Syd & Olivia Talk Sh*t - WE'RE JOINING CULTS!

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

The hilarious and 1/2 of a set of twins, DYLAN ADLER joins us for a talk about celebrities doing twin-face, cults we would 100% join, and Love Is Blind! Listen to the show on the go! Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2j0iQxY9Pf0h4mXEOFxgmk?si=a95ba3e2a2844ec4 Chapters 00:20 | Our Guest Dylan Adler! 01:20 | Dylan's Gay Trip 02:53 | Dylan's Twin Toks 04:35 | Hollywood Has A Twin Face Problem 06:50 | We Need More Twin-presentation 08:42 | Coming Out To His Twin 11:49 | Speed Bonding with Dylan 13:20 | Wetting The Bed 14:50 | Is This A Universal Experience 19:30 | Your Phone Is Listening 22:40 | Build A Cult! 33:20 | Love Is Blind 36:11 | Dylan's Aversion To Pants 38:40 | Straight Guy Confessionals Bonus content on Syd & Olivia's Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/syd_and_olivia This is a 7equis Network Show Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I can carry so much more. It can be so heavy what I can carry. As long as I am counting to four over and over again. What do you want us to say to this? Welcome back. Welcome to the big bad podcast for you. Oh, it's so bad. It's so big.

This is Sid and Olivia Talk shit. I'm the Sid one. I'm the Olivia one. And together we're... Hopefully that took more than 60 seconds before you said shit because we are not supposed to curse in the first 60 seconds. A thing we keep fucking up. Yeah.

Today we have an extremely important guest. Yeah, we're very excited. We're having a somatic event in our bodies right now. Yeah, I can't breathe. Yeah, my lungs are frozen and my legs are gone. And I have a rash all over my butt up. This is Dylan. Honored to be here.

I hope I'm providing an internal family system experience for you are. Do you love giving us a rash right now? Absolutely. I love somatic experience. and inner child work. How are you? Thank you for coming on. Oh my God.

Thank you for having me. I'm fresh off of a gay trip to Puerto Vyartagic. Okay, that's so fun. Again, thank you so much for specifying that it was a gay trip. I'm happy to let you know because it wasn't restful. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Okay, okay, yeah. What were your top five not restful experiences from your trip?

Oh, I would say the gays in the house. Yep, yeah. But love them. Oh, so fun. Just not restful. Not restful. We're not saying it's bad. We're just saying it's not restful.

I would say another thing, the ATVing. Yeah. Not restful. Not at all. I would say getting sunburned everywhere. Harts to rest. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Number five, I would say the clubs and then number four of the clubs, number five, the bathhouse. Okay. Yes, does not sound restful. Sounds very fun, but not restful. Yeah.

I love a restless bathhouse. Yeah. I was wondering when you said that the concept of like, you said I took a, I just came back from a gay vacation. Mm-hmm. I think the concept of coming back from a restless straight vacation is really unsettled. Oh, honey, that's just an Arizona bachelorette. Yeah, I'm like picturing what a restless straight vacation is and it's exactly that. It's like a, it's like a we got a house in Arizona.

Everybody come, but don't bring any boys. It's only girls. Yeah. And we're going to take photos shoots. And we're going to do photo shoots all day. That actually sounds like a gay vacation. I think we borrowed a bachelor's culture in a way. There's overlap.

There's overlap. And isn't that beautiful? You know what's so crazy? Yeah. We've never met you in real life. Yeah. That's insane. I know.

Isn't that crazy? In fact, it's shocking. But I've admired you guys from afar. Oh, we've admired you from afar. So I'm happy to be. I, um, the amount of times I've just had on my phone on a loop, like one of your guys's twins talking at the same time videos, like about the things. Oh, my gosh.

and stuff, like, on a loop to an amount where it's like, okay, stop watching the video now is like actually so much. No, no, no, no. No, it's all me. We love them so much. If you haven't seen these videos, maybe we can put one in here. Yeah, it's really fucking funny. Just because we're both gay twins doesn't mean we will do a three-way. Yes, we both may be on rider, but that is not an invitation for a three-way.

Heart the Herald, no freeway, Herald, we see the way you're looking at us Herald. We are at a family function. How does our mom even know you, Harold? No. Nets Chelsea's Deuce is Latin for no freeway. But you are a twin. Yeah. Yeah, we recently had a hot take on twins.

Our hot take, and listen, we're not that experience with twins. we're thinking maybe our fear might be coming from a lack of knowledge. And most fears do. And most fear and prejudice does. Fears and crushes come from a lack of knowledge. Yeah, lack of information 100%. A crush is just a lack of information. It's true.

We were saying we're talking a lot of shit about twins. Our take is just that by adulthood, one of them should probably eat the other one. We just feel like twinhood should be a thing for childhood. By adulthood, you can't be a twin. Maybe one of me could see other. But we also just, I guess, would like to learn more about what that's like. Because we've never met a twin. Do you want to explain yourself?

Let me, I honestly, I hear you guys. And I want to say there's been a history of misrepresentation. Lindsay Lohan playing a twin role who is not a twin. That's appropriation. It is. That's twin face. Oh my God, it's twin face. So, you know, it was.

Should we bleep that? I think we should. I think we should keep it because, you know, I think, you know, like, you know, Scarlett Johansson. It's like, you know, Emma Stone, love you, Emma Stone, but you know, a tone for your mistake. And Mary, oh, no, Mary Kate and Ashley did the opposite. They are twins. They did. But they're playing one girl.

What is the opposite of a twin? A single. A single person. A single person. A single person. They appropriated single person. They appropriated single personhood. Which is single egg culture.

Single egg culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, isn't, aren't identical twins, they come from a single egg? Identical twins come from a single egg. So me and my brother are identical, one egg we split. Right, great, right. Mary Kate and Ashley. But then you came two eggs.

Yes. Oh, okay. Mary Kate and Ashley, you would think identical fraternal. Isn't that plain? I saw that the other day. It's true. Oh, I'm losing my shit. It's wild.

Oh, I lost my shit, too. That's crazy. That's insane. Wild. Who are twins that you and your twin look up to? Oh, well, we have always looked up to T. and Tamira. Of course, of course, of course.

Of course. This is this. Ew. That's an excellent show. So good. The pilot is gold. It's one of the best pilots, I think. It's one of the best pilots.

It's just physical comedy to a tea. We love, you know, Zach and we love Dylan and Gold Sprout. Clearly not that much. I just, you know. We saw one of them in front of a sushi restaurant. And he looked upset. He looked upset. Oh, well.

So check in on. I'm okay, everyone. Make sure he's okay, whichever one it was that we saw. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So most of the twins you look up to were child twins. So yes, that's what I'm saying is like there's not enough twin presentation as adults. So we need more. We need more twin presentations. So that people like us are afraid of it. And Tamir, we have. It's just like a lack of, you know, seeing. It's like a lack of. So there's not enough. And that's why I'm writing a pilot about me and my fat.

quit. Tune in hopefully to some streamer. Is that what it's called? Yeah. It's beautiful. That's so beautiful. So, yeah, that's amazing. When do you guys...

What kind of shenanigans do you guys get into in your adult, adult show? What kind of adult twin shenanigans do you get into? Twin shenanigans are so childish that I want to know what you do as adults. Because we can't, like, switch places in class or do that fun of shit. Yeah, but you can switch places at work. We could switch places at the DMV, your work, which is something else. You could commit identity fraud. We could commit identity fraud.

It's like real-life twins. There's so many stories. I think you need to be in the writer's room for this. I really do. I really do. I'm immediately excited. When did you and your brother find out you were twins? That's a great question.

Okay, that's a good question because I thought it was, I thought it was like, everyone, twins is like, whatever. I thought it was cooler. We were brothers. I'm like, not only are we twins. We're brothers Great That was the cool thing So like when people

I learned From Q's like as a five year old Or six year old I don't know That it's like That people thought it was like Ooh this is interesting This is something

I'm like but we're brothers Right but guys Have you even thought about We're brothers Yeah So that was kind of the That was when we learned That it was something

Like kind of unique Yeah that's beautiful And then you and your twin are both gay? Both gay. And when did you discover that both of you together? So basically sophomore year of high, junior year of high school, a friend of ours had come out as trans and we were, you know, driving home. Like that was so brave of her. We're admiring. And so then I mentioned to my brother, I'm like, honestly, most porn I watch as of guys. And he was like, well, same.

So that was it. That's so funny. That's so good. I love, I, that's such a beautiful experience. Yeah. So were you both the first. people you came out to. Why, yeah. And you just didn't have the same time. You're like, let's just do this. Exactly. I love that so much.

Yeah. That's a beautiful experience. Yes. No, I felt very fortunate that I had him to come out with as a duo afterwards to everyone else. Yeah. It was like, yeah. I guess did you guys come out as a duo?

A little bit. Yeah. You were like, we're gay. We're gay. That's amazing. I'm obsessed with that. I know. So it was at least the thing of like, well, if you don't like one of us, you don't like

both of us. So that was nice That's so good What did it a lovely comforting thing To have somebody else to hold your hand I know like let's both get this out of the way Exactly exactly that's nice Yeah you're changing my take on twins

Like really really aggressively If I could change one person's mind with my pilot No I mean that's I guess my other question about twins And this one's hard but like if as adults Oh yeah If one of you were to eat the other one, who would it be, and why? Because our thought was like a lot of twins eat each other in the womb. For sure.

But we kind of wanted to normalize eating each other outside of the womb. Yeah, not that you have to, but if you were going to, who would eat who? And why do you think it would be? Okay, that's a really good question. This might come from a bias, but I'm hungrier. So I would eat him. I've always had a bigger appetite. He's a vegetarian.

Right. That's all those are good reasons. And I just think he is less to offer society. I think I will eat him if it comes down to it. Oh, you will. You will? Oh, that's beautiful.

Changing it from the end of the pilot. I will. At the end of season one, okay. Oh, the end of season one is you eat him. Absolutely. Yeah, but that's okay because like you can always, he can always come back out for the second season. And that's what we're saying like we're like ending the stigma by I'm eating him and

then I'm going to give birth to him. Give birth to him. That's so fucking great. I love that so much. What does he do? That's right. He does obo. He plays obo.

for the Tucson Symphony orchestra. Okay, my little brother plays orchestral bass for a bunch of Midwestern orchestras. Wait, that's amazing. Yeah, okay, I love the orchestra brother moment. I love that. So then you guys are both like in the arts. Yes, yes.

So I know, we're like fortunate that our parents were like, yes, like it's okay if you pursue, you know, artistic endeavors. That's so cool. Yeah. I love that. Sounds like very cool. Fucking some cool stuff. Well, here's the thing.

Sounds like your child who'd had a couple of thumbs ups in it. Like maybe probably some other things that were bad Because everyone's childhood is But that sounds like a good family That sounds like a good family Now because we don't We've never met you We've never met you outside of it

Yeah, of course We sometimes do something called speed bonding Where because we've known each other For half of our life Yeah like 15 years, it's scary So it's time for you to catch up Does that make sense? Of course, I want to catch up

So we're going to ask you a bunch of questions really fast Yeah, intrusive Yeah And you just answer them as fast as possible or you can say pass. Okay, great. Okay. So this is speed bonding. Are you ready?

Got the music! Got some music! Are you ready to be bonded? Yeah, I'm ready to get bonded. One, two, three. If you could change one core personality trait, what would it be? People please, ring. Oh, what is your deepest regret?

Oh, being a music composition major. What makes you truly happy? Oh, the beach. What is one thing you would change about the world? Oh, pollution. Who do you trust completely? Oprah. When was the last time you felt lost?

Oh, yesterday. What is an absolute relationship deal breaker for you? Oh, doesn't like my comedy. Nice, that's smart. If you could participate in one historical event, what would it be? Oh, where Buddha was. Okay. What is your biggest best green flag?

Oh, likes my comedy. That's your green. What do you, what, what do you, about you? I like my comedy and that's it. Oh, okay, about me. The question was open-ended. Okay, good, good loves to eat. Okay, love that.

What do you think about when you're alone? Oh, um, sex. Ooh. What is the secret about yourself you've never shared with anyone? Oh, my God. Um, I get, oh, um, I, bedwetter. Yay! Oh, yay!

Wait, current bedwetter? Sometimes. Okay, absolutely. Let's normalize it. Well, no, I was a bedwetter. Me and my brother were bedwetters until we were like two. Did you guys have like bunk beds? Yeah, we do everything together.

That's beautiful. Okay, well, I love that. Did you share a bed? No, we had bunk beds. Oh, okay. But then we had like two beds until like 16. And then I'm like, I've had enough of this bullshit. I'm moving into the, my mom's office.

So you got your own room. Did you wet that office or now? Why, yes, I did. So the office was wet. But we stopped when we were like 17 right before college. That's good. That's a good time. Thank you.

That's a good time. Right before the deadline. Yeah, right. You know what? It's fine. Everyone's moving at their own pace. As long as you kind of get it in before the deadline, you're fine. Yeah.

Would you, on the nights that one of you would wet your bed, would you check to see if the other one did it on the same night? Well, we would sometimes, well, we were, as kids, we would definitely wet the, it was a miracle. It was a miracle if we were dry. Let's put it that way. I love a dry miracle. If we were dry on the same day, that was cool. it was like, whoa. If we were both dry, it's like we're getting a cake.

Okay, I love that. Yeah. Being dry is not all it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Right, ladies? That's incredible. That's really good.

We have a segment we do here sometimes called chat. Is that a universal experience? Play the music. Stop the music. I have one of these. That's why I wanted to bring it up. And if you guys have any universal experiences, you want to pitch or ask, you can. I'm going to ask mine first.

Is this a universal experience? Every time you open an elevator door, every time you're waiting for an elevator and the elevator door is about to open, you think on some level there is going to be a person with a gun standing in the elevator, pointing it at you, and when the door's open, they're going to shoot you. Is that a universal experience? Elements, yes. Yeah.

I will say not to the level. Right. But just to the level of like someone's there. Yeah. Yeah. That someone's just in the elevator. Yeah. Yeah.

That's way chiller. Yeah. I'm just trying to be supportive. No, I love that. I appreciate it. Oh, yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. When I'm in front of the elevator, I do believe that somebody's going to walk into me. You don't think they have a gun, though, waiting for you? No. Okay. I think they have a gun and they're waiting for me.

When I get out of the shower or they're waiting for anyone. I'm like someone's waiting with a gun. Yes. Yes. Yes. To get out of the shower. Yes. Yes.

Yes. For sure. And it's not someone who lives in this house. No, of course not. It's someone from the outside. No. No, it's always someone who's like in the elevator going down. They're like, I am going to shoot the first person that opens this fucking door.

And it's always me. And it's never happened yet. So we have time. You know what I just pictured? What? Have you seen those compilations of Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie going to Big's door? And she always does it in another kind of stupid way. where she's like,

Hum, candy striper here. Does anybody want candy? And if he opened the door and shot her. It's just every time she saw. Yeah. Okay, in a convalation, she's fine in the next scene.

Here's another one. Yeah, of course. Is this a universal experience? I can carry so much more. It can be so heavy what I can carry. As long as I am counting to four over and over again, What do you want us to say to this? I don't know.

These are all things that I was doing in the last week and I was like, I do this all the time. I wonder if anyone else does this. So it's truly just the game. I'm just playing the game. You can say no. You know, not to me, but I think that is useful. It was great for evacuation. When I was evacuating, boy, was it easier.

It was really useful. You know what I think it made maybe? And maybe this is making it too logical. Right. But maybe you're distracting yourself from how, comfortable it is. There's a world. Because I think that's universal. I think that definitely is the reasoning behind it. I think as long as I'm like one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, one, do you like that kind of, yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's, it's like, it's a little, it's a little scary.

But yeah, a little scary, but good coping mechanism. Yeah, I can carry really heavy shit. I'm very strong. So that's good news. If anyone ever needs anything carried. That's what's up. Do you guys have any questions about what's a universal experience? Do you have anything that strikes you? That happens to you. I have one. That's beautiful. It's this, I think it's universal.

Okay. And I think we're all kind of lying to ourselves about the fact that cum quots aren't cool. They're never a sleigh. You have them. It's so sour. It's like a warthead. It is sour. You're never blown away by a cumquot.

Everyone has a cumquot tree, but it's like, are you ever craving a cumquot? Like, is this, am I crazy? No, I actually understand. Everyone does have a cumquot tree. Everyone has a cumquot tree. I don't know who anyone who has a cumcoat tree. I couldn't list them off my head, but I've been in many like a random person's house where they're like, oh, yeah, there's a cumquot tree in the background. Comquot tree.

I've never had a cumquots. Very sour. Very sour. It is a wordhead. Okay. Yeah. I believe you. And I wouldn't say cum quots are a sleigh because I have never had one.

That's proving that. I would say that like I agree with you, but I would have never thought of it. Okay. Yes. But I do think there is something universal to it. Thank you. Yeah. And if you're a really pro-comquots, come for us in the comments.

No, please attack me. Please attack us. Come for us. Come for us. Yeah, the cum quad hive is vicious. They're vicious. Yeah. This isn't necessarily part of this segment at all.

Yeah. Play the music. That's amusing. But there is something I wanted to ask you guys. Yeah. I thought about it in the car. Okay, lovely. I was like, what?

I think this is a very telling thing. Okay. And I think it might be a good icebreaker for like if you like meet someone new. Okay. What is the thing your phone is always advertising to you because you talk about it too much? Your phone is listening to you. Okay. For me, it's commercials like, did you know you could get your prep for free?

It's Gia Gunn the Drive Free. She's like, absolutely. Is that because you're talking about prep a lot in real life? Or just because it's like whatever, it's like gay, gay, gay, gay. It can hear you and it's like, you in Porta Viarda. Oh, I think so. Oh, wow. And I'm like, you can get your prep for free.

Yeah, that's what I get. Well, not recently, but there was a while there where I only got crow shit. Crow shit. I only got things like Amazon would be like, you sure you don't want this crow mask? Right. I'd be like on like a website. I'd be on a website and they'd be like, you could get all this weird crow shit. Or like, you could get this t-shirt with a crow on it.

It's like, I'm with crow. I know exactly what period of time that was. Yeah. That's how scary that. What were you talking about pros? I think we were looking for Renfaire costumes. We were talking about Renaissance fair stuff and we wanted to be crows. Yeah.

But I think I said the word crow so much. So many times. So many times. We get it. You're the crow bitch. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want?

What do you want? What are yours? I feel like you have some weird ones. I was going to say minor. I'm trying to figure out one that's not going to make everyone sad. Red light machines. I don't know. Oh, that's like, yeah.

For me, like, I'll late night search shit. And I think that impacts my, like, algorithm more than anything. And I think, like, I get given a lot of, like, red light therapy masks and, like, just things that you, when you're, like, PMS in the middle of the night and you're like, whatever, these self-care things I can spend money on. And that's the least depressing one I have. I will say like a late night search is a very true search. Yeah. Absolutely. A Google search done past one in the morning.

100% is very true. Yeah. Very to the point. A lot of it is like with this weight loss program and so that's like what's not good. Right. It's actually only that. To clarify, that's bad. Just to clarify everyone, that is bad.

Don't buy it. Yes. Or I get weird posture. exercises. It's like take my course on making your posture better. Oh, other techniques though. Yeah, and it's like women just going like this and how does that make you posture better? I don't know. I'm not making the ad. Wow. Well, we share a YouTube account and an email address. Yeah. Yes. So sometimes I'll see the things that you Google or you'll see the things that I Google and we'll screenshot to each other

being like, what the fuck? Yeah. What the fuck is happening right now? Like are you, what is wrong with you right now. We're on right now. Yeah. That's so good. Okay. Let's do a quick segment. Yeah.

We're calling this build a cult. Yeah. This is a segment called build a cult, which we just said. Music. Okay. So obviously, listen, cults are fascinating. Sid and I have been in our cult bag. We've been watching a lot of cult documentaries.

We've been culting it up. Oh, yeah. The thing I think that's so interesting about cults is that so often the people joining the cults are not like necessarily crazy wackadoody people. They're usually like really smart, empathetic, connected, like educated people a lot of the time. And so it's like, why are they joining these? But then, you know, that's like the same reason people get into psychologically abusive relationships. It's the exact same thing.

So if you don't understand psychological abuse, watch the NXAM documentary. But the thing is like, none of us would be really. necessarily above potentially getting sucked into a cult. But the question is, what's the thing that would draw you in? Yeah, what is the cult offering that would get you? So if you could imagine the cult that would finally get you to be like, yeah, let me put my whole life aside. Yeah.

And let me join this. What would it be? Okay. I, and I always feel like cults are, it's that thing that fills that thing in your life that you feel is lacking. That's right. For me, I just, you know. You know, L.A., I love L.A., but it's a sleepy town.

And one of my favorite things to do is at night go dancing. Yeah. So if there was a cult, that was like a bunch of gays were going dancing, and you have to dance every night. Yeah. Every night you have to dance. Kind of like living in an L.A. model house. Yeah, yeah. Kind of it.

Yeah. Okay, okay, go ahead. I would join it. I'm like, I just love, especially on the weekends, if it's mandatory to. go out and dance. Especially if it's mandatory. If it's mandatory, I would join it. Can you picture who the cult leader is? Yeah, who's the leader of the we have to go dancing cult? Maybe Cody Rigsby or trying to think who I love. Who else would be the cult leader to that? You know, someone like that. Yeah. Yeah. Someone who really make a really charismatic. Really charismatic could

lead a great dance. Yeah. And the question, like, so you get drawn. in with the dancing, right? Yeah. But obviously every cult has like a dark underbelly of what it's actually doing. Oh, yeah. What is the cult actually doing and what is it like exploiting in you that's like, ooh, that's the dark secret of the cult. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah. Like the act two of the cults are in or the end of act one. Yeah. Maybe. Oh, man. I think the dark side of the dancing cult might be the, um, we'd have. It's like a pyramid scheme for, you know, selling meth. Yeah, yeah.

Well, because you get methed out and then you dance more. I would say meth. It's a meth. It's a meth ring. It's a meth ring. If we're being honest. And how do we think the cult eventually self-implodes? Oh.

Because that always happens. Yeah. I think there would probably be, there would definitely be drama and issues with leadership and funds would be misallocated. And I think some people might, you know, not get enough food. So I think that's what would happen. Oh, right. Right.

Right. Some people might not get enough food. Some people might not get enough food. I mean, they wouldn't, if they're on meth, they wouldn't be that hungry. No, that's what I'm saying. It wouldn't be that hungry. And also, nothing rips a cult apart more than like a meth stabbing on the dance floor. I would say so.

Murder on the duns floor. Yeah. And that's what everyone does. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that's a beautiful cult. Thank you. I think you should join.

I actually think you should start that. I think you should start it. I would. Along with your pilot. Those are the two things you have. to leave here and do the cult and the pilot. I'm trying to change hearts. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you have a cult that you think you'd join? Yes. What could they do to get you to join? I thought about this. I was like, what's the thing I'm craving that I don't get? And I thought like a simple artsy life. Right.

Like a simple life where you're doing craft. Yes. And then I thought like, who do I want to be surrounded by? Right. And the answer is old people. Oh. So if you don't know this about me, anyone who likes me is 80 above. Like, anyone I get along with really, really well is 80 above.

It's like always that. It is an old lady whisper for sure. I'm an old lady whisper, especially if it's an old lady with an accent. That woman and I are leaving the Trader Joe's together. 100%. Like, this is just my demographic. Yeah. So I feel like my cult is actually just an old folks home.

Okay. Because there are scheduled activities and crafts. You're getting your meals spaced out. You have, like, nurses to help you change your diapy. I think this is perfect for me. Wow. And I think that I would actually really thrive in an old folks home. And I'd be like, yeah, I can totally join this call.

I will be with you guys. This is all good. That's really good. Wow. Yeah. And then I think the underbelly is, if you're doing crafts all day, I think it's like a forced labor thing. Right, right. Where they're selling the crafts and they have to keep, you have to keep making the crafts and all these old people are like, oh, my fingers.

Yeah. Keep going. Yeah. That is dark underbelly. And all that cute shit you see at farmers markets, that's actually exploited. It is. It's from all the exploited elderly workers. And also, can we talk about how fucked up it is that they don't give a fuck about the STIs?

And so you in this situation probably have so many STIs as well. Wow. Yeah. Because STIs are rampant in old folks homes. That's true. And you know what? I'm giving them. And you're giving them out.

You came in loaded up with them. How does it collapse, Sydney? How does the cult collapse? Obviously, we're going to get a lot of death. That's fair. The cult could just die out. That's a circle of life. Who's the leader?

Probably my grandma. Okay. So it's a traitor. old person. It's not like a person running an old folks home for sick. It's like another old person being a traitor. Yeah. Do I want to make my grandma the traitor? Yeah, she can be a traitor. She's fine. Okay, I'll be

fine. She'll have so much run. This is not real anyway. Plus, she would be the one that would convince you to join. Yeah. If my grandma was like, let's go live in this house filled with old people, I'd be like, oh, fuck yeah, I'm there for sure. Yeah. But yeah, I think it's like a beautiful, wonderful old lady who is like

the head of it and she's like just like, she's like, I survived two wars you guys can make another macaroni necklace. Yes. And I'm like, got it. Yeah. We can do that. Yeah.

And then. That's some agonical vibe. Yes. And I, and I think it probably, yeah, it probably falls apart from a bunch of deaths. And then like at some point, maybe we just all die off from our rampant STIs. Yeah. That's beautiful. It is beautiful.

Yeah. That's so beautiful. And there's so much crossover. Okay. So mine has to end that way too. Now we know. Yeah. So what's yours?

The thing I think. I think I would fall for is I get starving for, and I know this is really bad and this is really like you would join a cult. I get starving, I think sometimes to be identified as something. Like even just getting like diagnosed with stuff, I'm like, well, how do I explain what's wrong up here? To be labeled. I love to be labeled to an extent where I have to watch out. Like I have to, I have to like watch out for myself to not like overly self-label. Not to be this person. but I do think that is an extension of just wanting to be seen by someone. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's fair. And like perceived. And also like wanting to understand myself too. Like wanting to be like there are things that happen in my brain and I'm like, what the fuck? And like it would be so nice if someone could just tell me what to research like so that I could understand it.

Yeah. I totally get that. And instead of just like, oh, block it out, don't think about it. So I think if there was a cult where someone took away your access to social media. Because I would love that. Like you are not allowed to have your phone. and you had to be in nature, you had to be around animals,

and then there was some sort of like, and you have to do these tests, and then it tells you what your chakra has the, the um, and your wit stars, your skin is made up. Like, whatever it is, I'd probably,

if I was in a bad enough place, I'd, like, I'd probably be, especially if there were mentors, like, if, like, anyone I ever thought was cool, like, if Eric Andre was running the call or something, and he was like, we're doing hallucinogenic drugs to figure out who we,

are. I'd be like, that's what we're doing for the rest of my life. And that's bad. So I, you know, but like, but that's probably what it would be. It would probably be something with like drugs and animals and nature and no phone and people telling me how to feel about myself. And then what's the dark underbell? I mean, everything I just said. Everything I just said. Yeah. That's the thing is that there's not like the front is probably where farm, no phone, um, spirituality. And then the dark side is like that they're definitely stealing some of the people. are you know they're definitely stealing them

it's it feels like a real cult yeah it is yeah yeah yeah there is something so like there are so many different cults that have like a test yeah a like a thing that's like can you pass yeah like the Scientology Thayton levels thing like if it was something like

like I bet even though I've never done the Scientology test or whatever like I just love a test and I am I'm the person who takes every quiz online and then even if at the end it goes like, give us your email and we'll give you the answers. I won't give them my email because I'm mad, but I like taking the test. It's like I like putting things in my shopping cart online, but not necessarily buying that. Yeah, that makes sense. So I don't know. And then yeah, I would self-imploit. Yeah. And then how does

the cult fall apart? I probably just all the STIs. Yes. Oh, yeah. And then I think everyone gets arrested. Everyone gets arrested who's still alive. And no one's dying from the STIs, I think. They are becoming very inflamed in the genital. Yeah. But it's, it hurt. I think people are having a grumpier time because they're so inflamed. And that's when things start to go downhill when everyone's kind of like, yeah, infighting once again. Yeah.

Okay, well, we should definitely join those cults. Yeah, it sounds like these are things we need to start like today. Drugs farm. That's mine. Or Woods Farm. No, drugs. Well, I also, I'm not like a big drugs guy. I just think if I were to leave my life, I probably wouldn't want to be in the state.

I'm in where I'm like, I miss my family, you know? And if someone's like, here, take some weed, I'd be like, fuck yeah. Absolutely. It's just weed. It's just, I was kind of just picturing weed. You're like, the strongest judge. I'm just getting, I'm just getting high at a farm. Like hanging out.

Yeah, yeah. It's just weed. Yeah. Yeah. I'm having like a glass of white wine talking to a llama. I'm so fucked up. No. Yeah.

I have a question for you, Bo. Okay. I know your answer. Okay. Have you seen love is blind? Yeah. I have seen the. first season.

Okay. Not this season, though. So this season, Olivia and I were doing something that we, it was not our idea. We found it. No, we found it on TikTok. We completely plagiarized it. Where our group of friends got together and we put a blanket over the TV so that we couldn't see the contestants on Love is Blind.

So we basically got to see them for the first time when they saw each other for the first time. Yes. We took off the blanket when they reveal them out. That's good. Now, the thing that's, first off, it was really fun. What made it hard was you didn't know anyone's names because he says it on the lower third and you can't see the lower third. Yeah. So that was hard. It was hard. But Olivia took some really good notes. I took really extensive notes. On the characters. Do you want to see them? Yeah, of course.

Okay. Wow. And we'll just read some of the highlights because. Wow. So yeah, some notes that Olivia took to keep up with who these characters were. Olivia, you want to read some. Virginia hot dancer. Doctor looks young, girly girl. Used to be in a girl's group. But you couldn't see her. But she said she was like, everyone says I look young, so I just wrote it down. Oh, oh, yeah. We've got Dave, do she bad to women, works in plastic surgery, dead parents, trying to be better, wants to be domed by Molly, illiterate, can't read. Thinks FTP tattoo is party girl vibes. FTP meaning fuck the patriarchy. Oh.

Is party girl vibes. Oh. Has his address tattooed on his thigh, has a list. Lauren makes him go just like the movies and wants matching tattoos. doesn't know where ass is, doesn't get, Lauren, has a sex playlist, drug dealer probably, cheated on his ex, also likes Taylor. Yeah, that's all one person. That's all one guy. Okay, then we've got this girl. Then we've got Meg, white, spray tan. These are all things she said. White, I can tell for her voice. White, spray tan, flight attendant believes natural disasters are superior beings messing with us like ants. The pyramids, Joe Rogan, ghosts. Her parents think she is going to hell and always bring it up. She's always really sad that her parents think she's going to hell. name Margaret loves being called baby girl but thinks calling someone daddy is weird wants to make a fort.

She wants to make a fort. Taylor. Yeah, Taylor lost her voice, feels this weird desire to go through the wall. Christmas is her favorite holiday. Her dad is named Daniel. They constantly are saying this thing where it's like, I wish I could just get through this wall and hug you. And Olivia wrote it down each time has this crazy desire to get to the wall. It's like these crazy bitches want to burst the wall over. Did you like my notes? Yeah, no, they were perfect. When I started watching, seeing the people, it was very helpful. Yeah, because I, no, I looked them all up and I was like, the fuck, because they all look the same. Wait, really quickly, this has nothing to do with this, but that's just kind of how this goes.

Oh, yeah. One of our friends who is friends with you and we won't expose who they are. Oh, yeah. Told us a little information about you. What? It's that you have never been on stage with pants on. Well, that's true. And we want to know why.

Well, okay, I just love the summer. It sounds so basic. I just, I don't know. I mean, like, I, well, okay, so the thing is, like, in comedy, at least when I started, there was, like, this whole thing of, like, no one will respect you if you wear shorts. Like, wear pants, we're pants. And then I was like, all right, I'll wear pants. But then, like, once I started performing, I'm like, no, I want to, like, wear shorts.

You're like, I don't care. Whatever. And so I would just wear short shorts all the time. And I kind of really doubled down on that. I love that. And then I think I'm realizing, I'm like, maybe pants are. fine, but I really went hard on those shorts. I'll tell you what, I have a little bit of a pathological fear of pants.

I have a little bit of an aversion to pants. And if you'll notice the skirt, I'm always wearing a skirt or dress. I'm feeling the shorts for you. You also have very nice legs. Yeah. When this was first brought up, it was brought up as a and he has great legs. Yes. That was tacked on.

Because I was like, does he have great legs? And he was like, yeah, of course he has great legs. Yeah. And then we were like, well, maybe that's just the reason. Yeah. You have great legs. So let's see them. This is a segment called Let's see Dylan Adler's legs.

Cut music. That was beautiful. Wow. Thank you so much. Beautiful. That was so good. Thank you. But I always like as a kid, I just hated pants, love shorts.

I hate pants. I hate pants. I don't like how they feel at all. Me neither. I just love the sun. I like the freedom. There's a sensory issue I have. It's like too tight and too much on it.

I feel constricted. I do. I feel constricted. I feel like I can't stop thinking about it when I'm wearing it. So I just, I just wanted to. to offer that solidarity. Thank you.

Oh, did you want to show the clip of love is blind? I think pants are fine. Yes, you look, you fucking look great in pants. I'll just post-spoken person over pants. I think pants are just fine. We bought pants, shorts, skirts. But like, you know, pants are good. And everything's good when you think about it.

Some things really aren't good, Sydney. Like what? Like more. Okay. You're right. Have you seen The Hunger Games? Oh, wait. Have you seen long-games?

Have you guys heard of this brand new thing called The Hunger Games? Or is not good. Yes, going back to Love is Blind for truly two seconds. Which is going to out for almost as long as the Hunger Games. Truly, there has been no through line here. And that's okay. That's what the whole podcast is. I was watching Love is Blind, and there's this moment that I thought was really

kind of representative of like male friendships. And I kind of wanted to get your guys' take on it. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's having a really tough time, and this is how his friend comforts him. Let's watch it. My own feelings. It's like I feel like it actually might work.

And then that actually caused a lot of other issues for me outside of just here with my sister and stuff. Wow. That was beautiful. If you can't see it, it's a guy who is talking about his strained relationship with his sister. And his friend decides to step in and pat him on the back while flossing. But like, flossing really big. Yeah, he's, like, doing a weird thing with his teeth, and then he kind of just gives him a little... He's putting 75% of his energy into whatever he's doing with his teeth.

And then he gives, like, the 25% backtap. Oh, my God. Have you ever been comforted in that way, or do you, are you surrounded by people more comfortable with their emotions? I'm surrounded by, you know, girlies, you know, gays, you know, trans non-binary, friends, so we all do internal family systems, inner child work. So that's crazy to me. Yeah, that's crazy to me. That's crazy to me.

Yeah, that is crazy. I would never reveal something also so vulnerable to a straight guy. Yeah, that's fair. You're not going to hold my feelings. You're not going to remember this. You're not going to remember this. It's really funny of like a confession. It's like the idea of like you can admit really, really deep dark stuff.

stuff to straight guys because they're not going to remember it. Oh my God, exactly. Like going into a confession booth being like, you know, there's like something really bad happening to me. I did something really bad. It's like, oh, wow. It's about to die. Oh, that's, oh, that's, it is.

It's exactly like that. Wait, should we start that as a monetizable business? I know so many straight guys. Yeah, I think so. It's like if you, yeah, if you just get a confessional booth. Yeah, from the Catholic church. You can tell anything you want. You can say anything.

It's like. He's just in there flossing. He's just flossing. And he's not going to remember any. And then, like, eventually a hand comes through the thing and goes, like, and smacks you. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful.

And it's, and, like, by the end, they just go, like, what do you look like? Yeah. What are you wearing right now? Are you in a volleyball miniskirt? Are you, like, kind of a party girl? Yeah. Like, I just told you about, like, all my family trounce. Yeah, you go, like, I accidentally hit someone with my car 20 years ago, and I got so afraid that I

fled the scene. And they're like, okay, and you're like, a party girl? Could I lift you up if I tried? Yeah. Would you get off my shoulders at a concert? Yeah. I think that's beautiful. I think it's a really good idea.

You guys, I think we need to go on Shark Tank. Okay. Amazing. I'm so excited to go on Shark Tank. All we need to do is bring a bunch of street tank. That's our product. It's just a bunch of street guys in like a portable booth. Yeah.

Really cheap. Probably could get like a pop-up tanning booth on Amazon. Yeah. I think we can do this really easily. Dylan, you're a fantastic person. Yeah. You're a very, very funny, very smart, very entertaining, lovely, lovely person. And we would love to know how these how these MFers can find you if you're doing anything.

Yes. Any shows for him? Yes. Okay. I love it. You can follow me on Instagram at Dylan Adler underscore TikTok at Dylan Adler 7 or Twitter at Dylan Adler 6. Ooh. Okay.

So I love variety. But I'm doing a show May 6 in L.A. at UCB. Got to see it. Yeah. You got to see it. guys you gotta go you gotta go so exciting is that your roommates show

that oh and then I do a show at Elysian every Tuesday in the skunk room so if you're available on a Tuesday just pop on up I mean that's the weekly show and truly if you haven't seen the gay twin content there's nothing better

there's truly nothing better the funniest thing on the internet yeah check it out it's like 90% of the thoughts going on in my head at all times Oh, and also, if you are not a patron on our Patreon, make sure you go and subscribe there. We've got a bunch of really silly things, including we're going to be having a really fun,

Dear Sid and Olivia video posted that's going to be answering your question. You guys asked us a bunch of questions on Patreon. We're going to answer all of them and post it right now. Right now. So if you want any of that or if you want to play me in words with friends, go follow our Patreon. And if you want to see episodes early, Patreon. Uncut, early and uncensored.

No, it's cut. It's cut. You'll see some nipples. Uncut, uncensored, full of nipples, all nipples. Watch us replace our facial features with nipples on the Patreon. Episodes come out early. Until next time we end every episode with a freeze frame. See you next Tuesday.