Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - Vinny Thomas: Unlicensed Veterinarian!

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

This actual funniest person on the internet Vinny Thomas is on the big bad podcast for you! Go to https://HelloFresh.com/TALK10FM now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! To get 15% off your next gift, go to https://UNCOMMONGOODS.com/talk Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon & Fourthwall! https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia https://sydandolivia-shop.fourthwall.com/ Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Chapters 00:20 | Intro 00:49 | Welcome Vinny Thomas! 02:30 | Corn-ography 05:40 | The Pitt and Olivia’s Awake Surgery 08:13 | Jizzy Jewelry Lady 10:00 | A Pigeon During Pride 13:00 | Impression Roulette 30:53 | Animals 40:45 | Is It A Creature Of God? 59:39 | Check Out Vinny! This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And when you made love with Gritty, were they, what was that like? Wow. Who was like more dominant? Or was it completely down the middle? Yeah, I'd say Gritty is wildly versed. Yeah. Okay. And I'm putting that up all right.

He loves to spin. Oh, hi, guys, we did it. We cursed in the first 90 seconds. I'm still choking. Hi, everyone. Sit is choking. Welcome to the big bad podcast for you. Sit and Olivia Josh Finn.

Sponsored by I'm joking. Sponsored by. Cid choking on coffee, air, anything. I'm the Cid one. I'm the Olivia one. And today we're going to learn about why the corn comes out in your poop full. Yeah. We're really excited.

We have a corn expert today on the podcast. And also just like one of the funniest people that has ever existed. I actually legitimately, I was thinking about it. And I was like, I do think this is the funniest person on the internet. Oh, yeah. I think so. Dream guest on my podcast. That's crazy.

No, I really think it's true. Wow. No, we were, I mean, especially like yesterday, I was just going through all of your stuff because we were like, well, what fun segments can we do? And it was just the most delightful afternoon. No, I really thought about it. I was like, okay, let me like really think about this. Yeah. Wow.

Yes. And then I came into the conclusion that, yeah, yeah. Funniest person on the internet. Well, you heard it here first. Fonys person on the internet is Vinnie Thomas. Brum, brum, boom, boom, boom. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

It was upside down. Oh, wow. Sorry. It was upside down. First off, thank you so much for coming on. Funny. You guys for having me. We love you so much as a human being.

We think you're delightful and we think you're so funny. You guys. And you won the award for funniest person on the internet at the Gotham Awards this year. This morning. This morning. Oh, this very morning. Yes. The Gotham Awards.

This is absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won for weirdest villain. And I won for choking. Yes, it won for choking. And I was there as well. Well, watching, I was there winning most funniest person, but I couldn't accept. I sent someone to accept it, except in my place.

The Joker! I sent the Joker to accept the place. And he committed a disaster. Yeah, Penguin had a nip slip. Yeah. One of penguins' big, beautiful nipples fell out of his little suit. I love to talk about penguin's nipples, but I also love to talk about the corn and the poop. So before this...

Right before we started this episode. Yes. I was saying, corn comes out in your poop bowl. Kind of screaming at the top of her lungs. Right. And you know the reason why. Here's what I'm and I'm not an expert, you know, I'm not a cornographer at NASA. I will say off mic, you did say I'm an expert on this, but I'm a poor expert.

You're more of a coronographer than I think. I'm more of a pornographer. You're more of a pornographer. And I'm more of a pornographer. Isn't that crazy when you're on TikTok and people use corn in the place of porn? I think it's the most unsurious, stupid app in the world. I really do. It really is too much.

I opened this app and there was a filter and it was real life corn. It's like, don't say it was real life of porn. Yeah, don't say that. Like, no, it wasn't. It was porn. And then the reason people say they're like, oh, no, if I don't say corn and I say porn, the algorithm of throttle it or whatever, it's like, okay, let it. You sound ridiculous. Yeah.

But anyway, sometimes when you eat corn. Yeah, tell me. I think the exterior, the, like, waxy exterior, you can't always digest. Right. And so that just comes out. In fact, I think you can never digest it. Yeah. I think so.

But there is a process. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's had a name that you knew. Uh, nistomolization. Okay.

That's okay. It's like this process you can use to really unlock all the nutrients of corn. That you can do on purpose or that your body does naturally? You do it on purpose. Your body cannot do it. Mesoamericans came up with Nishtamalization as a process to like process corn so you can digest the entire. Do you know what the process is? You don't have to.

You've told us so much. Unfortunately, I don't know enough. But I know other things about corn. Tell me more things. More things about corn. We can't make this the corn pot. This isn't the 4-H. That's how I introduced it.

We can advertise it as the corn pot and then people think it's the porn pot. Oh, you guys are Googling it. Oh, yeah. And good thing that our producer, Casson, just Google image searched corn. You guys know about, that's good. Thank God. No. Thank God.

You guys know about that. The fungus that grows on it that you use to like, you can chop up and put it in a bunch of like tacos. You can chop up a fungus? It starts with an H. Guys, I'm learning so fucking much. Oh, I think I. Oh, hoit lacoche. Yeah.

Wait, oh my God. And then, and then Wikipedia has a thing that says corn smut. Corn smut is what it's called. Oh, that's different. Corn smut is bad for you, I think. Wait, corn smut. Corn smut is bad, yeah. But corn smut is a crazy term.

I'm not going to acknowledge that it's crazy. I'm going to keep it pushing. Sorry, I'm a pornographer. I'm going to pretend it's normal. So this is interesting. I don't want to offend the person who named corn smut is what I am. I know what I'm about to say, but corn smut is my band name. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's sick. And you guys are punk rock. Yeah, all my bands are punk rock or just screaming. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Well, thank you for this little lesson about corn. right at the time. You guys are welcome. People also ask, is corn fungus safe to eat? Depends on the fungus, doesn't it?

That's such a good thing. Who's the dumb ass who wrote that? Is, yeah, that's a really good question. Okay. How are you? Yeah, actually, how are you? How are you doing? I'm good. It's hot outside. I know. I'm here hot. It's stupid. And have you memorized the position of those buttons? You can just feel around. Some of them, yeah. Yeah. Because when it's upside down, like earlier, it throws me for a fucking loop. Absolutely.

That's because I can't see visuals in my mind. Oh, right. Right. We got to get you to the hospital. Yeah, probably. I can't picture things in my mind. You got to go to the pit. I got to go to the pit.

If you would go into the emergency room and you went, hi, I can't picture things in my mind. In my mind's eye, I cannot picture things. And they're like, oh, yeah, you're fine. The pit. Yeah, the pit is finish it. My favorite episode is when he catches the, wait, I can't spoil it. No, you can't. When he catches the guy with drugs.

And the guy is like, no, you don't understand. I just need a little bit. Yeah, yeah. He was like, I don't need it. I just need a little bit. That's what I always say about my drugs. Absolutely. And then he kicked him out.

He's like, I don't know, you don't understand. I just need a little bit. I also love the mom who's like, how dare you save my child's life? Yes. I like when he takes the antivax dad into the nursery with all the dead bodies in him. Yeah, and kisses him. And kisses him and goes, I'm a necrophiliac. That's my secret.

And then he cries. Yeah, yeah. That's so fun. You guys have to watch the pit. All of this happened. I fainted twice during the pit. No. Yeah.

Yeah. I have medical. Like, I'm, I'm a medical disaster and I faint during, I used to faint during blood tests all the time. Yeah. I faint a lot. Since I got an awake surgery, I don't faint really anymore. You got a what? An awake surgery.

When my appendix ruptured in 2022, I had to, they had to do a surgery on me while I was awake because I had to hold my breath in a cat scan. It was like. And you were just moving around like a puppet while they were in there? I was convulsing and they were yelling at me to stop. Oh my God. Well, I'd love to. But since then, I kind of wish I fainted during that, but I guess I had to be conscious

for it. But since then, I don't faint during blood tests anymore. But turns out when someone's foot comes off during the pit, I do, I do start to faint. And then I have to lay down and I get dizzy for about. Were you looking at them take your appendix and stuff out? Or you were like looking at the ceiling and... She's looking at Instagram. I was on Tinder. She's like shaking because she sees something she loves on Instagram. Yeah. Oh my God, I have to buy this. Yeah. No, I was just looking up. But they would be like, okay, now breathe in. And you'd have to breathe in. And you'd have to breathe in. I felt everything.

If you're going to get an awake surgery, do not smoke weed the night before. No way. Because it will affect your central nervous system in a way where the dilaudid will be less effective. I'm kind of like, how can you not feel that, right? Oh, it was pretty feelable. I'm like that as well. Yeah. It's there.

Yeah, I felt everything. Do they let you, can you keep the whatever they take out? It's yours. I think if I were to like ask for it, they'd probably tell me no. But I don't know because I didn't ask for it. Wait, that's actually a great business idea. But I did have screwed. putting them in resin or something.

Yeah, like somebody with your placenta. Like an Etsy person who takes the items that have been removed from your body, like a benign tumor. Yes. Something. It puts it on a charm bracelet. Well, you know about. It makes a little pendant.

Makes a little pendant. You know about the, makes a little brooch. Right. Well, there's a lady who does it with cum too. But she's kind of, and I don't want to shade her.

I don't want to like shade her business or her work. There's a lady online who makes cum jewelry. Like people send in their husband stuff. Can we look up cum jewelry lady? Wait, what are you talking? They freeze it? She, people send in like a sample. of their husbands come or whatever.

Right. And she takes it and dehydrates it into powder and then mixes it with white clay and then makes jewelry. But the thing is, you're mostly just seeing the white clay. You know what I mean? Wait a second. Is that it? This is probably her, yeah. I could literally make that.

There it goes. Incorporating sentimental materials. Yeah. So, okay, so this actually, I know this is going to sound really shameful and sexist. Oh, it's a butthole. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Jizz jewelry.

Gensie jewelry. Sperm necklace. $90. Male and female samples. So you can have, okay, so what I'm about to say is not sexist. Spill, Viva. If you can have female come. Yeah.

I like this more than the placenta art. Oh. Because placenta. I don't. You don't. No, because placenta art is reminiscent. The memory that you're holding onto is like my child was born. Right.

This is like, remember when you dumped in me? Yeah. That's, we don't need that. I guess for me, placenta is grosser in my head as just. just a thing than come because I'm like, ew, placenta. And cum is like normal. Yeah. But maybe that's eternal.

Well, you're only saying that because you're a cum dumpster. You're only saying that because you're always coming into yourself. And I'm a placenta dumpster. People are always dumping their placenta on me onto my lap in the subway. I always get stuck in these kind of situations. Vinnie, we made a fun game for you. Okay. Wait, already the game.

So the first time I ever. Someone listening to this podcast of having like. As a PTSD. No. Yeah. Yeah. No, this podcast is aimed

at making people liking us less. Yeah. Ooh. My favorite, my first memory of you is seeing your video a pigeon during pride.

Yeah. And that was such a good one. Can we pull that up just so that because this is a really. Yeah, we get that up. Can we get that up? Can we get that up, please? A pigeon during pride.

Let's get that up at one. Because it's really, and I think it's a, a good, if you've never seen the funniest person on the internet before, fuck you, first off. Oh, not aggressive. That's our cum dumpster girl. Here I am. I read this during the pandemic or like right on the cusp of it.

And sometimes I look at my hair and I'm like, wow. We all have that. I kind of just let it go in a direction that was insane. You just look young. Okay, so this is a pigeon of pride. Throw out some bread. Throw out some bread, bitch. Right?

I see you throwing that glitter. I see you throwing that glitter. Cut it out and throw some bread. I'm throwing that glitter and throw some bread out. A little bread. I know you f***es have some bread. It's so weird watching your own video. I know, I know.

I'm just sitting here being like. Yeah, for the whole thing too. Yeah, yeah. We do a thing on our Patreon. Go subscribe to the Patreon. Please, please. You can also get episodes early on Cut Extended. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You want to see my nipple? Go to the Patreon. Everyone on your Patreon is a baby. We do a thing on the Patreon where we re-watch old sketches and it is. That we made when you were like 1819. So tough. It's so hard.

I mean, it's funny because now we're so much older that it's like easy to be like, oh, this is kind of not us. I would be sweating. I would be racked with sweat. I would be throwing up. My eyes would be rolling up into the top of my head. And that's usually what people sign up for on our picture. That's what we do.

So if you want to see that, give to the Patreon. But what you do as a type of impression that I think is so wonderful and sexy. And it's usually an impression of something no one's ever seen before. And it's usually an impression that can kind of be categorized as like a blank. Blank in or at blank. Oh, okay. We broke this down equation-wise. You have a lot of like the mosquito that's about to bite your elbow or like a laboo-booboo in the stomach of a whale.

Like it's like, oh, I guess it is. Yeah. Yeah, it's like. We have to talk more often. I didn't. We were, we were, we were being like, stalkers. Stalkers and like comedy mathematicians. Yeah.

And we were like, okay, we're going to do a game of impression roulette. Yeah. Where you pick what the impression is of and where they are. And where it is. And the secret of the game is that anything you do as your impression is 100% correct. That's a beautiful secret. Yeah. Yeah.

So this is a game called Impression Roulette music. Cut the music. Okay, here we go. Would you like to do it first or do you want one of us to go first? You go first. Okay. Okay. So the first bowl.

Yeah. This is crazy. The sound that's happening right now. Yeah, I actually love ASMR. I need to get my nails back. I used to have like girl nails for a really long time in my life. You mainly euthanized them. I did.

The queen. aunt oh the queen aunt and the queen aunt and the queen aunt oh the queen aunt trying to take this friendship to another level okay oh fuck she's locked in oh shit that was scary hello my servant oh wow am i okay i'm gonna play along hello my servant i love when you carry all of my leaves on your back oh of course my queen anything for you My queen. I love when you massage my tiny little ant feet. Oh, if I must, my queen.

But I was thinking we could touch thoraxes? Oh, my queen, I don't know. I know we've just been kind of chatting like this power dynamic where I'm the queen and you're a servant. But what if we touch thoraxes? And then the HR aunt gets called. And do ants have a thorax? Yeah, and they have HR. Can we look at up?

Do ants have a thorax? They have an abdomen and thorax. They have an abdomen and the queen has like a modified abdomen that is huge. Touch my modified abdomen. Touch my modified abdomen. Have you guys heard the new Sabrina Carpenter song? Touch my modified abdomen. Yes.

Thorax head abdomen. Tears running down. Tears running down. Tears running down. Yeah. Okay. Gorgeous. Yeah, that was beautiful.

I do like the specificity of you being a leaf cutter ant. I think that was really beautiful. Yeah. Thank you. I've seen a bug's life. Oh, absolutely. Are you ready? Do it, do it, tear it out.

Okay, it's going to be... Wow, this just says, girl? Yeah. It says girl being hot? It says girl being hot. I guess I'll just sit here. It's a red lobster waiter. Wow.

Trying out a new vibe. Great, let's go. This is really good. This is really good. Trying out a new vibe. This is so fun. That is a new vibe. Welcome to Red Lobster.

I'm sorry? Hey. Welcome to Red Lobster. Who fucking cares. Yeah? My wife and I have just been We've been sitting here for We've been sitting here for some time

Right, yeah And Oh, do you fucking know what you want? Yeah, I would take like a salad Yeah, my wife would take a salad obviously Okay Great And I would take probably like a shrimp

Honey, can I have shrimp? Yeah, you can have shrimp Hearing a lot We're hearing a lot of It's a lot of What was that? Is that Oh, that's us.

We thought you were being a lobster, maybe. So gratuity is included, I'm assuming. Hey, is everything okay? You okay? I'm trying out being shy today. This is shy. Yeah, this was me being shy. Did this work?

What do you normally do? What do you think shy mean? You guys want, did this make you attracted to me? I mean, yeah. I mean, I'm sorry, baby. No, you're disgusting. You're a beast. You're a creature to me.

That's beautiful. That was beautiful, guys. Yeah, we did it. Okay, Vinny, are you ready? Yep. My quietest cousin. Yeah. Your quietest cousin.

Quoting Shrek. Okay. Get out of my swamp. Get out of my swamp. Marcus, did you want to say something? Oh, wait, guys, Marcus wanted to say something at Thanksgiving. What do you have for? Oh, no, no, Marcus, don't throw up.

No, Marcus, that's the stuffing. Stop. Get out of my swamp. Did you say get out of my swamp? Oh, he's been watching Shrek. Somebody once told me. And Fiona was so beautiful. Since he lost his job, he's been watching a lot of Shrek.

Oh, Marcus, please don't throw up again. I like that bolder. Oh. Yeah, no, it's good. It's good. We support it. So does anyone else want to say what they're thankful for? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thankful the divorce is over. Right. I'm thankful for when donkey and the dragon had sex on each other.

They did. Marcus, we do have kids here, so. It's just fuck me then, I guess. Oh, my God, Marcus. Fuck me then, I guess. Marcus. I'm going to run into the street. Okay, Marcus is always doing this Thanksgiving.

He's threatening to kill himself at Thanksgiving. Yeah, I guess I'll just take the turkey carver and I'll shove it into my chest. Oh, my God. Shub the turkey over in my chest. Oh, my gosh. Somebody wants to. No, oh my God, Marcus. I want that guy at Thanksgiving.

I do too. If you could be at my next Thanksgiving as that, that would be amazing. Yeah, I would love that. I would love that. That was gorgeous. Thank you guys. Gorgeous. The countdown is on. It's on. Holiday season is officially here, which means I'm counting down.

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Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only varies by plan. That's hellofresh.com slash talk 10 FM to get 10 free meals plus free breakfast for life. Okay, here we go. Yeah. These are dog bowls. Yeah. Why do we have dog bowls here?

Because they're bulls. Right, because there's another dog, a dog podcast. The dogs are the guests? Yep. Wow. And they're all adoptable. Oh. Wait, should we plug it?

What is it? The dogs were good again. Unfortunately, thought it would be the podcast, P-A-W-D-C-S-T. Oh, wow. Is that a thing? I don't know, probably. Houdcast. Should be.

The podcast. The CEO of 24-hour fitness. Like, you guys shaking the bulls. It matters. Like you're making for coins? Selling you, Crystal. Okay, so ever since Ozempic, no one's coming in. So 24-hour fitness, now 24-hour crystals.

Okay, 24-hour crystals. 24 crystals. It's 24-hour crystals and we've got so many crystals. So I'm on, yes, I'm on math. What? Sorry, you only have 24 crystals. You just got 24 crystals for all the 24 hours in the day. So got these out of my garage? Are they going to sell out pretty fast, or are you having trouble selling them?

Sorry, give me a second. Ah, no one's bought them. So, if you want to come to the back of the parking lot with me, got some more really cool stuff, I could give you some head. I could offer you anything you want. We just are not selling anything anymore, no passes anymore because of OZMPEC, so yes. Your father and I would like you to come home. Mommy. Your father and I would like for you to come home.

Mommy. We miss you, hon. Mommy. And what's happening to you, we find it's despicable. Mommy, I told you not to visit me in my parking garage. Nana is asking questions, honey. We want you to come home. We just want you to be safe.

How much are the crystals? Ha ha! Sorry! Give me one second. Mommy. Baby. Mommy. Brittany, come home.

Mommy, I told you I'm fine. Brittany, you're being a bitch in front of a stranger. Mommy. Brittany. Come home, Brittany. Mommy, I told you not to question me when I'm on my juice. Do you guys still do personal training or no? Why don't you do a lap around the parking garage?

Oh, okay. Great. Thank you. Here's $5. Goodbye. Okay, perfect, gorgeous and beautiful. Oh, that's amazing. Okay, okay.

Let's see what happened. And that's what will happen. That's what will happen. Ozempic keeps going where we're going. Doesn't get taken down. Okay. Oh, wow. Okay.

A goblin shark. Can we look up a goblin shark really fast? A goblin shark has a large kind of protrusion from its head. It sticks out its jaws. He knows a lot about everything. He knows a lot of them. The Latin name is clammy dosilakis angina. Wait, no, that's the frilled shark.

Wait, can I ask you. Why do you know so many things? I wanted to work with animals for almost my entire life until I made a radical pivot into doing that. So do you think that you do a lot of animal comedy because you're trying to like live out your animal fantasy? Well, I think it's just like you do what you know, right? And I know so much about these. You know, a lot of your, you did the gila lizard that gave you a Zemphic. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They derived OZempec from the venom of the Gila monster. These guys shoot their jaws so far out of their face when they eat. And there's probably a picture. I think that picture behind it. Wait, they shoot their jaw. Well, they don't shoot.

Their jaws kind of launch out of their mouth. Yeah. And then come back in. Yeah. And that organ is for, all sharks have the ability to sense electrical fields. So they use it to pick up on other fish. That's actually fascinating.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to. Do you want to. Do you want to. Do you want to. No, no. Okay.

You girls delighted. Okay. Okay. The goblin shark trying to relate to a kid. Right. That's perfect. Oh my God. You guys have like homework you do? You're not our real dad.

You guys sense electricity right now? Steve, we're not our father. You're not our father and you never will be. You guys want to see my jaw shootout? You stink. Let's talk about how you, the way you smile, Steve. Yeah, Steve. you really smell like a lot of like underwater disgusting.

You guys like, you guys like mauling a seal? I like Frozen. Steve, you smell like the benthic zone. We like frozen. We like having fun. Steve, can you tell a story about Anna Elsa? Yeah, once upon a time, I sensed so much electricity. My jaw shot out of my face.

Steve, stop. Steve. Okay, thought I could sneak one in there. Steve. Yeah, that was gorgeous. Yeah, it was perfect. It's also a really good frozen story. Yeah, it was a really good frozen

Really good Like that could be another Frozen Sequel Frozen Six How many Frosins are out? Do we know? Six Oh yeah, it's 15

Because the sixth one is the one With the shark Right Yeah Because I don't think I saw a second one I know there is one But I don't The second one was

I couldn't finish it Okay tough Yeah, all right I couldn't finish A disembodied face In a tiny box Oh my God Wait that's actually

So perfect Is it? It's just your podcast. A disembodied face in a tiny box. A disembodied face in a tiny box. Wow. Wait, that's such a doable impression.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's so easy to do that impression. It's very simple. It's so doable. Are you ready, Vinny? Yeah. Yeah.

This is a disembodied face in a little box. Do you think I'm skinny? Do you think I'm skinny now? I got rid of all of it. I'm skinny. You like me now? Dave. Do you think I'm skinny now, Dave?

Martha, I always thought you were, Beautiful. Mm, but now you think I'm hot. Beautiful is something you say when you see a vase that you like. It's not something you say when you want to fuck someone. Martha, you're my wife of 20 years. But you're not saying I'm your thin wife of 20 years. Well, now you're my wife's head in a box.

I weigh eight pounds. I'm fucking thin, Dave. Martha, you don't have a body. I couldn't fuck you if I tried. Oh, Dave. You're not being creative, Dave. I still got five holes left. Martha.

Wait, six. The neck one. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Why don't you touch me anymore? Martha, I'm told you. For the last time, I don't want to put my dick in your neck hole.

You don't touch me anymore, Dave. Martha, I can't. Your head is in that box. I went and got the skinny surgery for what? They said, we just want to take down a little. I said, take it all. take it all so my man wants to wants to go to town on me

Martha the box is plexiglass I can't even get in Oh watch this What are you drawing that with Oh my tongue Watch this Oh That's beautiful

Wow a heart No it's a cock and balls Oh a cock and balls Got it got it Wow Not very beautiful Not a very beautiful drawing But you're a beautiful

Thank you, Dave. Very sexy, very hot. Yeah, skinny. Skinny? Skinny. Yeah, very skinny, Dave. Okay. Hot.

Great, and that was awesome, you guys. That was couples therapy. Yeah, yeah, that was amazing, you guys, and you really hurt each other. You really hurt each other and hurt each other. You really hurt each other. And you love that. Oh, a really tall virgin. Oh, a really tall virgin.

A really tall virgin and who lied on their resume. Oh, a really tall virgin who lied on their resume. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I understand that you're looking for someone with kind of experience with spreadsheets. Yeah, yeah, just basic experience with Excel sheets, Google sheets, yeah, just super basic stuff. Absolutely. I love, I love that stuff. I love anything kind of to do with paper, anything to do with kind of making and creating. I also attended kind of a local academy. Which one?

The Academy for Children in School. The Academy for Children in School is proud graduate of the Academy of Children. I actually graduated Numa Cromdory. Actually graduated Numa Crom Dory for the Academy for Children at school. And did you study spreadsheets there? Did you do any spreadsheet? Yeah. What did you major in?

Yeah. Oh, actually, I majored. I majored in spreadsheets, actually. Oh, did you? Yeah, I majored in spreadsheets, actually. Yeah. spreadsheet research. I actually wrote a paper on it. Oh, wow. What was your thesis? My thesis is that spreadsheets are kind of the driving force behind the climate factor. Okay. And under special skills on

your resume, you say, has had sex? Why? Yeah, I guess I was curious about that. I was hoping it would come up naturally in the interview, but I guess it is a good point. Absolutely. And I'm just going to adjust. I think, I think sex is so, and it's one of those things that's, you know, when you do it, it just feels kind of like, it's like the grind of it. Sorry? The grind of it is so important and so applicable to kind of a workplace environment. When I'm getting my fuck in, when I'm getting my fuck in and my fuck on, I feel unstoppable.

I'm just in there kind of going in. And this is something you learned from the children's school? Well, yes, of course, we had kind of a sex education. like poor i i learned actually no i learned it on my own by getting out there and going to bars and going up to a lovely lady and saying madam what a beautiful purse well i think you're hired immediately thank you so much i quit i think i quit you quit you quit i think i'm going to quit yeah um that was gorgeous i love that a tall man just is always readjusting yeah that's mostly it let's do one more because it's just fun.

All right, great. Oh, a celebrity's micro pig. We're doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A celebrity's micro pig who's afraid of its food bowl. Oh, here, I'll put this food bowl here. Oh, that's perfect. Hey.

Have you lost your fucking mind? Oh. Oh. Are you crazy? Oh, uh, um, okay. Um, uh, I just feel like, like, are you sick? Oh. Are you mentally ill?

Um, should we call Katie Perry? because I don't know what. We've just been hired. We've just been hired to do this. Don't call Katie. She's busy. She's in a yurt sitting quietly. The instructions say put a can of puried pumpkin in a bowl and just put it near the pig and the pig should know what to do.

I don't want to look at her. I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to have a discussion with that thing. Oh, do you and Katie have beef? No, I think it's the bowl. Just the bowl. It's the bowl. It's the bowl.

that when she's in my space, she's taking up space and I'm trying to be on my own. Let me tell you something. Oh, okay. Let me tell you something. That dirty girl, I can't stand her.

Okay. I'm trying, I've got my own thing going on. I'm in the house. I'm running around. I'm hiding other things. I'm squealing when touched. Right. I don't want to touch this.

Can I tell you a secret? Yeah. Katie thinks I'm going to stay small, but I'm not. Right. I'm not going to stay small. No, you're going to get fucking huge. In a year, I'm going to be 300 pounds.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And I'm going to run through the walls like they're made of Looney Tunes paper. Okay. And she doesn't even get it. She's rolling around in space. Right.

She's a goofy, goofy woman. Have you guys ever met? I know you're her pet pig, but have you met her? No, house is too big. Yeah. Yeah. I've been in this room shitting wherever I want for right now. It's been two months.

Okay. Wow. Wow. Do you want tummy rub? She gives me nothing but pumpkin because it's all she eats. Oh, shit. She only eats pureed pumpkin. You want tummy?

Okay. Okay. What are your guys' thoughts on the geopolitical situation? That's perfect. Okay, we did it. Gorge, that was Impression Roulette music. Cut the music. Wow.

Sorry. That was a good one. No, it's okay. I'm sorry. You guys have created quite the little environment here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we have an environment. That's something you could say that this is.

Yeah, you can call it an environment for sure. What is your favorite animal if you're a big animal guy? Oh, I'm a huge animal guy. I think my favorite animal, oh, there's a bird called a cassowary that I really love. Oh, yeah, I love a cassowaries. Cassowaries are so big and pretty. Cassoiries are cool. Let me see this guy.

Yeah, tear it up. Casuaries are rat tight. They're fucking awesome. They've got such a good face. Whoa. That's such a good face. Oh, it's dinosaur-esque. It's dinosaur-esque.

I think they're so fun. I think their eyes are really pretty. Yeah. They're so beautiful. They could kill you so fast. They do. They have a long inner toe that they, and this is kind of a . . . . . . . . and they'll, like, they kick and they'll, like, that little toe will, like, scratch you up. And this guy is just behind a couple of beachgoers.

They're often on the beach, which is another thing that I love about them. Like that animal, which you would think surely does not leave the death of the jungle. No, no, no, no, should it. It's like it's God's darkest creation. It's like on PCA. Yeah, yeah. They love the beach and people are often just kind of on the beach with them. And I do think they get the rap like, oh, they can kill people.

Yeah. They don't really kill people that often. World's most dangerous birds were raised by people. 18,000 years ago. Oh, that's actually really fascinating. Yeah. And yeah, in this, maybe they were taught to love the beach. In this photo, we're looking at these people are just like reading newspapers on the beach and this absolute like creature.

Which, can we talk about how performative that is? Yeah, that is crazy. Just read newspapers on the beach. No, no. Grip. No one reads a newspaper on the beach. No one in the history of Maine has ever done that. In fact, you go to the beach to not read a newspaper.

Yeah. You're going there to forget about current events. You're going there to just remember the water. What I don't want to deal with while I'm listening to the ocean is like your extra, extra, extra read all about it bullshit. No, I don't want any newsies shit. I don't want a little boy in a news cap trying to sell me a little paper. Of course. And that's the only way you can get a newspaper at these days.

It is, yeah. Extra extra, extra, extra read all about it. Read all about it. You can you phone with a musk deer? Oh, big time. A musk deer is a kind of deer that has fangs. It's a fang-bearing deer. God, you really know it all.

My favorite deer, and you guys are going to gag over this. Girls love the deer. I'm about to mention deer. It's called a poodoo, and it's the tiniest deer in the world, and the babies are obscene. They're like this big. You see this? Girls gagged over this deer. Oh, that gags.

Oh, that is the gagged. That is the gagged. That is the deer. That is the big. Pudu is like the size of a guinea pig. Now why is that not a Pixar movie? Where's the Pixar movie? They're off their rocker lately.

All of Pixar movies are like about shapes and feelings and colors lately. Yeah, why not a Pudu deer? No more animals for Pixar? Yeah, no more animals for Pixar. All the movies are like soul and emotions and elements. I think we need to go back to animal career. Yeah. For an animated movie.

We had rat. Chef, let's go Poodoo Banker. Oh, wow. Poodoo Banker. Poodoo Buccu Ginochologist. Poodoo Ginochologist. Yeah. Wow.

Islittle? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I would let that poodoo look at my pussy. They're so cute. Oh my God. Look at that poodoo. So good. That's a nice poodoo deer. Oh, how many other deer?

There's so many deer. Can you imagine? I want to see a weird deer. If a nurse was like, this is your guy in a college. And it was that. And he's wearing a little coat. Yeah. And he's like, are you kidding me?

This is a deer that looks off, but I can't put my finger on why. It's called Pear David's deer, P-E-R-E. It really is reminiscent. of the word Pete Davidson. There's something about it that's just off. There's something about their face that does not settle right with me. Yeah, they've got a specifically long face. They've got a really long, really long, really, like, little face.

Yeah, long face. And the antlers do look branchy. Yeah, branchy. They look like, they don't look like they're there for, like, a purpose as much as they're there for, like, decor. Yeah. But they're endangered, so be nice. But be nice. So we got to be nice to them.

Yeah, you got to be nice. What about a sun bear? What's the sun bears? Sun bears are fucking weird. I've never even seen these animals. They stand up like people. You guys have seen animals that I've never even dreamt up. Look at that shit.

This guy has a horseshoe on its neck. Yeah, he stands up. And he's got this big, they've got these bands of flesh leading from their chin to their shoulders that I think are ridiculous. It makes it look like they're, they've swollen lymph nodes or something. Wait, that guy's face is literally my face. This like, that's like so me. I'm so sorry. Yeah. That's how I see myself.

I'm so sorry, that's how you see yourself. Yeah, it does have beautiful hands. You guys know something crazy is like sometimes bear hands, like the bones, will be found in the forest and people will call the police because their bones and their hands are so similar to ours that people think they're human hands. Yeah, even if they're like mummified or whatever, people are like, there's a human hand in the woods. I love a mummified human hand in the woods. That is so fascinating. Have you guys ever seen a dog? No. Let's look a dog.

You want to see a crazy? Wait, let's think of a craziest. Okay. It's the craziest dog. What's the craziest dog? Why mariner's look pretty crazy. Is that the, what's the dog that, when I used to walk dogs, I had this one client who was a dog named Margarita. And she was like a very, like, she had a shark head.

Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. What's the shark? Terrier. No, but she was a poodle. Poodle shark head. She had a weird poodle shark head. Oh, because they cut it like, yeah. No, like, she like looked like a hammerhead.

Look a poodle shark dog. Look up poodle shark dog. A sideways hammerhead poodle and her name was Margarita. That's it right there. It's, no. There you go. That's gotta be. No.

Have you seen the guy that- Casse him, stop. You see the guy that, he like gives haircuts to dogs and he dyes them fun colors? Oh, that's sick as hell. It's the coolest thing in the world. And I wonder if they like that. I wonder if they see themselves on they're talking about. You know what I mean though.

I know exactly what dog you're talking about. It's the dog that's no, don't look up Star Wars dog. Leave it look up Star Wars dog. It's like it's shaped like a Star Wars robot. It has a poodle. It's got like, it's like a long thin weird poodle. I'm completely checked the fuck out. Okay you guys, if you know what I'm talking about, can you tell me?

Long, thin, long poodle is crazy. Long, little, our producer just Google searched long thin, long poodle. The Beddington Terrier. Wait. Bedlington tear. Look that up. Because I knew an Irish water.

Sorry, I'm being intense. Can you please look at it? Well, I understand why you're being intense. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. That's exactly what you're talking. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, my God. That's the standard for the haircut. It's like that. Now, I used to walk a dog like that named Margarita. Yes. And she should name a dog like, you think?

I don't think she should be a great. Her Christian name was not Margarita. I think that dog's name should be like Gunther or scoop or something. Her Christian name was something like a normal dog name, but her owner only referred to her as margarita, and therefore I only referred her as margarita. She's named Margarita because she loves Margaritas. I give margarities every night. I got this puppy when I was on a margarita. I got the puppy when I was on a Margarita.

I was rolling on marks when I got this dog. Do you think this is a creature of God? Okay, that's a great, what do you call that? What do you call that? A great segue. Guys, I think I'm. really real life losing it. Yeah. I already have lost it. Okay. So I'm comfortable. Great segue. We have a segment. Now remember when I did the segment, Girl Boss, Girl Floss? Yeah. This is kind of like that and then it's a stretch. It's awesome. This is a segment called Is it a creature of God? Music.

Cut the music. We're going to show you some things and you're going to tell us if it's a creature of God and we'll talk about why yes or no. Okay, perfect. And it's just pictures? Yeah. Great. And like mentions of things that you never. Okay, the first one is the Cinnamon Toast Crunch mascot. Yeah. And keep in mind.

It's not a creature of God. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. The actual crackers or the guy. Well, the little... Wait, there's a guy. There used to be a white man. Oh my God.

There was a white man. That white man. It used to be that white man. Chef Wendell. They knocked him off. They killed Wendell and they replaced him with the demons. Yeah, the demon. Okay, I only know about the demons who eat each other.

Look at how thick Wendell's fucking glasses are. Dude. can't see shit. That's why he got fired. Bitch, Wendell could see through walls with those stupid ass glasses. Wendell's glasses are ice cubes.

That's crazy. My gosh. They don't have to be. Let me tell you something. Wendell is not a well man. I'll say that. Wendell is sick. They don't call him Weldell.

No, they don't. Is that something? Is that something? They don't call him. Little shark hammer head dog. Sideways head, sideways head. Okay, but the little crunch, the little these guys.

Okay. So these guys, These guys are, yes, these guys are cannibals. Yeah. They are pieces of cereal that eat each other. This guy is stalking this other guy. Yeah. With a creepy grin on his face.

Literally intending to eat him. Oh, look at his little mouth. Oh, God. There is kind of a weird... Sexiness. Very like, I'm going to lick your butt. Yeah. Yeah.

There is like a weird trend with animal mascots who are being like, no, no, not animal mascots, but like, cereal mascots who are panicking? Cereal manis. Whoa. cereal mascots and like food mascots who are like I want to be eaten so bad. Right. Either I want to be eaten so bad or I will literally end my life if I can't eat this specific thing. It's like a cornflake wearing a negligee and just like dropping it off the shoulder.

Yes. And being like God, if only to be touched again. Yeah, I've only to be touched again. I do like that Cinnamon Toast Crunch has both. They have that, you know, the kind of like eat me vibe and they have the like I'm going to eat myself. Yes. Or I'll die. Yeah.

Yes. But yeah, they are fully cannibal by nature. their species is cannibal. And do we think that a cannibal is not a creature of God inherently? I think it's not personally. And I don't, and I'm not religious at all. So that really carries weight. Sure.

I'm trying to figure out where I would put these guys taxonomically. And I think probably in the Echinoderm family along with starfish and sea urchins. Yeah. And they, because they just have the one hole or like, um, uh, C cucumbers, right? They have like a mouth anus. Is that a cloaca? No, not a cloaca. You guys are blowing my mind today.

I was wrong. What is the one hole called? The one hole I have no idea. It might be the corona of it might be called the cloaca, but it's not the same as like a bird's cloaca. Right. Okay. So it's like. Starfish mouth pussy.

You did not. Starfish pussy porn videos is what just happened. And porn hub immediately came up because these people have safe search off. One of them was just called. Google searching starfish. Oh, it's just anus. It's just a penis. Oh, it's just called the anus.

Okay. See, that's a term I know. Yeah. And I want everyone to know I was drooling as I said that. I don't know why. I know why. I don't know why, man. You're thinking about these stuff, for Shane. Yeah, I would say they are not a creature of God.

There's something much darker. Okay, beautiful. Like, I could see them in hell. Yeah, absolutely. They lie in hell. And not only could you see them in hell? You will see them in hell. The forward-facing eyes, along with the stripes,

makes them ambush predators. Yeah, they're like, clearly they're meant to hide in the tall. grass. Oh my God, you're literally blowing my mind today. Oh, that's so true. Kay is the creature of God, the boobas. Oh, we love the boobas. You know the boobos. Don't do this to me. B. O, oh, you're an animal expert. Of course you know the boobos. You know the boobas. Like, what are you stupid? You know the boobas? You know the boobas? Open a book. Wait, open a book. You know the boobas? You mean like Kiki and buba? That thing where they were like named this shape. No, no, but that's actually, I love that. That's funny. It was, what was, it was like

Kiki and. Buba. Was it Kiki and Buba? Do you remember Kiki and Buba? And they're like, which one of these shapes is Kiki and which is Buba? And everyone was like, oh, yeah, that's Kiki. And the sharp one is Kiki and the soft one is Bupa. Yeah, of course, 100%.

So these are the Bubas. And just so you know one thing about them is they have four skin bodies. They have four skin bodies. They live in a golf ball and they sleep in big soup spoons. And also what animal family would they be in? They fly around by farting. What animal family are they in? They look like larva.

The way the head is peeking up from the neck is very like kind of Goliath beetle grub. So I would say that they're the larval form of something much bigger and much scarier. Right. I didn't know what these were. I've never seen them before. You know what I think they are? What? If you zoom in on sperm, this is what they are.

What? I think if you zoom. Could you imagine if I went to go get my sperm check to see if I had to. And like they see this and they're like, you're never going to have a child. You're impotent. This is not good. We need to like take you in and do tests on you because what is this? If you put.

It looked back at us. Your sperm under a microscope. Yeah. It's these guys. If I put my sperm under a microscope, it is these guys. I've tried. Yeah. You need to get you to a priest.

Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe you know what they might be is there were ancient turtles that before shells happened, their shells were kind of flesy and they could still go in and out of them. So maybe they were kind of like an old archaic turtle You're maybe the smartest person I've ever met Don't do this to me I think so

And I'm actually gonna double down on it I think you're the smartest person I've ever met I don't understand how you guys are pulling this shit out of your asses But there are soft shell turtles too that like kind of have a soft show This is so crazy I'm learning so much That's a rain frog That's a rain frog What the fuck is that?

You're inspiring me to get back into my special interest of my childhood You have to. You guys are inspiring me to literally be smart. Well, no, but you're smart about it. It's just not where you're putting your energy. This is a big soft shell turtle. And you see how the shell is kind of internal. And can you eat it like a soft shell crab?

Yeah. If I had a nickel for every time. I used to have a big book of every chicken breed. Oh, yeah. Was it Stories Guide to Chicken? Stories Illustrated Guide to Chicken? I have multiple big books of every single chicken breed. And I feel like all the knowledge is still back somewhere.

I actually saw the book that you have at a gift shop recently. And I was like, oh my God, that's Olivia's chicken book. That's so good. People love chickens, too. They're fun, dude. I had five. Grilled, fried. They were.

Did you have one that was bigger and meaner than rest and you gave it a fun name? We had sweet pee who we thought was a hen. You had Zooknob. Well, yeah, Zunab was my actor chicken. We would put Zunab in. Zunab was super calm, giant coach in, super, super chill. Silver Laced Giant Cochin. We would put Bilder Bear outfits on her.

She's speaking. And, yeah, yeah. If we'd put Bilderbear outfits on her, she'd be totally fine. We'd like have a scene where like all she needs to do is sit there and then she would do like she would just sit there or if she needed to like step forward. She just would. We wouldn't have to ask her. It was really weird. They all knew their name.

Raised by Diane Franklin. My favorite thing about backyard chicken owners is that there's usually one chicken who is bigger and meaner than the rest and they give a name to it. Snuggles was the bigger meaner one. We had big mama, but a lot of people call it like, you know, saucy or sassy and she's just she hits the other one. We had a rooster. They eat each other. They do eat each other. They are cannibal like.

So they're not creatures. They're not supposed to let them break their eggs in front up because if an egg cracks in front of a chicken and it tastes the egg, it'll go egg mad and it'll start breaking its own eggs and eat them. Yeah, my chickens are so. Chikins are fucking curts. Absolutely. Chickens have no idea that their eggs are delicious. No, and also they like don't give an actual fuck once they, once a chicken has a taste for blood, it's like crazy. Wait.

What if a mother? Yeah. They do. Human mother. Oh, what? Tasted its baby. And we realized it was all just so good. Babies are delicious.

But I guess the thing for me is like not out of love but due to learn behavior. Yeah. How do chickens eat their own eggs out of love? Wait, did Google just say chickens eat their eggs out of love? No, chickens may eat their own eggs, not out of love. But due to learn behavior when they accidentally break an egg. Yeah. What are you talking about?

Out of love. Yeah, what the fuck? No, but chickens like, you know, the phrase hen packed is like. I don't know that phrase. God, I'm, you guys, I have so much. blind spots. No, it's beautiful. No, I'm learning. No, you've never missed anything in your life. I'm learning that I don't know anything at all. Yeah. It's like kind of this like they're like kind of beat up on and but hen pecked comes from when when there's not enough space or resources

and all of the hens will turn on a weaker hen. Yeah. And just be like, I'm going to fuck you up. And that's why some chickens have like very few feathers is they're getting like bullied essentially. Wow. Yeah. It's the pecking order, if you will. Pecking order. Oh my God. See that phrase I know. Yeah. There it is. Lock in. Okay, okay. What's the next? The boobas are not a creature of God. I'm just going to say it.

No, no, no, no. In fact, they're what you see when you zoom in on sperm. Yeah. Okay, let's go. I have to stop saying that. Zoom in. Let's actually go with the face bank. Now, Olivia and I've been talking about this guy recently.

This is my new celebrity crush. This is this guy. We just want to show you this mostly just so you know it exists. Okay. Yeah. So FaceBank, the thing about FaceBank, it is a creature of God. It's like kind of a mixed race couple camping. Yeah.

The ad, yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, no, no, no, no, I don't want to see that. Off of a face bank. Okay. What is that? Okay, so it's a bank. Stop.

It's a bank that has a face. I think they're going to cut its face off. Yeah. This is how a face bank looks when you cut its face off. Can we see what a face bank looks like when it eats your money? So it eats your coins. This is a child of God. You put the coins in and it, it choose them.

And it's not good. Yeah, it's really good. It's whole face moves in a way that's, Also, the great thing about this is it doesn't usually swallow the coins in one go. Yeah, usually it kind of spits them out or chews on the floor. It has kind of a hard time and it gags a little bit. Yeah. Like, it doesn't like it.

You go to a 7-Eleven and to pay for something, you bring one of these out and you like literally carve its face off. And you like slowly put it out. You're trying to get one donut. Yeah. And they're like, oh, absolutely. Let me just cut the face off of this little being. Yeah, I am sliding into face face. It screams.

Yeah. as we speak. It's, yeah. Does it make noise? No. It makes, it makes a mechanical noise. Oh, is I got it. Okay, we've got kind of a liver spotted hand, putting a nickel into this.

See how it like doesn't do a good job? Yeah, it doesn't really eat it. It kind of like hates the taste of it. I want a face it back here. And see, then you have to help it kind of and you have to like push the coin in a little bit. It's so good. I don't think it's a creature of hell, but I do think it's an angel that God cursed. Yeah, it's like a fallen angel.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Too greedy. Right? The sin of greed. Oh, wow. See, it's really having a hard time getting that coin down.

Yeah. Which I get because I usually two too as well. When I try to put a coin in my gullet, anytime a liver spotted hand puts a coin in my gullet, I'm like, like an elderly man tries to put a coin in my mouth. I'm like, I can't get that down. I pretend to chew it for a while like, ooh, yum, yum, yum, yum. See if I can spit it out.

The face is very New World monkey. The face is very capuchin. Yeah, it's a nice face. Yeah, I would say that 100% that this is, if it had to be in a family of animal, it would probably facially be in the capuchin. So we think it's a, this is a child of God, creature of God? Yeah, I think it is. Look at his little mom.

I think it's a child of God that's done something wrong. Yeah. Yeah. He like, he asked, he asked, all he did, by the way, was ask a question. Like, he asked God. Yeah, he asked God why. And no context, he just said why. Hey, why?

And God said absolutely not. Snap his fingers made him a box. Yes. Yes. So true. 100%. So true. I've always said that actually.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is this a creature of God Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers mascot? Yeah, yeah. You know Gritty? Oh, I know Gritty. I know Gritty.

I've actually never seen Gritty. Oh, you know him intimately. Absolutely. Me and Gritty spent a beautiful week in a cabin together. And when you made love with Gritty, what was that like? Wow. Who was like more dominant? Or was it completely down the middle?

Yeah, I'd say Gritty is wildly versed. Yeah. Superverse. And I'm getting that up all right. He loves to spin. Oh, he loves to spin. He loves to spin on it. Okay, so the thing about Gritty is he loves to spin on it.

He loves to spin on it. And he spins on it like this. Like he picks up his torso and he twirls around. I will say like, yeah, he's on something. He's on something for sure. Yeah. Gritty's about it. He's about it.

He's locked in. He's about it. He's about it. He's got some gorgeous Lulu Lemon shorts. Yeah. His whole face is a beard. Yes. And yeah, I would wear that.

Jersey? Could you imagine the artist who's like doing a bump and making this suit? Yes. Yeah. A hundred percent I was going to be gritting. It's going to be orange. It's going to be orange. It's going to have two arms, two legs. Get a big old belly. No teeth. No teeth. Teeth are fucked. His hat is going to look like a dog toy. Oh, I've got a good one. Yeah. Can we look up Snarf from the Wondercats?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you look up Snarf from the Wondercats? Yeah, can we Google that? Oh, you're snarf. Are you familiar with Snarf? No, I know. I have so many blind spots, you guys. Yeah, we fuck with snar. Oh, that's a child of God. Oh, yeah. Snarf is gorgeous and adorable.

And all he says is snarf, snarf. And there are compilations of him going like, Snarf, snarf, snarf, and that's it. And it's like one of the most annoying characters ever. He's so cute. He was like an era of cartoons where there were just a bunch of characters that did that. Yeah. Yeah.

Is he humping that thing? Yeah. What is that? Is that a cuttip and he's humping it? He's humming a cute tip, duh. This divas never swept a floor in her life. I'm obsessed with this. She was like, what is that instrument in its pause?

Surely it's some sort of cue tip. It's the biggest, big cue tip. The big brown cutip. Why does he have a wig on that stick? Yeah, yeah. I don't have many thoughts up here. The ones I do have are cutip related. Yes.

Because I love taking wax up. You know what I'm sick and tired of. I'm sick and tired of people being like, don't put those in your ears. Oh, my God. No, no, put them in. In fact, let me put them in. You're like, they're like, they're like, Like, you could go too far and her.

I'm like, I'm not going to go too far. I know I won't. No, I'm. No, because I'll hear it. Because, honey, that's my ear drum. I'll hear it. What am I goofy? If you destroy your ears with a cut tip, that's because you're not competent.

That's because you're goofy. I've been doing this for so many years. Absolutely. I've never had anything nightmare happening. And you know what you could do? What? Have me look in your ear with a flashlight on my phone and some sort of instrument. This was a huge phase.

I'll get it out. You were doing that to other people? She was doing that to other people. I much had a birthday where I wouldn't let anyone come in. Unless I could clean their ears first. Yes, that is true. Okay, absolutely. And you know what?

Here's what I'll say is that's normal. That's totally regular. And it's normal. And that was a birthday party of God. Y'all ever had a bug in your ear? No. No, but I've seen crazy fungus in other people's ears. Ongus.

Like a forest. Oh, Lord. When you look at it closely. Do you think it's fungal? I would love to look. You specifically can't. I would love to look. I can't.

I shouldn't have mentioned it. I would love to look. She's like proffing its mouth. I would love to look. She's like her leg right now. I would love to look. Get me in your ear. What?

What are you talking about? Friends, countrymen. Get me in your ear. Okay, next one. Is it a creature of God? Oh, Friar Dom. I would love to know if Friar Dom is a providance's mascot. Those are saying things.

Oh, Friar Dom. Friar Dom, the province mascot. That is fucked up. Yeah, it's not crazy. Who did that? I don't know, but it is like, it is like, it's not crazy. That is one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my entire life and to give it a bowl cut. This is what I think needs to be a rule.

No sports mascot is allowed to be a person. You cannot make a person mascot because they always end up looking like this. I mean, it's terrifying. I mean, it's terrifying. The dark eyes, the mouth that is a pit to nowhere. And was this guy considered to be the Pope? He was not considered. See, that's rude.

And that's a criminal. That's criminal. He's just some monk. He's just some monk and he just shows up. Can we see this one where he's doing vague karate? Oh, yeah, we got to. Yeah. Why not?

And here's my thing. Why not just get some jacked kind of oiled up guy out there and he's wearing a hood but he's like shirtless. Yeah. Like that can be your mascot. Yeah. Like a jacked shirtless oiled up guy instead of. Right.

Exactly. Or even if it was like the creepy mask but on a jacked shirtless guy, I'd be like, oh, that's kind of fun. You know what I mean? They're having fun with it. Yeah. This is terrified. No, I do.

I really do. think that like mascots can't be people because they end up being this. Yeah. And maybe the guy's naked and it's just maybe, and it's just maybe me and the guy. You're just saying you just want like a naked guy at this event. Yeah, I just think maybe maybe a naked guy. At this event. Instead of whatever this is. Yeah. You know what? I think it would be better. Right. Just a naked guy instead of this. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. I guess I guess we can do that. Yeah. Yeah. I guess we can do that. Who did this? Who did this? And why isn't it a naked guy? I feel like we should be able to bring people up on charges for like bad art.

Is this the creature of God? No. No. Well, that's really crazy. And it's not even the creature of a devil. No. It's like, it's a different entity that maybe we aren't even aware of yet. Yeah.

Yeah. It's actually, I actually think we have to end on this one because I don't think there's anything worse than that. You can't, you can't really escalate. But what if we gave him a little nose piercing? Wait, what if we gave him a nose piercing? Wait, what if we gave him like a silver like buy boy book bag? What if we gave him a silver like a silver like turvice?

You guys. Fryer could be the. the next Silver Lake by boy trend. Yeah, wait, maybe we should make Friar Dom the Providence mascot a bi-silver Lake bookbag boy. And you know what, that would be good haircut-wise because so many of them bought so early.

Oh my God. That's so true. Kind of ravaging the Silver Lake community. Wait, okay, okay, you came for them. Okay. Okay. Okay. Are we creating drama on this podcast? Wow.

Okay, this is absolutely stunning. That was a segment that made no sense at all called, Is this a creature of God? That's music. You know, a normal podcast segment. That's normally how long the music should go on. Absolutely, just a second. Yeah, just a second.

Vinny, do you have a podcast? No. Why not? I know, I need to get one. I'm working on one now. I've got a couple irons in the fires. What are you doing now? I've got a couple irons in the fires.

Is there anything fun that you're doing that you can tell the people to go check out? Oh, yeah. I'm in Platonic. The second season's out now on Apple TV. Yes. I'm also going to be in a movie called Judgment Day that's coming out. I don't know when it's coming out. Oh, yeah. I had to make my own. People take me home so much. It's so good. So the industry is so annoying. Just getting on a deadline is like the most exhausting exercise in the history of the world. Yeah. Anyway. But yeah. But yeah, that's pretty exciting. Yeah.

That's so exciting. Where else can the people find you on the big bad internet? On the big bad internet. You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok at V-I-N-N-N- underscore-A-Y-Y-Y. That's V-I-N-N-N-U-Y-Y-Y. That was beautiful. Thank you so much. I was actually so well-in.

Yeah, I shouldn't have picked that for my handle. Why? Because it's not, I should have just tried to get Vinnie Thomas. But I was so young when I made it, I was like, Vin-A-V-A-U-N-A-U. Vin-A-I-I-L-A-U. And it's hard because when I say that to people, it's just all spelling. Yeah. Like, I'm like, there's no one knows instinctively how to spell De-L-L-A-U.

And they should. O-C-D-E-L-A-U. And it's like, oh, that's a lot of anti-Italian sentiment. And I think that on that note, on that note, guys, don't be anti-Guito. Yeah, don't be a Wop hater. Support a Guido near you. Absolutely. We'll link some resources.

And, yeah, thank you so much for being here. Yeah, thank you so much. Join our Patreon. If you want to see longer episodes with more shit in it. Yeah. If you want to do movie nights with us, if you want to just, just fuck around. Yeah.

And until next time, I've been Sid this entire time. I've been the Olivia one the entire time. Who have you been? And I've been Vinnie. Whoa. Whoa. And guys, we will see you next Tuesday, freeze frame.