Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S16 Ep 12: Laura Whitmore and Iain Stirling

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

Happy New Year!! We hope you’ve had a fabulous festive break, and now it’s time to dive in to 2024 as we deliver our first episode of the year! This week we welcome Laura Whitmore & Iain Stirling, who joined us for lunch at mum’s. Laura & Iain came to talk about food and also their brand new true crime podcast Murder They Wrote on BBC Sounds. We found out all about our shared loves (and it wasn’t true crime); mum & Iain both love haggis (yuk!), Laura & Iain would do anything for a dozen oysters covered in Tabasco sauce, Laura & I salute pineapple on a pizza, and we all also bonded over our adoration of friend of the show Kadiff Kirwan! Thanks Laura & Iain for being utterly delightful guests. Here’s to 2024 and an amazing year of podcasts to come! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm here in Clapham with Lenny. Ah Len, we want to wish you a happy new year. We're back for 2024. Who can we give you this year? Fabulous Christmas. Last year we gave you Cher, we gave you Pink last year. Basically some killer women. We've spoiled them. Last year, basically, some killer winnings. We've spoiled them. We've spoiled you, yeah.

And this year, we decided to start with a fabulous couple, a funny duo, potentially funnier than us, Mum. Definitely funnier than us. We have the wonderful Laura Whitmore and her husband, the funny guy, Ian Sterling. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do an accent. Ian Sterling.

And I'm on food duty. I want't do it. I can't do it. I can't do an accent. Ian Sterling. And I'm on food duty. I want to do a light lunch. I think people have eaten so much over the festive season. Yes. Well, so it's Melissa Clark on New York Times. You love her. Yep. Let's see if it works.

Exciting. It is Thai green curry salmon with coconut rice. And it's got loads of spring onions in it. It's got spinach in it. It's got coriander. And you kind of do it all in one pot. And it's been cooking for a long time. So I'm a bit confused. And then what you do, you place the salmon fillets on top.

And then it kind of like cooks it through. Yeah. So that's what we're having. And then to kind of have a bit of acidity and like freshness because it's quite a comforting bowl of like rice and salmon I've done cucumber and avocado salad which is with rice wine vinegar it's got soy in there it's got sesame seeds toasted sesame oil and it's just going to be kind of nice and fresh. I did open up my toasted sesame pot. Has that come out yet? That's gone.

Where did it go? It had maggots in it. That is not what we're serving Laura and Ian. It had maggots. Actual maggots. I opened it up and I was like, why is there fluff on my toasted black sesames? It's really disgusting.

And now I'm quite stressed that my whole of my larder has got moths in it. Pantry moths. Has anyone had it? Email us at hellotablemannerspodcast.com. Was that sealed properly? Well, obviously not, Mother. That's your problem. Okay.

So, yeah, we're having that. I'm doing dessert. Oh, yeah, sorry, you're doing dessert. And thank you for that. Yeah. We're doing frozen berries with hot white chocolate sauce. Did you bring the cream? Don't tell me.

I'm going to kill you. I think I did. No, you didn't. You're looking like you didn't. But I took it out for free. Well, where is it? Maybe I've... No, Jessie, go and check.

What? There was one thing you had to bring. Zora and Ian coming up. I've just been to Marks and Spencer, you fool. Jessica. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Lovely to see you. Thank you. Lovely to see you. Thanks for having us. Thank you for having us. It's funny being on this, isn't it? It's like when you go to New York and you see New York in the film. Oh, shut up. Thank you. Lovely to see you. Thanks for having us. Thank you for having us. This is nice. It's funny being on this, isn't it? It's like when you go to New York and you see New York in the film.

Oh, shut up. Exciting on a film set. I'm having dinner with those people that I listen to having dinner. Stop it. Oh my God, I love that. This is like walking through New York and I go, Spider-Man was there.

Spider-Man? And then when you were shouting off mic, beautifully, I was like, oh, I you were shouting off mic, beautifully, I was like, oh, I remember that. Oh, yeah, babe, listen. It's all going to go. Like, we do cook.

I love that Laura walks in, she's like, oh, you actually do the cooking. I thought there'd be someone in the background. Do you know, like, when you go on those cooking shows and there's always someone else cooking it and then bringing it in? Jessie, that's an idea.

What, like the food, the food, what are they called? Home ec or whatever, yeah, right. What do you call the food stylist? You know when they have a food stylist? Yeah, there's no food stylist here. It's going to look like shit, but we'll hope it tastes okay.

So you've schlepped all the way from North London. Yeah. How long did it take? We took about an hour and a half. Hour and a half. You had a lot of time to talk to each other. Do you know what? We needed to catch up, so it was quite nice.

Prep your last supper, I hope. Did you talk about any of that? We had a little thing. Well, actually, we were listening to... We were listening to your latest episode. We were listening to one of your... Which is Kadeef. Yeah, it's lovely.

Kadeef, our friend, our dear friend, Kadeef. We love Kadeef. I think everybody that meets Kadeef needs to also have him as their dear friend because I feel like he's my dear friend now and we're only one year into our relationship. I was quite jealous as well because I met him

through Aisling and I remember thinking I want him as my friend I'm like my friends You've been friends with him longer than You didn't introduce me to him How do you know Kadif? Kadif mocks me for this every single time Kadif has been in one

pilot that hasn't been commissioned in his entire incredibly successful career. And you wrote it. I was in it with him. So you're the problem. I, it was called... You had a word for engineer. Didn't you have a word for engineer?

My character was called Spunk. Oh God. I know. What was his character called? He, I can't remember. He was playing this, it was based in Scotland and he was playing like the quite exotic English boyfriend.

So the sort of Scottish girl had left the local town to go down to London to, I'm guessing do something like acting or one of those things that Scottish people, what are you, reading? Or whatever it is they were doing. And then she came back up with this incredibly handsome, literate, beautiful man played by a kiddie.

And it's still to this day the only pilot he's ever been in that wasn't commissioned for a full series. What part were you playing? Spunk. Spunk had a bowl cut, which I embraced and had, and kept for a few months after. Were you couple at this point? Oh, no.

Oh, right. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No. And my mother was sort of the loose lady of the town. And there'd been an alien landing, and she'd slept with the aliens. I think maybe this is why it didn't get commissioned. No.

Finding it hard to follow. And then I was basically half human, half alien. So I was a bit socially awkward, but I could lift up a car when no one was looking. And you were spunky. Fully spunk. So we are going to talk about food after that. I don't think I'd have commissioned it.

It was bloody brilliant. Was it? Kadif was probably the worst thing in it, actually. What, Kadif? Is it exhausting going out with a comedian, Laura? It's like full on. probably the worst thing in it actually. What a deal. Is it exhausting going out with a comedian Laura? It's like full on. No, it's lovely. Do you know what the hardest part was? What? Because you're going on tour

next year and you do a lot of little work in progress gigs constantly. So he's constantly, he'll pop out for 20 minutes at night time or he'll pop out for, well that's what he says, but he'll pop out to go to the local pub where there's like a little stand upup thing in the corner and test out new material so he's constantly doing you're talented too but you're brave so he doesn't test it out so he's kind of yes he has that but during lockdown that stopped so that's when i could see that there was

a little bit you went a little bit mad for a while yeah i need it i feel like um people always say like when you do comedy i don't have know if it's the same with music, but it was like, oh, were you the funniest person at school? And I was like, not really. I really liked it. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't like, oh, I am so funny. It would be a crime.

Were you the clown that made everyone laugh? No, I was sort of quite quiet, socially awkward kid, really. That's not how you come across. Yeah, I think I'm all right now. Let's talk about food for a second. Yes please. So I would like a childhood memory from both of you. He grew up in Scotland right? Oh yes. Can you imagine if you

did it and you just had that voice? There's a clue there. Yeah. But which bit? Because it's a rather Edinburgh Edinburgh yeah. You can tell the difference. Yes. It's not a lot of like east coasters kicking about no but it's very

it's musical lilting yeah loud is the word isn't that my voice does have that thing where it

it's great you can hear it when I lose him in the supermarket I can just hear his voice over everyone else's and mine's quite loud

as well has your daughter adopted more of a Scottish accent or an Irish accent or is she just London through and through it's like a mixture isn't it in words are very scottish going coming oh i like that yeah it's it's a mixture it's all kind of all over the place i quite like it now but we are going to probably raise a really like posh english right bravo yeah yeah i'd love that oh what my my so I would like a childhood memory who was around

the dinner table Ian you go first family but we had sort of very stereotypical Scottish like very small family due to like a number of reasons heart conditions the main one so like mum dad sister me yeah so very family warranty but very intimate yeah not as much of an extended family so we would be there and it would be a lot of like my mum's cooking was she good cook yeah she was great she's the sort of um i think it's a scottish pet thing maybe not an irish sort of thing a very scottish mum thing of like um oh no, it's nothing. But then my memory of dinner is like my mum was never sat. She was always buzzing around. I know how she feels.

Always buzzing around. Busy. So that was my sort of, yeah. Me, my dad and my sister are in this sort of like omnipresent being, which is my mother that's like putting things in front of people and making sure they're all right. So what was a really memorable dish that you loved of hers? She would do a lot of pasta stuff.

She would make mac and cheese and spaghetti bolognese, really hearty stuff like that. Shepherd's pie, that sort of thing. Where do you stand on haggis? Love it. Me too. Do you actually love it? Yeah.

Because people get put off by the... I had a Scottish boyfriend once. Congratulations. It's like meaty muesli, I thought. It's so nice. Because you think that's right. It's delicious. Have you tried the vegan one, though?

The vegan one's quite good. Oh, bloody hell, she's on the vegan again. I'm on the vegan haggis. The vegan haggis. It's really great, the vegan haggis. Oh, because you can't eat it now because you're vegetarian. Well, because I know what it is. As soon as I found out what it was, it just...

I know. I agree with you. Once you know what it is, you don't want to... Now, Laura, who was around your dinner table and what were you eating well one hand quite it was quite small and that was just me and my mom that grew up together so i just kind of grew up in this single parent household she just had a big birthday as well she had a big birthday like quite a day well i don't know how she feels about it's it's a big birthday but she doesn't really like to mention what big birthday it is. I'm there.

If she can't celebrate her 50th, then when can she? But the thing is, you need to tell her. It's really, you get really anxious about the big one. And then afterwards you think, actually, I'm bloody glad it's not the alternative. I'm still here. I'm still here. And actually, I always say, but isn't it better that people say you don't look that age? Do you know?

Rather than go, God, you look great. I'm celebrating. And actually, I always say, but isn't it better that people say, you don't look that age? Do you know? Rather than go, God, you look red. She looks fabulous. She looks fabulous. So it's just me and her, but actually, kind of the opposite to you. There's loads of us, so I think you always get overwhelmed. This was the first year,

first Christmas that we actually stayed in London, because we always go back to Ireland. I always go back to Ireland. I always go back to Ireland. You go, because there's no choice. Which bit of Ireland? So I'm from just outside Dublin, Bray, County Wicklow, and my mum's family are in Wexford.

So she's the youngest of 13. 13? Yeah. Jesus. Bloody hell. So there is Christmas dinner has always been a lot of people. And I think I may have about 80 cousins. I think.

How was that for the wedding invite then? Didn't you elope? Is that why you eloped? We eloped, baby. Your mum's got a lot in common with Dolly Parton because she's one of, is she 16, 13 years? Yeah, she said that her mum always had one in her and one on her.

But the table sounded enormous every time they sat down. It's massive. And also, I kind of wonder how they did it back then because it was a two bed house do you know what I mean wow you're like how did you how did

I never asked you how did they do that but then her oldest sister was 19 at the time so like some of them had left you know and then she said the older siblings

kind of looked after the younger ones and they lived on a farm a baby farm a baby farm pretty much so it was yeah so I'm just used to like a lot of family

or bumping into someone who's probably related to me I do a sort of pub quiz before I enter any Laura's family homes at Christmas time yeah because like names

who's in that room Ian you find it hard to remember my father's name like it's not he makes it it's so hard for me to remember all the cousins there's loads

but there is loads yeah but we don't see them all and they've also got Irish names which are all insane Christmas Christmas presents they are insane Christmas presents

what do you do Secret Santa yeah and I also feel I feel Christmas was about kids so I feel like the kids get the presents and

so what was your mum cooking for you I always remember when I grew up with just my mum we lived we lived where she still lives now in this little estate near the seafront in Bray, which is a lovely place, lovely part of the world.

And our next door neighbor had an apple tree, our next door neighbor Maureen, when she's still alive. And her apples used to fall into our garden. Mom used to pick them and peel them and make apple pie or apple crumble, anything they could stick apples into or apple stew. And we have an apple tree in our garden now remember when she came over yeah there's still stewed apple in our freezer remember she started because in case you there's so much stewed apple just frozen in the freezer it's yeah but I but I was just eating it with custard I just love it it feels it's real um comfort food so would you say that's your nostalgic taste as well yeah and even now with my little one like just to to me, and actually it's, it's hard to get an apple pie wrong.

It's well. What pastry do you use? We do the pastry underneath. We do the pastry underneath. Why would you do it with no pastry underneath? Well, you could just do it on top. Just do the crust on top. But then how would you lift up the slice?

That's a really good point. You wouldn't. And then it would just be a crumble With a little bit of pastry No we do it so it's all kind of And then mum sometimes would get Like a little bit of the pastry And make it into like If it's Christmas holly

Do you know like the three little things Or like do it in the shape of something And that's just kind of Someone's initials Is she a good pastry maker? Mum is a good Is a brilliant cook Oh amazing

But she makes everything She used to do this thing that my granny used to do. It's so bad for you. But I remember when we were younger, there'd be no goodies in the house. You know, you're like, I love a biscuit. I love something. Well, you did bring quality treats.

A tin of my leftovers from Christmas. Goodies are plenty. But you know, when you run out of it, my mom used to make this homemade fudge, which I now realize is pretty much a bag of sugar and cocoa and a bit of butter just in the pan. And then it would go rock hard on the plate and you need a knife to break it off.

Did you mind it like that? I loved it. I thought it was a goodie. Oh my God, it was lovely. When there's nothing else in the house, you'd always have sugar and cocoa and butter. So you'd make, I've tried to make it myself. It's not the same, but it's chewy.

That's a really Irish and Scottish thing where it's like distrustful of like the Cadbury's and the sweet industry because it's bad for you so they just boil up a bag of sugar but because you've made it yourself it's somehow When did you come to England then? I moved over here about

almost 15 years ago, I entered a competition to be the face of MTV And you bloody won! Yeah, I basically, I was studying journalism. I was working in a newsroom that was pretty hard. News is like not very nice. And I entered a competition just to kind of get a little bit of a contact to do a bit of work experience somewhere, not thinking I'd win this competition.

And then I won a year's contract about 15 years ago and moved here for a year. And then you kind of get stuck here. You get sucked in. And where did you first live in London? Camden. Did you like it? Loved it.

Oh, the buzz. And I was 23. Who cooks between you two? You're a really good cook. Yeah, I like cooking. I tell him what we're having and I buy the ingredients. Yeah.

Oh, so he's like, yeah. Project manager and I'm like the skivvy. I'm the project manager. So you're like the hello fresh person for him. I'm the hello fresh person for him and the hello fresh person

yeah so you buy all the ingredients the gusto whoever it is yeah the gusto guys look

oh my god it looks insane it's okay tell me what you think it looks mad also it looks and also this is like

a food stylist has been in here babes it's Thai curry coconut rice with salmon and then some some pickled pickled thingies on top.

Do you know what's lovely as well for this time of year too? It's just like warming. Yes, it is warming. And then mum is doing pudding. And look, I've got salt and pepper. It's stupid good. Is it? Oh my God, it's stupid good.

Well, babe, you're very sweet and I will not be offended if you want salt and pepper. But yes, it's easy kind of comfort food. So hold on, what is the sauce? It's just Thai green curry with coconut milk and spinach and spring onions, and you do it with sushi rice. It does have a kick, though. I love it.

Well, okay, is it too hot? No, no, I love it. Do you know when you take a bite, and then you stop for a minute, and you're like, ooh. It's like a cuddle. But then you steam the salmon on top. So you lay the salmon on top.

And this is a salad. Oh, this is beautiful. It's like a sesame salad that's supposed to go with it. It's got avocado as well, isn't it? It's got a little bit of avocado. Oh, my God. And just had some, please. Last supper, guys.

You know the drill. We ask everybody for a starter, a main, a pud and a drink of choice. Now, are you going to combine? Do you have similar taste buds? Like, how does this work? Well, I think starter, we probably will agree on. We 100% are going to share a starter. It's the best starter you can start any meal ever.

It's classy. It's shareable. It's nature's tapas. A dozen oysters. Dot oysters. Carlingford, please. We love, and a bit of, and then you can do that thing

where you just absolutely like riddle it full of Tabasco. It's swimming in, they come back to life. So you have a Tabasco. I like the vinaigrette. I'm more.

I like the vinaigrette. I think that's all you need. Maybe like a drop or two of Tabasco, but you don't want to ruin it. I don't like oysters. Why not? But why not? Oh, I need, no.

But you're such a... What about a prawn cocktail? Classy lady, you were about to say. But whenever I hear you on the podcast, you're always so informed with food and so cultured with it. And I always associate oysters with such a... With cultured people.

Yeah. It's like salty snot. It's like spunk, isn't it? It wouldn't be the thing I'd choose at all. I think I've eaten one once. You don't like them that much. We've all tried it once. I like them for about three or four,

and I feel fabulous. You don't have two yet, no. But I love that you're sharing that together. Main course, are we separating at this point? We'll do what we always do. We always pick two and share. But literally all, why would you, that seems... Are you a good sharer?

Yeah, I think we're pretty good. Yeah. So what would be the two dishes for the main? Can you guess what the other person's going to do? I know what you're going to do. Oh, this is like Mr. and Mrs. Yeah. What's her dish?

Well, there's two, because we'd be quite similar. We would probably both pick the same one. But then... But we're not going to waste us both getting the same dish. Okay. I know what you're going to pick. Do you actually? Go on.

Of course. What do you eat for, like, breakfast, dinner, lunch? Well, I'll have a pasta dish. Yeah, pasta. He just, like, lives off pasta. I love pasta very much. So what you eat for breakfast, dinner, lunch? Well, I have a pasta dish. Yeah, pasta. He just lives off pasta. I love pasta very much. So what would the pastas are going to be? If we're sharing.

Okay, Laura. Let's hear from you. Laura, you're being very sneaky. You're basically a politician. We're sharing pastas. Good. Okay. So what would he choose as his pasta?

Do I write it down somewhere? We wouldn't both get pasta because that's a waste of two dishes. I rank pastas. Good. Okay. So what would he choose as his pasta? What do I do? I write it down somewhere. We wouldn't both get pasta because that's a waste of two dishes. Okay. One would be pasta and one would be something else. Okay. So it would be a seafood linguine. Me too.

I love it. Seafood. Let's get everything in there. I like that. Let's get everything. Let's get the mussels, the clams. Now, can I ask something very controversial? Okay, go on.

Do you put parmesan on your seafood linguine? Me too. You're not supposed to. I know. What? You're not meant to. No. Do you put parmesan on your seafood linguine? Me too. You're not supposed to. What? You're not meant to. No. Are you not? And the Italians come like this.

Who says that? And they walk past you and say, What do they know about pasta? Excuse me, I want parmesan. They say, no, no, no, no. What? Pasta goes on everything. No, parmesan goes on everything.

Me too. I mean, pasta goes on everything too. I absolutely have to have it. Because people don't like cheese with fish but if you've been brought up on carbon cheese sauce I can see well it's funny it's a weird memory that my mum like I said would make like a spag bol and a macaron cheese when I went to Norway to study at university I never cooked in my life for a year to study why did you choose oh you were doing Norwegian no I done law but I just done a year

in Norway we basically um I didn't apply applied too late and because Norway's so expensive it was the only place that no one had picked but basically because beer is so expensive no shouldn't wanted to go there so me and my friend Robbie just got it as a last obviously I didn't do the form writing and had to like last minute do it did you enjoy it loved it but the first few months I was quite homesick and my mum gave me a recipe for macaroni and cheese and like even cheese there was like eight nine pounds like a bar did you have that fudgy cheese it was just yeah that sort of what do you have with your mac and cheese what did you do so I made this mac and cheese from scratch. I'd never cooked anything.

I'd done the milk and the flour at the start. And I was like blowing my, I made a really basic cheese sauce, but I couldn't believe I had done it. And I put this macaroni and cheese on my plate and I had an Italian sort of roommate and I got out my tomato ketchup that I always put on my macaroni and cheese.

Yeah. And she just walked past and she went, ugh. And I obviously had like three months of like homesickness. And I was like, how dare you? You had a fight over mac and cheese and tomato ketchup. Because I was just like, leave me alone to have this taste of home for once in my life. So I can just see that look from the Italians when you put your cheese on your seafood and green meat.

When you're putting your tomato ketchup on your Italian cheese. They don't often eat macaroni cheese. It's not a thing really, is it? It's American really. I'm with you with the tomato ketchup with macaroni cheese. I love it. I love it. My mum used to put whole tomatoes in.

Do you remember? They were very nice too. So you bake it with the whole tomato. So we're doing a seafood pasta. Now what's the other dish? Well, normally we'd be at an Italian. So what would we pick? But then we're quite controversial with this.

If it is what I think, what we were talking about earlier on. When you said, obviously pasta, I was thinking I was going to get the seafood linguine. But then we had, I'm like, why would we both get seafood linguine? Because we've got to go out and eat. No, but that's fine. But we can't do pizza because the topping situation is insane. It depends on where you go.

Why? What's your topping situation? Ask her what her free toppings are she has on a pizza. Go on. Dream pizza. We did this on our podcast recently, and I'm literally the opposite to Ian because I used to work in a pizzeria. Which one?

It was called Pizza and Cream in Bray. It's not there anymore. They've got shout out pizzas and cream. It's not there anymore. It was great. It was the best. Pizzas and cream. Sorry.

All right. Did you listen to 112 as well? We used to make our own homemade ice cream. But then you used to always be able to, if you kind of messed up an order, you got to bring home the pizza. So we always did the wrong order because then you get to bring it home. But my top three ingredients for a pizza,

pineapple, mushrooms, and sweet corn. And then they used to do this special ingredients for a pizza pineapple mushrooms Laura and sweet corn together and then they used to do this special dip sauce do Italians even

talk to you two no I think we're banned from Rome we're banned from Italy and it reminds me growing up like because

Pizza and Cream was like the biggest restaurant in my hometown when we were younger if I worked there when I was 16 it was my first waitressing job

if you were lucky you'd work there like Mystic Pizza it was like you were worked there when I was 16. It was my first waitressing job. If you were lucky, you'd work there. Yeah, like Mystic Pizza. It was like, you were basically Julia Roberts. I was basically Julia Roberts and all the hot guys

worked there. And they had pineapple on their pizza. I was the odd one out. I was the Julia Roberts. In Ireland. In Ireland, I know. A pineapple out of a tin,

then, do you know what I mean? Or an actual pineapple. I love a Hawaiian. I mean, you're not having the ham. I don't. I freaking love a Hawaiian. Are you anti not having the ham I freaking love a Hawaiian are you anti

pineapple pizza yeah great it's disgusting it's disgusting all my anchovies and mushroom and ham and it weeps

it weeps on you the pizza I mean they did fig at your local place once and I thought fig on oh I love fig

that's fine you're on a pizza it's like a gorgonzola oh beautiful talking my language okay so you're having hot christmas is yours and then what's your top all the meats everything i don't eat i probably have like i like the cheese you like yeah you like hot hot meat so do you like arabatiata yes i would have that would be my um meat hot a meat feast hot we're going to

when we put this episode out we're going to have people writing to us about your choices it's going to be like the complaints commission yeah

complaints also I'm joking parmesan, pineapple yeah it's weird that I'm just cleaning your hand for you thank you so much

but people get really angry about pizza toppings because we talked about it before I think eyes at the pineapple people get angry about the pineapple I think if I said the pineapple... People get up and live and let live. I think if someone got an order

for a half sweet corn, pineapple and mushroom, half all the meat, spicy pizza, they would contact the police at some sort of... It's our dream dinner. We can do what we want.

Mental person. I think it's even in the end. Cheese and pineapple. Do you remember? Yeah. Well, the party on the stick. With the hedgehog and the tinfoil. Yeah, but that dates back to the 70s.

That was sort of a status symbol, wasn't it, from the 70s? When people would be like, I've discovered these fruits that don't exist yet. That brings us on nicely to the new podcast. Oh, yes. Let's talk about it. Yeah. How did you come up With the idea Literally it's what

We used to sit and watch So it's a true crime podcast And we used to sit and watch Sort of true crime stuff And blether about it Like this And then someone came to us And said do you want to do it

Someone came to us I think I love podcasts I've always And I know you came on my podcast About podcasts Talking about podcasts You live breathe it But I just find it

A very safe Homely space And also With TV TV's very big there's a lot of people involved and i think with podcasts and you'll know this like you have a lot of control over it's your baby and you're also very protective over especially when you do it with a family member and i we were always like i don't know if we do something together is it going to put

strain on our relationship and it's you know and the day that that happens you're fine mum I made you I mean you made me and then I made you darling there you go mutually beneficial

so it's great I carried you yeah you literally carried her so you know yeah metaphorically there's a lot of making happen

so so we didn't want and I think couples podcasts were very popular so a lot of places were trying to like do something did that put you off

were you like yeah I did and people would be like oh you're a couple yeah do something we've got an idea for this podcast

do you want to do like who takes out the bins yeah so we just didn't want to do that because I suggested them all Laura vetoed

the whole thing I was like show me the money how have you found doing it like i've really enjoyed it because we had that and i don't know if you did this with your mom but we had this conversation where i was like the day that this puts a strain on our relationship is the day we stop the day that we have a fight that's not just on it goes outside the podcast and i think it was trying to find that authentic place that also felt just unique in a way well I think also you love true crime that's the thing I like eating yeah yeah and I like being

with my mum a lot yeah I'm like I like all of that so it's like really it is authentic yeah and it feels so separate to what you do on the radio or on stand-up or telly like it feels and so you're still interested in it right we have those like your background's law my background's journalism and people probably don't realize that because I do a lot of entertainment and that like oh you studied journalism and you do stand-up like oh you studied law and like actually these were our backgrounds we have a degree in this and it's yeah we can every now and then you come out with like an amazing fact about the legal system and I'm like what? And then you're like I know why I married this girl But you asked me earlier on

why I liked the first time I remember the first time I met Ian at those BAFTAs And I had the security tag still on my suit He had this massive security tag

from Topshop still on his suit They forgot they hadn't taken it off Gordon Ramsay refused to be pictured with you I'd gone into the Tesco Express with my mum

to pick my mum will hate me for saying this but to get us fags. It was back when me and my mum both still smoked. We don't, neither of us smoke now. That's for Alison Stiller and that's not for me. And they pulled me aside because I set off the alarm. And then they found the tag on the back of my jacket.

Oh, I love you. But I was like getting in a car to go. So what can I do? Now tell me why Gordon Ramsay didn't want to have a photo. He's actually lovely and we've seen him loads of times he's loves he loves me because he said yes ian when i won but then obviously i went up and i was pretty drunk and then he was there with his family and he was with his family they went oh let's all go backstage now to get a photo and he sort of looked to me and

i think i'll just sit with my family but that's the first conversation i remember having with except for that tv show that we did years ago that we forgot about. We did a true reaction. True reaction, fake reaction. Yeah, there's actually this footage of us

on the same show that I kind of forgot happened. We're not happy about it. No, it's fine. I loved it. We were on a panel show. You know when you're

on a panel show, I was on one panel. Hold on, opposite teams. This was before you got together. I was still doing kids TV,

I couldn't believe my luck. Did you see what Ian looked like? He looks like a But did you see what he looked like, kids TV? He looks like a different person. Not that he looked bad. He just looks, like I didn't know that was him.

Okay, fine. So you were both, and you were like, oh my God, it's Laura Whitmore. Oh my God, Vini. Well, if I'm being completely honest, I'm like, oh my God, it's Harry from McFly.

And then after that, I was like, oh my God, it's Laura Whitmore. Because I was doing kids TV, so this was ITV too. So I was like, I'm with the grownups now. Joe Sw Laura Whitmore. Because I was doing kids' TV, so this was ITV2, so I was like, I'm with the grown-ups now. Joe Swash is here, finally, I've matured.

That's what, in my head, I was thinking. I was like, fuck you, Dick and Dom. I'm going to hang out with Matt Edmondson from Radio 1. Oh my God, I love this. So that's where my head space was. Whereas you were probably thinking, another ITV thing to bloody do. I used to host the backstage show in the jungle

and we were still on Australian time. You know, you travel a lot. And I remember coming back going, I could be anywhere right now. I don't know what time it is. I had thought about nothing else. Anyone could have been on that show and I wouldn't remember.

I had been thinking about nothing else for about two weeks. I was like, oh my God. My time. Ellie Taylor's a team captain? But then, so years later at the BAFTAs, I see him and I'm like, oh my God. My time. Ellie Taylor's a team captain? But then, so years later at the BAFTAs, I see him. And I'm like, oh, congratulations on your award. And I think your response was, oh.

And I went, oh. My mom had been asked to leave. So drunk. But let's not get into that. I love your mom already. So I just remember thinking. She hadn't. She hadn't.

I just remember thinking, you seem lovely, but you, God, God he's like he's got a tag on him. A shopping tag not like a prisoner tag. He's stolen the suit to be here. He was a hot mess. Yeah I just I was like what is he saying? Is he what he's trying to say words to me? Anyway so we just kind of left it and you did DM me a little bit but I was just like... It's like a rom--com it's like the start of a rom-com but then i met him sober and then i realized where was that you were hosting a show and i remember thinking you were really smart so much taller than i realized on telly i was like oh he's really tall very smart um sober you've got this degree in law you know loads of things you're really smart and i'm like actually I didn't see this before it took me six years and the rest is history

and then you were like what type of dog do you have yeah what type of dog do you have that was his DM he's listening to my DMs what type of dog do you have sexy talk Jess and now I'm mum

who walks that dog you do thank you listen I'm looking after a child and juggling a career it's tough you walk the dog

I walk a dog we're up to mains we've done the pizza and the pasta an atrocity of a pizza it just kind of represents both of you very brilliantly and I like it

now pudding you sweet much no I'm not a sweet tooth person I've got a bit sweet tooth in the last couple of months haven't I yeah

but our wedding cake wasn't sweet no what was it cheese actually do you know what I'd have that as ours wheels of cheese

so many wheels of cheese love that I just love cheese so what was on your Christmas cheese board this year I like a soft cheese so do you know what I mean

what are we talking goat's cheese oh like a bit blend of brie oh like camembert baked oozing oh yeah do you know what I love I love a Wensleydale do Oh, like a bit blend of brie. Oh, like roast, like... Camembert baked. Oozing. Oh, yeah.

Do you know what I love? I love a Wensleydale, do you know, with a little bit of cranberry in it. I do too, especially at Crimbo's. Or what's the spicy one? Manchego? Manchego. Manchego. Manchego's not spicy. What's this sort of cheddar, the orangey cheddar, but it's got spice in it? It's probably grated cheese and you've put bloody Tabasco on it.

No, there's a spicy Red Leicester. Spicy Red Leicester. Oh, I know that one. It's got the little and you've put bloody Tabasco on it. No, it's spicy red Leicester. Spicy red Leicester. Oh, I know that one. It's got the little things in the veins. I love that you know that, but it's not a thing. Yeah, I don't know. What is it? It's not a real thing.

It's got a little bit of a kick to it. It's got, it's like a red cheddar. Let's have a Google. I also like a stinky cheese. Me too. Right, it's berries with white chocolate sauce. Beautiful. Oh my God.

Beautiful. I won't over face you. No, I love it. So, pudding wise, would you have a white chocolate sauce. Beautiful. Oh, my God. Beautiful. I won't over-face you. No, I love it. So, pudding-wise, would you have a cheeseburger? Red Devil. Right. Red Devil. It's called the Red Devil.

It's called the Red Devil. Because it has the stuff in the bag. Let me see. It's red lesser with chilli fruit. And then they wax it off. Oh, yeah. Okay. Was that on the cheese board?

It was so many ways. Red Devil was on our cheese board. You name a cheese, it was on the cheese board. And did you have, do you like a chutney with it, or do you just eat a purist? Or a grape. I'll just take a grape. I like a bit of apple. I'm just pure carb.

Stewed apple. We've got so much stewed apple in the freezer. I'm pure carb. I'm pure carb. Pure carb. Pure carb. Okay, so which cracker do you like? I don't know about, I don't even know... What crackers are there?

Controversial. Circle ones? I like a biscuit. Like a digestive biscuit. No, I don't like the thick, oaty ones. Oh, I like them. Or the oaty ones. I'm like, come on, we're going to do it.

Maybe that's my sweet with my savoury. I like sweet and savoury. That's my thing. I like that. I can see with the pineapple and the sweet corn on the pizza. I can see this. It's not right. So what's your drink of choice?

All of them. Fine. Are you going to go with an aperitif and what's your drink of choice? All of them. Fine. Are you going to go with a pair of teeth and then a change of the name? I'll have Guinness, definitely. Okay. With the oysters. Yeah, but from Ireland. Yeah. I find, I don't know how much time you spend with Irish people, but they sort of have this thing about their chocolate's better. It's

the same. Their tea's better. Our chocolate is better. It's the same. They think Cadbury's is better in Ireland. Have you heard this? No, I haven't heard this. Have you had a Golden Crisp or a Caramello? tea's better. Our chocolate is better. It's the same. They think Cadbury's is better in Ireland. Have you heard this? Have you had a Golden Crisper? Have you had a Golden Crisper or a Caramello? It's wild. You know it's better. It isn't. It's the same. You know it's better. It is the same. Good luck selling tickets

in Ireland, Ian, after that statement. But Guinness is much better in Ireland. Okay, do you not have one of the taps at home? We do. And does it hit the spot? Well, you have to... This is the thing. When we got the tap, we were like, this is great. But you know when you get a barrel, you have to use all 51 pints within three days.

No, I didn't know that. So you kind of only get it for special occasions. Otherwise, I mean, he likes Guinness, but 51 pints in three days. That's a small cake. A normal cake's about 64. Oh my God. Do you know what this is like? Like one of those M&S ads.

Oh my God. Well, we think mum should be the voice of M&S. You should be the voice of M&S. And it's the, it's the, oh yeah, it is. It's already, it's frozen.

Yeah. And then it melts into, you clever woman. That's easy. No, it's brilliant and not too easy. It's fabulous, mum, and I think that I will do it.

Also, do you know custard is my favourite food? It's white chocolate. It's white chocolate, but it's like custard. I think that I will do it. Also do you know custard is my favourite food? It is. It's like chocolate. It's like chocolate but it's like custard. It is like custard. But it looks like custard. I just like hot, melt, I love hot and cold. I love hot and cold together.

Mum, I'm kind of into this. Oh and then the frozen berries go sort of regular but it makes the chocolate sort of... We should do this, this is a great one. It's good because you can just have it in the freezer and then you're ready to go this is great did you make that how did you make that chocolate do you melt white chocolate or is it with the cream um in a bambouree mum no just straight in so how do you stop it from like going hard straight away because of the cream yeah i don't know just magical powers this is really good mum do you like it yeah it kind of hits the spot.

And like those cranberries or red currants never ever work in any other scenario apart from when you've got white chocolate. I think the chocolate could have been a bit hotter. No, it's perfect. I'm enjoying it. It's really nice. Nice one. So Guinness is going to be there. Laura, what about you, babes? Well, we became a little bit addicted during lockdown of a particular wine.

Yeah. Which one? Because they sold it in a corner shop for like seven quid. It was a rosé. It's the working man's whispering angel. Yeah. What's it called? Kylie.

Kylie. Oh, we know about Kylie. Kylie's sparkling rosé. And a screw top. So easy. And it's a screw top so you don't have to have a bottle of it. It was seven quid on offer. It was such good value.

She's so good at making wine such good value she's so good at making wine man she's so good at making wine so are you good cooks do you like cooking Ian is really good you don't

like the problem was I remember lockdown made us cook because up to then we didn't really cook we always ate out or you'd eat catering catering's always better

than home usually well what we used to cook I think I'll go back to now I feel like lockdown had all the time. Oh, we cooked so many meals. And then, you know, there's been that rush post-lockdown

with, like, the backlog of, like, things to film and do and children arriving and all that. And I feel that's all levelled out. She has a great meal. We cook well for her and then we forget to eat. This year is the year of the chef for me, I think. Really? I'm going to get it back on.

I used to love it. I love making it. Do you like barbecuing? Funny you say that. I once, and this is the most lockdown. Lockdown was obviously so difficult in so many ways. So awful. Once, I made a two-patty burger for myself,

and I fired up an entire coal barbecue. I get two patties. For two patties. It took me two hours, the whole thing. We had time to kill. Yeah. So are you doing any more acting scene babes?

A series is coming out later this year actually called Queenie on Channel 4. Oh my god you're in Queenie! I'm in two episodes of that. Which character are you? You know the book?

Yes. You know the opening scene? Yes. I'm the gynecologist. She plays Queenie's vagina. Oh my god! Congratulations! For me I love that book so I'm the gynecologist. I'm the gyne my God. Congratulations. For me, I love that book.

I'm a gynecologist. I'm a gynecologist. Any questions, ask me. So yeah, and then I filmed two films last year that will be out later this year as well. Babe, you're prolific. So it was, yeah, it was fun. It was nice.

It's definitely a challenge and it's different because it's slower than live television. And I do like the, I do like live. That's why I love podcasting. And I love that. But then live is so quick. You do it and it's that's why I love podcasting and I love that but then live is so quick you do it and it's done it's gone but what I love about what you Laura and it reminds me of how like we both do lots of different things and you can and we can and of course you do

too Ian like I do like it's it's a I'm a block so I'm allowed you said it baby um but no I I think it's so wonderful to see you doing so many different things like from but also if you get those opportunities you go with it

and they're not that far no exactly it's all storytelling in a way you know it's not like I'm actually a real gynecologist and I'm just you know go on show us what you got

but it's it all kind of fits in and there are things I wanted to do years ago I wanted to get into acting and I ended up going down the journalism route then I became the face of MTV it's all and it just kind of fits in. And there are things I wanted to do years ago. I wanted to get into acting and I ended up going down the journalism route then I became the face of MTV. It's all, and it just kind of,

you take the opportunity and you run with it. Theatre or film? So I did a run a year ago. You did 222? 222. And that was like eight shows a week. And it was like full on. West End?

Yeah, baby. West End. That was amazing. And it was lovely. It was a lovely thing to be part of. I really liked the play. I liked the character. I loved the cast. And it was the. It was a lovely thing to be part of. I really liked the play. I liked the character.

I loved the cast. And it was the first time I had routine in my life. I felt like I had a normal job. And also you just know what you're doing. So I was able to probably like organize meeting friends for lunch during the day or having a little one at home. It worked out well, actually, because I spend all day at home bar matinees days. And I was like, actually, it's the first time because sometimes with telly world, it's quite last minute. Things change. You don't get a call sheet sometimes till the night before for things. days and I was like actually it's the first time because sometimes with telly world it's quite last

minute things change you don't get a call sheet sometimes till the night before for things and you're trying to work out child care so it's the first time I had basically there's like sides involved or whatever and then you've got to like learn them depending on what's happening and stuff for that as well I just say that there's been a few auditions I've done recently even the one for Queenie and I am like who has to read with me? Incredible at reading in life. You're amazing. But you get really into the character too. Well, I've now learned that if you're reading someone's lines,

don't stand near the camera. Because even when I'm trying to be quiet, it'll be like, what do you mean? And it sounds like I'm screaming over her. And every cast and director is like, is that the voice of Love Island? Yeah, that's the problem. It's very hard to hide the voice have you met lots

of people from love island yeah well i used to go out there you don't do it out there anymore now not for the last few years and i'd always meet the so i'd always meet the finalists that's a shame because it's somewhere warm well it is but like yeah it's a free holiday but then the hours are mad like people forget how Your hours are crazy When you're in the voiceover I think it would be nice Obviously it would be nice To go out for like a week

But I used to go out For eight weeks And there was two a year So that's 16 weeks And you were out there Yeah but then we used to be You flew in and out And you just had your baby

Yeah but I did it before I had her So I remember we did The winter one But that was South Africa So I used to fly back and forth Jesus Because it was

That's what the job was But then my So I used to fly back and forth. Jesus. Because it was, that's what the job was. But then my hours were different to your hours. You were in production and so when people say, oh, you work together. I'm like, I never saw him.

That was the least we saw of each other. I know. That was 100% the least we saw of each other. That was when I had to ring up, when I had my child, I'd ring up my mother and go,

what are you doing for three months because I need help? Yeah. Well, we've all been there. Won a free holiday in Spain. Before we let you go, anywhere in London that you absolutely love, a local that you love to go to,

are you a big pub person? I love pubs so much. Yeah. Like, so... Do you? Love them. But like a dirty pub. Do whatever you want.

Drink at home. Really? Yeah. But we also have a pub at home, so, you know, it's... I can see a pub in a lovely Irish village being fabulous and you meet all the people you know. Yeah. But London pubs just don't do it for me. Because you're a Jewish princess, Mum.

It depends on what one. I just like going in somewhere, particularly when you go to London. I remember when I first moved to London and getting off a bus and saying, thank you, driver, because that's what you say. And he looked at me like I was going London and getting off a bus and saying, thank you, driver, because that's what you say. And he looked at me like I was going to shoot him. But you always say, thank you, driver.

So I like going in somewhere where the person, it's like cheers, so the person behind the bar knows your name. Do you know? Yeah, I get that, but not London pubs.

But that's why you have to find your little one. There's a few little ones. So you've got a nice pub. Yeah. It's got loads. He's got loads. I've got loads where they know my name and some of them are on Loudoun. But we've got that little one there's a few little ones so you've got a nice yeah it's got loads he's got loads I've got loads

where they know my name and some of them I'm allowed in but we've got that little one there's one in North Finchley called Two Lins

Two Lins do you love it yeah but it's like I play poker there every Monday night with the boys and girls but they're all like you're the

youngest by a lot I'm the youngest there by a good few years but that doesn't matter does it no and I love it they've got a lot

more experience on you and they like the football it's quite busy for the football but for like the guy it they've got a lot more experience on you and they like the football it's quite busy for the football but for like the Ghan stuff they do the Gaelic football

as well they do the hurling they do all the Irish sports mad busy rammed hot spot my dad loves it this is great

my dad loves it I love you two because you make the most out of everything I love it you like travel through the world and life

and career by the balls and you go let's go it's amazing. One life. It's wonderful to see you both. And I love that we've got two lenses show out.

Yeah, you've got to do that. Yeah, but you haven't asked about karaoke. Okay, let's do it then. Would you do a duet? Oh, we went away to the Maldives. Islands in the stream. We went to the Maldives and last summer which was lovely but when we got there

it was very quiet it was very couple-y it was all people on the honeymoon did you have your little person with you? no we didn't because we never had

a honeymoon so it was kind of like a late honeymoon that mother stepped up again I was like thank you and there was no really entertainment because it was very romantic

eat, go to bed like that's the kind of I was and they'd sit you on tables really far apart because you're meant to be in the romance and stuff and it's really intense and quite quiet I think the Maldives is a bit like that's the kind of thing they sit you like on tables really far apart because you're meant to be like in the romance and stuff we love really intense and quiet the maldives is a bit like that anyway right so and we're used to making friends when we go on holidays so they had a

karaoke night and when we got there there was six people and there was literally one person sitting on a seat singing like there was no vibe there was no vibe until we came Whitmore had to come in right there's a lovely Japanese couple and they sat adorably at each other you don't sit when you vibe there was no vibe until we came Whitmore and Stan had to come in right so there was these there was a lovely Japanese couple and they sat adorably at each other you don't sit

when you sing they'd been practicing they were they'd practiced and then when we sat down they'd done the English one that they clearly learn all the English to

but they were sitting in a corner and I was like stand up and get into the stage stand up sing out Louise did you not send me up first? No you went up first.

I did Teenage Dirtbag which is my karaoke song. But you're really good singing though. That's good. And then Ian did his karaoke song. No that's not my karaoke song. You know all the words. Alright which one is it? The Streets Fit But You Know It. I don't know that. I'm not trying to pull you even in front of

these other two couples who don't speak English and I don't really know it that well. You don't know that time. I think you are a bit fairly fit. You're fit. Oh my gosh, don't you know it. Oh my gosh. I think you're about eight or nine.

Maybe even nine and a half in four beers time. That blue top shop top on you've got is nice. And this is on your honeymoon. Love, love, love. Cool, I love this. Ian and Laura. Yes. Such a pleasure to have you over.

Oh, thank you for having us. You are the best dinner party guest I'm sure you're invited to dinner parties all the time because you're good crack

until we start singing I'm sorry about the very large berries it's okay they're too I mean they should be smaller it's okay that's good

because it means that now we can go we'll get the food stylist to cut them up next time thank you so much thank you good luck with the podcast

thank you maybe you'll get me into true crime because I'm I'm not into it to cut them up next time. Thank you so much. Thank you. Good luck with the podcast. Thank you. Maybe you'll get me into true crime because I'm not into it. There's a light hearted romp through true crime. Well, no, hold on. Because it is,

we have to be careful because it's true crime. There are real people's lives and we're very serious about it. But I just find you can watch any drama on telly, anything that you make up, nothing is as mad as real life.

And the stories that we do we're like how did that happen how did they get away with it or how are they that stupid and that's what fascinates me because people are fascinating Have you done one already? We've done a few yeah

Okay We always try and solve them like we always have one where there's some sort of like you need to get that thing at the end where like that person gets caught We didn't solve them Well I like to think I helped

Detective Lauren But you know sometimes you look end where you're like, that person gets caught. We didn't solve them. Well, I like to think I helped. No, they're not. Detective Lauren. Detective Lauren. But you know, sometimes you look, you're reading back old stories, you're like, how did the police, especially serial killers, how did they get away with it for so long? Okay, I'm driving home now and I'm just like, fine, we're in. Go for it. Thank you so much and hopefully see you again

this year. Yes, definitely. Happy New Year, everyone! We're just tucking into the quality streets that they've all. Thank you so much to Laura and Ian for coming round and being such a hoot. What a team. They were so sweet. Such a lovely couple.

Yeah, they were so sweet. So lovely. Really gorgeous. I want to be at the pub with them. Well, you will. Good crack as well. Murder, They Wrote is out now. It's on BBC Sounds.

And you can catch Ian on tour this year. You'll be able to see Laura flexing her skills as a gynecologist and I'm sure they'll be doing plenty more um thank you so much to Ian and Laura for coming over and being such fun and so wonderful and warm and fabulous and long may their podcast continue we'll see you next week. Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love.

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