Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - We Just Want Attention!

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

Syd and Olivia are human and, therefore, crave attention. In the fifth episode of Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t, the girls discuss the pros and cons to being attention whores. They also read some sexy SydLivia fan fiction that is NOT written by them I SWEAR. Listen here or watch on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/SydOliviaTube Follow the podcast on social media! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sydandolivia TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sydandoliviatalkshit Twitter: https://twitter.com/sydandolivia About Pierced: Pierced is the first creator-led podcast network that’s making podcasts for the girlies. We’re tired of every man on the face of the planet having a podcast and decided it’s time for a new era of podcasting - it’s time to give the girls the mic 🎤 Pierced podcasts features all your fav content creators in a new light. We collaborate with creators to produce podcasts that speak to the complex and unique experiences of the girls and young women of today – the podcasts we wish existed when we were younger. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With everything you have on your plate, earning your degree online seems impossible. But at Grand Canyon University, we specialize in helping you fit a master's degree in education into your busy day. Your graduation team, led by your own GCU counselor, provides you with the personal support you need to succeed. Achieve your goals with a plan and team behind you. Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University. Visit gCU.edu. Welcome to sit in Olivia Talk Shit, the big podcast for me. I'm the Sid one.

I'm the Olivia one. And if you guys are listening on Spotify or any other place where you can listen to podcasts, hello. Thank you. Thank you so much. And if you want to hop on over to YouTube to see a visual version of this podcast, you should. You can check out our YouTube.

It's just Sid and Olivia. And if you're here watching it on YouTube, hi. Hi. And check it out on Spotify. Why not? Yeah, why not? Twice so that your brain goes mad. Yeah.

It'll be good to listen to it twice so you have nightmares. Yeah. The more you listen to it, the more nightmares you have. our slogan. Anything new happened to you, Olivia? Um, I, I, uh, fell asleep on the floor last night. How about you, say? Well, I watched you fall asleep on the floor last night and I fell asleep on your couch. Okay. Okay. So there we go. So there we go. So Sid, why do we even have a podcast? Oh, I can tell you why we have a podcast. Because we like everyone else, our age, above our age, lower than our age, want attention. Oh, look at that. Would you look at that? Like the song. We just want attention.

school's on the song's heart Me too and so scone Funnui Yeah exactly Those are all lyrics That boy is a beautiful boy He is He's a very pretty boy

I love that Charlie Puth Charlie Puth Charlie Puth Charlie Puth Yeah He's a beautiful boy The thing is like

It feels shitty to say That you want attention Right It always will feel like Like cringy to say that Because you don't want to want attention No, but it's human. But also like attention is such a broad term.

Yeah, oh, totally. Like it means so many more things than I think you mean for it to. Yeah. And I think especially nowadays we live in a big, big world where, you know, like we are trained to need it on some level and you have to actively train yourself out of meeting it. You're supposed to want it. Yeah, it's like, I mean, with social media and reality shows, like I was reading this book. You read a book? No, I did it.

I was listening to it. Good for you. But I was listening to this book and the woman was saying like, we live in a world where if you're not extraordinary and publicly extraordinary. Like if you're not doing extraordinary shit in public all the time, you're worthless. And that's how we feel. And I was like, whoa. Yeah.

Yeah. Because it doesn't even matter what shit you're doing. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, good attention, bad attention. you just every extraordinary is better than ordinary no matter if it's good or bad yeah which isn't true no but it's how a lot of us feel

and you know what Olivia I was reading a book actually I didn't even listen to it oh I love that for you you used your big eyes for you I used my big eyes I looked at the words and in that book they were talking about how people undervalue mediocre moments and mediocre things

because everything all the attention is put on things that are overwhelmingly good or overwhelmingly bad. Yeah. But if we spent more time focusing on mediocre things, maybe we could just enjoy life more. Be a little bit more in the moment. Because life is just made up of mediocre things, and maybe that's not bad.

Yeah, it is really interesting because, like, I used to, when I was younger, people would be like, what's your biggest fear? And I would say mediocrity. And now I'm like, oh, probably global warming or a school shooter. Drowning? Drowning's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That'd be a bad way to go. Yeah, no, I'd be bad. but yeah but it's it's so interesting how like I would have rather had something super bad happened to me than nothing that specific or crazy well yeah that's like what it's kind of a thing too of like I feel like a long time ago it was really cool to be um the most popular person or the richest person or the most successful person and now it's kind of just cool to be the most unique person yeah so whether that is being the worst person because it's uniquely bad.

Or the most dumb because it's unique, you're unique. Or the smartest, that's unique. Or the funest, that's unique. Yeah, or if you have something horrifically wrong with you, everyone gives you attention and then everyone secretly deep down wants that kind of a thing for themselves, which is absolutely twisted. And if you ever catch yourself having one of those thoughts,

just go, it's okay, me, let's not do that anymore. Yeah. Because that's, yeah. I feel like it comes from that part of you that's still a little kid. Because when you're a little kid, you crave attention. Yeah, without even knowing that's what you want. No, when I was in middle school, I used to write, do you remember like email chains? Yeah.

And like, send this to four people or else you'll die. Or else I'll come to your house and I'll kill you. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. It was usually like, here's a big long note. Send it to four of your friends or you'll die in a big train crash. Yeah. And I would make up.

It would be such specific deaths. Yeah, it would be. And I would make a. fake ones and send it to like five of the most popular kids so that I could get messages back. Because all I wanted was attention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't even care that that was sad. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, interesting. I mean, I feel like even animals are, I mean, it's not even a human issue. No, it's an across-the-board issue. It's like not an adult or child. It's like across-the-board all living things. Like, your dog. Oh, my dog. My dog, Mousy, humps, pillows, my arm, anything. Cries, sobs for attention. She sobs for attention. She cries for attention. She will

pee on things for attention. Yeah, you just, you give her everything in the world and then she'll just sob. I give her everything in the world and it's still not good enough. It's the weirdest thing. Yeah. Because maybe there's something more natural and less shameful about wanting attention then. Maybe it's just fine. You know who, you know who loves attention? who babies yeah babies are fucking attention imagine a baby that hated attention that would be so weird no it was just like oh get away from me all the time like genuinely was like get the fuck away from me yeah just put me in my crib and leave me walk away let me feed myself yeah no definitely yeah babies will do some weird

shit for attention like laugh at nothing yeah every every adult thinks their baby every adult every parent thinks their baby can see ghosts or something because babies always look off into nothingness and cry or laugh. Yeah, maybe they're just being weird. Maybe they just want attention because they're, they're goddamn horrors. Maybe they just want attention. They don't want your heart. Maybe they just hate the thought of you as someone new.

Is that the lyrics? Yeah. You just want attention. Yep. Sorry. But here's like an extra thing that I think is really weird. Tell me. Have you ever gotten attention?

Oh, yeah. It sucks. It sucks. It like is so bad. The grass is always greener on the other side. You always want attention until you get it. And then you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, I swear to God, anytime anyone compliments me for anything or goes, I saw that thing

that you did. I'm like, I just want to, like, hide. Yeah. Like, I'm just like, oh, okay, ha ha. Like, the best I can do is like, it was fun to make. I'm sorry. And, like, I don't, like, I, I just, I'm not good at receiving attention. I hate my birthday.

Very much. You do hate your birthday. I hate my birthday. See, I like my birthday because I like celebrating anything, no matter what it is. I understand you hating your birthday. I hate my birthday because every time it comes around, if people give me attention, I feel unworthy and if people don't give me attention, I feel like, what I do wrong? See, I feel like my birthday is the only time I will completely accept attention.

Totally. Because I'll just be like, this is my birthday. Yeah. But I totally understand what you're saying. Yeah, I've given you a bunch of cards for your birthday. You have on my birthday. I think last year you gave me a birthday card that was something along the lines of like, happy Wednesday and nothing else.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just because... Regular Wednesday. I hope it's a happy one. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. Like, any time, it's like any... You know, we're making this podcast right now. And I'm like, oh my God, yeah, I friggin't want to make this podcast.

And then the second it comes out, I'm going to be like, please watch the podcast. Yeah. And then when it, when anyone responds like, oh, I saw it, I'm going to like hide. Yeah. I'm like, I have like 1,000 or 2,000 unanswered texts on my phone. Yeah, it's... That stresses me out. That, yeah, it's like this weird, like, so I guess I don't want attention.

No. What do I want? But I don't know. I don't think anyone really knows truly what they want. Yeah. But you know what I don't want. What? Um, stalkers.

I think, I'm joking. Please, uh, please edit that out. The biggest form of attention you can get is from a stalker. Is from someone who's giving you attention against your will. Yeah. Preferably a stranger. Have you ever had like a young stalker? I don't think I've had a young stalker or an old stalker.

I definitely have never had like a danger stalker. No, but you've had people who are obsessed with you. I've had people who are obsessed with me because my face is similar to my mom's face and my mom is like a type of person where people are either like, I don't really, you know, like, oh, I think I saw Bill and Ted's or they're like, oh, I'm... She's an actress from the 80s. My mom is an actress in the 80s. She was in a lot of cult things.

So like therefore people are either like, oh yeah, I've heard of that movie and like kind of are all, all, you know, doing their own thing. Yep. Or they're like, I have a sculpture of you in my basement. Well, someone is making a sculpture of your mom to give you when she dies. That is, that is true. And that's true. That's true. And there we go.

It is kind of one of those things, though, we're like, we, you know, like we have so many coworkers and friends who are people. who have just done random like things with their careers and lives. And now they have a bunch of people who are scary obsessed with them. Yeah, and they have fan fiction written about them. And you know what? I wish we did. Oh, I wish we had fan fiction. I would so wish we did. I mean, Cid and I, a little, a little backstory on some fan fiction.

Olivia and I love fan fiction. We love a good fan fiction. Specifically writing it. We love writing fan fiction about people we know in our lives. And we like giving it to them unannounced. As a surprise. And it being just way too long, like 6970-75 plus pages. Yeah, so we have done this twice so far.

I mean, we've started a third one, but we haven't given one. We're in the middle of a third. We're in the middle of a third. We started with our good friend who's an actor. We're not going to say any names because we're not going to get sued. No names. We're not getting sued. We're not going to jail.

We're not going to jail. Not today, mom and down. Not today, mom and down. Maybe next week. Maybe next day. But not today. Our good friend who's an actor. Yes.

And in the fan fiction, not in real life, the fan fiction we wrote about him without his knowledge. And then presented it to him right before a long plane ride so he'd have some light reading. Printed out as a 70-page novel in comic sans. God, I love us. He's in a like a Romeo and Juliet style relationship. In the fan fiction. In the fan fiction, not in real life. With the fictional character of Young Sheldon.

Of Young Sheldon. Because Olivia and I saw the poster for Young Sheldon once. and we thought what is that show about and so we decided to make it up on our own the the lore we have about young shelton what we made up that the show young sheldon is young sheldon is obviously a young boy genius who is possessed by the devil controlled by the devil he answers to the devil and his job is for the devil he has to have sexual intercourse with a lot of dead bodies in order to bezinga so it doesn't mean anything it doesn't mean anything but but so it's that our good friend wants to be with young

Sheldon, but he can't. And Young Sheldon wants to be with our friend, but he can't because our friend is alive. And so and young Sheldon can only be with the dead. Yeah. And so and our friend can't die. He's a blossoming acting career. So he can't die. So there's the conflict there. Now, so. And our second one was a our second one was a Christmas story. All in rhyme. And every chapter was chapter one. Yeah. Um, and our friend. Our friend. Our friend. Our friend. Our friend. Our friend. Our camp counselor. Our friend when we presented it to him, he said that's both the nicest and meanest thing

anyone's ever done for me. So, Olivia and I like to write fan fiction. If you want to write fan fiction about us, please, oh God do, we're desperate for attention. And if you guys want us to write fan fiction about you, just DM us and we'll come up with a rate. It's going to be, we're going to come up with a rate. It'll probably be like $2 per page. And we'll write it so long. We will. Yeah. So test us. Um, test us, bitch. So we looked. We scoured the internet. Because a lot of our friends and coworkers have sexual fan fiction written about them. So why can't we have sexual fan fiction about us? Why can't we have disconnected, like, incorrect sexual fan fiction?

Riddled with typos. And just incorrect information and written like how people don't talk. Written like somebody maybe doesn't know what sex is. Yeah. Why can't we have that? If you can have it. If you can have it. If you can have it, our listener, because we'll write it about you later.

Why can't we have that? No one's ever written fan fiction about us, even though we write fan fiction about everyone else. It's truly brutal. Guys, it's brutal out there. Then one night on the deep dark scary web. On the deep dark, dark web. Olivia and I scoured the web.

And we found a fan fiction about us. We found a fan fiction about us. And listen, it's not by us. We didn't write it. We didn't even write it. Yeah, we just found it. And we printed it out. We printed it out.

You're going to be able to tell. tell that we did not write it. So didn't write it. This person is the farthest from that. It's someone we've never met. Yeah. And we're going to read it for you. It's short, luckily.

It's not 70 pages. And that's how you know we did not write it. We didn't write it. It's in comic sands. We didn't write it. You would never write something in comic sands. Okay. Go for it, Olivia.

All right, sure. Well, do you want to start? Yes. Chapter 1. It was the night before Christmas and all through the house. See, I didn't write this. I'm Jewish. Yeah, you would never write this.

Not a creature was purring, not even a mouse. Ever. And this house belonged to the DeLorentis family. Olivia DeLorentis is in that family. That's a beautiful rhyme. It's gorgeous. She sat in her room waiting for Santa's old claws, and as she did wait, she thought of all she was thankful for, like, Thanksgiving.

So this is where it stops rhyming. Her boyfriend at Jake Hayes, go ahead and hit him with a follow. her friends her guinea pig dillf but most of all her best friend cid's hot hot steamy hot rumpus ooh it's getting spicy oh spicy it's somebody turn on the heat in here who wrote this or am i just turned on by my own rompice so hot and so steamy she thought of it every day steam came from the rump and i guess that's a yay i don't know who wrote this i have no idea it wasn't us though i mean it was some dark web author. Somebody else. All right. On the other side of the earth, Sydney was breaking and entering into the White House. Very factual. She was in the air vents of the Oval Office, where she had a big wet

dream while awake. What is that? A wet thaw? Um, no, it's like when you have a big wet dream, but you're awake for it. All right. About her... I get those all the time in the airfence of the White House. About her best friend's steamy hot rumpus. Her gizzard went numb with wet wet, wet lust. Just a really quick point out. I don't think people have gizzards. I think that's a bird thing, but that's okay. Strap in. This person has definitely had sex. On the other side of the earth, Olivia's rump is tingled. It was almost as if these best friends did share feeling in their rumps whenever they were aroused. What a classic thing. Okay. You know what? This is going to win a Pulitzer Prize. It's rhyming on and off.

Sid finally found the portal in the White House air vents. The portal that would lead her to Santa's big sack. Okay. So she could be delivered to her sexy friend who she wished she could touch like a lover. Sexually and not platonically ever. They have a bunch of sex tension because I said so. After all, no two girls can be friends. I know.

I, the author, have met girls. And I've never met Sid or Olivia because I am not them. Sounds like this person's not us. No, this person is, you know, I'm glad they're injecting themselves into this narrative. Yeah, yeah. That there's a first person element. Good to hear from the author about this. Olivia, in her home and in her bed, almost tore out her gizzard, which was a flame with lust.

So just to, for the audience, they both have the, I think what birds have, which is a gizzard. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's in the neck of a bird, question mark. I think it's in a bird. All right. She almost tore out her gizzard, which was a flame with lust. but she does not dare end her sweet life because she waits for her lover's sweet rumpus this night. There's a typo there. But it rhymes.

Oh, yes, it does. Knock, knock on her window. She heard a good knock. She looked at the window and saw a good rock. She looked up and saw a bunch of rocks being thrown at her window. How did these rocks make a knock, she thought. We're in Dr. Sears. I don't know what's happening.

Her ice-cold breasts steaming with icy lust, is it getting hot in here or is it just, I mean. She picked up one of the rocks which laid on her floor. Glass was everywhere because the windows were broken by the rocks. The rock had a message on it. Olivia read it aloud to no one. Open your door and let me in, or I'll absolutely go apeshit on your garden, said the rock.

Olivia knew who it had to be. She walked barefoot to her door, her gizzard growing just a bit more. She looked out at the snowy front yard. Ooh, I like that it's snowing outside of my house. Of course you live in the greater Los Angeles area. It was Santa Claus, that lusty demon, standing with a big fistful of rocks. I'm trying to kill you with these rocks, said Santa Claus. At least he's up front.

Because you are not as hot as your mother, 80s actress Diane Franklin, who was my first crush in the 80s. I am Santa Claus and I was born in the 80s. I just want to clarify, Olivia wrote that line. Not me. I mean, I mean, someone on the internet was not me wrote that. Yeah, no, of course not. You never wrote any part of me. No, I didn't write any word. Olivia felt relieved knowing that when she was a child, she was struck by lightning and was now immortal. Santa did not know this, but she did. Before I end your life, I brought you a sweet, sultry suprife. Wait, I really did mean right surprise.

You did. Someone else went in and changed it to surprise, so it rhymed. God, who knew? I had an editor this whole time. Santa reached into his sack to pull out a gift, but instead he grabbed tits. Fuck me. But instead, he grabbed Cid's left tit. Oh no, shouted Santa, a girl from the gross list.

What are you doing deep in my sack? I was just about to give Olivia a PS4. Perfect. Olivia's heart jumped out of her lust. As she saw the young beautiful Sydney, her guzzard, sorry, one more time. Her gizzard inflamed with desire and her head absolutely crushed from the plane ride over. Her only gift in this life. Santa uses a plane to get places.

We needed to know that. Sydney's rock hard face and rock hard arms will. went harder. They went harder. She pulled out a vial of her enemy's tears and chugged them to extend her life a thousand more years. I like that we both have different types of cosmology about us being immortal. We're both immortal and you should all know this. Yeah, in any fan fiction anyone writes about us, please make sure we're immortal. Like, I don't care how sexy it gets, but make me immortal. Olivia, I am the king of the birds. It is why I have this shiny gizzard of mine. And I want you to be my queen because you also have a gizzard just as lusty and crusty as mine, said Sid,

who was definitely on something. That's beautiful. Olivia's breasts grew so long and hard that they covered her face. That's what breasts do. Olivia threw her gunk at the wall, colon, it was starting. What is her gung? I don't know. I didn't write it. I didn't write it either, so what is her gunk? Santa Claus, who is usually just there to kill people with rocks, got big horny because, whoa.

These two girls were about to get it on. Since Gizzard warmed, it was warm. Her palm sweat, her vagina ran away. She was ready for full-on intercourse in public today. Olivia pulled an intergalactic space gun out of her rumpus and pointed it at Santa Claus. Take notes, she said. He pulled a typewriter out of his plane and did the thing people do in court where they like type everything out that's happening. Sid shot her sperm out of her eyes.

It got stuck in Olivia's teeth just where it belonged. Their breasts were too cold and started freezing into ice cubes. Perfect for a nice drink, but not perfect for the hot, warm steam coming out of their rumpuses. Finally, after all this time being friends, we can melt each other's breasts with the rump steam and the gizzard. And that is the tale of how both girls got pregnant. Twins, one from each girl. and these twins would grow up to continue the cycle, and one would celebrate Christmas,

and one would break into the White House, and the circle of life continues. God is dead, but I am as alive as ever. Me, the author. That's beautiful. Wow, whoever wrote that is severely talented. We want to think our fans. We have such big fans who must have written that for us.

Whoever wrote that on the dark web, first off, we only know a couple things about you. A, you're alive. Yeah. or not us. Yeah. So just, good job. Truly, I, of course someone else wrote that.

Once again, if anyone wants us to write fan fiction for your friends, you tweet at us. The most upsetting birthday present in the world. Tweet at us at Sid and Olivia, say, I need you guys to write fan fiction about my friend. You give us some basic information. We will absolutely get it done for you. It'll be so upsetting. Now, yeah.

I feel like our egos are pretty pumped up, right? We just gave ourselves so much attention. My ego is just shooting through the roof. the sperm that shoots out of my eyes. Yeah, my ego is rock hard like the ice cubes that are my breasts. Now, we know everything about sex. Yeah. And that person clearly does too.

Yeah. Well, they wrote pretty accurate. So accurate. But I feel like we need to take it down a notch. I feel like we need what's called an ego cool down. We need an ego cool down. We've pumped ourselves up with all of this sexy, sexual fan fiction. All of this sexual nonsense.

It's made me so horny. And now I feel like so good about myself. and it's time to cut that down a little bit. I'm going to do an ego cool down. I can't feel so sexy. So it's time for... We have notes. This time we have notes about each other.

These are notes on Sid and Olivia from Sid and Olivia. So Sid has some notes on me, some things I could improve, some unasked for notes. And Olivia has some notes on me, Sid. Some things I have not asked for, but definitely can improve on. All right. You want to start? Yep. I will start.

Olivia, my first note for you is you order clams in all the wrong places. This is really accurate. And let me tell you a little something about. Let's get a little bit into that. Let me tell you a little something about Olivia Dolanthus. I've known Olivia DeLeranis for years and years and years. And we'll go to like a fancy restaurant in like Santa Monica. Yeah. And it's right by the ocean.

And it's an Italian place. And I'll go, Olivia, they have Linguini Vangela, your favorite dish, which is Linguini with clams. Linguini with clams in a white wine sauce. And she'll say, no, I want to get a Caesar salad. Or something stupid like that. But then we'll be at a gas station on a mountain. And she'll say, oh, they have linguine bungal here.

I'm going to order some fresh clams for me. And I'll say, Olivia, look around. Is there an ocean nearby? And she'll go, and I'm like, don't do this. This is like the type of place you buy like hot ones or dip in dots, but not clams. and she'll always be like, I'm going to get clams. And it'll always come out looking like cat food. Yeah.

And she'll eat it. Yeah. And then I'll... And then she'll throw up later. I will be drunk usually. So the problem, the biggest problem at the root of all of this is that I'm sober when I'm in nice places. And then I go, well, I want to eat something healthy.

But I'm drunk when I'm in bad places. And then I go, I want the clams. Right. But it did, you know, I've had clams at Rocko's, the bar, the nighttime bar. Yeah. She's had, she's had clams in the mountains, at a, in the mountains, at a bar in Culver City at like, just really places you should not get clams. I got, I got clams at Rockos and then threatened to vomit them all over our friend Jonathan's chest if he kept talking to me. So that's that. That's my first, that's my first note. Okay, um, my first note actually was

already brought up in this episode and I, I can't even believe it because I didn't even expect that. Oh, my first note for Sydney is she has a manipulative dog. Oh, I do. It's not really a note on her as much as it's a note on her dog, but I can't really give her dog notes because she doesn't speak English. Yeah, there's a language barrier there. So, yeah, Sid has a manipulative dog, and that was my note. Yeah, my dog does this kind of thing where she gets everything she wants

because she can make noises that sound awful. Yeah, just truly horrible, which could be a thing. we start trying. Yeah. Like we could probably go to the bank and like ask for money by going like, oh, let's try that. And you'd be like, hey, we stop it and we won't until they give us money.

But that's how Mousie, my dog does it. She makes awful sounds and I go, fine, you can have a cake. I don't care. All right. Second note. My second note for Olivia Doolerantis, the Britta goes in the fridge. The Britta goes in the fridge.

Now let me explain something to you about Olivia Dillard. She's, as I say this, the Britta's all. on a coffee table. Let me explain something to you about Olivia De LaRantis. I've never seen a person before put a Britta, meaning like a water pitcher, in a cabinet. It is not where it goes. It doesn't go in the pantry.

You don't put your water in the pantry. You don't. You put it in the fridge. And once I said, Olivia, why did you put your Brita in the pantry? And she's like, eh, no, it fits there. What? That's fucking sociopath. That is a sociopath move.

Yeah, it's hard because I want it in the fridge. It's not hard. It's quite simply the easiest thing you could do is put it in the fridge. I want it in the fridge. And then you come over to my place and you take the Brit out and you'll like leave it in the bathroom or like somewhere where a water pitcher should never be. I'm trying to get it to fill up but it takes a long time and then I forget. It's insane. It is a sociopath move. I have never seen somebody put water in a cabinet and I have so many notes on it. Yeah, yeah. No, that's valid. Those are completely valid. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. I want cold water anyway. I know.

I don't like room temperature. I don't either. Put it in the fridge. It's so simple. It's so simple. It's so simple. All right. Oh, okay, here's another really basic note on Sid.

Here we go. Her metabolism is too fast. Specifically, her metabolism is too fast for me. Because Sid loves to eat a bunch of foods that are really, that are objectively bad for you. It's true. Like she loves pasta. loves bread. She loves cheeses. Notchos. Notchos. All the different foods that are not good for you, but so good. And I want them,

but if I eat them, my thyroid will shut my body off. I have no discipline. You have discipline. I don't have it. But as of right now, you don't need it, which is good. I do. I do. I did gain seven pounds last week, but I'm ignoring it. I'm ignoring it. So seven pounds weird. Oh, who? Oopsie doopsie for me. I don't care. So, I mean, it's kind of like a good for you. You look happy and healthy.

I love it. I can't even do it. I like try and I was like, Olivia, today, okay, so today we brought on a local Gen Z. Her name is Olivia. She knows two Olivia Rodrigo songs. Yeah. Oh my God.

It is definitely one of those things where I know that I'm going to start having to, um, like get into the zone of being an adult and like making things. for myself that are not unhealthy, but I just freaking love unhealthy food so much. She's the king of pasta, and I love that. Like, I actually think I have like a real life problem with pasta because I have to have it at least like four or five times a week. I'm not even kidding. Yeah, yeah. That's not an exaggeration.

And if I have pasta like once a week, like, it's just like, oh, I have to undo that for the rest of the week. Yeah. Which if, yeah, that's not good. No. But also I don't think that's true. Maybe it's just my brain sucking too. I think you just think that's true.

but I think that you'd be able to eat pasta many a time. We'll find out. Maybe I'll try it for a week. Yeah. And you know what? Pasta good, it just makes your stomach feel awful. I'll just go to the mountains and get some pasta and clams. Yeah.

That's the thing is that another thing is I definitely, I definitely shouldn't eat as many shitty foods as I do because my stomach hates me. But it's so good. Sorry. Okay. Olivia. Yeah. Here's a note.

Okay. Your voicemails need to be cut in half. Okay. Wow, that's so true. Let me tell you guys a little something about my good friend Olivia De Laurentis, who I've known for years and years. Olivia talks faster than any human being I've ever met my entire life. But she's also very smart, and she can gauge how much time a voicemail should take.

So she'll take up that much time that a voicemail should take by saying the same thing over and over and over and over really fast until she gets to that time limit. I get to the main point within like three seconds, and then I'm like, this is supposed to be 15 seconds. For example, Olivia will call a doctor, and she'll leave a voicemail being like, Hi, this is Olivia De Laurentis. I'm just calling the doctor because I need to go to the doctor, and this is Olivia De Laurentis, and I am calling because I have to get to the doctor.

I hope you're having an amazing day, and I need the doctor because I have a big rash, and it's Olivia with my big, big rash. So I'll call you back, and you can call me back. It's Olivia De Laurentis, if I didn't say that already, and you're the doctor. Okay, I have a rash, and then hang up. That's completely accurate. that's like completely what I do. It's like you get three points. Yeah, so many different times. So many different so many different collections of words. Yeah and they're all to tell you the same thing. I like to the

point where you really get it once you've listened to the whole thing but you could you could hang up like right away and still get it. You're like yeah yeah I got it. Yeah I mean that's a really these notes are really valid. Yeah I love this we should do this more. You should each other. Meener. My friend Rod always wants to play a game where he's like let's play a game that's called a compliment sandwich. And I'm like, no, I don't want to play it. No, I know what this is going to be. Because it's always like he gives you a compliment, then tells you something you need to improve on, then gives you another compliment. But the thing you need to improve on feels like it's something that he's been meaning to say for a long time. Well, yeah, I couldn't find

an opportunity to tell you to tell you. That sounds like, pitching that game sounds like he wants to just tell you to improve on something. So it'll be like, Sid, you have beautiful blue eyes. No, that doesn't count. Now, here's the thing. I don't feel like you're always genuine when you're listening to me and I'm talking. Maybe you need to listen a little harder to the things that I say. And anyway, you make a killer burrito. It's like so bad. So clearly one thing he wants to get across. Yeah, it's awful. I hate it so much and he loves it because he loves an organized activity. Well, I mean, I love loving an organized activity, but I would pick a different one. Me too. All right, here's my last note on Sid, which, yeah, I mean, I also just feel a zeitgeisty.

Okay. She always thinks everyone hates her. Sad face. It's a sad face for me because everyone loves you. I don't know if that's true. Everyone loves you. It is true. I do have this thing and I'm sure it's very common.

Every like three or four hours. Yeah. I have this thing where I always am like, whoever I'm with, I'll just get the feeling of do they not like me anymore? Yeah. And it doesn't matter who it is. It can be a relative. It can be anyone.

Yeah. And I'm just like, I should probably leave. They're probably tired. of me. And I always think everyone I'm not interacting with hates me. Yeah, which is different. I'm always like, oh, the people who I haven't interacted with in a second, they probably hate me. I believe that they probably hate me too. But you know, I believe they probably hate you. I don't think it's kind of like a normal human thing to just assume that whoever you're talking to is like, maybe it's not normal. Especially, well, here's the thing. I would say coming back to this

world of wanting attention. Yeah. Like, it's kind of that thing of like if you're not given constant reassurance, you start to go like, oh, but you have to train yourself out of that, which is the thing I'm going to try to do. You've got to be aware of it first, then train yourself out of it. And then you're a free. It's like that, it's like that, like, herd mentality of, like, I want to do this thing so that my whole herd likes me and wants to make sure that I can hunt with them and gather with them. Gather with your herd. But it has kind of crossed over to the point where And now it's just like, I'm on Instagram. Does anyone think I'm fun?

Yeah, and it's interesting because like I feel also like the more people, the more I've felt in my life I've cared what people thought, the less people have thought of me. And the more I've been like, I don't give a fuck. There'll be like one or two people who are like, I really don't like this girl. But like most people are like, that's fun. Yeah. And that shouldn't even be the reason that I want to do it.

But it is like kind of this ironic weird thing where like you can sense when someone's like, But please God. Right. And it's an interesting thing where it's like, for me, I literally just want like all of my friends to always want to hang out. Yeah, that's valid. And I think that's just not how life works. I mean, I think that's how it should.

But yeah, I want all my friends to constantly be like, let's all buy a big house and live together. And that's just not the world. No, but, but you know, but that's not a terrible want. No, I think that'd be so fun. That's a fun one. I just like the people that I like.

I think they're great and I want to be surrounded by them. So what do you say? Do you want to move? into a house together? Yeah. Are you sure? Well, I live, I, well, you live with your boyfriend. I do. I'm going to get you a contract for a house. Okay. You're going to sign it. Do you want to, you could move into our refrigerator. I'll definitely move into your refrigerator. You guys have in-unit laundry, so I'll be here. You could move into the laundry. Oh yeah, I'll move into the laundry. Laundry. Okay, guys, we have a call to action for you guys. And this is going to make no sense and it's

going to be so off topic. It's really important, okay? During the break, at some point, you know, our mics do shut off sometimes and we have a couple seconds to talk and today we had a conversation and we really need to tell you about it. We need you guys to go to Post Malone's social media. Go to his Instagram. Go to his Twitter. Go to whatever he has. Spam the rapper Post Malone. Because we were talking about how Post Malone really needs an album called Home Malone. Home Malone. Home Malone. And the cover is him going like this but he's post Malone. And what she's doing if you can't see is she's doing the Home Malone pose. You know, grabbing both sides of your face and being surprised. it would have been perfect as if he had done that during quarantine.

Home Malone. Home Malone. And he needs to put out an album called Home Malone. And if he doesn't, we're going to yell. He's already laid on it and I'm freaking out. And anyway, please spam post Malone and tell him that he has to make an album called Home Malone. This has nothing to do with anything, but it is important to us. So that's your call to action for today.

And your other call to action is make sure you're following us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. TikTok. We're at Sid and Olivia. Everywhere. All of the above. We're on YouTube at Sid and Olivia. you might be watching that here. And yeah, and guys, like, if you want us to write fan fiction about you,

you just let us know, because you just want attention. We need to learn those lyrics. Yeah. But at least you know some Olivia Rodrigo lyrics. Yeah, I know some. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, it's good for me. Oh, you seem happy and happy.

Oh, fucking yeah. Yeah, I did that. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Oh, fuck me. Now don't. Tempe, don't. That's what we were just reading about.

Make sure that you come back to watch the next episode or listen to the next episode. Hell yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching. Or listening. Or listening. To Sid and Olivia talk shit. I'm Olivia. I'm Sid.

And we'll see you guys next time. Goodbye. Thank you.