Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S12 Ep 12: Rob Brydon

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

What a belter of a guest for our series finale! The wonderful, charming and funny Rob Brydon came to see us midway through his huge UK tour; he popped over to mum’s for some spatchcock chicken, pecan pie (we recorded this episode on thanksgiving), a right old gossip and sing song. We spoke about Rob growing up in Wales, eating his grandma’s custard tarts, his comedy heroes, favourite food spots in London, ‘The Trip’, ‘mucus’ topping ‘moist’ as the worst word & life with 5 children! We end the episode with the biggest sing song we’ve ever had; mum’s favourite way to spend an evening. Thank you to all our listeners for a brilliant year, here’s to a 2022 filled with more guests, more sing songs, more food, more chaos and more of Lennie’s one liners! X Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello and welcome to table manners i'm jessie ware and this is our final episode for the year of 2021 wow it's been quite a year mom how's darling and to finish off we have a christmas cracker i am so excited you're so excited because i know you've really prepped. It's a very calm kitchen in there. She's really ready for this. I'm ready for it. We have Rob Brydon coming on. Islands in a stream. Hey, that's what you are. Oh, hi mum.

You've been slaving over the stove. I have darling. Trying to make something special. What have we got on the menu? I've done a spiced spatchcock chicken. Spatchcock. Spatchcock chicken I got from my lovely Steve Hello Steve Who gave me his brochure

It's like the calendar for Ginger Pig The calendar boy butcher Well there's women butchers At Ginger Pig Jesse But Steve is on the front And he said look at that over there And I looked Is he the most aesthetically pleasing butcher?

He's the most delightful butcher. And someone said, the other butcher that was there said, look on page 12. I said, he's not got his clothes off. He said, nobody's got his chopper in his hand. So we've got a spatchcock chicken. Yeah. Bejeweled rice. Lovely, delicious, my fave.

I've toasted pine nuts. I've toasted pistachios, I've chopped cranberries and apricots. Oh, how wintry. To go in to this lovely rice. Whose recipe is it? Sabrina Gaynor, who I would actually love to meet. Yes, love her. I wonder if she'd come on our podcast. Sure, sure she would.

And cook. Oh yeah, that'd be good. And then, because it's Thanksgiving today, I know this is going up just a bit later, I made a pecan pie. My favourite. And I think the first pecan pie I ever ate was at Hard Rock Cafe. Yes. I think I used to eat it there.

But I have to say, I don't know how you're going to cut it with whole pecans and whether they never said to chop the pecans up. Mum, you know I don't care about appearance. Okay, I know, darling dinner ladies. So, yeah, we have Rob Brydon, who is currently on tour, touring a kind of one-man band. Well, it's not a one-man band, but it's a one-man show. Is it a one-man show if you've got a band?

Yeah, a one-man show. It's kind of his singing, comedy memoir but through music and I mean everyone knows him

from Gavin and Stacey Marion and Jeff The Trip Uncle Bryn Uncle Bryn what's the other one? I have got a question to ask him about that.

Okay. Would I lie to you? I mean he's very loved and it's a massive deal that we've got him. I have a voice. He's got a very lovely voice. Can't wait for our next guest. it's a massive deal that we've got him. And the voice. He's got a very lovely voice. Can't wait for our next guest.

He's a massive deal. I can't quite believe that he said yes. This feels like we're in kind of creme de la creme of comedy, right? You know, this is like... Special. Yeah, this is proper. Maybe it's because we've had lots of Welsh people. And he's thinking of forming a choir.

Maybe. The Table Manners male choir. Oh my God. Of Welsh voices. Okay, this is not making sense. Rob Brydon coming up on Table Manners. We have Rob Brydon here. Thank you so much.

You are, you came in, I told you that I'd been using a whip today and I feel very inappropriate about that, but that's another conversation. And we're so thrilled to have you. Well, thank you for having me. I've been looking forward to this because I listened, I i've heard three of those you've done a lot i you know i can't hear every one of them but i i i i love them and as i was listening to them i thought oh i'm gonna be doing this yeah how sweet but i who told you to listen to them uh well you want

the honest answer um yeah because they you know they do but let me i'll give you i'll give you the honest the honest truth right is that you you do stuff to promote what you're doing so i'm promoting your tour so you look in your phone you look at the right what am i doing now i'm gonna do table manners i've heard of that i've heard of table manners yes i've heard of it but i never heard it and then i would be flicking to my diary and i would see clapham of an evening and I yeah and I went oh boy oh god I'm gonna Clapham and I food I've got I've got to eat oh yeah so I thought well I'm gonna I so I was on tour so I listened to it and I went the first one was Stanley Tucci

and I really and I love Stanley Tucci who doesn't and I really liked it and then I listened to the Schwimmer one David David Schwimmer, and then the Tom Jones one. So by the end, I went from, oh, I've got to go to Clapham, to, ooh, I'm going to Clapham. Oh, good. It was a journey. Where do you usually reside?

Well, not in Clapham. Where? Strawberry Hill in between Twickenham and Teddington. Oh, lovely. Yeah, it's nice. It's lovely there. Not far from here, but just in terms of getting here, you know, it's that classic London thing of it takes forever. So tell us about the tour.

Are you halfway through? Quarter of way? I don't know, maybe a quarter. It's a tour with a band and it's very old-fashioned. We just did two nights at the Palladium in London and one of the reviews said, it's hard to imagine any show more suited to the London Palladium. Oh, wow.

Well, it is a compliment, but because it is an old-fashioned, you know, sort of one-man variety show in that I tell stories, I sing songs. Some of them are serious, some of them are funny. It's an incredibly talented band. Did you start as a comedian, an actor or a singer? Well, I went to drama school, so you'd say, well, you're going to be an actor, but it was always comedy that I wanted to do. And then I left drama school early because I got

offered a job as a DJ on the radio in Wales. So I did you have a beautiful voice you have thank you very much I mean our listeners are it's purring into their ears you and Tom well exactly that's right it was 1949 quarter to six on the 2nd of June it was a full. What a memory that man has. I know. It's astonishing, isn't it? Yes. Wow. When he arrived, it was really funny

because I thought I'd do something Welsh for him, like a home-cooked meal. So I don't think lamb shanks. He's someone really disappointed. I thought I was going to get a Jewish meal. Oh, really? And then when he brought out the pud, flipping heck.

Oh, no chocolate. He doesn't eat chocolate. No, but he loves it. He loves chocolate. What did I do? I think I did one of my best, my roulade or something. I think you did a beautiful passion fruit roulade with lemon curd. Oh.

But old Tom just wanted a square of chocolate. So he'd have chocolate with you because I find chocolate, I'm avoiding chocolate while I'm singing. Don't you find it creates, I'm going to introduce an unwelcome word here. Mucus. Oh my god. Nobody wants that. That's worse than moist. No, moist can have lovely

connotations, mucus can't. We had Rick Astley on and we talked about moist a lot. And he said he was once because I'd done a moist cake. Why wouldn't you? And he said, God, moist. He said, God, it's a bad word, isn't it? I was like, yeah, it's not a very nice word, is it?

And then he said something like, yeah, I once... He said he was in a gig and he was playing and it was really going well and he went, are you moist? No. What, did he mean sweaty and stuff? I don't know what he meant. It was raining. Oh, it was raining, right.

And he's never forgotten it. And the regret of asking a room full of very middle-aged women if they were moist. Oh, my God. Yeah, but I would say of moist and mucus, I would say, as I say, moist can have a positive connotation. Yeah, it can have a positive connotation. Of course it can. Things are looking up. Whereas mucus has no redeeming qualities.

I need to speak to you about the trip. Because I have to say, it did kind of inspire this podcast. Really? It did. Initially. You've never told me that, darling. No, but I... Well, more.

I was so jealous of you going out to wonderful dinners. And I thought, I want to do that. Oh, really? But I'm not a comedian and I'm not Steve Coogan or, you know, Rob. And so it started at a point where I was like, God, wouldn't it be nice just like chat in restaurants? I mean, you don't just do that. It's a beautiful thing that you do, but you do eat good food.

And I wanted in on it. And I thought, well, I can get good dinners I wanted in on it and I thought well I can get good dens at mum's house so I thought well sod it we'll do something like that but who thought of that idea? Michael Winterbottom he's the director and he writes the whole story and you know a fair bit of the dialogue as well and then Steve and I sort of colour it in and invent stuff but the the meals that you like they're always lunches and it looks like when you watch it as if you're just eavesdropping on us but of course you're not it's constructed and with the lunches we eat every course three times so we have a starter and we shoot whatever we're going to shoot then Then we go, OK, cut, bring in another starter.

We start again and then we'll cut and then we bring in another starter. You're just trying to make me feel less jealous, aren't you? Well, because that's the reality of it. And then three mains and three puddings. So which has been your most cherished meal out of those kind of, you know, multiple starters, mains and puds? Italy, Italy Italy particularly when we go down to the Amalfi Coast and especially on on Capri there's this very fancy hotel called the Capri Palace I believe and it's twinned with a restaurant called Il Riccio which is the one

that you see in the trip when we're on Capri but but it was just it was also the environment it was it was a beautiful I've been back with with my wife and the weather wasn't as good. When we were there in the early summer, it was perfect. But you're gazing at Steve Coogan. Now, I wouldn't mind gazing at Steve Coogan, but did you look at Steve and you thought, I'd really like my wife to be right here right now? Oddly enough, she did come out for that weekend as well. And then we went back out I took her back it

was her birthday in the September but the weather had kind of turned so that was that was one of the meals that I really remember but you know that the truth is because we are improvising a lot of stuff I'm not really thinking too much about the food because I'm thinking, what am I going to say next? And we're trying to be funny. So I almost remember the meals we had in the evening off camera more than the ones we did on camera. Do you find it hard being funny? Or do you just give that impression?

No, I just wonder because we're doing two nights at the London Palladium. Good for you. But I'm just I am relying on the guests being funny, not me. All you've got to do is just be yourself. Is that what you think? Yes. That's what sold out the first one already, Mum. Thank God, darling. Well, you've got a

cast iron formula, format, so just don't change. Just be yourself. Do you think we should have Jessie singing a song? No. Just to keep things going? No, because that's not in, format. So just don't change. Just be yourself. Do you think we should have Jessie singing a song? No. Just to keep things going? No, because that's not in the format. I think people like to join in.

I'm hoping that we're going to have Islands in the Stream all together at the end. I think it's almost inevitable. I think it is too. It is one of my favourite songs. There's a horrible sense of impending doom.

And I think it's shaped like Islands in the Stream. Well, I know that you do a Guys and Dolls cover. Yes, that's right. Which one do you do? Well, two, actually. I do all of Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat. Wow.

Love that one. It's a big song. That's a big song. Showstopper. And then a bit of I've Never Been in Love Before. Because I tell the story about being at school. It's where I met Ruth Jones, because she was at the same school, you see. Nessa.

Nessa, so I should explain to people. And you never married her. No, she was never together. No, that's a different, no, that's... Oh, right, sorry, oh, right, sorry. What, I never married Ruth in real life? No, well, I always say she's like the sister I never wanted. No, Ruth is probably my closest female friend, I would say.

I've known her for, well, since I was about 14. And we were both in Guys and Dolls. Who was she? She was Miss Adelaide. Oh, Jessie was Miss Adelaide. Were you? I knew me and Ruth had an affinity somewhere. Were you, were you, were you?

Only at school. It's a great part, isn't it? Well, yeah, I was only at school as well. And I played Sky Masterson. Oh, my God, the handsome Sky. No, not of course at all. You know, I say this in the show, I say, no, it's a bit of a shock.

You know, what was Uncle Bryn doing playing the Marlon Brando role? But I played that part. And in fact, my wife went to an all-girls school and they did Guys and Dolls and she played Sky Masterson as well. Oh, lovely. When we first met, the day we met, we both when we first met the day we met

we we we did we did we sang in the back of a taxi because we'd both played this same role were you drunk yes i love that yeah was it your first dance uh no no it wasn't jack johnson oh better together oh god that reminds me of going travelling in Thailand. Does it? And wearing a lot of fisherman trousers. Fisherman's pants. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

It was very popular then. Yeah. Oh, I love, yeah. It's a lovely song. It is lovely. So, Rob, where did you grow up? I grew up in South Wales. I could listen to your voice.

Oh, it's his gorgeous. And your wife is Welsh as well? No, no, both of my wives, Lenny, because I... You to your voice. I know. It's his gorgeous. It's his wife as well. No, no. Both of my wives, Lenny, because I've known the heartbreak of divorce. You're a polygamist. Oh, no. What did you say? Polygamist.

Yes. I'm going to announce it on your show. I am a polygamon. Yes. Both my wives have been and remain English. Okay. Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against.

Can I just say something very personal? Oh, God, what? Is Uncle Bryn supposed to be gay? In Gavin and Stacey, I've always wondered. Yeah. Or just a bit androgynous? No, well, there's a part of me that doesn't want to say anything because I think it should be in the mind of the audience, you know.

Because obviously they've written it. Well, it's not ambiguous, is it? I mean, I'd be surprised if he wasn't. Okay. But I wonder perhaps... Because I have no gay doll whatsoever. But I wonder if he's just never acted on it. I mean, they've never said to me, you know,

it's just what's there in the script. But, I mean, you know, the way he gazes at Larry Lamb, you know, at Mick and stuff. I'd gaze at Larry Lamb, to be honest. Well, he's a lovely looking boy. But they've never sort of nailed it on their head. But I think it's for the audience, you know, to decide for themselves. Just might be just not interested.

What's that? Is that asexual? Asexual. Or is that liking it from everyone? I can't remember. No, I think. No, asexual is someone who's not fussed. Not fussed. I wanted to know about Wales

and who was cooking in your family and were you cooking and were you a fussy eater? No, it would have been mum, but I've been thinking about this, obviously, in advance of coming. Thank you for prepping. Well, yes, yes. It deserves a little bit of coming. Thank you for prepping. Well, yes, yes. It deserves a little bit of prep.

And we were a very limited palette as a child. Very limited palette. I mean, I won't say embarrassingly so, but when I went to drama school when I was about 19. Which drama school? Welsh College of Music and Drama in Cardiff. Were your family kind of actors and musicians? Were they shocked when you chose that?

No, because I'd always been a bit of a performer. And no, they were always very encouraging. And as a parent now, I find that more remarkable than ever. Do you? Well, yeah, because most people that go into this line of work do not succeed. It's true. So it could be concerning, although the other side of that is it's great to do something that you have a passion for do your how many kids five do your kids any of them want to go in this direction

the youngest is seems to have a performing bent. And eldest is involved in the business, but not as a performer. But then the others... How old's your oldest? I go 27, 25, 22, 13. Thank you, Lenny. I like you. You look in your late 40s. Were you quite young when you had kids? My first one, yeah, married at 27.

I sound like Tom now. It was October the 6th. Yeah, I married at 27. First child, my daughter Katie, when I was 29. And then... So I'm working it out now. Yeah, so she's 27, so 27, 25. Girl, boy, girl, boy, boy.

So you're in your 50s. I'm well, yes, she's 27, so 27, 25. Girl, boy, girl, boy, boy. So you're in your 50s. I'm 56. Very good, fettled, handsome. Oh, no. Good hair. If I don't mind. Do you want a third wife, Rob? A third English wife?

Why not? So what was your mother cooking? Well, it was, as I think back, it was very, I mean, I don't want to offend my mum, but it was, my memory of it is pretty plain. Don't worry, some people only had frozen food. No, but that was probably because. Some people just had frozen food. I think that's what people had then. But also, you probably wanted that.

Well. A lot of them. No, it's what was there. You didn't know. No, I certainly wasn't adventurous when it came to food. I wasn't adventurous when it came to food I wasn't adventurous when it came to textures I can remember at school they had semolina or rice pudding

and I remember thinking but I do remember there was a kid who ate spaghetti hoops or something and I remember thinking that was a step too far that was exotic on toast or off toast I remember thinking that was a step too far that that was exotic on toast or off toast I think possibly on toast so we were meat and potatoes steak for a treat yeah fillet steak for a treat fish on a my memory is the the the uh window in the kitchen getting very steamed up when it was fish night. So it was very unadventurous, very nice food.

My maternal grandmother would make a stew and would also make Welsh cakes. My paternal grandmother would make egg custard tart. And when she came for lunch, and know we'd have a normal sunday lunch and she would bring this is when i was very young egg custard tart to have afterwards and she and i would talk about yeah yeah and i always remember she would talk about having seen that week's benny hill and't he funny? And she used to use the word comical. Oh, it was comical. Wasn't it comical? Did you model your comedy on any particular person?

Yes. I can't say Benny. I don't feel like it's... Well, I know, but the thing is now, you see, we are in 2021, but this was 1972, 73. It was a different climate. I'm not going to get into a defence of Benny Hill but he was not without his skills.

Let's just say that, right? So yes, I would watch all sorts of people. I always had a very wide taste in comedy. So from the very popular stuff like Bruce Forsyth, watching what he did and then the slightly more trendy stuff like Bruce Forsyth, watching what he did, and then the slightly more trendy stuff like Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. Barry Humphries has always been a huge sort of hero of mine.

But loads, loads of comedians. It's harder for me to find a comedian I don't like than one that I do like. Do you think comedy's harder now because of all the kind of restrictions and woke and things? I don't say that in a pejorative way. No, but you see what happened with Dave Chappelle. Yeah, but you can get yourself into a big hole by saying something that would have been totally acceptable when you started out and now isn't. I think there are new challenges with it. I think there are some comedians, frankly, who don't care. So I can't imagine a Ricky Gervais or whoever worrying about it.

And you wonder as well how much these Twitter storms actually affect anything. I mean, if someone were to lose their job as a result of it you'd say well it has but a lot of these things blow up and then go. I've never been particularly controversial in my comedy Are you political? No I've always

been very wishy washy only once I didn't enjoy it Didn't you? Why? Was it intimidating? No but it was it was I was hosting it it's not my world I think you've got to know what your strengths are and topical political stuff because it's not all politics in that show but it's that's not where my strengths lie so I didn't enjoy it so I mean and please forgive me if you've already done one would you go and do musicals I would the reason

I haven't done them is because of never stopping having children in the last you know however many years how old's the youngest 10 so I've done theatre runs I did a play at the Ulbich a play at the Garrick and a play at the Pinter

so I've done a few runs of plays. But, as you know, it takes over your life. You are out every night of the week. Sunday, you collapse. So it's very hard on, if you're a family person, you have young children. Basically, I have to wait until my kids are teenagers until I do a musical theatre job.

Well, I think that... I think the last play I did was at the Old Vic and it was about education. I played the teacher and all the others meant to be the students. Which play was it? It was called Future Conditional, directed by Matthew Warchus at the Old Vic. When was that?

It was the first one of Matthew's tenure as the head of the old Vic. When was it? I'm not, I don't have that memory. I don't know. I'm going to say five years ago, maybe something like that. And all the other,

well, they were young, these actors all in their early twenties. And we'd be in the wings before we go on. And they'd say, so what did you do after the show last night, Rob? I go,

I went home. Oh, we, we went off to this so-and-so place and then we ended up in this salsa bar and then after that we and i said well no no i i went home and i went to bed that's about it for me really because you have to i find now and you get older you you've got to conserve that energy. And I want, so the answer to your question, I definitely want to and I will do a musical. This tour is my way of getting around that because, you know, I can pace it exactly as I want to. So I do two, maybe three shows a week,

maybe one, two, day off, another one, two days off, another one, another one, so that I can be at home back and forth. Mum, I'm a bit hungry. Darling, it's coming. Is it ready? What are we having? I've no idea what we're having. She's pulled out. I hope it's nice. I've done a spiced chicken.

Oh, yes. With bejeweled rice. Let's see if that works. Don't you find that the vajazzle has rather diminished the word bejeweled? Yes. Because the minute you said bejeweled, that's where my mind went. You thought of a fanny. No, honestly.

Good God. What are you lying? There's nothing I can do about it if that's the way. went you thought of a fanny no honestly good god what are you lying there's nothing I can do about it if that's the way it goes straight down there oh my god because of the

this because of the only way is essence I'm really looking forward to tuck into that okay shush and then I've done

I've done carrots roasted in oh god now I'm thinking phallic images mum stop stop enough

enough and I've done a pecan pie because it's Thanksgiving today. I appreciate that. Oh, lovely, lovely. Because I am very jealous. I'm very jealous of the Americans. Not so much about what Thanksgiving stands for,

but the fact that they get to have turkey twice. Yeah, they get the excuse to have the occasion and get together. You know, it's a bit of a variation. You don't get big presents, though, on Thanksgiving, do you? No, but it brings everyone together. Yeah, it does. I quite like that. Love it.

Is your wife a good cook? Brilliant. She's a brilliant cook, and she can bake. Yeah, she's terrific. So what's your favourite dish by her? There's one thing she does, and I won't say this is her favourite, but it's great, and it's a quiche. Quiches seem a bit unexpired.

No, I love quiches. Okay, and it's basil and f's a quiche quiches seem a bit uninspired no I know and it's basil and feta cheese does that sound no I'm forgetting another ingredient

that's delicious but she can kind of make anything she's one of those people who can does she make it up or does she she can do that

she does both she can make it up she can see what's left and stick it all together and she can bake. And our 13-year-old bakes as well. He's got into that. So he'll make blondies and things like that.

Yeah. And I, as a result, I mean, I was never a cook. Did you not bake in lockdown? I tried something. I had to go at, oh yeah, she said, Claire said, tell them about, I tried cooking a Nigella thing, which was something to do with crispy chicken, and I just cremated it. It was an absolute disaster. The kids were appalled by it.

I want to know, where was your first date with your wife? Well, it was that, oh, the first one we actually went out, because we actually sort of went, we went on a date the day we met because i met her at these awards yeah and i had which were lunchtime awards and i had tickets for this for this advanced screening of oceans 11 oh wow with george clinton you were going to compete with him yes are you mad you were like hey why did we get out of this i was i was i was drunk so and i and i'd seen her her, you see, in this reception. I said, oh, who's that? And so I'm talking to her then. And I thought, and this screening was about half six or something, you see.

So we were now in the American bar and we're having drinks and there's a crowd of us. And I'm talking to her quietly. And I say, look, hey, you want to come with me? I got these tickets for Ocean's Eleven. It's not out yet. She said, oh, I saw it last week oh my god but nonetheless I I persuaded her and um it was in the taxi that we I think that's when it emerged that we both played Sky I don't know how it came up I love that and then we went and watched this this film and and did you make out in the cinema

oh sorry thank god that went off then We might have kissed in the taxi We might not, who knows I don't think we'll ever know for sure You've eaten at some amazing places But anywhere local that you really really love or any london places that you know you could live without i like um well i just happen to be at scott's today that that's always great when i was in the theater i used to like going to sheiky's after the show because it feels

like you're part of that theater life yeah and that's um is that like the new joe allen's then i yeah i said yeah i suppose you could say that yeah i mean that's where because it was around that we were at the garrick uh so that's where where i would go i like it there where else um there are there are nice places out near us there's one in St Margaret's, I don't know if it's still there I think, what's it called, Bruella oh, it's a nice one, there's one in just before you get to Richmond, they call it

East Twickenham, called Achena we've gone there quite a bit but all that kind of stuff has been has gone hasn't it really, because we've got out of the habit at Marble Hill, that pub on the... Yeah, on the Crown, is it? Just near the Crown. On that little mini roundabout.

Yes, yes, we've been there. Do you eat out a lot? No. I think Richmond's nice. Richmond's lovely. The Gaucho. Yes, great on the river. During lockdown, they would do stuff outdoors, so you'd

go for your huge walk on a Sunday with another family and in that crisp air at the feel of a ski resort you know you'd be queuing up for your food and that was kind of nice, there's loads of nice places do you still have family in Wales? yeah yeah mum and dad in Port Talbot

oh great we didn't actually speak about it so Port Talbot well some people call it Port Talbot I've always said Port Talbot oh great we didn't actually speak about yeah so Port Talbot Port Talbot well some people call it Port Talbot I've always said Port Talbot

that's not where Michael Sheen lives yes yes yes oh he doesn't live there now but he's from exactly the same place his parents

go to the same church as my parents and did you go to the same drama school no no I'm older than him by about

I don't know eight years something like that maybe and he I'd never I've only than him by about, I don't know, eight years, something like that, maybe. And he, I'd never knew, I've only known him as an adult. I didn't know him when I was a kid. But I heard of him because he was in youth theatre. But he was in a different youth theatre, different county.

Right. Because I'd moved schools, blah, blah, blah. I feel like the Welsh are like Jews in the sense that like... I agree with you. I've said that before. I've said that many... Yes, many times. It's like when you meet one, you're like, hey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what you say. We say shalom. Absolutely. No, I've said that many times. I always feel an affinity with Jews. I always do. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

It's very interesting. So, okay, we're about to eat. Oh, is that the bejeweled? It's not bejeweled yet, though, is it? It's not bejeweled yet, darling. It that the bejeweled it's not bejeweled yet though is it it's not bejazzled yet no no let's

let's let's put that bejazzled thought out of our minds okay well whilst mum bejewels her rice please tell us

what your last supper would be oh okay well I think yeah because you don't you're not going to go

healthy are you? What's the point? What's the point? What's the point? I would go for, oh, I watched that Netflix documentary about veganism and went vegan for about a week. Was that the one about the athletes? Yes.

We all did. I know, everybody did. I didn't. Never. we all did I know everybody did I didn't never well I so I would probably have a rib eye

salt crust steak for a starter oh sorry no I I feel like I liked it

no not for a starter I would okay for a starter I would oh it's so hard, isn't it? I mean. Have a few small plates, you know. Okay, well, I'll have a few.

I love scallops. Okay. Were they good scallops today? Are they scallops? I can never remember. I don't know. Scone, scones, scallops, scallops. Let's say scallops.

Okay. I don't know. Oh, they were good. They were lovely. Yeah, very nice indeed. What did they come with? In shells with some sort of juice or something. Was it like a buttery lemony?

Yeah, exactly. And they just do it well. Oh, I probably, see, I like, I like the most simple of starters, the old Parma ham and melon. Oh, I love that. No one's going to be impressed by my sophistication, but I like that.

And when it works and it hits the spot and refreshes. So that would be oh I'll tell you what they could have on the table as well here we go they could have some what do they call it

when they do something with cauliflower cauliflower popcorn do they call it that oh you're into cauliflower popcorn you like that yeah I really like it

it's lovely where have you had one that you like at the Mitre oh they tell you a nice place near us the Mitre on the river

at Hampton Court okay that's where we I was trying I know we've been somewhere recently we went there quite a bit over the summer i'm just trying to decide whether to tell you this story or not um i want to hear it now it shows me in a very poor light we took i took my wife there for her birthday so you can see where it's going can't you with

capri first of all right and then we go suddenly we're in hampton court right no there's a lovely restaurant there and it's on the river and and i'd been there a few days before with some of my older kids for one of their birthdays and i'd noticed a boat come a big fancy boat coming up and some people getting on it and i thought right so i arranged that at the end of the meal this boat would come and would whisk us off back down to where we live which is down the river, so the boat comes and she knows something's

up because I'm making little gestures to the staff and everything and then I'll tell it anyway, so we get up to go and someone comes over and says oh hello can I say i'm a big fan and i love you so can i have a photo i said yeah okay fine so we do that and then someone else from another table then comes over can i say you didn't miss the boat no no no no it's better

than that so they just i'm stood there like this oh thanks very much you know it's lovely and she's just stood there and then as we leave everybody applauds me as i leave. It's her birthday. The whole restaurant is applauding as we walk down the steps. Oh, did they start to be coming to you? On the boat, yes. Oh, God. How did you feel about it? Did you feel really great about it? I thought it was hilarious.

And how did she feel about it? Oh, she was laughing. I mean, she was joking about it, but it's hilarious. Does it happen quite a lot? Because I feel like you're quite an approachable man. Well, not spontaneous rounds of applause. I won't pretend that's happening all the time, no. But yes, people come up all the time, yes.

But there is that feeling that you are approachable, so therefore I feel like probably people approach you more than maybe they would someone else. Whoever else, yes. Yeah, another comedian or actor, yeah. And how do your family find that? Nine times out of ten, it's fine. And then once in a while, it'll be not the right moment.

And you'll think... And how do you behave in that moment? Well, I try and be nice. I'm sure you could find someone who says, well, he wasn't nice when I approached him. But I try to be nice, you know, because why wouldn't you try to be nice? So we've got, you were mentioning the main course being that.

Well, hang on. So, okay. So I'd have a salt, a ribeye steak and I probably have some potato dauphinoise. Mum did dauphinoise the other night and I said, I bet you Rob Brydon would like that. She's given you Vajazzle's rice. And people probably ate that more than they were just having it. Yeah, it's a real treat, isn't it? It's so lovely, isn't it?

You're not getting that tonight. But I'd also like, though, as well as those, as well as that, I'd like just some chips, but lovely chips. Thrice cooked. Well, not necessarily those. just some chips but lovely chips thrice cooked well not necessarily those we go to an area in France near Carcassonne

and a lot of it's the Languedoc area you've got on that one there and a lot of the restaurants you go to there do their chips the same way which is all I can say is they're quite brown. That's the only way I can describe them. Right. So not like these fancy, thrice cooked, like little lego bricks. Are we talking like wide or thin?

Irregular shapes, which is nice. Yeah, lovely. And different sizes. They're delicious. I'd have some of those as well. And then I'd want some sort of greenery on there. I might have... Well, here's what I'd have. I can't eat mushrooms because it affects my skin. Oh, wow.

So I'd have mushrooms because presumably I'm about to... Do you like them? I'm going to die imminently yes with this meal listen either yeah or you're going somewhere and nobody's going to see

your bad skin so it's like either way you basically you're going to die does it hurt you when you've you've said

it's my last did you say it's my last last supper or before you go to Desert Island or Death Row it's up to you

it's upset a lot of listeners when we said it was Death Row Mill. So we've kind of given the option. All right. Well, if there was no more living, I'd have some lovely mushrooms. So you like mushrooms? Yes.

And how does it affect your skin? Well, it gives me horrible kind of, you know, big, horrible spots. Oh, really? It's to do with... When I was a teenager, very bad acne. Had tons of antibiotics. Because in those those days they would just send them out. And as a result, I've been told I don't digest yeasty fungal things, you see. And also citrus I often react to, but mushrooms in particular, you see. You haven't got any of that.

Lovely. So I would probably have some of those. And then for pudding, ooh, ooh, probably something chocolatey because mucus wouldn't be a concern. Oh, the words come back. Oh.

I can't stand it. Oh. Shall I fix it over here to serve? Yeah, sure. Oh, look at that. A spatchcock. I was about to say the word spatchcock. But given that we've already had moist and vajazzle,

I wondered whether it was wise. Mum, I wonder whether that could have a sprinkling of herbs just to really- Darling, it's not supposed to. You're an affectionist, you. There's no way I'd suggest anything else to that. Jessie, how much have you cooked of this? Yeah, I know.

Jessie! Ah! We got so far before you said it. Do you go to Panto? Yeah, I have done it. The Richmond Panto's always great, isn't it? Anton Dubek is doing it this year. Oh!

I love him! Who doesn't? Who doesn't love Anton? Are you a Strictly fan? Yes, yes, yes. We watch Strictly. So I think we may go... I'll tell you a funny story

about Pantomime. Here we go. Finally he comes up with a funny story. Oh my... Good. I did a charity event and I was with

Jerry Hall. She was at Richmond Pantone. That's part of the story. Well, stop spoiling the bank time, Sorry. I was at Richmond Pantone. That's part of the story. Stop spoiling the bank sign mother. Sorry I was just trying to commune with him. She says I'm going to be in Richmond in Pantone man you must come to the opening night. I said that's Jerry Hall. I said yes of course. So we go and we're sitting up in the circle

how do you know her? because I was at at a because he's fabulous darling I was at I'm an ambassador for the Princess Trust

and I think she is and we were at a lunch and they were I'll tell you the story they were auctioning off a round of golf with me and at one point she's I do and at one point she stood up and she said she said they were auctioning off a round of golf with me.

And at one point, she stood up and she said... I've spoiled everything. Do you not like golf? You hate golfers? No, it's just about golfing. I have a problem. People who play golf. No, you are... Well, I'm going to say prejudice. I think I am a bit.

I'm calling you out for prejudice. I know. All right, well, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself. I do. I probably do. It's an unappealing quality in an otherwise very appealing package. So, and we're at this thing, and they're bidding for this, you know, to play golf with me.

Well, yeah. So at some point she stands up, she goes, I'll carry for for Rob so I had that badly yeah it was well I genuinely no seriously I think that's why she did it because who would want to play golf with me so we go and we do this thing and she she caddied and she walked the course with me and it was great you know which golf course do you belong to Wisley oh no I don't belong there this was they arranged it you see okay so we're going around the golf course do you belong to? Wisley. Oh, right. Oh, no, I don't belong there. This was, they arranged it, you see. Okay. So we're going around the golf course, right?

So this is. And she's caddying. Yes, and she's lovely, right? She's vivacious and lovely. She's gorgeous. She's gorgeous, but she's also not just, look, she's very appealing. She was lovely. Anyway, she says, I'm going to be in pain, ma'am.

You must come. So I said, okay, lovely. So we go, and here's the story. We're sat behind Mick Jagger. He went. Yes. Because he had a good view. Because they're all, you know, they all get on, don't they? And they're la-di-da.

So she plays the baddie. So she's on there going, I'm evil, I'm bad. And he's there going, boo, hiss, boo. It's behind you. it's behind you it's behind you and then in the interval you've got the voice exactly and then in the interval I went to the loo and I came back and he was in the

he was in the queue for ice cream or something and he saw me and he went oh some good jokes Rob oh god I'll talk to him about you know about comedy do you get hecklers

oh not in a nasty way Joe Brand if you listen to her I mean she came on and she said she used to have the most yes

horrendous oh I had when I was starting out I was playing I was doing an open mic spot that's where you go on for no money

and you're allowed five minutes maybe okay terrifying yes so the audience don't know you you're totally unknown the expectation is that you won't be very good and I was at a place in up in in Greenwich called up the creek famously tough

famously tough place is it still there it was Crete Road the guy the guy has died Malcolm Hardy who was a well-known guy that ran it. So I go on, I'm doing whimsical observations about Wales and I'm getting nothing. And at one point, somebody in the audience goes, bleh, you know, that's sheep noise, right?

Oh, my God. And I go, hmm, I just carry on. Then someone else goes, bleh. Oh, that's like our cat. No, get down, you's like our cat now when we clap we've got two cats and Biscuit is the

bad one but when we clap he just thinks oh I'm doing well he says well thank you my darling you're very kind so I do it again

so if you clap when he's near food he won't come down but yours that's good so anyway so one person does sheep

another one does sheep another one another one and before long the whole room is doing sheep noises that is terrifying did you want to cry?

yes and I carried on and I remember when I drove back home from that gig it's a long way because we lived then in Mortlake East Sheen and I remember thinking well that's it it's all over and i was doing okay i was making a living as a voiceover artist this

was in the 90s mid 90s so i was you know we're doing quite well but but i remember thinking it's all over and my thought was don't spend any more money that was my thought just in case just no just hold on to it because you're going to need it but the next morning I woke up and I thought right I'll show you buggers and I'll go back and I did go back and I let I certainly didn't raise the roof but they didn't but they didn't didn't do shoot no can I just point something out yes, when people come on this podcast, they end up doing duets with Jessie, like Kylie Minogue. Did you do one with Kylie? Yeah, it's out now.

She's good. She's very good. Do you want to do a duet? Of course. What would be our song? I'm not singing. No, we're not going to sing now. No, but what would be?

We're going to put one out professionally. I think you should. Listen, we could do... Your voice is good. Guess it's over over call it a day which was that you don't see I'm too old for you

no it isn't sorry that it had to end this way I don't no reason to pretend we knew it had to end

someday what's the chorus well it's going to be me and you Lenny yeah I think it will I won't forget about you you must know this

too much too late little too late to ever try again. I like this. Johnny Mathis and somebody else. No, you... No. Johnny Mathis, was it Peebo Bryson? I don't think it was.

That's the first song that came to my mind. Well, I mean... Where is the love? Remember that one? Oh, yeah. Give to me. Yeah, I do, but... Or, Jessie, you could suggest a song from the last? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do. But or Jesse, you could suggest a song from the last 50 years, maybe.

No, Donny Hathaway, Roberta Flack. That's right. Yes, yes, yes. Love, you said you'd give to me. Or OK, what about what about let's come bang up to date. Shadows falling, baby. I stand alone. Oh, now you're talking.

Out in the street, everybody you meet got a heartache of their own. You want to be a hero. Making a crime to be lonely or sad. Ain't gonna be illegal. You've got a reason for living. You're very good. You do everything. With the love we're building.

We used to put the frigging tree up to that. Guilty was my business. We're guilty of our love. We'll climb any mountain near or far. We all got a highway to the sky. Yeah, I love it. Gorgeous. Have you ever met Barbara? No, nor Barry.

I'd rather meet Barry. That sounds like Barry. Barry, you said that very well. I met Robin Gibb, cause he was on like, cause the Bee Gees wrote Islands in the Stream. So, Robin did backing vocals on it. Bee Gees wrote islands in the stream so um of course Robin did backing vocals yeah so so Robin did backing vocals and he was in the video so I got to meet him which is really good and we did top of the pops singing that and oasis were on it and. So Robin did backing vocals and he was in the video. So I got to meet him, which was really good. And we did Top of the Pops singing that. And Oasis were on it and Take That.

Did you feel bloody rock and roll? Number one. And I said to him as we were about to do it, I said, oh, I'm quite nervous, Robin. And he said, do you know what I do when I'm nervous? I said, no. He said, I turn what if into so what? I love that. Oh, that's such a good motto.

Have you gone on to open mic nights since and thought that's the wise words? Who would like some pecan pie? Me. I, for one, would love some of your pecan pie. Jess, would you get a little jug out? What if I eat the whole pecan pie? So what if I eat the whole pecan pie? Jess, just get a little jug out? What if I eat the whole pecan pie? So what if I eat the whole pecan pie? Jess, just get a little

jug, darling. Now, can I ask, will it be sufficiently moist? Oh my God, I don't know. Rob, do you cook? No, I've flirted with cooking over the years. It's something I'd like to do, and when I do it, I enjoy it in a kind over the years. It's something I'd like to do. And when I do it, I enjoy it in a kind of therapeutic way.

Do you? I like the beginning. Yeah, because I'm not, if I had to do it all the time, but I think if you can treat yourself to just doing it now and again, I love the beginning, middle and end nature of it. Do you barbecue? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm Mr. Barbecue, but that doesn't count.

Are you? Yeah, yeah. Gas or cold? Gas. But I actually went to a i went to a day-long course it was given to me as a christmas present once at the weber academy in uh wow weber academy and if that if that doesn't give me a free new barbecue i know jesse that is it's a good thing it's good yeah it's a It's a day long. Yeah, it's great fun. It's really enjoyable. That's brilliant.

And I switched to gas after that because we were always charcoal and a little snobby, if I'm being very honest. The Weber, have you got the Spirit? The small one. No, it's got a big one. Oh, you've got a big one. I've got a big one, yeah. And the general opinion at home is that I've got better. Really? Since the academy?

Well no, since lockdown really because we did more of it in the lockdown The difference is I take a bit of a chance now as to whether or not it's done as opposed to cremating it I layer on the other side so that there's a lot more flame You let it rest

It's always done but I don't overdo it in the way I used to Have you got a meat thermometer? i don't need it i've asked i go on instinct do you do like the poking of the finger he's an instinctive i'm an instinctive um you can tell i've had a drink i'm starting to get i'm having to pull myself back from certain jokes um oh no carry on I'm waiting for them I am with the barbecuers I know yes so I've got better at it anyway and my wife says

oh you've got better you've got better because there's more flavour do you feel proud yes I do did you when you graduated from the Weber Academy what do they give you

as a symbol of your graduation? I think they basically try to sell you stuff is what happens. They say, you're so good Mr Brydon, would you like to buy this? They don't give you a hat and tongs. They might, it was a few years ago. But seriously, they taught you

for example, the importance of cooking with the lid on and all the stuff you can do with indirect heat. So as opposed to just, you know, you put the thing at the other side and you have the heat down at that end. So it's just like an oven, really. But also chocolate puddings done. Oh, wow. No, seriously, in the barbecue.

Have you done it since? Yes. Once. Does anyone want a bit more ice cream? I'm done, Mum. Oh, no, no, I mustn't i i i'm like landscaping my garden and so the children can't use it but i my landscaping designer i was going with that nobody else does oh okay yeah bejeweled rice landscape got Rob. I looked round and saw Alice Good.

Whereas you two were blissfully unaware. I wanted to talk about my layout. I'm completely okay. God, you are drunk, Rob. If you want to talk about your layout,

please don't let me stop you. It's Christmas. I think you probably could get diabetes after that pecan pie. I really love pecan pie. Good. So thank you, Mum. Delicious. Thank you for dinner.

It's too sweet. I don't think so. Well, it was sweet, but, you know, in moderation. Yeah. Anyway, back to your layout. What is your karaoke song, Rob? We ask everyone that. My karaoke song?

Oh, probably Delilah. Oh. Oh, for God's sake. I sing that in this show. Well, it should really stick together, doesn't it? Bloody hell. There you look. Why go elsewhere?

Should we just have one chorus of it? Or, well, no, hang on. No, I'd rather sing something that. Okay, go on, sing something. Well, we've already sung a bit of Guilty. No, I'd like another one. Guilty is a great album. Gu. Well, we've already sung a bit of Guilty. No, I'd like another one. Guilty is a great album. Guilty's a good one.

Don't you love that album? Oh, yeah. I'm a man of information I'm a stranger to the cost Been watching you, watching me, baby But the pain begins And finding you high A room with a view

Is heaven and home Is that the one that's got Woman in Love in? Yeah. I am a woman It's a ride on a plane What does he go? Life is a moment in time

When the dream is gone It's a lonely place I kiss the morning goodbye I stumble and fall But I give you it all. I am a woman in love. We're very low now. And I'll do anything to get you into my world and hold you within.

It's a right I defend. Beautiful vibrato. Over and over again What will I do? You came into it You were in too soon You were in too soon

Oh that's me In too soon Anyway Okay well Rob Brydon It's been an absolute pleasure Oh my pleasure Losing my voice

for my tour with you and talking to you about Honestly you're just lovely and thank you very, very much for doing this. Thank you for having me.

Well, Mum, Rob didn't want to go, much like Ed Miliband. We couldn't get him out the door. Darling, they all want to stay. Yeah, they do. Maybe I'll open a boarding house. Um-pa-pa, um-pa-pa, that's how it goes. Maybe you could play Nancy in his adaptation. Did she have a boarding house?

I don't know, I just kind of... His adaptation of Milkwood. Nancy wasn't in Milkwood, darling. No, I'm just talking about Oliver. Maybe we need to bring Oliver. Do you think it is time for Oliver to come back? Do you think all Welsh people do Milkwood? I don't know.

Because Michael Sheen did, you see. Don't even know what Milkwood is. And Tom Jones has done it. So I think every Welshman, because, yeah. Well, I loved having Rob Brydon on. He was charming. Yeah, he was just a delight with lovely stories. He was a gentleman.

Very gentle. Had fabulous hair. And he did look a bit like Anton Dupin. Yeah. Do you think he was happy about us making that comparison? I think it was okay. Well, I think Anton Dpec's quite effective. Yeah, me too.

I think he's a great judge. I'd love him on that podcast. We'd actually quite like... Can Rob Brydon go and speak to his cousin Anton and see if we can get him on? I really, really enjoyed chatting to him. He's just funny and it is nice being with comedians. Yeah.

I think we've been blessed with very good comedians that have come on this show. Darling, I think we've been blessed with the most fabulous guests this year. People who like food and like a drink. Ask Stanley. Speaking of which, Mum, you need to fill the old glass. Yeah, I know. Thank you so much to Rob Brydon for coming on and being very good fun.

Thanks to Mum for making a delicious meal. Yakida. Thank you, Yakida. And thank you to all of you for listening to Table Manners. We couldn't do it without you. Well, we could actually, but it would be a bit sad,

wouldn't it?