Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - Paddy McGuinness

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

We likey, it’s our next guest - Paddy McGuinness! The Bolton born comedian, actor, and presenter joined us for lunch to celebrate the release of his upcoming TV series. Over a roast chicken lunch, Paddy told us that Northerners always love their food to be swimming in sauce, how he was getting tips from Sir Chris Hoy for his charity bike ride last year, his first visit to The Ivy and stealing the napkin, how he created the characters with Peter Kay for their series Phoenix Nights, and he is the second guest in two weeks to go for a prawn cocktail as their last supper starter! We also talked all about Paddy’s new show Tempting Fortune which really is excellent TV. It’s available to watch now on Channel 4 every Sunday, and we’re hooked! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners, I'm Jessie and I'm here with Mum and you're in a kind of, what would you call that green? Pistachio. Oh yeah. No it's not really. You love a bit of green don't you? Yeah I just thought it was sunny today. Yeah you look like a little Easter egg.

We have Paddy McGinnis coming on, who I love and think is very funny. I've loved him since Phoenix Nights. Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights? His was just fabulous. Sometimes when I'm feeling fed up, I look at little clips on YouTube of Phoenix Nights. Really? Or Peter Kay, yeah. Why didn't we go and see Peter Kay when he was on?

Couldn't get tickets. Couldn't get tickets. Couldn't get tickets. Should we try and get Paddy to get his tickets, get us in? That would be a good move. I think he's very good friends with him. They went to school together, Mum. Bolton! Well, Paddy McGuinness has this new show out.

I think it's its second season. It's called Tempting Fortune. It's incredibly entertaining. Factual entertainment entertainment I'd say it was maybe. Group of people, strangers have to trek in a jungle and along the way they have a big prize pot at the beginning and along the way they are met with temptation. It's whether they will succumb to it. And each time they succumb to it, a little bit more comes off the prize fund. So it's like what are you going to be left with at the end? Who has drained the bank? And so it's really good. I've watched three episodes. I'm fully in. They're in Malaysia. It's really hardcore,

this trekking and it's just they've got some Excellent characters in it. Does he track with them? He doesn't know paddies like all they're gonna be with leeches and paddy is not wading through the leeches I don't think paddy has the cushiest job. I think ever I want to ask him about that So it's like a combination of Bear Grylls. I'm a celebrity survivor Survivor Temptation Island Island but without like any romance. Okay. It's really good. I loved it.

It's also just taken over inside the factory, which takes things, food production from beginning to end. So we might get to know how a crumpets made, Jessie. Or the milk roll. Or the milk roll. Or a quaver. Mmm. I have been cooking. You've done pudding.

Thank you very much. I have done... I hear he likes a roast and actually this was serendipitous, but I am doing a roast chicken. It's a Mob App recipe. And I am doing a roast chicken with a charred spring onion mayo which is delicious. So you char the spring onions, you let them cool, you finely chop them, you do chives, you do mayonnaise. I actually took like 50 grams of the mayonnaise out and put Greek yogurt in with it too.

Parmesan, salt and pepper, and you just mix it up and it's so tasty. Like cheese and onion sauce. Yeah, yeah, it's delish. Doing it with the roast chicken that you put after 30 minutes, you put some white wine in. And so you don't make a gravy, but you kind of, with the white wine and the chicken juices,

you let it rest and then you add some parsley. I also had some tarragon, which goes really well with chicken. And so I've put that in as well and then you've also done I've done garlic cloves in tinfoil so they're really delicious and soft so you mix that in and then I'm just doing with new potatoes and a green salad. Right so I've made a lemon yogurt cheesecake, I followed the instructions. Whose recipe? It's New York Times. Right. And I followed the instructions absolutely even letting the the cheesecake cool inside the oven

till I took it outside and I've got an almighty crack down the middle. Does anyone know why I've got a crack in my cheese please email us at hello at table manners. A huge crack I mean a crater it will be fine because I'll put the cream on the top which you're supposed to but it's just I don't understand why. You're not happy with your presentation. No it will be fine once I've put the cream on because and then and then the lemon zest on top but I just wondered why it had cracked like that I mean really right down the middle of big crack. Email us at hello at table manners podcast.com we haven't actually checked it for a while I don't think but let us know and also if you have any sure-fire recipes that are crowd pleasers showstoppers yeah that aren't

gonna be too horrendously finicky. Please do email them because. Yotam, don't email. Yeah, Yotam, you just stay out of this. Yeah. Paddy McGuinness on 10 Minutes. So Paddy has just sat down. We've had a cup of tea. I had to, like, I only, for a moment

he nearly left because I'd run out of English breakfast but thank God for a hamper that was given to me at Christmas by my label or something. We found an English breakfast and you have just sat down and you've swapped your cutlery over. Yeah. In anticipation. Are you hungry Paddy? Oh I'm hungry. Are you? I'm hungry yeah. I thought we were gonna have a bevy. Listen I'll have a drink with you Mrs Wood there's no problem whatsoever. He just needs his brew first. I will have alcohol at any given time of the day.

Absolutely yeah yeah yeah it's what drives me. I feel completely the same. I'm on the same page as you do. Yeah, but it's been one M days today. Weirdly, it's a beautiful day. It's absolutely lovely around here, by the way. Yeah, it's very sweet. Oh, it's so nice. So nice. And it just puts you in a better frame of mind when the sun's out, doesn't it? And I come in and you said, do you want a drink? I thought, do you know what? I just want to see a cup of tea. a cup of tea. Have a tea first and then we'll get on to something.

What's your tipple of choice? I'll probably have a glass of wine. What about you? Again, it doesn't matter. Don't discriminate. Yeah, I don't really want to be getting the Jager bombs in. Okay. Just don't worry. Jesse likes a tequila. Do you like tequila? Oh no, that's me Achilles heel. Oh. Yeah. Why, what happens? Well, it gets a little bit sort of, it gets a bit hazy. Well what would be your tipple? If I'm out and about in a nice, you know, I love a lager. Just a nice cold lager. Oh you like a nice lager, yeah. And if I'm out and about and having something to eat in the evening, I quite like a vodka, lime and lemonade. Oh wow. I do like that, yeah. I'll tell you what I had when I first started coming to London because it was a culture shock

to me living in Bolton and then sort of coming to London. And the biggest culture shock for me was, were you born down here Jess? Yeah. Right okay so for me I had this agent called Phil McIntyre and they were based in Soar and I'd come down and it'd be like Tuesday about five o'clock and we finish a meeting and they'd go, right let's go out and get a drink and I'd be like on a Tuesday, bloody Tuesday, we're out of it, we're Friday, Saturday night, that was it. And I'm like yeah I went what five o'clock but I soon got into that culture and they took me to Groucho and I wish I'd have had many a night. But, and they got me a drink called a French 75. Oh, champagne. It was a little classier cherry in the bottom. Oh, I was very like, what, what?

It was like having a night out at Downton Abbey. And I really like, I just, I don't know. For me, it was special. Like I used to read in magazines about places like the Ivy. And I'm like, oh, what are these places like? And when you eventually, you know, get to go to like places you've read about, I know it's sort of, it's a bit like you get used to stuff, don't you? Working in the industry we work in.

But for me, I used to pinch myself everywhere I went. And I'd be like, look at me. I remember when I went to the Ivy, I nicked the tablecloth because I thought I'd probably never come back here. The tablecloth or the napkin? The napkin, sorry. I was going to say, that would have been quite... No, I might just do it like that.

Done it. Well, you know, massive under my coat. But it was just, I don't know, I feel... I've never lived in London because I like, people used to think, oh I bet you hate London. I love London. Oh that's nice. I love it. But you don't live here?

I don't live here because... So your base is Bolton? No, I'm in Cheshire now. Oh fancy place. Oh yeah, I've made a few quick notes. Which bit of Cheshire are you in? I'm in Presbury, which is a lovely little village. It's so nice.

Is it near Wilmsland? Oh yeah, oh god. Made a few quid now. Which bit of Cheshire are you in? I'm in Presbury. Oh. Which is a lovely little village. It's so nice. I know. Is it near Wilmslow? Yeah. Yeah.

Just beyond Wilmslow. Yeah, yeah. Everyone wants their dogs there or all to the edge. It's gorgeous and I've got like a Macclesfield train station and Wilmslow train station, 10 minutes from the house. Earthport's 20 minutes away. Oh, fab. But's, but you feel as though you're just in a little, it's just a lovely little place. What was that famous

pub, was it the White, the White Horse at Presbury? What's the pub there? Er, no, there's a, there's one called the Lee Arms. There's a few little ones round there. The White Horse doesn't ring any bells but they change the names pubs. Is there a place still near there called Culturethor? There is, yeah. Yeah. We used to go to dances there. Oh, did you? Yeah, now and again. What kind of dances? It was like they put dances on.

Tea dances? So, no, like in the evenings so you could meet people. In the old days, Jessie, there used to be dances on a Saturday night. So instead of just clubs at CIS, at the co-op, you know, in Manchester. But where did you go clubbing? Uh, my mum, like every northerner, she asked where they used to rave. I want to know if they ever raved. Like Lenny was in Bez in Hachienda.

Manchester, no, but I used to go clubbing every, all the time because I love dancing. Yeah. But it wasn't the same then. But I'm getting a real insight into your mind here because... Did you go to Manchester? Or did you go to Blackpool? That's brilliant. I sat down.

The first thing you said to is, what do you like drinking? And then where did you go clubbing? No, Bolton was a... Manchester was classed as a really big night out. You had to get an organised... It used to be a pub that used to take you there and all that. So Bolton, it was a place called The Ritz and there was another place called Pink Panthers which is a classic 80s club name and that was it and you went

you went out but weirdly, it sounds really old-fashioned this and I was talking to a friend about this the other day, the culture of getting dressed up to go on a night out seems to have gone. Cause when I used to go out in Bolton. You're dressed down now. Yeah, you weren't allowed in anywhere unless you had shoes on and the shirts and all this sort of thing.

And weirdly, no, it's gone the other way. It's kind of like say dressing down. Everyone's sort of like. Even in the North? They still make an effort. Jesse, they wear t-shirts in midwinter when it's minus 10. They have great immune systems, Northerners. Jesus.

They're all like Wim Hof. Everyone's walking around the streets with t-shirts on. It's a... My agent, who's from Bolton, but he's lived in London for about 30 years, he met me this morning, he had a woolly hat on, and I went, you've definitely changed. I went, it's absolutely balmy, it's tropical this. It is almost.

But yeah, I kind of, I miss those days of like, it felt like a night out, felt really special. Yeah, you got dressed up. Get dressed up and you meet your friends and no mobile phones. So like, God knows how we met, you know, you just seem to just figure it out. You know, meet at a certain pub or somewhere and then away you went. But... Were any of the bouncers at the Pink Panther,

were they ever inspiring your role in Phoenix Nights? Yeah, well, when we did Phoenix Nights, everywhere we went, every sort of that kind of club after, a doorman would go, that were me, weren't it? You know what I mean? And we saw a took elements of different doorman we'd seen over the years and mixed them into Max and Paddy. And a lot of the stuff with Phoenix Nights happened

in working men's clubs that we'd experienced in our life growing up and that sometimes that's the funniest stuff which based in reality in it and stuff we've all been been a part of an experience so that's how it that's how it came about but Phoenix Nights now because it's like over 20 odd year ago we made it I forget we I forget we even did it. Is it 20 years ago? Yeah, yeah. I was talking about it the other night on stage and it's amazing how much love for that show

and Max and Paddy Road to Norwood, people still quote stuff back to me from that. I think bloody hell, I forgot about that myself. You know what I mean? But it's still like people just love it. And you went to school with Peter Kay? Yeah, yeah, we were in the same school. school and then Mount St. Joseph's in Bolton and we started, it was a Catholic school and then we started, so we had nuns doing our lessons and my sort of growing up, like my primary school, St. Peter's and Paul's Catholic,

Mount St. Joseph Catholic, and for me, weirdly, growing up when it comes to like religion, this is not getting heavy. It's just easy. I used to always be a little bit scared of it because if I went to church, the priest was always like really solemn and you sat there and go, oh God, this cold place and don't say anything, don't do anything and all those experiences and then the nuns used to like kick our arses up and down the bloody schoolyard. So it was always a bit negative. And then I remember Peter's first son Charlie were getting christened and he was christened at a place called St Ethelbert's in Bolton and I hadn't been to a church for a long time. If I went for confession, no, I'd be in for two years.

Two years. I own many pros. But this priest came out and he went, listen everyone, if you've got your kids with you and what have you, let them run round. If they want to grab stuff, leave them to it. This is all. And I just went, it was like a moment. I went, bloody hell, this is, this is how it should be.

And weirdly it kind of changed me, my view on, on, on that and churches and everything else. I kind of just thought if you can be inclusive and make people feel like everyone's welcoming and you can have a laugh, for me it would just like lifted a lot off my shoulders when it came to that kind of thing. You must be of Irish heritage like Peter because you're a McGuinness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my family on my dad's side is from a place called Ballina which is the West Coast of Ireland.

Have you got your Irish passport? No, no, I've not got that. Have you? Oh, living the dream. Yeah, living the dream. Do what you want, go where you want to go. I'll look into that. Where's your favorite holiday destination?

Where do you like going? Oh, we go to Greece all the time. I went to Greece for the first time ever last year. I was filming a show there with a meter man I went to a place called Icaria little island. It's in the blue zone. Oh So I went there to kind of figure out right what they're doing at this place now It's in the blue zone average life expectancies like late 90s Literally all of them smoking like

chimneys and drinking all day coffee and I'm like what's going on with this place they're all on their fags and they're all knocking wine back but basically they don't they don't like have what the time doesn't govern the life so this this the philosophy on the island is they get up when the sun comes out, they grow their own food and it's pretty much hardly any supermarkets or anything. There's no pollution. No, and they go to bed whenever they're tired. And they just have almost like a stress-free life.

And so there's something to be said about that. So you know, go and get yourself 40 fags and a bottle of red wine and you'll smash it. When you were growing up how many people were in your family? My mum brought me up, I was single parent, I was old, so it was just me and my mum and I used to see my dad every other weekend and it's weird again when you look back at life like I couldn't wait till my dad came to the house, because my dad would take me out on a Saturday afternoon and he'd get me a toy or whatever. Yeah. It was just always fun. But because my mum was the person who was actually doing the graft and instilling the rules and getting me school uniform and putting my tees on the

table and what, you know, but at the time when you're a kid, I go go oh my mum's bloody miserable and me I can't wait to see my dad and it's only when I got older in life and sadly it was too late my mum passed away where I really wanted to spoil her because I realized that was the person who'd give up a life for me you know what I mean I still love my dad but my dad no wonder he were in a good mood he only had me once every two weeks so it was like happy yeah yeah yeah exactly so I loved them both equally but I wish when I started doing alright for myself I wish I could have like spoiled my mum rotten really you know but you know it is what it is that's

life but yeah. Can we talk about your mum a bit and what was a memorable dish your mum used to cook? My mum was old school so it was very traditional food and I loved my mum's cooking, like loved it. So did you have the same thing every day of the week? No it'd be things like... Every week it would be on a Monday we'd have this and on a Tuesday that. What my mum would do is like, so she'd like bake a lot, there's a lot of pies and things like that and then I remember one, this Bolton Market, she brought home this, this is going back like late 70s early 80s, it was mini pizzas, mini margarita pizzas right, cheese and tomato ones. Now this was a big deal. Right. This was like new age in Bolton. Was this like when Asda came about? I don't even think

Asda was, it was just, she brought them home and this is typical with mum and I had some, I went those are brilliant, big mistake. The fridge, that were all we had for about a month, cheese and tomato pizzas. No, I can't look at one. You know, when you have that bad experience with alcohol, you go, I can't touch, I'm like, I'm like, but she's a type of, I'm like, mum, they're all right, but they're not that good. But yeah, so she'd be like pies, big Sunday dinners. I used to-

Which is your best roast? I love lamb. Me too. I love lamb. And it's got to have... I'm a triple carbs man, so I like mash roasties and is it a croquet? A croquet on the side. Croquet potatoes? Yeah, one of them on the side.

Oh my God. Croquet. Is it croquettes or croquet? Croquet is a game, innit? No, you can't say it. I was going to say something to knit. It's knitting. Oh yeah, croquet.

Croquet because it's two T's and a N. Yeah. Yeah. Get them croquettes on the go. Love them. Do you still like a croquet? Oh, croquette. Croquette because it's two T's and an E. Yeah. Get them croquettes on the go. Love them. Do you still like a croquette? Oh, I love it. Pretty much anything that involves a potato, I'll eat. Well, on that note, I'm just going to sort out our lunch.

We're having roast chicken with new potatoes. Oh my God. I love this. With a charred spring onion mayonnaise. Right. And then I've made charred spring onion mayonnaise. And then I've made some homemade bread. So you've got a double carb on there. Homemade bread.

It's a new thing and it could taste like shit. It could taste like shit, Paddy. If I meet you at partner I'm going to shake them by the hand and say... You look a bit like him actually. You've looked out. You've looked out because... My mum, I'm a real mummies boy I say, you've looked out. You've looked out because, like, my mum, my mum, I'm a real mummies boy, and she absolutely spoiled me rotten.

She'd do all me dinners when I'd go to work and all me washing and everything, and I used to tip me wage up to her every week, and that's how we worked. So, every partner I've had, from right way back when, weirdly, I don't know what it is, like like no one ever, we never did any cooking or anything like that, so I'm, anyone who makes me something,

now I'm instantly putting in their hands, because I'm like, this is amazing. This is the best, this is the best. Is the carb thing a new thing, from when you were doing Children in Need and you did that cycle? How many miles was that? Yeah, I did 300 miles on a child's bike.

A child's bike? Yeah, on a Rally Chopper. Oh my God. At the end of it, my backside looked like a sheet of bubble wrap. It wasn't in a good place. What did you put on it when you were cycling? Well, I didn't know anything about cycling, so a bloke who lives round the corner from me

is randomly Sir Chris Oye, right? So there's nothing he doesn't know about Bight Rides. So I rang him up and I said, I'm doing this ride, what do I do? So he said, you've got to get this cream. It's like an anti-chafing cream. But the worst thing about it is you'd have to put it on every morning.

Yeah. And like in the cold you don't want to be stood greasing up your nether regions before you get on a bike but you've got to do it because it does stop the chafing and that's what that's what helped. Were you wearing lycra? Yeah so I wasn't wearing lycra like I didn't want to do that I didn't this is why I did it on a rally chopper I didn't want to do that. I didn't, this is why I did it on a Rally Chopper. I didn't want to do. Like the Tour de France. I didn't want to be in full Lycra's on a fancy 24 speed bike. So I decided on the Rally Chopper

cause it's such an iconic bike. And I thought there's a generation of kids who've never seen one and it just looks funny. And what was amazing, wherever I went around doing the challenge, every bit of road, there was always people out. When we get to the schools, the kids have come out and they'd all be drawing pictures of the chopper and holding them up. And I thought, oh, it's lovely that because again, they see in this bike and they go,

well, because essentially when you were all yellow and it had all the dots and put his face on, it's really like a bloody clown's bike. And I'm coming down the road and it and so the kids just loved it, you know And it was great and they all came out and that 300 mile weirdly felt like it felt like nothing though because they were People were that much goodwill honestly, and I went through a load of little towns throughout the UK Were it were like the entire community came out and it felt like you were a part of something.

I did sponsor you and I did cry when you arrived. Thank you very much. Oh thank you, you were so nice here. You were upset and I was upset. Yeah. I could cry now when I think about it. Honestly it was amazing. It was very emotional.

And it really just captured people's imaginations. It was fabulous. It was a really, really, for me, it was a really lovely moment in time that I was a part of and I'll take with me to my dying day really. Have you got a bike? No, no, no. So you didn't even cycle? No, no, I've not done anything like that.

I've been on bikes before and whatever. And how's your bits now? They're all right, thank you. OK, no scarring. No scarring, thank God. Everything's as it should be. Thank God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No scarring. No scarring. Everything's as it should be. Thank God for that. So we ask everyone who comes.

Yeah. What would be your last supper? Start a main course and dessert and what would you drink with it? Right. You're going on a desert island for about six months. Okay. Now, I'm one of these people, weirdly,

certain foods are like the cheaper versions. Okay. So I think, as a starter, I'd have a really cheap prawn cocktail. Do you know you're the second person? Orange sauce, tiny little prawns and a load of brown bread with butter on. Oh, lovely. We had Danny Dyer on Tuesday. That's his favourite. Yeah, that for me, because like, if you go to a posh restaurant

and they've got the langoustines on the, and all the eyes looking at you, I'm like, get up and you're messing about with shells. I love a real, iceberg lettuce, a really basic, cheap, prawn cocktail. Where do you have the best one? Well, pretty much anywhere you go, anywhere, yeah, where I would go. It's coming back a bit, isn't it much anywhere you go, anywhere, yeah, where I would go to bits all that. It's coming back a bit, isn't it? Did it go out?

I think it did. I think it went out of fashion and it's... It's a bit like Arctic Roll, isn't it? I used to have Arctic Roll as a kid. Or Vianetta. Oh, I loved a Vianetta. Yeah. My favourite when I were a kid dessert was, because I were on school dinners, we used

to get you free dinners with your little ticket. and our school used to do chocolate sponge and chocolate custard. Oh god, double chocolate, fabulous. Heaven. And it was thick, wasn't it? Heaven. Probably didn't taste very much like chocolate, it was just, not like it, but it didn't taste like it. Yeah, I'd have a cheat prawn cocktail and then as my main, I'd have what we said before, I'd have the lamb roast dinner. Lamb roast dinner. Yeah, with my mum's Yorkshire puddings. Mashed potatoes, roast potatoes, croquettes. Yeah.

Absolutely swimming in gravy. I'd have, cause it's the last supper. Mint sauce. Mint sauce. I'd have a few pigs in blankets on there cause it's the last supper. Oh my God. I'd go mad.

And I'd have, this is a bit of an, look at that. It's great, Jess. My God, that is, that is, that's impressive. And I'd have a, they used to do, my mum used to do a thing called carrots and turnips, which like mashed up together. Yeah. Carrots and turnips or carrots and swede?

Carrots and turnips. Oh wow, I've never done that kind of thing. So I'd have that on the side, that'd be my main. And then desserts, I'd have apple crumble and custard, but keep the apple, I go double crumble. I love it when it's like, I'm just, bit of apple sauce will do me. And again, if you go some-

But you like the crumble texture. I just like everything about the crumble. Yeah, I think it is great. Oh, I love it. But you like the crumble texture? I just like everything about the crumble. Yeah, I think it is great. Oh, I love it. And just covered in thick custard. And that'll do me. Fab. And drink. I'll probably have a brew with it.

A brew? Yeah. God almighty, he'll have a brew. You're looting me with disgust there. No, I'm not. A brew! I've forgotten that we call it a brew up north. Yeah, I'd have a brew definitely. Here we go, look at this. Are you ready for your dessert of white wine now?

Do you want white or red or? Or not. I'll have a little white for you. I can see if I've got a lager in the fridge. Well if you have got a lager I'll have a lager. I'm worried it's non-alcoholic. No he doesn't want that. It's like decaf coffee. Decaf tea bags, non-alcoholic, I was so looking forward to coming here today. What's going on? Should I have a look?

It's taking the fun out of everything, isn't it? Shall I just get stuck in? Oh, here we go. And then how many potatoes? We like potatoes. Love that. They're not, I mean, I'm not that fussed about fucking potatoes. Hold on, let's get some more juice on there.

Oh, yeah, look at this. It's not a gravy, that's why it's a loose juice. A loose juice. Oh, look at this. Right. Got a beer for you. Oh, right, let's have a look here. I'll go, I think I'll go with Camden.

Yeah, thank you. Look at this. Mum, can I get you some? Do you want a leg? I'm going to have a little go. I'll go. I think I'll go the Camden. Yeah. Thank you This juice here first Jesse that's huge and he's any got a little bit Bloody hell this is good. Oh, you're so sweet. This is good. That bread is amazing Oh, thanks mate. I've not even started on the rest of it yet. Get it on there. Yeah Anyway, and this is the thing about Norveners, I would say. Yeah. And I don't know you've gone on when you've had any Norveners on before,

but we do like a little bit of moisture on the plate. We do like, we like it absolutely sopping bloody wet through. I should have done it in a bowl really, shouldn't I? Do you cook every, when you're at home do you cook? I've always done the cooking I've done the cooking yeah I was I was married for about 16 year and I was the one who did all that and I enjoy it but not to this level. Oh please Paddy. No no no I can do, I can do roast dinners and stuff and I can do spag balls and all the basic stuff. And I can put the chicken nuggets in the oven for the kids.

What do the kids like? Well they're like, I've got two at 11 and one at eight, so you can imagine chicken nuggets, fish fingers, all the good stuff. But with my children, because of autism, they had a lot of different sensory needs at the beginning. But now, it's amazing, and this is the beautiful thing about autism, every child's different. You can't just go, that's what's gonna happen on that plate and that's what's going on on that plate. Every child's different, like every child is in any of. And they all love different things now,

but like any other kid, you've got to put a bloody padlock on the biscuit barrel because biscuits and chocolate and all that, oh my God, they'll go to town. These spuds are fantastic. Mate they are I didn't you just like a spud because that isn't just no but these if I'd have done them they wouldn't have been as soft as that okay they're delicious yeah I'm so happy they're a kind of potato where if I wanted and I were feeling a little bit flamboyant,

I could mash them up with my fork and make my own little rustic mash. Well you can do that now. Knock yourself out. Don't hold back. I'm enjoying this as it is, honestly. He's feeling inspired. This is wonderful.

This is wonderful. Whilst you get some food down here, I'm going to tell you how much I love Tempting Fortune. And also how cushy that job was for you Paddy. Let's be real. You weren't with the leeches. You literally are on a fishing boat and you go, this is what's going to happen. Good luck. Did you get a good tan?

Do you have a nice rest when you're in Malaysia but you know what we're mad about it because Langkawi were filmed it's like being in a steam oven so it's like you move and you're wet through in sweat and I picked up this thing because I'm a person me when I go on holiday I love a lie down. Me too. No skin for me. We're going on a walk and all that like, balls to that. Let's have a drink and get a sun tan. I'm like David Dickinson when I come home. But, so, because I was there and I had quite a bit of down tan in between when they were off doing the challenges.

So I'd have my shirt off and I was like a bloody lizard wherever there was sun I was laying it and I got this condition in your skin, we've all got this in us apparently It's this thing in your skin and I forgot the name of it now but you get like little white patches all over yourself Oh yeah, I know that And to get rid of it you've got to get bloody fungal foot cream from the chemist Oh my god And that's not a good look when you're in there and you go I've got to get bloody fungal foot cream from the chemist and that's not a good look when you're in there and you go I've got any dactyrie so where was it on your face no on me

back it was on me back I've still got little bits of it somewhere on me sometimes it gets on my arms but you've just got to you've just got to it's like one of the things it's not contagious but it just takes forever to get rid of so I've not been out in the sun for a while till it properly goes and then I'll be back at it. The characters that they cast for these, I mean, they're real people, it's strangers. You probably, tell me if I'm right, it's 300 pound cash. 300 grand.

300,000, sorry, 300,000. Hey, this isn't on channel 5 this is channel 4 Jess this is blow we've gone budget and there's 15 people yeah so basically the the conceit of it all is they're playing for collectively for 300,000 pound but along the journey so they're out and about the the camping the roughen it they're doing challenges hikes Every now and again, they get offered a temptation. No, the temptation comes at a price So let's just say it's that glass of beer though. You you read or you've been up and we go Well, you can have a nice cold beer. But if you have that beer, it's gonna be

two grand, right, which if anyone's listening to this in London is probably going, and? Seems reasonable. But, and then that goes off the prize money. Do they collaborate and talk to each other? Well, it's almost, it's kind of a bit like a social experiment because in life, most people, some people squirrel everything away

and save for a rainy day, and other people live in the moment and just go, I'm getting it. Well yeah, one person, absolutely. No, a few people lived in the moment. The interesting thing about this series is we've got a vicar on there and I thought, right, is he going to play it? Because obviously all his congregation are going to be watching, he's got to set an example. But he went. He's a naughty vicar.

Oh he's a very naughty vicar. But I mean, what I found quite interesting, because it is a social experiment, you think about some people that are going, I'm doing this for the experience, and you see some of these people that have had really tough journeys, and particularly there's a lady who... I've only watched three episodes, but there's a lady who used to have a restaurant, and she is working so hard, and she won't take anything. And she's getting so angry at this person who's a card entrepreneur who told everybody

that her business had been prized, costed seven figures. So she's a millionaire. Yeah. And this girl's taking all the bloody chocolate and all of it, whereas this other woman who needs this money probably more than Vicky, and all of it, whereas this other woman who needs this money probably more than Vicky, it's Vicky, isn't it? And the frustration, so I found that quite interesting about some people being like, I'm here for the experience

and other people being like, I'm here for the money, I need the money. Exactly, and the tricky thing is, so you'll have that sort of debate going on amongst them, but then if someone's really winding you up because they're taking all the temptations, where you go, just leave. But if they leave, 30 grand gets knocked off.

So you've got to sort of put up with them and try your best to placate them and persuade them not to take any temptations. But that is the beauty of show. And that's pretty much like life when you're out in the back. You'll always have a mate who goes, oh, I'm doing that. You go, whoa, whoa, save a bit.

But for me, watching it all unfold. And on day one, we set them all off. We were on this boat and they were all dressed up, lovely, smelt great. And I went, right, start, see, you're gonna get to that beach over there. There's a boat to take you. But if you get on that boat, it's 500 quid each.

Or you can just jump in the river as you were now and swim there. So they all did a big group over there, we're sticking together, we're gonna not spend anything two hours later, they're at each other's throats and like, you've done 10 grand in, you've done a grand in, so erm, and watching it unfold as it goes along and watching people change their mindset as well as it goes along, that's quite interesting. It's really great, Ellie. It's the second series, isn't it? Where was the first series?

In Malaysia as well. South Africa. Where's the next one? I don't know, we might keep Malaysia because it's so extreme out there. It looks beautiful. Honestly, it's such good. It's like being in a sauna, isn't it isn't it? Sorry I'd lost myself in the

sourdough for a minute there and I'd gone off on one that was so, this is such a treat. Oh that's so sweet. The simple things in life are the best for me. Well you've been on tour so it must be tough. Yeah yeah yeah, motorway services, well you know what touring's like. Yeah. And everyone thinks you're kind of in this big glamorous thing, but it's not. You come on stage and you're like, usually in the back of a car, service station, and then in an hotel, and then you're up the next day and you're doing it again. But it's very seducing when you're on stage, especially doing comedy when everyone's laughing and you go, oh, yeah, this is this is amazing, you you know but as soon as I walk off stage I leave it there. Where do you stand on hecklers? It's not too bad I mean when you hear the word heckly you presume

it's bad but people are shouting stuff out genuinely nice as well but trouble is when you're mid-floor and someone shouts whatever a catchphrase or and usually with me they get all my catchphrases wrong like like in the light and I'm like what are you actually on about I don't say that but it's just part and parcel of being up there you just and doing it as long as I have. So it's just like they're involved? Yeah the only time it gets bad with anything like that and touch what's never happened to me, is like if someone's absolutely pissed out their head, and they're just being a nuisance to other people.

It ruins it for other people, you know what I mean? Someone's shutting stuff out and dealing with it, that's fine, but someone being blind drunk and just cocking it up for everyone else, that's when you go, oh God, we've got to sort this out now, you know what I mean? What's the content on this tour? What's it called?

The tour is called Nearly There and there's quite a bit of nostalgia in there and looking back at things as opposed to now it's like even I look back at colour like no everything's vivid there's every colour like you go into a paint shop now and they've got those big colour charts and there's that much color now, they've got new names for stuff, like is that grey? You go no no it's elephants breath and you're like alright that sounds fancy. So and I'm sort of like in the 70s it was kind of like pretty much everything with brown and cream, so it's like talking about things like that then I show stuff

on screen but it's pretty much like everyday life stuff you know we're not we're not all I think the world's pretty serious place as it is so I just like we come in and we have a good laugh like last night I was on stage in Eastbourne and it was really honestly just you really get a sense of people just wanting have a good night they just you really get a sense of people just wanting to have a good night, they just want to have a bit of fun and they want to have a laugh and they don't want, I don't do political stuff you know I just think I just think leave that. So you don't ever mention Donald Trump? No I do a little bit at the beginning but I do it in a way where I just don't want people to think about

politics and religion or anything when they're in it, I want them just to laugh and I want them to have a good night because they've worked all week and then they go home and they go, I'm in a good mood, that were great and life goes on. You know, you don't need me bloody standing up there banging on about politics and everything else. I did question time about a year ago and at several I was going, don't you mad, what you're doing it? I said Luke I've been asked to do it I said I'd never I'd never be able to rest no when I turned it down I said rightly or wrongly and I'm not a political person I said but I can see the NHS because I

use it I can see what's happening with dentists because they use them so I said you know my opinions are just my opinions But they're not anything too heavy And I did it and I really enjoyed it. It was terrifying you know but The audience responded well to it and and I did it and that without and I got a little I got a Message off the British Dental Association thanking me about what I'd spoke about with dentists and how they have to work and what have you and I just thought bloody hell you know and that with that so and then I left it I

got asked to do every political podcast there is after that and I'm like I'm not interested because it gets too much and I'm genuinely not that sort of polished on politics and no loads of stuff so I know what I know and that's what that was. Can I ask a cheeky question? Oh God. Are you dating? Because you know Take Me Out was my favourite. Yeah. I'm very sad. Is it ever gonna come back? I don't understand why it's not on the telly all the time. It was my Saturday night feature. Do you know the mad thing about Take Me Out is when I'm out and about now kids come up to me and ask me about it and I'm like have you seen that but it's still repeated. So then that's an appetite

for a new series surely? I think I don't know it's a I think the way things are at the world now in media it's we live in a very strange time where if you're saying something jokier or something not serious or whatever it gets taken out of context, put online, and there's a spin on everything. And I think, take me out, because it was so kind of pure and lovely and fun and Saturday night, and we had a laugh. That was of its time.

I think if you did it now, I hope I'm wrong, but I think if you did it now, there'd be that many bloody things going, oh, you can't do do that you can't say this and taking things out of context and what have you because essentially it's a family Saturday night entertainment show you know what I mean and that's what I were brought up on so if they said like do you want to do a you know two or three charity specials I'll be all over it, you know what I mean? But as a series, I don't know.

And also as well, you know, I'm 51 now. Are you? I can't believe it. Can you believe that? Can't believe it. It's the light. Yeah. But, you know, at the time, I was like late 30s, early 40s. And we had a really...

Is it that long ago? Yeah, we had a really yeah we had a yeah oh god yeah it's well over ten years ago but we had a good a good the demographic of girls was brilliant because we had we had women on the who we've had like 60 70 year olds and then we have girls who were 20 but for me I felt like I could talk to every age every age and I think now at the age of Matt if I'm talking to a 20 year old girl and they ask me out dating I'm so I'll be like I don't really know the latest bloody trends or anything you know what I mean so uh you know it is what it is but it

was a lovely thing to be a part of we did it for for 10 years, and I have a lot of good memories. But what's interesting for me now is I'll see a lot of the girls and the lads popping up on, like, Married at First Sight. And they're still looking for that. And they're still looking for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still looking for fame. Yeah, yeah, they're doing that.

And there's a guy, one of the guys who was on, he's got a massive YouTube channel. His name's just gone out my head. He's got a massive YouTube channel. And'm like bloody hell he was one of the lads on Take Me Out, you know what I mean? So it's kind of like... Did anyone get married? Yeah we are actually one of the world's most successful dating shows. We've had I think it was somewhat like six marriages with five or six kids being born. It's a nice you've gone on it show.

Yeah five or six kids being born from the's a nice to have gone on it. Yeah, five or six kids been born from the show, umpteen engagements, still together, no people because they met on Take Me Out. It's a really lovely part of my life, like I'm very proud of it, and I've got good memories of it, and we had a really good team, and everyone from the warm-up guy to the exec producer,

it was just a real pleasure to be a part of. So you're gonna be in a hotel tonight, you're gonna order room service, aren't you? I'm gonna order room service. Last night, I come off stage in Eastbourne, it was a couple of hours to London, so I got to London about one in the morning. I thought I'm hungry, cause I haven't done the show,

and I was like just coming down and I found myself sat up in bed at 2 in the morning eating a French onion soup. Oh lovely. Watching the best of Peaky Blinders on YouTube. I've never been happier. I've never been happier. What does the best of Peaky Blinders entail? Because it wouldn't be so either very violent or very depressing.

Right up my street. It's not a laugh, is it? It's right up my street. That's what keeps me going in life. Is that what you need? Depression and violence. Particularly after you've just kind of entertained and made everyone really happy.

No, it was weirdly, because I love that series. There was an episode which like the American Mafia come into it and wipe you. And it was kind of like about that. And it was like the best bits of it and stuff. I just found myself, you know when you just go down a rabbit hole on YouTube. Is that what happens?

Do you do that a lot? Or I'm big into it. Like is it cars a lot of the time? It can be anything. Like I lose hours of my life. Like I'm really into like big machinery and engineering former Q ladies can't understand why I'm still single what do you like big machines so I start off like searching things and then literally

you know algorithms and alike but like also and I literally, you know what algorithms are like, but also, and I just, I'll watch what, if it interests me, it doesn't have to be anything in particular. It could be about gardening, it could be about American prisons, it doesn't matter. If I wanna watch it, I'll watch it and I'll go, oh, I'm in.

So is that why you did Inside the Factory? Because you like big machines? Weirdly oh that came about well what happened was I was filming the first series of tempting fortune yeah and the guy who was in charge of his production company do inside the factory and just one night you know I've been working with me for a week or two and and I'm a kind of person I love a laugh and a little bit two. And I'm a kind of person, I love a laugh and I love a bit of fun, but I'm really like across everything when I'm doing it.

So he said, oh, I've really enjoyed working with you and what have you. He said, have you ever seen Inside the Factory? And I went, yeah, yeah, the programme, like how things are made and what have you. Yeah, he said, do you like it? I said, yeah, it's all right, you know. Literally like that, because I didn't have a clue. Did you not realise this was a job interview? I didn't you like it? I said, yeah, it's all right. You know, I literally like that.

Did you not realize this was a joke interview? Didn't have a clue. Oh yeah, it's all right. I said, I don't sort of, it's not appointments of you where I must watch it. I said, but it's a program that if it's on and I see what they're making, and I'm like, oh, and I'll sit and watch it.

I said, it's, cause it's good like that. You don't have to start from the beginning. And he went, what do you feel about horse did it? and I went, man not for me. Honestly this is like sat in South Africa in the middle of nowhere having this conversation because I just thought it's not really my shtick that you know I've done like Take Me Out, Phoenix Nights, Top Gear, Questions and Swap Gear, yeah, questions, all entertainment-wise things. So he said, well, let me think about it. Anyhow, we got back to the UK and they got in touch again

and it's sort of gone a bit further down the line with us talking about it. And then I went, nothing to do with the series, like filming it, it just took me to a factory that made squashums, you know the sweets? The squashums. Squashies. Squashies and all that and swizzles and drumsticks.

Schwartz, is it Schwartz? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the old school sweets. And they took me and they had all this really old school machinery, what they were still making sweets like from 200 years ago and I was that fascinated. I thought oh actually and I saw the day I thought I could do this because I was genuinely interested and that with that my first one I did was Quavers and then and the crazy thing is when you this is a BBC

thing is when you're at inside the factory you can't mention what what the brand is right so I'm doing a link with about I'd as it I guess 400,000 bags of Quavers behind me right and I can't say Quavers right so I had to refer to them as cheese based mazed snacks and I'm going this is not gonna work And I'm going, this is not gonna work. So now I just take the piss with it all. Right. And I go, oh, this round circle with jam in the middle, biscuits, is delicious.

I don't even know if it's a bloody Jammy Dodger. But that's just some weird rule they have over there when they make the programme. But that little thing you did on the side there, that was delicious. Yeah, that mayonnaise. Yeah. You know what you know what's scurmy eggs I'd screw me why you think they're a simple thing but they're very very common complex I tried to porch one the other day I lost about four hours in my life I'll never get back couldn't get

it right and when you're sitting about mayonnaise, I know there's eggs in it, I'm like, can't. Is it putting you off? No, I love eggs. It's just, I can't seem to do anything. Apart from boiling them, I'm knackered, I can't do anything. Listen, Paddy, I gotta be honest. That was Hellman's in there.

You gotta find shortcuts, Paddy. I wasn't bloody, I wasn't made from a mayo. Good enough for me. No, but like, you know, but um... Look at this. Oh my God! I don't know that it's any good, I've not made it before. She always says this.

This is, this is next level. It might not be. Do you know what that reminds me of? I had a cheesecake the other week, it looks like it. What's the name of this Spanish cheesecake? Obasque. Yeah, that looks a bit like one of them. I don't know whether it is. Look at that.

Right Paddy, let's go. Good health. Good health, good health. Where's your spoon? I've got both on the thing. Okay, right, here we go. Let's see. Look at this. Well, it looks like a New York cheesecake. Jesus. That is really good. It's very light. Tearing up here.

That's so light. It is light light. It's not bad is it? Oh! That is really good. What a day! What a day! What a day this is! Can you come over and eat? Here we go, look at this! Oh my god. So you'd say you've got a sweet tooth? Massive. Right. I always like a little bit of sweet after a savoury. Even if it's a biscuit, I've got to have something. How long did it take you to make that? Not that long, I don't think. Today or yesterday? Do you keep it in the fridge overnight? Yeah, you're supposed to. What's your kitchen like? What do you mean?

Well, like, you know people who can do stuff like this I always think I don't have the right tools for the job in the kitchen you know I only just got a wooden spoon last month I've never had a wooden spoon. I'll treat you. In fact Chris Harris I worked in Top Gear with I were making some at once and I were using a metal spoon he went that's sacrilege he said get a bloody wooden spoon and it does make food taste nicer psychologically and you learned that at 51 yeah I was like wooden spoon getting one what's your favorite everyday sauce like what would you have on most meals do

see you two are accomplished in the kitchen I like to to add a sauce to, I like, like, you know. Do you like a hot sauce? No, I don't like it. I'm partial to a salad cream. Oh, I've heard about this. What do you do with your salad cream? Suckers, go down. So, yeah, keep it.

I don't think I want to know after I think about his chafing. I'm telling you. What we used to have as kids was, again, because of money, my mum used to give us salad cream butties. So it was just a piece of dry bread with salad cream squirted on, spread, folded over. Heaven. Nice.

Heaven. Where? Yeah. I'm just thinking salad cream or mayonnaise, which do you prefer? I would probably prefer salad cream, but I do love mayonnaise, like you were just saying then about the Hellmanns. Do you ever dip your chips in mayonnaise? I've dipped my chips in everything Mrs Roar, over the years.

Curry sauce, do they make a good one in Bolton? If it can be dipped, it's going in. You see, I don't understand in the South they don't have curry sauce at chip shops. Yeah. As a matter of course. Not a fan of moisture down here are they? No. Everything's quite bloody dry. Yeah. I love like we were saying before, drowned in gravy. Everything. I love it. And I love, like if you do a big Yorkshire pudding and use that as your plate and put everything inside the Yorkshire pudding and fill it full of gravy just pick it up and eat it. That'll do me. Paddy before we let you go what is a

nostalgic taste that can transport you back somewhere? Mmm probably what we touched on before chocolate sponge with chocolate custard takes me back to my school days. There's a thing Called a Manchester tart as well. What's that? Which is like it's almost like well you cut a slice of that cheesecake then So it'd be like a slice, but it's almost It's like a set custard. Yeah, with a little bit of Coconut sprinkled on top and a little layer of jam underneath. It's like a real old school dessert in the north of coconut sprinkled on top and a little layer of jam underneath it's like a real old school dessert in the north.

That's where anything's wrong. Like it's amazing the power of food. Like even smelling something, you just go, it just takes you back like that. So I'd say probably the chocolate sponge and chocolate custard or a Manchester tart takes me back to sort of my school days. And when you think back to them days now where you're like when

you're a kid you know you think like oh I've got to go to school and everything else but my god happy times no bills no worries no nothing it was just just wonderful. I feel like you're an optimist. I am, I am not too. And a romantic. I have yeah. Do you need a bit more cream? No no I'm right with this I'm right with this honestly. Yeah I like to see it's like I say it's kind of a weird thing if you go down

that rabbit hole with social media and news and just badness and I like to see a little bit of good in everything. I'm not walking around like I'm in a Murray Poppins, you know, I'm not doing that. But I like to think like, you know, predominantly there's more good people than bad people or else you won't be able to walk around half the time, you know, so that's what I cling on to really. And when you're doing live shows and everyone's laughing and you're in that room and then you speak to people who wait at the stage door after and you think, oh nice be a part of that you know what I mean it's just that's what keeps me going or else otherwise I'd bloody go in the spiral like that you know what I mean so. Are all your mates comedians? No but like my friends in telly a lot of them

in comedy and what have you but most of my mates who I'm friends with now I still went to school with. I used to work on a building site when I left school. I'm still friends with all those lads. And they're really funny, you know, I'll be in tears laughing. But it's difficult to do that on stage. Not everyone can do it on stage.

You know, we've all got funny mates. You go, they're hilarious, but you stick them with a mic in front of a room full of strangers it doesn't work so yeah I've got like there's a lot of laughter with me and my friends and stuff like that you know but but that's how I like it and then I like quiet days I like just I love I love doing nothing people are gonna do this oh I've got to do this, I've got to do that. But if you can have a day of nothing, just pottering around the house, and it just goes like that the day.

We can't, we've got to let you go. So thank you so much Paddy. I have had the most wonderful day, thank you very much for asking me along. What a treat this has been. Oh that's such a treat having you. Thank you, it's been so lovely. I'll go back to my room content. Good luck's such a treat having you. It's been so lovely. I'll go back to my room content. Good luck with the rest of the tour. I'm staying somewhere nice. I'm

staying in Soor. Nice. Yeah yeah yeah. You could nip out for a bit of action later. Look at you mum. Yeah. Got Moulin Rouge there. Oh my god stop. Enough. Thank you for the minute. You give me a little wink as you said it. They're burnt later. Good luck with the new shows. Thank you very much for that. Your tour. Thanks for having me on. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am now a podcast fan.

Oh, that him so much. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was so lovely and so generous and appreciative. And called me Mrs. Ware. I think because he didn't know your name, Mum. I think that was true, but I didn't want to kind of bring it up because I think he has the thing about being polite.

Well, he was very polite, but we loved having Paddy McGuittess on. He's obviously like the nicest bloke that gets, I mean, he's on every channel. Everyone likes him. Everyone wants to work withke that gets, I mean he's on every channel. Everyone likes him, everyone wants to work with him. Yeah I think he's a good bloke. We think he should do a podcast. Do you? I do. The food was delicious, your cheesecake was amazing mum. Was it? Yeah. I have to say shout out Mob because that was delicious. That was a good dinner party. That was a good for a main course. That was good. Dinner party. It was delicious, right? Yeah.

Thanks to everyone for listening and we'll see you next week.