Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S16 Ep 3: Ed Gamble

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Usually we ask what is on the menu, this week the question is what is ‘off' the menu! On one of the hottest days of the year, we adored having comedian, podcaster and all round mensch Ed Gamble round to mum's for lunch. Ed has mum’s absolute dream job (being a judge on Great British Menu) and he shared all the secrets from the filming, including how he once had to eat 8 desserts in one sitting! He told us how his favourite part of a meal is always the starter, the wonderful story of how he proposed to his wife (involving Godzilla!), his love of a Turkish kebab and his stint as an Ice Cream man to promote his new book. Apparently Ed gets tattoos to celebrate all the big moments in his life, time for a Table Manners tattoo Ed?! Ed’s new food memoir ‘Glutton’ is out now. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm here, Jessie Ware, sitting nursing a really unfair hangover and mum is here fanning herself because I haven't been able to help that much today. It's very odd. I've had the oven going since nine o'clock, darling. I'm really sorry and I thank you. It's not your fault that the oven was going but i think i chose wrongly the food why because i didn't realize it was going to be the probably the second hottest day of the year and having an oven on for five hours doesn't help the kitchen so tell the listeners what's on the menu well darling what's off the menu if you're pardon the expression very good yeah well first of all the guests on i think i don't think i've ever been more jealous

you yeah of anybody's what for the success of his brilliant podcast well besides that the fact that he's got as you would say in the profession such a good good gig. He's got a few good gigs. I know, but he's a judge on the Great British Menu, which is probably my all-time favourite cooking programme because it's all these amazing chefs and he gets to taste all their great food to prepare for a banquet. Yes, we have Ed Gamble from the Off Menu podcast, judge on Great British Menu, and he's coming here to talk

about his new book, Glutton, which is a food memoir. And we're very excited to finally meet Ed Gamble and to talk food. He's the nice one on the Great British Menu. He's the kindest judge. I wonder if he will be kind about your cooking and he loves food yeah his book Glutton I mean it goes the first pages about him being like the biggest greediest baby and it carried on I think the whole time so yeah he's kind of doing the right thing what's on the menu well it is a warm day and it's a late lunch so I didn't do a kind of big heavy meal I've done an onion tart and the crust is made with semolina and flour and butter that you heat up and then just pour it all in and let's hope it's nice and crispy because of the semolina. And then the onions, it's shallots really and some spring onions.

And I've made confit roast tomatoes and some creamy butter beans with a herby oil to go with it and just a green salad. It looks really delicious. And then I've made panna cotta, which is, I feel a bit guilty because it is very easy, but I do think it's delicious, with passion fruit and peaches. Would you recommend people that are doing dinner parties at the moment to make a panna cotta? I think panna cottas are fabulous and they're dead easy. I was always frightened of doing them because of gelatine, but it's so easy to use. Two and a half sheets of gelatine, soaked in cold and then you put it in it all melts and it's delicious

and I think I've got the quantity of gelatine just right because I always get a good wobble you do get a good wobble well let's see how it wobbles today Ed Gamble coming up on Table Manners well we're very excited to have ed gamble on our podcast our major competitor yes absolutely and you've been invited this felt like something from a gangster film where there's a summit set up and then i thought i was just going to be shot in the back of the head as soon as I arrived yeah yeah also Ed you have I don't think I've ever been as envious of anyone you have my dream job yes I think I know what that is yeah judge on the great British menu oh my god yeah I can't believe I'm doing that job to be honest do you I do I know how you got the gig because you're funny and you like food I went went and guest judged on an episode because they were doing it about innovation

I think was the theme and they wanted a comedian for that last episode and then they seemed to enjoy me on that and they were making a big change where they were getting rid of the old judges and shipping new people in so I was lucky to be there at that time but it is the dream job.

It is. it really is fabulous we're starting with an aperitif today fantastic only for great British menu people do we start with an aperitif but this is quite a poor man's version of the mountain have you been to mountain not been to mountain yet freaking amazing very excited to go they they have this amazing um you try is it Sicilian vermouth no anyway this is not the same it's Spanish I love this it's tasty but what they do

they do it with soda and they definitely do it better than this and they put one of those gorgeous olives in so yeah cheers Ed cheers

you try it darling it's not bad okay fine it's very nice I think it's medicinal it's kind of dry and nice kind of going to

sort my hangover out okay yeah it's a hangover cure. We'll call it that. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. Where have you come from today?

From East London, North East London, Walthamstow. Is that where you live? Yeah. What did you have for breakfast? I had two, I'm doing this awful thing at the moment where I get my meals delivered in the morning. Why? Oh, because I don't have any time to do proper cooking at the moment. Do just end up eating crap or i do cook when i have time but if i'm like if i'm gigging a

lot and doing loads of stuff yeah it's really hard so so who delivers your food it's like some fitness place it's really boring yeah good have you lost weight no no no i i keep it at a level where i don't lose any weight but it's just so I can eat sort of decent food and don't end up getting Deliveroo all the time. Is it like called fresh fitness food? It is, yeah, yeah. Oh, Pro Green was talking about it the other day. Right, okay.

And I was thinking actually I was going to do it for my rehearsals because otherwise you just end up eating it. I love Pro. It's nice food as well. It is good, but you do feel a bit pathetic picking up your meals from outside your house every day like you're in prison. So what did you have for breakfast from your little box it was like little egg uh you know like those

little egg pucks and my wife calls them like evil egg pucks what is an evil they look like hockey pucks they're like you know you they you if you made them you'd put them in like a muffin tin oh yeah bake them like baked egg bites sort of thing nice how many two two big ones are you hungry yeah i'm starving i mean i deliberately didn't eat the entire box because i was uh i was and that's hard for you as i gather from your yeah i'm just like constantly thinking about food so it's the greatest yeah do you think it's a blessing or a curse though i think i think it's a blessing because i consider it a passion and a hobby that i enjoy indulging and i see people who don't enjoy food and i just think they must have a completely empty life do you when you're when you're in bed at night do you think what you might have

the next day yeah of course me too try and plan out the whole menu in the head yeah yeah what I'm eating yeah absolutely yeah and if I'm going out to eat that's when I'm like excited the whole time so where have you eaten recently that you thought was fabulous do you go to any of the chefs that have been on the program yeah I try to I try to but then you know that because they're from all over the uk um if i'm touring i'll try and go to one of them but the best meal i've had this year is long gloom i'm so desperate to go it is amazing i'm going again for new year's oh my god are you performing no no no just night off. It's a long meal as well. It's like a four or five hour meal there.

Do you think it'll be fun as well? Yeah, it'll be so fun. Or is it all serious eating? No, no, no. It's quite relaxed. So, you know, everyone who works there is really good fun. And yeah, it's me and James Acaster and Nish and our partners are all going up to Long Plume for New Year's.

And you'll be laughing too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is your best course i mean are you someone who says i just live for the dessert i could start with that absolutely not me neither i'm a starter boy so on off menu we're diametrically opposed i'm a starter boy and james is a dessert boy love mains as well obviously but starters are what excite me the most i think yeah and do you like vegetable starters or fishy starters or? It doesn't matter. Bring it all. Absolutely bring it all.

Like, it depends what I'm having for main as well. So if I'm having a fishy main, I'll go for like steak tartare or something to start. Do you remember last Great British Menu? They did that thing with mushrooms and it looked like you were in the woodland. Yeah, there was a lot of that last series. That was so clever though. It was fantastic. did you get a bit sick of foraged well because mushrooms the last series was the first series where the starters

had to be plant-based and the majority of western chefs i think they hear it's got to be plant-based so they're going with the most meaty thing possible which is mushroom which is why um avi got who got through one because he's an indian chef is very used to cooking plant-based food so it was just an incredible dish so yeah you do have the best job in the world it is amazing and we start again next week i can't wait back to stratford-upon-avon now but is that where it's filmed yeah it's from the stratford-upon-avon in the center of england yeah oh is it at the place where they do MasterChef no it's in like an industrial estate in Stratford-upon-Avon John Tarod when he came on the podcast he said well no when I went on

MasterChef and was like a guest judge or guest taster because I definitely didn't I mean I just was really excited about everything but he said that he wouldn't eat all day if he knew he was filming yeah are you similar with that well it's I mean it's tricky to it'd be amazing if I managed to eat before because we start at like nine okay in the morning you're eating by that my first day I had breakfast before we started and they were like what are you doing you can't do that so we started like 9 9 30 and then get a dish every half an hour basically oh my god yeah it's a lot okay so like, a four or five hour tasting menu. You're like, I do the Great British menu, come on. I've done the training.

So finals week is the hardest because that's four days in a row and it's eight starters on one day, eight mains the next day, or eight fish the next day, eight mains the next day, and eight desserts. And that is the roughest day, is eight desserts in one day. No, that feels, and you're diabetic. Yeah, so that is normally. How do you balance it all out? Well, the dessert day is the trickiest one day that feels and you're diabetic yeah so that is normally how do you

balance it all now well the dessert day is the trickiest one i think they allow i mean what can you just bring your insulin i mean yeah i just inject when when i mean it's like i'm a proper like ninja diabetic in that situation most of the time absolutely fine like eating because you can eat like little bits of it i don't but um and you can sort of manage to balance it through the day but that dessert day is a wild ride i don't have a pump i've got a constant glucose monitor so i get my blood sugars on my phone yeah all the time but with the insulin it's just sort of it's years of experience just trying to work out how to how to manage it how old were you when you were 13 oh what a shitty thing to happen yeah it was but i mean I don't at the time I think I was a bit

blasé about the whole thing and also my mum was a nurse for many years so she spotted all the signs really early so a lot of people's diagnosis story is they end up in hospital with you know super high blood sugar but I didn't have that were you thirsty all the time yeah thirsty all the time lost weight yeah I did lose weight which was a surprise for me at that age yeah um that all went straight back on again as soon as I was diagnosed so the care I got was amazing like the from the NHS from the like youth diabetes center uh the hospital was incredible where were you brought up uh southwest London in Wimbledon Wimbledon yeah yeah so let's take it back to childhood you loved everything your mum talked about you being kind of you know a hungry baby yes bottomless pit yeah love it similar to me gobbled it all up absolutely what was a really

memorable dish from your childhood well we were a proper delia house my mum like real delia house or good housekeeping magazine so there's a lot of like still i'd say like probably vintage good housekeeping magazines in my mum's house amazing because they've got one recipe in them yeah that we just used to eat all of the time so there was one I think it was a good housekeeping one which was like chicken noodles and like coconut milk and we'd have that once or twice a week I'd say and did you love it oh absolutely loved it like three helpings every time always going back for more like let's spring onions and ginger and garlic. And who was around the dinner table?

Well, it's just me and my mum in the house, really. So, I mean, you know, she'd often have friends over and stuff. Or I'd go to my dad's for dinner. But at home, my main memories of food, me and my mum. Normally chicken noodles, roast chicken. Do you have brothers and sisters? I've got a half-brother and half-sister. So they're with my dad.

So I would see them, you know, every other weekend. I wonder whether that played a part in you being a good eater. Well, you came out being a good eater. But that idea of like your mum cooking meals for you both and it not being like peer pressure of other shitty eating habits from brothers and sisters. Yeah, I think so. And yeah, and then I was just just also she made a big pan of it

and I got to eat most of it so that probably that probably helped and she was a nurse yeah she was a nurse for many years uh and then for actually the majority of her career she was a health visitor so just sort of stomping around full and visiting babies really oh yeah the pretty good job are you close to her yeah very close yeah yeah yeah does she watch the great british she does she loves it it's one of the things that i do that she will watch regularly because podcasts she can't keep up with she don't i don't think she knows how to get them right still i've told her to be honest if i wasn't on one i wouldn't listen to i wouldn't know how to get one to be perfectly frank so you and your mom eating around the dinner table her cooking

these amazing meals dinner table it was normally on our knees in front of the telly really which I stand but I know people say it's nicer to eat around

the dinner table it's better for the family unit but it's exactly the same you have a great relationship with your mother yeah yeah yeah great relationship so what were you watching

oh well I was trying to remember the other day we'd watch the soaps definitely did you yeah big time you see Jessie was on Strictly I didn't know half the people on it because they're all the soaps definitely which did you? yeah big time you see Jesse was on

Strictly I didn't know half the people on it because they're all in soaps I'm very behind now are you good now still with your soaps? no I've fallen very behind I'll check back in at Christmas

okay so which ones were you watching? Corrie and EastEnders mainly oh wow the rivals yeah yeah yeah you don't discriminate in your house no god no

no no no I love that also Corrie was the funny one back then, and then EastEnders is the proper gritty one. Yeah. So you would eat, and you would then go to your dad's and kind of... Yeah, go to dad's on some weekends, yeah. Was he a good cook?

He's a brilliant cook, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Also, he uses cooking in the same way I use cooking, to be in the kitchen all day and not have to converse with anyone else. I do that. I can't believe that of you, because you're like a warm lovely person yeah but i i have to save that up uh and and then i run out of that eventually so if i'm if i'm having people around i like being

in the kitchen doing stuff and i'll be chatting to people but i like i like having something to focus on i'm totally with you and it's kind of quite, you really can escape. Yeah. Which is really wonderful. Totally. It sounds really naff, but like, it just is really, you focus on one thing. Oh, I'm the opposite. I want to be a guest at my own dinner party.

And I hate, and then I resent everyone. By the time they've come and I've cooked, I think, oh, fuck. When was your last dinner party that you hosted? Oh God, it was probably a while ago. It was probably a few months ago. We had James Acaster and his girlfriend over, and it was in the sort of winter months so i like doing proper slow cook stuff so i did like beef cheeks slow cook beef cheeks and polenta yeah fantastic that was that's right on my street yeah does she cook no not at all not at all and

she wouldn't mind me saying it she absolutely does not cook the whole idea of it makes her very nervous of messing something up what does she do for a job she works in tv she's a tv development producer so she just comes up with tv ideas and that's such a stressful job stressful job but she's very good at it but she's just not cooking is just never when we first got together she tried to cook for me once because she thought it would be something that she had to do. And then was so stressed the whole time. What was the dish? It was like a chicken curry. It was like a Jamaican chicken curry.

Did it work? It was edible. But there was some burning of onions. I mean, we've been together for so long now. I think that's that now. How did you meet? Sort of through comedy and TV. So she was working for a TV production company

and they were like coming to see comedians do gigs and we met. Where was your first date meal-wise? Meal-wise was... Did you choose it? No, it was sort of... I mean, we were both a lot younger, so I don't think we didn't know much about restaurants.

How long have you been together? Like 12 years. Okay. Yeah, 12 years, but married for two. We went to... to it's not there anymore but it's somewhere we used i used to go drinking a lot with people uh down on the south bank there was somewhere called studio six it was really it was really near where london studios used to be right just down on the south bank i mean it was fine we went and ate there and really just i think we had about two bottles of wine and then we were drinking that heavily for the first i'd say like six months of our relationship before she eventually

went i don't normally drink this much i've been doing it to try and keep up with you and i need to stop this i can't do it anymore but we went to studio six yeah it was a really fun evening stephen fry walked into the room at one point. That's quite memorable. Yeah. Maybe he's a good omen. Did you see what he ordered? No, didn't have a look at what Fry ordered. Too busy looking at the face of your future wife. Absolutely.

And that's what I thought at the time as well. It was really creepy. I thought, you're my future wife. Oh, did you? No, no. Oh. Oh. Well, where did I find that?

It took us like 11 years to get married. Was that because you weren't up for being married? No, I mean, I was always up for being married, but never, I just don't think we ever really thought about it until... How did you propose? I need to know all this information. We were in Japan. So I decided like quite early on in the year,

so like January that I wanted to propose. And then we went to Japan in October. So I was planning it all the time and uh getting the ring designed and made and stuff how did she get on um in japan with food oh she loves it she loves it yeah absolutely she loves she loves food she just doesn't cook yeah so yeah we got to japan and i brought the ring with me and i basically proposed to her day one so then it was like burning a hole in your pocket this ring is not my problem anymore yeah you have to look after this for the rest of the three-week trip.

And we're going back, actually, next year. We're going back and we're staying in the hotel that we stayed in when we first arrived in Tokyo after our proposal. We'll probably go to the same place. It is like the most basic. It's the one in Shinjuku that's got Godzilla on the top. So that's why I've got a Godzilla tattoo. Because I proposed on

that trip and we were staying in the godzilla uh let's talk about these tattoos how many tattoos do you have and i don't know now you got a godzilla tattoo yes to remember that you proposed did you need to get the godzilla inked on your arm to remember that well look i also think you love godzilla is really cool right let me see let me see but luckily oh it's very it's quite arty Godzilla yeah it's nice right

yeah it's nice also I'll tell you some more stuff about this tattoo and you'll realise it's actually really it's really nice and romantic

okay cool so this was done by two people Ian and Barbie who are our friends professional tattoo artists and artists in general Ian did the Godzilla

and then Barbie did all these flowers I like that yeah and these flowers were also on our wedding invitation because Barbie designed

our wedding invite you're a bloody romantic Ed Gamble in this tattoo and then the rest of them that's an eyeball thank you it's quite a terrifying

it's an eyeball with tendrils and the jaw so there's no there's no romance. What's that one about? I just wanted that. You just wanted that one?

I wanted that, so I got a man to do it on me. Did your wife suggest the other one? No, no, no, not at all. I came up with this idea, yeah. So, Kate, we really, it's like a real justification. Then what have we got? Oh, you've got a skeleton. Sort of Dance of Death skeleton, yeah.

Dance of Death, very cool. Yes. Cowboy skeleton. I love him. I really like him. Yeah, got a wolf there. Oh, God, yeah, I'm covered in him. I really like him. Yeah. Got a wolf there. Oh, God, yeah. I'm covered in him.

Right. Will you help add? Smells amazing, Mum. I hope so. Oh, Mum. Is it nice? That's a good pastry. Oh, it's pastry made with semolina.

It's really good. Is it? It's made with semolina and hot butter. Mum. Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was. Mum, it's better than any of your other pastries. It's better than your bloody poor Hollywood moment. Oh, my God.

That was the worst moment. Thank you so much for being here. Cheers. Thanks for having me. Cheers, darling. Cheers. Cheers. By the way, we didn't mention that Ed Gamble

bought Astro Bunny, a lovely pet nap. Thank you very much. Yeah, I love that stuff. Yeah, I had it lodged in my mind from listening to an episode that you also like it. Well, I like this. I still love it. Yeah, I love that stuff. Yeah, I had it lodged in my mind from listening to an episode that you also like it. Will I like this? Still love it.

It's perfect. Will I like it? It's like fizzy grapefruit juice. Is that wine? Is it wine? Is it? Yeah, it's just not the fucking like fortified stuff

that you feed everybody. Yeah. Exactly. This tart looks amazing. I hope it is. Tell me what you think. I like the semolina. It's got semolina in the pastry.

That's really tasty. Do you think some of those chefs are tip? Honestly, I think you could. Let's go for it. What is your last supper? Starter. I'm interested by this. Yeah.

Are we going to have a mezze? I mean, I do like a mezze. Who doesn't? Yeah, if I'm getting a delivery or something. I mean, Turkish food is our normal takeaway. Which is your place that you go to? So there's a place called Gokci Zoo in Walthamstow that's fantastic. There's a place called Goons as well, which is absolutely amazing.

What's your regular order? Well, we will get a selection of starters. Hot or cold meze? A bit of both. Great, love it. Okay, so meze, you'd go with that. What else do you order at your Turkish? So I'll, because I'm greedy, like when it comes to the kebab stuff,

I'll always get the one that that's like a selection of loads of different kebabs but it ends up costing so much bloody money like a huge foil tray of like three kilos of meat

the lamb shish the chicken shish sometimes the lamb is a bit tough on the shish can be it's rolling the dice really I think

it is I do think that you're safer with the mince the mince as well is really good yoghurt though. Yeah, yeah. The Adana.

The Adana's fantastic. Absolutely love it. And lamb ribs sometimes as well is like, I love lamb ribs. Yeah, can absolutely go through a whole rib cage. Fantastic stuff. And what sides would you do with that? They always bring the rice and the bulgur wheat. Yeah.

I prefer the bulgur wheat to the rice. I'm going like a pile of that bulgur wheat but then i'll have like all the chili and garlic sauce what about like do you ever get pat le jean sauce you know like the kind of um mixed veg it's oh yeah sort of like the tomato yeah yeah that's really really good really love that and i love the um is it suchuk as well the sausage yeah absolutely i love this yeah i like greek sausage as well okay The sausage? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely fantastic. I love this. Yeah, I like Greek sausage as well. Okay, but is this going to be your starter for today? I think the starter would be the mixed mezze.

So like some halloumi, the suchuk maybe. I mean like tarama salata as well. A bit of baba ghanoush. And like proper fresh breads as well, like off the grill. I think that's fine. Yeah, that's fantastic. Okay, that's your starter. What are you going to drink with it well do i have one drink for the whole thing whatever you want i feel like you're a greedy bastard so you should have one drink for

each one yeah i should do really shouldn't i and i like this it's exciting i mean you can't go wrong with a sort of martini to start a meal how do you take yours vodka or gin normally normally vodka but i do like a gin martini as well what's the difference well one's got gin and one's got i know that but just do you think it tastes do you think it tastes radically different i think gin has more more of a taste me too and there's so many different types of gin like you can get like floral ones or once it tastes a bit peppery and stuff like that whereas vodka i think really good vodka doesn't taste of anything yeah it's just neat spirit totally so for like a bit of rocket fuel a vodka martini is good just to really kick off her i'm we're going out for lunch for my dad's

70th tomorrow we're going to the ritz oh i've never eaten that it's fantastic is it it's so good i took my mum for her birthday but we're're having lunch at 12.45 and my dad suggested we meet in the bar at 11.45 for four months. Jesus. Are you going to do it? He's not cool. Yeah. It's going to be martinis, I think, to kick off with. I've been to the cocktail bar and I love that.

And I've had a dirty martini there and it was fab. I like a dirty martini. Something I've still never had, but a lot of our guests have talked about, is having a martini with an olive, but the olive is stuffed with blue cheese. In a martini? Yeah. You know where it does a really good one? Where?

Rita's. Oh, great. And they think they do it with the stuffed cheese. Ed, would you like some more tart? Yeah, I will do, actually, if that's all right. Well, I know that you like seconds. Yes. So it would have felt awkward if you hadn't have said yes.

Sometimes I'll deliberately take a smaller first portion of something I've made just so I can go back for seconds. It's just the act of going back. I do that too! Yeah, it just feels like a treat, doesn't it? Have you just been promoting so much the book? It's just starting the promotion, actually. Okay, that's good we did a day where um i went around in an ice cream van with copies of the book in proof copies of the book oh thank you how did that go down oh it was so much fun so we but we went to like some

newspaper offices and then visited some friends and dropped off the book and stuff so we went to josh widdicombe's house and ian sterling's house and few people like that. Amazing. But visiting the offices of the newspapers was very funny because there'd be like two people in there who knew what was happening so they'd come down, get an ice cream, get a book. But then obviously just word spread around the offices that there was just someone outside giving out free ice cream. So I basically worked a shift as an ice cream man. Such a big queue at the Independent.

I was loving it. I forgot to give the books out. You got a sweet tooth at the Independent then, was loving it. I forgot to give the books out. You got a sweet tooth at the Independent then. I did think, you know what, if comedy all falls apart, I could be an ice cream man. Master of your own domain. Is this your first book, Ed? Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did you decide to write it? Well, I mean, it's sort of a, it's a sneaky comedian's memoir. So a lot of comedians have done this where they're like, well, I want to talk about my life, But also my life hasn't necessarily been interesting enough Just to talk about that

Well if you didn't like it then You could have said Okay we have not finished the last supper Okay So We've got a starter Meze Martini Yes

Main Now I was going to say I can't just say another kebab based thing can i but there's just one there's one thing in edinburgh that's going on to a fruit kebab then if you've no no no no save that um there's one kebab shop in edinburgh that represents the entire edinburgh fringe to me like i can't go to edinburgh without having this kebab where is it it's on nicholson street it's called palmyra it's like this yellow frontage and comedians love it because it's open to like three in the morning right it's proper proper nice kebab but they put it in a big wrap i get the

mixed one obviously the chicken and the lamb a bit of salad bit of sauce but then they wrap it up and toast it in a big sort of panini toaster and then they wrap it up for you and i take it back to wherever i'm staying and it's just it weighs about three or four pounds I think it's so warm in there and just the mix of the sauces in there it's just amazing did you go to Edinburgh Fringe this yeah I went and did work in progress shows because I don't want to do the full month ever again because it's a hellhole um it's so stressful doing the full month yeah so I just went into two weeks stayed in the hotel i basically turned into the comedian that i used to hate when i went up to the

bridge as a student yeah absolutely stayed in a nice hotel did two weeks my shows were at noon i went to bed early every night oh my god that's brilliant yeah yeah yeah it was great so you didn't have to have really like acid reflux after the big kebab no because you're not sleeping straight on it exactly yeah. Love that for you. Yeah, I can have it for lunch if I want. What would you have for your drink for your main? Drink for the main, I mean, I'm a wine boy. I do like a lot of wine.

Big Riesling phase at the moment. Really? Yeah, huge Riesling phase. Why? Comedians like Riesling. Jamie Dimitri brought one over. Yeah, he knows his stuff. He seems to.

Why do you like Riesling? I just think, I mean, there's obviously a massive scale in terms of sweetness and dryness. Please say you like it dry. I like sweet Riesling in place of a dessert wine. Like a Berme de Venise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. And I've got, so I went through a bit of a mad phase of buying wine with the Wine Society

and storing it all in their warehouse. Where do you get your wine from now? A lot of it the wine society even pet nat no pet nat there's there's a shop near me uh that is a natural wine shop but literally around the corner when we moved in i was like i can't believe this is here because it's on it's on a road where like there's loads of like normal shops kebab shops like a firework shop that's open all year round and that um it's called gnarly vines it's a really great shop so i popped in there today yes but it wasn't spelled with a g it's pretty cool you should get a tattoo yeah i will do i mean at this point i don't care just get anything on there i didn't catch all the tattoo do they all have great meaning

no that one does and then all of the rest of them are just things i fancied when i was away so i get them when i travel a lot so the cowboy skeleton was in Melbourne I got that in Melbourne Ed can I ask you something yes did your mum cry

she wasn't happy yeah that's how I would be the first one I got she was not happy at all which one was the first one you got I got this one in New Zealand I thought you were going to show me

your bottom oh yeah they're on your legs too yeah it's that like magician sort of hands one. James Acaster did that one, the tally chart. What's the tally? Why have you got seven? Because that's how many days we lasted on Celebrity Hunted. And when we were on the run, we went to Ian and Barbie's tattoo shop

and he did it on me. Okay, so tell me about Celebrity Hunted. Don't do anything that you're going to get tattooed. Also, I'm not good at... You don't have to get tattooed. It's not part of the format. Tell me Celebrity Hunted So have you seen Hunted before?

No It's been on for years It's a Channel 4 show Where basically Members of the public They just go on the run And they have this Like

HQ Where the hunters are And they will like Hunt you down Wherever you go in the country I'd be so shit at it Because I'm lazy I'm not very clever

At finding Yeah I'd be shit where did you go in your and you lasted seven days that's incredible so we didn't plan it at all everyone else had planned it and planned where they were going to go you are like you are like fucking jason bourne well wait till you hear what we did first so we had to the first place we started was shrewsbury prison and we all ran out of shrewsbury prison how did you get out uh well they let you out okay otherwise it'd be a terrible show if they would just lock the doors.

Okay, see if you can escape. And we, everyone, like they got on trains. There were people on a motorbike. There were people getting in a car. And we walked into the town centre and went to a Michelin star restaurant. That is absolutely genius. We had a tasting menu straight away.

There's a shot of us sat there eating this tasting menu and you can hear a chopper outside. That was so much fun. That is brilliant. Okay, next day, was it like gastronomically? Yeah, well, they cut out a lot of stuff that we did because I think we travelled too much. I think other people were staying where they were for quite a while.

Did you stay in Shrewsbury? No, we went to Birmingham for a bit stayed in a comedy club how did you get there driving got a lift off the waitress this is this is wild but they're very good

at like not telling you what to do but like you have to facilitate it but there's a they're obviously like you guys have got to go did you have to give her money

no I don't think we did not even for petrol no I think the restaurant were very happy with did you get her an M&S service station should have got to go. Did you have to give her money? No, I don't think we did. Not even for perpetual? No, I think the restaurant were very happy with it. Did you get her an M&S service station? Should have done. No, because you don't have any cash. You don't have any cash.

You don't have phones. You've just got to be on the run. So you have to just use your charm and wit and now. Yes, which is why we didn't get to the end. Seven days? How long? Two weeks. It's people on that.

Oh, don't they need to wrap that shit up by that point? Okay, so where did you eat in Birmingham? Where did we eat in Birmingham? I don't think we that doing it for two weeks. Oh, don't they need to wrap that shit up by that point? Okay, so where did you eat in Birmingham? Where did we eat in Birmingham? I don't think we were in Birmingham for the night. Actually, we got amazing takeaway, very handily paid for

by the comedy club, from Tiger Bites Pig in Birmingham, which does amazing bows. Okay. That was great. Then we went to... You went to the comedy club.

You were really like leaving real massive breadcrumbs. Huge, huge clues. And at the club, we were like, there were old posters of ours up and we were like signing the posters to the hunters for when they saw it. It was a real buzz.

We ended up going to Marlow and staying in one of the Hand and Flowers rooms. No, stop. That's amazing. But that didn't make the edit. This sounds like a really romantic kind of week. It was lovely. It was a lovely getaway for me and James, yeah.

And Sam, who was filming all of it. And then eventually I'm like, I need a proper shower and I need to be at home. And I want to see my wife and my cat. So I basically went home after James got caught. And they caught me round the corner from my house and the hunters had to give me a lift back. Oh, wow, you left James? Yeah. No, James got caught.

Weren't you supposed to be together? Yeah, but we went to the taskmaster house to stay the night and then we prank called them from the taskmaster house I think we were just done with it so we prank called them, they traced the call turned up, we sprayed them with water pistols and then they caught James and I ran away

and lasted like six more hours or something it's really exciting, it does feel like you're in the Bourne Identity but with more Michelin star meals now from Michelin to this i that is so mean no i don't know what it is when i see a panna cotta i think come dine with me fuck off not a good panna cotta this looks amazing no look at the wobble on that mum is there a wobble yeah it's great beautiful look i've not tried chocolate fondant yet ever yeah it's panna cotta or chocolate fondant on master

chef you think that's delicious just don't do it right that's so good delicious nailed it i know why you think panna because panna cotta is very easy to make well i've never actually bothered to make it because the gelatine and all of that kind of feels like it's a bad idea. But people mess it up a lot, right? No. This is a good one. I think this is... Well, mine works always. Delish. Really good. So you're going for a Riesling?

Yeah, I think so. Like a dry Riesling. Okay. Any particular bottle? I really like Prum. Prum Riesling is very good. There's also a really nice Australian Riesling made by a guy called Mac Forbes, which is very, very delicious. But, you know, if I'm at a restaurant, I'll just look down the list and look for a word I recognise,

and I go, that one, please, and then check the price and panic. I tell you what I also really ended up drinking a lot of in Australia is Fernet Branca after meals. No, that's if you're ill. No, no, no. It's a digestif. It settles the stomach after a big meal.

Does it? It tastes like fries balsam. It's thick brown, isn't it? But they also, they do a mint one, a Fernet Branca menta.

Maybe I could do that. Yeah, but I think if you're tasting menu, if you're feeling a bit sick. Would you not have a cheese board? Yeah, I'd throw in a cheese board.

Yeah, do you like cheese? Yeah, I love throw in a cheese board. Do you like cheese? Yeah, I love cheese. Me too. So what's going to be on your cheese? You know what I quite like? I like starting with cheese. Yeah, that's good. Oh, Jessie, why?

But I can't stop when I start eating cheese. So if I start with cheese, like nothing else is getting eaten. So what's going to be on your board? A very, very mature cheddar for a start. Like the crystalline. Like the Cornish crystally one manchego for sure i'm a hard cheese guy really comte like a really like 24 month comte then

something blue like a probably a stilton or anything like that i don't know i like a really smelly i don't mind it like stinking bishop i quite like stinking bishop but it has to be in a separate yeah a separate dish nowhere near the other. I quite like stinking bishop, but it has to be in a separate dish, nowhere near the other cheeses. I quite like the oozy ones, like a couple of them. What do you have with your cheese? Quite often I just go straight cheese. No cracker, no apple? No cracker.

I like to have the crackers there as a suggestion. Just East Harcourt. But I will go straight cheese, yeah. Bit of quince maybe, but I'm not really bothered with that. Membrane, yeah. I just love the cheese, yeah. so how did you and James meet we met on on the comedy circuit really like as little baby comedians just you always end up like it's a brilliant thing because it's so sociable you end up seeing people at the gigs all the time I find it so brave that you put yourself

out there to I'd say it's brave the first three times you do it and then ego kicks in and uh and yeah and then if you're gigging a lot it doesn't matter you learn to just go out and do it and if it goes well fine if it doesn't go well fine but what did you do at university philosophy oh so that could work as yeah to prepare for comedy i think it's one of the only courses that feels like it does lead to writing something like comedy because you're formulating your own arguments and yeah but i mean useless degree otherwise oh no degree's useless if you use it was the way i did it okay absolutely pointless what was durham like is it very fancy pants i was at one of the colleges that has a reputation

for being the poshest but I sort of lived outside of the college but there's one well I mean some of the accommodations in the castle like there's there's a college that's in the castle not Barnard Castle no not Barnard Castle I have done a gig in Barnard Castle did you and how was your eyesight for that yeah absolutely how did you get there yeah I died on my ass actually at that gig so thanks for bringing that up is it really scary when you stand up there and you look out and you think how many people are here well people are there they bought tickets to see you it's not like a festival where they don't know what they're getting yes yeah so they you know that they like you yeah

that's the nice thing about the position i'm in now that i can go and i know that people are at least semi on board. But why did you die on your arse that night? That was a preview, that was years ago. And that's what, like, because you just did your work in progress. In Edinburgh, yeah, work in progress. So that's you trying things out, right? Yes.

And do you tell people to not film? Yeah, they don't really, it's fairly respectful, my audience, most of the time. So do you say it's called a work in progress? Yeah, bill it as a work in progress. Tickets are way cheaper than they would be on a normal tour show i tell them they're all cheap for coming let's talk about the book yeah how are you feeling about it coming out it's your first book i feel very weird about it coming out so why are you feeling funny just because you do you feel like you work quite hard on something and then your soul i don't i probably bared my

soul more than i normally do in comedy and the the thing is, with standing on a stage and doing stuff, you can be like, well, I'll finish this, and then I can get in the car and go. And there's no existing record of it. Whereas this will be everywhere forever. Not everywhere. Has your mum read it? No, she hasn't read it yet.

She will read it. Are you nice about her in it? Very nice about my mum, yeah. You're nice about your dad as well? Mainly, take the piss out of my dad quite a lot in it. Will he mind? I don't think so. You have a good relationship with him?

Yeah, I don't think I'll mind. He's taking him to the Ritz tomorrow. Yeah. I'll take him a copy of the book as well. So the book comes out, when does the book come out? The book comes out on October 26th. How are you going to celebrate? Where are you going to eat at your celebratory dinner?

Where's the launch? I don't know where the launch is, actually. Are you doing a launch? Bloody hell. Well, we've already been round in a bloody ice cream van all day, you know. How many ice creams did you have that day? I saved myself right till the end and then made like a massive mega one. And did you have a flake? Of course I had a flake.

And some. Yeah, for God's sake. Do you know, do they still do oysters? Yeah, there was always... Oh, I love an oyster with a bit of marshmallow in it as well oh my god we had all the stuff in the back of that van yeah no i waited right until the to the end and had an ice cream at the right at the end it was great um where am i gonna eat i mean actually the night before it's published i am going out with nish kumar to kitchen table do you know kitchen table

no is this the one that's very small it's bigger now so it was it used to be like seats or something like that it's it's a like kitchen sort of like a chef's seating area yeah um but it used to be in the back of a restaurant called bubble dogs um which is like a champagne and hot dog restaurant but then that went and they took over bubble dogs essentially so there's like a bar at the front but then at the back there's you guys see there's more restaurants than you sit at the counter but it's the chef is james napper it's it's fantastic but i've been there before with my wife and it was it that is like five and a half hours that's a big that's you sit in the bar for a bit and get

snacks in the bar and then they bring you through to the and you and nish are going to do it so nish is a bit of a foodie yeah we should get nish on this i want to ask you about a really memorable taste that is pure nostalgia for you that can take you back transport you back somewhere happy or sad or a smell i mean it would have been that chicken noodle dish but i've already mentioned it so i'm definitely going to need to think of something else snack wise i tell you what really takes me back is when i was first diagnosed as diabetic like we had a lot of meetings with uh the nurse who's called theresa who's amazing and she they're quite basic with it in the nhs it's like one fits all policy and they're like if you're going to exercise you need to eat something sugary before

so um my mum went well you need to eat something sugary before exercise what do you want and i was like mars bar because i'm just greedy we bought these mini Mars bars and kept them in the fridge. Oh, delicious. And there is nothing nicer than a mini Mars bar from the fridge. Unfortunately, it was there for medical reasons, but I would keep going back and, like, popping another mini Mars bar in. But if you had too many, didn't it do things to your... Yeah, yeah, yeah, it wasn't ideal. I was very bad at controlling diabetes

for the first sort of ten years of being diabetic, I think. Did you ever end up in hospital? No, just I always did the bare minimum to get through but now I'm way better at it like once I realized it is like having an extra full-time job um like now it's just and was it genetic no I mean I think there was like my grandpa's cousin was type 1 diabetic but that's the only one we could we could back to. But there's no other diabetics in my family. I'm the special one. Very special. I mean, how long have you had your patch for?

A couple of years. Because they're quite relatively... Ooh, Haim, you know the Haim. Yeah, Estee Haim. She has one. Yeah, yeah, she's got one. And James Norton's got one. Yes.

Yeah, me and James were hanging out at a diabetic event recently. Oh, diabetic event. It's a real scene, guys. Sorry you can't join me and James were hanging out at a diabetic event recently. Oh, diabetic event. It's a real scene, guys. Sorry you can't join in. What did you eat at the diabetic event? Nothing. No, me and James had to do like an onstage like Q&A thing, like chat about diabetes. But it was mainly people asking questions about Happy Valley.

Well, fair enough. It was amazing. Like someone was like asking questions about Happy Valley and a woman in the back went, I haven't seen the end of it yet. And then someone else gave a spoiler and it all kicked off. Oh my God. Guys, I'm here as well.

I'm diabetic. Have you tried the trick of dates, medjool dates and peanut butter? No. In the freezer? No. It's like a healthy Mars, Snickers. Nice.

So you could just do that and it may just like satisfy that memory. Jessie, it doesn't. It's like a healthy Mars Snickers. Nice. So you could just do that and it may just satisfy that memory. Jessie, it doesn't. It does. I think he'd like it. I might just get a Snickers though, to be fair. Yeah, fine, fair enough. Sod it.

Do what you like. Have you got good table manners, Ed? I mean, my elbows are on there right now. Everyone's elbows. It's a wonder we're all sitting up straight. It's quite a high counter, to be fair. Yeah, I think I have good table manners I mean at home with my wife

I don't know the phones are on the table that's bad though isn't it you don't go on your phone no but like phones are on the table I think that's quite well he was brought up watching Soaps mum you're saying that very judgy

with the fan as well I watch football here on my own. With your elbows on the table. With my elbows on the table. It's my favourite sport. I will now and again. The phone will be on the table. I'm not saying I check it, but it is there.

I check it and I get in trouble by my husband. Yeah. You were very good on holiday this year. Thank you. Do you like karaoke? I do like karaoke. What's your song? Well, I ruin karaoke for other people.

Why? Because I'm like an old school metal head. Oh. I got into metal when I was 13 and that was sort of like the new metal era. Oh, it goes with the taps. Well, there you go, yeah. And I really love metal. So like what would be your song?

Would you even know them? Well, it's whatever they have on karaoke. So what is their usual thing now? It's normally Limp Bizkit. They have a song called Break Stuff that I went to a friend's karaoke party recently in there's a karaoke room in the basement of bow in borough oh which is great if you want like a night doing karaoke and just ordering bow yeah you can just order it down to the karaoke karaoke though yeah i love it jesse i do it's if my birthday if you were here okay so i'll go'll go to Long Plume with you. You can go to Bower with Mum and do karaoke.

Okay, thank you. But I found Break Stuff on the karaoke machine and then put it on and there'd been some glitch where the lyrics weren't at the bottom, so it was just the video for Break Stuff. Still did it perfectly. Oh, yeah. And it would have been cool were it not a Limp Bizkit song.

And if anybody knew it. Yeah, no one knew it. Where does the name Limp Bizkit come from? I think it might be a reference to a rude thing. A flaccid willy? Maybe. Why? Why did I go there?

Limp? Yeah, I think so. Bizkit. What's the bizkit then? Well, I don't know. You just say it. I actually don't know what it is. Well, you should know.

What do you think it is? Support them. Come on, you're a big fan. Well, I thought it was a reference to Soggy Bizkit. What's a soggy bizkit? Oh God, I can't believe this is happening. This is the to soggy biscuit what's a soggy biscuit oh god I can't believe this is happening what is a soggy biscuit

I cannot believe this is happening what's a soggy biscuit I want to stress that I have not participated in soggy biscuit

okay tell us how has this happened to me so it's apparently a boarding school thing but did Fred Durst go to boarding school he didn't go to

boarding school but this is what I thought I boarding school. He didn't go to boarding school. But this is what I thought I always used to think it was a reference to. So tell me. Lenny, I can't believe I'm about to say this. I'm a social worker. I'm very broad minded. Okay, well, apparently

they all get in a circle around a biscuit. And pee on it. No, no. Ejaculate. On a biscuit? Why? Why? Why? It's a game.

Apparently they all start masturbating. Is it for aim? They all start masturbating. Shit, man. And the last one to come on the biscuit has to eat the biscuit. Oh, my God. I just feel faint. You're kidding me.

That's not in the book. Are you sure that reference is correct? I don't know. I'm like, am I kinking it? Oh my God, that's amazing. So it might be a reference to that. Oh, yeah. I'm so glad you asked the karaoke question.

Ed Gamble, thank you so much for educating us all. Thank you very much for having me. Cheers. We've both got our fans out of your party expression. I am made. Oh, Ed Gamble, what a nice bloke. Gorgeous.

Really, really lovely. Well, I'm glad he wore shorts and I could see the whole stories of his tattoos. Jesus, Mum, I thought you were going to say something else. Okay. I feel like his Last Supper was very much in keeping with the heat of the moment. Turkish, lots of Turkish. I'd really like to go out for dinner with of the moment. Turkish, lots of Turkish. I'd really like to go out for dinner with Ed Gamble. Yeah, I think it'd be fun.

Because I know that he'd probably order the whole menu. He's going to Long Clume for New Year's. I'm really jealous about that. How did he get that gig? He must have booked about 100 years ago. No, he's Ed Gamble. He probably can bloody just speed dial Simon Rogan and just say, yeah, I'm coming. Okay. and bloody just speed dial simon rogan and just say yeah i'm coming okay um thank you so much to ed for coming and eating with us um and bringing pet now astro bunny love you it it the hangover

has kind of gone up and down up and down up and down maybe i just need to have paracetamol and a cup of tea now i don't know um but it's been a pleasure glutton is out now. You can go and read it or listen to the audio book. He's on tour next year. He's going to be on the Great British Menu. He's touring with James Acaster for their Off Menu Live. Yeah, he's a busy bee.

And if he has time, Ed Gamble, please, can I go out for dinner with you and your lovely sounding wife who will let me finish her courses? That sounds right unless he fights me for them okay um and also sorry should we just can you email in to hello at table manners podcast.com to just confirm whether limp biscuit soggy oh my god is what

ed gamble thinks it is Or is he just disgusting? Thank you for listening and we will look forward to hearing your answers.