Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S17 Ep 13 - Jesse Eisenberg

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

Happy New Year! We have a corker of an episode to kick of the 2025 season, the delightful Jesse Eisenberg. Jesse popped over for a late lunch to celebrate the release of his new film ‘A Real Pain’ which is beautiful.We learnt all about filming in Poland, working with his 8 year old son to create a home restaurant, celebrating ‘Thanksliving’ where they adopt a turkey, his bizarre first date with his wife, working with Emma Stone and what it's like growing up with a professional clown (his mum!). Thank you Jesse for helping us celebrate the start of 2025, good luck with award season, we’re rooting for you! A Real Pain is released in cinemas in the UK on 8th January - don’t miss it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Table Manners. Happy New Year. Happy New Year everybody. Lenny's looking fab, hair's on point. My New Year hair. It's really good. Big hair, don't care. Big hair, don't care. We are sitting in Clapham. The fire is on because it's so cold and it's an afternoon affair. It is. For somebody we're really excited about. I can't wait. I've loved him ever since I saw him

in The Squid and the Whale. We have Jesse Eisenberg coming on, who is not only an incredibly gifted actor. You've seen him in kind of every brilliant director's film and also playing fantastic roles whether it's Toby Fleishman in Fleishman's in Trouble or Mark Zuckerberg in Social Network. He's amazing but he's not only an actor he is a writer, a director and that is why he's coming on today because he's talking about his new film A Real Pain

which he wrote he directed, he wrote, he directed and starred in with Kieran Culkin. It's a lovely film. It's a really touching film and it's kind of based loosely on his family. I think they're calling it a buddy, a buddy, what do they call it? A buddy. A road trip, a buddy road trip thing. He's going to visit the area his relative came from, but it does include the Holocaust. And what I thought that was so brilliant about the way they did that, the silence, it didn't exploit the drama of the Holocaust

that we all know about, but just the silence of that particular scene was so moving. The film is really beautiful and touching and gentle and funny and heartbreaking. And Kieran Culkin is bloody great in it. And it's up for lots of awards already. It's already up for four Golden Globes.

Yeah, they're both up for best actor and best supporting. Yeah, best screenplay. And bestbes. Yeah, they're both up for best actor and best supporting. Yeah, best screenplay. And best picture. Yeah. And this is a very, I think, probably quite a low budget film. I don't know. It's an independent film. It's beautiful.

We are so excited to have Jesse Eisenberg on. What are we cooking for him today, mum? So I have made mushroom volivons. Yeah. So I bought the volivon cases and I've made them the- Where do you get volivon cases from? Marks and Spence or Ocada. Oh really? Yeah. So I bought the volvon cases and I've made them the Where do you get volvon cases from? Marks and Spence or Ocada. Yeah. So they're little mini volvon. I've done blinnies, which I made myself.

You did make from the cookbook. Yeah, from our own cookbook, darling. So I've made blinnies with smoked salmon and some caviar. I've got fish balls and I've made chopped liver because I don't know if he likes chop liver but I've brought it up. Well it is quite divisive, I'll never forget when poor loyal Karna had to look at that chop liver and when we were doing a Hanukkah special. Well do you like chop liver?

Well I've grown up with your chop liver. I'm hoping that he's grown up with it and it's better than what's it, Delhi on Second Avenue because it is good chopped liver I can tell you that now. Yeah, Jessie lives in New York doesn't it? Yeah. Let's see. I've also made a clementine cake. Nigella. Nigella, but I thought I, well this was very odd, I thought that I wanted to have little clementines on the top, kind of decorative, and then I thought can I just put them in raw? But you don't, you have to candy them slightly

in some sugary water. Then I put them in the bottom. Then I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought, they're not gonna be on the top of the cake, they're on the bottom of the cake. Anyway, I've turned the cake upside down, which I think is okay. Okay.

So I've turned it over so it's like an upside down cake, but the little oranges are right there, they look very pretty. Okay great. I'm very pleased about that. I'm thrilled. And I've also bought some mince pies. Do you think he's had a mince pie before? I don't know. The Americans don't really know what a mince pie is. They don't get it but... We'll find out. We are thrilled to be kicking off 2025 Table Manners with Jessie Osborne. Starting the new year with a bang. ["The Golden Globe"] Jesse Eisenberg, you're in our kitchen.

Yes, I am. We're so thrilled. Yeah. Congratulations on quite a big week. We're recording now. Thank you so much. We've just found out about the old Golden Globe. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, you've been up for many before, but this is your film, this is your baby. You're up for screenplay, picture, actor, best supporting actor. I mean, it's Mazel Tov. Oh, thank you. I always wanted to say thank you in Hebrew. What is the Hebrew thing of it? I don't know either.

The darabah. Oh, is that right? Is that the correct way to say it? Oh, maybe that's good morning. No, that's baka tov I think tada Familiar i've heard this before you think tada Yeah, but I don't know what context I heard in but I that's good morning. Yeah Well, I mean I know that from jade. Did you go to jade? What is jade?

Hebrew classes. Oh, I did but we didn't call it that you didn't what do you call? Hebrew school Hebrew school. Yeah, American we called it Hader. That sounds more serious Let's go back to the beginning then. Okay, you grew up. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Queens, New York until I was five and then we moved to the suburbs in New Jersey And who was around your dinner table and what were you eating? my parents Mike and my sister I have a younger sister, but she was born much later and What was who what were we eating? I don't know

My mom used to joke that she didn't know how to cook and I never Thought about it or cared until I met my wife and she had dinner with my family and said the same thing No, but my mom was so funny and she was cool So it was great sitting around the dinner table was like, you know humor was the currency, you know It was like if you were funny, you can get a word in, you could tell your story, but it had to be funny. Yeah. So food was less important.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's exactly right. Actually, yeah. That's how we should work it, that's it, Jessie. Humor rather than food. Instead of fighting and giving delicious food, we should just, okay, got it. But you were probably also funny.

You managed to find both, right? I did. Oh yeah, well, not sure. Not sure. Definitely we used to fight. So you were laughing around the dinner table. Yeah. So not particularly a memorable dish

or is there something that your mom would try and make for you that you loved? No, but I once got on a cooking kick and I was like, I'm gonna pour orange juice on chicken. And so for like two weeks, she let me do that and I got to make dinner a few times. Just I poured orange juice on chicken. Well, I mean, Otelan ultimately does a really good clementine and

So you maybe you ahead of the suspecting maybe he was yeah, there was probably nuance there that I was missing We've been at this food. No, I dropped out of Hebrew school or hi. What's it again? Hi When I was like 11 right before or maybe 12 right before because I was really, you know I don't know what it's like here But in where I lived these bar mitzvahs were like these kind of extravagant celebrations of a bratty kid. Yeah, with a theme.

Yeah, with a theme, and I just, I hated them so much. I was like, not a happy kid. I didn't like going to these parties. And basically like, these things just turned me off so much, like the celebration of a, oh no, I don't deserve pity. I just remember thinking like, I hate these things. Like, you know, there's like karaoke and the kids, it's always like all the popular kids were like,

and I just hate it so much. I dropped out of Hebrew school and I got bar mitzvahed when I was like 25 because I was like doing a movie where I was playing a Hasidic Jew. And for research for the movie, I started going to this Jewish Hasidic kind of school and they gave me bar mitzvah. So I was bar mitzvahed by Hasidic,

like 30 Hasidic standing around me what you too? But that's really interesting did you ask them if you could have a theme that's really great no no their theme is They're a themeless bunch They're not gonna watch this so it's okay. They were really nice to me. I told them when I was doing there I was like I'm here. I'm playing a Hasidic Jew in a movie. What movie was it? It was called Holy Rollers. I played a Hasidic Jewish ecstasy dealer. And-

That sounds great. Yes, it's a genre. And no, they were super like cool with me and everything, but like they're like a theme-less group of people, if I can say that. So you didn't have a theme, but you did have a Bar Mitzvah. Did you feel more Jewish at that point? Or did the kind of ecstasy dealer kind of eradicate that too?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's a wash. I think like maybe just like playing a Jew that was so extreme, I in some ways maybe, because you're kind of implying like maybe feel even more like a secular American, you know, because I was like, wow, this is like a version of Jewishness that I'll never understand. Really, I became like maybe more interested in my faith when I mean my in-laws Passed and my wife became more interested in going to temple more So that was part of it so that she can feel more of a connection to her parents and then like doing this movie was Really about kind of connecting to my history and it's interesting. I'm really disconnected to like The faith I think I speak for a lot of people maybe my age maybe New Yorkers

I can't speak for what the experience here in England is, where it's just like my life is like an entirely Jewish experience, but that has nothing to do with like, God. And so like, everything I do all day, I mean, I'm writing jokes all day and eating bagels in the morning, like it's entirely Jewish life. It's a cultural, yeah, but it's entirely cultural, entirely like secular. And that seems okay. And I know my grandparents would probably not be happy with what I've turned into, you know, because for them, a relationship with God was the thing that was like linking them

to their history. And it's just not that way anymore. But I'm no less, you know, Jewish than they are. It's just manifesting in a kind of different way. Do you have children? Yeah. And my son is really funny. He's always trying to do stand up comedy.

Does he tell jokes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going trying to do stand-up comedy. Does he tell jokes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going through a weird phase of telling jokes that are really non-jokes. Come on, give us one. How old is he? He's so goddamn cute, but basically the new thing is like wants to do stand-up comedy. And so like the jokes are basically this, goes on stage and says like, everybody, what is your favorite food? And then somebody raises their hand and they said like the other day,

he did it with our friends and the friend said chickpeas. And he goes, chickpeas, what is your favorite food? And then somebody raises their hand, and they said, like, the other day, he did it with our friends, and the friend said, chickpeas. And he goes, chickpeas, chickpeas. Well, you know, sometimes I fry them, and sometimes I eat them. Is that even a thing? And that was his joke. It's like not a joke. It's the sweetest thing in the world.

He gets, like, the rhythm of comedy. It's like, you know, that's the kind of thing. But not the content of comedy. Does he remind you of yourself? Yes. It was humiliating. When he did that, I was, I just literally, I just had this flashback of me just being like that as a kid and like trying to do jokes

and like that I didn't know what I was saying, but I just loved commanding the attention of the room with that humor. So Jesse, you were on this podcast, Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso. It was like a therapy session between both of you and he knew everything about you. I definitely don't know as much about you as him, but it was really, it was an amazing

conversation. But from what I listened to on that podcast, when you were talking about your childhood and about the two tissues that you needed to go to school with the, the, the crying hanky and the bleeding hanky. And, and, and, you know, from what I gather, you, you were anxious and then it seems like jokes became a bit of a I don't know like a survival thing. Of course Yeah doing like theater. I grew up doing like community theater. That was like life-saving as well as um Yeah humor, you know It's so interesting though because like and we're talking about kind of like Jewish culture and looking back and stuff like I didn't realize Like all the stuff I was interested were kind of like Jewish things

and looking back and stuff like I didn't realize like all the stuff I was interested were kind of like Jewish things like you know, of course other people write jokes the things I was interested in were like self Deprecating humor. It's like this very Jewish thing Yeah, and only when I became an adult and I realized like oh all the things I'm interested in are like just very culturally specific I just assumed that everybody that's how everybody deals with the world But no the things I was doing and interested in were just very Jewish things in retrospect, but unconsciously knowing that, you know. What was one of your memorable jokes from when you started out as a comic when you were younger? I mean- That worked or didn't work, Jesse?

Yeah, I mean, I recently found a joke that I had written on a post-it note and I found it because my parents just moved houses and so I was cleaning out my old bedroom and I found a joke that I wrote when I was like 13 and it was about sex something I wouldn't know about for six years And the joke was I had sex in every room of my apartment. Unfortunately, I lived in a studio apartment You know, fortunately, I was a live in a studio. I had sex in every room of my house. Unfortunately I live in a studio apartment. That was a joke. It's not a bad joke. It's a great I didn't know what sex was. Yeah, and I didn't know what sex was all I was doing is I was watching a lot of stand-up comedy and they would talk about sex and I didn't know

like I really was a late bloomer with all this stuff and so like I just heard that's like a funny thing to mention in a joke and now I guess I would think it's kind of a cheat you know to talk about sex and a joke sounds like a cheat. So we're just waiting for your your son to do the first sex joke. Yeah exactly. Poo jokes all the time's what jesse's children do. Oh interesting. They they like talking about poo and wee and I sometimes do that in order to curry favor with him, but that's not his style Yeah, i'd love to hear about like do you cook for your wife? Does your wife cook for you? Is she a good cook? My wife grew up in a very like interesting family in a college town and her mom ran a domestic violence shelter for 35 years

Also is an incredible cook or was rather and so my wife grew up eating Very spicy indian food very experimental, you know cuisines, especially in the 70s and 80s grew up eating like just very unusual foods Especially in indiana where she where she grew up And so my wife now cooks very eclectic foods. My kid has been saying his favorite food is curry and now gimbap, which is a kind of Korean rice ball. And so my wife is really exposed, the opposite of me, was really exposed to unusual cuisines from a young age. And so she cooks and she cooks these unusual stews

and zaatar and cumin and all this stuff that to me is just like overwhelmingly too flavorful for me because I have such bland taste buds and so I Are kind of running joke slash fight is that I sometimes will come to dinner having eaten Did you do that today Jesse? Well, she's in New York. So she has no idea what I'm doing now No, no, no, no, I'm doing now. Is no one in your house? Yes. No, no, no, no. I'm also on a different time zone. For me, it's like three in the morning or whatever it is. When did you arrive? Well, I got here yesterday, you know, but I'm on a weird time thing. So I'm so happy to do this.

No, in fact, I purposefully didn't eat an attempt because I wanted to come here. We're just having little picky bits. That's fine. So it's kind of no pressure. That's great. And we have kind of gone with a theme of Jewish bits. Well, that's great. I can't see that. Yeah, no, I do. I love Jewish food. So you come from what you describe as a cultural Jewish background. Yeah. And then the film, it is culturally Jewish, but it is also about your journey as a Jewish man and all the people on the trip are all Jewish and it's a Jewish heritage trip in a way.

Yeah, but the interesting thing about that tour is like a lot of those people on this tour group that our characters go on, you know, this heritage tour of Poland are based on people I know and there's a character played by Kurt Eggewan, the brilliant British actor Kurt Eggewan, he plays a survivor of the Rwandan genocide who converted to Judaism He's based on a friend of mine The same name same storyline and everything and yeah, really a loge is the most religious person I know like the real a loge is the most religious person I know on a Jewish holiday a loge will send me some email in Hebrew wishing me a happy holiday that I have to go And Google Translate and a loge is Rwandan, but he's the most Jewish person I know, religious person I know. And so really, I don't really know

religious Jews. And again, with the exception of Aloj, who is Rwandan and converted to Judaism and that to me, he converted. Yeah. So what happened to Aloj was, oh my gosh, did you not? I, yeah, I, I know that he converted in the, yeah, but I didn't know he's based on it's based on a real Yeah, the real guy survived the genocide in Rwanda and moved to Winnipeg as a refugee and the only people he felt comfortable talking to were Holocaust survivors So he became like very close with Holocaust survivors and then converted and found how did you meet each other? We met at a wedding in Canada. My wife was friends with like one of his friends. He's amazing guy He now like works high up in the Canadian government He's like a truly brilliant brilliant like

Unbelievably overachieving man, but I just found it fascinating that he had more knowledge about my faith than I did because sometimes you know Well, it's like converts often do Yeah, my mom was what converted? Yeah, my father was Jewish Right, she had more Yiddish than anybody she used to say what's the word in English? Like she didn't know she only knew the Yiddish than anybody else. Of course. She used to say, what's the word in English? Like she didn't know. She only knew the Yiddish word to describe something. Really? Yeah.

Oh my goodness. So did you have to ask permission for all the different characters that were based on people you knew? Only a loge because it was so specific and his story is so sensitive. So I said, I'm making this movie. It's kind of comedic,

but it's going to be incredibly respectful and reverential to your history. And I sent him the script and his wife and him read it and she they loved it and ended up helping me cast the, you know, a loge cast Kurt Egion and his wife sent me all the costumes that she thought we should put the character. So it was really sweet. Yeah, it was very nice. So you cast, you were involved in the casting as well Yeah, I mean I yeah directed the movie. So that's yeah the casting is up to the director and the casting agent Oh fabulous. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it really is everyone. It's a really nice. You must be thrilled with all these Nominations. Yeah, it's weird

Like I made a movie that came out last year that like no one saw and so it's like It's called when you finish saving the world it started Julianne Moore and Finn Wolfhard and it's good But like I was expecting the same experience which is like you write something and it just turns into thin air So this has been very unusual like very very touching though. Oh, thanks. It's beautiful. It's just beautiful Thanks a lot, but it's also like a lot of luck, you know I'm there are amazing movies that came out this year that are not getting attention. It's just a lot of luck I don't know how all these things work. There's probably 20,000 movies are made a year And like so I just feel like I'm kind of just like pinching myself

I can't can't believe how lucky I got I know the movie's good, but like a lot of movies are good So I we got lucky or it hit at a nice moment or whatever I don't know on the podcast you talked about trauma tourism And yeah the fact that you part of when you go on a I don't know if you call it a holiday But when you go for a trip you that fascinates you history and that you part of when you go on a I don't know if you call it a holiday But when you go for a trip you that fascinates you history and that you Where's your next trip that you're taking where you're going to visit the next trip? I want to take is Moldova It's where my mom's side of the family comes from It's where my family left because of they were kicked out or there was a pogrom or something, you know

So it's not wasn't a happy ending there. I've been working in Budapest for the last few months I've been trying I've been trying to go there, but I couldn't fit in with my schedule Yeah, those are the trips I like luckily I married somebody who like also is really into that kind of thing and how did you two meet? She worked on like three movies when she moved to new york from indiana and one of them was a movie called the emperor's club She was an assistant to the producer and that was like the first movie I was in I was just about to turn 18 I'm 17 and uh, we met and I asked her she's such an unusual person I'd never been on a date in my entire asked her, she's such an unusual person,

I'd never been on a date in my entire life, but she has such like an open quality. So I was like, will you date me? And she was like, no, no, of course not, not at all. And I was, cause I was 17 or whatever. And then we kept in touch over the summer and she still wouldn't date me, you know. And then finally we went on what felt maybe to me

like a date and probably to her not like a date. And that was my, in my mind, I mean that was my first date I ever been on. Where was it? Well, that was the weird thing. I took her to see this movie called Secretary. What, the Maggie Gyllenhaal? Yeah.

Oh yeah, oh my God. And my wife, I didn't know what it was about. I just knew it was like, It's like dominate, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. She likes to be kind of, you know. Submissive. Yeah, submissive.

And we were sitting there, it was a full, it was Friday night, it was like a full theater. A It was like a full and my wife put she took her jacket off and she put it over her head and sat there with the mood With it and I was like, oh my god, this person's so weird I want to marry this person because she was sitting she didn't see any of the movie because it was disturbing and I was like I just kept whispering. I'm so sure you want to leave. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, let's stay Let's stay but she didn't see a frame of it or maybe like after the 10 10 minutes of the movie She put the jacket, no, no, no, no, let's stay let's stay but she didn't see a frame of it or maybe like after the 10 10 minutes of the movie she put the jacket over anyway, so weird How did you see you were more concerned about how she found her weird rather than oh my god

I've made the worst mistake of my life bringing her so this you were like, this is great I had no idea what she was doing. I didn't know I didn't know that she was like, you know It was very uncomfortable for her to watch, you know, I didn't know that I mean it was an idiot I've been on a date. I thought maybe this is what women do and they don't like you. I don't know. They put their jacket above your face. Or maybe when they do like you, they can't show how much they love you. So they have to put their jacket over your face. So let's talk about your last supper. It doesn't have to be as bleak as you think. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can just be going somewhere. On a desert island. Oh, you mean literally where I'm dying? No, we hate that. You don't have to die. Okay, great. So why is it the last one? It's the last one before you go away for six months. We used to call it a separate meal and then it was like, I couldn't have that. So we didn't do that. Okay, got it. And then last supper we kind of now do it not about dying. Got it. Got it. Got it. It's just been a whole journey with this. Okay, so just a special supper. Favorite meal. So we've got an appetizer, a main,

a dessert and a drink of choice. Where are you gonna go? Is it, like, you can eat out, you can have a homemade thing. Yeah, I got it. Yeah, so my child has just created a restaurant that we're now working on in our house and it's called Jaffon, J-A-F-O-N, and the day I flew out here, which was yesterday, I picked them up from Bel-A and we went to Kinko's and we've printed out the menus and laminated them. So we have a full menu, a drink

menu and a dessert menu for Jaffon and my kid created the logo for it and we did the menu together. Oh my god, where are the tables? Where the tables, they're gonna be- Inside- It's invite only. Invite only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a supper club.

Yes, it's a supper club. And the funny thing is my kid takes it so seriously that he decided to give, so I wanna get a gift for my agents for the holidays, you know, my talent agents who have access to everything in the world, you know, they're high powered talent agents. And he's forced me to now give a $ dollar gift card to Jaffan for them.

And I keep trying to tell them like, they're not, that's not what they want. These people go to like, you know, snow boo or whatever. And he's like, no, they're going to love it. They're going to love it. And I think the hundred dollars is fair. You know, so, so that's get much a hundred dollars. Well, we're, we're, you know, we're in beta mode. So actually we're having discounts.

So, okay. If I had, so if I'm ordering from Jaffan, is that okay? Yeah What what star is Jaffan Japanese and Chinese farm to table? Oh Jaffan Jaffan. No stop. This is your eight-year-old child. Yes. He's brilliant though And like he's quite he's obsessed with like asking people like he loves talking to adults So his opening question is what's your favorite cuisine and then they tell him they're like, and what specifically in that cuisine would you go for? That's what his new two questions are.

I want to go to Jaffan. Jaffan? Please, can you get me that 100? It's a very interesting restaurant. OK, so what's on the menu? OK, so it's Japanese Chinese farm to table. So for me- How does he know what farm to table is?

Because he's like a kid in New York with parents. They always say farm to table on all the menus. They do, don't they? They love it. And he's an only child and we take him wherever we go. Like he's with us all the time. So he speaks kind of like an adult, you know, whatever. So I mean, it's a weird life that he's having, I know.

He's the only child in New York city. So he like goes to with my wife and I to like everything. So, okay, I would start with a seaweed salad of wakame seaweed salad, which is in the appetizers. And then for my main entree there, I would have an okonomiyaki, which is a Japanese pancake that he and I make sometimes. It's cabbage and it's like a kitchen sink Japanese pancake.

So what do you put in it? So at the base is like flour and cabbage. So it's not just like a regular pancake of flour. It's mostly cabbage and flour as the binding. It's almost like a kind of bubble and squeak without the mashed potato. Do you know what bubble and squeak is? No, I do.

It's like cabbage and potato. Cabbage and potato and you kind of, it's like the leftovers. And you fry it up. Right, butter. Yorn is like, it's more like a pancake. Exactly, exactly. And you could put anything in.

A lot of times, Japanese, like in Japanese restaurants, they'll put like, in fact, it's famous. It's from Hiroshima. It's like famous there. And in fact, I went there and got like the best okonomiyaki. Sometimes they'll put like shrimp in it, ginger on top, bonito flakes,

which is like kind of a fish flake. Shut up, your kid's eating a bonito flake. My kid loves bonito. Oh my God, I'm obsessed with your kid. Your kid needs to tell my kids how to bloody eat. He's pretty cool. But yeah, yeah, okay. Well then, but also on top you spread mayonnaise.

The cupi. Yeah, how do you know all this? I like eating, Jessi. Okay, but this is a very unusual bespoke knowledge that you're okay Not everything revolves around New York City. Okay, Jesse Okay, yeah, but like yeah Brixton market mom they've gotten my whole pancake place there really yeah Japanese pancakes. Oh, well, that's great I'm very impressed and so okay then for my drinks. We have a mocktail list and

Yeah, there's a yuzu cucumber soda he makes. Gorgeous. Yeah, so it's, you know... What's that cocktail called? Yuzu cucumber. Oh, so you're looking for... There are some names. It's not mine.

You must have a picture of this. I need to see it. I have all the menus here. Should I get it now? Yes, absolutely. I have all the menus. I can get them in 10 seconds. I love it now? Yes, absolutely. I have all the menus, I can get them in 10 seconds. I love it. ["The Christmas Tree"] Oh my God, okay, people can't see this.

Maybe, I don't know whether we're allowed to show this on the, we could potentially. It should be great. Would we be allowed to show this on the thing? Yes, of course, I'll send you all three menus. Okay, this is an incredibly mature mature it's a very cool font mm-hmm the door I presume is because of the flag the Japanese flag maybe or not based it on a restaurant that he wants to run to he based the logo but it's

different we looked it up it's but it's inspired by it's inspired by it's so adult we've got miso, wonton, ramen. The ramen soup sounds delicious, mushrooms and broccoli. Salads, quite an array for an eight-year-old. Seaweed salad, green fruit salad. That's spinach, omakase, strawberries. Oh, he likes to combine the sweet with the... Oh my goodness.

Japanese plum and yuzu dressing. Wow. Japanese cucumber salad. Chinese cucumber salad. Right. Rice dishes. Onigiri, for sure. Love that. Shiso leaf is in there. Dan Dan noodles. I love a Dan Dan noodle. Something for the spice lovers. Okay, yeah. We've got the pancake. Okonomiyaki. Oh wow. Oh, so the appetizers. Your son, your son has gone for mainly vegetables. Your eight-year-old son has gone for vegetable bok choy, edamame, garlic, spinach. Wanton avocado toast sounds wicked. Yeah. Have you had that somewhere? Wanton avocado toast? Or has he just created? No he made that up

because he started using, because he didn't eat gluten, he started using these gluten-free wanton things as bread. This is amazing. So from Jafan, what's the dessert? Sorry. I'm looking at the menu now and okay, yesterday I asked him, can I get the black sesame cake without the honey drizzle? And then I said to him, actually, you know what, can you put the honey drizzle on the side? And he laughed. I said, what's so funny? He said, well, if it's drizzle, it's not going to go on the side. I thought, wow, that's pretty amazing. So I'm gonna get the black sesame cake

with the honey drizzle. Not on the side. No. Dessert menu, mochi, red bean paste, mango sticky rice, matcha ice cream, black sesame cake, sesame balls. I'm obsessed. So this is what you did before you boarded your plane.

Yeah, exactly. I went from the Kinkos to the airport, actually. Yes, exactly. I love that. Yeah. So please help yourself to anything. This is amazing. Tell me what it is. Yeah, I love it. Oh, good. I love it. And I've got color. I've got matzah if you want matzah. It's quite divisive. Chopped liver though, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It is. But I've always loved it. And why is it divisive? Because I think people that aren't Jewish, that maybe aren't into chicken liver pate. I think it's terrible name chopped liver. Well it's become like the phrase right you have the phrase here too right what

am I chopped liver? Yes. Do they? Yeah. We've only heard it from like New Yorkers saying. Jessie likes pickles with her. Thanks a lot. Do you like fish balls? Fish balls I don't know that I've had but I like gefilte fish. Is that? Yeah, gefilte is like fried gefilte fish. Oh that's what it is. Okay. Have you ever had a volavon? What's it called? This is a volavon. No, never seen it. What? They were kind of retro. They're kind of retro. Kind of. Oh really? oh great. Mushroom pastry. It's great. I made the filling, but I bought the cases. This is for different mom.

Hey, can I give you one? No, I'm fine for a minute, thanks. Just help yourself. Really good. Can we talk about, you filmed in Poland. Yeah, there's this scene where you and your cousin, who's played by Kieran Culkin, you're having this soup,

sitting down in this lovely little square, and your character says, weird soup, and he's like, no, I love it. And he's like this world, he's kind of like, loves it. Did you eat well in Poland? Yeah, I mean, beets are probably my favorite food. I love beets so much. Borscht, to me, is just the perfect meal. Oh, it's delicious.

It's the perfect meal. There's an egg in there for protein. It can be a little sweet, but it's vegetable. Do you always have egg in yours? Yeah. Do you not? No, sometimes I've had whole potato. That's in there too, but they'll often like put a hard boiled egg in there.

Really? Yeah. Are you eating cold or hot? Do you know? I think. Or both? I would have warm. Yeah, warm. Oh really? Oh, you got to try cold borscht. Yeah. Oh really? Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Absolutely phenomenal. And we were shooting in the summer, so I was only eating cold borscht. So when you're in New York, where's the first spot that you're gonna go and eat when you get back from a long filming? And you're like, this is what I'm having. I'm back on home soil. Yeah, my kid likes this restaurant called Juban now I know you're thinking he stole the name. He didn't his is Jeff Jeff on It was inspired. Mm-hmm inspired by, and different menu, completely different menu. But anyway, he loved that place.

You know, it's a Japanese restaurant, but they have more experimental things. My kid is just really curious with food. He loves going there and I love taking him there. He has an unusual existence, you know. It was like a kind of almost like running joke about the only children in New York City, you know, that their older friends are adults and that, you know, they listen to The Daily, which is our, you know, like serious New York City, you know, that their older friends are adults and that, you know, they listen to The Daily, which is our, you know, like serious New York Times podcast. I also take them down the block, one block to a place called Pepe Gaglio, which is like

an Italian restaurant that he also loves. He's gluten-free mostly because he had a stomach problem when he was a kid that the doctor suggested he goes gluten-free. And so we get the gluten-free pasta there, which is good, which he likes. Yeah, because gluten-free pasta can be quite, it can be hit and miss, can't it? Exactly, this one's a hit, exactly that. Yeah. That's great. Can I have one of these too?

Yeah, I made the blinis, I want you to know that. Wait, you made the actual dough? Yeah, well it's not dough, it's like pancakes. Tell me what you think. It's unbelievable. Oh, you are so nice, Jessie. They're so easy. This is all phenomenal. Oh, it's such a pleasure. Did you make this thing? Yeah. You did? so nice. This is all phenomenal. Oh it's such a pleasure.

Did you make this thing? Yeah. You did? Do you like it? Yes I love it. It's amazing. It's a good one. Really good. How do you make it actually? Are you? Chicken livers with onions and... Wait but sorry are you baking it and then mashing it? No no no I fry the onions then you put the chicken livers in then I put it in a food processor with hard-boiled eggs. Got boiled eggs and mush it all up and then I grate eggs on the top. Oh got it so there's egg inside as well. Yeah. Wow it's fantastic. I like egg inside. Yeah. I think it just lifts it a bit. Jesse you just got your protein. Yes exactly I'm getting everything here except well really anything really healthy but um yeah this is my mom always said this is why my mom was so morbid but she was like this is why well, let's say when I was so morbid

But she was like this is why we all get sick because our you know Look what I look what we ate growing up all this Jewish food, you know It's fattening and I know no one ate vegetables unless they were boiled to this looks like a kiddish How long are you in London for just another day I'm on like this press tour so it's like literally I'm like for this for your Film. Mm-hmm. Yeah, tour. So it's like literally I'm like for this for your film Yeah, and it's been months like and will continue. So mom saw the BFI when you came for the BFI. Yeah Yeah, I loved that. Yeah, cuz you were on the stage and then we saw you all come on and you all it was great Oh, you were at that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh god

The Royal Festival Hall and we saw all the cast that was was fabulous. Yeah. That was such a nice time. I loved it. Is Kieran a friend? Yeah, I mean- In true life? In my social opinion? Yeah. I love him so much and I find him unknowable.

He is, he's a kind of, he's a mysterious person. When I first met Kieran, I thought he and I would be exactly alike. So I just assumed he had all the same feelings I do about everything in the world, you know, same cynicism same And he's just not that at all Like we're going on these press tours kieran is winning like every award and he's just like doesn't pay attention to it Doesn't think about it

Like i'm nervous and thinking about it and preparing and trying to work, you know when the studio tells me to go do something You know do it and be polite and kieran is just like he shows up late and everything He's so charming and sweet and polite, but he's just like has no anxiety. He doesn't care about his career. He doesn't have ambition. He just wants to be home with his kids. In fact, he tried to, like I don't think he's done a movie in a decade,

but he tried to drop out of our movie two weeks before we shot the movie because he decided he'd just rather be home with his kids and so. Good for him. Yeah, well, good and bad. We had spent a lot of money, you know, in locations. Did you tell, did you?

How did you convince him to be? I didn't. Did you get a lawyer to get him? Better than that. Like Emma Stone is our producer. And so she called him and said, oh, you know, I heard that you are thinking of maybe dropping out.

So, no, I just wanted to say that's so great that you wanna, you know, spend time with your kids. And don't worry, this is not on you. We'll find, we'll figure out how to make this movie. And he goes, yeah, well, if you need help casting, recasting, I can help you. And she said, no, no, no, the whole thing will fall apart if you don't do it, everybody will be out of a job.

But I understand what you're saying, so you do what you wanna do. And we'll tell Jesse that, because I think he had written this about his family who survived the Holocaust, so we'll just tell him that we're not gonna be able to make the movie. And she just blackmailed him into doing it.

Jewish guilted him, yeah. She is the most Jewish Gentile, I know Yeah, I mean, how did you get Emma involved? Are you friends? Yeah, we're she's a producer on the on the film and obviously sealed the deal with Karen not Yeah, I would so how did Emma get involved? We met when she was like 20. We were doing a movie zombie land I'm like four or five years older than her And she's so brilliant. I knew at 20 years old, I was like, this woman is just unbelievably brilliant. And after that movie, I started writing plays and books and she was so sweet. She'd be the only person I know who would read everything

I wrote, like find obscure things that I wrote in magazines that no one read. And she would send me screenshots. This is my favorite line. She was so sweet. She's also the most famous person I knew. So it was always a shock that she would be so interested in my obscure things. And then I had sent a script to her agent for Julianne Moore. They have the same agent, Emma and Julianne Moore. And I had sent Emma's agent a script because I was trying to direct my first movie and her agent gave it to her and said, your friend wrote this script. And Emma said, well, we were just, we wanted to start a production company.

So let this be our first movie. And so she's, we're now about to start my third movie that she's producing. And she's just the greatest. I think of her like she's like a fairy godmother to me. Like she's given me so many amazing opportunities. She's really somebody who's she's accomplished everything. And I feel like I'm like, you know, a beneficiary or something. I guess so. You know, this is so mad, Jesse. You've been you've had like a 20 year plus career.

You are so beloved. Like people go to films because you're in them. You are amazing. Oh, thank you. But you know, everybody passed on this movie, A Real Pain. Oh really? Every financing company passed on it. Every studio passed on it.

Oh, look at you now. Well, no, it's not like that kind of thing It's just like huge. Yeah, I'm just saying like it looks maybe from the outside like I'm a busy working actor who's successful But like when you're trying to get it like a movie made when somebody's gonna say like yeah We're gonna invest three million dollars into this movie You know, it's not something that people jump on but having Emma's my producer was really helpful So she would go on these meetings with me for financing and she, you know, everybody just defers her. She's just brilliant. And so that was really, really helpful. So no, it is helpful. She can get any movie made, like absolutely. She can get any

movie made, but there's probably only five people like that who can literally just get anything made if their name is attached to it, regardless of what it is. But I'm telling you, it's like five people in the industry are like that. And now she's helping you, well, you're making your next one with her. So this is just amazing. So can you talk about the next one yet? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's- Will you star in it?

No, I might play in it, but the leads are Julianne Moore and Paul Giamatti, and it takes place in the world of community theater, which is where I grew up. I grew up doing community theater. So it takes place in New Jersey Community Theater, and she's a very kind of shy person who's never been in a show before and she winds up in this kind of silly little community theater musical and

Paul Gimati is the director who kind of you know thinks of himself like one of the great artists in the world. Oh yeah I hope so I hope so. Do you want some more smoke smoke? What is going on? What is all this stuff? I ate everything like that was the last thing I was gonna eat. I know I made this cake for you. You made this? Do you. You made this? Do you have a sweet tooth?

Yeah. Oh, that's what's going on. Oh, it's an orange. It's a clementine cake. Oh my God, that sounds amazing. Oh, let me take one more thing, because it's caviar and I, you know. I love this.

I'm so glad you're eating. And also have you, I'm sure you've had a mince pie before. What is mince pie? Okay, so lots of people in America, well, you don't have them there. A mince pie is a very traditional thing that I think, Brits, I don't know if Europeans all have it. It's something we have at Christmas.

My husband starts on them in November because he loves them so much. Interesting, okay. You're either gonna love it or you're gonna hate it. I'll do it. It's like a sweet and child or something. It's lots of currants. So that's a mince pie and then mum has made a Nigella Lawson Clementine cake.

Would you like another cup of tea with yours? No, no, I'm great. This is all amazing. Thank you so much. Would you like some, what is this cream? Mascarpone. Mascarpone. Would you like a bit of Mascarpone?

Sure. Where does it go on? This thing? Yeah. Thanks. Jesse Eisenberg's trying a mince pie for the first time. Oh, that's amazing. Of course.

It's nice. I mean, it's jelly on dough. It's like, you know. Yeah, it's kind of, can you feel the Christmas cheer in that? Well, I am tasting something that feels like a Christmas spice. What is that? Clove maybe? Clove, yeah. Yeah, okay. Do you want some cake?

Yeah, real slither please. Slither. What will you be doing for Christmas? Will you be getting Chinese? Huh. Funny. Isn't that what all Jewish New Yorkers do? I'm laughing, but probably.

Really? I mean, yeah, that's what Jewish New Yorkers do? I'm laughing, but probably. Really? I mean, yeah, that's what Jewish New Yorkers do. Why is that? It's a weird tradition that goes back a long time ago, I guess. That was the only thing that was open. Yeah. And they were like the two immigrant communities that didn't celebrate Christmas. Have you ever had a Christmas dinner?

Well, they have Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, which is quite similar, isn't it? I come from a family of vegetarians. Oh, God. We just had Thanksgiving, which is where we adopt a turkey. We pay for a turkey to be not killed. And we have a picture of that turkey on the thing, and it's a vegan Thanksgiving. We do this every year.

Wow. Lentil loaf is the big centerpiece. What's your turkey called this year? Do you name the turkey? Yes. oh my God, what was the name? It was something like Grover. It was like a person's name. That's what's so funny about it. It's always like a person's name.

Was it Grover? I think it might've been Grover. So Christmas too, like it would be, like anytime we have dinner with my family, it's vegan. Cause that's like the, you know, most people are vegetarian or vegan. So that's what we have. And you grew up vegetarian?

No, no. Only like the last 15 years did my mom, like my sisters were both vegan growing up. They're 13 years apart and my mom stopped eating meat and my dad mostly stopped eating meat maybe 15 years ago. I started eating meat about 10 years ago because I was vegetarian and vegan for a while and then I'm just like I don't know why I'm because I'm self-centered. I wish I could go back. I mean I should go back. Can I have some mascarpone? Sure. I mean, the way you were shoving that smoke,

Simon in, babe, I don't think you're going back any time soon. I know, I was like a bear in Alaska. I know, I know. I know, I know, I know. No, but I agree with the, listen, I cannot wait for the fake meat revolution. Use your fork, just shove, if you need to scrape it off,

just do what you need to do. Okay, next time I will. Can we go back to your mum for a moment? Sure. Because obviously, your mum was a teacher, and then a clown, a birthday clown. So this idea of offering jokes to each other, was this, I'm presuming your mum's quite funny? She's funny, she's more like, my dad is like more witty, my mom is more like she was performative because she was a clown and everything. Yeah. And it really did create exactly who I am because I'm I am because I've been in writers' rooms before where people are pitching jokes and everything.

And I just don't like it that much. I feel like I need to perform or something. I feel like I also need to be sad and depressed. I like the whole thing. And so it's really a combination of my parents because my mom wasn't that witty, but she was so engaging as a performer. And my dad could never perform. He's like the most awkward person in kind of a public setting and so I think I got both. Did she do your birthday parties or you like mum just no? No that was like it's so funny I grew up thinking it's so funny you should bring that up because I just grew up knowing that was like a complete conflict of interest like of course she would not

do my parties. I don't even know why we had this strict rule, but it was like, you know, as though she was like taking the SATs from me. It was like, no, of course that would never happen. And so she had her friend Bruce, who was a magician do my parties. So Bruce Bray did my parties in exchange that she would do his family's, you know, parties. And what was like your mom's go-to, like, showstopper?

She did a game called the Hooper Hop. So my mom grew up in a communist, American communist family and so all of her games, well this game Hooper Hop, it was the game where you lose to win. And only as an adult did I realize all of her games were like these kind of Marxists. Yeah. Yeah. And the person who needs the most balloons gets the most balloons. And the loudest person never gets a balloon, this kind of thing. And so like, so that was her game. And she would do, what do you call them, animal balloons, she would twist the animal balloons. And she was great. She was great. It's funny, though, like, I really do think of her as like, at the time,

I thought it was like, just a normal job that she had. And I saw somebody who had like what, again, I consider like a normal job being really crazy and silly and I consider my job Normal, I imagine you do too, but other people ask me, you know Don't you feel weird being an actor or whatever like no It just seems like a normal job like to go to a movie set and cry in front of strangers It sounds odd when I say it out loud but like it was normalized for me for me from birth that that yeah, it's normal to be a performer and to Expose yourself or whatever, you know, and not in vain ways,

but just in like the enjoyment of it. So would you be quite happy for your son to be a performer? Yeah, my kid is in my movie, in a real pain playing my kid, so you see him in the videos. Oh, that's him! Talking about the Empire State of the Living. Yes, exactly. I did think that bit was acted really well actually, Jesse. Yeah, it has for a long.

He just literally had to join SAG this week, the Screen Actors Guild. Oh my goodness. Yeah, so he's in SAG. But no, I would never put him in another thing. It's New Year. Have you got any New Year's resolutions? Do you believe in New Year's resolutions?

That is a great question, all due respect to your question. That is a better question. Yeah, because they go within about 10 minutes, don't they? they okay about 10 years ago? I had started eating meat again about 10 years ago on new year's eve I was hanging out with this family and there's a little kid and the kid was eating chicken and kind of just like You know throwing it on the ground and like I just remember thinking my god. I should not never eat meat again I should just never eat meat That's just being wasted and everything and I saw this little kid who was not eating it and throwing it on the ground And everything and I just thought I can never eat meat again. It's just being wasted and everything. And I saw this little kid who was not eating it and throwing it on the ground and everything. And I just thought I can never eat meat again.

It's just, you know, anyway, about three days later, I was in an airplane and I stopped in at an airport and I and there was a Shake Shack. I never ate Shake Shack in my life. And I was like, you know, this would be my last meat. This is gonna be my last meat. So I went on. So I got a Shake Shack burger and I ate it there. And then on the plane, which was going to England, I got sicker than I've ever gotten in my entire resistance

So I spent that like I spent like the you know The airplane ride in the bathroom and then when I got to customs at Heathrow I got to customs and I gave him my passport and I excuse me, but like I like everywhere Oh, like on the desk Oh And then I was on the floor at customs just like and I couldn't stop and luckily the guy knew me from movies Because otherwise I think maybe I would be banned from the country for illness or whatever. So, um, so I was able to get in But anyway, and I was stretching but I just remember thinking

I made the new year's resolution three days before I ate this meat and I broke it three days in and I got punished for it Yeah, and so I just thought you know, let me not make these resolutions So i'm gonna break them and then you after though, after I did get like food poisoning, I stopped eating meat for like another few weeks. I really don't believe in it. It's like, it's bad for everything. So, but I mean, I'm sorry, that sounds like sanctimonious. I just mean like in me, I know I should not eat it. And I come from a family who doesn't need it. What is a nostalgic taste for you? Well, that's a great question. You're so kind, Jessie, by the way. You say that's a great question.

Like you are kind. Yeah, but you're like a really kind teacher. And I don't know whether your wife does this too. Very interesting, Jessie. Yeah, no, no, no. No, that actually is an interesting question because I don't actually have the thing that I go to. But I don't know.

Do you have peanut butter and jelly here? Is that a thing? Yeah. Is it a thing like it's a thing with us? Peanut butter and jam is our version of it. No, but it's not big. It's an American thing. It's an American thing.? Peanut butter and jam is our version of it. No, but it's not big. It's an American thing. It's an American thing.

That's how we learned about it. Got it. Okay, no, that for me is like nostalgic and great. When would you have been eating it? When you were happy, when you were sad? Yeah, both. I mean, I ate it all growing up. You probably would have one a day.

In fact, football players now are eating these things called uncrustables, which is basically peanut butter and jelly in a little bread thing and you freeze it and it's like a it's like a fast food kind of thing. But it's so popular in our country. I wonder you don't have peanut butter as much here, right? And is it part of your culture? Like it's an American?

It's just my family, a massive peanut butter. They go through a kilo of peanut butter, probably a week. Yeah, like we have like a huge, but I like it savory. So I'll have it with Marmite. If you have Marmite. Yeah, I've had marmite too. So try that with a bit of cheese as well. Oh, is that great?

Really? On a bread thing or? Yeah, on toast, gorgeous. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you, thank you for doing this. Shlapping over to clap them, yeah. And being so open and wonderful. Oh, thank you.

And you are a gem, and we're so lucky to have you on our screens and now writing and directing. It's just, yeah, we're very happy. Can I just ask, when your wife went to see your film, did she put a coat over her face? Just in case she didn't like it. I think she kept her coat behind her. Thank God for that.

That's like the thumbs up or thumbs down. Was your coat on your head for this movie or a coat behind you? Yeah, exactly. Two coats behind us, which is the rating. Yeah, so no, she did like it for the most part. Jesse, thanks so much for coming on. Thank you. I loved him.

Loved. I feel he could be my son, Jess. Really? Yeah, I felt a real affinity with him. I feel he could be my son, Jess. Really? Yeah, I felt a real affinity with him. A familial affinity. Like, just wonderful to talk to. Interesting, passionate, generous, ate all the food. Appreciative. I love him. Love him.

Yeah, me too. And a proper good dad. So proud of his son. So proud of his son. What a star. A real kind of humble gentleman and always ready to praise other people and give them their due. It was just lovely. Everyone go and see a real pain. Because it's really lovely. It's not a pain at all. It's just completely charming. Love that. Happy New Year everybody, and we'll see you next week for more Table Melons. ["Table Melons"]