Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S10 Ep 5: Grace Dent

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

The fantastically glamorous Grace Dent arrived in Clapham having already won mum over with her leopard print dress as soon as she step through the door. The broadcaster, author and restaurant critic joined us round the dinner table for mum's delicious harissa meatballs whilst mum and I fawned over her every word.We heard about her dad’s famous ‘Sketty’, her love of Angel Delight and a drink she describes as ‘Happiness In A Glass’ - a Pina Colada. The Masterchef regular tells us about growing up ‘up north’, her 'sarcastic face', memories of watching the Blackpool illuminations and how she can get into any restaurant she wants... We obviously exchanged numbers and I'm now will happily be her future plus 1. Her absolutely brilliant and touching memoir ‘Hungry’ is out on October 29th and is available to preorder now.Here’s the recipe for mum’s Lamb Harissa Meatballs: 1kg minced lamb2/3 thick slices of bread300 ml milkHandful of mint choppedHandful of parsley chopped1 tsp dry oreganoLarge tsp of cummin2 cloves of garlic crushedGrated zest of one lemon Sauce:3 cloves of garlic2 tbsp olive oil2 cans of tomatoes10 cherry tomatoes halved1 tablespoon of harissaHandful of basil Soak the slices of bread in milk for a few minutes. Add lamb, herbs, garlic and lemon and mix thoroughly with a fork. Make small balls of mixture( golf ball size) and put on a large baking tray. Make sauce by frying garlic, adding all tomatoes and harissa. Cook for 10 minutes. Whilst sauce is cooking, griddle or grill the meatballs until they are browned. Then put in sauce and cook for 20/30 minutes.  Sprinkle chopped basil on top before serving with mashed sweet potato and/or riceAutumn Courgette & Charred Sweetcorn Salad:6 small corn on the cob4 courgettes cut into strips or diagonal Bag of salad (rocket or ruby chard)Olive oil Sherry vinegar Pepper and salt100 grams fetaHeat oil in griddleGriddle then corn on cob until cookedThen griddle courgette to get nice stripesAllow to coolPut bag of salad in bowlPut courgette on top Strip the corn from the cob and add to salad. Add few extra chard leaves on top. Add sprinkle of salt and pepperDash of olive oil and a tablespoon of sherry vinegar Crumble feta on top Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm on my way to getting a little bit tipsy tonight. It's remarkable how excellent a glass of champagne can taste after you have not drunk for the whole week. Actually, I drank last night. That's a lie. Jessie and you drank on Monday at my birthday. Okay, I didn't drink on Tuesday. Do you know how much that sake was for that teapot? What? £29.

Sorry. Don't be sorry, but I just was astonished. It was very good. It was delicious. I have remortgaged the house to pay the bill, but besides that, it was wonderful. You were like, no, it's on me. I would have been having my Swiss on Nerf party.

This is on me. I'm so sad. My playlist I'd worked out as well. What was it? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Yeah, it was a bit of that. Did you just want everyone to have a massive orgy, Mum? Yeah, I just wanted to

dance and have fun and just dance to all the old Temptations and Four Tops and just have a great, great party. Oh, next year, Mum. Next year. Anyway, back to the podcast. We have a great, great party. For next year, Mum. Next year. Anyway, back to the podcast. We have a whopper tonight.

We've got Grace Dent, the restaurant critic and excellent writer who has her own memoir coming out called Hungry at the end of this month. And I've read it and I loved it. It was brilliant. It talks about her life growing up and getting into journalism and has so many nostalgic moments and about her relationship with her parents. I have to tell you, I think I feel dobbed in it a little bit.

Why? Because she's a bloody food critic. I know. And, you know, it's nerve-wracking. This is our second food critic. This is our second one. It's a bit nerve-wracking. And I just think that I'm sure she's going to be terribly nice but i've watched her a master chef she can be very mean so despite

my anxiety i've done lamb meatballs in a tomato harissa sauce lots of lovely herbs in lots of fresh herbs i've done rice and sweet potato mash. Okay, because yes, sweet potato is seasonal at the moment. And I love it. But I do find it problematic that we're going to have it with lamb meatballs. I'm sure it works, but I do love your microwave onion rice. I have done the microwave onion rice as well. So we'll see which Grace goes for. We'll see.

It's a bit like the Labner test with Tom Kerrigan. Yeah. And so I've done lamb meatballs in tomato and harissa sauce, a courgette and sweet corn salad with feta and ruby chard. And then for dessert, you told me not to do what I was going to do, which was a fig frangipane tart, something really haute cuisine for Grace. I'm doing bloody trifle everybody's told me she'd prefer it well look all i'm saying is when i got her book we got sent angel delight

with it a sachet of angel light and i haven't had it forever but alex where dr alex said that he felt like a trifle would serve grace dent better. Hit the spot. Actually, tonight's episode is in partnership with Sainsbury's and we've done a special segment at the end of the episode to tell you how I made all the food. What Grace talks about in her book is talking about how she loved going quite drunkenly with her friend and having, she's very into herring, or she was, and bagels. She's born again, Jew.

Born again, Jew. She talks a bit about some Jewish stuff and I thought that was quite funny. Jessie, I haven't got over Bake Off this week. Why, what happened? Rainbow bagels. Oh yeah. I'm very upset. Well, they're kind of trendy and Instagrammy, aren't they?

I don't like it, Jess. It's a travesty. That's not what you want your smoked salmon on. Bloody rainbow bagel. The gay community may say otherwise. I don't think the gay community need a rainbow bagel for affirmation that's all i can say i agree actually i might be i might be wrong but i would not want a rainbow bagel please let us know at hello at table manners podcast.com

whether you need that rainbow bagel in your life or you think it's slightly disgusting thinking about all the bloody coloring that's gone into that. I think you have to overwork the dough to get the colour to go through all the dough, so I don't understand how they made it work. Grey stent coming up on tablecloths. The other thing is, Jess, she likes a red lip. You better get yours back on.

Got mine on, darling. I've made zero effort. You've made the joy of a podcast. She'll look at those bloody shoes and think, Christ, where have I come to? Those are not fine dining shoes, darling. Actually, they're kind of what you'd wear in the kitchen. They're those Birkenstock clogs. Well, it just shows you that you can wear those things

and not do the job. Yeah. Hello. Hello. Come in. I don't know why I'm nervous. Oh, my God, why are you nervous? I don't know. Oh, my God. You're nervous? We're fucking nervous. We've got to feed you.

You're nervous? I've been having a heart attack all day. Nearly had to go on Valium. Cheers. Cheers, darling. Thanks for coming. To your good health, yeah. Thanks for making it through the door, babe. Oh, I know. Drink up.

We were more nervous than you. Everybody gets nervous when I'm coming for dinner. Yeah. That's what Joe Rayner said when we cooked for him. He was like, don't... You don't need to roast swans. I'd just eat anything. But he's your great fan and said you must have Grace on

because she's fabulous. Bless his heart. You know, I get to hang out with him a lot at MasterChef and we have a really good time. Like, they let us drink at MasterChef. Do they? Yeah. They let us have a little glass of wine when we're with the other day well they just they just kind of crack open a bottle and you're like i mean it will i often feel bad even mentioning it because i think that someone will

complain and then it'll be taken off us but i always you know i think that most jobs could be improved by being able to drink I have actually been in bed all day why have you you're okay have you got covid uh I haven't got covid I've got a hangover this is your first drink since this is my first drink and it's absolutely it's just it tastes like mother's milk it's just literally it's just taking the edge I think that's why I was like nervous outside well I haven't really been out and socializing almost all year we've been trapped in the house and people haven't been going out and then I met my friend Tom Parker Bowles for lunch yesterday and it was one of those where we met at one o'clock and we were still out at seven or eight and it wasn't like really late and it was one of those where we met at one o'clock and we were still out at

seven or eight and it wasn't like really late but it was still it was one of those sustained afternoon drinking sessions where you suddenly it was like it felt like old times in a really strange way where you suddenly get kind of hurled out back into soho you know and you're you know when you're out in exactly and you're just standing woosily in the street, like trying to look for your own taxi, but you have to put your hand over one eye to focus. W, three, two. And then when I got home, my bloke was just,

you know, obviously he was just eight o'clock to him, so he was normal. So then you have to be normal, but you're doing everything really loudly and kind of crashing and, you know. So I did get away with doing everything really loudly. And I kind of crash in and go, you know. So I did get away with it for a while. And then he just went, God, you're absolutely plastered, aren't you? What were you drinking?

Champagne, wine, gin and tonics. It was a shit mix of lots of things. And where did you eat? We went to Noble Rot in Soho. I've got to say, when I walked into Noble Rot yesterday, it was like being on Cheers. Like, I walked in and everyone's like, yay! And every table seemed to have somebody on it that I knew.

But it felt like everyone was just beginning to kind of come out a little bit. But we're all going to get chased back into the house. I mean, look... Do you think? I worry about, by Christmas, how many restaurants will still be up and going. I know. Because it's just, it's not just like the restrictions.

It's more people just losing the will to actually put your clothes on and go out when you've got to be back in a taxi by quarter to ten or whatever. And then the taxi's got a 2.6 surge on it you know that's what was happening last saturday night you know people were setting off in london and it was like 14 pounds on the way there and like 46 pounds on the way home and it's little things like that which will chip away and so the fact that places are just going to shut you know and uh you have

to have long lunches from 1 till 10. Exactly. And in a way, that's why I was being incredibly patriotic yesterday and keeping the country running. Of course you were. But I woke up this morning and I just, I mean, I just think, as I say again and again, I'm too old for all this shit. I've really, I go through a point where I'm really good

and I'm goody two shoes for ages and ages and I'm like you know I kind of I feel quite Gwyneth and and I kind of write pieces about how I'm really on top of things and you know I kind of use my pressure cooker and steam vegetables and and then I'm in the zone for a while and I wear smaller dresses and everybody tells me I look wonderful and then I just fucking go off the deep end again and then everyone's seen me and go, whoa, you look well. And I'm like, yeah, I've put a stone on again. It's like, it's that.

I'm kind of opened down. Well, you look particularly gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you. Fabulous outfit, gorgeous nails. I thought you usually wear a red lip or do you not? No, I always have generally big eyes and a neutral lip or one or the other

Oh that's what Jessie told me you should do I always think me and you I've got no makeup on today so I'm really sorry When I see you on things I've always, whatever you have on is always my type of skin tone and coloring.

So I always see her like on things. And I think, Oh, that's, we all have people who we kind of go, whatever you wear, I would wear. I say,

who else with Vicky, Vicky off line of just, she was at the hootenanny. No, I was there. And I accosted her really aggressively. And she's never been on the table. So she is so chic, isn't she?

She's amazing. I was walking past Marks and Spencer's once. And they had her in the window in about six different outfits, right? And like one thing led to another. And about 20 minutes later, I was like clomping out on Marks and Spencer's with all six outfits. Put them in my cupboard. You know, it's just that power of suggestion.

How funny. Well, that is a huge compliment. Thank you. But I wondered, about the red lip, I feel really embarrassed now because I've literally only got boy brow

on my bloody eyebrows because, well, I don't know. I was reading your book in the bath. I had the best afternoon ever. Oh my God. It's really wonderful.

I loved it. Thank you. How's your dad? Well, the headline is my father is still alive. I don't know. I mean, I haven't been able to really see him in lockdown. And I had this really big, and I'm sure anybody listening to this, we're all in our different levels of pain and bewilderment with

lockdown and not being able to see each other and uh and with this i had a big talk with my mother today and i said jesus you know we need to go in and see him but by the time we he's i don't think he'll remember us at all by now and if we go in we're going to be completely masked up and it just feels so like it would be easier to not upset him to that level and then we go in we're going to be completely masked up and it just feels so like it would be easier to not upset him to that level and then we started this big conversation and then we decided i said look i'm going to come up and even if i quarantine somewhere in the lakes and then come and then and then she rang me back and said no they've closed the whole home again oh so yeah so i'm like maybe but people that don't know the situation your dad has

dementia yeah he's got dementia and he's in a home now so yeah i mean he's um i've kind of lost him well with dementia you lose people in kind of the tiniest incremental steps over you know over weeks and weeks although it isn't really as linear as that sometimes because sometimes you lose them you lose them you lose them but then bits come back and it gives false hope and then it's it's just horrible the worst I really I really do think it's the worst but um so I think with the book you know isn't just about that it's uh it's a book about food and what we ate um what my family ate in the 70s and the 80s and the 90s in the north and uh and it's about it's about my dad and how much i love my dad and then you do start to kind

of see at some at some point during it's a memoir that things are just not all right with my dad but you know my dad was always pretty eccentric anyway like i as i always say i said for years to my mother i really think dad's got dementia and she said he's not got dementia grace he's just a dickhead right and like that was that was went on for ages i mean i think that people that are dead close to us are often eccentric anyway so how do you tell darling can you fill her glass oh god let's have her tell you what let's get you grew up in cumbria. Yeah. Which town? Carlisle.

Carlisle. Yeah. On the edge. It's very much the Manhattan of the Northwest. Very. So when you went on your hauls, did you go up north to the lakes or down to Blackpool? You see, oh, God, Blackpool, of course. I mean, whenever the sun shone, we were in Blackpool.

It's like Peter Kate always says this. You just end up like emotionally scarred as a child because every time the sun comes out, you get taken to Blackpool to go on the beach. So that's where I went for my childhood every Saturday. My parents would, I was brought up in Manchester. So every Saturday, my parents would take us off. My father would say, I think we'll go for a run out.

Saturday or Sunday. And we'd get in the car. We'd end up either in Blackpool or Lytham St. Anne's if we were being a bit posh. Okay. Do you know something? Recently, I've been thinking about moving to Lytham St. Anne's. Why? Because you want to play golf.

It's the food scene. No, I don't really know what's going on there. There is a food scene. I want to leave. I want to have somewhere else outside london and i keep thinking about rhythm and it's funny you've just said that when i was a kid people thought it was posh didn't they and that must be in my head i thought it was so posh northwest people thought rhythm was posh yeah how funny yeah so you went did you used to go to the lights that's my that was my question the illuminations so it's the best thing always and you had to you we would get it was always

raining you'd get loaded into the back of my mother's like maxi or cortina or whatever she was driving and then you would go down and yeah and then just drive very slowly and it was wonderful the illumination and the tram that came along the tram that was lit up was so fabulous and it yeah the best was if you ever had anyone with a sunroof and my dad would let me stand through the sunroof to watch it was just so fantastic it was magical you know i've been making these shows for bbc4 called what We Were Watching at Christmas. And we've kind of branched out to talking about, like, you know, summertime specials and things like that. And we get the chance to go into the BBC archive and get all these things out.

You know, get out the footage of people going to the lights or, you know, end of pier specials. people go into the lights or, you know, end of pier specials. And to me, I think it's quite magical, you know, because things aren't, you know, things are so much more complex now. Grace, I don't think you should end up with your weekend home at Lytham. You don't think I should go to Lytham? Do you not? Do you think I'm kind of, do you think I'm building a fantasy land in my... It's nostalgic, but I don't think it'll be...

Mum, I feel like we may have some living listeners. OK, we might have some living... And they may feel otherwise. You know, I don't know whether I want to go and spend all of my time back up in Cumbria. I don't know. Things are confused. I'm at a confused part of my life. But good, good confused.

But the arc of the book, yeah, it's about your relationship, your family, and particularly your dad and you yeah and i found that a really beautiful interaction i mean you sound like you were so close but yet there were things that were unsaid and that was really interesting too like some of the children yeah yeah all that you never talked about yeah i mean look my uh you know i hope that i pay my dad uh justice through. He's a really, really funny man. He's a proper scouse, properly funny, great timing. And he was sarky. And we had a thousand in jokes.

So yeah, it's about families. The book is about being in your living room and what a normal night in is actually like. That's why Gogglebox is good. you know what a normal night in is actually like but that's why goggle box is good that is what a normal night in and you know normal families just sit in the living room take the piss out of each other all night that's what we do so I wanted to examine that and uh yeah it's it's also about your journey as a journalist growing up and coming of age journalism and this like there's not so much about you being a restaurant critic it's like it's at the end but it's very much about family but

tell me about like the the initial the kind of opening is about sketti so sketti uh is my dad making spaghetti bolognese when i was a little girl one of the first things I ever saw anybody cook was this thing called sketchy this was really disgusting mince bought in a bag mince mince beef yeah he would chop an onion this was his one recipe every dance one one recipe he had one recipe and it was sketti and uh the sauce was made from uh so mince onion and uh the dream ingredient a tin of uh tomato campbell's tomato coagulated soup this is what we put that in oh yeah this is it this is it and then it would it maybe a bit of salt and white pepper from a canister like that we didn't up in the north in the 70s we we never

saw ground black pepper we no we didn't we didn't i don't think we even saw a tit in the 70s a tin of tomatoes if you wanted to add tomatoes to this sauce, it was a Campbell's cream. Did you love it? I bloody loved it. I loved it. It was just sweet, stodgy, sketchy. Can you make it? I mean, yeah, but I do shy away.

Can you cook, Grace? Yeah, I can cook. Yeah, I can cook. I mean, I'm a very capable, capable woman in the kitchen. I can properly, if you wanted me to lay down dinner for six people, six nights in a row, I can bloody do it. But do I have a water bath in my kitchen? No, I do not.

You know, am I, I'm not interested in kind of sitting in with a, you know, a Renny Renzepi. A sous vide. Yeah, I do not have a sous vide. It's that um i mean people like jr are very into that but i uh i i think that i always kind of make people laugh and go oh you know but if you wanted a shepherd's pie or a curry or a pie or you know a sunday roast i can do it and people kind of laugh but i think i sometimes think that that is overlooked in our society, that we praise men who can do these amazing, incredible, you know, cook this wonderful Michelin star.

But there has to be some middle ground between the people that can do the Michelin star cooking and people that can just cook and just cook, and there's millions of people that are too scared to cook, so therefore they can't cook a bloody thing. So I'm kind of a big uh I love to be very proud of the fact that I can make a shepherd's pie without a recipe but I think I'm a competent cook yeah I don't think competent but I'm a competent cook you're more than a competent cook okay no I can cook but I panic if you I've been really worried about cooking for you only because

yeah because i've seen you on master chef i know and i am an absolute bitch i've got what but do do they make you because a mole we we shouted we had a mole on and we shouted at him and i said a mole less of that you're really you're a nice south London boy and he said they edited to make me look meaner than I am well no you're really that bitch I am I am are you supposed to be do they say look you've got to play the bitchy bit no nobody uh on Masterchef tells you to do anything there's no direction whatsoever um I would I, I would definitely say that being mean is more interesting, probably. So whenever you do say an absolute zinger of a line, it does go in. And, you know, six months later, I'll be on Twitter and I'll suddenly see someone, people just going mental, like about what a bitch I am. mental like about what a bitch i am and it'll be like at some point i'll have been lovely lovely lovely all day lovely filming lovely just be trying to be so twee and lovely and then someone

will bring something disgusting and i'll go oh god i wouldn't serve that to my labrador or oh these churros they look like cat turds or whatever it is and then that'll be the line then they put that out but it is a bit like when people go on x factor or something and they can't sing yes you think why are you there you actually someone needs to tell you you can't sing so some but actually by the time they get to that bit where they serve the critics they should be they're supposed to be quite good it depends which one you're talking about you're talking about amateurs yes people some i mean look some food that we get served at amateur level is it really bad it's horrible i tell you the worst one is celebrity master chef celebrity master chef is

you don't need to hold back oh it's Like, some of the stuff that comes through, I'm actually still physically and mentally scarred by Sid Owen serving me gazpacho. He's supposed to be a crook! His gazpacho was just a tin of tomatoes, roughly chopped red onion,

and some garlic served cold, and I'll just always remember him. He was so nervous, and by the time he came through the door he was just you could hear him coming like really deep breathing and then putting the gazpacho down so just literally would you like to eat something yeah i can smell already that it smells absolutely amazing you know what this is the best thing my mom does this microwave onion rice. Oh my God.

It's the best. I mean, honestly, chicken stock, half an onion, rice, and jobs are good in. In the microwave, best. Oh, that looks so delicious. Sweet corn and courgette salad. So can I move in here for how long?

Oh, yes. I feel like this is the start of a beautiful relationship. This is it. I'm just going to edge this girl out before you know it. What are you talking about? I thought it was going to be me. I'll just be here every night going, just a minute.

You know, I live so far from my family and nobody cooks for me ever, hardly ever. I mean, when I'm not at restaurants, I mean in my house. So it's just like, I just feel like I'm sort of coming. I don't have to write anything about this. Oh, sorry. Grace, you always can. It's a different way when you go and eat out and you have to write about something.

Yeah, and everybody's really kind of waiting for your views, whereas that was just a big plate of happiness. After a tour girl who's been feeling a little bit fragile today. I'm glad it's worked. There you go. There you go, mum. There you go. Grace, I make happiness Grace I need to ask you we ask everybody

go on you're about to go off to a desert island you're about to have your last meal for a long time you get to choose it start a main pud drink of choice drink of choice would be a pina colada

which I think is happiness in a glass you and a more oragian there you go, pina colada one person orders it and everybody laughs and then everybody orders it and it sweeps through the entire bar I do like a glass of champagne

that's what I would have I think that you can never be truly sad if your fridge has got champagne in it if you've got like a few bottles of it I mean I like tattinger and I I'm sure there's a way of saying that that isn't like northwest England tattinger I love tattinger uh no I I'd have a bottle of champagne I would have a really my last my desert would be just something like a really good roast dinner with really great

roast potatoes I always say that the best Sunday lunch is the second Sunday lunch you have when everyone's gone

that's the best one in the sandwich you know like I was like so what you do is eat the gravy exactly you make Sunday lunch

for everybody you listen to all of their news when they come round, and then they all go. And that's when you change into a loose-fitting pant. And you move into the living room and you watch Antiques Roadshow with maybe a small... I'm going to say like a kind of a pasta bowl, like a pasta bowl with some microwaved, heated-up roast potatoes, maybe a slice of a pasta bowl like a like a pasta bowl with uh some microwaved heated up

roast potatoes maybe a slice of stuffing yeah maybe some chicken and some gravy and some kind so maybe hot maybe something hot like a little bit of mustard or something like that in it and then you sit there and they eat it alone and no one else can have it yeah i did maybe another little glass of red maybe a glass of red we're about to have trifle what would be your dessert would it be angel delight i absolutely love angel delight and i um have you had angel delight i've had angel delight and actually i haven't had it for a very long time mum is just whisking the cream in the background sorry i've had angel no i've had angel delight we used to have it in the house,

but I haven't had it for so long. And when we got your book, you had a little sachet of Angel Delight, which I actually haven't whipped up for my kids because I'm too scared if I give it to them, it's going to be like crack. She's going to demand it in her lunchbox. But I haven't had it for a while.

I think that it's probably not as great as anyone actually remembers it but you know it comes from a time when there was nothing else angel delight was was was widely uh sold before the big supermarkets came and you could get pre-made trifles and all these amazing things i don't know what's in angel delight but you can no one needs it's probably best never to ask actually i think you just you just make it with milk and then you just stick you don't know what's in Angel Delight, but you can, no one needs, it's probably best never to ask, actually. I think you just, you just make it with milk and then you just stick, you don't even have to stick it in the fridge. You can literally just stick it on the side and it's just, it's, it's space food. I mean, it's very clever and it's, and it's stood the test of time, but I don't actually know anybody who buys it still. No, no, no, I don't, I don't know who buys it.

I think it's mainly shoplifted um but i um i want to know more about being a restaurant critic okay because i want to know is there anything that has just pissed you off being on the menu you're like oh my god fucking assholes look i feel one of the problems with being a restaurant critic is that you're never allowed to have any problem about it. Because really, it is the greatest job in the world. It's like moaning about being Princess Margaret. You know, it's like moaning about winning the lottery. You know, it's an amazing job.

However, it is still a job. When it's your job uh there's plenty of things that piss me off you know and you know it pisses me off i review exactly like a punter going out i don't review like a critic and go oh i hope i hope i go out tonight and it's a really shit night so i can write a really funny shit piece i never think that right you know if i meet you and we go for dinner i don't which we are i don't think god it'll be so amazing tonight if we get there and the service is terrible and they ignore us for ages and then the food's shit and we both sit awkwardly looking at shit food no i, I go and I want it to be an amazing night. So, you know, I am constantly upset at people that open restaurants

that have no business opening restaurants. But I think that opening a restaurant is one of those dreams people have. Yeah. You know, and it's one of the stupidest things. You might as well go and throw money, you know, off a cliff. It's one of those things people think, oh, I would be so happy if we opened our restaurant but and I would just cook and people

would come and they would love me and it's not it's opening like a rowdy place where people come and block your toilet all the time with like toilet paper and then moan and then go home and slag you off on tripadvisor and you're there forever it's like you're in prison you're in there seven days a week people go mental so um i i do get annoyed all the time but i mean i do try to rein it in oh my god this is like a trifle yes from from boxing you see this is why you're going to get phased out because i appreciate the trifle right i look this is it if i was your daughter every day i would look really excited Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Mae'n dda. Kerridge's one at Kerridge's was fucking great. Yeah. It had white chocolate in it, which always causes me a little bit of concern. But it was fantastic. No, I don't think a trifle should have chocolate on it. I think that's a perfect trifle. What your mum has recreated is the absolute classic trifle. So many people try to mess about with a trifle.

What we want is, we want ladyfingers, we want jelly, we want custard we want lady fingers we want jelly we want custard we want cream and then we want something on the top to make it beautiful that's it what is it what so it's swiss roll and swiss and tins raspberries oh my god you're a woman after my own heart it has to be shop bought swiss roll you didn't i don't want to i don't want you making your own Swiss roll. No, I didn't. Jessie, help me. This is the thing. I feel like it's something that... Would you like some, Grey? I would love some. I would love some.

I love how... I'm so excited. It's so simple. Yeah. It's tinned raspberries with short-bought Swiss roll. I'm starting that much, because in case you're saying that much. And this is why I have much respect for you. You've got a macadamia instead of almonds.

I love you, mum. Whenever you make this, it makes me happy. And Alex was right, giving Grace the trifle. You can have some more, Grace. I'm very happy. Can you get a table anywhere at any time yes even in like the rule of six do you give your proper name don't you have to give like going with a mustache and dark glasses when you need a table well right because you don't want them do you want them to know your life they are always

well i don't book under my name if i'm going to review i don't go hello grace dent's coming however the minute i walk in they're gonna know it's me so you don't wear a mustache and dark glasses and well i've always thought about doing that but i think what people will say is why is grace don't wear any mustache look over into the corner uh i but then i always think that um when i walk in and people begin to realize it is me there's only so much a restaurant can do at that point to make things different better yeah yeah i mean they can maybe give you slightly better service get a few extra helpings but like even so extra helpings are not going to make any difference to me because the only thing that I have in abundance in my life is food. There's always food coming.

There is never. So if you give me a little bit extra of something, to me, I'm a bit like, I'm a bit weary of more food. Like, I don't want any more food. I just want little, little bits because I'm always kind of clawing back calories. So like if you ask, if you kind of sent seven or eight different extra courses, I mean, I always say that when you're in a restaurant for that long, getting sent that many different courses, if it's a tasting menu, especially, you'll end up with about 22 courses and that is technically kidnap. You know, you to leave by that point oh my god let me go um so can I get into anywhere normally yes and it embarrasses me however it embarrasses me to have to do it but I will uh if I really need to get into somewhere I would never do it myself I would get somebody else to say is the is there a space it's and there always seems to be and yeah somehow you sometimes get and you sit down on the seat and it's really warm and you know that some poor person's literally had their food

their dinner whisked from underneath them where would you go for your birthday celebration right for my uh because it was my birthday the other day and i just went with a couple of friends and we went to a nearby place called big joe it's a bakery a big bakery pizza place um i always go to different places i go to zedell quite a lot i love cafe zedell i love it is it brasserie Sadell I'll go for Jay's music Isn't that exceptional The atmosphere is great I don't think that the food has ever been the reason people go

You go to hear Jay play Nobody goes to hear Jay play I mean He plays even when he's not asked to be Asked to play If he's listening to this, which he will, because he hears everything I always say about him. No, look, I think that Saturday night in Brasserie Soudal,

just off Piccadilly Circus, you walk in, it's the most enormous dining room. I think it's the biggest dining room in London. And there's loads of tourists there's loads of london people there's drag queens theater people you know completely you know just normal kind of really nice nerdish families there's everybody is there and it's uh and when you walk in and there's music playing it's and and you know the the front of house there's tons of front of house and it's like crowd control for them you know they're just trying to get people in and out and it's just it's a it's a proper mood you know you go in and

you're like okay great cocktail yeah yeah like great drinks great great like wine it's good it's good so i i do sometimes i kind of go back there I wonder if I go back to remind myself why I keep staying in London you know because I've got a house in London and uh London is hard I think as you get older London loses a lot of its appeal do you think even though you I'm older I don't I love it you see yeah do you never kind of want to... Have you ever thought about Lytham? No, bloody haven't. Let's hope you have, Grace. Thank God.

I'm so glad I met you because you completely talked about Lytham. Can you imagine? I'll probably ring you in about six months and go, thank you so much. Just saved myself like £500,000 or something and I'm bloody going to buy somewhere in Lytton. Because... And I've been sitting there in my kitchen going,

oh my God. Why am I in Lytton, you'd be saying. There's some good restaurants up there though. I think it's like I miss the North. I really miss... Yeah. I miss... I love Manchester.

I miss the North West, you know. What's your idea of a fun night out apart from Brasserie Zadell? My idea of a fun night out apart from Brasserie Zadell um my idea of a fun night out is going out with my uh very small clique of friends um the people that are actually normal people who are my actual friends who are like actually lovely who is just a very small clique and uh probably just going out for something very simple like pizza and lots and lots of red wine that's the thing that i've missed the most um during lockdown it's not it's not the big things it's not the big things i like that you know when everyone's just arriving and it's it could it's not pizza express

it could be pizza express though you know and to just sit around and just to have a little bit too much of that like really crap red wine and I like that feeling of kind of just like spilling out into the street and hugging each other. You can't do that. These are the things that we all... That's what I miss, you know? I want to know your karaoke song, if you have to. Jessie won't have anything to do with it.

I would. Karaoke. You have to choose a song by people who sing in a way that you can kind of pull off. For me, Heather Small from M People. Shut up. Your voice is like a bird. Literally anything by M People.

Have you got a deep voice? I might do Moving On Up. I might do. Would you? I might do. What's your one night in heaven? I might do One on up. I might do. Would you? I might do. One night in heaven. I might do one night in heaven. I might do one night in heaven.

One night in heaven. One night in heaven. Wow. Her voice is very loud. But does it matter? Because everyone's... No, it doesn't matter. I'm one of those people that I'll go,

oh, I'm not doing karaoke. I'm not doing karaoke. I'll come along. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. And then I get the microphone and I'm like... karaoke I'm not doing I'm not doing karaoke I'll come along I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna do it and then I get the microphone and I'm like and I'm just like

and then I'm kind of swatting people off like trying to you know I love I actually love karaoke you do MasterChef would you ever want to

do your own show? oh god desperately yeah I mean I desperately do I kind of what's next then? the memoir is coming out

at the end of this month well you know i just kind of i do yeah i do want to do my own thing you know i watch i watch it all the time and i watch other people doing other things and i think god you know i want that and you know i'm always kind of being told by tv execs that i'm a breath of fresh air but i mean they mean common that's what they actually mean no No, they don't. No, they do. They actually do. They're like, oh, God, you're such a breath of fresh air as a restaurant critic. I don't know.

Let's see. I mean, I'm making pilots all the time. Who knows? But you are. You're a star. You are. You are. Like, I kind of feel like you should. Everyone.

I mean, I know you are. The thing is, but you're not a bitch. To be honest, you're absolutely not. Slightly disappointing. Could have been a bit harsher. I honestly think I am not a bitch, but what I have on television and in real life is a very sarcastic tone of face.

You're exactly right. I've got, like, literally... A sarcastic face. I've got a sarcastic bitchy face right and people come up to me all the time and they think they're being nice and they come from they go oh i love you on telly you're just like my sister-in-law she's a right bitch and i think i finally get that you know and i think i do have this kind of but i did this as a child as a child i've always had this presence i am a bit darth vader when I turn up, I'm a bit like, you know,

and it's all a bit, I do, I think it's the way I hold myself. I've got a sarcastic tone of face. Grace Dent, do you have good table manners? I think I have the best table manners because I've got good posture. And if you have good posture, you can get away with anything. You can still be sitting at the bar at 2 15 in the

morning absolutely off your head and as long as you've got good posture everybody believes that you're just princess margaret and not you know you know that's it literally ever had on i have so i have great great table manners you've got such a straight you are quite real it's just correct it's just quite i don't know it's just yeah you do have like a big bosom so you think that maybe that i think it's like she's not got a big bosom she's got a normal bosom you have no bosom they are like no they are they are just absolutely like they are they they fluctuate and at the moment they are enormous i've just literally been to greece and i had to find a swimming costume i've been to greece twice this summer the first time i went i went with my friends and her children and they were so appalled when i came

out in a bikini that they just were so appalled so i need to go and find a proper adult swimming costume and the second time so it was it was like this this time and it had like big underwires and stuff to try and keep them in place anyway so that's me that's my tits oh my god that's me that's me that's my tits uh grace it's been been such a pleasure to have you. And I'm glad that you didn't run away at the door. Yeah. Guys, I was scared at the door. And I realize now that what I actually needed was a nice dinner and a good laugh and a glass of wine.

And that's what you lot gave me. I've had such a nice time. I just feel like I've been here like 10 times before. It's very strange. You can come again. Basically, Mum, I didn't think Grace Dent and I were going to be such marvellous friends, but here we are. She's given me her mobile phone number.

I'm about to text her. She left about five minutes ago. And the rest is history, as they say. New bestie. I mean, I'm going to be the John Turowd to her Greg Wallace. I want her life. I want her life. Darling, your life's OK. I did all the. I want her life. Darling, your life's okay. I did all the bloody cooking.

Your life is fine, girl. Must tell you, I'm quite tired. Just imagine that being your work. Like, I'm just going to go and eat. I think it would spoil eating out, though, wouldn't it? We should have asked her that, shouldn't we? Yeah. Grace Dent's book, Hungry, is out at the end of the month,

I think October the 26th. Darling, she did like her food. Yes. She wasn't sniffy about food. No. What I've made. She was, like, enthusiastic. More enthusiastic than when she's on MasterChef?

The professionals that you're trying to say. Yes, I think she was, darling. She needed it. When she closed the door, she said, Thank you, I needed this tonight. And I thought, you needed the touch of the Lenny she was such good fun wasn't she i had leopard print on had high heels on had her hair in this like heels great scaffolding just fantastic lovely girl loved her also listen i want to actually this is close to my heart a friend of mine rosie saunt who's a nutritionist and actually her she's called saunt

because she's married to aunt saunt who lived down the road from us in clapham and bizarrely they did my hen do when i was going through a gluten-free episode um they did a gluten-free supper club that was delicious so anyway we've kept in touch and we know each other and they had a beautiful boy called enzo who had leukemia and sadly passed away this april he was ill for a very long time and he fought and fought and they've started this campaign called blood for enzo which is just trying to spread the word about trying to get people to give blood because blood banks need it the nhs need it and so if you're able to give blood in little enzo's name it's amazing but if you're not just spread the word it's hashtag blood for um the number enzo e n z o and just wanted to send them my love because they're doing amazing

work in his memory and i've seen her on instagram reposting all these people that have not given blood before and they have in memory of little enzo so i'm sending them love i've never given blood and from this campaign i've put my name down but i can't get a slot at the moment what they say is don't worry about not being able to get a start it's really helpful if you tell them your blood type because certain places need blood types are they open they're open and they're everywhere you look millwall have a blood bank area like the football club there's so many that you wouldn't you put in your do you know where

your nearest one is well yeah i put in my postcode and you just go and on the nhs website give blood blood for enzo sending love to rosie and anne and thinking of little enzo so yeah anyway we don't do that that often but i just thought it was a really important cause. Thank you, Grace Dent. We love you. The book is amazing and your company is brilliant. I just would love to see you in action in a restaurant, to be honest. Actually, I'd just like to see you again.

Please call me, reply to my text. And everyone, I hope you're enjoying this. The music that you listen to, the brilliant table managed music is by Peter Fraser and Peter Duffy. And thank you for listening. Jess, can you put those in that cupboard there, please? Jess?

Yeah? Just put those up. Oh, my God. Why is custard so delightful? Hello. So, this is a new little segment that we've decided to do for this. We've decided to tell you how we've made the main today. Big love to Sainsbury's, who have the most fantastic seasonal produce and who have sent us all the ingredients for today's

episode mum the menu was harissa meatballs lamb meatballs lamb meatballs with a tomato and harissa sauce yeah with a I think very autumnal salad tell me why it was autumnal my mother corn on the cob is delicious at the moment. It's just sweet and gorgeous and in. And courgettes are also gorgeous at the moment. They're in abundance. They're in abundance. I griddled some courgettes and I griddled whole sweet corn,

then took the sweet corn off the cob. Yeah. And I put it on a bed of ruby chard. And I put a few ruby chard leaves on the top, which makes it look like autumn leaves. How thoughtful of you. That oat cuisine. But the, and I'm going to say the sweet potato. Which I think is slightly questionable, but I know it's in season at the moment.

I love it. It's in season and it tastes great. Where did you have lamb harissa meatballs with sweet potato? I think it was in a Moroc the moment. I love it, it's in season and it tastes great. Where did you have lamb harissa meatballs with sweet potato? It was in a Moroccan restaurant. Okay. And so the meatballs are super easy. Tell me how you made them because I didn't make them. No you didn't. No. It was minced lamb. Yeah. Two big slices of bread, sandwich bread soaked in about half a pint of milk. Does it matter if it's white or brown? No, I use brown, but I'm sure you could use white. I did ask you to put those up, darling. What did you ask me to put up?

Those away. Oh, sorry. So it looks neat. Sorry, I'm the, what do you call the kitchen porter? That's what I am. The kitchen porter, yeah. Go on. Will that go anywhere?

Yeah. No. Well done. Right, okay, yeah. And so I mixed the mince lamb yeah with two slices of bread that had been soaked in half a pint of milk yeah I put in a handful of parsley that was chopped a handful of mint chopped I then put does it matter if it's fresh or dry what did you use fresh or dry I used fresh because I think it was nicer I used some some oregano, dried oregano, and I put in some cumin.

You could have done cumin seeds and ground them up. And then I just made the meatballs and char-grilled them on the stove first to get a nice brown colour. And then I made the sauce, which is just basically two tins of fresh tomatoes about a packet of cherry tomatoes chopped up and three cloves of garlic and oh I forgot the garlic in the lamb so just hopefully Grace isn't going out for a hot date after this. There's garlic on garlic so there's two cloves of garlic in the lamb um it was it's really easy recipe yeah i think we'll put it in the notes of this episode yeah and we'll put it also on our instagram okay the size of the meatballs are about you'd say bigger than golf balls so there's no

onion in this sauce how do you make the sauce just with garlic two tins of tomatoes and a bag of cherry tomatoes that I cut up to give it a bit more freshness and it's also got a handful of parsley chopped in that as well as basil and I just cooked that for about 30 minutes and then put the meatballs in and cook them for 20 minutes they'd already got brown char grilled before put them in. But I think it's a really nice autumnal dish. It's warming. It's warming, but there's still a hint of summer. Hanging on for dear life. Hanging on for dear life.

Will you... I mean, with the salad, you could... We were talking about whether we should put chilli in it. Yeah, I think you can put chilli in it, but I want to put a dressing on and some feta cheese on top. Because I thought it would be nice, the feta with the meatballs. I'm not a confident chilli user. You are, aren't you, Jessie?

Yeah, but I'm fine to not have it in. Yeah. So I guess optional is a bit of red chilli. Tiny, tiny, tiny sliced red chilli. And what's the dressing on the salad, Mum? Sherry vinegar, a little olive oil and a tiny bit of honey. And mustard? No. I didn't want to overpower the gorgeous ingredients, darling. Okay. And so, and feta on top. Got it. All right. I love autumn. Why? It's because it's your

birthday. It's been your birthday. It's been your birthday. It's been my birthday. It's been, yeah. It's a bit sad, this birthday. Why? Because it was my soisante nerf and I was going to have a big party. And I feel that we might have to play this episode out with 60s music. I thought you were going to say something else, Mum, and I was going to really rein you in. What?

Anyway. But I like autumn because, yes, my birthday's here i love halloween especially now i've got kids we're already planning the outfit she wants to be able to do it she wants uncle alex to be a pussycat again this year my brother at the halloween party last year got like the most sexy pussycat outfit ever it was incredibly inappropriate for a child's party and my daughter pulled him around like he was her little cat um so she says that he should be there I don't know if that's a good idea for the new neighborhood instead I think we're going to go for Pinkie Pie which I now have learned that she wasn't just being incredibly original with her cat name it's actually a my little pony character so yes and i like walton because i think the produce is amazing i'm loving

the fact that squash is everywhere and it tastes the best i've been having loads of squash and sage and i tell you what apples are tasting the best. I know. Cox's apples. Did you not ever know? Cox's apples are the best in the whole wide world. They're tasting insane at the moment. Yeah. I can't eat them with my veneers. I could cut them up for you like I do for the kids.

You'd need to. So I'd end up with two veneers stuck in them. And mum, I feel like as the good Jews that we are, Sukkot. Sukkot. It's all about harvest yeah harvest festival but it is lovely to have lovely corn and courgettes it is the best time and if you taste that sweet corn from Sainsbury's it is so sweet it's proper sweet corn and I don't know the cooking it child grilling it makes it even sweeter but it's divine it's just lovely and I think it's so easy to just

kind of cut it off the bone because my veneer's out but yeah I mean it's my favorite season everything that's beautiful and everything's tasting really great and it's kind of like oomphy yeah do you remember last this time last year we went to the pumpkin patch we're going again I don't know who knows um and we did a pumpkin we had loads of pumpkins because i went slightly over the top um we did a pumpkin chai cake instead of a kind of carrot cake we did pumpkin it was lovely and it was really moist moist um isn't there's that that lovely keats poem about autumn and about the moist air and

yeah the word moist crops up a lot in that poem sorry I thought we were doing table manners for a second okay sorry sorry Radio 4 back in the road anyway it's been a real pleasure to explain one of Lenny's recipes she did cook it

I did nothing can I just say that I was for pudding I want to do a fig and frangipane tart which is just um saying fig with almonds and I was really looking forward to making it Sainsbury's sent me the most delicious figs that I've eaten at least four and we vetoed it yeah and you vetoed it so I've made a trifle which is super easy it's the one in our cookbook actually with raspberries swiss roll custard and lop cream on top but can we say why we chose the trifle we were it was your birthday um on Monday we went out for dinner um your son said when we went through the menu dinner your son said when we went through

the menu with your son when we got to Fig and Frangipane he said no no no no no I know Grace Dent she won't want that how does he know her? because he's read her he's read her articles

so we went for the more humble modest trifle which I love and i'm really happy but actually now i'm quite quite regretting the fact that you didn't do the fig in frangipane it looked beautiful the fig in frangipane and of course figs are seasonal and say sainsbury's sent the most delicious one but they have not been wasted because i've eaten them oh they have you got any more yeah there's four left oh you didn't oh there you go do you want one prince no thank you to sainsbury's for providing us with fabulous ingredients and letting this be quite a fun little extra bit to the episode if you want us to do this more often

let us know yeah we will we will put this recipe up in the notes of the episode and also on Instagram. But also, if you have any ideas for what we should be cooking this autumn, seeing as we do about three podcasts a week at the moment, we'd love to hear from you. Email us your best autumn dish at hello at tablemannerspodcast.com. And if you don't have any ideas and you need some then sainsbury's.co.uk have loads of really brilliant and tasty recipes at a very reasonable price too so if you haven't got um an autumn recipe go and check them out on the website thanks again to sainsbury's for sending

the most delicious ingredients it's been such a pleasure to use them. Thank you for listening. The music you've heard on Table Manners is by Peter Duffy and Pete Fraser. Table Manners is produced by Alice Williams.