Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S16 Ep 31: Rob Rinder and Rylan

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

Fresh from Italy and their Grand Tour, we have Rob Rinder & Rylan round for a truly wild & fabulous dinner party. Rob had requested mum’s home made chopped herring and we also served up chicken soup, slow cooked lamb and a coffee ice cream cake for pud. Over an evening of barely any finished sentences, we learned that Rob is a walking pharmacy, we reminisced about Rylan’s X Factor days, we discovered Rob’s last supper grand tour would be at McDonalds for a Filet-O-Fish and we were also gifted with the story of Rylan falling face first into a Hake at the fishmonger. Rylan admits he’s secretly released music without anyone knowing - plus, I learn something new about Lennie’s past careers! We couldn’t have had a better evening if we tried, Rob & Rylan are a delight, thank you for coming round to join us! Rob & Rylan’s Grand Tour is on Sunday nights at 9pm on BBC Two and I LOVE IT. The whole series is available on BBC iPlayer now. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners, I'm Jessie Ware and we're trying to do the quickest intro ever because we have our two guests outside. And they're being kept on the doorstep, Jessie, and we're so excited to have them. And we have such a feast. I mean, we're going to be here till... it's going to be an all-nighter. Yeah, it's going to be an all-nighter. We have Rylan and Rob Rinder coming over to talk about their new television programme. Together. Which is on BBC Two. It's called The Grand Tour, Rob and Rylan, and it's so fabulous.

I would actually say this is podcast gold. We're both on the food duties today. Yeah. You've done maybe more than me. Definitely more than me. Possibly. Rob really wanted Jewish food. Yeah.

He wanted to try your chopped herring. I don't think I've ever tried your chopped herring. It's delicious. So you've made chopped herring, chicken soup. With matzo balls. And then I have made Alison Roman's slow roasted lamb. I started it last night. It is very easy.

You basically bung everything in a massive casserole thingy with a lid and leave it for 12 hours it's a lamb shoulder in the oven in the oven okay on low i woke up that would be all right with your oven because it's always i woke up at two in the morning to the smells of like roast roast lamb i suddenly got the fear that like i was going to burn the house down. And thank God I came down because the lid was skew-iff because the shoulder was, so I was like, thank God, because it would have all evaporated. I then dreamt about lamb. I couldn't get back to sleep till four.

So listen, guys, I don't suggest you do it overnight because it's quite stressful cooking overnight. It is the easiest dish. It smelled amazing. Sam woke up at five to the smell of a roast and he thought he was ready we were like dogs last night i'm sure because you wake up to meat and i was like i don't think that's a good thing really it smelled delicious but i have lost many hours of sleep uh thinking about it so i can't wait to try it and then i'm serving

that with a green goddess salad which is just herby salad um dressing with yogurt and mayo and dijon and just dill chives tarragon uh I've put some parsley in there it's delicious and then I'm gonna do we've made labner we've both made labners yeah and then with chargrilled courgettes pistachio pine nuts and some lemon zest the lavender probably needs to go on a little plate okay fine what have you made for pud well i've tried i've made a coffee ice cream cake which is layers of sponge fingers dipped in Kahlua and coffee then caramel ice cream and chocolate oh god that sounds very sickly it's not very sickly coffee so i won't sleep tonight either no you won't because you'll be up all night on coffee. And I'm going to drizzle it.

Have you got any cocoa? No, probably not. I'm going to have to drizzle it in caramel, which I've bought with me. I do have cocoa. Okay, well, I've bought caramel with me for a drizzle. I'm very excited about having these two. I see that they like drinking a bit of wine, so we've got a few on option. I feel like I've got a greek wine because

i felt with the lamb okay um we have we talked about our bread making course we went on a bread making course we had the loveliest morning i haven't made a loaf since i have to say but i do still have the delicious date butter and the green goddess dressing was inspired by darling grace and megan who did it my soda bread in the freezer. Did you eat at yours? I think it kind of went stale. I just, there was a lot of bread. We made four loaves, Mum.

But it was really good. It was at Leafs, and we had a really good time. Oh, it's such fun. I'd love to do another one, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'd love to. Curry next. Curry next. And then they serve whatever you've made,

they serve you with lovely wine and delicious things they've made. Rob Rinder and Rylan coming up on Table Manners. Cheers, L'chaim. Good thing. L'chaim to joy. Cheers, cheers. Or as we say in Italy, Vindi Vidi Vici. He speaks Latin.

Oh, Vindi Vidi Vici Latin you came, you saw and you conquered I know, usually more of the Vini in his character and the Vidi don't they say just salute? they do say salute, but Rob bought me a bear with that on and I can't turn it welcome

can I just say, no, thank you for having us I have been bullying our PR for years going, can you please get me on Table Manners? I met Jessie and Lenny at Hoopla and we're best friends. Are you going this year, darling? I'm not, because I'm in, where am I? I'm in Barcelona for someone's wedding. Oh, you're going to miss a big one.

God, is it a heterosexual wedding? No, gays. It's in stitches. Gays. Gay, right. And I've never been, but I've been told it's in cities gays yeah gay rights and I've never been but I've been told it's like the gay benedome

oh it's supposed to be oh yeah it's supposed to be fun with nice hotels no I've got I've got a villa

have you yeah I saw the hotels not us oh my god okay speaking of which your television show

is great. Yeah. I've watched two episodes. I've watched them. Because you can watch them now. They're available already. Yeah, they're available already. It's the new way, kids, apparently.

It is so wonderful. You two, I loved it. The Grand Tour, Byron, Walking Down... You and Drag, Rob. Pauline Fowler. Pauline Fowler. I feel like they could have adjusted the wig a little bit.

Who's responsible for that? What's the wee? I think I would have done it in a million years if he hadn't... Your legs are fabulous. Got a lovely set of pins. You've got beautiful legs. Walks like me nan. She's been dead six years.

I feel that's a sort of mixed compliment. Did you read? Oh, you look like Pauline Fallon, but boy, are your ankles nice. No, you looked fabulous. And I loved it. I think, you know, you looked very beautiful. It was very conchita. It was.

It was very good. But it was just, I loved seeing you two together. It was joyful. And I just, it's such, there's a tenderness. We do. So it's all this such, there's a tenderness. We do. So is all this faux, we're a couple business?

No, that's my fault. That's one. I wondered if it was a bit like, you know, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Well, are we a couple or not? No, it's, I find it funny because I adore him,

but we are like a married couple. We rar all the time and we don't have sex. So we are fully a married couple. We rar all the time and we don't have sex. So we are fully a married couple. Yeah. But we started out as mates. Where did you get to know each other? We don't know.

Like round, it was like stories. In, around. I remember the origin. We were under the same management. We were at the same things. It was one of them. And it was like, oh, you're right. Then this come along.

And I was like, oh, well, Rob seems nice. He's like a nice bloke. Everyone who said to me, oh, Rob's nice. He's not a prickke everyone who's said to me oh Rob's nice he's not a prick blah blah blah and then they lied and then

we literally done the show and you know when you go from a mate to an actual friend like he's one of my closest friends now

and there's two most amazing things about Rob one is he's like the kindest most genuine will kill for you. You know, if someone looks at you bad, he's that type of friend. Proper loyal.

Yes. And two, he's a walking fucking pharmacy. In his bag, his bag is like a small branch of boob. Is it? Are you a neurotic Jew? You want an antibiotic? He's got it. He's the most neurotic Jew you'll ever meet in your life.

Oh my God. Honestly. Oh my God, that's amazing. I'm similar. You are. I don't ask where they come from. I don't want to know. But I had a toothache in Italy and it was gone in two days.

Yeah. I love that. That's so true. I don't travel anywhere without, you know, prescription medication. That is really true. Now, that's, of course, you have to know, mate, what's it like, there's a Yiddish curse to somebody. May you know your doctor by his first name. Try to know mate what's it like there's a Yiddish curse to somebody may you know your doctor

by his first name but I did think it was really beautiful I didn't know what I was letting myself in for apart from that we didn't really

yeah we didn't we got asked to do the show and I was like oh what more people doing a travel log in Italy oh I have an original idea no in the early days I didn't know Ryan at all

from telly. Genuinely. Like, the night before we met. Did you never watch X Factor? Not at all. I haven't watched it. He didn't even know I was on it. And, like, I loved it such a year.

Sorry, I'm going to do a lot of this. You know, Jewish trigger warning, put your couple on and get ready. MSHM, I love saying that. Like, you know, true to God. I was at my really close friend's house and their daughter said oh riding from x-factor and then you know slightly grown up grown up enough to like I've not watched it first time around but seen it on tiktok or whatever and I

had no idea I'd only known him from his broadcasting radio and so on and so forth and what I was hoping when the idea was originally, let's say, being explored was that somebody who meets, that's the wrong word, who perhaps is the unhappy victim of the soft bigotry of low expectation. In other words, if you don't sound a certain way, you can't be clever. I've always thought about myself, despite it being a complete fake that I created when I was three and I sound like I was mugged by a mitford. I'm a thick person's version of what an intelligent person sounds like but the real people are those that say the most intelligent most piercingly true thing in the room and when it comes to art and culture that's what it was about and it's no overstatement it's no understatement to say that every time we stood in front of anything great or had any moment he did it every single time

and every time. You cried, you wept. I felt more in love with him all the time and this is the thing that really upsets me coming back to your question He will take a while to get it. Oh no, it's like non-adoredals Non-adoredals I call up. I just feel that there's something slightly

limited, you know, mildly socially tragic that when you have a platonic friendship the greatest greek form of love where there's real connection between you people want to plant sex on top of it instead you can fall in love with somebody's mind their spirit and how they have that limitless gift to make you laugh and this is the thing about friendship is not being there in the middle of the night the emergency services will do that for you it's you know that there's that special group of humans that you can call when something great happens and they'll celebrate with gosh they're happy for you that's what it's all about and that's the truest form of love well

that was what i thought was so beautiful about when you got up and did um the conducting i was shitting myself i could see You really were shitting yourself. Yeah. And you were just so thrilled for him. And you went, when you walked off, it was exactly what I say when I come off stage. I go, did I look like a dick? I understand.

And you were like, you look great. You were like, but did I look like a dick? And it was so sweet hearing you, Judge Rinder, Robert, who'd been explaining, you know, the Duomo, well, you hadn't explained the Duomo yet, but, you know. To them, they'd just be like, do I look like a dick? And you'd be like, no, you are amazing.

It was a real friendship. I was just so proud of him, though. Like, it sounds so silly, but, like, Rob knows this world. Like, he loves his Vivaldi. He loves his... I can't make sound of the words, and I don't know what they mean. But that's the whole point of the show. Like, it's like an educational show

without being like ABC you just take it all in it's like you're on the trip with us and seeing him do that, he was so nervous and I kept having to pull you every 10 minutes and going you are getting it in your head Rob is the sort of guy

instead of physically living something he will read about it he will know every minute detail but he won't do it. He will know exactly how to be a brain surgeon, but he won't go and do the brain surgery. That's what Rob is. Whereas I'm like, well, let's just do it. If you cut the wrong bit out, we'll stick it back in and we'll start again. But that was very true because you were the person

that encouraged him to try drag and you looked quite scared you looked uncomfortable but I always worry these shows have a degree of insincerity

or bullshit and I think part of the reason people have responded to it is because even when you prefix a statement by saying genuinely

you always need to be a little bit sceptical about that but nevertheless genuinely there is no way without this one I ever would have put on drag and I needed to know do you remember? He needs a reason

what's the reason? And I'm like well the reason is these people I've never been out on the street before like this because of how people talk about them or they don't feel comfortable and this was like the first time that they were going to go and do that. And I said, that's what it meant. And we spoke to one of the gorgeous makeup artists.

He was saying, you know, like Venice has become a museum, but we live here and we need to remind people that one, we live here. And two, we're this like queer collective that also are citizens of this place. And people don't necessarily agree with that but this is our place too. Jessie what are you doing? I'm serving soup. No we haven't.

We had three courses on. No we've got chopped herring. He's not going to eat chopped herring. He is though. You've got chopped herring. Let him Jessie put the soup back. Let him try. You don't need to eat chopped herring.

I can't eat herring. You're not eating it. I'm making you try it. I'm making you try it. I'm making you try it. You've got chopped herring? Let him, Jessie, put the soup back. Ryan, you don't need to eat chopped herring. I can't eat herring. You're not eating it. I made enough for you to take home. Because Jessie said you wanted chopped herring. Jessie, don't serve the soup yet. You can have soup and herring, it's fine, Mum.

Oh, no you can't. You are so actually driving me mad. So, have you got matzo there, Jessie? Oh, I love a matzah. I made chopped herring for you. You made chopped herring? And I've got a tupperware for you to take it home. Okay. This is my, okay. I know. Jessie, we need some plates, darling. If this was Desert Island Foods. See, I told you you said chopped herring to me. Can I try it? Yeah, keep going. Did you really? Yeah, of course I did.

Where did you get herring from? You can use real mops. See if you like it. Don't look. It's not your bag. I know. I'm bad, but I appreciate it. I like this like this.

Look. I've never had homemade chopped herring. I only bought one. This is nice, isn't it? Oh, my gosh. I haven't had a mop for years. You get two matzo balls Oh Just to be clear, that's not the only bit of the matzo we eat

Yeah Sorry Would you like two matzo balls? Two balls would be lovely Do you want some more herring? I mean Or do you want to take it home? If it's there, I'll have some

All right This is so fun Oh, I'm going to try a mozza. Wait, who made the soup? I made the soup. I have made something, but Lenny has made it. Oh my God, I haven't had this for ages. This reminds me of being young.

Did you use to... I remember when I was a young girl, I used to go round the Jewish bakery all the time. I love colour bread. Where was your baking this time? In Stepney. Mum, we're just having a chat. Sorry, I'm having a food orgasm. all the time. So I love colour bread. Where was your making this from? In Stepney. Oh right. Mum, mum,

we're just having a chat. Sorry, I'm having a food orgasm. No, good. Why the heaven? So Ryland, you don't like fish, do you?

Don't do fish. Why not? So when I was about 10, my brother pushed me in the fish counter on Sainsbury's. Before that, I used to eat fish

but then I fell on a hake. Oh, you fell on a hake? You ever seen a hake? oh stop it's actually true it's got more scaring teeth than mine and it was face to face with me and since that day I've never eaten a fish I can imagine you in Nobu

having a lovely time vegetable sushi for me Jess just try it you know what I like fish but I'm actually okay just try it. I know. You know what? I don't, I like fish but I'm actually, I'm okay to try it. Just try it. Just try it. She's made it with raw mack.

It's nice, actually it's really nice. It's really nice. Thank you. Will you take the rest home because I've brought a tub over there for you. I mean, are you sure? Yeah. This is very nice soup mum. So do you put your matzo in your soup?

I do that. I like it. Does it matzo in your in your soup I do that I like it does it need salt oh I'm going to do that and did you make so we call them canadals but do you I call them

I used to call them canadals and now I call them matzo balls that's a good soup mum oh and you've used a homemade stock as well yeah

you haven't like put a cube in it I always put a bit of which one no tell me tell me okay it's a lot

I think it's a lot of kind of okay no sorry it's Well, it's a lot. I think it's a lot of kind of... Okay, no. Sorry. It's a good chicken soup. So you used to go to a Jewish bakery in Stepney Green and get your challah. Oh, God.

I think it was Beaumont Bakery. Oh, there's a challah as well. I wonder if... There's that other one there. Do you need some challah? Do you want challah? I love challah. Every Friday at Big Rabbi,

we used to go and get challah down in Australia and they used to call me Rabbi Rylan. Jessie, where is the challah? Would you like a challah? I'd love a challah. Yes! This was not supposed to be a promotion of Jewish like... Let it be! This feels like what we would do years

ago when I was like crossing, not crossing, we were interrogating someone in order to get well difficult admissions out of them this is the sort of culinary equivalent of a honey trap I can't how am I supposed to talk when I'm having like food orgasms well sorry it's the herring isn't it yeah this is like if this were the night before my execution like this is what I would so we've got two of them well this leads us to the question that we are going to ask you.

Yeah. Your last supper. So, Rob, you already have given us your starter. Would you say these are your starters? I'd have schmaltz herring. Schmaltz herring. Yeah. What's the difference?

Herring and fat. Yeah. With a glass of... No, I'm sorry. I'm with Rylan on that. With a glass of really good scotch, single malt whiskey, Scottish. Yeah.

Perfect. I mean, we've got roll mops there, and you brought me a delicious bottle of them english would you like would you like a little shot of that no no you keep that don't know come on no no no because i'm i'm this is this is a lot now i'm okay we've got herring schmaltz are we talking about like the food that you would eat that evokes childhood that brings you joy no you're dying Rob what you eating

yeah but have you ever met anybody that could completely contain exactly what you're thinking

in one phrase that's what he does listen are either of you courting at the moment I love what's

courting mummy always calls it courting she said that to the journalist oh no they're not Colton. Well, you've been divorced a while.

Are you vending or whatever? Have you been divorced a while? Yeah, I got divorced in... I mean, it went through in 22, but we broke up in 21. So, yeah, it's been nearly... It's three years, this Eurovision. It's three years now. It's actually three years probably today.

Did it happen around the Eurovision? It happened two days before the first semi-final. Oh my God. What a shit. So actually, I'm not even joking. You don't know the story. But it's a big moment.

I think it might be today. Oh, babe. Yeah. Happy divorce-a-versary. Yeah, happy divorce-a-rand-a-versary. What was your question? See what I mean? Are you courting?

No, it was actually what's your last fucking meal? But we've gone, just moved on because we're not getting nothing out of you. I know

this is three weeks three fucking weeks 24 hours a day you're me these two now the truth

is coming out it was difficult it was hard I just like to think I don't know um herring would be my starter

yeah herring yeah schmaltz herring would be my starter yeah I've you know back to the herring herring yeah schmaltz herring gloss scotch yeah so we're gonna do like food that you

really love from childhood later yeah okay so what would it could be in your last song it doesn't I might

you're an overachiever you need everything to be perfect are you a perfectionist no no because I was no I am really

this is what's weird I'm the one who needs it all to be perfect he's like I'm not I'm not worried about it. And I'm like, let me finish it. I was going to choose a fillet of fish. Yes. Yes.

Every time. Every time. He's got a big platform here. I can see. I can take a seat over there. I'm not moaning. Okay, so. Can I just say, can you imagine if we put my mum and your mum together?

It would be the end of the world. What I was thinking, boys, is that Jessie and you have a lot in common because you both adore your mums. We do. Rob's mum texted me this morning. I know, she wanted to... She never texted me before. She was really moved.

It was like a message from the Queen. Saying it was such a good... To sound like how much she's... Don't start on the garden with me. I think they're trying to plot more, so I do marry you. Have your mums met each other yet? They haven't yet. They'd love it.

They would. Is that going to happen? Of course it will. Yeah, inevitably. Definitely will. I'm bang up for it. What's your last meal, Rob? Okay.

So I'm going to be really... Thanks for being the broadcaster. Thank you, love. I'm going to do herring as the main course, all fish. And then I'm going to have chicken soup, but I can't say who has made it because that will upset. I mean, that is like throwing a Molotov cocktail into a family saying who makes the best chicken soup,

but I know who she is and you know who you are. And I would then... If it's like last... I'd probably have a McDonald's fillet of fish. Is that wrong oh my god the despair I'm addicted

there's something evocative of childhood so you know my parents got divorced and my dad we'd like take it to McDonald's after Hebrew

yeah well he had no transferable skills like me and so like all the single dads back then it was like a treat in Southgate

oh I used to love a McDonald's yeah and fillet of fish because we were kosher so we couldn't have the meat then so I was currently do you not havegate. Oh, I used to love them at Donald's. Yeah, and fillet of fish because we were kosher so we couldn't have the meat then. Do you not have the meat in McDonald's?

No, it's not kosher but when I was 11 I was eating out of the house. But you eat meat now? Now I do, yeah. So you could have the fish? Yes, you could have the fish.

Fillet of fish. Yeah, and it was originally invented I think for Catholics. No, Catholics actually. They don't eat fish on Friday. And there's something

so, and my brother feels the same same we don't really share the same taste but that. So you've got just one brother? You've got one brother and lots of step brothers and half brothers and we all love each other. You do? Yeah we love one chap. They are? Yeah do you think that's how you know you're gay when you're young like when you watch The Sound of Music

and you see the Baroness von Schrader and you think at the end you totally should have married her. No, mine was getting excited over the underwear section in my mum's next directory. That's how I'm in. How old are you? Probably about eight and then I remember watching, weirdly enough because I work with Louis Theroux now, I remember

Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends. I remember that. And it was like a gay porn one. Troy Halston. Yeah, about this ranch and I remember it being on like a BBC2 late. Yeah, yeah. And, at this ranch. And I remember it being on a BBC2, and I put my little portable telly on, and I was like... Yeah. So I know.

Yours was Von Trapp's. Yours was Weird Weekends. Yeah, and also The Next Direct. Mine's a retrospective. It wasn't... It's just thinking about how fabulous she looked, and thinking, you know, when she said,

oh, Georg, haven't you heard of boarding school? I mean, she's so fabulous and yet he went with a dowdy one who couldn't dress and had a bad haircut yeah yeah have you got brothers and sisters I've got one brother um is he as adoring of your mum as you are um he we both have very different relationships with my mum but yeah is he straight he is straight he's married

he's 50 so he's 15 years older than me so my brother was like my dad growing up because I never grew up with my dad

so my brother was yeah always been more like my dad Rylan you've been with us a long time is it too long

no I feel like and now it's time to go no but you actually haven't changed at all. You're 35? I'm 35 now, yeah. How old were you when you did X Factor? I was 23 on X Factor. I turned 24 on X Factor.

Yeah, so it's 12 years. It's 13 years. 12 years this year. Do you keep in touch with Nick? Of course, yes. I still keep in touch with Nick, James, Jomaine, Lucy, Ella Henderson, the boys. I was so lucky. I don't know if it's like an us thing or just a luck thing, but our series, we all still get on.

My series of Celebrity Big Brother, we all still get on. Claire from Steps is like my sister. I don't know. I just meet people along the way, and I like keeping people in my life if they're the right people were you in Celebrity Big Brother you know I won it I swear

we've had this conversation I wasn't listening because I thought you presented it I did after winning it okay I didn't know sorry I'm sorry

I don't know I forget sorry sorry who did win it that year me he won it of course him

because you just have to meet him, don't you? So we've got a fillet of fish. No dessert. No dessert? And a bit of cheese. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love cheese, yeah. It's so nice.

Isn't that so joyful? It's like reading a perfect sentence in a book with somebody you really love and you feel properly seen. Totally. Has there not been any point where you were like you know what should we just have a snog no no we've seen it no we've seen each other

yeah we're way past it you know when you get to that point where which episode's that in guys keep watching

no like I've seen Rob naked Rob's seen me naked like it's just normal we're like we're that close of friends

it's not no that's fine but just a snog just normal we're like we're that close of friends it's not no that's fine but just a snog then just because they're in a no about Romesh and Rebecca

seeing each other naked I bet they're I bet they're slept together though this is this is actually a thing that my my mum said that's a thought

my mum did say you know before you we were texting and I was saying oh I'm watching it and I love it and she was just like

everyone's saying they're a couple and she said but you know they're not saying that about bloody Romesh and you know I've caught

I mean but do you feel like it is a little bit like that you know we're two gay guys yeah we're two divorce guys yeah

and we're two guys that clearly get on so well yeah this one don't help when we're in a vineyard in Florence. As he's slugging up to you. Putting a tweet up of us two. Like looking at each other in a vineyard going, I said yes.

Or whatever the fuck it was. So that started it. I've got family members messaging me going, oh, I'm so happy for you. You deserve happiness. And I'm like, Robert, what have you done? And then obviously we went to the BAFTAs together because the show was starting that night. Thanks, babe. And so, like, we're on the carpet,

and without Val, Rob will always do this to me in a photo. And, like, look up at me. No, but do you know what? No, also, Kev, also because you're so tough. I love Rob too much to ever risk it. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you've got a good relationship...

Why would I want to change it? Do you think you'd ever marry again, though? I think I Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you've got a good relationship Why would I want to change it? Do you think you'd ever marry again though? I think I'd marry again, yeah. If it was the right person and with a prenup. I've never remarried. I'd marry again with a prenup, 100% I like my independence. I just like the party.

But I wouldn't have a wedding like I had before. Where was your wedding, the first one? My wedding was at Braxton Park estate. So it was a big, lavish, expensive wedding. And when you reflect on it now, you don't... I don't speak to half the people there.

I wouldn't do it again. I wouldn't do that again. Do you know what? If I had another wedding, this time around, I'd either do something in London because it's like my hometown and I love London.

And actually, weirdly enough, this will be a new story. I've never actually said this, but two or three weeks ago I got an email saying we're looking forward to your booking in 2025. And I'm like, what? What's that? What the fuck's that?

And normally I just think, oh, it's just something really crazy. And I looked and I totally forgot about four years ago I booked Tower Bridge for my 10th wedding anniversary because it was my ex's favourite bridge, which is a really weird thing. And so I just remember like four or five years ago, I like booked, it was just so weird. And I was just like, oh, I forgot about this, like that.

So I just thought, why don't you meet him and push him in? No, I'd never do that you could do just say for old times no for a laugh no they said the past is the past but it was just

you know you have those little moments you'll know that and I'm sure you will know that you have those little moments where it's like something I don't like to use

the word trigger it's not a trigger but it's like did you watch Sex and the City yeah every city my best my favourite it's the Carrie moments watch sex in the city yeah yeah so it's it's it's the carry moments

where you're writing and you're you're you start hearing your voice in your brain it's like and just like that yeah i remembered it all again or and just like that i'd gone back five years and just like that i remembered the time that it's like you have these little moments where you go oh and that was like a little moment so you you're single at the minute? I'm single. I can't believe you booked it that far in advance. That's the perfectionist in you. Listen. Jessie's 10 years this year.

I'll take the rating back. You can have it. That sounds like a good one. Right, Ryland, your turn. My starter? Last supper. You're going on a desert island for six months. Oh, I'm on a desert island now. Yeah. Well, I don't like that whole thing about desert island.

I would have... I love a French onion soup. Oh, I do too. Loads of onion and loads of Gruyere. Really toasted, melted in. That is perfect for me. It's kind of sweet, isn't it? Yeah, so sweet.

I want it sweet. Sherry in it. Yeah, all the hits. Then for my main, I want typical East London pie mash with liquor. Pie mash with liquor? Yeah. I've never had it.

What? I know. If this wasn't your own kitchen, I'd throw something. Have you? Yeah yeah I love it I've never had it and jelly deals let me take that

for pie and mayo love it right we'll do pie and mayo so where's your best place Bethnal Green or Chris Street Market

oh I used to have a store on Chris Street Market do you know Stevie's Best Sellers I did do you remember Stevie's Best Sellers no

it was a long time ago I was a social worker and I did. Do you remember Stevie's bestsellers? No. It was a long time ago. I was a social worker. And I did, I sold sheets. More range. Wait, hang on, you sold what? More range on Chris Street. I sold sheets that I got from Philip Reichman. And I just.

Hang on, when was this? Hang on a second. Also, was it Reichman or Reichman? It must have been Reichman. It must have been 1978. You probably weren't born, darling. Oh, I weren't born. But my mum would have been down there.

Yeah, Chris Street Market. It was a nice little market. Lovely market, Chris Street Market. Because it was smaller than Roman Road. Yeah, the Roman was long. Chris Street Market's just like a square. Had a friend who lived in the East London. I'm trying to get the sort of grammar of this life of yours.

It was to make a bit of extra money. So during the week you were removing kids from problematic homes. While selling sheets. While selling sheets while selling sheets and sold sheets at the retail sheets on the side that's what it should have been called

sheets on the side but what's the famous one that was down Kelly's Kelly's yeah Kelly's down Bethnal Green Road as well

yeah so yeah that's a nice one and then what's the one in do you live in East London no no more no I live in Essex now Essex

yeah I live in Brentwood do you like Brentwood? I love it. Because I'm just, I grew up in London. So for me to just be on the outskirts and just be able to dip in, especially with the job I do, it's nice just to disappear and just have nothing around me. Jess, what's the name of the place that Michelle Keegan went to?

Oh, Michelle and Mark are literally up the road. No, Sheesh. Oh, Sheesh, yes, up the road. So Michelle and Mark have built their house about five minutes from home. It's actually like Sugar Hut, Sheesh. Sugar Hut's ten minutes that way. Sheesh is supposed to be really good. Sheesh is lovely food.

And there's one on Regent Street now. Oh. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, Dylan's opened one on Regent Street. And where do you go clubbing? He knows all the names. I don't go out.

I can't imagine you go out. Why? No, I don't really go out. I just don't get left alone. I'm 20 foot tall with the biggest teeth in Britain. Everyone fucking has their size. Oh, what a shame. I'm 20 foot tall with the biggest teeth in Britain. Everyone fucking has those. Oh, what a shame.

I know, but that's why when we were abroad... He's fine. No one's doing a fun run for him. Do you know what I mean? Well, they fucking should be. I want £2 a month. It's the ticket price. Do you know what I mean? I want £2 a month.

But that's... In America, it's not quite like that. No, it's not. People leave you alone. No, here it's... Like, by no means am I Madonna, but if she was walking down Oxford Street that side and I was walking down Oxford Street that side,

they'd all come over to me because they'll think, well, I can't go up to Madonna, but Ryland won't mind. And I don't mind, but sometimes you do. No, I don't think you do. I'm sorry, I have seen you. I'm polite with everyone. You're not just polite, sorry. I would take my jacket off, but the suit's down there.

I mean, here they are. Look, she's got the girls out. Shut up. Here we go. What have we got? We've got slow cooked lamb. Oh. That's been cooked overnight.

Oh, there's a lot of mint on that. Smell it, it smells gorgeous. It's got mint, it's got oregano, it's got, do you eat lamb? Of course, yeah. Okay, fine. So that's been slow cooked for like 12 hours. And then it's got fingerling. Oh.

It's got what? That sounds like something. Fingerling. That's a shame. It's got a lot of meat. It's got a lot of meat. It's got a lot of meat. It's got a lot of meat. It's got a lot. And then it's got fingering. Oh. It got what? That sounds like something.

That's a shame. At least someone's getting it. And then that's some labna with some chargrilled things. Oh, I forgot these. What's labna? You made labna. It's like a Middle Eastern aubergine with underneath. No, labna is. Oh, sorry, it's the cream underneath.

It's what it is. It's you put Greek yogurt in muslin. You drip all the way. Oh, so you get all the way sorry, it's the cream underneath. It's what it is. You put Greek yoghurt in muslin. You drip all the white. Oh, so you get all the white. It's like a cream cheese. But you put aubergine on top. That's very Ottolenghi. Courgette.

Oh, well, courgette. Oh, you put courgette on top. Yeah, hold on. Sorry. Oh, it's the aubergine. What are you doing here? Jess, where's the red wine? What's going on now?

The lamb's been fingered. The asparagus has been fingered. Sorry, I'm just shoving them on. Sorry. I shocked them. Did you grow them? No. Fucking grow them.

What, do you look like a farmer? You're busy doing albums, like, fucking growing asparagus. Those are the fingering potatoes. This is the most adventurous I've ever seen you be with food. Oh, the potatoes. Yeah, I'm not adventurous. I'm Mr. Beige, isn't I? You know what you made me eat? You might have seen it.

What? Tripe. Yes. Well, this is why I was slightly worried about the texture of this lamb. It's fine. It's fine. It's slow-fired lamb. No, this is lovely.

Tell me you're not a sucker. Not tripe. Not tripe. So we're starting off with French onion. French onion soup. Then you're going on to... Pie mash and liquor. Pie mash and liquor.

East End pie mash. Yeah. The liquor's made from, is it... Parsley sauce, but... Parsley sauce. I don't want to know. I don't know what you're going to say and I don't want to know. Okay, I'm not going to say it.

The eel juice. I don't want to know. Yeah, that I was going to ask that. I don't believe it. I would never eat it. I don't think it's real. Okay, you don't think so. Okay, fine.

Then, what are you drinking with that? With the pie mash. If I'm having the pie mash... Are you going to stick with the champagne? that? With the pie mash. If I'm having the pie mash. Are you going to stick with the champagne? No, with the pie mash. If I'm having the pie mash, I want that shitty orange juice they do. Oh, squash. You know, from being a kid.

Yeah. In that, in the polystyrene white cups. Oh, not the one that's in the milk bottle. The milk one. No, not that one. That's proper orange juice. Yeah, that's proper, yeah. But, no, it's like flat corn or orange they do in it in there.

And they just go like that. It's like two pen. Should, no, it's like flat corn or orange they do in it in there. And they just go... It's like two pence. Should I serve you? I don't know. Should you want to help yourself? Let him serve himself. Okay. I did a concern on your conversation.

I was like, no, let him do it. Just like, help yourself. I used to work on that if I'll ever get married again. No, this looks absolutely gorgeous. I'm getting a bit of juice out. Yeah, I'm worried that the juice isn't kind of got a zing enough. So try to have some of this. I would never serve that for you. Right, stop being rude, I'm worried that the juice isn't kind of got a zing enough so try to have some of this. I'm going to have

some of that. I would never serve that for you. Right, stop being rude. I'm not being rude. I'm saying it feels really... It's something I'm...

It's come a long way. To me, this is like I'm a celebrity but I'm here for it. Oh my God, stop. No, I am Mr. Beige, honestly. I am...

I'll have a crock and I'm sure... Well, that is all right, though. Oh, I'm sure it'd be lovely. I can't wait for two in the morning

to check that out. No, I'm looking forward to it. Right, so I've had the pie mash. And then for dessert, I'm also going to go for the cheese. Oh, yeah. But also with a gooey chocolate fondant. Oh, no. Like a chocolate bomb.

Oh, I couldn't. Yeah, you see, if you'd have told me what you like. Because I'm going to want both. Do you know what I love? When you're on British Showers and it's a fly business, they say, do you want the cheese or the dessert? And I say both, actually. I do love the cheese on the plane.

Me too, I love it. I love the dessert. It's so nice. They do it nice with the chutney and everything. The chutney. It's lovely. I love it. Do you go out to Sheesh a lot?

Yeah, I've been to Sheesh quite a lot. It's literally up the road. Do you go over to Michelle and Mark for dinner? I've still not been over to Michelle and Mark because I still haven't been over there. So Mark wanted to buy the land I bought where I built mine and then he got his one. Well, I wanted to talk about this

because you said you wanted to be an architect. Mm. And you designed your own house. Yep, I mined on my mum's and did my last one. You've got a swimming pool, haven't you? I might have. Because wasn't there a fucking... There's a normal boy here.

Wasn't there a snake or a crocodile in there or something? It was the second time I've had a snake. Babe, why are there snakes in Essex? You get rid of one more thumb. What the fuck? Snakes in Essex? Yes, mum. Apparently, like, snakes are native to Essex.

Did anyone know this? Did anyone know this? No, no one knew that. Snakes are native to Essex. Does anyone know this? Does anyone know this? No, you are joking. Snakes are native to Essex. I believe it's the adder. Oh, an adder's scary, no? Let's wait for it. Britain's only poisonous snake, in fact.

Well, let's find out. Would you not... Who likes your spa? No, type in Essex. Who likes your spa? I think you should cover your screen, pull over. Maybe. It's in dog!

Oh, my God. And the snake was in there! Indoors! How did the snake get in? One was in my kitchen last year. There's loads of bloody snakes in Essex. Why? There's grass snakes, add us. No wonder I'm fucking single.

Slow down. Do they... can you not get kind of a snake shield? Like, where he cuts away. Babe, I've got doors. I don't... it's not a shack. Well, how did they get in? I don't need like a mosquito net. I've got doors. I don't... It's not Shaq. Well, how did they get it? I don't need, like, a mosquito net. I've got doors.

I've got bifolds in the pool. It's fire. He's done well. I'm going to kick him. They're slippery bastards. I feel terrible. I know. If I knew that, I'd clock it.

That is what... Yeah, I've had two snakes. One in my kitchen and one in the pool. One in the pool. One having a swim. That is scary. But I told you, how I found kitchen and one in the pool. One in the pool, one having a swim. But I told you, how I found it is it moved the camera. Did you see it? I saw it.

It was really... It comes up to the camera. It was gripping. Literally. I went live, had to ring some snake catchers. Well, they're such people, the snake catchers. Yeah, they were only up the road, 11 minutes, apparently. Well, because there's a lot of snakes in there.

Well, there you go. They're going and making a living. But they come round, they couldn't find it. And then they went, oh, we're going to leave a frozen mice here. I went, you fucking ain't. Take that out, you poor. So we never found it. A frozen mouse.

Yeah, apparently it'll lure it. I went, well, what are you going to do when you fuck off and it's eating the mice? I ain't going to get it, am I? I'm going to leave a frozen mouse. And I went, where are you going? Well, we'll come back tomorrow. I went, well, why don't you just come and eat the mouse and fuck back off to where it lives? But why didn't you?

No, I'm luring it in. Yeah, but you would have thought they'd have stayed around. Well, it wasn't like the crystal maze. They weren't like mousetrap when the thing was going to come down. They haven't set up like a cage. Did you put it in?

No. It was spitting all over. No. So I'm like, you're not leaving that here. No, I agree with you. So they took it with them. No, I agree with you. But you haven it with them. No, I agree with you.

I haven't seen it since. You haven't seen the snake either? I haven't seen it since. No, but my gardener did say it found a snake skin. How big exactly was the snake? It sounded like a shed skin. Was it as long as this table?

No. No. About that big. Oh my God, that is big. Yeah. Ryland, do you have a pool because you like swimming? I love swimming.

So do you swim every day? I swim most days when I can, if I'm not working. Were you backstroke champion for Essex? Backstroke champion for Essex when I was like 12. Were you? I don't know. Oh, that's like, what's her name? Who was the swimming champion?

Becky Adlington. No, Anne-Marie. Anne-Marie? She was karate. Oh, she was karate, sorry. Karate. Karate. I can't believe I've actually not even asked the first question we asked.

Oh. Which is, who's around the dinner table when you were younger? Oh yeah, growing up. Growing up. What is a memorable dish from your childhood? One of the most memorable food tables I remember as a kid was a Friday night. Yeah. When my nan used to go bingo, or my mum used to go bingo.

And on a Friday night, my auntie Sue, one of her old neighbours, Ruby, who was getting on then, she's definitely dead now, bless her, my Aunty Karen, and maybe, like, Susan's mate or whatever, they lived in Essex, they'd come down to ours in London at, like, 5.30 on a Friday evening, and my nan would always cook boiled bacon potatoes and then

do you remember the bachelor's pasta and sauces it was like pasta and sauce and it was like cheese and broccoli or something and you used to like mix it with milk on the hob and it would make this like cheesy pasta and it was always that and it was just the same fucking thing every Friday but I loved it because it was exciting that people pasta and it was always that and it was just the same fucking thing every Friday But I loved it because it was exciting that people were around. It was always Friday night like everyone's coming over

But I suppose it's like... Did you drink? They'd have like a little drink and stuff like that I was obviously I was only young but it's almost it was almost like our equivalent of like a Jewish Friday night dinner was They're going up the Troxy tonight. get the pasta and sauce and the the Troxy the Troxy yeah oh my god that's where it was when it used to be

a bingo hall so I lived like five minutes up the road from the Troxy growing up wow and it's so strange now that that venue

is like such a did you sink the pink like a queer space when did the Ryland name come it was when I was about 17 I was working

in River Island and I was also doing modelling at the time and I got this modelling job for this like concierge company over Canary Wharf anyway my modelling agency at the time called me Keelan K-E-E-L-A-N Keelan and they were like oh yeah it's better than Ross I was like yeah whatever I don't care give me the money and did this job and it was like me doing a photo shoot like delivering a bunch of flowers to a lady at her apartment or picking up the dry cleaning you know stuff like this anyway at the end of the day I think I got paid like 150 quid or 200 quid I can't remember hell of a lot of money but they paid me by check and they paid it on a printed check so it was

printed to Mr K Clark and I didn't have the bollocks to go up to these people and say, who'd been calling me Keelan all day, to say, can you change this because that's not my name. And I was too embarrassed. So I never ended up cashing the cheque. I swear I've got it somewhere. The next day when I was at work at River Island, across the road was WHMF.

So on my lunch break, I walked over there, picked up a baby name book, opened it to R, saw Ryland and went, oh, that sounds like Keelan. Shut the book. And that was it. That was literally that simple. Otherwise it would have been Keelan. Yeah.

If I didn't get that job. Why wouldn't you stick with Ross? Because it just stuck. Like it just became a thing. And then actually, when you sort of watch the show, 50% of me is glad I've got Rylan to do

certain stuff it's like a little suit of armour can I ask you what's a memorable dish from your childhood well not dissimilar and who was around the dinner table again it's Friday night or it's Passover especially

and so mum was a single mum, but, you know, really kind of insofar as she could, it was utterly inclusive. But Passover was, like, especially important because my grandfather would go round to my grandma's house and, you know, for those that don't know, Passover, which we've just had sitting here,

is a commemoration of the sort of exodus from slavery into freedom and then eventually thirst for promised land and my grandfather used to take the service and there were commemorative food and it's especially powerful because he was a holocaust survivor so to be alongside him at the head of a table the only survivor of his family of four sisters and a brother and his parents, having been a slave himself, singing that story into our family and being present in abundance in food

when you've known what it is to touch the face of that much starvation, privation. He was always, despite the story we were sharing, so completely full of life and joy he was a complex character otherwise you know it's one would perhaps your mum's dad yeah very central to my my life as my grandma or both my grandmas were um you know my mum was like working so my grandma used to pick us up from school she'd go and feed us she is an extraordinary person it's an overused word as all our mums are she um i think she wouldn't mind saying you know i i sound like i've been mugged by a mitford you know but i grew up around the corner from amy winehouse and very very much

my dad were friends everyone i grew up with does not sound like me but i've gone back to videos of me as a child i do sound like this obviously it was a way of creating a character very working class community and my mum started a small business from you know the top floor of our semi-detached house back in the day she did desktop publishing and she became a really successful publisher um you know self-made woman of real kind of power and you know same i suppose the inherited thing and similar to perhaps everyone around this table is the word that i love most which is a it's a hebrew word or a jewish one but it applies to everyone's dove what it means is that um we talk about it a lot about who claims the pen the universe, the narrative is written for you, but we all possess within us the capability

and the power to grab that pencil or pen back and write your own novel. And she's that human in every sense, which is nice to some extent, but you do want like a bit of something. I mean, you know, she's, I mean, woman has deprived me of good four opening chapters of some sort of painful autobiography.

Like when I got divorced, I went round to her house and she's like, how can I be mindful in this conversation? I was like, fucking throw something. I sound like you. I'd have loved that. Mine was like, how can I be mindful in this conversation? You don't want them to be mindful. No, no, no.

She's completely on your side. She's 100%. No, she's very on your side. No, no, she will do that. Is she a v no she's very on your side no no she will do that but it's the way she does it it's always like it's well adjusted formulae she's grown because we've grown alongside her i mean she had my brother when she was like 21 but rob's like that rob's like that you are rob's very much like that i'm the soul i punch first argue after that's true he will speak first and then punch do you forgive quickly I can't forgive

oh I'm the opposite oh I'm a Scorpio like so I will let it happen once you fuck me off once that's fine and we can move through that but you're always in the back

do it the second time you wish you'd never fucking met me Jesse's no fit I'm a bit like that am I but I'm a Libra you don't you never forget

we're close when's your birthday 15th of October forget. We're close. When's your birthday? 15th of October. 25th. We're close, that's why. Do you both read a lot? I don't, which is really odd. I don't read that much.

I write, but I don't read. So what are you writing at the moment? So I did my, I've done two books now. Obviously they're all biographies. But I write music, so I've done quite a lot of songs. They're really good. For yourself or for other people? For myself, which some have been released, but not under Ireland.

And they've done well, which is fun. Isn't that cool? Sorry. So are you going to tell me what the name is? No. And then I've released a couple of tracks, yeah, that have done well and I'm happy with. And you're singing on them? Mm-hmm.

And you've produced them? I haven't produced, I've written them. So you've written them. I've worked with producers. And you've sung on them? Yeah. But have they been named more as a producer, DJ? Featuring.

Featuring. Someone else. Why don't you want people to know? Because I'm not ready for that yet. Okay. else why don't you want people to know because i'm not ready for that yet i tell honest truth because i think where i started out on x factor and i had a very easy role to play on that show and that was be the one that everyone talks about and my job wasn't to sing on x factor i think if joe public read tomorrow ryland's bringing out a cd people would go shut up like and it would already be prejudged

and i've been really like lucky over the last 12 years like i've been successful in my career i've done really really well and this hand is telling me don't tell people it's you because they'll prejudge but then there's this sort of like curiosity killed the cat hand going could you do it all again like from scratch like could you replicate what you've done for yourself again like if you had your chance again do you do you still feel like you need to scratch that itch as a performer badly and it's getting to the point now I mean we I had a sort of not crisis meeting but like I sort of had this moment I look at everything like a film at my the whole life's a film that's how I look at it and I had that moment. I look at everything like a film. The whole life's a film.

That's how I look at it. And I had that moment in the film earlier this year where I was like, it's now or never. If I don't do it now, and I remember having this conversation going, if I don't do it now, we're not doing it. And we need to take this seriously now and do it the right way.

And everyone's like, right, okay, fine. And I'm like, right. And then I get a V in my bonnet. The next thing you know, I'm in Sweden. Next thing I know, I'm here. And I'm like, right, get, fine. And I'm like, right. And then I get a V in my bonnet. The next thing you know, I'm in Sweden. Next thing I know, I'm here. And I'm like, right, get this right. I don't know. There's something with my brain where I'm like...

It's obsessional. I like to set really unrealistic goals. What the fuck's that? That looks like a Viennetta, Mum. Well, it isn't. Did you make this? Yeah, I did. What is it?

Well, you eat it. It's a coffee ice cream cake. Oh, that looks delicious. That looks gorgeous. That's not up your... No, it's not. Can I get you something else? No, but coffee ice cream cake. Oh, that looks delicious. That looks gorgeous. That's not up your... No, it's not. Can I get you something else? No, but it would be such bad for my...

You don't need to eat it, darling, at all. You're not a sweet person. Not at all. He never eats it. Oh, no, that's not true. I love calippos. Oh, yeah, you do love it. I slowly...

That's an interesting one. This looks gorgeous. What's happened? Oh, no. That is fucking handsome. Good. It's gorgeous. Oh, it's good. What have you put Oh, no. That is fucking handsome. Good. It's gorgeous. Oh, it's good.

What have you put in this? It's got Kahlua. Ooh. Lady's fingers. Lady's fingers. We have fingering potatoes. We've got fingering in this episode. It's got caramel ice cream and coffee ice cream.

Gorgeous. It's nice, though. This is absolutely lovely. Whose recipe is this? BBC, I think. BBC. Wood. Can you cook you two? No, he can. Rylan can, Rob can't.

I have no transferable skills of any meaningful sort. We would be a great couple because I could do all of that and he could get me out of trouble with a law. Rylan would have snake and liquor. What would you cook us if we were coming over to your house? I'd probably go quite Italian. get me out of trouble with a law. Try them with us. Snake and liquor. Snake and liquor. What would you cook us if we were coming over to your house? I'd probably go quite Italian. Okay.

I'd probably make you fresh tagliatelle from scratch. Oh. I'd make you pesto, tagliatelle with chargrilled chicken breast. Mmm. Pesto, pine nuts. Pesto with pesto and mortar and the whole bit. Yeah, I'd make the pesto, I'd make the pasta. Have you done this before?

Yeah. I did MasterChef. Of course you did. How did you do on it? I became second. Who beat you? Was it Matt Black? Kimberly from the Pussycat Dolls.

Damn you, Pussycat Dolls! What was your final... So my final three courses that I made was my starter was savoury macarons. Ooh. Macarons. Oh my God, that's clever. So I did like a tikka masala macaron. Do they give you any tips?

I'm talking... How do you even know how to do that? You don't even... You know what I'm like, show me something once, I'll do it. It's so bizarre. I should have been a London cabbie. You take me somewhere once. Your knowledge. I'll go, leave on your right, Edge'll do it. It's so bizarre, yeah. I should have been a London cabbie. You take me somewhere once. I'll go, leave on your right, Edgeware Road.

Was it John Turode and Greg Wallace? Yeah. Yeah. So I did a trio of macaroni. He's like a genius. John Turode's so lovely. So lovely. I was like, absolutely not.

I don't want to go on MasterChef. My management were like, it's really, really good. It's good for your profile. It's like quite early on. And I was like, oh, okay thought i'll go out first first round first round i got there and it was like muslin cloth and they were like right there's ingredients there you've got 60 minutes off you go make what you want so we've done that and the first thing i see is veal and i'm like no like i can't do it like i've got arlene was it arlene i think it was yes you

burnt yourself arlene arlene cooking the veal. This one cooking the veal. There was five of us. And they've all gone for the veal. And me, again, the way my brain thinks, I'm thinking, no one said you have to use the veal. But that was obviously the main ingredient. So I just grabbed the biscuits and I made a raspberry cheesecake and won. Oh, my God. That's brilliant.

And I didn't even know I could make cheesecake. It's extraordinary. I just made it. Your brain is. And they were like, that's very innovative. You didn't even know I could make cheesecake so well I just made it your brain is and they were like that's very innovative you didn't use the veal I was like well you didn't say

we had to use the veal and you went no we didn't and I remember them all going I've never cooked veal I thought we had to use the veal an orchid so yeah

but I loved it like I remember one of the oh yeah so that was my my start for the finale was a trio of macarons. And it was like a tikka masala, a tomato mozzarella macaron and then something else.

Did you practice? I practiced the macarons, but my main was a trio of beef. You like a trio? I love trio. I just think it's nice having a little bit. I didn't know this about you. So I did, I got Wagyu beef and I made like a Wagyu beef cube like a seared cube

of Wagyu beef then I made Wagyu beef sashimi cooked but obviously not raw and then I made a Wagyu beef tea

like a cup of tea it was like a beef tea and then my dessert was the shard and that's what let me down because on MasterChef gonna going to give it all away, they don't try it there and then.

And I was adamant. I was like, you need to, you need to, I need to go first with this. You need to try mine straight away, straight away. But you made the chard? Yeah, I'll show you. And then basically there was a reset for one of the problems with the lights. So anyway, what it was supposed to be. But it still was to a certain extent.

So I made like a marbled, white and milk chocolate marbled shard that sort of sat up on the plate like that. And then you cracked into it and inside was a, I made a praline ice cream. Oh my God. With a biscuit crumb. Shit. And then I made blackcurrant fizzy jelly cubes. Will you send us the recipe?

Oh God, no. But my famous dish on MasterChef was I made Ryland's cheerful meal. So I made a McDonald's, a happy meal. A happy meal. Cheerful. I was on the phone to someone in Chicago trying to get the Big Mac recipe.

I called so much, the source, they gave it to me. Oh my God. But do you not know, it's so... We have rye nuggets, big rye. That grabbing of the pen and going, no, no, I know you said no, but... When I say I've got no...

I did stand up to cancer bake-off. How did that go for you, Rob? The cameraman, I think, I can't remember how long he was off work, but he was laughing so much at, like, my bake, whatever it was. I didn't... Was it terrible? Whatever it was. It's the worst person I was the worst person ever I was laughing so she's like back came out yeah whatever it was he had a yeah

my I went to my friend's house who showed me how to make a cake and started putting flour all over her counter and I felt unwell at the mess of it all I was quite tired so I went and fell asleep in the lounge and then I'd never seen the show. So you missed the lesson. I missed it. It was an absolute horror. So how do you eat? Well, during lockdown, I became really good friends with Hamid,

shout out, who was a driver for a well-known delivery company, and he and I became really close. I was invited to his wedding. Hold on. Did you order so much Uber Eats or Deliveroo that you haven't... Not Uber Eats,

but maybe the other one, because it may or may not be a breach of his terms of contract you went to his wedding no I was invited that's how I survived you could have married him so what do you eat tomorrow are you out tomorrow night oh my god this is like

with being with my mum I think if she saw my fridge she'd be so upset you can go try and mess and heat things up no I don't my kitchen's for storage it makes a mess so how would you describe the design concept of your house

and somebody said it looked like the waiting room in Dignitas oh my god it's very sterile I love it like that I love the smell of like cleanliness I love the smell of blade shop floor cleaning right

it's basically a repository for art so we've not got kids as well that's so important do you know what I mean so it's like I will walk into my house

exactly and if that don't is like that I'm like who has cut you I've got

I've got worming treatment for the whole family over there, so yeah, no, I'm so sorry. Thank you for the meal. Just put a bit in the ice cream. Covering your son, please. I think I might need him. But you... But yeah, so

you have very clean places that are beautiful, but immaculate but it has to be perfect it's got to be perfect yeah oh god

that's why we get on really well you must feel quite anxious being here no I love this is gorgeous if somebody else had lived in with kids and lied at heaven

but it has to be perfect for you for my space yeah not my study which is full of books and it's the only room that has a bit of chaos in it but otherwise

yeah I know I love coming in like houses where you've got kids and life and cats and dogs Not my study, which is full of books, and it's the only room that has a bit of chaos in it. But otherwise, yeah. I know I love coming in houses where you've got kids and life and cats and dogs. Oh, my God, I've got chocolate now. Yeah. And a mum with chocolate on her right. Are you saving this for tomorrow? Because we can just get you a Tupperware.

Do you sing? Well, you're a singer and you're a producer. Do you sing karaoke ever? Mum has got a whole fucking thing called... Karaoke. Kara called... Karaoke. Karaoke. Karaoke. You actually do.

Okay, but do you... Which would be your song? So my go-to karaoke song would be Craig David, Fill Me In. Oh. I know, very random. Anything Craig David. Have you met him? Yes, I've sung with Craig actually.

Does he love you? I love Craig. I would like to know your karaoke he love you? I love Craig. I would like to know your karaoke song. Well, we did it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did it. In Rome.

Yeah. Lionel and Diana in Lesley. We haven't got to Rome, though, have we? No. You'll see it. You'll see it. It is available now on iPlayer. It's number three. That's number three.

It's number three. You did it. It's the end of the series. Who took Diana? Me. Who took Lionel? Yeah, you did it it's the end of the series who took Diana me who took Lionel did you yeah you did

yeah yeah nice top range no no no but we'd been singing Castrati well I actually found him asleep at a cash point five minutes before

so sorry we were in this really small karaoke bar I don't go out I'm like party like and I was like

and the crew were going right and I'm sitting there talking to these people in the bar like what's up and they were like right I need you out. I'm like party like this. And I was like, and the crew are going, right, and I'm sitting there talking to these people in the bar like, what's up? And they were like, right,

we need you outside and I'm like, fuck, something really bad's happened. I came out, the first thing I see is slumps on the floor up against the cash point

so I think someone's hit him, run over. No, he's just sitting there in his fucking fisherman's hat. Thought he'd take a nap. It was really late. Outside the cash point.

It wasn't late, it was 11pm. Actually, it would have been 10pm so we were an hour ahead. But he doesn't go out, so he's never going to meet anyone. Lenny just said, you're never going to meet anyone. Because he doesn't go out.

I thought he was sleeping there because he thought someone might give him 10 euro. He thought this is the most handy place to sit. And they got the money out. Yeah, it's true literally so in that scene he's just

woke up I've dragged him in the song started playing and the camera's just rolled and that's the whole end of the series I mean I know that you you touch on it

but do you think series two could be more that you take Rob to I think you and you go and experience like I don't think you've seen like the whole completion of the series because actually take Rob to and you go and experience

I don't think you've seen the whole completion of the series because actually it really is a balance it does swim around the episode something happened it really is important because the Grand Tour to some extent is about obviously about art and learning about

that history of the Renaissance and the Baroque and all of that stuff, which is important because it shapes and informs how we think about our bodies and how you talk to your kids yourself about... And I genuinely think I can sit here and have a conversation about art. Without question. No.

But also, it was also experiential, so it's all very well to exactly as he described, to be able to talk about it, but how they went to escape all of the you know the social mores that informed them how they had to be and live in freedom and and you know sup from the marrow and the joy of life right and that's you know as much a part of it as understanding you know why Botticelli put you put paint on a canvas. If people like it and it does well, we've discussed what we would do next. Last question, because I feel like this Prussian food memory

that can transport you back somewhere that is kind of happy or sad, like a taste or a smell that can just transport you back somewhere. I know mine instantly. Okay, go on then. McDonald's Happy Meal chicken nuggets with the barbecue McDonald's sauce takes me back to Allgate, McDonald's, always a McDonald's birthday party when we were kids. And they used to put the balloons around

and back in the McDonald's then you had all these stones with artificial yucca plants in back then and the plastic chairs with the bars and the padding. And it just reminds me of that. Is it a happy memory? It's a really happy memory, because it was just exciting for me. And the burgers, when you could move on to the adult burgers, even though you're still a kid, they were in those polyphone boxes.

Are we allowed to take one friend backstage? Yeah, to look around the kitchen. Yeah, to look around the kitchen. I remember that was a proper thing, yeah. God, McDonald's really features in this podcast. Yeah, right. Well, no. Rob, have you got one?

I should have come prepared. That's okay. Do you know what chulun is? Do people know what chulun is? Chulun, I, chulun, chulun. Chulun, yeah. I've never had it, but people have talked about it. It's like a stew, right?

Yeah, it's a stew. It's made depending, you know, where where people are where their heritage is from but it's a stew that was traditionally made before the sabbath and it's got butter beans and oxtail and the smell actually the smell yeah yeah it's strong no i love it and it it's made like the lamb you made tonight slow cooked and it's like the smell of all of the lovely things about childhood and warmth

and being kind of enveloped in food that's been made permeated with love do you see how different we are I love I love you both

and I love it's just the most perfect pairing and thank you so much for coming here we know how busy you are we love you so much yeah and everybody's so jealous

that we've got you on. Can we go on a date? Yes, let's move this to the next stage. Yeah, we'll go somewhere. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having us. Congratulations on a really beautiful show. Thank you.

And just like this gorgeous friendship. That is definitely the best thing to come out of it. And I know that sounds cheesy. I hate him, but it's true. It's fab. It's so gorgeous to be with you both but yeah

this needed to have a part two so yeah we'll come back thank you okay yeah let's come back for the next season actually we'll come back and we'll cook for you

how's that okay amazing I'm not cooking he's not cooking where's the chocolate oh god no leave that he's taking it as long as he puts it in a bag.

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed that. I apologise now to Alice, our producer, because I don't actually know whether we got any food stuff in, but we had a gorgeous time. Just delightful. What a wonderful pair, but putting you and Rob next to each other was a mistake. Jessie, I can tell you I'm more concerned about bloody snakes in Essex. I know.

Who knew? We won't be going around to Rylance today, will we? We're not going to Rylance for a swim. We'll go to Islington, thank you. To Dignitas. Dignitas, where he doesn't... I don't think he opens his oven, does he? I just love them. What a pair.

They're both very clever men. Very clever. And I think that's why they get on. And kind and lovely. Kind and clever, yeah. And generous to each other. Can I just do one thing? What?

I want to shout out... I've just been to Greece, and I came back on a train from the airport, and I want to shout out, I've just been to Greece, and I came back on a train from the airport, and I want to shout out to, well, first of all, the nice steward who recognised my voice and carried my bag. Did he sing, darling, hold my hand? No, he didn't sing that, thank God, and he didn't hold my hand. The other thing, what I met, Sian and Sue,

we stuck together, braved our way through the Tottenham Hotspur fans to get on the train and then i'd like to thank two gorgeous young people you haven't won an award in stockwell who carried my bag up the 20 steps that i forgot there were at stock mom i'm just proud of you that you took the tube i'm very proud of me because i haven't been on a tube since covid before covid wow so anyway thank you to all the people that help carry old woman's bags well thank you to rylan and rob uh you can watch the grand tour um on bbc2 and iplayer and it is charming yeah and um you've got food all the down yeah i've got soup there chocolate there and a bit of london

astrology on your on your chest um right thank you so much for listening we'll see you next week