can do it. Okay. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no.

No. No. 56. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no. No, I need big help right now because I have a problem with my ass. Help me my ass make a stink so big and bad.

I can't get the stink out of my nose, hair, boobies, pants, and brawl. How many of my... I think that's 41. Okay. My stink ass is so bad. Can't stop it. I need how many? 50.

I think it was. 56. Wipes for my ass. Wow. Beautiful. Wow. No, no, no. That's really good.

No, no, no. It was like such a distinct author's voice in that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got into a character. That was really good. I really have stink ass.

So I had to like really get. imaginative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had to like channel sick ass. I'd be like, who could this be? Right. Um, music. Cut the music. Okay, let's do a different segment. Oh my God, so excited. Okay. It's another Sid one. No. But I'm excited for this one. What is it? It's girl boss or girl floss. Oh. Pass the music. This is a segment we do often on our show. When I tell you it's less than nothing, it's less than nothing. It's my, it's a segment that when we did our live show, people chanted it in the audience. Wow. I think one person said it.

Yeah. Yeah. We didn't have it ready. But we do now. So this is Girl Boss or Girl Floss. This was developed because we needed an episode the next day at 3 in the morning. I was like, God, what the fucking what you do? This is great.

And it's Girl Boss or Girl Floss. Today is Disney Edition. Oh. Great. Okay. So the basic rules of Girl Boss or Girl Floss is that we're going to, Sid is going to say a name. And you're going to tell us if this is a famous or historical Girl Boss. or if it is a female doctor, Sid found on Zokdoch.

A dentist, a female dentist, Sid found out of us. So is this a dentist or is this a girl boss? Yeah. Okay. A girl floss. And Disney editions. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. The first one, Ariel. I think that's a girl boss, right? I think that's a girl boss, yeah. I think that's a girl boss. Yeah. Girl floss.

What? Ariel, also known as Ariel Farhadi. This man is an oral surgeon in Beverly Hills and is also not a girl. Oh. Oh, shit. That's hard. Dang. That's tough.

That's a tough. Hang on my face. Debbie Ryan. That's a girl boss. I know who she is. I'm going to say girl floss. I think there's a lot of people that could be named Debbie Ryan. I'm going to say girl boss.

I don't know. Debbie Ryan, aka Deborah Ryan. Oh, no. Is a dental therapist and a hygienist at Rod McNeil and associates in the UK. Wow. Girl floss. What is a dental therapist? therapist.

I don't know. U.K. Teeth feelings. Okay. How are your teeth feelings? How are your teeth feelings? In the UK, they're like, how are you? And how are your teeth?

How are you? Okay. You ready? Debbie Lopez. Mm-hmm. Girl boss. Girl floss. Girl floss.

Girl boss. Yes. I knew it because I was like, that's nothing. Okay. In 1978, Debbie Lopez, a 10-year-old girl, was allegedly slapped by Winnie the Pooh at Disneyland. When taken to court, the employee entered the courtroom after a recess, wearing the poo costume, and responded to questions while on the witness stand as poo would, including dancing a jig. As poo would. Wow.

Appearing as poo showed the jury that the costume's arms were too. low to the ground to slap a girl of the victim's height. The jury acquitted the worker after 21 minutes of deliberation. Wow. Girl boss. Debbie Lopez. So many things they didn't know you were allowed to do. Wow.

Lost the court case. Now I want to go to jury duty. I know. Like now I really would love to. Getting on the stand as poo and being like, so this is how poo would kind of answer these questions. Yeah. I know you could do like a bit.

So, oh, father. I can't slap it even with me. That's crazy. Can I volunteer a girl boss that I, of course. That came to my mind just now. I have a friend that went to Disneyland and met an old woman near the end of the night at the Peter Pan ride who is having people go in front of her because this old woman likes to get in line, be the last person on the Peter Pan ride and put Peter to sleep. She goes about four to five times a week. And I don't know if she still goes, but there's a woman that goes to Disneyland and likes to kind of tuck Peter in and put Peter into bed as the last.

last woman on the Disneyland of Peter Pan ride. Wait, what? And if you're here, if you're that woman. Come on the pod. Yeah. Please come on the pod. I think she fit right in. Yeah.

Yeah. So she, I have questions. She lingers. Wait. She's a go ahead. Go ahead. Oh, after you. After you.

After you. I'm going last because I put Peter to bed. Does she think? She's putting Peter to bed or does she actually touch anything? Um, she doesn't touch anything. She just says like, good night, Peter, whatever is the last person on the ride and puts in the middle. And how old is she?

She doesn't get off. Some animatronic is in this guy She's throwing a sheet on him Yeah She's old, old Okay Like 70s maybe Well that's fine

You know she's not Hurting anyone I guess yes She's not hurting anyone Because she's doing this I would say my friend also He has kind of boyish features And she was obsessed with him

Okay so she's hurting someone Okay So we're in Did she she would like Followed him afterward or no No But she just like talked to him a lot And then, but this, also, my friend, he was in Italy once and someone came up and said,

I just have to tell you, I love Peter Pan. Like, he looks that boyish. I just have to tell you, I love Peter Pan. Like, he's like, he's recognized. Yeah, yeah. They said that, like, it's like, I love your work. Yeah, yeah. I love Peter Pan.

I need to let you know, I am a huge fan of Peter Pan. You probably get this all the time. So I love Peter Pan. That's so crazy. That's insane. So that's why he met this woman, yeah. Who is this person? You might know him.

I'll tell you. great. Okay, one more. Okay, I'm excited. Girl boss or girl floss? Okay. Bridget Mendler. God, if there's another, there's, um, ooh. I'm going to say girl boss because that, to me, sounds like an animator. Okay. Yeah. My instinct says girl boss. So for some reason, I'm going to say girl floss, because I can't trust my intuition. I'm trying to figure that out. I really can't. Yeah, now that I, I can't, I can't go down the Debbie Ryan path again. So I will go girl floss.

Okay, so we have girl floss, girl floss, girl floss. Girl boss. And Bridget Mendler is a girl boss. Ah. She is a former Disney Channel actress. Yes. Dog for the blog? Yes.

And now she's the CEO of a space company. Okay. Whoa. That is actually so a girl boss. Isn't that crazy? That is very gross. So anyway, shout out Bridget Mendler. Shout out to space.

Shout out to space and music. Cut the music. Okay. We're not doing another one of mine. This is like... It's it, hour. Does you throw ours out? Yeah.

I swear to God. Okay. The next one is good, not one of mine. Price is right in the room. Okay. This is mine. This is mine. That's so good.

It's a very simple game. I want us all to pick something and then we all have to guess how much that thing is worth. Okay. And then whoever, then we then we... have to have some sort of proof. And however, so it can be, but I was thinking it could be a camera. It could be something you're wearing. It could be the, I think I'll start. Great. I got this ice coffee today from a South Pasadena coffee shop. How much do you think it was? South Pasadena. Okay. So a little expensive. Maybe.

$8. Okay. I'm going to say $4.50. Okay. I'm going to go less than the, the Silver Lake standard, which is, I think, $8 now. I'm going to say sit wait the pre-tip or post-tip um pre-tip um pre-tip seven it was six dollars without going over four-fifty you won you had 450 no you had 450 you said eight dollars I said eight dollars you had four fifty you won yeah congratulations okay wow so that's the game okay okay okay okay okay I know one yeah okay that sign oh how much that was worth I bought it yeah years ago yeah I'm gonna say three hundred and fifty

I'm going to say $275. I remember it was expensive. Yes. I'm going to say, what did you say? $350. I'm going to say $500. It was like $318 or something. Oh.

So you were closest. But you... Price is right. Yeah. Good job. Good job. Wow. Okay.

One one. Yeah. Richie, would you be able to look up? this like haunted Tinky Winky The Furby thing Of course Yeah

Oh yeah Okay let's guess how much that was Haunted Is that custom? I think so It's some It's some It might be on Etsy

An Etsy thing I'm gonna say it would be like $50 I'm gonna say 60 No I'm gonna say $70 Yeah that's fair I'm gonna go $38 Oh interesting

And unfortunately I'm gonna do 40 So sorry Oh you I got boxed out. So sorry. You got boxed out. Wow, maybe it's completely handmade. Yeah, maybe it was never bought.

Maybe it's conditional. Maybe there's a comp we can go, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Curst Furby. Like, what's the ballpark for a curse for me? Oh my God, that spider one? Wait, is that for sale? Okay.

I really say that's a comp because it's taking a Furby head off and putting it on something else. Wait, can I get that in real life? Yeah, you can buy that. I want that. Yeah, it's for sale. I want that. So that one's $52. I said $50.

Great. Okay, you won. I'm going to be real, like only one left in eight views in the last 24 hours. I might have to get that right now. Everyone's looking at these. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Wow, that's awesome.

This is a good game. Okay. It's not bad, right? No, it's a good game. Yeah. What's one more? Mousy? How much was this dog?

Yeah. Not like, not like compounded with vet bills and yearly. No, when you got it. Like the adoption fee. The adoption fee of Mousy. Can you say where you adopted her? from? Toby's small dogs.

Okay, great. Okay, so not like a... Okay. Not like shelter, but not like bougie like breeder. Yeah. I'm going to say $200. I'm going to say... Oh, she's being so cute right now.

I'm going to say $350. I'm going to say $250. I can't remember. I think it was $250, but I could be wrong. 250 sounds right. Like it would be whatever amount covers like vaccinations and Spain and my... Yeah. She was all those things, right?

Yep. You want a puppy. I think my cat was like $150. So I feel like a dog is a little bit more. I feel like an average dog adoption fee is like between two and three. That's what it says between $200 and $600 per dog. Okay, I want to say she was $250. Okay.

Puppies may range from $250. Yeah. Yeah. And she was an easy puppy. Like there was nothing like she had no health issues or whatever. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Oh, kini. Wow. The best one of my dad. Yay. Okay. Yay. Kylie, you want to pick the next one? Sure.

I love this format. This is fun. This is fun. Just rolling through. Okay. Patrick reads, We'rewolf porn frowny face. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay.

Everyone. Shoot. I hate this happens. So, okay. So. Why did you do this to me? So I love mobile gaming right now because it is keeping me off social media. Yeah.

And boy. does that feel good. But the problem is, I have a new game that I quite like. It's called Solitaire Associations. And it's like the game Solitaire, which I quite like. But with Associations, I became grower there. The only problem with Solitaire Associations is that the only ads I get during this game are for werewolf porn.

And I started screenshoting and screen recording them at a certain point a couple months ago because I was like, well, this is crazy. And also, like, it makes you stay on the point. for like, and it's smut, right? It's not visual porn. Yeah, yeah. But, okay, I have, I have a- So it's like red.

It's, okay. And do you consent to this? I absolutely consent to this. I will say is like, I didn't consent to getting any of these ads, so I kind of feel like it's- You should push it on others. You know how like, like, cycle of abuse? Yeah, yeah.

You know, what's funny is I, I haven't like explicitly written erotic fiction or anything like that, But one time, me and my actually Kimia and Mary Anthony, some friends of ours and Haley, Kimma's wife. We also, we all came up with an erotic novel called A Fuck to Save the Country or something. And it was about like a secret agent, like a femme fatale assassin who was going to kill Trump by having sex with him. Oh, that's beautiful. And we were like one chapter of it. We were like, we're going to write this.

We never finished it. You should finish it. I think we should finish it. And you should like sell it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It feels timely. It feels it's really relevant. If not now, when? If not now, when? If not, no, one. All right.

Okay. So, there is sound. So you want me to go fast on this? It does move? It will move, but I tried to, we can pause it if you're. I'll try to pace it up. I'll do my radio speak. Okay.

All right, I'm ready. All right, here we go. When her mate publicly rejects her in front of their entire pack, but instead of killing herself, she's sent as a tribute to their most dangerous rival pack. And when the ruthless 6-7 alpha sees her tiny wolf form, he doesn't, kill her. He doesn't kill her for challenging him. Instead, he wraps her massive, he wraps his massive arms around her and growls mine. Okay. Okay. And then they make you click on this part. Okay. Fifty shades of gray can hold a candle of this book. Chapter one, she lies at her feet

and shivering. Small so spas escape her lips. I lift her up. She weighs nothing and press her into my body. So sorry. She went her to her. Pressing her small body tightly against me. God, we've mentioned her small body. Yeah. Hoping my body heat will warm her. I might. I mindlink the pack doctor. I'm sure he knows whoever is. The whole pack knows who she is. After her little stunt earlier, I realize now why her wolf decided to challenge me.

She craved death, but I won't let her give up. Mind link is taking me out of it. Yeah, mind link is crazy. It's called the edge of reason. So easily. Oh, so easily. So, oh, you need to sedate her wolf. She has no control.

I hesitate before adding her male resell. Her male has recently rejected her. Her wolf doesn't need death. She needs to be claimed slowly, completely, until there's no trace of the male who broke her. She needs an alpha, and I'm out for the challenge. Three days earlier! There's a buzz of excitement in the pack today.

Yeah, and then it's just kind of like it... Yeah, so I just thought you don't know for more than that. Thank you. Wow. And you haven't ever bought these? I've never bought them. Is it always werewolf? Or is it?

It is werewolf 96% of the time. And is it always that guy? walking toward the camera. No, but it is always that song. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, that was that segment.

That's a good segment. Let's do it. Good job. Good job. All right. Patrick, you want to grab one? I'll grab one. This is my segment.

It's called New Creatures. Ooh. All right. So one of my favorite things is like old kind of weird folklore that's like cautionary tales. Like La Yarona is an old story about a woman that's going to like kidnap you in your sleep if you, if you misbehave. You know,

the boogeyman was a way to keep people in line. Crampus is another one of them. You know, those types of stories that are trying to teach you a lesson. Don't go in the woods, Hansen Gretto.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. And so I wanted to see if we could come up with some creatures, some cautionary tale style monsters for some modern problems. Yeah.

And we can workshop them together. I have a handful here. I think I wrote like 15, but I'll pick like five right now that might work. So I wanted to see if we could come up with them. And we can, We can't use the same. We can't use like goblin more than once or witch more than once or something like that.

So, yeah, let's come up with the new modern creature for texting while driving. So, like, if you text while driving, this thing is going to come after you. Yes. Okay, okay. Okay, I feel like it's something with fingers. Right? Yeah. The creature has some sort of thing with its fingers.

Oh, yeah. Long fingers or sticky fingers or scary fingers that come up from things. And I think there's something maybe metallic about it, like, kind of to mimic, like, clackety-clack on a keyboard. Like technology is danger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He might be kind of boxy, like a robot. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, I think maybe living under a pothole so that-oh, that's great.

If it passes you and it, and it has like a sonic, crazy hearing it. And then it comes out and maybe it walks on its fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it walks on its fingers and it has big metallic fingers. Yeah. And it comes in through your car from a potter. hole and it like kills you. Yeah.

Yeah. It just like grabs you. Are we like, I think it like, oh it's like that. But before it kills you, it sends a bunch of really embarrassing. Yeah. Oh, that's good. To all of your loved ones. Oh, that's good.

It gets you. It cancels you. Okay, what's your call? What do we call it? Um, the cancel spider. The cancel spider. Don't text or the pencil spider. And of course the song goes, underneath the manhole cover.

Everybody knows the spider. Yeah. Cancel Spider. Get your phone. Oh, I like that. Okay, the cancel spider is fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about a modern creature to stop people from vaping?

I had a light pitch for this one already. The Long Witch. Ooh. The long witch. The long witch. The long witch. The long witch. Well, I'm looking for reroute.

Her big thing is every time she enters a room and she goes, so I'm the lung witch, at least one person goes, the long way? The long wish? You seem like 5-4 to me. Yeah, that's her quirk. She doesn't quit. She's a mumble core. She doesn't fully enunciate.

Who she can't, because her lungs are so hot. She's like a wheezing creature that you hear from outside. And if you start vaping, she's maybe drawn to the scent of the vape. Well, she has a house made of flavored vapes. And kids are drawn to the scent of the... Yes, yes. I think they're going to get a free vape from her like it's a... trick-or-treating kind of.

Exactly. Like it's a Hansel and like the witch of the grattle. But instead, the witch of the grattle. You know, the witch of the grattle is like that. There's a lesson. Of course.

Yeah, I really like that. And that lesson is irreversible lung. Yeah. Yes. She draws you in and she forces it. There's the lung witch. Wow.

She also feels the old. She's literally so hot. She's absolutely so hot. Oh, she's absolutely hot. No, I like, she's hot. She's so tempting. She's like a tempterous. She's crazy because usually

they say if you want your skin to look good, don't vape. But I did ask her where she goes to a med spa and she said, I don't. And I was like, you're fucking lying. She goes, I just use cold water. Yeah, you're fucking lying. And I just drink a lot of water and then cold water is splashing on my baby. And what if she lays eggs

inside your lungs too? I like that. That's good. That's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good threat. That's kind of scary. Long eggs. Long eggs. She lays long eggs inside of your lungs. And then while you're in her house, she does kind of like an every 15 minutes style performance about what could happen And you really don't want to sit through it.

She's a theater kid. She's a theater kid. She's that. She's great at being a witch. She didn't go to L.A. or New York, even though she probably could have because she's so gorgeous and has the talent. Absolutely. But she's going to do this. Even if she didn't have the talent, she could have totally just done.

Yeah, look at her. She's stunning. She could have done it. She could have done it. She could have done easily, but she's dedicated to laying eggs inside of people who made. She's like, I actually really need to lay my eggs. Yeah. I'm taking a break from Juilliard to lay my eggs.

To lay my long eggs inside people's at my lungs at my. Yeah. Okay, what about this one? How about what's a modern creature for warning against ghosting someone? Mm. Ooh. Like, I think it has to be something that follows you, right? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the idea of, like, a lingering. Yeah, is like the opposite of that would be like... The longer you wait to text somebody back, the closer and closer to this creature gets to you. Yeah. It gets to you. I love like a sloppy, swampy, splurgy, splier. sploshy footstep kind of creature. Because you're being messy by posting.

Messy, the messy monster, the messy freak. Like a clingy ghost, the cling. I guess the clinger. The clinger. Yeah. Something scary. It must be a ghost, correct? Yeah.

It has to be a ghost. Maybe it's sloppy and sticky. And it probably clings. So if it's a clinging ghost that's sloppy and sticky, maybe like it's mostly really annoying. Yeah. So it's like sleeping in your bed with you. You're like, I can call you an Uber.

And it's like, I know, I have to stay here. and I have to leave my slop on your bed. Yeah. And the bed is so sloppy. It's like the Shireme. Is that how you say it? Shireamee? Oh, the guy who's a Japanese folklore creature whose asshole is an eye.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's supposed to be annoying but not dangerous. I feel like that's the same sort of thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he kind of just said, whoa. I literally love him. That's fantastic. I'm literally obsessed.

He's incredible. Yeah, I love that. And then it's, he also has no social awareness. He's like, I ate all your soup in your fridge. He eats all your shit. I ate everything. He made everything. He said, he said.

It says things that just, like, make you feel, like, that make you cringe and you can't stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just thinking about you. Yeah. And stuff like that, where he can't stop. Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's like, I just read a poem for the first time. Oh, he's awful. Yeah.

Yeah. He's so obnoxious. Yeah. And he's like, but he like, he like, tries to do his best. Like, he's like, I ate your soup or whatever. And he's like, but I, like, replaced it with my slop. Yeah. Like, well, he's like, I can throw it up.

He's like, I can throw it up. Like, he's so, he's so blemick. He's an active treatment. that's just another part of his lore it's just like another part with the main thing of it it's just a fact of it's just kind of a staple it's just something

if he's there if he's there about the clinger he's in active if you're at a restaurant he goes to the bathroom for too long I'd send in someone after just make sure and that does become your responsibility

and it's your responsibility and you have to pay for the bills too 100% he's broke okay two more one is using chat GPT for everything If you use chat chibety too much, this happens. So I think this is like a Nunu from the Telitubi's sort of vacuum robot that like

affixes to your brain and slowly sleeps the juice out. I think like the sucker. Like a leech. Like a leech. Like a big nasty leech with a big mouth. And because chat chitpt takes up so much water. Maybe it's like sucking all the water out of your brain. Yes.

So humans are wet leech. Humans are what? 76% water. So it's like you have a good. So dehydration. You look like SpongeBob in that episode with, oh my God. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Approximately 60. And then you like get a migraine because you don't have enough water in your brain and that it could make you die. Oh my gosh. Imagine that.

I mean, I can imagine in one of those big books. There's like a shriveled up person with a giant leech on the head. Yeah. Death by lack of brain water? Really tough. Yeah. Really scary.

Really scary. That sounds so bad. Really tough. Okay. One more. I could go on and on for this, but we'll do one more. The last one, let's do joining an MLM. Ooh.

Getting into deep for an MLM. Okay, so the way to join an MLM is someone from your high school, which is out to you on Facebook Messenger. Yeah. Okay, let's call this creature the acquaintance. Yeah. The acquaintance. Oh, no.

The acquaintances. One of those things where it has one head and then a head on the back of its head. Yes. It's like a normal looking almost like a Stepford way. kind of looking at woman. Oh, and it keeps adding heads. Yeah, as they recruit people. Yeah.

The guitar, the last airbender that steals everyone's face. Oh, my God. So the idea is that if you join the scheme, you might lose your head for this. Oh, my love that. They might take your head. It's almost like it's a human body with a bunch of balloons on top.

Like, it's a bunch of heads all together that are spinning, right, I think that have two faces. Join us. Get away. Yeah. You're sucked in. Yeah.

Like, and they're either all nice. They're a school of fish. They're all nice. or they're all nasty. Yeah. And they turn. They're all nasty. And there's no gray area.

Yeah. Like Sour Patch Kids. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, my God. The weight tints. Maybe Slender Man vibes too. Where they're in a suit

because they're trying to sell you something. Yeah. So it's like they're in a suit. Yeah. Giant balloons of heads that are all nice or all nasty. And if anyone wants to draw any of these, I'll put them on my wall. Yeah.

To remind me self not to join an MLM. Exactly. That's kind of awesome. Yeah. I'll be sick. It takes your face. You need your face. You need it to talk usually.

Yeah, you need that. I mean, that was an awesome segment. That was so fun, guys. Thanks for indulging me. Oh, my God. What a fun segment. Music. Cut the music.

Let's do another one. Kylie, would you like to pick one? Okay. Let's go. We're due for a Kylie one. And try to get one of yours. I know that me picking it doesn't mean I'll get mine. But it's nice.

It's nice to feel. I have some control. Got it. Okay. Okay. Okay, wait. Okay. I want to get it.

I want to come by it honestly. Yeah. And I did not. This is a segment called Celeb CEO. No, throw it out. Fine, we're going to get to one of yours. Okay.

Okay. Blind ranking where will for. Nope. That was really good. Okay, but I want to do that. Okay. This is a game that I have never, I haven't thought all the way through,

so I don't know if it works. Okay. It's called ventriloquist. impressions. Yes. So what I'm thinking is we're all the puppets. Okay. Oh no, no, no. Okay. You are, we're all the ventriloquist. Okay. Because that means we can't really talk. Okay. So you have to do an impression that you think that we'll get like not somebody super obscure without moving your lips. Okay. And maybe if we need a hint, you can move your lips a little bit more. But I think it's in store like this. Right. Okay. So I'm going to do a very much.

trilloquist impression of okay okay I think I have it okay I think I have it okay that oh is that Stitch is that

is that Obama yeah wait how do you what she said my whole American oh that's really good

yeah that's kind of if Obama's mouth yeah kind of if Obama's mouth My mouth has been glute shut. My mouth has been glued shut.

That's fucking enough. Okay. Does anyone else have an impression that they think could be ventriloquisted? Yeah. Jennifer Gullochie. Yeah, you got it. Because that's what I was thinking, too, because I was like, well, she already holds her mouth, like, kind of like this. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. Yeah. Okay. This one's going to be easy. Oh, you're already starting. First off, I'm actually really good at talking to that. Oh, yeah.

I learned how I learned tree school, and there are just certain jails and certain continents you're with each other. Yeah, but you're going to close your mouth a little bit more. Oh, okay, fine. Yeah, yeah. We're going to go to the mountain. Can you say. Dora.

That's good. That's good. That's good. The cadence, too. Yeah, yeah. Cadence on the word mountain is like. Yeah. Mountain.

Matt's good. Wow, that's really good. Yeah, we know it. RFK. Gallum? Yeah. Yeah, that could really be either. Wow, that was really good.

You know, when RFK is like, ooh, my precious. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like, ooh, my precious. That's really good. That's really good. That's been true. That's a great.

It worked. It was great. Okay. A segment. Name his boat. Oh. Okay, could we maybe get help, because I didn't prep this. Could we get some stock images of like boomer men?

Yes. Yes. And then so we're just going to look at stock photos of old men. And we're going to try and name their boat. I love this. Oh, this is fantastic. This is name is boat music. Cut the music.

Okay. This guy. If you are not watching, this is a man with, what would you call this? an elderly mullet. Is this an elderly mullet? I think right away I could go party in the back. Yep. Yeah.

Party in the back. I was going to say, see will be loved. Oh, that's good. Yeah, because he's probably a big Maroon 5 fan. Yeah. It was probably hit him right when he was in college. Yep. And it was like everything for him.

Yeah. I like that. I could also see it just being like Renee. Oh, yeah. Question marks. Like it's not his wife. It's like a girl he dated in. college. I love that. Let's do another one. Uh-oh. Oh, that, that man of the orange shirt is good. Yeah,

that's good. Yeah, he's interesting to me. So this guy is, um, first of all, uh, has a tie-dye shirt on. Yeah. You know, that's kind of cool. Um, and he's, okay, I've got it. I think his boat is called the Grateful Bed and he lives on it. Oh, okay. Yes. Holy shit. And you know what's so funny. That's really good. That's incredible. I was also going to go with a Grateful Dead pun. Really? Fairy Garcia. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Because I think he definitely is doing some grateful that stuff.

Oh, look at him there. Oh, I love him. He's funny. He's hilarious. He's fun. Wow. Okay, let's see. Okay, I love it.

Oh, he's ridiculous. Look at this guy. There's so many sides to him. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's so on the money Grateful Deadboat. It's like not even funny. Okay. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Okay, this feels like the SS grab ass Like I don't think it's an eloquent pun Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, this guy is essentially just kind of like It does look like he's looking at a lady And being like a wuga Yeah

So probably not something super cool Or it's like yeah Like I'm trying to think of like a boating term for someone's ass Is there something tail? The booting tail Setting tail. Setting tail is good. Captain's booty.

Captain's booty. I was going to say like, motorboat. Yeah. I was going to say like port side. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Nice port. Yeah. Um, uh, uh, uh, I was going to say something with poop deck, but poop deck I guess is not really about a butt. Uh,

rock out with your doc out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Put his tongue away. Put his tongue away. Oh, what I mean with. With Book, look at Mammoth's a good one. See, that's a nice guy. That's one he got, he got this boat with his wife.

His boat is called Moby Dick or something. Yeah, it's called something really uncreative. It's a literary reference or it's just like, good times. Yeah. Call me late. Oh, I think it's like an out of office. Out of office. Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's don't call me. Do not disturb. Yeah. He just like his kids showed him the Do Not Disturb feature on his phone and he loved it so much. He was like, my boat.

Or simply island time. Yeah. It's just called island time. Yeah. Jesus Christ, you're right. That's really good. Sorry, this is something I have actually been trained in. Yeah, you know that.

I work for Radio Margarita Ville. This is something I'm very, very, very familiar. I knew you. Oh, what about him? Right away. Oh, I love him. Oh, he's fun. I would go on this guy's boat.

Yeah. He's like, I don't, I think this guy out of all the guys we've seen wouldn't try to hurt me on the boat. Sure. I think he might do also a kind of an out-of-date pun. So it's like Gilligan's Rescue. Here's what I was like. Like something like that.

Referencing a 70s show. This man has a boat where he does boat tours. Oh, yeah. And it's like an Airbnb specific like host where it's like he doesn't need to, but he likes to. He gets tours of people and he takes them around wherever the fuck his boat is and he gives them like a funny tour because he's like, I want to be a stand-up. Okay.

What about that? He does like the jungle crews. Yeah. Whale be back. Night. Whale be back. Yeah. I also kind of think he does ayahuasca tours.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Come on the boat, they have a little bit of ayahuasca. They do a little bit of like a tripping balls experience. Maybe it's called the tripping balls. Tripping boats. Tripping boats.

Tripping boats. Tripping boats. We could do tripping billys, which is obviously Dave Matthews band reference, which you would love. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Let's do one more.

Oh, look at that guy with the suspenders. I kind of love him. Oh, let's look at him. Oh, we do like that guy. Oh, that guy. Oh, okay, this is a crazy boat. Oh, I don't like this boat. This guy has tattoos and suspenders, and he's kind of an old guy, hipster.

Okay, this is really interesting. He has the arms of a young man and the face of an old man, and I really can't place him. You know what I would call this boat? Either or, A-O-A-R, either or, like the side of a ball. Either or. It's like funny, but also he's open and he's polyamorous, and he's also bi. Yeah. He's bi.

This man is bisexual. He has bisexual. Boat, boat ways. Go boat ways. Go's boat ways. Go's boat ways. Yes. That's good.

Go's boat ways. Wow. Now I like, oh, and this is him having AirPods. Okay. Yeah. So he's sort of a 2010's old man. He's like fighting people from field. That's really fun.

He has a phone in every one of these. Wow. He's kind of the phone old man. Yeah. You know that there's always one. There's always one. Wow. He's obsessed with his phone.

Okay, I literally love this man. I love all these guys and I love their boats. I love them romantically. Yeah. You know what? I was also saying he could do a fishing boat, call it worms and conditions. Yeah. Because he loves his phone.

He's obsessed with signing up for the terms and conditions. Kids are always on their phone. They love the terms and conditions. Yeah, they're obsessed with it. They're obsessed with it. Soffer. Okay, that was that second. Music.

Hi! The music. Great second. You guys, thank you so much for being here today. What an absolute joy. Thank you for having. Oh, my God. Do you guys want to tell the big bad cucks out there where to find you?

Yeah. You can check out our podcast, Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists. It's on YouTube. So just go look for it right now. And then I'm on Instagram at Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick. That's four. And you can find me on Instagram at Dead Eye Breakman, which is a name that I'm wondering if I should change to my real name soon. I will see.

I'm about to turn 30. And I think there's a world where I'm like, is it time? Is it time to first name last name? You have a very specific situation in life where people see you and go, you're dead eye breakman. I know. So that's why I'm like, is it bad for the brand? It's like changing your name when you're married. I do.

I love Dead Eye Breakman. I love that. Yeah. I don't think Dead Eye Breakman is giving like, oh, you can't have that at 30. Yeah. Like I think if it was like. Yeah, there's like, because my Twitter name long ago, used to be sexy pita bread.

And that was something that as soon as I got followers I had to get rid of right away. Right. I remember sexy pita bread. Well, we used to be barely legal comedy. Right. Which is, what we tell you? If you were sexy pita bread,

now you'd have to have become a meme account or something. Yeah. I'd have to be like a fuck Jerry or something. That's what I'd have to do. Yeah. But okay. All right. I'm keeping it.

I'm going to be a 70-year-old woman with an Instagram called Dead Eye Brigid. I hope to God we're not. on Instagram at 70. I hope to God we turn 70. Yeah. Fingers crossed.

You guys, they're also on Patreon. Yeah, they're genius. Go follow them around. And so are we, if we want to find more episodes

uncut, early, extended, uncensored, uncensored, Q&A's, movie nights, and Discord chats and more. Then get over there to the Patreon.

And we will see you next Tuesday. Bye.