Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S11 Ep 28: Ruby Wax

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

This episode was recorded a while back but its worth the wait. Actress, author, comedian, writer, mental health activist & all round fabulous woman Ruby Wax popped over to mums for some Salmon & Ginger coriander crumb - from the cook book of yours truly. We discuss how she only ate sausages as a child, not leaving the house without honey in her handbag, inviting Obama over for dinner, hanging out with Alan Rickman & how she created the fantastic Frazzled Cafe meetings. Ruby’s book ‘And Now For The Good News’ is out now and it’s brilliant, go and give it a read. X Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm here rather relaxed with my mum who's a little flustered. I'm not flustered, I'm just not as relaxed as you are darling. You're a bit pissed off aren't you? No I'm not. I'm a bit tired. Takes about that CBD oil that you've been enjoying this week. Darling, can I just tell you? What? 4-5 CBD oil. I bought it on the recommendation of my lovely hairdresser, Emily. And I think it's miracle oil. Well, that is not an ad for 4-5 CBD, but I'm really glad that it's improving your joints.

It is. And I wish you'd listened to me two years ago. Yeah, it is. It's really helped. Definitely, definitely, without doubt, has taken the extreme pain out of my... You know you can put it into food, Mum. I'm not going to put it in food.

Why not? I'll put it under my tongue. Yeah, but put it into food, Mum. I'm not going to put it in food. Why not? I'll put it under my tongue. Yeah, but put it into food and then just... I don't know. I don't need to have any more cannabis, darling. I've got enough already. Anyway, what are we cooking today? I've decided...

I say we as the royal we. I'm sorry, it might sound retro to you, but I'm using Table Manners Cookbook. Mum, you've been doing that all throughout the season. Yeah, well, I'm'm using i'm doing the chicken with ginger and coriander crumb it's not chicken no it's not chicken are you all right cbd the salmon suddenly turned into a chicken um i'm doing salmon yeah with ginger and coriander crumb so who have we got coming up on the podcast

today mom i would call her a jewish princess but i think she's more of a jewish queen i'd say so definitely she's a comedian an activist mental health ambassador a therapist therapist yeah um has an obe for her contribution towards mental health services. Author and has a new book out called And Now for the Good News to the Future with Love. And I'm very interested to hear about what she says about it. There's a lot about to do with organisations and communities that she has found doing amazing things out in the world.

So don't give up on the world just yet. Ruby Wax coming up on the world just yet ruby wax coming up on table mammoth ruby wax is come in after the worst journey ever. I've been stuck in traffic and that's horrible. I've aged. And I'm shaking. Said she could have got to New York in the time it just took to get over the Albert Bridge. So you're here and you're applying makeup because you're...

Because it's a podcast. But you look gorgeous. You see how simple it is? Oh no, you do look fantastic. Now you look like Cleopatra, you look fantastic. Cleopatra, I can't see the eyeliner. How do look great. Now you look like Cleopatra. You look fantastic. Cleopatra. Yeah. How do you do that?

I can't do that little... That was very quick, Ruby. I'm used to doing it in the car when I'm driving. And I got busted once. Uh-oh. They didn't. I got busted. He said, not only are you on the phone, but you're also putting on mascara.

Oh, you were driving? Yeah. Oh, right. And I said, my mother's had a heart attack. She didn't say that. the phone but you're also putting on mascara oh you were driving yeah oh right and uh i said my mother's had a heart attack she didn't say that and then he said can i escort you and i said i'm going to the hospital and he said you're going the wrong way because i was going to my girlfriend's house oh my god so i said i have to pick up something and i had an escort going the wrong way to get me the hospital i wasn't wasn't. I was going to Bermondsey Market.

Are you not superstitious? They actually did the escort. Part of the way. Was your mother still alive at the time? She was dead. Oh, she was dead, so it was okay. So it's okay. Because you could have put a horror on her,

as my mother would have said. No, I did that. So how are you, apart from horrendous? I'm good. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. Are you okay? Do you want your tea?

My book came out again. I'm very nervous. Thank you. Why are you nervous? Well, because there's so many books coming out, and I'm scared that the baby will get lost in all the books. You're going to be fine. You're a huge author, and you're a huge star.

Okay. Well, I'm going to go home now because that makes me feel good. I'm really interested in the food part in the book. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just because, obviously, this is about food. Food. There was something about Brixton in it, about the organization in Brixton. There was one nearby and we're very near Brixton now.

And also, I was wondering, Alice listened to you on the radio. Yeah. And you were talking about community, which is another part in the book. Yeah. You were talking about this community gardening. Oh, yeah, I'm going there next week to live for a month. Where is that? In Findhorn.

But there's, I went, see, the book isn't about good news, ha ha, like let's do a smiley face because somebody saved a sardine. The book is called Good News because I went kind of around the globe to find where people were doing things that were good, we not just good, but if we pay attention, this is going to reinvent business, how we teach kids how we eat, how we do community. So these are the inventors. So I wrote another chapter on communities and how there are eco-communities. There's 10,000 of them, and they're not what you think.

Some of them are very luxurious, but it is zero emissions, and it's all with solar paneling. And all the things environmentalists talk about that we don't really know what it means, they do it. They know how to turn your sewage into gardens. So I'm going to go live there for a month.

It's 600 people, so I'm not alone. And I'm going to work in the vegetable garden and the foods, because I'm not a gardener either, and the food goes to a food bank. And then it's... Whereabouts is it? Findhorn is above Inverness.

Oh, God, it's going to be freezing. Don't. It's going to be terrible. I know. I have heating things that I'm going to put in my underpants. But it's the coolest place I've ever been to. Are you going to document it? Are you going to film something?

No, I'm going to write about it, but I'm going to go off grid. So I won't be online anymore. I mean, I won't use my, except for my Frazzle Cafes. And otherwise I don't do, I won't be doing emails. Yeah, I want to talk about Frazzle Cafe because you've created this, your own community and network, which originated in Marks and Spencer's. Marks and Spencer's cafes, right?

And you meet up and anyone could come and people would kind of talk about their mental health issues. No, you're not, you cannot be in the midst of a mental illness because we're not there, we're not doing therapy. So it's like AA in that there's a shape to the meeting you don't just you know we've had them uh every two weeks when they were in cafes and they have a facilitator so they've got each other's backs and they'd meet every two weeks where did you train as a what are you trained as as a therapist yeah but i never psychotherapist

as a psychotherapist but also as aotherapist, but also as a mindfulness. Yeah. I got my master's at Oxford. But I never did it. I use it in shows. And I didn't ever do small groups. Or I wrote about it in Frazzled. And I talk about it in And Now for the Good News.

Because like probiotics, mindfulness, it sounds so vegetarian. No, I don't think it's a tool. I think it's amazing. Most imperial evidence that it changes the brain. But don't get me wrong, it's not for everybody. You know, we're all different. But when they do research, it could have been anything. It could have been crystal healing. But turned out that mine well it

was meditation changes your brain for the better yeah i wanted to ask you for somebody who's like you know listening to the podcast who isn't heard the word mindfulness like where was where is a good entry point for somebody who kind of has heard this term but to access it i mean for me personally i guess headspace yeah go to headspace my thing i think it's a really it's not um it's like an um shrinking light but you know it's training wheels but eventually the training wheels have to go off if you want to read the real deal you could read um mark williams who was my professor or my book frazzled because it's everything he taught me, but I spin it into comedy,

or Jon Kabat-Zinn. I mean, go to the guys who created it, but if you want to just do it for your amusement. Otherwise, you have to go on an eight-week course, and that's how you learn mindfulness. But it has to be from somebody qualified. Yeah, I quite like... And you check where that person went to school.

Yeah, at one stage, I thought person yeah one stage i thought i wanted to train to do mindfulness because being a social worker i thought it would be really helpful that's a two-year course but it's a two-year course and i don't think i've got time and i demand too much of you doing yeah and is there any online frazzle cafe they're all online now so i run it every night well i did run it every night. Well, I did run it every night. Now I do Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So you go on frazzlecafe.org and you write it. You sign in and I do the meetings. It's for about 50 to 80 people.

And I begin and end with a mindfulness exercise. And then it will break your heart because it's people all colors, all ages. They speak. I always say, what's the weather condition in your mind? And they speak straight from the heart. There's no bullshit. We're not allowed to say, here's what I would do. It's not analysis.

It's talking space. And then there's breakout sessions where now small groups of four or five meet. And sometimes they come back in afterwards for 15 minutes. They do that. And then there's breakout sessions where now small groups of four or five meet, and sometimes they come back in afterwards for 15 minutes. They do that, and they tell me what happened in those breakout rooms. And it's magnificent. Some people are very reticent, saying, I never speak out loud, but now I feel everybody likes me, and so I feel I exist. And then other people are very extrovert and they're having a good time, but then they feel so guilty. Other people are

locked in with their kids. An older woman can never go out, you know, but she says, every time I'm on here, you feel the love like you do when you bang those pots and pans. That's why I do it, because these are my people. I don't even know them, and they're my people. What are the age groups? Everything. It's completely diverse. Yeah, completely diverse.

And when somebody, let's say, elderly speaks, the young people are nodding their heads. Oh, yeah, I have that too. What's about connecting? It's AA, but people are just frazzled. I mean, frazzled doesn't mean, I but people are just frazzled you know i mean frazzled doesn't mean i've said this in frazzle it's not stress we're supposed to be stressed it's for it's stress on top of stress it's when you think oh my god i'm not good enough nobody else is as stressed i'm a

loser the the dialogue in your head or the monologue is a whole new phenomena people didn't really worry about what they were doing before they just did it i wanted to know ruby what was kind of growing up in your household when you were younger what were you eating crap my dad was a sausage casing uh king so he made because he was from vienna they made viennese yeah he oscar meyer was in the factory below my dad and he had he drove around in an 80 foot hot dog and that was the symbol of um the business yeah and he oscar meyer would give my dad lives home in the oscar meyeriener wagon, and the horn went, every American will know that. It was a song.

I'm not going to sing it. For Oscar Mayer, and he would give my dad a lift home, so I had no friends because they'd pull up in the driveway in an 80-foot hot dog. So I had no friends. But they were made out of pig bladders and sheep bladders and cow bladders that's what real case wasn't jewish was he or was he because they made bacon oh yeah but so did my dad oh so did your dad no i mean he made everything i always say you know he he put the farmyard in a blender and

stuffed it into a condom i mean he didn't care but um these were uh you know like grandma savannas did you like those sausages i love them and he wouldn't let me eat sausages without real casings you know the plastic yeah and we'd be in restaurants and he'd say have you got my sausage casings like they do it's you know a restaurant and then he'd say that's it i'm walking if they didn't have real cases did they used to you know they a restaurant. And then he'd say, that's it, I'm walking. If they didn't have real cases. Did they used to, you know, they were very pink. Did they dye it to make it that pink? The fake ones they did, not my dad's.

My dad's were the real deal. So did you eat a lot of sausages? I only ate sausages. And my dad, once there was a sausage, and my mom put two small sausages on the side with toothpicks and said it was a chicken. Because I was complaining. And then my dad had a heart attack because of eating the sausages.

But we kept on going. Sausages and Wonder Bread. Do you know what kind of a diet I had? And my mother couldn't cook. So I once saw the claw of a chicken. She was boiling it. So I once saw the claw of a chicken. She was boiling it.

So, okay, so family meals weren't... Well, I mean, you liked the sausages, so it was kind of okay that you were living on a diet of Wonder Bread and Sausage. But when you're a kid, what choice do you have? I thought that's how everybody ate. Are you a good cook? No, I can't cook at all. Would you like something to eat, Ruby? Yes.

Yeah, because today today so today you bless you you usually you said that you usually carry honey in your bag yeah but you it you have a block of cheese in your bag instead but that's an accident but that's fine but you went to borough market today and did you eat at borough market today or did you just pick up bits and bobs i picked they give free things. So I just picked with my children because I'm Jewish. So we know how to pick. But I do do that anti-inflammatory diet where you eat different coloured vegetables,

you know, getting bacteria. And I don't do the Kaminshi or whatever that drink is made out of urine and peppers or whatever. Kombucha? Yeah, kombucha. I haven't gone there yet. Have you not have you not tried it it's disgusting you know what you can do you have some ones i haven't got it here but i actually think you can get all right well i haven't found it but i know it's good for you i know sauerkraut's good for you but you really it really is just about different colors and getting variations so you don't eat the same old same old because then your bacteria goes oh

it's incoming again so what's like what did you have for breakfast today if we were you doing the inflammation diet diet today inflammatory diet i mean is it a kind of way of life now that it's kind of just yeah but it's just it's it's logical you know i, but I eat normally. It's not weird. So if you're not cooking in your house, who's cooking? Or are you getting quite a lot? Ed cooks. And my husband cooks. Yeah.

I'm so excited. And what does, like, Ed's a good cook? Your husband? I guess so. I mean, we're not into the whole, you know, gourmet. No. And then he washes up. How lucky am I? That's her dream he's the

dream does he work yeah he's making a film now but um in the evening i make him do it you've got this sorted i got it sorted uh-huh what's the secret we have different lives like i'm going to finhorn and he's making a film you know and then you have things to talk about because you meet back and you go how was your month away? And I don't have to go, we have different friends. I don't have to like his friends.

He doesn't have to like mine. That's it. There's no we. We never call each other we. Do you do things together then? Yeah. He's my best friend. I don't know how he can stomach me. Because you're brilliant. No.

I make him laugh once a year. That's his payment. Yeah, I throw him a laugh. Have you done it this year yet? I think so, yeah. So I'm done. We ask every guest the question that I'm sure you're dying to answer. Before you go to a desert island, you're having a last... Or before you go to a desert island

or before you go to Findor before you go into Findor are you going to have a special meal? no so if I was to ask you to choose a starter, a main and a pudding and a drink of choice

that would be your dream meal an espresso martini ribs I don't even eat meat anymore and a drink of choice that would be your dream meal? An espresso martini. Okay. Ribs. Ooh. And I don't even eat meat anymore. I mean, not for any reason. I just, you know, it wasn't chic, I guess.

But ribs would be on there. Where? Who made them? Oh, American ribs. Yeah. You know, none of this. Big ones, yeah. Well, no, ribs, you know.

And then a hot fudge sundae. Where from? America. Do you get back home a lot? Mm-mm. Do you miss it? No. I've been here too long.

And this place is too cool. You know, it's got irony. Yeah. But where were you from in America? Evanston, Illinois. But I didn't fit in there. No irony. Nope, didn't fit in.

Hated by cheerleaders. Was alone. That's why I like community, and I'm always looking for it. There are a lot of Jewish people in Evanston. Skokie. That's where the Jews are. And were you brought up in kind of a Jewish way? Uh-uh. No.

They didn't really push it. And I was so closed down that I didn't really take in a lot because I was traumatised. They were nuts. Your family? Yeah, read a book called How Do You Want Me? That's my first book. It's so nuts that I didn't even have to change their lines.

It came out of their mouths like that. Nuts, yeah. Well, you were an only child. Mm-hm. So you were ready to move. You left and... I ran away, yeah. Well, you were an only child. Mm-hmm. So you were ready to move. You left and... I ran away at 18, and they kept trying to get me back. My dad would say, come on, Ruby, you're a sad sack.

I'll fix you up with a linen, job in the linen business. So I worked and worked and worked to get away from home. So I'd never have to go back. That's how I got successful. No talent, but I had drive. And was the UK always the place that you wanted to be? I wanted to marry one of the Beatles. You did?

Yeah. Which one? Paul. Do you still like him? When I met him, this is how I talked to him. like him when i met him this is how i talked to him i can't use language even though because i was so overwhelmed overwhelmed and how did that work out for you didn't didn't really work and then i got really drunk oh so i was gabbling at him oh my god, and all I remember was saying, this is pathetic. It was a party for something, and you could take buffet, right? Buffet.

It was a buffet, and then you could sit at any table, and I sat at his family's table. And Ed came, and I said, fuck off. Your husband. I was near Paul, and then I started drinking a lot and bored everybody senseless until I got next to Paul everybody left

because I was gibbering and then Paul was talking this is all I remember he was saying yes and then he was in Hamburg of course I know he was in Hamburg I studied Paul but instead I went yeah yeah yeah

enough about you. I remember when I was at Beverly Hills High School taking shorthand. That came out of my mouth. Was that a flirting tactic? That's enough about you. I was in Beverly Hills night school taking shorthand. Why did you use that tactic? There's a funny story

connected to it, but I never got to the funny story. I think he left and he said goodbye to me and I was under the table. He lifted the tablecloth and said bye. Well, that's polite. That's very polite of him. Don't talk about it. Who did you like?

Who was your? Robbie Williams. Yeah. I cried when I'd go and watch him at Take That concerts. Leonardo DiCaprio. Right. That is talented. But I... Who else did I love?

Ryan Giggs and David Beckham. Those were my... I fell off a chair when I saw David Beckham at the Bowery. Really? He didn't see me. I saw him and I fell off a chair and had to leave. Because he was so good. Like he cared that I was even there.

I had to leave the room and say, we have to go. This is... I can't... Not because I'd fallen off the chair, just because I couldn't deal with my stomach doing the flips it was doing. Yeah, it was. It's delicious. Is it?

I'm not sure it is that delicious. It's really lovely. Thank you. When we weren't recording, you mentioned Julie's Wine Bar is somewhere that you like to go. Where else did you like going to or do you like going to? That was, you don't know how cool that place was. Yeah.

Was it like Joe Allen's? Much cooler, much cooler. It was so cool. It was bohemian. It was bohemian. It was an old funeral parlour. I didn't know that. Yeah, it was an old funeral parlour that had turned into...

I had my wedding there. I had the wedding dinner. And again, I was drinking. I'm not drinking now. My girlfriend and I went into you know they had all these little rooms little booze teeny teeny yeah we went in a room where there was men having a stag party and took their order like we pretended we were waitresses it was my wedding were you in a wedding dress no I didn't wear a wedding dress even the waitresses were

cool in there everybody was cool cool. Everyone was cool. Very, very dark. Dark. I think we went there once with you. I used to go there a lot with Dad. And I just loved it so much. And it was one of those places where you went there, you felt special, didn't you? And there was always special people there.

There were not dreary people. No, everybody was interesting. Where else were you eating? now? oh Joe Allen's that was cool no it's not Joe Allen's have you been?

you used to take me there for my birthday I was so excited and you'd be like who are we going to see but I swear we weren't eating you had to eat after the theatre show. I was in the Aldwych. And every show we went there. We were the coolest people on earth.

Who were you hanging around with? Rickman. Alan Rickman was my mentor. So we would all go. And Zoe Wanamaker. And Jonathan Price. And I had a good year. We've got pudding, but I don't know, do you eat puddings?

I do. But because I ate so much today at Borough Market, I was eating chocolate. Whoa. What is it? They're just peaches. They're just peaches with amaretti biscuits. That's fine. Okay, I'll have one of those.

I've got creme fraiche if you want to. I've got creme fraiche. No, I better. How fat? No, that's not a good thing. No, I'll just have the peaches. Okay. And some more tea, please. Oh, yeah. Look how demanding. No, that's not a good thing. No, I'll just have the peaches. Okay. And some more tea, please.

Oh, yeah. Look how demanding. No, that's fine. I'll wash, I'll take the dishes. Oh, shush. What? Like your guests can't take the... Jessie will wash.

No, because I think you'll invite me back if I take the dishes. You can come back for dinner. Do you think of yourself as Jewish? No. But I think of yourself as Jewish? No. But I think of you as Jewish. I know, but... But you... I don't identify with it. I know I have a rhythm of a Jewish person.

And when I went to Vienna and saw where my parents came from, I realized I was Jewish. You know, like I wouldn't have made it out of there. And then... And I love Jews when I was Jewish. You know, like I wouldn't have made it out of there. And I love Jews when I meet them. I do feel like that suddenly I meet my cousin. Yeah. Yeah.

And sometimes they're the most brilliant and sometimes they're the worst. You know what I mean? Yeah. They could be really off the list. But when they're sweet and smart, then yeah. But I didn't marry a jewish guy i didn't either i didn't either no i don't think so but jesse's having a bat mitzvah now not because i've gone religious but i think it um i don't know maybe this kind of that's nice true to you

like that sense of community i feel like well the is my thing, but I don't have it with Jews. Do you go to synagogue? No. So I felt like I've done this podcast with my mum and we celebrate being Jewish. We talk about Friday night dinner, that being the origins of where this idea came that we'd be talking around the table. She used to invite all her friends back on a Friday night and we'd'd end up having i'd do all the full shabbos dinner and then we'd have this raucous kind of singing and dancing and chatting with all her friends which is gorgeous to be any it sounds quite odd but like we'd have like we'd have our

friends with their parents it was just really lovely i'd wish i was there i would have been normal i would have been normal we didn't have that that's why you're so well adjusted i i didn't have time i was far too busy to go to study for because like i was quite cool and i wanted to have a social life on saturdays and so i didn't do the bat mitzvah and also it wasn't as important as my brother having a bar mitzvah so it was kind of like whatever so you're studying for it now so i'm actually learning Oh my god Learning Hebrew And I've got my bat mitzvah lesson tomorrow With Aviva

On Zoom And I'm kind of Like that at the moment And It's very It's very hard Like because it's A totally different alphabet

It's like I mean it's Do you have to speak it like Conversational? No I'm not like I'm not moving to Israel No you just have you have to speak it like conversational no I'm not moving to Israel but I'm learning to read it you could fake it I would go for the faking

but then I have to do it in a synagogue but you can sing I'm going to do it it's something that I'm going to do is it going to be a big one I'm going to try and get Drake to come and perform. You could be also the emcee. That's it.

We're sorted. I did a bar mitzvah in St. John's Wood once. Did you? And was paid a fortune. And the kid had a set. He was at the Brit Awards. And I had to do, and the greatest grandmother of the year.

And she came on, but the other grandmother wanted it. It was like the wars broke out. And there was a VIP room. And the brother had hookers there. I'm not kidding you. No, shut up. They had to be hookers.

Maybe they weren't, but they looked like hookers. How old was the brother? Old enough. 15. Yeah, 15. But, you know, so rich, it was revolting. Yeah. Yeah, ours won't be like that.

Okay. Have you got two children or three? Three. And what do they all do? They're all grown up. Two are comedians. Two are comedians. Siblings.

And then they're called siblings. Do they perform together? I thought there was an article on them. And they perform together? Yeah. How fun. Yeah. And they're like French and Saunders a little bit.

And then my son's a coder. C-O-D. Coder, I-T. They do coding. Yeah. Wow. I know, who knew? Who knew?

I didn't even know there was a thing called coding. Well, when you have a computer program, somebody has to code it. Oh, wow. And I have a chapter in my book on tech and the good news about that there you go what's the good news about it well a look what happened with zoom did you give frazzle cafe darling no yes i did i put honey in it thank you mother well zoom has made frazzle cafe you know you can have compassion i think it's all right to have sin. But then there was other stuff. Somebody, Richard Davidson, is making gaming for kids,

but the gaming teaches them empathy. So they start to understand what the alien, their rocket crashes, is trying to tell them through facial expressions. So they start matching up. They can feel. They feel each other do you know what i mean they can't speak and eventually there's a relationship and if they do form a bond and then the alien helps them build the rocket and if he gives it aggro alien doesn't do anything and what's the um what's the game called i have to look what it is but it's coming and then

oh there's oh it's not out yet, all these things are in the future. Of course, sorry. Yeah, got it. Sorry, baby. And there's bots, you know, that do CBT, cognitive therapy, you know, because there aren't enough therapists. So cognitive therapy is just really, again, it's... I studied that at Oxford too,

where you write down your reaction to a situation. Let's say somebody walked down the street on the opposite way and didn't look at you. What would you think? Well, I'd always think they hate me. So everybody has something else. If somebody, a friend of yours, walked on the other side of the street and didn't look at you, some people think, oh, they just didn't see me. And CBT asks questions like that. And eventually, you've got to get it that your reactions are always the same. So you start to see your patterns.

So what would you think? That they hate me. What would you think? I think that they hate me. Me too. Wouldn't everybody think it's a bit weird? No, some people would say they wouldn't see a shrink. Oh, they just didn't see me.

Do you think that makes them... Normal. Not normal, but some people don't have the bad... Not many, but it's not like you stop thinking that. I often worry that people think badly of me. Yeah, we have... I care too much what people think. Yeah.

Yeah, me too. It's more extreme than that. You know, you can... Most of us have more negative thoughts than positive. And in my other book, I say why, because it has to do with evolution and survival. But the cognitive therapy isn't just for that. It really is for much more severe, you know, problems.

Yeah. So you wouldn't go to somebody just because you think somebody, but that's like an exercise where they just watch. Yeah, it with that and people when you watch your thoughts and you start to when you observe stuff like with mindfulness when you notice what you're doing actually you can break the habit easier than if you're just at the mercy of it and there's these bots that are doing there's bots that you know can you can they ask the questions what do you think what do you feel okay say what what really is going on what you thought was going on you know there's and now from 100 to 1 how much is it bothering you it it's a questionnaire kind of thing so is your show is it comedy or is it about mostly about your thoughts no i do i do comedy and neuroscience

okay and evolution and so when are you having time to write comedy as well well the comedy's in it like this is okay but but also you're just inherently funny no you have to write funny lines in order to be funny so i'm telling you about where there is, you know, what's going on in business and education, except the stories are. There are stories about me within this that are really funny. So I'll always go my story. And then I'll tell you the story. So a dinner party, I think I know one guest that you would want at that dinner party. But if you had five guests at a dinner party, would Bill Bryson be one of them?

Yeah. Yeah, that's my hero. Why? Just love, well, do you love him? Well, because I try to write close to what he does, which is he takes a... Have you met him? No.

What do you feel... I think he'd be shy, but he is a genius. There is a book called The History of Everything, and he writes about everything and physics and the history of the detail but it's spun to be comedy. Does he live in England now?

Yeah, he's back. My husband's currently reading The Body one and he's kind of there engaging with me about something and it makes it so accessible and like it's funny, it's really interesting yeah it's funny it's interesting but also so informative yeah i'm really kind of so okay

bill bryson who else would be at that dinner table well bill bryson maybe not because okay some people are more interesting in their writing okay you know singers too that's their gift but when you meet them, it might be. I don't know what he's like, but the books are what turn me on. Brian Cox, the astrophysicist, I want him because he's a genius to me. He's perfect. He's perfect to me. And I once met him and couldn't speak either.

I didn't wake him up in my mouth. I tried to be smart, saying, Brian, if there was infinite parallel universes and there was just one me, this was it, how would I eat my dinner with just one fork? And he looked at me like something on the bottom of his shoe. And then it got worse. He says, this is my friend he's a

cosmologist he's famous this man okay i didn't know so in my schvitz i leant forward and said what's the best facelift you ever did he's a cosmologist i think that's funny it's not funny i think that's really funny it's not did they not smile no they did not. I think that's brilliant, Ruby. Would you know that a cosmologist knows what happened after the Big Bang? Well, it's not funny. They did not laugh. I'm deeply traumatized. Wrong crowd then. I'm sorry.

I think it was, yeah. But you can't use that with another crowd. So I'd have him, probably Obama. Yeah. Michelle coming too, or are you just going to leave her at home? Yeah. I mean, I like her, but you're, so that's three. No, two. Yeah. Michelle coming too, or are you just going to leave her at home? Yeah. I mean, I like her, but you're, so that's three. No, two.

Two. Because you're not having Bill. We can have Bill Vaughan. Bill Vaughan. Bill the book could be there. Bill the book. Oh God, who knows? Any women?

Oh yeah. You don't have to. It's your dinner party. No, no. I, you know, I never can think of anybody. Probably Mata Hari. It's your dinner party. Well, no. You know, I never can think of anybody. Probably Mata Hari. Who's that? Mata Hari was a kind of bewitcher.

Mata Hari was a spy, Jessie. A spy. I don't know this. She was very good at doing this. Yeah. And she attracted men because she was so beguiling. Maybe Florence Nightingale. Let's go a little more kosher.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, you know, let's find a great female. So you're going to tell the jokes then? Oh, you mean who else is funny? Well, no, maybe you don't need anybody funny. You're also funny. Well, no, I'm not that funny, but I like smarts more than funny.

If somebody's real smart, then I'm excited. That turns me on. A neuroscientist? Oh, God. Yeah. That would be... John Kabat-Zinn, who invented mindfulness, I know him. A neuroscientist? Oh, God. John Kabat-Zinn, who invented mindfulness.

I know him. And do you fancy him? No, the smartest man on earth. And so does it turn you on because he's smart? He's brilliant and he's enlightened. So you can't get better than that. No, you can't. Cleopatra, you know. Do these taste burned?

They've got a lovely caramelized taste to them. They're going down, Mum. Sorry. No, they're good. They're really good with the creme fraiche. Ruby, do you think you've got good table manners? I don't know what that is. I ate with my mouth open, so I know that. Jewish people

always eat with their mouth open. And stains. Because they're talking while they're eating. But stains. If I a stain oh god mom usually has to wear a bib my toddler's bib around like this because when i eat because it's triple well i get it all the way all the way all the way yeah so i'm sorry if i stained and it's been an act it's been a pleasure having you thank you and i wanted to just say the book again yeah but hold on you're now making me a bit nervous so listen guys um we need to buy ruby's book and now for the good news to the future future with love love and um please buy it and please check out frazzlecafe.org yeah you go on frazzlecafe.org and then just sign up and you'll be on. I do the 5.30, but in the day I have hosts. Not me, they're hosts.

So you can sign up any time and find a host in that time. How do you become a host? Oh, you have to be trained a little bit. I'd quite like to do that. Well, if you write Frazzle Cafe and say you'd like to do it, but they have small meetings of about 12, the way it used to be. And I do the big ones.

But thank you so much. And I just wanted to know, karaoke, do you like it? No. Fair enough. Are you going to make me do it? No. I like it, but I particularly like what we've heard. If I was drunk on my ass, I would do it.

Would you sing a Beatles song? Yeah, probably. Which one? I Hate You? ass, I would do it. Would you sing a Beatles song? Yeah, probably. Which one? I Hate You? No, I hate that one. Back in the USSR? Yeah. Yeah.

Ruby Wax. Thank you for having me. Thank you. I love being around Jews. Thank you for the food. If you feed me, I'm yours. Oh, well, you can come again. What an interesting woman.

I'm re-downloading Headspace. You're re-downloading that. I need to get the book. And if you didn't hear the title, it is, and now for the good news, To The Future With Love. Thank you so much, RebootX, for coming on. Real pleasure to meet you in person. Very funny woman.

Very funny. Iconic. Iconic? Yeah. Yes. God, I hope the journey home isn't as long as it was here. I don't think it will be. I think she'll be okay. She'll be high on life after having an evening with us. I know. The amaretti peaches that were slightly overdone

but maybe that gave the kind of caramelised... Actually, they were chewy. They were quite nice. Thank you so much for listening. My mum's now giving me the fish from the freezer and so I know

it's time to go home.