Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - This Guy WANTS More HATERS?!

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

Comedian and host of Unlicensed Therapy, Ari Mannis is on the big bad podcast for you this week! Ari Mannis https://www.instagram.com/arimannis https://arimannis.com/ Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Chapters 00:17 | Intro 00:31 | Ari Mannis 01:57 | Late Risers & Meeting New People 03:53 | Just A Couple Of Jews 04:50 | Speed Bonding 06:03 | The Biggest Life Lesson 09:46 | Unlicensed Therapy 13:22 | Ari’s Fear Of Divorce 14:24 | Are We Dating the Same Guy Facebook Group 16:21 | Syd & Oliva Are Their Own Biggest Haters 18:44 | Some People On The Internet With Questions 22:03 | Hot Take : Men Can’t have Female Friends 29:33 | My Wife Ain’t Having Guy Friends 34:52 | Syds Awful College Roommate 36:36 | Blacking Out At The Hospital 39:43 | Best Friend’s Awful Birthday Gift 42:48 | Setting Up Couples (That Don’t Work Out) 45:27 | Where You Can Find Ari This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My wife ain't having guy friends. Wow. And your wife is who? Not exactly. Now you see why no one likes. That's why I get all the haters. Bad podcast for you. Welcome to the big bad podcast at you.

I'm the Sid one. I'm the Olivia one. And together we are Sid and Olivia. And together we talk shit. And this is the podcast, Sid and Olivia talk shit. Today we have another one. Oh my God. A special one.

From the podcast Unlicensed Therapy. This is Ari Manis. You guys said my name right. Oh, nice. How do people usually say it? They usually say it right, but you guys also said it right now. Can people like mess your name up at Starbucks ever? Airy. I'll get that. Okay, you'll get Ari.

They spell it A-I-R-Y? No, they spell it right, but they pronounce it airy. I know someone or I know of someone whose name is Ari who changed it to ARI because there was another ARI at the company he was working at. That's creative and submissive of him. It is submissive. It's the most creative, submissive thing you can do. Kind of a sign of maybe a weirdo. If you were to change your name pronunciation wise because there was another Cid and you were a sub, what would you pronounce it? Sud.

It was right. Sud. Yeah, you'd be said. Everyone already calls me said. That's really true. That's how you get mispronounced. Well, I think it, I don't know why it is, but like our friends call me said. I think how it started is we did a sketch a really long time ago that was making fun of AI art.

Oh. And yours was like hand drawn and really bad. And it said sud. Right. And I think we just decided that was a good thing to call you. Right. I am Sudd. I'm O'Liva on every single Starbucks drink.

That's crazy. They're like, fuck the second eye. And I'm like, it's just such a common name. Like, it is such a common name. Weird. Yep. Really straight. Olivia, Sud, and Erie.

An Airy. Airy. How are you? How's your day? How's your morning? Good. I'm going to be honest. I wake up late normally.

Me too. Even though it's 10.22 a.m. That's early for me. Oh, yeah. It's early morning. I have a late circadian. rhythm in my opinion. I naturally get the best ideas at like one in the morning. And I, if I have to wake up before, before 10, it's like, it is unnatural, but I will do it. You know what I

mean? Like, I'll do it, but it doesn't feel right. Yeah, we should have alcohol. We should start drinking right now. In the morning? Yep. Have you guys ever done that for a certain episodes? We did that last episode. Yeah. We had a shot of whiskey at 11 in the morning last time. What about the new drink that everyone's doing, a crate-um? Have you guys tried that? It's, they advertise on a lot of podcasts. Okay. And a lot of people are doing it.

It is an opioid and highly addictive. Sick. Oh, shit. Wait, can we fly it in? I've tried it and you feel great on it. And it's not illegal yet. It's not illegal yet. Not illegal yet.

You could do it and you just chill and you'll melt into these. Dude, I got to try that. The thing that I really love here is that we've never met you before. Oh, do you love that about us? Yeah, I love for all of us. We need new people. Yeah. Of course.

And I think it's like great that the first thing we know about you is that you know about the opioids. And that's like really perfect. Yeah. Thank you for introducing that to us right away. We've known each other for 15, 16 years. We went to high school and college together. So it's kind of this unfair thing. What high school?

What college? Agora High School, UCLA. Yeah. Those are good ones. Oh, those are some good ones. You're locals. Your local babes. I'm a complete local and she is a local that spent ages 4 to 14 in Vegas.

Which is pretty cool. Character building. Yeah. Good hiking? Hiking? Yeah, in Vegas, right? We never did that. They went to a casino a lot.

That's what you did? You went to the casino? Do your parents work there? My dad used to book magic shows for casinos. Yeah. All right. Her bat mitzvah was in a casino. Yeah.

And two truck was crashed in. A couple of Jews. It's just one. Oh, just one. You know, that felt threatening. Well, my name's Ari, so I'm allowed to say Jews with any connotation. I'm sorry, so I'm allowed to threaten you. Yeah, yeah, I've heard that.

Yeah, a couple of Jews, huh? And then doing this. Choose, my least favorite kind of people. Oh, well, if it isn't some couple of some Jews here. I can't do the bit with you guys. I can love with a bit. But I can't do it. You're not allowed to laugh either.

Stop. No, I, I, I, my, my, my grandfather doesn't. No, doesn't count. It can't, it's not big enough. It's not enough. That's a little. Because of, counts one fourth, but it, but that's not enough. Because, um, we've known each other so much longer than we've known you, we like to do something called speed bonding.

Oh, yeah. Would you like to be a part of that or do you not consent? Thanks for asking for that. I appreciate that. Consent is important to me. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I'm supposed to say that.

And I mean it. So we're going to do some speed bonding. Okay. So we're just going to like ask you some questions really quickly. You answer them. Should I answer them honestly? It doesn't matter? Yeah, answer as honest as you can, but it's going to be fast.

So whatever, whatever comes out is correct. Whatever comes out is right. Okay. And everything is right. And that's what friendship is. Okay. You want to take a little drink before? Yeah.

You ready? Yeah. Yeah. This is speed bonding. Play the music. Cut the music. Here we go. One, two, three.

What is your deepest, darkest fear? Oh my gosh. Divorce. Okay. Beautiful. Are you married? Nope. Okay. It's spectacular.

So you're not even at the first step. I'm too scared to get married because of the divorce. Got it. Beautiful. Do you ever think that you're in a simulation? No. Okay. This is real life.

We're real. Who do you think you were in a past life? An alligator. Right. What's the biggest lesson and the hardest lesson you've ever had to learn in your entire life? Whoa. The women are born without heart safe to steal the heart of a man to live. Fuck.

Favorite color. Green. What is your family member's proudest accomplishment? Which family members? Of yours. Any family member? Oh, mine. Yeah.

Oh, gosh. I'm a real disappointment. Okay. What's the thing? Going on this podcast. Okay. Who's your favorite family member? My grandmother that died when I was 12.

Okay, beautiful. What makes you the angriest you've ever been in your entire life? When people wrong me and steal from me. Oh, beautiful. Why did you file a restraining order against us in 2017? Because you wrong and stole from me. Are you sending us cryptic messages through songs on the radio? I, no.

Okay. Why did you hire our exes as lawyers, even though they're not lawyers legally? Because you wronged me and stole from me. And they had the most dirty deets on you, and I had to pay them a good top dollar for that. Fair. Okay. Favorite shape. Oval.

Favorite curse word. Oh, I can't say that. Say it. We'll leave it up. No, it's really racist. If you could share a meal with any four individuals living or dead, who would they be? Four, share a meal with four people living or dead. Keanu Reeves.

Oh, nice. And he's still alive, I think. You want him to be living in it? He's still living, I think. Okay. I'd take either way. Parentheses living. Optional dead.

Louis C.K. Anna Kornikova. Mm-hmm. Britney Spears, spice it up. Beautiful. It was talking points. What year of Britney Spears? Current.

Oh, that's everything. That's everything. Yeah. Yeah. I'd rescue her. That was speed bonding. I'd rescue her. Yeah.

I thought she was trapped by her dad or something. She was, but now she's out and still. Now she's trapped by her brain from her own. Now I'd rescue her, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Have you rescued a lot of people from themselves?

I'd like to think I have. I do. I get into that. I get attracted to like someone who is like, savable and but I also think I really emanate save me so I think it's like a two-way street you know so that's good that's I'm not saying this but they say women want a man a project right a man to save yeah I'm not saying that no no yeah you didn't say that no I think that I think that people in general if if you grew up in any type of a like people-pleasery way uh

I think regardless of like whatever, like you just, yeah, you're like, oh, I can. And it makes you feel special, right? You're like, oh, this person I can. But then it usually ends really badly. Maybe it's because they're more malleable. Men? Maliable. Maliable.

Maliable. Malleable. And if you save them, you could also sculpt them at the same time to be the man you want them to be. Which is not even good, you guys. That's very guys and dolls. That's very merry. the man today and change his ways tomorrow. One of my favorite parts of any musical ever is that it's a full musical.

And then at the very end, they're like, forget all that. Marry the man today. And then let's change him tomorrow. These guys are so ill. And it's like, and the girls are like, you know what? Let's just marry him and then change him. And it's like, that's not him then. Like, you want someone else then.

It's also just such lazy storytelling. It's like we did a full story. And then instead of being like someone grows or learns, instead let's just go like, actually it's all fine. It'll be fine. After the play, they'll figure it out. And after the show ends, I'm going to change it. Yeah.

It's like, what? Yeah. You have a podcast called Unlicensed Therapy. Did that come from wanting to know people's secrets or wanting to judge them? I think it came from, I just liked the name had a ring to it. Okay. And I just went off of it. Yeah.

Awesome. Yeah. Do you do anything else unlicensed? Everything I don't have any licenses. Yeah. You don't have a driver's license? Oh, I take you right. You called me.

We got to get rid of it. Oh, fuck. So here's a segment called Cutting Up R. A manis's driver's license. Play music. Cut music. I didn't bring it. You can't have it.

You drove here without it? Actually, oh, no, I have it. No, you can't have it. So then do you, on your podcast, you talk to people and you go like, tell me, like, how do you start your unlicensed therapy? Okay, this is how I started. Yeah. Thank you guys for coming on the show. If you haven't heard the show before, I have my friends come in, entertainers, comedians.

We talk about their problems. They're issues. And you may be asking yourself, are you a licensed therapist? No, I'm not. Beautiful. I wasn't even a psychology major in college, but I care. Oh. Now, and isn't that what it's about?

Isn't that what it's all about? And then do people get, like, super into their, like, trauma and shit on your podcast and you just go like, yeah? I've had both. Honestly, the therapy has just become a segment. Totally. It's just us goofing around doing nothing. Do you think you give really good advice?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I wow myself and I go, that's, I think a real therapist would have given you that advice. Wow. And then sometimes I'm like, check in with me in a few months. Let me know what happened. I don't think that was a good. So sometimes you're giving advice as almost like a social experiment. Like you're like, let's see what happens with that. Have I caused a divorce? Up for debate. Wait, really? Up for debate. Wait, that's great. Have I had people with relationship issues? And then I gave them advice and I took my advice and then it didn't work out. Yes, that has happened. Is it my fault? Maybe. Was your advice to break up? No, I've never done that. Okay. Because you've never told someone they should break up.

Not on air. I've had a couples therapist. There are couples therapists who go like, you guys should just fucking break up. Really? Yeah, that's happening. How many relationships have you gotten a couple's therapy with? One. Okay.

And that therapist was like, not at the same. Yeah. And it was like, and the therapist was like, guys, I don't think so. And we were both like. I was even allowed to do that? Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? I will say in this specific case, they wanted two truly opposite things. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, you want opposite things. And I was like, what were the two things you wanted?

I wanted a two person relationship. Oh, that's a big difference. They wanted, they wanted polyamory. Yes. Yeah, I'm not even a thousand if everyone was even sure what the other party wanted, including the other party. But I will say the therapist saying that. that if you're a therapist out there, if you're a couple's therapist, do not fucking be afraid to tell people that they can break up because some, that's sometimes better for everyone, you know, right to leave. Everyone can leave. Everyone can, you don't have to make someone's life bad just because you want to be with them. And you wanted to hoard this guy all to yourself. You didn't want to share them. I wanted to break up. But because he wanted to other people and you wouldn't allow that. No, you're greedy. It's, you could get into, yeah, that's me. No, it's like,

give an inch have a mile taken kind of a thing no that sounds very reasonable i think i would have at least thought that you guys should break up i don't know if i would have said out loud yeah it was uh had that thought do you think we should break up not from so far that's awesome i think you should stay together forever every five minutes what it would what do what do you're what does your fear of divorce come from uh lately this year three of my best friends one two and three yeah all go through divorces this year sucks have they Have you had divorce parties, though? No, we haven't had divorced parties, just divorces. And it just looks awful.

It's the most expensive breakup. That too. Yeah. That's why I fear it. So then is there a time in your life where you know, like you have like a year of your life where all your friends are getting married? And then reversely, there's also a year of your life where everyone's getting divorced. Is that a thing we have to look forward to? How old are you?

I'm 35. It's not a year, but there's phases for sure. We're in the phase right now where everyone we know is starting to get married. Yeah. And we're both like, what the fuck? We're kids and it's like, no, you're not. But we really, it's really weird. It's really trippy.

It started with me feeling behind and now I feel ahead. Yeah, right. So that's kind of cool. But no, it's awful. You're like, I'm so ahead because I'm never going to get a divorce if I don't get married. Or just I haven't had to go through that. Yeah, that's perfect. That's literally beautiful.

We saw some people on the internet. That sounds like, you never. That sounded like it came to me in like a premonition. We saw. We saw some people in a dream. There were people on the internet who need advice always. It's one of the primary uses of the internet. And do they go to BetterHelp?

No. No, they go to you guys. They go to Reddit. Oh, yeah, there's Facebook groups and Reddit groups about advice and relationships. And they're awesome. Are we dating the same guy Facebook group? I haven't seen that one. It's so spectacularly toxic.

Explain it. Oh, it's a Facebook group where it's a bunch of, I think women in L.A. who go like, hey, I'm dating this guy. I really like him. Is anyone else dating him? And then post a picture. Yeah, here it is. And then people will be like, yes.

Yes. I was going to say, wouldn't someone always say yes? Yeah, and that's the thing is that there. Isn't that your producer? Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. If we found you on this right now. But it's funny because it's like, it's like so, you never know who's being, who's, who's,

being genuine and being like, hey, look out for this. And he was just being like, I fucking hate this guy, so I'm going to go for it. I'm going to start shit. And that is what makes it talk. These are all pretty handsome. Wait, is that one posted by that guy? Is anyone dating me? Yeah, I thought that, did that guy just come on to this group and go like, hey, you guys seem to all be liking dating.

What about me? That's a good idea. That's creative. Infiltrating. Yeah. You look like someone's lesbian auntie. Oh, that's not nice. That's really.

Yeah. It's like. it's like when girls go on Reddit and do the rate me thing. That is a terrible idea. No, I wouldn't. It's just what a terrible self-abusive thing to do to yourself. And I feel like that's kind of in the same. No, that's a terrible idea.

People on the internet are so mean. Don't do that. Yeah, no, I don't want to talk to any of them except for the ones that are nice. Do you guys have any haters? Yeah, of course. Really? Yeah. I mean, I think everyone does once you're in front of people for long enough.

Does it get to you? Sometimes. I will say personally, I have never seen a hate comment that is meaner than the ones I imagine people making about me in my head. Like, I will create my own hate comments in my head and like read them like they're YouTube. Like I'll see them in my head. And when I'm really anxious, like, what would you say? I said that sounds unhealthy. Yeah. What? And nothing anyone's ever written has ever been even. half as mean as those. I've gotten some pretty bad ones. That's not an invitation. Got some pretty bad ones. Sometimes people see two girls and a lot of people I think were raised in this way of like,

there can only be one girl. And it's like, that's not true. There's actually so many. There's plenty. But yeah, I think it's the most like, I don't know, pathetic thing ever when people are trying to like pit us against each other. Yeah, yeah, you just know they're so unhappy. Yeah, well, it's just like, what do you think this is like?

Yeah, it's just dumb. Yeah, people be mean on there. They're like, do you have haters? Oh, every single day. What do they do? I think I have more haters than likers. Really? Yeah.

What are your haters hate about you? Everything. My looks, my name, my height, my voice, my things I say. Things I say is like, sure, that could at least elicit an opinion. But you know what's crazy? What? So it started where it would bother me. Like, it would ruin my day.

It would keep me in, I would be bedridden from a negative. comment. And then I became, okay, now I can, it only affects me for an hour. Right. And then it became, I don't care. Yeah. And now I like it. How sick is that? You tell me how to like it. How do you get to that point? Touch yourself while looking at it. I think because I realized they're so blame. Yeah. And sad that I'm like, cool. I'm glad I could make you feel something. It's sometimes it's the only chance people get at human interaction. And it's the only chance people have it being noticed. My rule for myself is I never reply because the only time it actually fucks me is when I go like, this is so stupid. I'm going to reply because it's a stupid

enough one. Once you get in the back and forth, it's like, why are we doing this? There are some people on the internet who have some questions and I have some cues. We have to A their cues. I think that you might. And is this some, are these questions you took off of a Reddit group? Is this off of your Reddit group? No, just off of, I just found them on Reddit while I was on a deep dark. Guys, they might not hear our advice to them. Oh, of course not. In fact, they'll never hear it. Yeah.

So you can say whenever. Or we could go on the Reddit and send it to them. Yeah. By the way, we responded to your question. So this person said, friend won't stop bringing up the fact I saw her naked. Okay. I'm a male that has a female best friend. Beautiful.

Over the 2023 holiday season, she tells me she's planning to go to her company's Christmas party and ask if I could pick her up later at the hotel where the party was being held at, since she was planning to drink. I don't really drink and had no plans, so I agreed and told her to call me when she was ready to be picked up. This part we don't need to know. Okay, around midnight,

I get a call from the hotel and they tell me she's very drunk and that I should come get her. I get her and she was absolutely wasted. I drive her home to which, to which she threw up twice in my car. No. Now, that's not.

That's not. I don't think that's a correct sentence. I drove her home to which she threw up in my car. Wow. I find her house keys and get her inside. She asks if I could get her some food and water. I know she's drunk, so I try to ignore her. Wait, no, you got to get her food and water, Mike.

But decide to get her the food and water. Wait, this is so weird. At least water. Yeah, you got to get her. She'll be a lot less drunk if you get her like a greasy thing and some water. I lay her down in her bed and head out. I don't like the sentence structure there. After coming back with some food and water, I see she's not in bed. Uh-oh.

I can hear the shower running in her bathroom. so assume she's taking a shower. But as I'm getting ready to leave, I can see that the lights are off. Fearing for her safety, I walk over and try knocking on the door, no answer. The lights and the shower are off? Because that is not safe. I knock again, no answer. All this while I can hear the water running.

I try to open the door and to my surprise, it's unlocked. I knock again as I open the door and call out to her letting her know I'm entering the bathroom. And if she was okay. Whoa. She doesn't answer. I then check behind the shower. curtain. She's laying in the bathtub passed out naked. Okay. Okay. So this seems like a reasonable reason to go into the shower. The next morning, she calls me and asks what happened. I tell her,

but she's embarrassed that I saw her naked. I told her it's okay and that I was as respectful as I could be, but I did what I did to make sure she was okay. She accepts this and says she got way too drunk. But ever since this instance, she won't stop using this event against me. Against you? If we have a slight disagreement, she won't stop saying how I saw her naked. Wait. For example, if I tell her that she's taking too long to get ready for hangout. For hangout.

She start saying how I'm wrong and a sick fuck or pervert. Wow. When that has nothing to do with the argument, it's getting old as I can't disagree with her on anything without her using that as an excuse to why I'm wrong. Oh, my God. What can I say or do? to make her see how this was an accident and her bringing this up constantly is upsetting me. Yeah.

Okay, well, before we jump in, what's your immediate take? I'm licensed therapist. You can't have female friends. Wow, that's the worst take I've ever heard. Male and female friends don't exist. Wait, that's the worst thing. Someone always wants the other person.

Wait, wait, wait. What the fact? What? Yeah. Wait. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

You have no female friends. Zero. No, I have girls that I'm friendly with. And no, I do, let me change this. I do have female friends, but they're not, we're not hanging out one on one. I'm never driving her to her hotel room. You didn't do theater as a kid. I'm not driving her as a kid. I'm not, I'm not carrying her into the hotel room and picking her up food and water. Damn.

My God. Well, we got to get you some friends. Like, I, I once thought so, so fucking high. Oh, my God. And called my friend Jeremy and was like, I need you to take care of me. And he drove 45 minutes to my parents' house where I was at the time. And then came and took care of me and held me over a toilet while I gagged and then put me to sleep on the bathroom floor. And he is just my friend.

Here's. Yeah, to you. No, no. He's been in a relationship for like six years that I set him up with. Then he cheated on you on her when he held your hair over the toilet. Here's what I will say. Here's what I will say. if we're going with the concept of like men and women can't be friends because men are always going to be attracted to their female friends or the opposite it could be the opposite i'm not saying in this scenario was i don't think women are ever attracted all my female all of my female friends are all my female friends on me that's that's fun but that's probably because that's exciting for you right no it's because that's the only women i'm capable of being friends with if i have a crush on them i can't be friends with them we we talked about this a little here's what i'll say wait wait wait yeah

Okay, so you saw when Harry met Sally and you were like, yeah, they can't be friends. And you're like, I've never had a female friend. That's such a sad life. I don't mean to say that in the bad way. Do you have sisters? I don't have sisters. Yeah, there it is. Okay, so here's what I'll say.

I think there's this argument that gets made that's like, well, if a guy and a girl are friends, he probably just wants to fuck you. And it's like, yeah, he probably wants to fuck everything that moves. Like, a lot of guys want to fuck everything that moves. 100%. I'm very picky. Okay, good. So then how can you not be friends with girls? If you're very picky, there are probably plenty of girls that I don't want to have sex with.

Yeah. There are. There are plenty of girls I don't have sex with. You just don't value them as people enough to hang out with them? No. No. If, so let's say I hang out with a girl. Yeah.

And I'm like, I'm not interested sexually or romantically with this woman at all. I could totally be friends with her. Guess what happens? She gets into you. She wants me. That's kind of fun. What if you're both in relationships? That changes things.

But then as soon as someone's single, boom, it's changed again. That's so funny. I do not experience that. But at the same time, it is valid that you do. I don't think it is, actually. I don't think it is bad. And when I say this, I'm speaking in general terms. So I think this is 99.9% of friendships.

Okay. Do I think there is a 0.1 of all friendships? Do I think there is a 1% chance, a tiny percent chance that you could have a guy and a girl just be friends? Yes, they exist. But way more rare than you think they do. we have half and half friends. Like we have like half guy friends, half girlfriends down the middle like and we have not to be weird.

Here's how to know if your guy friend wants to be with you. Close your eyes and imagine yourself being with them. If you like that idea or can stomach that idea, maybe they don't. But if you don't want them at all, they want you. I just don't think that's true. Maybe I'm a particular type of unattractive. The idea of like it only is like one or the other. Or it could be both, but if it was both, then you would have worked up by now.

In your argument, here's how I'm going to justify the fact. If you also people you're attracted to who you never date. Here's the way I'm going to justify the fact that I have a lot of male friendships. I must be particularly upsetting because I have a lot of male friends who every time I'm single, they're like, oh, Sid, come on. Let's all wing man for you. Yeah, me too. But I really have so many male friends who have never, ever, ever tried to cross that line. And I have never tried to cross the line with them either.

No, I... But just because they haven't tried to cross the line doesn't mean they're not thinking it. Which is fine, because then that doesn't really interrupt the friendship. Like, if I had a guy friend who was, who was into me and that never, we never crossed that line, he never admitted it. He just, like, I've been into people and just gotten over it, like, because I'm... Yeah, I think that happened. Like, I think sometimes you just go like, oh, yeah, sure, I have a crush on this person, but that's not, you know, it maybe wouldn't work in real life or like, I have people or I've had people in my life. I'm like, oh, I value the friendship so much that I'm.

like not even going to go there because I just don't want to lose them as a person. And and then and then there's also. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah. I agree that those exist. Yeah. But to me that still makes it so it's not a. It's not a friendship.

A full friend, a regular friendship because someone is down for the other person. Well, let me, let me bring up this. Have you never wanted to fucking hear your guy friends? Uh, have. This is your produce. Let me, let me bring up that I just out of curiosity. Yeah. Okay.

So I have had relations with men and women. So does that mean my female friendships are also not? I can't speak towards the bisexual lesbianism because I don't have that. So I'm not. I can speak towards heterosexual things because I'm an expert on that. Because I have had a lot of people tell me, well, you're just in love with Olivia. I have had that told to me a lot. And I'm like, well, no, Olivia is my friend.

I believe you. I've seen it on Reddit that the only thing people have been really mad at us for is queer baiting because we always joke about getting married. Have you guys ever drunkenly made out? No. We've only kissed an improv scene. Yeah, we've kissed an improv scene. I believe you guys. I think you're just friends.

Yeah, we are. We've been trying to push it past that, but it's not making. We're just friends. It's been long enough at this point. Yeah. But also, I think like we both grew up in theater and we both grew up of a lot of improv and we both grew up in a lot of communities where there were like a lot of guys and a lot of girls and a lot of, you know, every one of every orientation and it was just sort of like this big. And we have a, most of our friends are like people

from high school or college who we just have known for years doing like theater and stuff with and and or like, you know, improv or sketch. And I think that I don't know. I don't know. I mean, there's definitely people out there who like just don't want, don't want opposite sex friendships or like they just, it's just not their vibe. But. I don't know. For me, when I'm dating a guy, I dated a guy who had no female friends. And I found out, I found out that he does not see women as people. Oh, well, that's different. Women are like to date. Women are to date or to be your mom. Green flag. And then I, and then I'm, you know, dating, like, when dating a guy who does have a lot of female friends, it's like, oh, okay, you see women as people regardless. Like, you're going to go support your friend who's in a play.

and because you're just like, yay, my friend. And I'm like, that is actually I realized really important to me. But also I know there's a lot of women who are like, oh, if a guy has girlfriends, like, you know, but I also think it depends on the part of the country you're in. I think it depends on the job you have. Like, if you're like a finance. Work friends are different. Yeah.

I think work friends are pretty different. Do your parents have opposite sex friends? They do, but they're both friends with them, if that makes sense. Not my mom doesn't have any guy friends that my dad's not friends with. Got it. I will say I'd be inappropriate I will say

I think that would be inappropriate My wife ain't having guy friends Wow And your wife is who? Not exactly Now you see why no one likes That's why I get all the haters Yeah now you're getting it

Oh my gosh Unfortunately we're gonna have to call this episode Like the guy with the most haters No my favorite thing too is Because we were like looking you up And one of the videos that comes up When you search your name is in all caps the last openly sexist comedian in LA.

Oh my God. What gave you that title? I have a sexist joke. Can I hear it? I say, let me see if I remember it. I remember it. I think a lot of people say that women belong in the kitchen. Okay. They should be cooking dinner for us. I don't agree. I don't believe that. I think women are worse at everything. I don't want them to fuck dinner up to. Right. Yeah. Cotirical joke. Oh, very, yeah. Crazy sexist, right. Right. Right. And then so I follow that joke by saying I'm the last openly sexist can be in now. Right. All right. So cheer. Okay, great. What's the most sexist thing you've done this week? Nothing. I'm good. This week, I'm good. This week I'm good. Yeah. Your seven days chip. Wow. Okay, interesting. I love, I will say, I love sexist jokes. I love homophobic jokes. I love that kind of

humor. Do you like it the other way around too, though? Yeah. I can take it. I'll dish it and take it. Good, just as long as you can take it. And on everyone. So I'm equally bigoted to every sort of bigot thing I can be. Okay, interesting. Who were your comedy influences growing up? I'm just curious. Chris Rock, Daniel Tosh. Got it.

Nice. Louis C.K. Right. Right. Ellen. Ellen. You love Ellen. Gotta love Ellen.

Okay. Interesting. So then this, bringing it back to the guy who saw. You've never seen a female friend naked. And if you did, that would. ruin a friendship for you. No. No, if I didn't like what I saw, I go like, whatever. Well, that's thing. I can only, so I know this is hot take. I can only have female friends that I'm not attracted to. Therefore, I can see them naked because I'm not attracted to them? Right. But can you

find them? Can you be like, that's an attractive person? I'm just not interested. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because that's the thing too is that sometimes like, yeah, everyone's tastes is different. Yeah, we'll call someone like casting attractive where I'm like, if I were to cast in a sketch or in a show like a hot guy or a hot girl, I would cast this person, but I'm not personally attracted to them. I also think with women, it's a lot about vibe. Yeah. Like, it's like, I think women, I mean, this is a generalization once again, sex is on the podcast, but I think women are like drawn to the, like, an, an energy and a vibe and a personality

and a brain more so than looks. At least initially. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also there are women who are like, no, fuck that. I just want someone who's like totally traditionally hot and that's what I'm looking for. And also like, go get it. But I think anybody who wants that man or woman who is just like, I want a hot person.

It's shallow or bad. No, it's not shallow or bad. I think it's normal. But that's not enough. That may be enough initially. But if they're a nightmare human being, that's really hot after two dates, you're going to be like, well, I don't want to feel them again. You got to hang out with them because at a certain, if you're going to try to be with them for a while, the sex drive goes down eventually a little bit. You got shit to do.

And then you just want to, you want to have someone you like hanging out with. Yeah. The thing I've said is like, I've said this to friends who are, like, I, like, I, like, I, I, I had a friend who really wanted a girl with this color eyes and this color hair and this blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you're ordering a pizza. Like what you're doing right now is you're ordering a pizza. And I hear you. But the thing is that you're going to eat with the pizza far more than you're going to have sex with the pizza.

So like it needs to be a human being actually. Like if you're going to have like dinners and lunches and breakfasts with this person all the time. You're going to fuck this person once a week at some point. And that's okay. Once a week, not enough. when you're with somebody for a while with someone for like once a week is good once you've been together for a long time

I've never been with someone that long so what's the longest you've been with someone two years oh yeah there you right it's like you know like it's like when people get married and stuff I mean Cass sorry is this like so personal married he's been married less than a year though oh no mine but marriage you have moments where you're like yeah this is just not our sexy week

for sure yeah I think I think everything goes like this And it doesn't mean like once you are in a committed relationship, the sex is going to go down. But it probably will go down and up and down. Yeah, it's all waves. When my appendix burst, I couldn't have sex for two months because my appendix burst. That's obviously. That is one of those things. But then after that you have sex.

Great. Right. But yeah, you have to, you have to want to hang out with the person when their appendix bursts. Yeah. And then know that you'll have sex with them again. Totally. But if it's like, oh, we have to. Or there's like those videos of the guys like being like, oh, like she just had a baby.

how long until she can. And it's like, calm, your shit. Like, this is a human being. We're all human beings here. I haven't seen those videos. Yeah, it's like, it's like, I think, you know, you need, yeah. It's very, yeah, it's so silly. But have you ever seen a friend naked?

Yes. Like a friend that weren't supposed to see naked? Yes. Yeah. And it changed nothing at all. Yeah. Truly. Yeah.

I would say in this specific situation, like, I think it's crazy. to use someone like saving your ass against you like the idea that like okay if he walked in and she was showering and she was not passed out and she was like what the fuck are you doing I would have a different take on the story

but because she was passed out I think he knocked he said I'm going to save the person in the shower exact thing happened to me I literally in college my freshman year my roommate I was like who like we were just randomly assigned together I knew nothing about her

except that she watched dance moms a lot. Okay, I love it. And I was like in our room and I heard like a big thump in the bathroom and I was like, I want to open up the bathroom. And I opened up the bathroom and she was passed out naked. And I was like, oh, fuck. So I like woke her up and then I was like, hey, let's go to the hospital. Like I don't know what to do. I'm taking you to the hospital. Oh, wait. Didn't she? So I took her to the hospital. This was a night before midterms. Oh, my gosh. I took her to the hospital. I waited in the hospital. the whole night kept texting her like, hey, let me know what's going on. Let me know if you need

anything. 6 a.m. rolls around. And she finally texts back and goes, oh, I'm home. And I was like, oh, you left the hospital? She was like, yeah, I'm in the lobby. Wait, what? And she was like, yeah, they told me I could go. So I just like left. And I was like, you didn't tell me. So I didn't sleep at all before my midderm. You just hung out in the way. And then just hung out for fun. Have you ever been like super fucking drunk in a hospital? I have. I've been like fucked the fuck up in a hospital because we were shooting a sketch years ago and we all went out for drinks afterwards. And our friend Vince, who was a sweetie, who was my college roommate, we all went out to, what was the place we were banned from? North Hollywood. The federal. The federal. Wait, what's that story? Yeah, I'll get into that. But yeah, we went to the federal and I drank, so I had a bunch of drinks. And my friend, my friend.

Vince had a pesto thing and it had pine nuts in it and he had a completely horrible allergic reaction. We had to take him to the hospital. And I didn't drive, obviously, but I did arrive there. And I was like almost blackout in the hospital. And I kept like filming people and being like, I'm in the fucking hospital. And it's like, don't do that. Don't do that. What was the story that we were trying to?

She, her roommate, left the hospital drunk. And she was stuck there. Yeah. Yeah. She wasn't drunk. She just passed out. Oh, right. But, oh, but why do you guys get banned from the federal?

Oh, because I overshared about a bartender by accident. That worked there? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I, I overshared about a bartender's dating life because I thought that we were, we were talking about crazy shit and we were just talking about shit that was so much crazier than that.

And then I was like, oh, yeah, and you did this, that. And he was like, my boss is straight fucking here. And then he. asked us to leave and banned us. But he was saying really bad shit in front of his boss anyway. So I'm kind of like, set the tone. Set the tone you, I'm the customer. Set the tone of what work situation this is. I made out with him while he was on his shift. That was what it was. Yeah. She made out with him while he was on his shift. I was, it was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, we were so little. And I like walked up to a bartender and I was like,

do you want to make out with me? And he was like, me me outside. And he was like, me in the alley. And I was like, great. I needed to become a bartender. They went on a couple dates and I like kind of you know was with them and you know and and we were all just talking about stuff and he was saying we were saying we were making like really fucked up jokes and and and and then someone was just like oh yeah how did you guys meet and I was like oh yeah and then he like lost his shit in love I I get it from both sides you were having a friendly conversation you were sharing you're all having fun and he's like dude my boss can't know that I'm making out with his customers it was valid yeah also I will say after that we always

got shit for free there. So it was like, he was definitely like getting rid of the money from the federal. Like there was definitely like not a lot of money coming in through him in that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, hope that guy's well. Do you have another Reddit thing? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I don't think you can call someone a pervert when they saved you.

And I'm not going to say saved your life because she would have probably been fine, but she would have gotten sick. He was trying to be a good guy. Yeah, 100%. from his story, which I believe since he posted anonymous. Yeah, 100%. You've got to believe everything someone posts anonymously. Best friend gave me expired makeup as a birthday gift.

What do I do? I threw a milestone birthday party recently and my bestie gave me a makeup set from a nice brand. I thanked her and was happy with it. However, upon unboxing it later, I noticed something was off. I checked the batch code and realized it was over seven years old and expired. Truth be told, I'm pretty disappointed. She probably didn't know it was expired, but this also made me think it was a re-gift or something that she had lying around for a long time and that she just decided to give it to me. As my best friend, I'm a little disappointed that she didn't put more thought into the gift or even check if it was okay to use.

What do I do? Should I tell her it was expired? Should I just suck it up and not say anything and move on? Okay, do you have a take? I have a take. But what's your take? Suck it up, move on. If something like this happens again, though, cut them from your life. See, now that you could totally have female friends with that advice. That's great. Thank you. Yeah, except the next part of the advice was like, and then fuck each other.

Cut them out. No, the thing is that I think I think get over it. And then, yeah, and then if they do it again, go like, hey, did you notice that you give me a bunch of expired stuff? And then make, because maybe they're trying to kill you. That also, that also happened. Can you die from expired makeup? Well, you can die from things, right? I watch a lot of true crime.

You can die from things, right? I watch a lot of, like, true crime where people are, like, poisoning their spouses, like, in small doses to, like, make them docile so that they can, like, do a bunch of crazy shit because they're sociopaths. And I watch a lot of, like, I dated a sociopath kind of stuff. But, yeah, you never, you never can put it past someone to be, like, slowly giving you expired things or slowly poisoning you. But just to play devil's advocate, I've gotten things from the store. gotten home and realized I bought something. Oh, yeah. I'm sure.

It also could have been that she just went to T.J. Max. That's what I was actually going to say is like there are like a lot of like stores like that, like T.J. Max or home get goods or things where it's like it comes from another place where it's like, you don't know. Also, I do use expired makeup, I'm sure. Not like consciously, but I just don't go through makeup. Dude, everything on my face is expired. Yeah, my whole face is expired and my body is past expired.

Oh my God. I'm like past my 20s. I'm expired. I'm expired. And as for. friends, you guys look really beautiful, just as friends. Just as friends. You guys don't look expired at all. You don't look expired to either. You look beautiful as a friend. Appreciate that. Um, see, that wasn't that hard. That was beautiful. Yeah. See how fun that was. You guys are my first friends.

Yeah. Oh, yay. Yay. How fun. Because we're, uh, loud and hard, hard to find attractive because we're just like, damn. No, you're my first friends that I do find attractive, but I'll still just be friends. That's great. Yeah. See, we're, I think, like, I think that as friends, as friends, as your first female friendship, I'm trying to think of like, is there anything you've been missing out on from female friendships that you need? Yeah, probably like meeting your female friends.

Yes. That I won't keep in the friend zone. You know, I just set up a couple that got married this weekend. Whoa, that's cool. And I'm made of honor to them. That's amazing. Awesome.

Yeah, that must be so cool. It's basically together forever. Have I? Well, it feels so good sending someone up. It feels like you did such a good deed. It feels bad when you set people. up and then it goes badly. You feel partially responsible.

I've done that. I think we've all done that. Because you just, when you're you, you go like, yay, my friends. But then you don't, sometimes you don't clock. Like, what if something could go horribly wrong? Yeah, it do be happening. People, things be going horribly wrong. Sure.

Do you have you ever had a girls night? Yeah, that's what we were talking about. You're talking about how he doesn't even have girls nights. You've never had a girls night. I don't think so. Oh my God. I know. It makes me want to pull out a bottle of wine and like get to shit talking.

Is a girl's night just girls hanging out? Yeah, it's shooting the shit. It's drinking wine. It's talking about your feelings. It's talking about your feelings. It's talking about anything in the whole wide world. Is it possible I've had girls nights just with my guy friends? Yeah, if you guys were talking about deep stuff. Oh, yeah. I've had girls nights.

Yeah, great. You've been doing your nails. No, but I'm open to it. I would say a proper girls night is a mix of getting deep and having fun, self-care, like maybe doing a face mask or something, and drinking. And I think a lot of girls' nights also end in. somebody sending a text to the group being like, sorry if I was so weird. Sorry if I dominated the conversation. I really didn't mean to.

That's the new friend. That's like the newest person. Not even. It's the most anxious friend. Not even. It's just whoever is feeling it. Or like, sorry if I made it weird. So sorry if I talked about my dad too much.

Like it's a lot of that kind of thing. You know. Very thoughtful of them. Yeah. It's thoughtful. It's sweet. It's nice. Yeah.

Wow. Well, I think that people should put in an application to be your real life female friend. I think that like people should put in the comments if you're down to have a platonic friendship with this man. Yeah. Let's do a close up. Okay. So put a comment if you're down to have a platonic friendship with this man. And if you want to be a platonic female friend to him, because this is going to save the world, I think. I'm trying to think of like a good lesson that we learned. Yeah. Like a good ending. I'm going to be sending an apology text to the to the girls group. Yeah.

tonight. Sorry if I overshared about my dad. Yeah. That's beautiful. I'm going to get really drunk and pass out in the shower, and I'm going to text both of you guys. So let's see if we can maybe reenact that and, you know, see if we can do it better. Been there.

Yeah, absolutely. And I'm going to get banned from another bar. Yeah. You guys, thank you so much for watching today. We have a Patreon. You can see episodes early Uncut Extend, Extend. We do Q&As. We're going to do bad movie nights and all kinds of shit.

So check out our Patreon. Where can the people find you? What can the people look for? I'm everywhere. Search my name if you want to find me. Yeah, feel free to say negative things to me. I'm going to pitch. I'm going to pitch.

I'm going to pitch. Don't say negative things to anyone. Yeah. It all helps the algorithm. That is true. That is the actual hack is that hate comments boost you in the algorithm. And you know that a video is going viral when people who have nothing to do. with it start being like, what the actual fuck is this?

I hate this. And then you're like, okay, that's... Feed the AI overlords. Yeah. They'll take care of us. Yeah. So thank you for watching and we will see you next Tuesday. Bye.

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