Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - Josh Widdicombe

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

In a first ever for the podcast, this week both mum & I managed to forget to cook…Fortunately our guest Josh Widdicombe was actually stuck on a train during a tube strike and we had time to get it all sorted. When Josh finally made it to my house, we covered everything from how 'The Last Leg' was formed, his thoughts on school events, WhatsApp groups, eating his parents famous ‘Hippy Stew’, spicy food and how it’s his role at home to keep a tight control on the fridge! We also heard all about how he put together his brand new comedy tour ‘Not My Cup of Tea’ which is on the road until May 2026. It sounds brilliant, you don’t want to miss it! Thank you Josh for schlepping up from Devon, we loved having you join us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Tablemanors. I'm Jessie Ware and, well, we've had our first situation in how many years? Seven years. Eight years. Yeah, this has never happened before. It's called poor communication, darling. Or too much communication that, like, communication fatigue. You thought I was cooking. We're in your house. Yeah, we're doing the recordings here this week. so I kind of thought that you were cooking the main. What made you think that? Because you sent me a recipe and I went, oh yeah, that looks good, you should do that.

Do you know what would have been a good idea? You say, so you're doing the main, mum? I just thought you were. Because I thought I was doing two desserts this week. So anyway. So I arrived. Yeah. Relaxed.

Yeah. Not cooked anything because you'd done the dessert as well. Mm. And you said, what did you say? I said you've made a kind of soup, haven't you, mum? Oh, I said. No, I've not made anything. Luckily for us, there's a big tube strike and our guest is late.

So it was panic stations, but luckily we have excellent listeners and chefs in the room. So we all, I saw that I bought some really nice corsets the other day and I hadn't used them yet. And it was very much a fridge raid and a quick trip to the local shops. It was a team effort. So I decided on, you can't go wrong with bold bean beans. So I have a jar of those butter beans. So it's a butter bean with schmaltzy corgettes. I put a bit of vinegar to bring a bit of tang to it.

But then also I put some cream in. So anyway, it's nice. And with some dill and oregano. And then I'm going to put some goat's cheese on the top. And then I've done Anna Jones. I did it for somebody on this podcast. and I can't remember who. It's the wedge salad in that brilliant cookbook of hers Easy Wins.

And I've done that wedge salad where she does it with a Greek yogurt, tahini, chives and dill. And then these breadcrumbs with pitted olives. And I had some green olives in the fridge. So it's very much, my husband's going to be thrilled. It's incredibly sustainable. And then for pudding, my husband is the king of the crumble. But we have really beautiful fruit trees in our garden, which, sometimes it makes it smell like a brewery out there. And we've had so many that we haven't

known what to do with it. So Sam this summer has made it his mission to find the ones without maggots in. Because we've had a better year this year. So we've got loads of apples. So he had already done some apples. But to my dismay, he was like, babe, I'm going to make it now. So sweet. Thank you so much, Sam. He'd left. skins on. He always does. I hate it. He always does. I want to put this to the listener. Who wants a skin of apple in their crumble? Anyone? I don't think it matters, to be honest. I think it's not sheep. I wouldn't do it. It's not gourmet. I've tasted his and I think it's all right. Well, he thinks it's good for your like, fiber, whatever. But I didn't think Josh Whitacom necessarily needed that fiber today.

I don't know. I have loads of fiber. He's a vegetarian. Anyway, so I try to. to pull a load of the skin off, but there probably is going to be a bit of skin in there. And then we had some damsons from the last month that were in the freezer, so I've put them in. So we've got a damson and apple crumble and he's done the crumble top. But I

kind of have just texted him saying, can you just do a bit more crumble top? So yeah. I'm sure it's going to be delicious. With some Hargandas vanilla ice cream. And create. Yeah. Perfect. Job done. Let's talk about who we've got on the podcast. Well, I'm very excited about him because I've admired him

for so long. He is on the last leg and probably one of the most popular podcasts you can imagine. Parenting Hell. Parenting Hell, which started during COVID. He's actually coming to us from whilst being on tour. It's a humongous tour, not my cup of tea. He's doing everywhere, I think until like May 2006. Josh Whitacom coming up on tape miners. Josh Whitakum, you are here. I'm here at last. I'd call that a schlep. A schlep.

I know. I left London. London? I quit London. Oh, okay. Last Wednesday. Forever. Forever.

Forever. Well, not maybe forever. You never know what will happen. And that was East London, wasn't it? That was East London. This is southeast. And then we've brought you back to this hell. Well, no, I was already coming back.

But... Do you know what? In the cab, I was thinking I've made the right decision. Oh, you're feeling a bit smart. today? No, not smug. No, because the train from Exeter was, the first one was cancelled. So we've got to take that. Okay. Got to take that. Which one is it? Great Western. Great Western. It's so fucking great. Well, tell me, let me tell you about Great Western. Yeah, let's do

this. Uh, they said they don't do sparkling water anymore. Why? And then, get this, get this. So get this. I was, I had a first class ticket, but I sat in an economy. Why? Because there was, it was full in first. class. Okay. And the woman came past and she was like, I had to have a couple of sparkling water. She said we've only got still. Did you say I was meant to be in first? No, I didn't. Okay, you didn't. But then later on I was like, I'm going to get a tea from first for free. Yeah. And what was in there? What could I see about it? What? Sparkling waters.

Did you get her name? No, but I got a sparkling water. Two of them. Two of them. But why didn't you sit in first? So I had the option. between, well, I don't know. You've bought the first class ticket, then you're sitting in a conical. The first class ones were full enough that I'd have had to sit next to someone else and I'd rather sit with two to myself.

Would you? Yeah, I would like the service. Would you? Yeah, the sparkling water. She likes the chat. I like the sparkling water. She likes the chat. That's why I don't like to sit with people.

Do you find that people are like, oh, Josh, let's have a laugh. And then you feel you'll have to enter it. I've got headphones in very quickly. Got it. Yeah. Do you not do that? No.

No. I don't like ear pods. You put ear pods in. Air pods, yeah. But Jessie virtually wears them all the time even when she's with me. So she doesn't have to communicate. Josh, have you actually eaten? No, because I was...

Okay. I had a banana. Okay, so can I explain what happened? Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. It's kind of okay because now I have to say sorry to you. So...

Thankfully. Mum comes in Yeah And I say so mum You're making that soup right And she went Oh no No you're making

You're making dinner And I said no I'm not No I've made something But it's been a bit of a situation Of trying to find something In my house Yeah But I think it will be okay

Okay It's like we're having It's like a little bit like It's the invention The invention test Okay Here's the ingredients This has never happened on the podcast.

Okay, great. And I was prepared to get a takeaway, but thank God we didn't do that because that would have been called. So who did do it? I made it. Jesse's very fendentic. I didn't help at talk. No, Lenny just sat there and went, no, darling, no. You didn't do anything.

So we do have a meal for you. Okay, great. And I think it's going to be nice. I'm looking forward to it. You're vegetarian, aren't you? How long have you been veggie? I'm going to go get it. My whole life.

Oh, you were brought up. Have you got veggie parents? I've got veggie parents. Did they have veggie parents? No. Is it genetic? It's not true. Stop one.

You know, you pissed them off. I know I don't care. No, but I'm not. I just wondered. So I'm not. So you've never tasted meat. Yeah, I have mistakenly or various situations. I won't say mistakenly ate a steak subway.

Like I picked up the wrong one. Oh my God. Did you like it? Well, I was so drunk. that I didn't really notice. I was in Brazil and it was like 3am and we got given the two and I picked up the wrong one. And then I was at the end I was like, I didn't order cheese sauce because I just thought it was some kind of fake meat patty. Do you know what I mean?

And are your children veggies? No. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So who cooks the meat for them? Oh, I could, my wife probably. Yeah. But I wouldn't roast a chicken.

Is she vegetarian? No, but she's kind of, she's, uh, veggie by default. And now you've moved down, back, down to Devon? Yeah. Is it like countryside and you're going to keep chickens and go? Oh, okay. Yeah, so it's a cool place to live. It's quite nice, actually.

Yeah. I met a man this morning. He was a hacker. What, like a computer hacker? Was he like Johnny Lee Miller? The one that did Marks and Spencer's over, maybe. No, he'd kill him. He was a hacker.

and then he became, like, kosher. He became kosher. He works for Amazon now. So, because they employ hacking skills. I'm sorry, he's got hacking skills. When you managed to have this conversation

when you had your air pods in? In Starbucks at Exeter's St. David Station. But like, when the train was delayed? Yeah. How did he introduce himself? He was a dad at my daughter's. He's a dad at the school my daughter's just gone to. And he came over to me.

and he was like, oh, you're at the coffee morning. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I was like, I'd been keeping my head down at the coffee morning. Have you? I didn't want to go to the coffee morning. But you've got to commune with people. I know, do I have to? Yeah, they...

You know what I think? I think you make a really big effort at the beginning and then you can pull back. Do you know, there's been no WhatsApp group so far? What? Yeah. Your wife is on them. No, you've probably been excluded because they know you're not keen. And you won't get invited to the cheese and wine party.

I'm fine with that. Yeah. And you won't be manning the bar as Jesse did. Did you man the bar? Yeah, and got drunk. Joe Brown told me to get involved. Oh, you're at Joe Brand school. No, no, I'm not.

But she was on the podcast years ago. Oh. And she just said, get involved. And then people would be less interested. I got involved at the last school. I did the cake stall in summer. Did you? Yeah, because the year before I did coconut shine, it was a fucking nightmare.

Yeah. It would be. It was awful. Yeah. It was blazing sun. Yeah. There was kids lying that they paid to do the coconut shy when they hadn't. You're basically having to referee children.

And talk about their moral standing when they're lying. Well, right? So you've got a bucket of coins next, like tokens. And then when you turn to the coconut shy, they're like, I've already put mine in. You're like, what can you do? You can't call them out. Well, you could. Well, you could.

But what if they have? Why if they have? But didn't your daughter point out, oh, he's a liar. Don't trust him, Dad. Well, she was nowhere near the conclusion. She's going to be near me, does she? I want to know, you were a sports writer first. Ish.

Ish. Because I never saw your byline in the Guardian. No, I never made it into... I never made it into print. Oh, you never made it into print. What does that... So where did you make it? The website.

Oh, you did the Guardian online. Yeah. So I was there when they combined them. And what was your primary sport? Well, I got that From Manchester Having done linguistics Oh, here we go

Someone's done a research Here we go, I'm very excited about this Oh God, I don't know, wow That looks great That looks great It's definitely vegetarian That's great And it's seasonal

So we can all feel good And then we've also got To remind you of East London And Anna Jones Wedge salad I thought he said Alid Jones That's been

We're walking Is it's all right London? It's from Wales, darling. Anna Jones, yeah, I remember her well. Her daughter or son went to my, the same nursery as, yes. And then, yeah, and then we've just got some bread.

So it's going to be like a bit kind of like, Perfect. Yeah, is this right? Okay, this is great. And then we've got crumble for food. Okay, great. So which particular sport for you? Not really, I like football,

and I thought I liked cricket. So you did cover Denny's sport? Well, I got there. I kind of stumbled into the job. Yeah. I wasn't intending to do it, really. I was just stumbling around trying to find a career. Help yourself.

And you know it had been called The Manchester Guardian. Of course it did. But it had moved to London. Such a shame. And then I got a job before that on children's magazines. Oh, wow. Which ones? Door the Explorer.

Door and the Explorer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I moved to London. I wanted a job. And I wanted to be a writer of some sort. And that job came up as like an editorial assistant on those magazines. Who published them? John Brown publishing.

Okay. And they did all the children's magazines. So they did Mr. Bean. I did a bit of work on Mr. Bean, a bit of work on Angelina Ballerina. Oh, Angelina Ballerina, Jesse. It's impressive, isn't it? Yeah. That is lovely.

That is so nice. Delicious. Worth the journey. So do you kind of tell jokes at dinner parties? No, I don't go to dinner parties. This is it for me. No, we don't, we've got text groups. It's heavily WhatsApp-based friendships.

Do you tell new jokes and test out jokes? No. No, you never try material. Okay. No. Like, semi? No. Would you?

Is it like, do you ever sit? Oh, is it just a really, like, depressing what's that group? No, it's not. No, but you'd like, semi? Like, do you want to know what most things that are going around? And I'd be interested whether the musicians have the same. Yeah. 90% of stuff on comedians' WhatsApp groups is screen grabs.

Yeah. Social media of other comedians that you don't respect. Oh, that's so terrible. You're shit talking about other people. Yeah. And liking the demise of certain. No, not the demise, just like. That was shit.

No, not like. So like, not their TV. be, no, not, it's like people who are putting bad comedy on Instagram. Look at this. Oh, you're like, you're like, kind of, you're like the pitchfork. You're like a pitchfork. No, no, we're not. We're just, come on, tell me that you're not, it's just, it's just bitching.

It's just bitching. It's what the same as every office. Actually, you're not bitching. So, Josh, just start thinking about what your last supper would be. Yep, fine. But, just want to paint a picture of your child. childhood and food memories. You grew up in Devon.

Don't more, yeah. Who was around the dinner table? And what's a really memorable dish? So me and my mum and my dad. Mm-hmm. But then my grand, my mum's mum, lived in the other half of the house. Oh, nice.

You see, Jesse? Yeah. Oh, no. I looked that way. I looked that way when I said it. I've offered you the basement. You don't want it. I'm going to a basement.

I'm going in a penthouse. house. So we moved to Devham when I was three and a half and my grand had a house in Ealing, West London. Yeah. And she sold that to move down with us. That kind of paid for us to move down there. And then she got half the house and we got half the house. Yeah.

So Granny lived on the other wing on the other side. Other side. Other side. Other home. And was she a good cook? So, no, she would. No. Oh. She was a retired actress or actor.

She sounds bad. Yeah, she was. She was incredible. She was kind of obsessed with, still obsessed with her figure and stuff. So she'd eat lean cuisine ready meals. Oh, my God. Which I don't know if you can still get them. But they were like, you haven't heard that for a very long long.

No, I know. Have you ever had a lean cuisine? No. But you would like, you did every diet, though. I've done every diet. But not lean cuisine. No. You do lean cuisine.

I think they were just bad, low calorie ready meals. But they also very small. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So she wouldn't, we'd eat separately to her. Right. We wouldn't all sit down with four lean cuisines.

No. But my parents were vegetarian. They were still our old hippies. And so we were having like organics and whole foods before it was fashionable. Mm-hmm. Or, but on an age when you don't want to be that kid. Because also, you're not like, this is the coming thing, guys, hold on. Because you'll all be eating brown flour before you know it.

You'll all be home breaking your, you know, brown bread or tofu. I was eating tofu way before. So, Totnes must have been Zanado for you. It was close to Totnes. So my dad's currently still, he runs a stool on Totnes market. Does he? Selling. Antique tools.

Oh. Oh, wow. Yeah. So you were growing up on lots of whole foods and beans, a bit like something like this, maybe. Yeah, so you'd be like tofu, potatoes, greens, or dahl. Mm. Oh. Not fam?

I love it. Did your friends like the food? Hippy stew is one of the things. Hippy stew. Hippie stew. Is that another thing? No, that is a thing. That's not dull?

That's not dull. What's a hippie stew? Oh, feel so exciting. What's the hippie stew? Is it like a ratatooie? No, it's just veg in a stew. Really, it's just veg. It's just greeny brownie veg.

So there's no Finder's crispy pancakes for you? No, no. Do you know what? I don't think I've ever had a Finder's crispy pancake. So that was what we were having for dinner. If it was a party or birthday, a celebration, what was that celebrating? Yeah, there wasn't a hard. hard, like, so I was having sweets and chocolate and still stuff.

It wasn't like a, you don't have that. But it was like, this is what's dinner. Did you have pat lunch? Yeah, I did have pat lunch. So what was your pat lunch then? Was it like just a cheese sandwich? So it would be the sandwich would be, this was at primary school. Secondary school, I got a pound for lunch, which felt just incredible.

So primary school sandwich, which was made with the bread my dad had baked. Thank you. Oh my God, this is so wholesome and lovely. I know, but you don't want whole. Awesome and lovely. Were you resentful? I don't think I, no, I don't think I'd got the, you know, when you're a kid, you don't understand what's different until you get to about 10 or something.

So this was happening your eight, it just is, do you know what I mean? You weren't peeking in other people's lunchbox. I remember a family, the Tileys, and they were getting five pieces of chocolate, separate, and I just thought, you've got the best mum in the world. The best man. So they would get a club, a penguin, a five, four, three, two, one, a wagon wheel and a gold bar. And you'd be like, these, this is how to live. Yeah.

Yeah. Wagon wheel and a gold bar. I know. Looking back, they must have been absolutely buzzing off their tits come second. But they're probably very alert. Yeah, exactly. But the crash must have been unbelievable at 4pm. But then the mum comes and picks them up.

They're knackered. And then they have cake. Yeah. Yeah. But you're a parent, and you have your brilliant podcast, Parenting How, and you know what it's like when kids come over for dinner. Yeah. And everyone has different requirements.

And my kids have that too. Yeah. And they're a pain in the ass. Yeah. When people used to come over to your house for play dates, would your mum, like, switch it up a bit? Or would people pretty, like, in Devon, everyone was kind of on the hippie stew. They wouldn't switch it up, but...

No one carried on coming over. I There was no veggie nuggets Oh you could have had pizza We did have pizza Do you know But it was the worst pizza Why?

You know the pizza Well it felt amazing then But you know the pizza you get At the back of the supermarket That's made No no no No I love them

You like a doctor The Fiorentina I love it I hate a doctor Okay Yeah right But you might be sponsored by them We're not

Cross de Molocca the one now. That's the best. Oh, custom. Yeah, they're great. Do you want some more, Josh? Yeah, I do, actually. Yeah, good. Oh, good. Do it. No, it's great. Let's talk about, gone, sorry, ma'am. I'm just wondered. Is it fun on the last leg? Um, yes. Because I would love, I loved you all on that. Do you? Yeah, I think it's one of my favourite Friday night. How would rank us?

Obviously, you're number one. No, no. Hang on, mum. But you've always had a little the ponchoon for Adam. Adam. How have you? Do you know? I do. I think he's terribly funny. Do you? Yeah. And I think he's so self-effacing and so funny about his disability. Yes. That's, he just... I think... Yeah, he's just such fun. It's easy for me to forget, because we've been doing it for 13 years.

How many seasons now? Like 30 or something? 30. That's crazy. It's mad, isn't it? Were you, like, put together? So, I tell you what happened. Because it really works. You really work the world together. Like, it's, it's total luck. It's like... Kismet.

The Paralympics came to London. Yeah. You know when you think about those things that, if they've been different, your whole life would be different. So even to the point where you're like, London wasn't meant to get those Olympics. That was meant to go to Paris. And it was like this real upset. And then Channel 4 suddenly had the Paralympics in London. Yeah.

So they were like, we'll do a, like a switchover show or whatever they're called on E4. And then it... They got Adam, because he's spoken about his disability, to host it. And then they needed a comedian that knew about sport. And they asked me, and they were like, do you want to do this show? It's a comedy about disabled sport. I was like, I'm, fuck that. Can you imagine?

And then they were like, no, no, it's really positive. And, you know, and they were basically like, look, it's 10 nights. No one's going to watch it. That was the implication. of the producer is on E4 no one's going to watch it you get to go to the Paralympics why not

and then Alex won a presenter search on they did like a disabled talent it's called like a million pound search for a style but you can still watch his video on YouTube his audition

that he's filmed himself and then he got put on the sport as one of their sports presenters and then he got they thought he was funny and they were like I will just put him on one episode of the last leg and then it worked so they kept him on it and he thought he was being

like punished because he was like why have I been taken off the main bit on this other show so was he a bit like pissed off at the beginning well I don't think he really knew what was he'd never been in TV like he was like what's and then it just kind of worked so then they turned it

what was a 10 day job has become like first time in my obituary let's talk about tour, not my cup of tea. You are doing the longest tour. Is this so you don't have to do the school drop off or do any cake sales?

I feel guilty about it. No, I'm joking. No, no, no. No, I feel guilty, making you feel guilty. No, no, no, no. It's because I enjoy the difficult bits of writing the show. Yeah. And like, if you're like, if people will come out and watch it.

Of course. That's like, you've just got to turn up and do it. It's fun. So how many dates altogether? There's about 80 so far. 80. But they're not all together. They're not, it's like three months. You're like Peter Kay. Well, I wish I was playing those venues.

I'll tell you that. Jesus. Yeah, but a lot of comedians do that because you can go to, because we can just turn up at theatres. I know. I know I keep like comparing it to, but like music is an absolute nightmare. The overheads.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I have to pay for? Someone's trying. me. Lighting sound. No, don't do those. Oh, you tight bastard.

They come with a theatre. Oh. You don't need clever lighting. Do you get your tour manager to spotlight you? No, there's no spotlight. Do you have a backdrop? I've got a gobo. Do you know what a gobo is?

No. So a gobo is just a thing that fits onto a light and then it projects like a, like Batman. Yeah. Like, you know, Batman into the... it just looks like you've got a backdrop. Oh, so it's like, Jessie, you've had something like that. Your name, or we had table manners projected on the back.

You've got yourself a go-bo there, mate. So I've got that. Do you set that up? No. Right. What's in your rider? Fizzy water. Oh, yeah, just let me know when you're ready.

No, that's good. And I got a load of three on the train and had tea. Fizzy water and tea. Why is it called Not My Cup of Tea? Because the truth is I wanted something that didn't mean anything and I wanted something that was kind of quaintly British. I like that kind of feeling. Yeah, sort of you're saying that, isn't it?

Yeah, and I like that kind of parochialism or that kind of Martin Parr or Alan Bennett or Blur or all that pulp or that kind of, that's my favoured aesthetic. So I was like, oh, I quite like that phrase because it kind of connotes that kind of stuff. And I thought, I bet I'll be able to come up with loads of material about tea. And I haven't got any. What is the theme? Is there a theme going through it? No.

So it's not like... There is a zero thing. What's his name? Who talks about when he left his wife? Bishop. John Bishop? Yeah. Did he leave his wife?

No. What wait for a house? No. Hang on for a wine. The whole thing started about when. his they split up and that's how he started comedy because he was miserable because they'd split up and then he has a theme mostly about his family right yeah no there's zero theme no no theme no theme you will learn nothing do you talk about your family a bit do you still get a little kind of breaking

news in there or like zero political no no no politics no politic parenting there's a bit about parenting i mean that i would have thought that's why people are coming to see you give me Something, Josh. Give me something. There's no tea. There's no... There doesn't sound as much going on. What the fuck do you talk about for an hour?

No. Hour 20. Go off five minutes late. It's fine. Do you do that trick? If we go up at 10 parts and it'll feel like it's added on. There's an interval. There's an interval. Yeah.

You can look forward to that. Well, I think don't the venues make you have an interval. So they... Well, I've never pushed back on it. I don't know, but I think they probably would. Yeah, they do, I think. But I like an interval. But no, it's just straight down the line as much, as many observational jokes as possible about my life in an hour and a half.

So you'll laugh as much as humanly possible when watching me without learning about politics or deep meaning. That sounds great. Do you involve the audience? I'll talk to the audience a bit at the top. Okay. Yeah. I will So before we have some crumble

What would be on your last supper Starter Starter I would have It's quite good, isn't it? Because you don't need to worry about getting really tired No, we don't need to worry about

You don't really need to worry about the health effect No Gosh, you can do what you want, I can do what you want. Very serious. I'm very serious. Yeah, you're. My starter, I would have barata.

Starter, yeah, I wasn't meant. Yeah, I wasn't meant. You're a poet and you don't know it. Starter barrage. What would you put it with? Yeah. Do you know what? I think everything that comes with the barata is distracting for the barata.

She's going to have like... Just a ball of barata. To tell you. Because in life, that's frowned upon. But now I'm popping. my clothes. Yeah, okay. But not bread or anything. So I don't like pirata. Do you not? Kind of oozy and, yeah, it's like a great big pimple. You put your thing in them. I love the oozy pimple. You do? I love it. Okay. I, this is actually probably the wrong time

to say this. You've got an oozy pimple? No, I don't. I've had a few in the summer, but something that really relaxes me on TikTok is watching people get their pupils popped. Oh, my God. What are you typing in? I don't know. It's obviously found me because I'm not even following them. But I'm like, uh, a minute comes across as a reel on your Instagram. And when they get these blackets out, I'm like, oh, my God, Jessica.

Oh, my God. It's amazing, Josh. Is that ADM? What's that thing? ASMR. ASMR. I'm not really listening to the sound. Right.

The visual is stunning. Oh, my God. Anyway, Jesse. Like some kind of weird. Is that weird? She's weird. She's king. Is it a king?

I don't know. I'm going to show it to you in a bit and just see if it gets you going. It won't get me going. It won't. It won't get me going. Satisfying. Make me feel sick. And are they commentating?

No, they're very in the zone. It's some Thai beauty seller. I don't know how they found me. Oh, it's the same place every time. Yeah, they found me. I still am not following them because I feel like that's like it being a bit too, like, committing. But they know. They know.

China's government with their TikTok sats, they know what you're into. No, because I carry on watching till the bitter end. Yeah. Anyway, so you'd have a barata. Yeah. Delicious. Pizza. Pizza?

I love pizza. Where's your favourite pizza from? No, it's just very interesting. Oh, okay. Do you go to Italy on holiday? We got married in Italy. Oh, I know. We got married in Poolia.

Did you have pizza? No. Pula's not really a pizza place. No. No. Was it gorgeous? Yeah, it was amazing. Why did you decide on Puglia?

Because you love Italian food or you go there a lot? No, because we've been there a bit. We felt like. we didn't want to get married in London although we did get officially married in London but we felt like I don't want to put my foot in here in case this is where either of you had your wedding

but you know when you go to a wedding and you think I don't think these people are connected with this place at all they've just chosen a kind of place destination wedding yeah but I thought so we were like let's just do something that feels like it's got an identity and it's like that rather than come to this manor house in Hertfordshire where we've never been.

I hear you. Does that make sense? I got married in Greece. You got married in Greece? Yeah, where I've been going since I was little. So don't worry. There was no manor house. Where did you get married?

Manchester. Oh. I did come from there. Did you? Yeah, that's how we got married there. Which bit? Really weirdly, it was Jackson's Row, which was opposite our synagogue. Oh, wow.

But you didn't get married in the synagogue. No, I got married in the register office. And then we had the reception in my sister's back garden. Oh. So we've got barata and pizza. Is there any pizza plays that you want to give a shout-out to? Well, no.

I suppose I shouldn't give a shout-out to a major one. Well, you can do. Why? Because you do small business shouts out. No, no, no, no. No, just because I haven't paid. No. So I, Franco Manca was, which is now everywhere.

It's not so good anymore, though, is it? No. But when I, this sounds like, I don't want to be. like I saw cold play in front of 10 people, but when I used to live in Brixton, not far from here, on the market. Yeah, on the market. Yeah, on the market. It was so good. It was amazing. You think that's even associated with the main thing now? Well, I don't know. Does it still exist? Yeah, it's still there, Franka Manca. But I remember going there first, and I couldn't believe the crust. It was so good. It was light and it was just, it was just, it bubbled up, didn't it? And then I saturned dressing was great too, I remember.

Oh, there's salad dressing. But you're stuck in the market. And they refused to serve tea or coffee with milk afterwards because they thought it affected your digestion. Oh. And I like it when they're like that difficult. Do you know what I mean? So they're like proper Italians. Yeah.

But I don't even know if it's the same thing. I don't know. I'd love to know the business in town if someone could write in. Me too. But I hope they've made loads of money. So what's your toppings, darling? I'd go for Chili's

You're kidding I'm not Poor bugger can't have Pepparone can they They can't Poor bugger Stop Mom

You just lost it out For 5,000 people Do you get If you're in Pizza Express Do you like the chili shit Do you remember these to put Chili oil I have

I love hot You like hot sauce I like everything hot Which is your best hot sauce? I'm not, I'd prefer a really spicy curry or chilies on a pizza to a hot sauce. Okay. But I love heat. Okay.

Which it took me years to find out because I presumed that I wouldn't because of what I'm like generally. Because I'm not. You don't look like a hot sort of perfect. Exactly. I don't look like a hot sauce. I wonder if it's a blonde hair. I think it's because I'm not an alpha. You expect it to be a kind of rugby bloke, don't you?

No. Do you not? No. I think cowboy. Cowboy? Wow. Cowboy with the chiroil. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, they like hot things, don't they? How many cowboys have you fucking spoken to? Branding people and things like that. I don't. Like the Marlborough man? Yeah, exactly that. It was a cigarette.

It wasn't the infinity amount. Yeah, but I just imagine the hot cigarette there, in there. Rugged, yeah, rugged, I still. Okay, so you like a hot pizza. Are you going to have any sides with that? No. waste of time. Okay.

Okay. I saw you with that salad. I actually had to shove it on your plate. No, no, I did enjoy it. You did enjoy it. I did enjoy it. No, no, I was good as I did enjoy the Francomanka salad. I did too.

Yeah. How many pizzas could you eat? Great question. Do you think you'd have more than one? I suppose. Yeah, I could. I always get to the end and think I could go again. Yeah.

But have you ever been to pizza at buffet? I can't imagine you have. Not for a long time. For a long time as they used to go. Straightham High Road. It used to be the highlight of your brother's life. Yeah, when they had. The pizza, and the ice cream as much as you could eat with sprinkles.

But you could never eat as much you actually thought you were going to eat. That was very doughy though. It was very doughy, probably still is. Yeah. Okay, so we're doing that. And then drink of choice? Drink of choice. Tea.

A tea. Okay. How did you take your tea? Strong with milky. Okay. Does that make sense? Do you have a preferred tea, Yorkshire? It has to be bag in the mug.

A long time. I don't want a pot. I hate a pot. Do you leave the bag in while you're drinking the tea? Some people do. Oh, to give you a bit of a boost. No, I wouldn't do that. I think that's a bit extreme.

If I'm driving, I'll do that because I'll think, if you go to a service station, I'll think I'll leave the bag in because I haven't got time to. Okay. Are you only a tea drinker? Coffee sends me mental. Does it? Oh, what do you do?

I get really, really high. Oh, and then really, really low. Oh. Yeah. And I used to... When did you discover that? At uni, I was drinking six cups a day. Okay.

And it was really having an effect on me. You couldn't live in Greece, darling. I couldn't live in Greece. You're right. Not just for those reasons. They drink it all day and all day. Yeah, well, I go to Greece on holiday and when you order tea by the pool, they look at you like your scum. Yeah, a bit weird, yeah.

And they're right. Yeah. So I can only drink tea. So pudding, have you got a sweet tooth? Cheesecake. Oh, what, the Pizza Express cheesecake? No, I don't remember that one. It was so good, wasn't it?

Creamy, like simple. Yeah, classic. Yeah, classic. Yeah, any cheesecake, really. Really? Yeah, topping, cherry. No, not the one where they've got the sharp, you know, like cherry or sharp fruit I don't really want. Shit, and I'm about to give you a fucking crumble.

No, I like a crumble. Are you sure? Have you got anything on it? I've got cream and ice cream. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, fine. Is that okay? That's great.

Oh, I still enjoy the cheesecake. I'm worried it's going to be a bit sharp. No, no, no, I don't mind sharp. I'm just saying, if I'm about to die, I'll forego the sharp fruit. Okay, fair enough. Having a nice afternoon with you, so I can use it with you guys. I'm going to get the crumble. Yeah.

You support Climuthagyle. How do you retain this stuff? Have you got a idiot board over there? No, I can remember silly things. Okay, yeah. Have you always supported them since you were little? Yes. Yeah. So since I was eight?

Eight. And which division are you in? We're in League one. Well, that's all right. Yeah, we're quite good. I'm softed city in that now. Quite possibly. Yeah, because I think they've come up from it. Yeah.

Do you like Saltford City? Is that where you're from? Yeah. I kind of watched them because all the boys from Manu fought it, didn't they? Are you a Manu fan? Yeah, we are. Sadly. It's Jesse.

Yeah. And the sons? Your grandchildren? No, they're Tottenham Because their dad's Tottenham. They love Tottenham. I was worried there wasn't going to be enough crumble But now I think I've overdone it overdone it.

That's never a problem, is it really? Do you want a bit of ice cream and cream? Oh, go on then, yes. Jesse's most comforting dish is ice cream with cream on. Oh, do you ever go to the lizard in Cornwall? No. They've got an ice cream shop called Gelberts and they only do vanilla and it's and the best vanilla the other option is you can have vanilla or you can have vanilla with a scoop of clotted cream on top

Oh wow that is my heaven yeah it's incredible I would highly recommend it yeah do you must eat a lot of clotted cream where you're from it's it kind of your staple every morning on your porridge Yeah I get out it's basically it's like water coming out of the taps I I try to avoid it. Not, no, I had a cream tea on Friday. Did you? But it was my mum's birthday. God, I hope.

I've given you lots. Oh my word. Look at it. I'm not going to have to eat again today. No, this week. Thank you. So, oh yes. He has a lot of cream all the time, Jesse.

I love cotter cream. It's so good. But I do think I need a lactate after it. Yeah. Yeah. Now, listen, I have to apologise. My husband is really good at Crumbles. And we've,

got all these beautiful fruit trees in the garden that we were trying to like and it's all so it's from our garden oh thanks mate for london that is a great garden thank you but anyway loads and loads of fruit trees my husband had made like the he's really good so i was like great he left skin on some of the apple and i'm just apologising it's all right it's lovely it is lovely and then there's some plums in there too i acknowledge that's not what you do with a crumble Oh, that's great. But like just... But you're like my mother-in-law.

Why? Can't cook for us without apologising for one thing that's wrong with every meal. And then ruins it for everyone. And you're like, can we just enjoy this without you pointing out your own failings? If we were coming over to yours, what would be always in your fridge that we would be like, oh, okay. Milk? There'll be a bit more imaginative than that fucking hell. Well, it's difficult.

I try and keep a tight fridge. Really? That's what my husband wants. I don't even want you to look in my fridge. Because I think the worst job in the house is getting rid of food. It feels so, I feel so deep guilt. You are like my husband. Yeah.

So I like to keep a tight, we were talking about football, manages to keep a small squad because they don't want the players on the outside missing out. I'd rather keep a tight... And go to the shops five times in the day. Yeah. Have you got shops near you? Yes. So about 10 minute walk.

So I'd rather do lots of small shops. Yeah. Because also I work even. So if I'm working evenings, I can't do that thing where you're like, on Monday we're going to have a birriani. On Tuesday we're going to have pasta on Wednesday. You're going to have.

So I'm existing moment to moment fridge wise. My gorgeous neighbour who I adore, she knows exactly what they're eating for the whole week. And I'm kind of envious of her because I think it's so amazing. But we are not those people. No. But do not go, but I don't want to eat that today. On Sunday I thought I'd want fish pie.

But now it's Thursday, I don't want fish pie, but there's a fish and pie. Whatever that's made out of, pastry. Right. And who's cleaning out the fridge? No one. To be honest. Well, I'm certainly not. I create. I imagine. I do it all.

You're an artist. I'm an artist. You've got an artistic temperament. Yeah. Okay, so milk. I think that's really interesting. I don't, do many people on so that they keep a tight church? I haven't had that yet.

But I like it. It's inspiring. I don't want to waste stuff. Great expression. But I don't, I suppose it means I'm spending more time walking to the shops and back. Getting your steps in. I don't think I've done a big shop since, since Gordon Brown was the Prime Minister.

Oh my God! But I do think. You used to live in Hackney That's not a reflection on the 2008 crash. But you do, in Hackney, you did have a lot of shops right by. You have that palm too. No, that was Clapton. I'm Victoria Barrett.

Where were you? Are you a Vicky Pick? We had Loriston Village, then. Exactly. Like, you could just pop out. You could just pop out. You could go to Village Organic. It's not what you're in Devon.

We've got a big waitrose. Okay, fine. So am I going to go back to big shops? That's what all the talk on the streets about. Big shops. Am I going to do you big shop? Yeah. And do you do it online or do you do it?

Online. No, she does it online. But my fridge would have enough to feed two dinner parties if I had to at the last minute. And you're not worried about wastage? No. She freezes it. I freeze a lot of stuff. Yeah, I cook and freeze.

So my mother-in-law, who spends a lot of time at our house, and she, to be fair, and she is right, she's born in 1945, so she's been created by post-war. make it use everything but she our fridge to tell you what is in it is like two board potatoes in a bowl or a tiny bit of pasta sauce in a bowl yeah or she puts espressos she has to have an espresso in the house at all times otherwise she panics so she'll go and buy an espresso and then that'll be in the fridge and she'll heat it up no she'll just drink it straight she just From the fridge? Yeah. Like an ice espresso.

She just has to have caffeine available at all times. How many does she have a day? Not that many. It's more that thing of knowing it's there if she wants it. But don't you have an espresso maker? Or like a coffee maker? Yeah, we do have a coffee maker. But she just needs it.

Yeah, she just needs to have. She sounds wild. Like a junkie would need to have a kind of. So there's nothing there to eat, really. What are you going to do when your kids are teenagers? There's jars of, you know, you've got your, so there is staples. There's your olives, your capers, you're, obviously, your jams, your butters. Oh, but your kids are good.

Yeah. Lots of fruit, lots of berries. Yeah, but your kids are going to be the ones that say, there's nothing to eat in the fridge, Dad. They're right. They will. And do you know what I'll say to them? I think there's nothing to throw in the bin. I keep a tight fridge.

Yeah, I keep a tight fridge. I love it. I keep a tight fridge. Before we let you go, Josh. I want to ask one thing. On. Karaoke song, Blur or Pulp? Pulp.

Oh. How did you know that pulp would be? Because you mentioned you liked pulp. I don't know. I thought he liked blur. He does, but he also said about pulp with that irreverent. So which song would get people more? Which song? It wouldn't be common people because I think that's too.

Oh, I'm surprised. I have to say. Well, there you go. Yeah. Year 3,000. You're full of surprises. 2,000. Sorry.

Year 3000's busted. Jesse, that is a big mistake. What I go to school for? Is that the one? I don't might. That came out. Oh, don't worry. That's the one about how people all we live underwater with gills, isn't it? Let's all I mean up in the year. I do fucking no song, Josh. I'm sorry, I said year 3,000, disco, 2,000. Love jobs, cocker. Yeah. He must have done this, isn't. And now he never will.

he'd be perfect for this. Why? Well, because he's kind of... Do you think? We didn't... We've had no oil. Have you? We believe we were the reason

they got back together, actually. I asked him, I said, we've ever got back together and he said, hell will freeze over. And I said, you talked so fondly about our kid. He said, because he is our kid.

Because he's younger. A nostalgic taste that can transport you somewhere. Please, Josh. That's great. So it would be, it would be a wam bar. Have you ever had a wambah? Remind me what that wham is.

Is it that one that's got like... So it's a pink bar and it had bits in it that was sour. Yes. I don't remember that. Delicious. It's very unliked. So they were great. They were tempi.

Was it like Nougar? No. It's like a refresher. Yeah, like a, what is that called? But like more stringy and more see-through. Yeah. Was it like strinkles? No, it wasn't named after George Michael, no.

No, the sprinkles were so sour. Yeah. So it would either be that, or I tell you the other one, which would just take me back to going to the sweet shop in the summer as a child, would be those 5P ice pop, Mr Frosties, and you'd bite the... The blue one? Yeah, blue raspberry. And you'd bite the top, and the side would cut your mouth. Oh, yeah.

And it's just that... I've not had one of them in what? 35 years. Probably so many E-colours, it killed. Oh, maybe. You should have seen our school WhatsApp group about that when they offered them in the summer. It kicked the fuck off.

Chris Van Tilikan's not happy about that. I can tell you that. But the kids were. Of course they were. Chill out on the WhatsApp group. Let people live a little. Someone didn't ice pole pole to try and diffuse it.

It was actually quite jokes. Was it like Brexit? And it didn't solve everything. It was like more angry. Somebody wanted watermelon instead. Josh Whittaker, it's been such a pleasure to have you. I'm so sorry I was late. I wish you'd stay longer because you're so lovely.

Well, thank you. Thanks so much for coming on, and I'm sorry it's been such a schlette, but it has been a joy, and you're welcome back any time. Oh, I loved it. I think you look like a young Robert Redford. Did you get that?

Well, the camera's still running. Yes. I think absolutely. Click that up and put it on your socials. That's exactly who reminds me of. A young Robert Redford. Memory. in the chords

What was his name? What was his name in that thing? Hubble. Hubble. What's that? The way we were, Barba Streisand and Robert Redford. You need to watch it.

The Calgary one. I don't know. Casting the Sundance kid. That's why I was thinking for Calvarez. Get out of here. Here's Starmer, Adam Hills and me. Well, I love the cowboy that is Josh Whittaker. Oh, he's lovely, isn't he?

He's so lovely and funny and was such a good sport. Yeah. And he could have been in a really bad maid. I would have been. Yeah, I know. I would. But thank you so much to Josh for coming on. I'm definitely going to go to knock my cup of tea.

I think he's doing Hackney Empire for two nights, but I mean he's doing 80 dates so you'll be able to get him somewhere Well he's certainly my cup of tea I liked him a lot Yeah he was great It was really really good fun And thank you to all the gang today

that kind of helped me think of something to do and went down to the bakery Thank you Joe That's delicious We problem solved We showed that if we were in an escape room We'd be able to get out potentially Would we?

Not without a fight or two But that is going to be our Christmas Start with the team bonding experience. Definitely because you start to. Yeah. Anyway, we'll see you next week.