Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S13 Ep 21: Vanessa Feltz

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

The live show finale.. our second night from the London Palladium with the one and only Vanessa Feltz. Now seasoned West End pros, we put our feet up and let our guest do most of the talking. And frankly, I was completely grateful. If mum's red lip and leopard print are going to be upstaged by anyone, let it be Ms Feltz; rockin up in a sequin ball gown, along with a tower of Challah made by her daughter. This powerhouse talks to us about growing up in Totteridge and how her life revolved around food. We discuss her grandma’s chopped liver, the truth about custard, garage brunches & we even discuss whether semen is… ahem….Kosher? Thank you everyone that came to our first live tour, it was so, so wonderful to meet so many of you, offer out vats of mum’s chicken soup and laugh ever so much. We had such a great time, mum even got tour blues on the Tuesday. We’ll be back next week with some uncensored audio from our live Q&As 🤪 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good evening, London! How are we? Oh it's such a pleasure to have you in the audience. Thank you so much for being here. This is night two of the sold out London Palladium show. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I need to behave tonight because I actually have my son's teacher in the audience. And actually you know what, whilst we're here, if he does say shit or fuck, it's from me, but we all know that now, and he's not a bad kid. Okay?

But listen, I know why you're here. You like the podcast. You like the chat about food and family. But you really love my mum. a phrofiad, ond rydych chi wir yn hoffi fy mam. Felly, a ydym ni'n rhoi cymaint o awgrymiadau rapturus i Lenny Ware? Diolch, darlene. Mae'n iawn. O, mae'n ddiddorol heno, mam. Helo. Helo, bawb. Helo. Diolch, darlene. Ydych chi'n iawn? O, mae'n ddiddorol heno, mam. O, hi. Hi, bawb.

Hi. Diolch, darlene. Hi. Sut ydych chi'n teimlo heno, mam? Rwy'n teimlo ychydig fel, wyddoch chi, rydych chi'n rhywbeth... Rwy'n mynd i fyny i fyny i fyny nawr, Jess. Ie? Dwi'n hoffi ei fod yn dod â'i llawr ar ystadeg. Pwy bynnag yw hwn.

Fel os bydd rhywun yn ei dynnu'n ystadeg. Nid yw. O, rydych chi, felly mae angen i ni ei gadw yno. Rwy'n cael fy glasau yno, Jessie. Ac mae'n llyfrdd. Ac mae'n llyfrdd. Felly, beth fydd yn digwydd heno? Ydych chi'n teimlo'n dda iawn?

Ydych chi'n teimlo'n dda iawn. Ydych chi'n teimlo'n dda iawn. Ydych chi'n teimlo'n dda iawn. Ydych chi'n teimlo'n dda iawn. Ydych chi'n teimlo'n dda iawn. Ydych chi'n teimlo'n dda iawn. are so she needs to keep it there right my glasses in there Jessie and it's leopard print and it's leopard print so what do you feel is gonna happen tonight is it gonna be better than last night I think it's going to be a fantastic night how have you found your first tour we've spent a lot of time together darling but we spend a lot of time together anyway I know It's just been heightened. Heightened. Better? I don't know. It's one thing going on tour in a splitter van with your bandmates and like, you know, talking about, I don't know, stuff. I don't know. With my mum, it's just talking about chicken

soup all the time How many liters of chicken soup do you think you've made in this tour 50? How many matzo balls have you made over a hundred? It's I'm actually don't ever want to see a chicken again to be perfectly frank That's been a lot of chicken soup. There is some tonight if anybody wants to try it now And you've also made a trifle tonight made a trifle Mae llawer o gwasgwch, ond mae rhai yma heno, os oes unrhyw un eisiau ei geisio. Mae gennych chi hefyd gwneud triffle heno. Mae gennym ni gwneud triffle, ie. Mae ein ffrind bach, Mash, wedi gwneud rhai canopau i ni a'r gwirfoddolwyr,

oherwydd rydym wedi sylweddoli bod e'n eithaf anodd i wneud... Wel, mae mam yn dweud y gwirfoddol. Nid yw hi'n gallu gwneud bwyd yn y dydd, yn ogystal â chael ei hwn a'i gwneud yn y dydd, ac hefyd yn ceisio... Yn fath, roedd hi'n rhaid i hi ddynnu allan a gael ei gynnal i gydag heno. to zone out and get ready for tonight. So we've got some canapes made by Lovely Mash. There's lots of delicious things. There's like crab chicory. There's some cup of something with a pea puree. Anyway, it looks all very delicious and it's going to be offered up to our guest. Now, should we talk about who the guest is? Well, she came in to the entrance she out glammed you she out glammed me by a zillion sequins she looks absolutely so phenomenal we have been desperate to have yes this woman on our podcast for years she said to us why have you never asked me? And I said, well, we were saving you for the big one. So I am such a fan of her and so are you.

She's clever, witty, funny. Opinionated. Very opinionated. Passionate. Passionate and super glamorous. Please, can everyone give it up for Vanessa Feltz. Yay. Wow. Yes.z. Wow. Yes.

Whoa. Yes. And Vanessa. This is for you, ladies. This is for you. Good evening, everyone. My gosh. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. I mean, you've just entered with challah bread, and I thank you for that. Who is this by, Vanessa? This is by the challah mummy, and I am the challah mummy's mummy. So you're the challah grandma?

I'm the challah bubba, or the challah grandma, whatever you want to call it. My daughter, Allegra Benita, turned from a tax lawyer into a baker of challah. I mean, they're beautiful. I mean, don't ask me how that happened or why it happened, but it happened. And look at these gorgeous challahs, the plaited loaf. Speaking of challah bread, thank you so much, Allegra.

You're in the audience. Where is she, Allegra? We demanded that you brought this. So thank you. There she is. Love you. Love you. Thank you.

Love you. And she looks good. You see how gorgeous she looks? Look at that dress she's wearing. Are you trying to set her up with someone? She looks gorgeous. No, she's married to a very tall Frenchman. Thank God.

That was a relief, I must say. Getting the daughters married was such a relief. I could finally sleep at night after that. No, that was a huge strain. Did you feel the same? No, darling. You were going out with your boyfriend from the age of 17. It was on the cards for a long time.

Your other daughter got married in Las Vegas, but we didn't know about it. No, we didn't, darling. And you ended up at the door of a veil. And that's about that. So, no, Huller reminds me of when I was in, I was at Sussex University, and I, woo, yeah, it was good, it was all right, wasn't it?

And I tried to embrace my Judaism when I was in Sussex University, and I made friends with a girl called Maytel, and I loved her, and she was very kind of... I don't know, she was like a different... She was a North London Jew, and she was kind of exotic to me, and I found her very exciting. Anyway, she was like, I don't know why I was doing this

and not just taking drugs on the pier or something like that. You were making colour. I was making colour with the Lubavitch. But that's a rounded education. That's when it comes in much more use. yn y pier neu rywbeth fel hynny. Roeddwch yn gwneud cwllr. Roeddwn i'n gwneud cwllr gyda'r Lubowitsch. Ond dyna'r addysg ymroddedig. Dyna'r peth sy'n fwy ddefnyddiol. Y drws y gallwch chi ei wneud yn y nesaf. Mae'n rhaid i chi ddysgu'r ffordd o wneud cwllr. Yr oedden nhw'n gwneud cwllr. Yn ystod hynny, a fyddai'n dda i chi? A fyddai'n dda i chi? Fe fyddwn i'n hoffi glas. Roeddwn i'n dweud nad oeddwn i'n mynd i'n drin. Mae hi wedi gwneud i mi ddrin mor llawer yn y diwrnod diwetha in the last 10 days. It's stressful. Me, Jessie. So anyway, I was making challah with Vlubovic. Have you ever tried to make it with your daughter?

No. You just, do you eat it? No, I've got O levels, I've got A levels, I read English literature at Cambridge. Do I need to make challah? If I want a challah, I'll buy one at Grodinsky's like any sane person. I've never, ever tried to make one, and I never will. Cheers. Or change a plug, or retire, or many other things. L'chaim.

L'chaim. Cheers. Your good health. Cheers. This is better than I could ever have imagined. So, Vanessa. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Totteridge, the Beverly Hills of North London.

And we called it the swimming pool and chopped liver belt so it was a deprived childhood as you can imagine but every single facet of our lives was centered around food every single minute so someone got divorced you cooked a chicken and rushed over with it someone had a baby you cooked a chicken and rushed over with someone was a bit bored it was a Tuesday afternoon you cooked a chicken and you rushed over with it you know somebody was looking at a loose end you made a schnitzel you took some over someone's baby wouldn't eat anything unless it had tin pears all over it you

pureed the pears you took them round to persuade the baby to eat it was the whole thing was about food food when you're sad food when you're happy food when you're mad you're sugar eat some food the whole thing was about eating and usually you had a snack first before dinner in case god forbid you might be hungry at any point the idea that you would ever actually be hungry was such anathema to every single inhabitant of Totteridge and also you know the environs beyond that that you never stood a chance never ever being hungry we think that's completely normal ac yn y tu allan, nad ydych chi wedi gwneud unrhyw gyfle. Ni'n credu bod hynny'n hollbwysig. Iawn, yn hollbwysig.

Iawn, yn hollbwysig. Felly, pwy oedd yn cwcio? Yn y bôn, yn y bôn, yn y bôn, yn y bôn. Yn y bôn, pan oeddwn i'n bach, roedd fy mab, Valerie, a hefyd fy dau mam-dau. Roedd yna ddau mam-dau. soul and also my two grandmas. And my two grandmas, one lived in Stamwell, one lived in Wilsdon, we lived in Toshridge, but my grandmas were prolific cooks and

cooked with verve and imagination and very proud of ownership of their particular chopped liver, for example. So two grandmas, two Friday nights, chopped liver at both. Totally different food experiences. Which was better better don't ask me to

say that i'm gonna have to kill myself how could i choose between my grandma's between two adorable boobers that's not possible was it very different how they prepared like totally different so grandma sybil's chocolate i don't know what yours is like but grandma sybil's chocolate was more like a sort of pate so darker coarser maybe although i don't think she would have liked paté. Felly, yn ddark, yn llwyf, efallai, er nad ydw i'n meddwl y byddai hi'n hoffi'r gair honno, ond, chi'n gwbod, yn fwy cymryd, yn llwyf, mae'n amlwg ei fod yn cael ei fod yn crag, chi'n gwybod, y math hwnnw o beth. Ac roedd babs o'r fferm babau yn fwy o ddwyll, yn fwy llwyf, yn fwy llwyf. Beth ydwch chi'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig.

Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. Roedd e'n bwysig. No, never. If you want to make a big exception for me this evening, two grandmas, two sets of chicken soup, completely different.

Well, I heard a very terrible rumour about you. What is that? That you put sugar in your chicken soup. That's not something I can discuss in public, I'm afraid. There are some things, if you want to ask about my sex life, that I can talk about, but my chicken soup... Well, that will be over to you later. My chicken soup recipe is 100% percent secret and I and actually I mean

I don't know what how far to go with this but I would go so far as to deny that rumor about the sugar but I wouldn't deny a certain mysterious sweetness but I'm not going to tell you I'm not telling you I'm not going to I know you want me to but I'm not going to palladium schmalladium I'm not telling you and that's it you couldn't you. I know you want me to, but I'm not going to. Palladium schmalladium. I'm not telling you. And that's it. You couldn't pay me to give you the secret of my chicken soup. As to go with me to my grave, I'm never going to tell you. So what was one of your favorite dishes that your mum made for you?

Oh, hello. I should take your earring off. Take my earring off? This is Alice, by the way. This is Alice. This is producer Alice. This earring? What's my earring? It is quite bland. It's going to ruin the whole symmetry by the way. This is producer Alice. This earring? What's my earring?

It is quite bland. It's going to ruin the whole symmetry of the look. Now with just one earring, I look like that. I'm so sorry, Vanessa. So maybe I take off the other earring. Would I retain one earring? Then what to do for the purposes of glamour? But we all appreciated the effort.

If I'd known you were going to ask me to take my earring off, I would have reconsidered the whole event quite frankly. I'm so sorry. I've ruined the whole look. Have you got... Oh, Lenny's managed to keep hers on. Exactly, she's got hers on. I think mine's not as far...

Anyway. Anyway. Okay, so, Valerie. Yes. What's one of your favourite dishes that she made? My mother used to make, obviously, all the traditional things, but also the most fantastic veal escalope, which was very,

very, very thin. She used to beat it thin. She used to pound on this meat. I think she probably took out on the meat everything she really felt about my father. Normal. Bam! In the underwear business. Bam! Not making enough money and selling enough windseer pyjamas. Bam! And she really used to take it out on

the veal. And then there was the dipping it in the beaten egg and then there was the frying it in the matzo meal of course not ordinary breadcrumbs and then it was just the most fragrant just thin delicate absolutely crispy but also moist in the middle I think the absolutely perfect veal escala. Did you cook with her? Not really. I mostly ate and she cooked. But one thing I really do remember about my mother's cooking was she was a terrific fryer of fish, but also absolutely adamant

that she didn't want the curtains to smell of fried fish. So you would come home from school and find my mother in the garden, in Totteridge, with the deep fat fryer or whatever it was, plugged into the lawn mower extension. I'm really true. Making chopped and fried. Busyly frying fish in the garden, so that the smell didn't get into the curtains. It makes sense when you think about it, doesn't it really?

It does linger for about two days, making chopped and fried. You never make it. I don't, no, no. You don't fry fish? I have done in the past but I used to wear a shower cap and yeah because everything smells of fish. Exactly what about the filter fish boiled the filter fish fried? Yeah. I mean that's a conversation. I think fried all the way. What about boiled with a little bit of diced carrot on top? I like that. No? Not good? No I don't know I'm not sure. No? Not sure. With a bit of crane on the side?

I love crane. Yeah. Lovely thing. So I want to know, so when you went to Cambridge, what did you read there? English literature. So after that, did you go straight into... I'm going to say one more thing about food in Cambridge. Go on, please.

I think my parents thought that I might fade away there in that land of Gentile food, and they were right. There was nothing to eat in the whole of Cambridge. Absolutely nothing. Also Also it was freezing cold. And the wind blew straight from Siberia to Cambridge. You know there isn't a tree, there's not a mountain, there's not one thing between the two.

And the wind comes from the Urals right into, and my father was in the underwear business and he had to keep sending me thermal vests which were terrible for my sex life. So every time I was on the verge of getting off with some young, you know, intellectual, looked a bit like Kafka, but better looking and very well endowed, I would have to make my excuses, disappear onto the landing and hurl a Winsiet vest out of the window into

the court. And sometimes there'd be a statue, classical statue of Henry VIII or something in the morning wearing one of my father's thermal vests that I had curled there in the evening so that was it so anyway once my mum insisted that I invite I hope she's not in the audience now but a rather chubby friend from Totteridge to come and stay for the weekend because she might meet a nice boy if she came to stay for the weekend so you I mean yeah okay so you were telling were you telling her that there were lots of handsome, gorgeous... I had to say, yes, she can come and stay.

Anyway, she arrived off the train carrying a tongue that my mother had made. That's not gonna get you laid. And she made the tongue curled around a sort of a pudding basin. Do you ever do that? Yeah, I did that. And she weighed it down with, it looked like a medieval iron, squashing this tongue, and the tongue was carved all the way around the spoon, something like that.

And anyway, this girl who was rather chubby arrived from Tortourage, schlepping the tongue with her, and somehow, during the course of the weekend, she ate it. The whole tongue? True story. Is she here or not? If she's here, she knows that's true. Not exaggerating, she ate the whole tongue. It was a huge ox tongue. Whilst you were busy having sex? Yes.'s here, she knows that's true. I'm not exaggerating. She ate the whole time. It was a huge ox stunt.

Whilst you were busy having sex? Yes. Right, OK, got it. Did your parents used to visit? Yes. On the off chance that they would bring bagels on. My parents used to come on a Sunday morning and they'd arrive and, of course, they wouldn't tell you that it was such a big surprise.

They'd bring bagels from Manchester and, of course, they'd find an assortment of people all hung over in the house. ddim yn dweud wrthych chi, roedd yn rhywbeth mor anhygoel. Roeddent yn dod â bagels o Manchester ac wrth gwrs, roeddant yn dod â chyfnod o bobl yn y tŷ, nad oeddent yn gallu cyfrannu. Ac yna byddai fy mam yn dechrau gwneud prynhawn a bagels a bwyd a chymryd i bawb yno. Ydy'r unigol y byddai gennych chi orgellau ar Brifysgol Birmingham ac roedd eich mam yn eu cymryd? Nid oedd gen i orge didn't have orders ever, Jessie. The less about that, the better, thank you. So, you went to Cambridge and you are...

Did you go straight into broadcasting after that? Is that what you always wanted to do? And were your parents happy about this? I just wanted to get married. I grew up in Fiddler on the Roof. And that was all that it was about. So, the whole Cambridge thing was a kind of a by-the-by sort of interlude en route to bagging a husband, you know, an eligible husband.

So did I want to broadcast? God, no, I just needed to get married urgently. When I came back from Cambridge with the bath mat, the kettle, you know, all the things that I'd taken up to university in the first place, my parents were absolutely horrified to see me back again in the bedroom at home and my father said darling you've delighted us long enough true please you can tell it's true so it was urgent to get married just coming up for 21 but old that was old when did you decaying I was ancient at that point I was a total embarrassment when did did you get married? 22.

To a doctor that my grandma chose. You know that story? Do you know that story? I don't know. I mean, it used to be a really happy ending story, but of course we've been violently divorced. It's not that great now, but it used to be great. At one time it was terrific. So a doctor came in to take a blood sample from my grandma at UCH hospital, and she said, are you married? Oh, my goodness. And he said, no. She said, are you Jewish? He said, yes.

She said, have I got a girl for you? Oh, my goodness. And when I arrived with a bunch of grapes to visit my grandma, she said, okay, borrow my lipstick, do something with your hair, and go down to Casualty and introduce yourself to this doctor I met. And I said, oh, grandma, you don't mean, she said, am I your grandma? Do I know what's best for you? No, go. And I went. And I walked into Casualty at UCH, and I said, I'm Mrs. Orenstein's granddaughter. She sent me down to, and anyway, this doctor came out in a white coat, and I said,

you know, my grandma sent me down. He wrote my number on his white clinical coat in biro and my grandma went mad what you didn't have it written on a piece of paper he'll send that coat to the laundry he'll never phone you anyway he did phone me we got married the best thing about the two beautiful daughters the divorce not so good not so good but you're happy now happy now yes yes. And how did you meet your current are you married? No we're not married but we've been engaged for 16 hellish years we've got nothing in common have we nothing nothing we've got one thing in common to anyone who knows us knows we've got nothing in common nothing to talk about we've got nothing to stay in and do. What

about food? Food well he's actually he's a very good cook funny enough He's so he's from Essex but of Nigerian origin Takes the size 14 and a half shoe I'm not saying anything I'm saying the size of the shoe Allegra. What do you do in these situations? That's all I'm saying, the size of the shoe. Allegra, what do you do in these situations? That's all I want to know.

Someone just cuddle Allegra right now. Someone is cuddling her. That's very nice. So you have nothing in common. We have nothing in common. And obviously everybody thought it couldn't possibly work, especially us. It wasn't that everybody said it. We thought it was...

But how did you meet? We met because when I did the first ever Celebrity Big Brother, that's the one where I wore a leopard skin dressing gown and wrote on the table and told Big Brother to fuck off that one. We like that. We know about that. Big clap over that. Yeah, hi.

And I was in with Keith Duffy from Boyzone and Keith Duffy's pal was Ben and he said to Ben you're gonna really like Vanessa we were both fixed up with other people at the time but years later we did get together and we still are we've had 16 years together do you remember your first date and did it involve any food oh god the whole thing was just agonizing really he said I'll tell you why because he's 10 years younger than me but he looks so fucking young and I thought he could be like 25 years younger than me or 30 I'm not had no idea so I couldn't think for

a moment he could possibly fancy me I think that was the thing that really clinched it because I wasn't flirting because I didn't think I was he was in the market for a woman of my geriatric antiquity so I really wasn't going for it so I think I was quite relaxed and quite natural, but I was just wanting to know how old is he anyway? And he turns out to be exactly 10 years younger than me. So I know I don't look it of course, and I'm a walking miracle, but I was 60 in February. And you'll know that that means he's about to be 50.

And for a toy boy, that's old, right? And I reckon it's time to trade him in, don't you think so? I mean, he's done good service for 16 years, but, you know. He's outgrown the rule, hasn't he? How's his jell-o-frice? His jell-o-frice? I thought you were going to say genitals. No, I wasn't. Did you not think that she was going to say that? I'm talking about food for myself.

How's his jell-o-frice? Excellent. No, he's a really good cook. Is he? Yes. How bright a colour and how hot is it? It's very hot and it's very vivid. And also he makes something called a muggerjug chicken, which is very full of flavour.

Muggerjug chicken? Yes, it's chicken with lots of spices and paprika and all sorts of things. But he thinks that he's educated my palate over the years to eat much more spicy food than I would have done when I first met him. And has he? Probably, yes, because I'm less shocked by it than I used to be. Have you educated him on Jewish food, or do you cook that kind of thing? I've educated him on Yiddish. He's really pretty good.

What's his favourite word? Oh, he loves mashuga. He loves the whole thing. He's very into it. He's very good friends with the chief rabbi, Rabbi Mervis. He says, Ben, my whole thing. He's very into it. He's very good friends with the Chief Rabbi, Rabbi Mervis. There's Ben, my son. It's all very, you know, it's quite good. We're united colors of Benetton. It's really very nice.

And also he's forever singing at people's bar mitzvahs. And he's always, because they always ask him to. Can he give me some of those gigs? Well, exactly. And he's always introduced as our cousin Ben, the only member of our family who can hold a tune. Oh. So that's nice, right?

Sweet. Very, very nice. And also the grandchildren definitely take after him in many ways. No, they really do. So I need to know about your cooking. Yes. Oh, gosh. This is the short part of the show. Oh, really?

This is the very short part. Well, maybe I'll ask Allegra. Do you think you're a good cook? I'm a serviceable cook. Okay. So I have a limit, I mean this is not a good moment for me, sorry. I could fib a bit and sort of zhuzh it up rather, but I just tell the truth. A serviceable basic menu of about six dishes in rotation really. Okay. You know, salmon in foil, nothing wrong with that. No.

Sticky chops, you know with brown sugar, demerara, nothing wrong with that. No. Sticky chops, you know, with brown sugar, demerara, nothing wrong with that. Roast chicken. Yeah. Shepherd's pie, spag bol. I think that Alice has gone over there to check whether Allegra can confirm or deny whether you... What's your favourite dish of your mum's? When the microwave went ping. Don't say that!

No, you traitor! Don't say that in public, that's shocking! Was that a microwave? When the microwave goes ping, she said. Oh, she went, when the microwave goes ping, I thought it was a microwave machine. Yeah, when the microwave goes ping, she said, oh, just like mummy used to make. What's wrong with that? I like...

That's okay. So is that why you had to really get into baking bread and stuff, because your mother wasn't, you know, feeding you properly with... Was it lots of microwave stuff? No, mum... She was working really hard, and she lots of microwave stuff no mom she was working really hard and she was single parent and she was just out working and earning a living and trying to bring us up as young independent women who could choose to my best meatballs meatballs I make a reasonable meal. But I need to talk about... Okay. Vanessa, you actually... No, I'm just really trying to think of anything else I've ever cooked in my life.

No, we're going to celebrate. I'm properly trying to think of anything. Allegra, come on. I must have made something else over the years. Have I not? Seriously. Meatballs, spag bol. I made a nice birthday cake covered in Smarties when I was two.

Okay, I can make a birthday cake. A flowerless birthday cake. Okay, I once made a flowerless birthday cake okay I once made a flowerless birthday cake just one I can make a reasonable cheesecake not bad you were I'm ashamed no I just I was busy and I was doing other things I don't know I never really it's not that I didn't eat it was just I didn't cook no but speaking about the other things that you were doing now you are known as the most hard-working woman in broadcasting because I believe that this is how your day goes, right? You do Radio 2, 4 till 6.

6.30. Yeah. Then you go straight to Radio London. 7 till 10. 7 till 10. Then you hop on a bike to go to This Morning. That's right. And I write a newspaper column while speaking on the radio,

but don't tell anyone that. Yeah. I think a few microwave dishes is absolutely fine. Do you still love your job? Oh, yes. Oh, my God, yes. I love my jobs. I love the radio. Everybody loves the radio, because the radio is just so...

It's very intimate, because you're talking... You always must imagine that you're talking to just one person. That's why I say lovely listener. People think it's lovely listeners. It's not. It's lovely listener. You, you individual, personal, actual human that I am talking to voice to voice, heart to heart, brain to brain. And suddenly you find that people will ring in and they will tell you the most extraordinary things. And sometimes we'll tell you things they've never told their

own family. You know, and sometimes they're incredibly heartwarming. Sometimes they're utterly, utterly soul destroying. And, you know, it's a very privileged position to be in, isn't it, where people will confide in you, and they will disburden themselves, and they will also tell you amazingly funny and incredible things that they're doing. It's really great. And on the radio, you can move as swiftly as you like. So, if you suddenly think of a story that appeals to you or it puts you in mind of something else, you can follow the stream of your consciousness wherever you like. On the television, it's much more prescribed. If you're meant to be interviewing that person for 10 minutes, you have to interview them. You can't say, well, this was terribly boring,

move on. Let's talk about something else. You're stuck discussing whatever it is they were meant to do. But the radio is fluid and immediate and intimate and special, really special. And I've been so lucky because I broadcast on 7-7 that day when there were bombs on the train and bombs on the bus and everyone's phone went down and nobody knew if their family had actually been on the bus or been on the train and were they coming home.

People started to walk home from central London, you remember that? And the radio was the only lifeline. It was kind of the umbilical cord linking people and and informing people in a very calm way of what they needed to know and where their family members were and all that kind of thing i mean i'll never forget that day obviously it's one of those things where you come out of the studio and you sort of emerge kind of blinking into the real world and you're astounded to see people behaving completely normally in the street because you've been so completely absorbed in this tragedy

that you can't believe that everybody isn't in the same sort of vortex of anxiety. And it was really amazing. And obviously broadcasting right through the pandemic, when people were terrified, and so was I. And yet you're trying to keep everything as calm as you can, be informative, be reassuringuring don't be patronizing don't try and say something you don't know is true but on the other hand don't voice your fears and make people even more nervous than they already are it's it's a really special

thing to do and if you say do I love it you can see I love it I absolutely am very very lucky to do it. Did you work from home? I mean it, you can see I mean it. Did you work from home? No, we were in the studio every single day. You went every day? Yes, yeah. And we were scared to touch the lift button,

scared to touch the lift door. None of us could go in the same studio as each other. It was a most peculiar experience doing it. But when people were all alone at home, the radio was a really big thing. So, Last Supper, Vanessa. Starter, main, pudding, drink of choice. Have you got any answers for us? Yes, I have. So I don't exactly remember which dentist it was or gynecologist, but I was sitting in a waiting room. I must have probably been waiting for an internal examination, you know, that wait where you're just thinking,

oh, the speculum, how cold is it going to be? And what tune is the gynae going to whistle? They always whistle when they do it, don't they? It's just so... Anyway, I was sitting in this waiting room somewhere about, I suppose it must have been about 30 years ago. And I was reading some old magazine covered in germs, you know, as you do. And it mentioned a place I'd never heard of in my life called Ballymaloe. Has anybody heard of it?

Yeah. Yeah. And you spell it Ballymaloe, and it's in East Cork. It's beautiful, right? Yeah. It's in East Cork, in a place called Shanagari. And the sort of thing about it is that it is a real family house, as opposed to a pretend country house hotel.

It's real, they're a real family, real boots, real dogs, the real family living their real life. But that a legendary woman called Myrtle Allen, who was the mother of Irish cookery, invented this farm-to-fork philosophy where you essentially... I mean, now it sounds quite normal, then it didn't. You cook what's in season, you cook what you can pick,

you cook what you can see, you cook something you can catch from there or something that's in the field there, and that's what you eat and you make it immediately and it's fresh and it's simple and it's special. And when I was reading about this, I just thought, oh my God, I'd absolutely love to go there. Anyway, we did go there and it became one of these places that in your mind's eye you dream of, you know, when you're not there. You kind of, because I'm Jewish, we don't have ancestral homes or stately homes or any, we never even had a bloody time show in Marbella, we had nothing, you know, nothing much, but Ballybaloo became that

thing, the place you dream of in my soul. Is that why you bought a place in Ireland? So in 2017, every time I went there was Easter, and they had all this property porn, you know, could I have a monastery, could I have a castle, no, you can't afford can't afford that no definitely not but in 2017 I had these wonderful grandchildren and I wanted to buy them a blade of grass more than anything else and so I bought a house kind of round the corner from Ballymalu in Chandigarh in Ballycotton Bay in Ireland it's so far at the edge of Ireland that if you go to the end of the road you have to turn round it's the edge it's the very end and the food is is sublime it I mean people come from all over the world to eat it because...a'r ddwy ffordd, mae'n rhaid i chi ddod o gwmpas. Yn y bryd, yn y bryd cyfnod. Ac mae'r bwyd yn ddwyf. Mae pobl yn dod o gwmpas i'w bwydo.

Mae'n ysgol bwydgwriaeth hefyd. Yn y bwydgwriaeth Ballymaloe. A wnaethoch chi wneud y clases bwydgwriaeth? Byddwn i'n gwneud. Mae Hanneke yn y pryd. Mae Allegra wedi gwneud argyfwngau o'r bwydgwriaeth. Rwy'n mynd i geisio. Os ydych chi eisiau bwyd hefyd... Mae fy mab-bab yn gwneud cwrsau yno. Allegra has done a lot of demonstrations at the cookery school. I'm going to try some of the food as well. And my grandbabies have done courses there.

They've learned to do making butter and things like that. They're only little. They've had a marvellous time. So we have a few little bits and bobs. Thank you. I'm not going to... I've now got a mouthful. That's amazing. But I'm just trying to think how to talk, eat and... Have a little mouthful.

I might do what my grandma did with the misters and have a little mouthful and you just talk about just stick it down my bra and eat it on the way home oh sugar hold on a minute how do I eat that while talking to you so my final, my last meal and I hope that's not for a good 120 years because I've got a lot of living to do I hope and on the subject of that actually

I'm older now than my mother ever was what about that that's such a weird feeling isn't it you can't believe you're ever gonna be older than your own mum so my mum died at the age of 57 I'm now 60 so that's amazing isn't it and for my final meal which I hope won't be for a long long time I would go to Ballymaloe if you would let me absolutely and for the first course of the hors d'oeuvre I would probably have fresh mackerel caught in Ballycotton Bay barely cooked really just kind of seared very briefly and you know maybe with some sampha yeah like that that they've just picked and for

the main course I would probably have them with apologies to all vegans and vegetarians a lamb that I had just seen that morning gambling about the other okay sorry am I not allowed to say that public forgive me. Please forgive me. It's not personal I've got nothing against the animal at all, but that is it you're asking me. That's what I would have and then for pudding or for dessert Myrtle Allen who's the legend of Ballymalu made this made this pudding have you heard of it called carrageen moss? Does anyone ever really has that who has that. Who's eaten that? You have. And you're from Cork. Oh, hello. Hello. Hi. And it's the most wonderful concoction, isn't it?

They make it with dried actual carrageen moss, which is a kind of seaweed, right? And then it's with milk, I think. And what else? Nutmeg or something? Cinnamon. Cinnamon. And it makes a Cynhyrchu gyda llaw, rwy'n credu, a beth arall? Cynhyrchu neu rhywbeth? Cynhamon. Cynhamon. Ac mae'n gwneud rhywbeth fel ysgafn, fel bwyd, ddelys. Ychydig fel puding rais, ond mae'n cael ei wneud gyda chyfn. A ydych chi o hyd wedi cael hyn? Nid wyf hyd wedi clywed hynny.

Mae'n ychydig yn ddelys. Dwi'n credu ein bod angen mynd yno. Dwi'n credu ein bod angen mynd yno. Gwyd, fluffy, ychydig ymddygiad â'r môr, ymddygiad o ffantasi, beth fyddwch chi'n fyddo chi'n fyddo wrth i chi fyw, y math hwnnw. Mae'n ddelys iawn iawn iawn iawn. Ydy hynny'n ddelys da iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn iawn ia taste of the sea, taste of fantasy, what you dream you'll be when you grow up, that kind of thing. It's really delicious, absolutely delicious. Is that a good final meal? That's amazing. Isn't that nice? I've never had it. Okay, you talk and let me eat this. Yeah, eat that.

These are gorgeous. Very good. Thank you, Matt. Would you wash it down with Guinness? Yes. You would? I would. Do you like draft Guinness, sir? The thing about the Guinness in Ireland is it tastes totally different from the Guinness everywhere else. Everyone says that, and it's true, isn't it? That lady from court.

Absolutely delicious, yes. Now, who would be at your... Of course, family would be there, but who would you have around that last supper dinner table? Who would I have? Really good. I wouldn't mind you two. I think you're pretty good company.

If you're free, I'll have you there at the final hurdle. Absolutely. I have Sigmund Freud to tell me what's been wrong with me all these years. That's a brilliant one. Unravel my complexes and tell me, you know, how to quickly cure me before I have to meet my maker. I'm going to put that on there just in case you want to try it, and I'm putting that one on, and I've now fingered all your food,

and I'm very sorry about that. To see if I was right when I was writing about his poetry or if I got it completely wrong. Oh, did you do your dissertation on him? Yes. And Geoffrey Chaucer, of course. Why, of course, Chaucer? Because I love Chaucer. Really?

Yes. It's full of sex and rock and roll. Absolutely fantastic. So T.S. Eliot, Freud, Chaucer. Do I have to have anyone else? I don't know. Frankie Vaughan, God rest his soul. I love Frankie Vaughan.

You don't... Give me the moonlight. Come on everybody. He's a crooner, darling. Give me the girl and leave the rest to me. He was a crooner. He was probably on the stage quite a lot. Vanessa, you can now say you just sung at the Palladium, by the way. Thank you. Frankie Vaughan. Frankie Vaughan was in a film with Marilyn... Frankie Vaughan was a Jewish boy from Liverpool, right? His name was really Abelson. Yeah. And he changed it to Vaughan because his grandma said he was her number Vaughan boy. So that's why he changed it. Oh, you're kidding.

I'm not kidding. Oh. He had an enormous hit with Gimme the Moonlight. Alice, what? No, it's not your earrings. It's the iPad. I'm going to get some questions up from you lot and see if you've asked any. Hold on one sec.

Wow, OK. There's a lot about custard in here. Are you happy to answer a question on custard? Yes. Wow, they're all about custard. Oh, why is this? This is Big Brother, isn't it? Go on.

Not really, no. It's since Big Brother. Vanessa, what's the real story behind the infamous custard headline, The Gays Need to Know? Vanessa, what's the real story behind the infamous custard headline, the gays need to know? So this was after one of the numerous yo-yo darting episodes that have defined my life. You know, enormously fat, a bit slimmer, a bit lot slimmer, much fatter.

You know, that kind of thing. I've been doing that for years and years. Everybody knows there's some heavy irony, and heavy is the word, in my coming here to talk about food all evening with a gastric bypass. How does that work? Someone tell me how that works. Heavily ironic. So at least I've outed myself on that one. So I was either thinner or fatter or getting fatter as I always was. And it said, Vanessa, friends say she's back drinking the custard and So anyway Scott Mills from radio one

Invited me to a custard drinking challenge To see if it was really true, and I really was drinking the custard, but actually it turns out the color It's really hard to drink custard It's very thick and when you upend the glass like that it kind of globularly clings to the gun You're trying to you know, it's the kind of thing you could but you can't really so no I I'm not really a drinker of custard. No, that was it. That was an apocryphal That was an urban myth Are you sad you wish I was drinking the custard if you want me to say I did I will if it makes you feel better That's an excellent. I really will

How was Big Brother Big Brother the first Big Brother? God it was fucking hell man. How was Big Brother? Big Brother, the first Big Brother? God, it was fucking hell, man. It was ghastly. The first one was terrible, but you went back to more. I did, yeah, but the second time I got paid. The first time I didn't get paid. No way. No, the first time was for comic relief. No one got paid.

Oh, right, fair enough. No, it was ghastly, absolutely ghastly. Who was the best cook in the Big Brother house? Oh, I don't know. Did we cook in the Big Brother house? Yeah, someone did. Jack D, I think, was cooking. Oh, God. Jack D was kind of in charge and everyone fell in behind.

Is he as miserable as he comes? Yes. Oh, God. Miserable. The whole thing was really ghastly. And that's why I wrote on the table, Big Brother asked for the chalk back. I said, fuck off to Big Brother. Of course, which covered my children in terrible shame.

I still apologise. I'm terribly sorry. No, it was really horrible. It was absolutely ghastly. It was horrible. Why did you do it? I did it because it was for comic relief. Richard Curtis asked me. He's very persuasive. And you know Richard Curtis.

He's four weddings and a funeral. He's a veritable living saint. And you couldn't really say no, that's why. And also, I didn't know what it would be like. I thought, because we weren't being paid and because it was for comic relief and because nobody Had really understood at that point what a phenomenon reality TV was going to be because it was also new nobody really knew I sort of thought it would be kind of like the things where Lenny Henry's playing football in Rwanda or something

I thought it would be you know, Vanessa is buttering a piece of toast That's what I thought it would be and then then what it actually was, the very first day we went in, we'd been there about five minutes, and we had to nominate people to be evicted. And Anthea Turner was nominated, and she burst into tears. Get a grip. And suddenly you realise the whole country are watching, and you're the evil nominator, and it's the worst thing ever.

From that moment, it got really, you know, pretty hairy. Who nominated you? Well, Claire Sweeney nominated me. She thinks she's my friend now. She thinks I've forgiven her. If it weren't for her, I'd still be in the Big Brother house. It's only because of her that I'm here now. I'm furious. Livid. Livid.

Perhaps I'm not. I don't forgive. I don't forget. Who won that year? I don't know. Who did win? Who cares? Don't remember. Somebody anonymous has asked, what food did you dream of when you were in Big Brother? Oh, I think chocolate mousse. Everyone usually dreams of McDonald's for some reason.

Everyone's like, oh, my God, when I get out, I'm having a Big Mac, I'm having some nuggets. I think chocolate mousse, just vats of chocolate mousse in which to drown Aunt Thea Turner and Claire Sweeney. I think that was the thing. Now, this is from David. Which character in Chaucer's Tales would you be? You want to be in what?

The wife of Bath, of course. The wife of Bath, of course. Didn't you do Chaucer, darling? Not well enough, obviously. Anonymous says, who's the most boring person you've ever interviewed? Oh, gosh. This is tame.

There are many hot contenders for that title, the most boring person. Oh, my God. I don't know if you remember. There's no reason why you should, but I used to be the on-the-bed person on The Big Breakfast. Does anybody remember that? So every single day I was on the bed

with somebody who was meant to be a cosmic megastar. And some of them were absolutely excruciatingly boring. Andy McDowell. Beautiful but agonizingly dull. Humorous, dreary, and absolutely anemic in every way. But beautiful. Oh, what about Liza Minnelli's sister? Oh, hold on. Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ. Liza Minnelli's sister. Oh, my God. And I said something. I didn't know that it was polite to say, I've seen you and I know that you're singing some tune somewhere. That's excellent. But, of course, the whole point of her is she's Liza Minnelli's sister.

Everybody understands that. So quite quickly, I proceeded to, and Liza, she went mental. Absolutely. How dare you? I'm not just a sister. I thought, oh, mate. Yes, you are. You are.

You are just a sister. We know that. Come on. Okay. Come on. This is from Abby. And she says, Vanessa, if you had to choose, would you never do radio again or never have sex again? Oh my goodness.

I mean, honestly, Abby, you've embarrassed yourself. I want to know. It doesn't have to be either or. What about both simultaneously? Oh, okay. I think. There's a new format there. Something like that. That could be a good format. Right.

We have other questions to ask you. I've lost track. I'm thinking about Chaucer, wife of barf, having sex in a radio. Anyway, okay, right, done. Right. We know that your band can sing. Yes. Can you sing?

Well, what do you think? I gave it a whirl just earlier. Yeah, you did. Why do you want me to sing something? No, don't worry. We're not going to do that. Do you like karaoke? My Yiddish and Mama? Do you want that? Do you want your karaoke song? I like Share Believe. That's my karaoke song. Oh, that's a good karaoke song. That's a great song. Or sometimes Trailer for Sale or Rent.

What's that one? Trailer for sale or rent. Rules to let fifty cents. No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain't got no cigarettes. I got two hours of pushing brooms. Have I heard this one before? Eight by 12, four-bit room. My mom, man of means by no means. King of the road. Exactly.

Very nice. Thank you so much. We love a serious song. Oh, we love it. I can only apologise for that. That was not my fault. My friend said that she saw you at a garage brunch once. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And she, you know, Fats and Small, you know, Ben was DJing. She said it was the highlight seeing you behind the desk. Oh, that was nice. Well, I'm doing a bottomless. You know, the bottomless brunch. Oh, are you? Yes. I've done one.

I did one, and then suddenly it was COVID. But I'm doing another one. And what happens in this bottomless brunch? Absolutely magnificent. Everyone gets completely rat-arsed in the day. And then you go rocking out at about 5 o'clock in the evening. You can't remember your own name. You wouldn't recognize your own mother.

It's absolutely magnificent. And when you say you're doing it, you can be on the decks. Yes, on the decks. What's your opener? Bobby Brown. absolutely magnificent and when you say you're doing it you DJ X yes and Bobby Brown to play that amazing yeah now okay you've been on Instagram for like four months yes you've got 150,000 57,000 sorry I came on official with a blue tick come on get in. Yes.

I mean, how many people are following Vanessa in? Okay, so now you're about to add about a thousand more tonight. So how have you done that, Vanessa? Well, I scorned social media. I shunned the whole thing. And until the pandemic, I had an eight pound Nokia, a drug dealer phone. It was very useful. It's very useful.

Actually, I've got, what would you like? I've got street value. No way. Roedd gen i ffôn dros dro, Nokia, ffôn fudr. Roedd yn ddefnyddiol iawn. Roedd yn ddefnyddiol iawn. Yn gwirionedd, mae gen i... Beth ydych chi'n ei hoffi? Mae gen i... Rhyw fath o heroine wedi'i bwyllg, fel maen nhw'n ei ddweud. Heroine wedi'i bwyllg. Ond, na, roedd gen i ffôn o 8 pound ac fe wnaethon i ddynnu, a chynnydd, a chynnydd, a phob un o'r geiriau eraill, cymdeithas cymdeithasol a ffôn smart. Yr un peth rwy'n eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eithaf eith social media and smartphones. The only thing I quite fancied a smartphone for was to look at porn. Oh, do you like porn?

Well, I hadn't seen any since the 1970s. So I just remember confessions of. And when the guy comes to mend the carburettor, that bit. I really loved that bit. But I didn't have it. I didn't have a smartphone or a tablet, any of those things. So I'd never been online,

I'd never bought anything online, didn't have a bank account online. Actually, I still don't have any of those things. So I'd never been online, I'd never bought anything online, didn't have a bank account online. Actually, I still don't have any of those things. And are you looking at porn now? Well, this is the terrible disappointment of it all. So essentially, the pandemic happened, and my grandbabies were elsewhere, so I couldn't see them. They went off to Ireland, actually, to Nazan Island.

So I had to have a smartphone to be able to FaceTime and all of that. So having FaceTime a few times, I thought, right, the porn. Right? Yeah. So then I had to put glasses on to see it. It really put me off. I know. And it's a very, very small screen, isn't it?

I'm putting the glass. I'm holding it further and further and further away. And then I thought, where's the bit with the story, where the guy comes to mend something or that thing? That's Bridgerton. What happened to that? So I didn't just want to see a couple of really ugly people Where the guy comes to mend something or you know that thing that's Bridgerton Want to see a couple of really ugly people humping with my glasses on There's been a terrible disappointment You know you can mirror the screen so you could put it on your TV if you need to then consult you out with that

Don't worry. Yeah him I've seen So what we say about the phone oh, yes So what that meant was I had never, ever followed anyone on social media in my life. Right. And had no intention of ever doing so. And then I found that various jobs that I was doing, they said, well, you will tag us in. You will post. You will this, you will that.

And when I said, no, I'm not on it, instead of saying we admire and adore you, they were disgusted by that. So then I realized it wasn't funny and I better just hurry and do it, because I don't want to lose the money. I'm trying to feed my starving orphan children still. And grandchildren. And so I had to get on it. So I did. On January the 1st of this year, just before I was 60,

who knew that I would fall in love with the whole thing? It's fabulous. I love it. I know. I love it. I spend the whole time scrolling, and that's what I'm doing. That's what's hurting my wrist.

Not the other thing. I told you I'm not doing the other thing. I said I explained why I'm not doing the other thing. I'm just scrolling, scrolling. But I'm constantly checking my numbers of followers, you know, commenting. It's an obsession now. Obsessed, obsessed. But love doing it, absolutely love it. 157,437 since I got here.

And I'm really, really, in four months. It's not bad, is it? It's phenomenal it they said you quite a lot of stuff don't they yeah I love it when I get stuff it's the best thing and you have to tag some schmutter that you wouldn't wear in a million years because someone sent it to you but I don't mind some so please I love the parcels that he provides the best thing isn't it I mean this I bought myself and paid for, but if I could have got something sent, I would have got something sent.

It's absolutely brilliant, isn't it? I mean, skincare, long-comb mascara. It's just marvellous. Like Christmas, like Hanukkah every day of your life. Are you a TikToker? No, I don't. I can only code with Instagram. I couldn't do anything else.

But you do do, like, the reveals where you click and you'll jump and you'll change your outfit. We can jump. Yes, I can do that thing.. I couldn't do anything else. But you do do the reveals where you click and you'll jump and you'll change your outfit. We can jump. She jumps and her outfit changes. You jump and then you're wearing a different outfit and you jump back in the first outfit. I don't know if Ben does that.

I don't know how we do that. So has Ben become your social media manager? Well, we collaborate on it. He's good at the technical side of it. I mean, I choose my own music. I do my own stuff when he's not there. No, it's really impressive. I really do enjoy doing it. It's good at the technical side of it. I mean, I choose my own music. I do my own stuff when he's not there. No, it's really impressive. I really do enjoy doing it.

It's good fun. So, Vanessa, do you have good table manners? Oh, gosh, yes. No, I really do. My mum was really tough on that. What was she hard on? She was really big on, you know, keep your wings in. So you don't eat with your elbows out like that.

If you really, really liked it and she heard you going like this, you know, scraping up the last bit, she'd say, please leave the pattern on the plate. You would never, never to scrape ever under, even if it was absolutely delicious. And if you had a bowl of soup and you wanted to get the last bit of the soup, you must always, as you know, tip the bowl

away from you, never towards you. Yeah. Yes? Yeah, don't just always tip. If someone's got a salmon fridge roll, you must always take the one nearest to you from you never towards you yeah yes if someone could you have to go to salmon bridge roll you must always take the one nearest to you rather than the really lovely one that's just over they mustn't take that one always the one even it's a bit of a nebbish one you have to take one nearest to you what else you never talk with your mouth full obviously make polite conversation talk to the people on both sides of you even if you hate them you know loads of stuff like that now yeah under no circumstances no no no screens at the

table even for the grandchildren no that's particularly for the ground so they don't have screens my grandchildren they don't know they don't they're little they're eight six and three no I mean no really they don't they don't watch Spidey and Friends or it not on a screen on a little screen absolutely no really no oh no screens conversation no screams I do that miss Good, is this where Jessie's going now? Where's Miss Goodman? I don't know where Miss Goodman is. Where is Miss Goodman? Where are you? She's shy, maybe.

No, no screens. No screens. Jessie. No, I don't like... Okay, fine. You have that conversation with my son tomorrow. Anyway, so can you tell us of one of your most nostalgic tastes that can take you back to somewhere good or bad.

Yes, I can go right back to the 70s, and I can say, and actually it's quite sexy just to say it, Angel Delight. Oh, my God. What a... And then I've got to struggle to choose the flavour here. But that's why I'm struggling here, because you know what I'm choosing between.

Butterscotch. Butterscotch. Butterscotch. Butterscotch or strawberry. And neither tasted anything like the thing. The strawberry tasted nothing like a strawberry whatsoever, did it? Nothing like it. And the butterscotch tasted nothing whatsoever like what it's got. It only tasted like Angel Delight, didn't it?

But it smells like strawberry. But it was so great, right? Did anyone remember that? Angel Delight. Oh, my God. Heaven. Can you still get it? It's the best strawberry. Did anyone remember that? Angel Delight. Oh my god. Heaven. Can you still get it? It's the best thing. Everyone's talking about it now. It's really creative. It's the best thing. Quite a sea of conversation in the audience. Have you ever had it? Yeah, absolutely. It's marvellous, isn't it? No? I'm not a fan of it. Oh my god, I love it.

But I can see there's a lot, you know, there's the custard, there's the Angel of Delight. And the chocolate mousse. Chocolate mousse and the Ballymalu. Cheesecake and Ballymalu carrageen. This is your... Well, that's why I've got a gastric bypass, isn't it? Too much sugar, too many sweets, too many currywurst. No, but there's like... It's all bad. But it's a particular kind of consistency that you quite like.

Yes, that's right. The melt in the mouth, the kind of slide down the throat. Slightly. When I used to be a stand-up comic many years ago. I used to do a whole stick on is sperm kosher And I used to say because you know, they're sort of slightly tadpoli and Does that mean they're shellfish in which case they wouldn't be good and then I thought maybe that's why Jewish girls don't swallow That's what I was thinking. Anyway anyway they're teaching you this and you're not miss miss I'm gonna forgive me miss Goodman I didn't know you're gonna be

I'm so glad and I'm so glad that we have a previous and I say previous sponsor of the podcast Disney in the audience and Vanessa felt you have been an absolute treat. It's been a privilege. Thank you so much for having me. Honestly, please, please, big round of applause. No, seriously. Honestly, thank you so much. I knew you were going to be fantastic.

This has been such a treat. Thank you to your daughter, Allegra, for these beautiful jalapenos. If anybody is getting the chicken soup in the second half, I permit that you dip a little bit of that. We'll break the bread together and it will be gorgeous. Thank you for being here. Another round of applause for Vanessa Phelps, everyone.