Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - We Committed (Petty) Crimes!

Episode Date: August 19, 2025

This week on the big bad podcast for you it's Griff from Petty Crimes! Go to https://ThriveMarket.com/TALK to start saving. The sale ends 8/31—don’t miss it. Remember these episodes now go up a few days early AND with bonus content on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Griff Stark-Ennis https://www.instagram.com/griffstarkennis/ https://www.youtube.com/ ⁨@pettycrimespodcast⁩ Chapters 00:42 | Intro 01:00 | A Deep Dive Into Crime With Griff 02:59 | Over Or Under 07:08 | Shoplifting Underwear 10:26 | Learning From Pettiness 19:47 | Dating Apps Are Petty 23:14 | Is This A Crime? 34:59 | Being New To Dating 41:41 | Water Sommelier 46:39 | Is This Song Criminal? 50:25 | Is The Magic School Bus Video Criminal 57:07 | Where To Find Griff This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh my God, the salmon is... I know, right? And then Ms. Frizzles in the bus. There are so many... I'm assuming Republicans. I'm commenting things like, you two are perverted. This is a beautiful video

and exactly how it should go. There are all these people being like, this is exactly what it should be. Do not hate on this. This is perfect. The thing that bothered me that I think is criminal is this misunderstanding.

Of people going, that's literally how, fish reproduce. There are hundreds of comments. Totally. That's literally how salmon reproduced. And I'm like, I'm not saying it's not. No. I'm not taking it like. I'm saying the kids shouldn't be in the egg. Welcome to the big bad podcast for you. Oh, guys, it's even badder this time. It's even bigger this time. It's Sid and Olivia Talk shit. I'm the Sid one. Today we have another one. This person is going to inform us today about a lot of true crime. We're going to be doing. We're going to be

doing a deep dive into the criminal justice system. We're going to be getting really into crime today. I'm usually into crime, but like, like, just actively, like doing it. I'm usually into crime and that I'm being arrested for them constantly. But today, we're like really getting into the subject of crime. So long as it's petty. As long as it's petty. I have no qualifications otherwise.

It's Griff from Petty Crime. Hello. How are you? I'm good. Thank you for having me. Oh, my God. So much for coming. On. Of course. This is so exciting. Why don't you explain kind of what the podcast is for people who are dumbed down and don't know it.

People who are dumb, stoopy and they've never even seen it with their own eyes and ears. Who haven't even discovered us yet. Yeah, for stoopy people. Stoopy people. It's called petty crimes. It's a true crime comedy podcast that exclusively investigates non-crimes. Love that. So our listeners, week over week, submit crimes from their lives, really like interpersonal stories that are petty and low stakes. And pretty silly oftentimes. And then my co-host, Kira and I bring them into our petty crimes court. And we alternate presenting the case. So one will be judge, one will be jury, and then we'll flip-flop the next week. That's amazing.

And we basically run through their story, which are increasingly getting wild as our audience grows. Because everyone's a little petty and people are really strange. Oh, yeah. And then we, yeah, we go through the story and we very unqualified rule who is guilty and who is not within the story. As you should. And then we give them a petty sentencing, go into a little criminal minimal at the end, which we can maybe do today. And it's good. It's a good show.

Fucking check it out. Okay. I love that. I love that. So, like, you know, being like a person who is the judge of pettiness, I'm sure there are things that you do that could be considered petty. Yes. Do you have something that you either have done or often do that is like considered petty? Well, we were just talking off.

I was like, wow, what a great question. I wonder where this came from. We were just talking off camera with a few of the producers, too, about toilet paper and the kind of eternal debate of whether or not it should roll over or under. Yeah. Olivia, what do you think? Yeah, exactly. Before I spill the tea.

I feel like when I picture toilet paper, it's going to, for me, it's going to be over. Okay. And I, of course, said over as well. Okay, got it. So we are friends. Oh, good, good, good. Thank God. No, because it rolls over.

It rolls over. Remind me your name? Oh, Cass. Your producer. Yours rolls under? My wife. Oh, blaming your wife. Very petty.

Very petty. But he brought up the fact that I think a lot of people who are pro over know, which is that the original patent for toilet paper by Mr. Toilet Paper. Yeah. Dr. Tollip. Exactly. Rolls the fuck over. For whatever reason, maybe it, I mean, that was the design. And so something that I do actively, that's Betty, is whenever I go into.

a house, like literally anyone's house. And I'm peeing. I told you, I'm never pooping in someone else. I'm very regular. Rare boy. I will change their toilet paper to roll over if it is rolling under. Yes. And I will not tell anyone. I'll exit the bathroom and I'll let my decision positively impact their life. Wow. Yes. And then the thing I asked you after that is I was like, do you do that for you or for them? Mostly for me. Yeah. Let's be honest. Probably for everyone. of humanity. Because it just, we're looking at the patent now. United States Patent Office.

Wow, there's the patent. Yeah, it does. It goes over. Oh, my gosh. And why do we, why do we think that is? Like, what is the benefit of the toilet paper going over? Well, because then it's just closer to your hand. Oh, good point.

To me, I'm like, you reach out and you just go, whereas if it's under, you kind of have to be like, oh, I have to get, you have to reach your hand under. That's my take. You know what I will say, looking at this patent. The one benefit I do see to it rolling under. Yeah. Which is why public places have.

that little like metal slap that like holds it is that maybe when it rolls under the wall prevents it from rolling so much. Oh. Because I'm looking at the way I prefer it and it does seem like it would, you know, that that would be a cat's dream. Right. Oh, that is a cat's dream. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. It could be slightly harder depending on the proximity of the wall for the cat to achieve its dream. Exactly. Right. Right. Oh, yeah. Olivia, what's the pettiest thing you've ever done? Oh my gosh.

Or a pettiest thing you actively do? I never bring anything up. That's what I do that's pretty. Oh. I keep everything in. Yes. Yeah, I keep everything in and I just go like, well, this person always does that. And that is like maybe past petty to like really bad.

Our petty criminals are people, we've seen a trend. We've been doing the show for three and a half years now. They are oftentimes people who don't speak up in the moment. Yes. And let things fester. Yeah. That's what I do. That's what I do every day.

Uncle Fester. That's me. Uncle Fester. And it's not healthy. No. We give them an outlet to eventually let it out. That is maybe I'll start writing into your show. Yeah.

about things Sydney does. I see them. I want one. I think the, yeah, the way to prevent pettiness is communicating. 100%. You have to let it out. And it can still be petty. It's like the source is petty.

It's got to be petty. But like you don't want pettiness to build up for too long because then the pettiness turns into something more serious. That's true. Which is not what our show covers. I guess the thing about it too is that like you can, you can bring. And murder can be petty. Murder can be petty.

Murder can be really petty. Actually, if you look up like Florida man crimes, I think a lot of murders are probably petty. A lot of murders are just like, you cheated on me. And it's like, I don't like being cheated on at all. But I also am not so petty that I would murder someone over it. Yeah. It depends on who they cheat on me with. Well, I could murder someone for something.

If it's my dad. Yeah, if it's my dad, then you're going to die. Oh, my God. And that's a little petty. Yeah, it's interesting. That, yeah, yeah, that's true. I guess the pettiness of the cheating. If they're petty enough to cheat on you with your dad,

then you can be petty enough to kill them. Here's something petty I used to do for years. Beautiful. For years. For years. Okay. Every year of college. Years.

College. College. Okay. I found out that Victoria's Secret used child labor. Oh, well, we did this together. We did this together. I'm not expecting you to say that. And now my petty reaction.

Was it petty theft? Yeah. I would go to Victoria's Secret, take underwear into the dressing room, put it on underneath my. clothes and walk the fuck out. Can I, can I add, and this is a real crime that we were admitting to on the internet. Exactly. Can you retroactively be, you can't be, you can't be.

They cannot come for me. They cannot come for me. No, this is, yeah, you guys are, you guys are. You can't do it. Figure out your shit. I actually, I was about to say, like, here's how we used to do it in urban outfitters. And then I'm like, I don't actually know if I should give everyone tips on how to, but I, but if you find me in the street, I'll give you the tips on the street, but I can't give it on the street. but I can't give it on the podcast.

So you would put the underwear over the underwear you were maybe wearing? Yeah, yeah, I was. College? College, I used to wear underwear. How many pairs of underwear would you put on over your underwear? Oh, infinite as many as I fucking could. Wow. Because the thing about it is I was like, I'm going to put on so many because I'm going to not buy.

First of all, I don't want to spend money on these like tiny, tiny little thong that were made by children. No, you know what kind of underwear, little. Tiny little. Okay, breaking news. Suddenly wears thought. Little little bit of material paying so much money for it. Being like $45.30. And I was like, I'm just going to put on so many.

And then what am I going to do? Leave and they're going to what, go like, excuse me, man, take off your pants. Yeah, that's true. They can't really, yeah, they can't really fact check down. Would you say you're more petty or more criminal? With that one? No, in general. Oh.

Just everyone. In general, actually, maybe more criminal. I'm more criminal, I think. I think. I'm like stealing. I mean, like, you know, Shoplifting underwear is a crime. Yeah, technically.

The reason is petty, like, why you're doing it is petty. Yeah. And it's very nice. It's altruistic. Okay. Shout out to the workers. Shout out. It's so altruistic.

Shout out. Shout out to the workers. But yeah, that's a full-on crime girl. I know. And in college, I remember telling my therapist and being like, but I'm doing it for the kids. And my therapist being like, you're not. And this is actually so stupid. That does not count.

I think I might be more criminal than petty too. Really? Oh, this is so. We have to go in a spree after that. I've definitely, oh my God, this is like on YouTube, right? I know, I know. No one's going to see it. No one's going to see it.

No one's going to see it. No one's going to see this episode. No one knows me. No one knows us. People turn it off when we come on. I have also acted like I have no idea what you're talking about. I have also been known to sticky finger certain things. Well, everyone's had a college face.

Currently? Currently, not currently. Not currently. Not currently. Of course not. Not like right now. Of course not. You're not doing it right now.

No. You're not feeling. When there are massive powers at B that aren't going to know the difference, it is petty of me to take from their business. That's correct. And it's not like a tip-based place. So it's not affecting the workers. Correct. And so I don't think it's really affecting their bottom line.

There you go. Correct me if I'm wrong. I almost said the name. But yeah, that's a good question. Because I'm not really that petty. Like I, it's funny because I host petty crimes, but like I am way more direct. and communicative, I think, than a lot of our listeners. It's probably because...

Right, and that's why you need to be the judge or jury. Yeah. Yeah, or sometimes at least. And also, like, that also probably prevents you from being petty. Constantly reading about pettiness probably is the best lesson for being like, oh, I don't want to be like, yeah. How petty crimes is my therapy. Kira and I talk about that all the time.

We learn from other people's mistakes. And so if it comes down to someone Venmoing me for buying toilet paper, then I'm going to be like... Venmo requesting you. Yeah, exactly. Like, give me $3.60. We've lived together for four years. I'll probably like, babe, why are we doing this?

Yes. You know? And like just keep a little pillowbox. And it's like I'll send it. But like I feel like you don't like me. Yeah. I'll send you the money. I just feel like you don't like me.

Oh man. Yeah. That was a revelation. Yeah. No, definitely like worth talking about. Like any, any sort of like, like, oh, I don't, I don't feel like this is right. Definitely worth. Yeah.

I will say I'm petty in the way that like if someone, like there are people who. Okay. There are people who let's say there's people we've both known or dated. or had fallings out with. Yep. And they're mutuals? Let's see Sid had like people that like she, you know, knew and then didn't know. Okay.

She is totally fine with all those people. She's in good standing with pretty much everyone. I am not in good standing with those people on her side. Oh, interesting. There are people who I'm like, oh, I hate this person indefinitely because they said this thing to Sid once. And it's like, yeah, but like, however. Yeah. I will say.

One of the funniest memories I have is from, like, college. And I had, like, an ex in college or something who was coming to something. Yeah. And you were like, I am going to fucking give him a piece of my mind. I don't fucking like this guy. And then he came over and you were like, hey, how are you? And that's funny. Because it's like, I'm keeping it all.

The intent. Yeah, no, that's fair. And then you walked away and you were like, I didn't even say. I didn't even say, it's so very nice to see you. How have you been? I got him. Yeah. It's like, no, she was lovely.

I was such a golden retriever that like me being mean is like, is like, hi. Got it. You guys knew each other in college? High school and college. Whoa. Where are you from? Well, I was born here. Okay.

In LA? Yeah. And then lived in Vegas for 10 years and then came back. And I've been in LA the whole time. And then we met when she came back from Vegas. And we were on a high school improv team because no one wanted to fuck us. And then we went to college together and we were like, wait, we should do comedy stuff together more specifically.

And how people want to fuck us. And making people want to fuck us. Oh, cool. And the second part hasn't worked, but we do the comedy, which is good. Got it. Okay. And that's fine. I'm fine with that.

Yeah. Am I? We'll never know. We'll never fucking know. Comedy World. So my host and I are college friends as well. We met in college. Oh, my God.

We're in college. Boston College. Oh, fun, fun. East Coast. We grew up in the same kind of area code of northern New York. We obviously didn't know each other. I'm from a farm all the way north. You're from a farm?

That's kind of everything. I did. Did you have chickens? We did have chickens. I had chickens. Work. I didn't grow up on a farm that they were not legal. So you had criminal.

Literally though. That literally. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so like suburban coop? Yeah. Like backyard coop and eventually they came for us and the chickens. Oh.

No, that would be awesome. That would be everything. No, the city. Okay. But all of our neighbors banned together and said, actually, we own these chickens all together, which they didn't. But they just said like according to the code, now you can't come for them. So have good neighbors. That's exactly the kind of shit we cover.

We've had a suburb. bourbon chicken coop crime submitted to us where, you know, it is lovely that this household has decided to have chickens and farm fresh eggs and... We didn't have a rooster. That's the other thing. I want to just clarify, we did not have a rooster. Okay, so no like cockadoodle doing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, grew up on a farm. She and I met in college. We were like socially friends. And then I moved to Los Angeles. When she moved to Los Angeles, we reconnected and we just started developing this little idea, this little petty idea. That's so fun. That was three and a half

years ago. Well, I also think you're kind of doing the Lord's work because you're showing people like, don't do this, be direct. And then maybe we can all get along. Yeah, a little more directness. I'm, it's funny because Kira and I balance each other out very well. I'm new to dating. And so I've also learned a lot from being partners with her. And I'm dating, I'm queer, so I'm dating a lot of types of people. But regardless, I'm learning about certain strengths of mine and also certain things that I need to work on. Totally. And in certain areas, it pays to be direct. But in certain areas, it does not. It does not.

Yeah. Choose your battles. Yeah. Oh, I mean, that's the biggest. Yeah. I think that's like the biggest like log line of anything dating. Yeah. And anything petty.

Your balance. The whole point of petty is that it's like you're choosing the wrong battles, right? Like that's the definition of petty. Yeah. This is not the battle. It's repurposed. Yeah. And I definitely resonate with that because I think especially in the queer world where people grow up being like needing to be defensive and to defend themselves.

and to, I guess, explain themselves. Now that we're dating in L.A., which is a shit show, by the way, because none of us know how to do it, it is like a constant kind of like inability to like let things go. I did it on an app the other day. I sent it a grinder, have we heard of it? Of course. I am learned this morning.

I sent an album to someone. Obviously it was explicit. And he asked for. Like a song. Oh, yeah. I was like, that's fine, a grinder you said. Here's Sabrina Carpenter's man's best friend. He was a music producer.

I was trying to climb. This is my album. He asked, I sent an album which takes care of everything, right? You see all of me quite literally. And he asked for a follow-up picture. And I was like, it's in the album. And he goes, no, it's not.

And so I opened my album to look for the picture that he was requesting. And I was like, yes, it is. And I literally in that moment was like, I should just let it go because it's really not that important. Like he, whatever. It doesn't matter. But I fired off. Oh, well, it was. But then I was like, but here's the picture you requested.

Yeah. And he liked that. Okay. I think that's like there's an element of spice there. It's not like mean. It's not like you dumb. Of course it is. Yeah.

But yeah, I get you. I get you. Yeah. I get you. He should have just looked through the pictures. I think you did the right thing actually. I don't think you were in the wrong there because what? And then he's going to gaslate you about every nude for the rest of your eyes is marriage.

Yeah. And it's funny because it's like. Yeah, you guys are getting married. Yeah. We're getting married. married. And you never, and you, you don't know actually. It's funny because you like, you joke about that. And I joke about that. It's like really not that serious. But like it's, it's still a dating app. And so I've had historically great conversations with people. And again, you know, we haven't met it in person or we have just once. And something petty like that will come up. And because of how sensitive we are, I think everyone is, but especially queer people. Something like the way I responded would like kill the conversation. And then I would never potentially see them and maybe get married to them. And so now that. And so now that. that I'm focused more so on finding meaningful connection and using this tool for what it is or what it could be used for, I am second checking myself and being like, you don't need to be

petty and say, no, I'm right because he might, he might run away. Right. Yeah. It's like, does it matter to be who's right or like, is that matter more to you than like, let's just be happy? Yes, yes. Sometimes I feel like. It's hard. I know. I know it is so hard. But sometimes I feel like, especially if you, like, grew up with siblings. I did. Very different to who I am. And we had to, like, battle it out a lot, you know? And there's like a, uh, uh, an instinct to be like, well, I'm right to the person that you're spending a lot of time with who becomes kind of familial to you.

Like, no, no, no, you're wrong and I'm right. But then you're dating somebody and you're like, I have the instinct to do that because I spent so long with a sibling. Yeah. And then you're like, but I don't, I don't want to do that. And I don't need to do this. It doesn't matter. It's petty. You know what is so much more stressful than a packed calendar?

Two packed calendars. Or, yeah, realizing you don't have any coffee before your morning meeting. That's like a nightmare. That's like a nightmare I've had when I was asleep before. That's why I stocked up on coffee when I saw that Thrive Market was having a back-to-school sale. Even if you're not going back to school, this is a great time to reset because Thrive makes it easy to shop for high-quality pantry staples, snacks, vitamins. and even skin care without the errands or the ingredient label deep dives. I just restocked with Aloha protein bars, simple mills crackers, and my favorite poppy drinks, and all of it was 25% off.

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Choose a template with your timeless cool Those two Drive design deliver make it sing AI builds the deck so you can build that thing Acrobat Learn more at adobe.com slash do that with Acrobat I also feel like apps dating apps are inherently So much pettier than any other type of dating

Because everyone Like the thing you said is so valid of like growing up and being like I have to fight to be like guys I exist and I'm literally allowed to exist and this is how I exist and it's fucking allowed and leave me the fuck alone and that is a whole fucking thing. And then on top of that just being on apps and everyone everyone who's on apps has had so many bad experiences on apps. So they're projecting like oh my god this is going to be every guy you know in a hetero thing is going like oh this girl just wants turdda-dur and every girl. is going like, oh, this guy just, you know, and, and it's just like, how girls sound that's how, yeah, that's how all women sound, okay? Quoting on that. He sounds like, man, nan, nan, nan, no, you know. All women are like, well, I could be unsafe here physically if this is the wrong person. Yeah, it's a good point.

So there's this level of defense. And then, and then. It's not personal. No. Like, it's, you're on a screen. And so it's, and petting. Yeah. You know, we've seen the equation.

We've done the studies with our show. It's like, the less. personal you are with someone, the less you have like a connection with them. Yeah. The like, the, like, riper the petri dishes for pettiness. Yeah. And it's, and dating apps are that because it's like, I have not met this guy. We've been chatting for a few days, but he is a stranger to me.

And so any little, any little kind of wrongdoing that he might feel or I might feel is totally, it's like, it's fine to just use that as an excuse to want to way. It's like, it's like how people can like comment the most horrifying shit on, on Instagram and stuff. Oh my God. Yeah. You can, you can rip apart someone's physical. appearance or some you can make one of anything that someone has like it's all just material to like go at because you're not clocking you're not their humanity you're not clocking their humanity yeah their humanity their humanity is standing on business right on business i just heard

jason beber say that on his new album oh yeah he did yeah oh my yep yes he put his the recording of his paparazzi yeah that's actually everything and his producer was like yeah whatever he is like coaching him i had to be black oh no what yeah listen to the song girl it's so interesting the producer has like this um he's got like commentary weaved in and it's he's funny he keeps like saying like oh justin you're like soul is black but your skin is white and which is like you know a compliment justin's taking out of such is he's a is a black man good question because i was like yes i mean yeah yeah i think if he's a white man then that's not okay yeah i don't think the producer's black i don't i would be i would be shocked if justin put that on and the producer's white but yeah that would be

crazy i was picturing that as a white person being like justin you're so black yeah and i was like i don't No, no, no, no. We should do that. Yeah, standing on business. Oh, that's how you really get people away from, I guess. That's what the producer said. Oh, my God. Whatever. Wow. Wow. A strange. Wow. A strange track. Well, I got to listen to that album. I do love Like whatever his crash out is, like the clip he posted of that with the mashup of the Love Island. I'm a dad and a mommy. It was a very funny mashup. Wait, Justin Mashed up? No, someone did it. And then he posted it on his page.

Which is like, it's good to know that he has a sense of him. No, it's like I know nothing about anything. But that the fact that he posted that is very fucking funny. Yeah, it's attractive. Yeah. Right. Let's all fuck him. I would.

Okay, guys. Yeah. Let's actually all goes. This isn't on the other finger. He's married. He's married. He's married, you guys. So speaking of questioning if things are petty or not.

Okay. We do have some things that we want to get your take on to see, like, is this a crime? I think it's kind of like what you guys do of like criminal or minimal. Yeah. So we're going to just kind of chat about these things. This is a segment we're calling, is this a crime? Music. Cut the music. Cut the music. Okay. So, um, so just like, let's all chat. Okay. Does this feel like a crime? Yeah, we're going to list some things. And you're going to tell us, is this a crime? And if it is a crime, how bad of a crime? Okay. You know, like, okay.

Um, Olivia, do you want to do this first one? Yeah. Um, not texting someone back. Let's say within 24 hours. Oh, okay. Oh, who is this person? Just anyone? Anyone. Yeah. Just. Just. Just these are just minimal. Oh, sorry. I'm trained. Yeah, minimal. I'm going to just say criminal or minimal. Minimal.

Minimal. Like that is. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. Like I feel, I mean, unless it's like a dire situation or someone that is asking you for something. Again, but this is just in general. Yeah. We need to be less connected to people in general.

It is not normal how connected we are to the amount of people we are. And so if you can't get to a text response within 24 hours, generally I'm going to say that's minimal. You want to hear something. This is, okay, yes, 100%. So I love that you answered that. I never do. I will always respond. I want to show you my phone really quick.

That's crazy. Wait, hold on. Just so for the people listening, I'm not going to show. 1,671 on Red Text. How many group chats are you part of? So many. That's the, that's the, that's the Achilles heel. Yeah.

Just like, I'll like sign up for a 10% discount on a website two years ago. And you'll just never tell them to stop. And I'll just never stop. I'll just keep deleting it. Got it. No, yeah. That's a lot of... It's horrifying.

But the good news is I'm not going to jail for that. That's true. I just said minimal. Yeah. I just ruled. Yeah. The thing I was going to tell you is that sometimes I feel that people expect a text back and that can lead them to crime. For example...

Been there. Oh, my God. That literally just happened to me yesterday. Really? I'm like, that's the thing. Like our show, we say things and then we were like, wait, I did the opposite literally yesterday. Oh, my God. My friend didn't respond to me on Instagram.

And I jokingly, he sent me a reel, which is like I'm getting used to. Like, gays love to send reels because they're funny and like that's a form of communication. Yeah. Without saying anything. Gay's love to send reels. And so I take time to watch the reel and I'm like, oh, okay, start to finish because I like to consume. And then I respond based on that reel. I'm like to consume.

I literally bullet pointed responded. I'm such a robot. And he saw it and it didn't respond. And then a day goes by, I'm not thinking of it. And then I'm thinking of them for something else. and I'm going to DM him, and I see that he never responded to me. And I say, what did I say? Let me bring it up, girls.

Oh, no. He sent me a reel. I go, LOL. It's another podcast. Ugh. And I said, good to know this length of reel did well. Funny, because it's like we're trying, we're like toying with like the length of our reel. I get that.

I get that. Yeah. So one. Two, I remember my first time masturbating. It was in the Berkshires. I really hope that has nothing to do with the reel. I think it's like they're talking about like a story. The real is just like a cat.

Like. jumping around. He sent it to me because it was like this kind of petty story that these podcasters were talking about. And then I say, I feel like you and this kid would be friends if you were younger. Nice. And then he didn't respond to that. I feel like I took the time to respond to his message.

Very thoughtful. And so the next day when I was going to message him about something totally different, like just a loving text, I instead of saying that loving text, I just said, fully ignored me, period. And he sent a question mark and I said, yes. And then he sent this. You have a sensitive side. Oh my God. So I, again, like, I just ruled minimal. I am such a perpetrator of it.

Sorry to interrupt you. No, no, you're so fine. So then maybe the person not responding to the text can be minimal. And then the person responding to the person not responding to the text can also be criminal. If you send me a text and I respond, like, we'll say immediately within the 24 hour period and then you don't respond to me. I feel like, why did you message me? Why did I respond? Yeah.

That's what that is. I had once someone knocked on my door at midnight. Oh, pass. And I was like, immediate, criminal. I was like, it was already criminal.

Criminal. I went to the door and I was like, um, hello. And I didn't open it. I just said it through the door. And they said,

hi, this is brew. Oh my God, I remember this. Not a real name. No, Drew. Classic brew.

He said, this is brew. Have you noticed anything weird around here? He is not doing well with this. I wanted to be like you right now. Right now is weird. In front of my door?

He said, your neighbor. I texted your neighbor. I'm not going to say their name. Okay. Why not? Say their name. I text.

Let's call him. And your address. Yeah. I'll just, let's call him. Spork. Junk. Junk. Junk.

Let's call him junk. Okay. Brew and Spunk. Oh, drunk. Oh, my God. Let's call him junk. Let's call him Spunk. Look what happens.

Yeah, his name is Spunk. He was like, I texted your neighbor six hours ago and he didn't respond. And I'm wondering if something's going on. Oh, shit. I already called the police and they're out front. No way. And the police were out front. And then I hear Spunk in the other apartment going, brew?

And he goes, Brew, what's happening? And I went, okay, you got, no, you guys got this. Yeah. And then I walked away. And then I saw Brew and Spunk talking to the police. I'm just curious as to like, what is Spunk's life that six hours of no communication warrants calling the cops? Because it's either that Brew is a lunatic or a very codependent lover. Yeah.

Or a good person. Or a good person. Who knows? is in danger. Because it could be that Spunk is a person who is usually in danger. Yeah, maybe Spunk's constantly in danger. Being off the grid for six hours is a really bad thing.

Or Brew is like Spunk's sponsor or something. Yeah. Or Brew. Terrible name for an A sponsor is brew. Oh, excuse me. Well, yeah. Well, brew because it's going to always remind you. That's true.

It's just kind of like all of it. It was just like weird. But the coming to my door at midnight, I would say it's criminal. Yes, for sure. Speaking, this reminded me. Do you think it's a criminal if an Amazon package gets delivered before 6.30 in the morning? And you have, and like, that's on you to like open a door or something. Oh, and you need to sign for yourself?

Yeah, if you have to like, I'm saying this because this happens to you. It happens to me regularly. Like for some reason, the Amazon employees in my neighborhood do a really early. You're just like literally first on their route. Yes. And they like click the gate button and I have to go. to wake up at like 6 a.m. and go like me and let them in. Yeah, I think that's criminal. And while it feels criminal, it's also not their fault because I'm guessing they're getting a

crazy ship. Right. That's true. It's totally. It's not criminal of Amazon. Yes. And so many things are. Exactly. Right. And so many things are. And Amazon can be criminal in so many. Yeah, Amazon is. And you know it's criminal of me to order from Amazon. That is criminal. And that's maybe why you shoplifted a little I stopped ordering from Amazon in my old apartment because every package everyone ordered from every place and every piece of mail would get stolen every day. So I stopped because I was like, I don't want to just order things for other people to steal. They have enough things to steal. Fair.

I think a delivery of any package should be within business hours. And 630 is not. Yeah, probably. Okay, what about this? Is this criminal having sex in a room with roommates? Like in Love Island, how they all fuck undercovers. Or in college. Or in college.

Or like some people after college because they just are like. Just like kind of in general. And yeah. And this is not a group sex. activity, just to specify. We're not talking about the roommate being. This is having sex around people who are not consenting to hear or

know about. And may or may not be asleep. Or are they, they're not asleep on Love Island, right? Sometimes. Okay. I've not watched it. Is it worse if they're asleep? Is that more, like, you know? If they're, I don't. Wait, what? That was more. Like, if I'm in college and I bring someone home and I,

my roommate Paul is fast asleep and I know it, I hook up with someone, it only takes five minutes. Yeah. And they leave. Is that worse than like Paul waking up when we come in and being like, do you mind? Is that what you mean? Yeah, I guess is it creamier. Oh my God.

It's so much we're weird to be like, do you mind if we have sex in the room while you're here? Yeah, it is. That's so much more odd. It is uncomfortable, but is it kind of deviant in a way that may not be cool. I hear what you mean. To fuck in a room when someone is unconscious in the same room and didn't, like, If the person's awake, they at least know what's going on. And I think that's gross.

Like, I don't, I wouldn't partake. But I have been in situations where, let's say, someone, a roommate was asleep. And I have felt like, am I being rippie right now? Because they're asleep next across the room from you having sex? Yeah. No, you're not. It's not really. You're not.

So long as, let's be clear, so long as you're not having sex with the person's sleeping. No, no, no. And that is bad. That is actually criminal. And that's bad always. And that's real life criminal capital. For sure. Yeah.

And I would say just in general, oh, man, I'm going to say minimal. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to say minimal because that's like a, that's a good one. I'm feeling minimal. It's just, it's just sex. I feel like most people are doing it under the cover. Yeah. You and your person you're having sex with oftentimes are trying to be as private as possible.

It's not like you're being super showcasedy of it. Yeah. Can I put a statute of limitations on it? For sure. I think we. I think we. I think 30 and below. Oh, I was going to go even lower. I was going to say if you're like college senior.

Yeah. I think that's the end. Because I'm picturing people being in like post college situations in big cities like New York or L.A. where you're not going to have your own room, but you are going to be hooking up a lot. And so I was giving grace for that. Oh, yeah. Fuck in the bathroom. That's so fun.

Part of me is also like if you're. Or make or pick up the person who's asleep, put them in the bathroom. Put them in the bathtub. Put them in the bathtub. The water room. Put the water on and then feel like, wake up and go to a hotel and fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

There's like, oh my God, college is wild. It's fine. I wonder what your listeners will think and your viewers. But like, I mean, I've been there. I've been in bed while someone's having, my roommate's having sex. I've definitely brought someone back. Yep. Yeah.

That's so weird. College is not normal. Like I live in a nine person suite and we had three people in a room meant for two people. It was a forced trip. Yeah. Like I will, I just can't. That's crazy. Yeah.

I was in the same situation in college. I had a triple in a room that was supposed to be a double. And it is just like, yeah, sometimes you kind of do what you got to do. So I don't know if you guys have had this experience. I was on the top bunk freshman year of college. And people were fucking underneath you? Well, I don't know exactly what they were doing. Okay.

They were playing checkers. So my roommate would bring home someone that in my head, hatefully, I called cuddle buddy. Okay. Because they would be like, we're just going to cuddle. And I would feel everything they were doing. Like the bed, like, I would feel every movement.

And I'd hear, like, it was like so, like, because the beds were attached and I was above them. Yeah. I did feel everything. You were part of the dance. I was part of it. Cuddling is pretty static. Cuddling is pretty like.

Yeah. But, yeah, there was like whispering and moving around. And like, I feel like they were doing. Yeah. That's at least. Minimal, they were doing writhing. Like it was a riving. Yeah.

They were at least writhing. It was at least her writhing. It was cuddling because I'm, this is so, I feel like I'm like a child, but I'm new to cuddling because I'm new to dating. I love that you're new to dating. I think that's horrible. And you know what? I talk about it. I have talked about the journey a lot on our show.

And a lot of people respond to us that they're also new to dating, you know? I think a lot of people are holding off when you're younger. Again, especially in the queer world, but especially as, you know, things get a little bit more modern, whatever. Yeah. I think the kind of like Hollywood narrative is that, like, you need to be a. in a relationship very quickly and I'm definitely excited to learn from that. There's so many upsides and so many horrific downsides. So when does cuddling not become cuddling?

When does it become writhing? Yeah, like one will look. One does it become writhing slash like inappropriate to be on the top bed. I think cuddling in my opinion is non-sexual. I think cuddling is like, gee-he-he, like, ooh, we're getting all like d-de-like up in each other and like hugging and we're getting all up and each other. But it's very different from like, we're getting all up in each other. You know what I mean?

Like, it's very different from like, ooh, I'm going to like rub my junk on your junk or whatever the fuck people do. That's what we do. I've had sex. I've had sex. But I think cuddling is, I think it's the intention. I think I think cuddling is is not sexual. Okay. And it can become sexual.

It can lead to sexual things. But I would call it cuddling until it gets sexual. Okay. Yeah. I see that. Yeah. So I've done a little cuddling. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm so, I think it's so fun that that you're new to dating. I think that that's very, very like. Yeah, the last year has been like, and we, I've been reminded by listeners and also friends of mine that dating has, I think, many different definitions. And so even like a hookup or friends with benefit could be considered dating in certain ways. And so I'm obviously looking for something more committed in that dating, like something more traditional, I suppose.

but I've been reminded not to discount my education in the dating world. 100%. Because that just looked different than, to be quite honest, the heteronormitivity that I grew up with. Not to be that guy. No, no, no, totally. But it's real. And also, like, I think that there is something interesting about dating where, like,

you never know what you're going to, what lesson you're going to get from any type of thing, whether it's a hookup or like a situation ship or something that goes awful and terribly wrong. And, like, I think every. Where'd you go there? Every dating thing you definitely learn what type of person you don't want to be around. Sometimes you learn what kind of person you do want to be around. Often you learn what you don't want to be around, who you don't want anywhere near you ever again. And that's good to learn.

That's good to learn. Because if you accidentally get into a committed relationship with someone who possesses all the qualities that you should have learned earlier, more casual dating that you do not want the fuck around you at all, that's worse. Yeah. Well, it is also like, it is so true of like the way we consume media, it feels like, oh, everyone had a partner in high school. Yeah. Which is like so not true. Everyone had like a partner.

No, but like, you know what I mean? Like it does, it does feel like this thing of like, oh, so everybody's just ahead of schedule and like everybody's just been doing the thing. And like I know so many people. I have so many friends who are like, have never been in a relationship, have never had sex or like whatever. And it's like that's totally fine. Everyone's on their own path. Totally. But the way that you see in media, you're like, oh, I guess I'm fucking.

wrong. Yeah. And our timeline, too, or at least mine, can't speak for everyone, like, is shift. It's a little more delayed. And I ask a lot of my, like, hetero buddies. One was the first time you kissed a girl. And I'm into a lot of types of people. My first kiss with a girl was actually on top of a goat house on our farm. Okay. That's beautiful. Yeah. Wait, that's so romantic. Wait, that's so romantic. We were playing prince and princess. And obviously I was writing. So I wrote a kiss into the story. Wait, that's so cute. Yeah. We had to do multiple takes because, you know. Oh my God. We needed to get it right. Wait, I did that, but I was a little bit older and it was bad. Okay. Like, you shouldn't do that when you're, like, out of elementary school. You can't be like, I wrote in a scene where you kiss me. You can't do that when you're out of elementary school. At this point, I'd be like, fine, perfect. Yeah, you can't. But my first kiss with a guy was speaking of, oh, my God, a top bunk in college at Boston College in VanderSleis Hall.

And that happened when I was 19. And so, like, if my first, like, romanticist was when I was 19, then, like, and I asked my buddies, when was their first kiss with a girl. And they were, like, 13 or 12, or if they were in improv, like, 21. And so our timeline has been shifted off. And so it's nice to hear that because I feel like it just feels right for me to be ready for it now. I just turned 33. And when I turned 30, I guess, I felt a shift.

And that's awesome. I had to work a few years to just correct, you know, to rewire my behavior, especially with how addictive grinder can be and hookup apps. And so it feels right for me. But I think weighing it against what I've only seen makes me feel like I'm late. But I am, and that's fine because certain things are. Also, like, yeah, there's no, yeah. There's just no timeline.

And also just like, yeah, especially with the like, depending on who you're dating. Yeah. Like I started going on dates with women later in life. And it was like definitely a thing where I'm like, oh, I've always thought about this, but I didn't know if it was like okay. I didn't know if anyone was okay with it. And yeah, you feel really behind. You're like, oh, shit, I'm behind.

Yeah. And we all feel that. Like it's really interesting. So my mom and dad met when my mom was 33. I just turned 33 on July 13th. Oh, that's actually amazing. And mom's like, this is your year, baby. Oh, cute.

My, I have some friends that have, that are currently dating for the first time and they're in their late 20s. And I think it's a really not bad idea. Because they, they, I mean, sure there's firsts that you, you can't avoid no matter what where you're like, wait, this is what this is. Oh, fuck. Yeah. And it's like, that's going to happen to matter what. but you have so many more tools to handle shit. And you're such,

your prefrontal cortex is fully. Period. That's everything. That's literally everything. Yeah. Now, this is a quick question. Thank you, by the way. Thank you.

No, my God. I'm very excited for you to date. Also, I feel like a lot of people are going to resonate with that. Also, I think a lot of people are going to fall in love with you. Yeah, it's because like the Justin Bieber's and like the celebrities, like, when he dated Selena, it's like that was his narrative. And that's probably why it's so hard for them to break free of that. It's like, what about the time he's,

was not dating someone. It's like we're obsessed with this coupling, which makes sense because it's part of human draw in nature. But it's like, can we just chronicle someone who's fucking single? Yeah. And the point is also his music, right? Like, shouldn't it be? Isn't the point?

Like, everyone's art and what they do with their lives, not who they fucking when they are young? We need, we got to ask you. Oh, shit. Okay. We got to ask. Oh, yeah. I'm verse. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, we got to ask you. Are you versed? Here's a segment. No, we got to ask you, is this. this a crime. It is really important. Okay. Have you heard of water Somaliers? I have heard of water soms.

And is that a crime or is that fine? Ooh, that's such a good one. I love that one. Crime or fine? I think it's fine. Yeah. Like, what's, it's so like, is it fine to have a normal sum with wine or criminal? Yes. I guess my question is like, there's a difference between wines. If you're paying a crazy. But there's a difference between waters. See, there we go. So, yeah. So, so. you don't taste a difference in water. I do, but I do, but not enough to hire someone for that much money.

That's my question. Is it a crime to be like, I'm the person that you hire to come and help you guide you through your water saum experience? Oh, God. You know what? Law of supply and demand for me, it's like if this water saum has spent X amount of time becoming proficient with water differentiation, that's on them. And if people are willing to pay his ass or. her ass to be that, that's on them. And so if like if the demand is there and it's being met, then I have to rule fine. I love that. I love that. You for sure can taste. If I lined up

our well water from the farm in Northern New York with like Aquafina, you would be able to taste. No, and I definitely am one of those people that like I prefer certain like waters over other waters. Yeah. And like if there's a choice, I will be making like an arrowhead or smart water choice. I don't know if that's good or bad. And I'm a room temp boy. Oh, okay. Are you? It's better for the vocals. It's actually better for your digestion. I've heard better for you in general.

And I'm trying to get behind it, but I am incapable of it so far. I'm incapable of getting behind it so far. Thank you for your honesty. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm capable of it. Why was that so important? Are you guys like, is this like a...

No, I just need to know. Yeah. Okay, got it. I drink a lot of water. Like, moving to the desert, y'all grew up here, but I'm from the East Coast where there's water, there's moisture in the air. Right. It's dry.

Yeah, yeah. Water. Yeah. Speaking of water, is it a crime to name your child Aquaman? Um, yes, because the movie's bad. Okay. Okay. But Jason Mamoa.

Oh, you couldn't name your kid Jason Mamoa. That's fine. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, but not Aquaman. If it was like a little bit better rated on Rotten Tomatoes, I think you could. Yeah. Yeah. No, that kid's going to get bullied.

Yeah. Trisha Pettis' son is going to get absolutely bullied. Yeah. And then, um, Olivia, you put in. Wait, Trisha Paitis named her kid. Aquaman. Like this week. She was the first celebrity I ever met in Los Angeles.

Because I, she's the YouTuber, right? She's like, vivacious. Yeah. She lived in the building that I stayed in for a week with like one of my mom's good friends. And she was literally her next door neighbor. Oh, my God. And what was that like? Lovely.

She's like a really nice person. I'm sure. My mom's friend, shout out Susan. We love to do it. She's also a pretty good judge of character. And she was like, she's really nice. She's a good neighbor. That's a hustler.

Yeah. I mean, she seems fun as well. Wow. Her child is named Aquaman. So we'll see how that goes. Oh, no. Aquaman Moses. You have to think about the.

kid with that. You have to think about like in general. Like the future of your kid. Are they going to get ripped apart in school? Yes or no. And is there a nickname we can do? A, awkward, yeah, not yeah, you can't really. You call your kid man? No, aquamarine. Yeah, aquamarine. Now, that's a good name. That's a good name, honey. Okay, here's a question.

Using AI to write your wedding vows. Ooh. Is that a crime? Is that a crime? That's a crime. That's a crime. I think so. It's like I think I'm pro using AI as the tool, a tool, like a Google tool, or just informational reference tool. But like when AI eclipses intention

like human attention, which like I feel like your vows are like the epitome of that, that's a problem. I was writing a maid of honor speech and I literally just looked up on a regular non-AI website how to write a maid of honor speech.

And it was like, here are the steps. And I was like, great. And then I just wrote in my own words and just made it my thing. And everyone at this wedding was like, whoa. Yeah. They were like,

was not written by AI. I could tell. And I was like, weird, weird feedback. Yeah, a couple people were like, I can tell you wrote it yourself and not AI. So really good job. Wow, this has happened. And I was like, I was like, I was like, is what? And they were like, there are certain things where you can tell if some things. And I had no, I didn't even know it was a fucking option. Because anyway. Wedding speeches are hard. I've been to a few now. And like, we're all performers. So it's probably even without that, you would have, I'm sure, done great. Maybe. You have to like. But like, the normal person who is not used to speaking public. and crafting that. Yeah.

I support them getting help from like a chat GPT structurally, but like the content of it can't come from that computer. You got to, it's kind of come from the hard. I just didn't know that the bullet points of like, hi, I'm Olivia and thanks for coming and then go into this part, you know? You needed to know how to introduce yourself? Yeah, I was, yes, exactly. I was like, what is my name?

Please help me. Yeah. So, Olivia, do you want to? Oh, yeah. I guess my question, here's another thing. Is it criminal? Is this, is this song criminal or fine? Okay.

Is this fine? Private parts, private parts These are my private parts Nobody should see them Nobody should touch them Nobody should feel them If you touch my private parts Private parts

If you touch my private parts I will tell my mommy Or my daddy I will tell my daddy I will tell my teacher Cause these are my private parts Private parts, private parts These are my private parts

Nobody should see them Nobody should touch them Nobody should feel them This is my body And I have boundaries Okay There we go, okay What do you think about that?

Well, I think 617,000 people like it Yeah, I think the need for the song is criminal Yeah You know what's interesting though I wonder if you guys have this Yeah When, and one of my best friends is a teacher and putting song behind a lesson helps ingrain it into your memory forever. Like, I remember the Arthur theme song from when I was like, well, we didn't have cable.

So like 17. I can list the presidents. Oh, shit. Because my mom put them to the song Dianu from Passover. Wow, that is so specific. That's sick. Washington, John, and so. And so.

Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Andrew, Jackson, Martin, William, William here. That's helpful. You're coming to trivia with us next time. Exactly. So for this, I didn't know you could do that. That's so cool. Franklin Pierce. This is a really important message for kids to learn, which is don't fucking touch my private parts, especially if you're a stranger.

And so I'm going to rule fine. I'm going to rule minimal on this because I think the takeaway, it's like a little cringe and it's definitely going to be in my head for the week. Right. Well, now you'll know. The fact that it's in kids' heads and they'll remember in a situation when something's happening like that. Yep. the song will maybe be recalled and like hopefully they can start singing this or saying this. I think it's a helpful defense mechanism for very vulnerable people.

I'm going to say I love this song and I can't wait for the remix. There needs to be a beat drop. There needs to be a beat drop. I think this is a beautiful start to one of the best songs that could ever exist. She's so pretty and I like the hot air balloons in the background. I'm for this. The one note I have is that I don't know if we need nobody should feel them after nobody should touch them. I think we're kind of redundant.

I think it's redundant. I think we're kind of giving more ideas at this point. Like I think I think we got to cut it. Like nobody should touch them. We got it. Nobody should feel them. Okay, don't go into more things that people shouldn't do.

We're not going to give people more ideas of what to do. It would be curious to see it. Like I would love to talk to her if she, I mean, wrote this, which I'm sure she did. She's awesome. Maybe for some reason the feel and touch are the two words that, and this is getting dark, like that predators use the most.

Oh. For kids to be able. Oh. He's not allowed to touch me, but like the feeling, does that mean touch? Well, you know, covering all of your bases is just like, no, if they say feel or touch. A, you need to be this woman's lawyer. Yeah. Just in general.

A really interesting point. Right. Like, what is the most common, like, words used by predators? Yeah, I thought of. No, don't know that. I did not think. And so maybe those are the two that are top of list. And I don't care. I'm, I'm for this.

I just want the remix. And if you guys can make the remix, please do. Yeah, I'm going to say wildly criminal that we need things. things like this, but absolutely go you for doing it. Yeah, criminal that there's never really good to that. And absolutely thank you. Future Aquaman will thank you. Oh my God.

Aquaman one day is going to be like, let me... I know this. I know the lesson. Fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The last...

Let's do one more. Okay. Is this a crime? One last thing. Recently, we had a video that went a little bit viral on Instagram about the magic school bus. Oh, my God. I love Ms. Frisville. I love Magic School Bus. How can you not? Now our question is, there are a bunch of comments, as when things go viral on Instagram, you get like the weirdest. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Now we're going to show you the video. Oh, that's you. That's us. And then we're going to ask you, is it criminal? I will tell you what the comments are afterward. Oh, two. Remember when they get nutted on by salmon? Yes, that's what I was going to say. Yeah. Do you remember when they get on by salmon? The Magic School Bus getting nutted on by salmon?

What are we talking about? So Ms. Frizzle takes them to the bottom of the ocean because she shrinks them down and she makes them into salmon eggs. Here we are staying in salmon eggs and then they're trying to show reproduction but I think they just didn't want to show animals. They were like the salmon nut on all the salmon eggs and all the kids are like, this is awesome. I love learning.

What are we talking about? That's so crazy. And then you're going to go no way. The salmon is shaking its tail getting ready to nut. Oh my God. Is the sperm going to come out? No way. Fortunately it is.

On to the children and the eggs? And that's what I don't like. This is the... Oh, my God. The salmon is... I know, right? And then Ms. Frizzle's in the bus. Miss Frizzle's in the bus.

She's not in the eggs. Ladies. Oh, yeah, I've been there. So that's the biggest part. So here's the thing. Yeah. We post this and there are so many... I'm assuming Republicans.

Yeah, I don't know who... This is commenting things like, you two are perverted. This is a beautiful video and exactly how it should go. There are all these people being like, this is exactly what it should be. Do not hate on this. This is perfect.

And actually, how could you possibly? Some people said, how could you sexualize this? I'm like, because it's quite literally sex. It's reproduction. The thing that bothered me that I think is criminal is this misunderstanding. Of people going,

that's literally how fish reproduce. There are hundreds of comments. being like, that's literally how salmon reproduced. And I'm like, I'm not saying it's not. No, I'm not taking it like. I'm saying the kids shouldn't be in the egg. Period. I just saw a comment.

Why couldn't the kids have been in the butt? That's why I'm saying I'm in the bus. I get so upset about this because people are like, oh my God, the salmon like masquerading. They're like, does this is salmon fuck? Like, this is how salmon reproduced. I'm like, I'm not saying it's not. People are missing the point on a level that is ungodly. It's insane.

Don't bring God into this. Sorry. People are. being like, you're stupid if you think salmon fuck. I'm like, you get the point. That's exactly it. Yes. I think they do this. I don't want the kids to be underneath the sperm. Those comments are like, they're not able to see even, that's the problem

nowadays. It's like, this is actually how they reproduce. It's weird. It's weird that the kids are in the eggs, you crazy person. Life underscore Dreamer 16. It says only adults make it weird later. This is how they actually reproduce. No, it's not. Because the kids are not in the eggs. That's what we're saying. We're saying, the kids shouldn't be in the eggs. I don't care if the kids were in the bus and we saw the salmon nutting on the eggs. The kids can be on the bus.

Put the kids in the bus. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. She's in the bus. She left her lizard in the bus. Yeah. Her lizard gets in the bus.

So here's the thing. Maybe they watch from a coral reef. I'm not saying, A, that salmon don't reproduce this way. Yeah. But also, they don't reproduce this way in that there are kids in the eggs. There aren't shrunk down human kids. But there are kids in the eggs. That's correct.

They're salmon kids. So I understand. Sam unpertalized salmon kids. And so I think what's happening with these people's comments is that you saying, oh my God, this is exactly it. You saying that it's like gross for there to be kids in those eggs, which objectively, having human kids and salmon eggs getting nutted on by salmon sperm is weird.

Right? But I think there and they're like behind their screens and their whatever states are thinking that you're saying that it's unnatural to be conceiving this way. Like naturally with salmon or like with semen and an egg like, I think they're just getting caught up on the mechanics of actual reproduction. Yeah, they are. They're not able to see the fact that this is like the creative liberty here is weird. Yeah, no, the amount of comments that are literally like, they're hearing you say that like natural reproduction's bad.

Right. And then they're, and so they're defending the salmon who are going to read this and this is how it happens. It's because it is in a certain ways. Sure. Okay. This guy wrote, it's funny that you're freaking out because salmon are fish. They spawn. Females lay the eggs and males fertilize them.

I do I do hey about you, but every kindergarten to fourth grade kids. had learned about salmon reproduction in school. And then check what my reply was because I replied to this one. L.O.L. They're learning about salmon reproduction. Don't make it something it isn't. It's a science show how. I said the kids are in the eggs getting jizzed on Dana.

Sad face. That's so. That's interesting. This is interesting. It is the biggest like the issue we hear is the kids. Thank you, California. So Ms. Frizzle could have kept the kids on the bus or to your point on the coral reef and been like, and just like you, the kid or the salmon kids are in the eggs.

Yeah, love that. But you're not, so don't worry about it come. When it says, to be fair, this is how salmon reproduced. They don't have intercourse. They spawn. Yes, we know that. What are you? That's 1,500 lights.

You're missing the point. You're missing the point. What do you mean? We're not saying this isn't how salmon spawn. We're saying the kids shouldn't be in the eggs. What are you talking about? And then you've got the one gay saying, Miss Frizzle was the best teacher.

I'd let her put a school bus in my butt any day. I'm iconic. I agree. So anyway, is that criminal or not criminal? Like you guys having this take meaning? No, just like the comments. Yeah. Yeah.

Who's criminal in this? I think we are fine. I've got to say, I think the creators of the magic school bus are a little criminal. In this specific scene. They just didn't need to put the students in. the eggs. I love so many things they do. I don't think they thought that this would be a thing.

No. They didn't even know what like they don't know. They were like no one's ever going to see this. No. Yeah. But like so like the commenters are correct. You guys are correct. Yeah.

The education is correct. It's just like we're all seeing it from these different like three different vantage points. And maybe that's beautiful. Looking at the same thing being like having different opinions. And maybe yes. I'm going to say y'all are all correct. Thank you.

Everyone is right. And keep those hate comments coming. You know what? Magic School Bus. that was it's great yeah anyway thank you so much um for being here thank you for clarifying all these things for us like i don't know what we would have done i have so many more crimes that i was going to commit that i'm not going to now because of what you've done okay well i'm doing god's work if you guys want to see episodes early uncut uncensored check our patreon um and where can the people

find you in your podcast yeah the podcast is on instagram as well we don't have x-rated magic school best clips, but we have, we have, that might be a good thing. Probably smart. I don't know. It's, it's engagement. You can find us on Instagram, Petty Crimes Pod, and that'll link you to wherever you get your podcasts. Then you can find me on Instagram as well, Griff Stark Ennis, all under case and no hyphens because they don't allow for it. No, they don't. And that's criminal. That's criminal. Thanks for having me. This was super fun. Oh, my God. Thank you so much for coming. I can't know each other so long. This is so cool. Now we've known you for an hour. Yeah. I can't compare. Thank you guys so much for watching, and we will see you next Tuesday. Bye. Oh, because kind of.